Kingdom Moms Magazine Fall Publication

KINGDOM K I N G D O M

M O M S

W I N

P R E S E N T S

MOMS holiday

CLEANING

TIPS

Eliminate your holiday stress with a strategy!

HOW TO GAIN

BALANCE Learn how to gain a sense of balance as a mother.

hey GIRL

*deep sigh* Wheeeeewwww! Let’s take a quick moment to pause and breathe! For so many of us, we have done so well keeping it together. Between taking care of our families, managing all aspects of the home, navigating through virtual learning with our children/grandchildren, or making sure our adult children remain sane—we’ve done a spectacular job keeping our families afloat! Most times, we don’t even realize we haven’t taken a moment to ourselves. I can recall saying, “I just want to dwell with my own thoughts for a moment without thinking about anyone else.” Trust me girl, I completely get it! You’ve done well and I celebrate you!!! No one ever has to know that on Tuesday, the kids had Oreos for breakfast and you chose not to care! Or, on Friday, they had cereal for dinner and you were simply happy that their bellies were full. Perhaps, you allowed them to take a nap at 6PM on a school night knowing they’d be up all night. LISTEN, this is a NO JUDGEMENT ZONE! It happens to the best of us. Everything that I have prided myself on as a mother has been challenged through this pandemic and guess what, even with the unpleasant AND unplanned meal choices, they are happy, alive and well! Give yourself a hand, MaMa! I’m clapping for myself!

Here’s my advice to you: KEEP YOUR HEAD LIFTED! Many of us have tried to remain positive despite how our current situations may look. We scroll through social media and it appears that everyone else has it all together and has progressed forward. At times, we begin to unknowingly compare ourselves, question our parenting/life’s decisions, and subsequently accept a defeated posture. BE CAREFUL!!! Comparison truly is the thief of joy!

So here’s my reminder to you: Sista Mom, you are right where you’re supposed to be! When feelings of defeat try to rise, here’s my challenge to you— find reasons to be grateful. When the spirit of overwhelm tries to grip your heart, remember how blessed you are and that you’ve made it THIS far.

God knew you could handle it all, or He wouldn’t have handed it to you! It’s okay to take a deep breath. And, it’s okay to find yourself a hiding place when you need a moment. But whatever you do, don’t lose your posture of gratitude! Find you some sticky notes. Write things you’re grateful for and post them in your mirror, or refrigerator. Keep gratitude at the forefront of your mind. After all, It is the breeding ground for increase and promotion in every area of your life! We’re in this together!!

Psalm 103:2-5 “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

Shalena Dudley / / E D I T O R & C H I E F

table

CONTENTS 0F

fashion & beauty herstory health & wellness education finance momgrace mombalance FALL

YOU

INTO

ARE

MENTAL

FASHION

WORTH

&

SPIRITUAL

EDUCATION

MOMMY

IT

&

PARENTING

GAINING

DURING

HEALTH

A

PANDEMIC

MONEY

THROUGH

BALANCE

A

AS

PANDEMIC

A

&

SOCIAL

MOM

holidayfun mom affirmation CLEANING

YOU

ARE

TIPS

FOR

WORTH

IT

THE

HOLIDAYS

JUSTICE

herSTORY M O R I A H

F R I E N D

Five and a half years ago, my life shifted for the worse. I mean everything literally shattered and crumbled in an instant. Up until that moment, life was pretty good. I was married to a man whom I loved, and together we had two beautiful children and were expecting our third child. I was living in what many consider paradise on the beautiful island of Oahu, Hawaii! I must admit that from a visual perspective, it came close to paradise. Palm trees, sunny weather year-round, fresh fruit, and ocean views. It was literally a dream come true. Sad to say, that dream was cut short when three years into our stay, tragedy struck. My husband committed suicide, and from that moment on, life as I knew it would never be the same. I went from being a married mother of two to being a widow and single mother.

This change to my status, if you will, was quite difficult and very uncomfortable. I took great pride in being a wife as well as in being a mother. I now had not only to raise my children alone, but I had to walk them through what would probably be one of the most difficult times of their lives. They were grieving and were in desperate need of someone who could be there for them to lean on; someone stable, someone sure. Honestly, at that point in time, I was not as stable as I would have liked to be, or even as I may have appeared to be. On top of my grief, I felt uncertain, alone, and afraid. In just a few short months after his passing, I was set to give birth to my third child, and I wasn’t sure how anything would turn out. I was in a place I’d never been, nor had I ever imagined I would be in. Single motherhood was not something I had planned for, and plans were important to me!

You see, I never wanted to be a single mother because I knew that with it came a sort of stigma.

There seemed to be a sense of negativity surrounding single mothers, especially within the Christian faith community. As a woman of faith and someone who grew up in the church, I had to get over the fear of being judged. More importantly, I believed that it was necessary for children to have both of their parents raise them. Aside from that, I knew that it would not be easy. Raising children is a challenge, no matter what the circumstances are!

Five and a half years ago, my life shifted for the worse. I mean everything literally shattered and crumbled in an instant. Up until that moment, life was pretty good. I was married to a man whom I loved, and together we had two beautiful children and were expecting our third child. I was living in what many consider paradise on the beautiful island of Oahu, Hawaii! I must admit that from a visual perspective, it came close to paradise. Palm trees, sunny weather year-round, fresh fruit, and ocean views. It was literally a dream come true. Sad to say, that dream was cut short when three years into our stay, tragedy struck. My husband committed suicide, and from that moment on, life as I knew it would never be the same. I went from being a married mother of two to being a widow and single mother.

Needless to say, I had and still have my moments of “God, this isn’t fair” or “I didn’t sign up for this.” The truth is, motherhood had become a mountain for me. It was a role I wasn’t sure I could fulfill as a single woman, but God’s grace has been and still is sufficient for me. It’s taken much prayer, sacrifice, and tears, but I came to understand that God has equipped me for this. I truly believe not only has He equipped me, but He gives the necessary tools for every mom to be successful, whether married, single, widowed or divorced.

Those “God, this isn’t fair” moments like to show up for me sometimes during the holiday season as well. For my family, that time of year can be difficult. It has taken some adjustment, and every year we tend to flow a little bit differently. The holidays can be challenging for single moms, maybe even especially so for those who’ve experienced the loss of their significant other, whether due to death or separation. Images of families sitting around the Christmas tree or at the dinner table are everywhere, and the children are either full of excitement or sorrow. What has helped me get through this sometimes-difficult season is to hold on to five simple rules, which I try to live by and adjust as needed.

Be Open.

Have honest conversations with your children and let them know how you’re feeling. It’s perfectly okay to let them see you in the ups and downs of motherhood.

Remember, although you’re superwoman to them, you’re still human.

Be Present.

Yes, physical gifts are great, but your presence is the real present (your kids will thank you later)!

Take Time For You. Self-care is necessary. Don’t feel bad about gifting yourself.

Create Memories.

New ones. Hold on to old ones if you choose, but make sure you do what’s best for your family. This may mean putting personal feelings to the side and letting the kids have a say in what they’d like to do.

Go With The Flow.

It’s okay NOT to have a plan sometimes. Live in the moment, make room for spontaneity, and have some fun!

While these “rules” are especially helpful during the holidays, they have also proven to be helpful throughout my journey as a mom. I have learned to be thankful for the difficult moments and challenges because they have helped to shape me into the mother I am today. I’m far from perfect, but every day I strive to use what God has given me for my children. My hope and prayer for you is that you will be encouraged to keep going even on your worst day. Keep going even when the plan changes or fails completely. Know that when life forces you down unexpected paths that twist and turn all over the place, you are still well-equipped. You may not know you’re equipped until you are forced to have to pull out some tools right at the moment, but nevertheless, use what you got! You’ve got this!

fall

INTO

FASHION T E N I S H A

K Y L E R

As the year progresses, so do the hottest styles! There is a reason that fall is many people’s favorite season, especially those who enjoy fashion! From the omnipresent neutral color combinations to a myriad of bright shades, there is something for everyone!! Let’s get into it!

Belted Trench Coat I NY & Co. I $79

1.COAT TRENCH

While they are staples in many wardrobes, trench-coats are best pulled into your daily looks during the fall season. They are the perfect layering lightweight items for transitioning your wardrobe as the weather becomes cooler.

Trench coats are one of the longest-lasting trends, and I

don’t believe they are going away anytime soon. Please, I beg of you, do not be afraid of color! A colored trench can make the difference in any outfit. Its use goes beyond it being a simple outerwear piece. It is indeed an accessory to complement your entire look! It can be worn belted to cinch your waist or rocked openly to create some volume and display an oversized look. Either way, I promise a trench coat will instantly elevate your outfit.

Go snatch your new trench, girl!

2

MONOCHROMATIC

. MANIA

One of my personal favorite looks during fall are monochromatic and neutral outfits.

Here’s an assignment; Look in your closet and find wardrobing pieces from the same color family.

You’d be surprised at how you can create a runway-inspired, fashionable presentation from clothing pieces that already exist in your wardrobe.

Do not resist experimenting with varying shades of neutral tones or romancing your way into deep merlot colored outfits. The opportunities are endless, and these are timeless options for anyone’s closet.

7th Avenue Suit I NY&Co I $19.99 +

Women’s Tailored Suit I ASOS I $56+

3.SWEATERS

TURTLENECK

Lastly, fall “must-haves” are two items I consider the perfect pair, turtleneck sweaters, and ankle booties. These two items complement a dressy outfit, just as well as they do a casual look. Pull out that trench coat we discussed earlier *wink*, and your ensemble will come alive. Not only are turtlenecks convenient, yet still high-fashion, but ankle boots are a fashion-forward, working woman’s go-to during fall. They create a seamless amount of edge that captures the attention of those surrounding you. With a turtleneck sweater, lightweight trench coat, and some timeless leather ankle boots, you are on your way towards an effortless SLAY!

Women’s Turtleneck Cropped Pullover Sweater I Target I $25

Mental & SPIRITUAL H

E

A

L

T

H

Grace and Peace, Kingdom Moms, I am so honored to have the opportunity to share some Godly wisdom regarding “Being Healthy Mentally.” We are in a challenging era that has put a massive demand on our emotional well-being. There are a plethora of things we can prescribe to, assisting us in being healthy emotionally and psychologically. Good self-care is paramount; reading the Word, praying, eating well, taking time for yourself, getting ample amounts of sleep, maintaining connections with family and friends, seeing a professional, and the list goes on.

As a young kingdom mom of six children, I learned the importance of “emotional intelligence” and found that this was as necessary as focusing on my and my children’s intellectual and human intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the “capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”

We are triune beings (we are a spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body). The soul is comprised of the will, intellect, thinking, emotions, imagination, and personality. The soul is the gatekeeper that motivates us to live from either our spirits (Godconsciousness) or our bodies (sense consciousness).

We have been chosen and called with a mandate to live and move within a kingdom culture. An emotionally healthy culture within a kingdom culture positions us to guard our hearts and thinking when the difficulties of life knock on the door of our house.

Culture comes from the Latin word, “colere,” which means to till, tend, or cultivate. Overall, it involves one’s belief and thinking system. How we respond to life challenges can either make or break us. What we think and believe eventually becomes the manifestation of who we are and who we are becoming, Selah!

Life can take a toll on us and leave us feeling fragmented. When we find ourselves in this place, it may diminish our capacity to exercise optimal emotional health. But there is good news. As kingdom women, we have been given the power and authority to set and change the atmosphere, both internally and externally. The mood we create within an environment first affects us but can also have a profound effect on those who are participants in our environments. We are discerners of the temperature of the environment, and we have the capacity to become the thermostat.

Creating an “Emotionally Healthy Culture” for ourselves and our families begins with laying a foundation of “Soul Prospering and Profiting.” Soul prospering involves peace, but more than that, it implies wholeness. A prosperous soul that profits is a soul that surrenders to the King of kings and the Lord of lords on a daily basis. It is a worthwhile investment in establishing and maintaining one’s psychological fitness. We can change the course of a negative trajectory by tending to the soul (3 John 1:2).

Here are seven nuggets for possessing and maintaining emotional, mental, and psychological Fitness: 1. Will your soul to boast in the Lord by blessing Him at all times. - Psalm 34:1,2 2. Will your soul to give thanks for something on a daily basis. - Philippians 4:6-7 3. Will your soul to affirm “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and my soul is consciously aware of this truth.” - Psalm 139:14 4. Will your soul for daily renewal and transformation. You have the mind of Christ, so use it wisely. - Romans 12:2 5. Will your soul to build emotional resilience (one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations and crises). - James 1:2-4 6. Will your soul to utilize laughter as a coping mechanism when you are stressed. - Proverbs 17:22 7. Will your soul to love God with your everything, which includes loving yourself and others (practice forgiving yourself and others). - Mark12:29-31 I leave you with a daily exercise of symbolically placing a crown on your head. This is the pinnacle of maintaining emotional fitness. The wearing of the crown is to remind you of your queenly anointing and position in the kingdom. You are graced with rulership, dominion, authority, and the love of God. The first place of rulership in taking dominion is over your thoughts. As you are setting this symbolic crown on your head, formulate your thought processes. How will I manage and steward my thoughts, emotions, and will today? What type of mood will I create in my home that is wonderfully and miraculously infectious? And because I am aware that stuff happens, which can change my mood without me immediately realizing it, I will commit to memory a scripture, and/or an affirmation to speak out of my mouth that puts me back on course.

You are always on the mind of Father God. Have you never wondered what Father God thinks when he whispers your name?

YOU WIN BECAUSE YOU ARE ENOUGH! Recommended Children’s Book: A Crown on Your Head by Nancy Tillman.

Peace and Blessings, Dr. Cassaundra Bunkley

Education DURING A PANDEMIC TIPS & STRATE G IE S FOR PARE NTS TERESA

SMITH,

EDUCATOR

I don’t think any of us were really anticipating that we would still be navigating the world of remote or virtual learning. Although it may seem overwhelming, you and your children will be fine.

IS IT HOME SC HOOLING OR RE MOTE LE ARNING ?

I think it is important to first define some terms. Homeschooling and remote learning are similar, but not exactly the same. When you are homeschooling your child, you are the educator. Although you may be using published educational resources or even a prescribed curriculum, you are responsible for teaching it, grading work, and assessing progress.

In the remote learning environment, the traditional classroom teacher is the primary educator.

That teacher follows the school system’s curriculum, does the lesson planning, and provides direct instruction. This teacher is responsible for pacing, administering testing, grading, and providing feedback to the parent.

Know and understand that a typical school day for your child was not all about academic instruction. Many students were involved in clubs and other extracurricular activities before and after school. Students also had opportunities during the day to socialize (at lunch, during assemblies, while riding the bus, etc.). While in the remote learning environment, allow your child some moments to decompress. Hours on a device can be draining.

WHAT IF I’M NOT TE C H SAV V Y ?

W HAT AM I SUPPOSE D TO BE D OING ?

• Create a space that is conducive to learning for your child.

• Ensure your child is in attendance daily for every class.

•

Ch eck t o make s u re y ou r ch i l d i s on t rack. ( As s i g n men t Comp l et i on & S u b mi s s i on )

• Communicate with your child’s teacher and with your child.

• Stick to schedule, include morning routines and designated lunchtime.

The challenges most students and parents are facing are related to navigating the technology and overcoming connectivity issues.

Remember, you aren’t expected to know how to do this.

Teachers cannot always troubleshoot these issues during instructional time but can provide how-to videos or may be willing to meet with you one on one.

Seek support from your “village.” Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out to your family members and friends who are educators for tips. Ask older siblings to help out when they can. Pay a college student to provide some assistance.

These are unprecedented times, and the pressures may seem too hard to bear at times. Remember that the Bible declares that God will not put more on us than we can bear. You are equipped to handle this.

HOW C AN I E NHANC E THE RE MOTE LE ARNING E XPE R IE NC E FOR MY C HILD ?

First and foremost, remember that you were your child’s first teacher. Teach them to embrace this moment. Show your child a positive disposition and celebrate all that is good about remote learning. There is a lot to celebrate, like being able to sleep in, having more homecooked hot meals for breakfast and lunch, not having the pressure of needing to have the latest fashions, becoming more computer literate, and so much more.

Think about ways to generalize the things they are learning at school. Incorporate some practical education about things like money management or meal preparation. Take some virtual trips visiting museums, outdoor parks, etc.

Have your child journal about their experiences during this pandemic. These are unprecedented times, and they will one day look back and say, “We survived it.” Their journal will be a personal testament to all that they experienced. Have your child supplement their writing with original artwork and pictures to make it something they will treasure forever.

We truly are in this together. Education has always been a partnership between home and school. This is never truer than today. Stay informed about what is going on in your school community. Tap into resources available to you through the school, local libraries, and private entities. Continue to guide your children through their academic journey lovingly. It may not look like it right now, but this too shall pass. We will all have grown and, hopefully, learned some valuable lessons and skills.

mommy &MONEY Do you ever find yourself trying to figure out where all the money you earned went? It’s almost like it evaporated into a mist, especially when you calculate what your earnings were at the end of the year. Sometimes, our challenge is not how much we make; it’s how we spend it. An effective perspective to getting control over how we spend is to change how we see money.

Money has the value assigned to it by a society based on economic principles. The proof is in the fact that twenty dollars does not purchase the same amount of goods it did five years ago. By changing our approach to spending, we can impact our ability to save and create generational wealth.

Create a short term and long-term financial goal for yourself. If you’re married, have this conversation with your spouse.

Having a goal will help you remain focused. Take time to engage all five senses when creating this goal. Studies show that when our senses are engaged in an activity, it is more likely to be remembered, and then become reflexive(automatic).

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2

Every dollar you earn should have an assignment. Create a spending plan that includes tithing or charitable giving and savings in addition to just paying expenses. If a “want” comes up that was not planned for, do not make an exception and waver from the plan. Save for the “want.”

3

Before money is spent, ask yourself if that purchase meets your financial goals. If the answer is no, or you have to reason with your internal self to justify the purchase, don’t do it.

4

Lastly, unexpected purchases or expenses will come up; car repairs, medical bills, a friend with a serious need that you feel a need to assist with. However, this category should not be a regular monthly occurrence. If it is, revisit your goal, spending plan, and your commitment to achieving it.

Now is the time to begin preparing for the coming year. Saving and building generational wealth is intentional. Being intentional may be uncomfortable in the beginning stages; however, it is well worth it when money is serving you rather than you serving it.

- JEWELL JONES

#mom grace

Parenting Through A Pandemic and Social Injustice D E V O N N A

U P S H A W

With everything going on around us, it is so extremely important to stay grounded in peace. It is even more important to keep and extend that same peace to our children. In many cases, children have been ripped from their daily routines of school and after-school programs and have now been thrown into a world of uncertainty caused by the new normal following the global outbreak of COVID-19. Explaining to our children what the virus is and why it is essential that we practice social distancing (which means they can’t see or play with their friends) can be a difficult task. It has been exhausting.

To make matters worse, we have found ourselves having to explain racism and why it isn’t safe for Black people, especially Black men, in America right now. We are at war against a system of social injustice that has taken the lives of countless people of color without repercussions. It is imperative to keep this information age and emotionally appropriate for our children while still creating a safe environment where we can have those tough conversations.

God does not want us to be overtaken in fear; He wants us to walk in love, strength, and sound thoughts (2 Tim 1:7).

You know your children better than anyone else, so you know what they can and can’t handle.

Just know, Mama, that YOU are doing your best! Some of us are working from home while attempting to be a parent and a teacher all at the same time. It can be stressful, hard, and definitely draining. Remember, you can do ALL things through Christ! He is your strength (Phil 4:13). If you are struggling with knowing what to do or say to your children during this time, or in need of some additional pointers, take some time and read the age groups below that apply to you. We are in this together, for the long run.

LITTLE ONES (0-18 MONTHS)

TOTS (18 MONTHS-3 YEARS)

Babies can pick up their parents’ worry and anxiety with their “sixth sense.” During this public health crisis, moms may be thankful that their little one communicates through sounds, laughs, and sometimes screams. Although your sweet little one can’t understand words, here are some ways to reassure and comfort during uncertainty:

While still not able to completely verbalize their feelings, toddlers can feel if their loved ones are anxious. Toddlers are like sponges. They absorb everything around them.

Even during a good day, it may seem like an impossible task to keep toddlers calm during their terrific twos, but a few simple tricks may help your growing kid to stay calm while dealing with the disruption of their schedule.

• Stay calm around babies.

• Maintain normal routines as much as possible; these routines are reassuring for babies.

• Shield babies from media coverage as much as possible.

If it has been a hard day or a couple of days, soothe a stressed baby by first soothing yourself. While it may seem counter-intuitive, showing your baby you’re capable of selfsoothing is calming.

• Keep your bedtime routine the same.

• Consider using a white noise machine if toddlers find it hard to go to sleep.

• Get a diffuser and diffuse lavender.

• Listen and translate. Only you will know what their broken English really means.

• Watch for non-verbal signs that your toddler is anxious, including being afraid to go outside or to daycare, extra weepy, or clingy.

Besides keeping a blanket or favorite stuffed animal nearby, many toddlers will find relaxation through music. Put their favorite tune on repeat, and dance with them.

PRESCHOOLERS (3-5 YEARS OLD) Preschoolers could have questions about germs and even death. Shielding them from media coverage and things they may see online is recommended.

Safety is a primary concern for this age group. Reassure their safety repeatedly, but don’t let their fears trigger your worry. This age group can have a hard time distinguishing between fantasy and reality.

• Reassure about their families’ health and friends. Sing happy songs with them while washing hands.

• Bedtimes are important; keep the routine of stories and tuck-in time.

• Give lots of hugs and physical reassurance.

• Don’t engage in conversation about the COVID-19 pandemic unless they bring it up first, or there’s a safety need.

Help your preschooler to feel safe and entertained with daily activities that involve sounds, shapes, and colors.

BIG KIDS (6-9 YEARS OLD) Although not quite old enough to understand the gravity of the current situation, many big kids will have had several conversations about the virus and what’s taking place on the news without their parents. At this age, it’s essential to evaluate what they know to combat any irrational fears or misinformation.

• Explain what happened; many might not have the full picture.

• Ask if they have any more questions, and offer helpful resources.

• Be extra patient; kids this age may not know how to process complex emotions.

• Limit media coverage.

• Try to keep normal routines; they’re still important at this age.

If they continue to be upset, explain to them that social distancing is one of the precautions being taken to keep people from getting sick. If fear persists, help them to do something useful like hand washing, cleaning, or writing letters to nursing homes. If they have questions about race, the police, or violence, find an age-appropriate way to explain what is going on while reassuring them that they are safe.

TEENS (13-18 YEARS OLD) Dealing with the teen’s disappointment and fears will be critical as you both navigate the changes to your future plans. Many of them forfeited proms, sports events, and graduations. Black teens especially may be feeling unsafe and emotionally burdened.

They might have fear about what this will mean for their own health, school, schedule, or safety. Here are some ways to help them to cope.

• Acknowledge feelings of disappointment.

• Talk about how events like this can surface harmful stereotypes and discrimination.

• Seek out positive media.

• Guide your teen to do things instead of worry about things they cannot control.

• Use resources to spark conversations.

• Keep them away from triggering topics and images.

The truth is, no one has all the answers. We are all trying to figure out how to navigate through these uncertain times. As a mother, I have yet to find the strength to watch the video of George Floyd, crying out for his deceased mother as he died while pinned beneath the weight of a police officer’s knee on a Minneapolis street. Every time I thought I might be able to stomach it, I would stare at both of my Black sons and even my Black husband and realize that I am not there, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be. We are living through a time that nobody could have planned for. Still, God is forever in control. Lean on that.

Trust in that. Give yourself the grace to walk it out.

Mom BALANCE T A M E E K A

N E L S O N

Chauffeur. Counselor. Nurse. Referee. Party Planner. Negotiator. Stylist.

Investigator. Shopper. House CEO (as my daughter has me listed in her phone) and those are only some of your roles as a mom. If you are a wife, business owner, ministry leader, or employee, that list quickly expands. At this point, you have more jobs than the Holy Spirit, Sis! Ha! I’m sure your brain is probably working overtime, trying to juggle it all and find some sense of balance. Just know, you are not alone! While I can offer suggestions, I cannot tell you what balance looks like in your life. Balance is relative, and it is something that you must create for yourself. What I can tell you is that as you work towards it, things will flow easier, you will be at peace and truly enjoy and “in- joy” life from the inside out. Are you ready for that? I know you are!

Staying in balance is as easy as 1-2-3.

1.

Eliminate. Automate. Delegate.

Your to-do list is as long as a CVS receipt, Sis! Despite what you’ve heard, you don’t have to do it all! Write a list of everything you do. Some things only you can do. But take a closer look, and you will see tasks that you can eliminate, automate, and delegate. Outsourcing tasks like house cleaning and laundry may cost less than you think. Delegate tasks to your child(ren), especially essential life skills, like cooking and meal planning, folding clothes, etc. They can pay bills online or by phone. I often sit at the front of the grocery store, give each child $25, and they have to shop for dinner for five and come in under budget. That exercise teaches them several life skills in a fun way while I catch up on work, win-win!

2.

• • • • • •

Use Technology There’s an app for EVERYTHING nowadays, so make full use of technology. Some favorites are:

Google Calendar: Put family appointments, chores, and tasks in one place.

OurPact: You won’t have to fuss anymore. This app will allow you to block all devices until chores are complete and much more!

Online Grocery Shopping: Order online, pick it up, or have it delivered to your home. (Walmart, Target, Instacart, Amazon, etc.)

Moshi: If you have little ones, this is a lifesaver at bedtime!

Cozi Family Organizer: A family-shared app to keep your family information and communication in one location.

FamZoo: A family finance app that gives prepaid cards for children to receive allowances, gifts, etc.

3.

Put YOURSELF First On The Priority List

You are good to NO ONE if you are not good to yourself first. With all of our responsibilities, it’s easy to keep reassigning yourself to the end of the list. Prioritize your physical, spiritual, and emotional health. Put as much energy into taking care of yourself as you do in taking care of others.

Never forget, you are a woman FIRST. Put on your favorite perfume, your flirty dress, and some sassy heels and prance around your house. Do whatever makes you feel feminine! Before children, you had aspirations and goals, and those do not stop because you are a mother. Pick up your pen and write that book. Go back to school for that degree. Start the new online business. Pursue YOUR dream!

Your self-care is ESSENTIAL! Sometimes self-care is a Girl’s Night Out; other times, it‘s shutting your door and saying, “Mommy needs some time alone.” Sometimes it’s therapy; other times, exploring your creativity. Self-care is also saying, “No” and telling the children to resolve some issues on their own (and trust me, they will!). You deserve sacred time and space to calm yourself, collect your thoughts, and just BE. Don’t let mommy guilt take over. It may feel a little selfish, but your children will appreciate having you refreshed and fully present.

Set boundaries. Remember, “Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.”

Little by little, step by step, you got this, Sis!

Holiday CLEANING TIPS

It’s the holidays and you have a house full of guests coming. Breathe! I know holiday cleaning can be overwhelming, but we have a few tips to help you get going. Before you begin, grab a good Starbucks Frappuccino, burn a few soy candles in your home and turn on some upbeat music! NOW, let’s get started:

1.

Don’t wait until the last minute to start cleaning.

Start a week before the planned arrivals of your guests, so on that day, you are just touching up instead of rushing around.

2.

Make sure you have all your cleaning supplies to help you get started.

This should include an all-purpose cleaner, Windex, microfiber towels for dusting (these are especially good for trapping dust and dirt), mop, floor cleaner, vacuum, broom, Swiffer Sweeper, sponges, and a bucket.

3.

If you have younger children, make sure you get them involved. It’s great to have helpers. Your little ones would love to help with making their own beds, putting their toys away, and setting the dinner table..

4.

If you have teenagers, they could empty the trash, vacuum the carpet, sweep floors, and make sure their rooms are cleaned.

Don’t get stressed. This is why you are cleaning a week ahead.

5.

Dividing your house into sections makes for an effective plan. Begin by cleaning bedrooms; the next day, you can focus on the bathrooms (make sure bathrooms are spotless), followed by the living room, dining room, and the kitchen last.

6.

Remember to clean from top to bottom. Ceiling corners, walls, baseboards and then floors.

6.

Make sure light switches, bookshelves, and blinds are dusted.

Last but not least, remember to enjoy the holidays with your family. All of your hard work will not go unnoticed.

Suite Scenery C A N D L E

C O M P A N Y Moms are day-to-day superheroes who juggle a myriad of tasks, caring for family, assisting with homework, completing laundry, preparing meals, and meeting then emotional needs of the children, all while working and achieving personal goals. If there is any person in need of self-care, moms are number one. The sheer act of lighting a candle, seeing its subtle flicker, and the soft glow it creates, help ease and soothes the mind. Give it a try the next time you have a stressful day; light a candle, watch the flame, and just breathe for a few minutes - even just sixty seconds can make a big difference.

Here’s my story on how I became a candlemaker, and why you should shop for candles for your next Self-Care Saturday!

I began building this fantastic business in 2016, sitting in my empty apartment in Atlanta after losing everything except my faith! I knew starting over was just God’s way of giving me a clean slate, so I

doodled on notepads night and day, burning retail store candles to destress until one morning, I got an idea to create my own.

Frustration from poorly scented candles that burned too fast and gave me headaches caused curiosity. I decided to research how to make non-toxic, highly-scented candles with natural wax. After a year of research and testing, SUITE SCENERY CANDLE COMPANY was created. Each soy candle I make is evidence of God’s redeeming power. He can restore anything and anyone.

Now, not all candles are created equal. Some candles can actually be harmful to your health. Did you know most retail store candles are synthetically made with crude oil and gasoline by-products? Yes. Those candles are usually made cheaply; therefore, they burn a lot quicker than natural soy wax candles. Here are four benefits of burning soy candles from Suite Scenery Candle Co. 1. Memory - Good memories and emotions can easily be triggered by certain scents and provide a feeling of happiness if it coincides with a particular time in your life. Our sense of smell is strongly tied with memory, so we often associate a specific scent with a moment or memory. One of the joys of selling candles is when our customers share memories as they smell our fragrances.

2. Self-care - The next time you’re feeling a little down and want to instantly lift your mood, try a soy candle from Suite Scenery.

Studies show candles alleviate stress, tension and counteract depression. If you ever feel challenged by fear or feel overwhelmed, burning candles can help with that anxiety. Candles are also perfect for mental and physical rest. Replace your smartphone with a burning candle at night to achieve a comfortable and restful sleep.

3. Health - Everyone loves a home that smells good. Oil-based fragrances linger in your home longer and generate stronger scents to fill your space. Quality candles are crafted by excluding chemical dyes and toxins that may cause lung cancer, inflammation and trigger asthmatic episodes. Children and adults often suffer from allergies, and clean-burning soy candles will prevent you from breathing in harsh chemicals and inhaling carcinogenic fumes. Keep your home harmless as you maintain a healthy lifestyle.

4. Focus - There are certain scents that can stimulate your mind. Aromas like mint, rose, jasmine, vanilla, lemon, orange, rosemary, and cinnamon can provoke your senses and give you that extra boost you need. Our soy candles are crafted with premium fragrances and essential oils blended perfectly for your desired experience.

As a candlemaker, my ultimate desires are to grow Suite Scenery Candles into a household name; Educate others on the wellness benefits of quality soy candles over toxic, dye-filled gasoline by-products; Provide quality careers and employment for women of color, and Fill your home with the same comfort and happiness I have since being restored. I appreciate you stopping by, following, engaging, and keeping our candles in your home!

“Life Is a Journey, Enjoy The Scenery“ Meon Horne| Founder

W W W . S U I T E S C E N E R Y C A N D L E S . C O M

I’MWORTH ! it A F F I R M A T I O N S

F O R

I might not dot every I and cross every T,

But I give my complete self every time I try!

I’m worth taking a well needed rest from keeping a clean house.

I’m worth going to the store and sitting in the parking lot for an hour for some peace and quiet.

I’m worth a few things out of place because I wanted to lay down on the couch and take a nap.

Referring the kids to the other adult? Yes, I’m worth it.

It’s okay if things are out of place, questions unanswered, cereal for dinner, laundry not completed, kitchen a little messy, and bedrooms out of sorts.

I’m worth taking a moment for Me! The more I value my worth, the more I'm worth to those I love!!!

I’m worth it!!

T H E

K I N G D O M

M O M

SHALENA DUDLEY EDITOR & CHIEF

JEWELL JONES

DEVONNA UPSHAW

#CONTRIBUTORS

TAMEEKA NELSON

MEON HORNE

TENISHA KYLER

APOSTLE CASSANDRA BUNKLEY

TERESA SMITH

VOTE 20 20

SUITE SCENERY CANDLE CO.

scenery life is short...

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