Be Brave Magazine #4

Nov 2023

MAGAZINE

NEVER. GIVE. i

Sirena

No. 4 w w w . B E B R A V E M A G A Z I N E . c o m

UP.

Credits

Faculty: Kijana Crues - Publisher/Designer/ Editor/ Director of Editorial

Writers: Kijana Crues- Interview writer/ Editor

Photography: Kijana Crues- Lead Photographer *Photographer for all features in Rochester, NY Tonya Tompson- Submitted photos.

Stock photos from Pixabay.com

Graphic Design: Kijana Crues- Director of Graphic Design Graphic Designer

Artist From Gallery: KB Kreative Artistry

If you’d like to sponsor Kijana Crues Imaging, LLC and Be Brave Magazine, Contact Us! BeBraveMagazine@gmail.com All featured stories were written by the warriors being featured.

All stories edited by Kijana Crues with Kijana Crues Imaging, LLC.

Copyright © 2023 By Kijana Crues Be Brave Magazine is a magazine owned and created by Kijana Crues Imaging, LLC 4

Letter From The Editor Welcome to the 2nd issue of Be Brave Magazine! Be Brave Magazine is an online magazine that spotlights everyday people, warriors, that pushed through life’s struggles and refused to be stopped. These are articles and stories of warriors sharing about their triumphs through adversity, sharing advice for those that need it, and are all showing the importance of having Faith and never giving up.

After a whole year of putting things in order it’s finally here! The journey was long and hard but I pushed forward and continued to listen to the Lord. God put this project on my heart to complete. So I HAD to keep pushing... no matter what and be obedient.

I’ve been through a lot in my life. From a massive weight loss journey beginning 2014, resulting in losing over 270 lbs... and my getting “healthy”... to then finding out I had Stage 4 NH Lymphonma Cancer in 2018. I found myself in a position of having to fight for my life... and even more later. I know all too well about the importance in valuing every day like its your last, because anything can happen. Since battling and BEATING cancer and becoming cancer-free, I’ve made it a priority to go after everything I’ve ever wanted or dreamed of. Time to make pipe dreams a reality. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. I’ve also made it a priority to use my life as an example to others... to hopefully inspire them to keep pushing too! Know that you too can achieve whatever You put your minds and actions to.

This magazine is about just that! People sharing their stories so that others can relate and get through their struggles as well! These warriors talk about the real parts of life that are sometimes swept under the rug and/or are hard to talk about. They give real advice meant to truly help you get through your life and get to your goals.

Also this magazine has an amazing Art Gallery section that showcases amazing artists from all over the United States. If you are an artist and you want the opportunity to share you talents on this platform contact the magazine!

Be Brave Magazine is continuing to build its team. If you are interested in joining the team and feel you have a skill that could help push the magazine... contact us!

Lastly... No, This isn’t a “Christian Magazine” but it IS A CHRISTIAN’S magazine. So I always have to give reverence and praise to the Lord.

Its because of Him that I am here today!

Thanks to everyone that contributed in this first issue. You all are truly appreciated and loved!

With Love, Kijana Crues Magazine Creator/ Editor/ Graphic Designer/

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Table Of Contents

4 Credits 5

Letter From The Editor

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Make Dreams Happen:

People who fight to achieve their Dreams. Featuring: Goddesstry from Rochester, NY.

12 What is Faith:

Kijana Crues poses the question “What Is Faith?” She talks about what it means to have faith in God.

16 Cover Story:

Brave and proactive activist Serina Cotton talks about her journey of healing after her son was killed. She talks about her organization.

Shanukah Roberts talks about her journey to self love and acceptence.

She shares how modeling makes her feel brave! Comedian Tina Marie 2.0 shares about her journey through addiction and how she is empowered by comedy.

Keeping Faith:

Tonya Thompson talks about her journey living with MS, and how she is staying strong!

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For The Love Of Art:

A place to appreciate art of all kinds from photography, to paintings, to fashion designs... and the list goes on! This is a place to truly appreciate each others amazing talents and unique creations!

Featured Rochester Artists: KB Kreative Artistry.

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Table Of Contents

Lights, Camera, Action:

Goddesstry Rochester, New York

Make Dreams Happen Hello divine ones! I’m Goddesstry. I’m a Neo-Soul based singer, songwriter and content creator that was born and raised in Rochester, NY. My music is inspired by the sounds of Jill Scott, Cleo Sol, Raveena, India Arie, Erykah Badu, and different aspects of nature. I also create my own promo videos, flyers, clothing and I’m in the process of building my home recording studio. I feel like everyone has something they’re obsessed with and music was it for me.

Growing up, I watched Beyonce and Michael interviews and behind the scenes footage like they were movies and I still do.

When I really want something, I’ll study it to know what it takes to attain and maintain it. Everything I saw in music, I desired. Fellowship with team members and bandmates, long rehearsals, sound checks, styling, hours on a set for a music video. Once I got to experience some of these things I knew it was for me because I fell in love with the process.

I started my journey in music, as a little girl in church and school choirs and classmates always asking me to sing during lunch breaks. As much as I loved to sing, I struggled with taking the stage fullstorm, on my own. I always knew I wanted to do it, but the idea of being up so high in front of everyone was terrifying to me! But even my fear couldn’t keep me from it. I would get assigned solos and push through and I was always told I had a great stage presence.

Then I realized I was actually good at it, not only was I good at it, but it felt good.

As an artist, validation isn’t something you should seek, but it’s worth paying attention to when it’s received in multiple spaces. It shows you that you’re talented. This also

makes you realize all that you’re capable of.

There have been times I was denied opportunities or I felt overlooked, so I’d create the opportunity for myself. I came up with my own questions and recorded my own interviews, got my own equipment and did live performances outdoors and took all my photos with the phone I had. Opportunity and space is as abundant as you allow it to be, and only God can truly hold space for, because the source knows how big your mission is.

Music became very spiritual for me. It was how I became one and present with my breath. It allowed me to tell my story and held space for me in a way that humans didn’t. It also allowed room for expression about my love for nature.

In 2020, I joined a band as backup singer, with a solo act and well known duo by the name of Luna Soulchild. That came to an end due to the solo act’s relocation in pursuit of her career. I took it as a sign. Around this time, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. I knew I was on the right path, because it made me go harder. Some time after, I joined a team of talented and gifted musicians called The Singers Circle.

It was very short lived, but for the first time I had a solo act with a band and it felt so good.

I knew I had to be one of the warrior queens in the business that went after her dreams. The pregnancy also gave me a push because I wanted to raise my daughter to see and know that she can have whatever her heart desires. She’s my angel, I really believe she was sent to put that fire in me.

After I knew I’d become a mom, I was no longer afraid to take center stage. So often women are told that once we have children, it’s over. Your life is not your own and you

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can’t hold space for your dreams. There have been delays but I always get the job done!

I released my first single “Earth Cry” in February of 2023.

I had held onto its release for a year, but the time presented itself. Earth Cry was brought to me, while I was writing at one of my favorite spaces known as Highland park. I was so deeply moved by all the dishonor our home endures, yet she still nurtures us. There is not a lot of music that creates space for concepts like that and I wanted to create something funky, sensual and that was ultimately a vibe.

This made me intentional about choosing my artist name.

Being a goddess, for every woman is art. There are so many expressions of a goddess and I want people to look at me and know that there is not a box. It’s literally the art of me and the world that I create for myself. We live in a world that plays on instant gratification and escapism. My mission in music is to inspire grounding and presentness all while creating a life that embraces how mystic life can really be.

One of the things that kept me going throughout the years was a talk I had with a family member. I felt very defeated at the time and like I was being stopped from reaching my goal.

They said to me, “When you love something with all your heart, can’t nothing and nobody keep you from it.” I knew this to be true, because I remembered all the moments, after school I’d have a few hours to myself. I would sneak my mothers heels out of the closet, put on Destiny’s Child’s videos and sing and copy their every move with a Febreeze bottle at hand, as if it were a microphone.

I watched the evolution and discipline of the artists I love and my spirit was okay with facing all the adversities that came from what they had. The bitter and the sweet. I’m grateful, because I can now share my story with people out there like me, or who are unsure of themselves. They can learn that it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s also okay to not know what you want to do at the moment. We should always do our best to be in flow and surrender with spirit’s plan for our lives.

I also want people to be inspired by my diversity and to know that the human form is not limited. As long as your alive and well, its always another day to reinvent yourself and do something different. Show up as your highest and most authentic self because that’s what the universe responds to.

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What Is Faith?

What Is Faith?

Written by: Kijana Crues

Rochester, New York

In this world where so many people are hurting, i keep hearing people tell me that things feel so bad, they aren’t sure God exists anymore. Many of you feel this way now. But my question to you is this: did you ever really truly believe in Him? What was your reason when you did? Was it something He did for you? Because He has done a LOT for us even when we don’t recognize it. He woke you up today didnt He? You still have His breath of life in your lungs. Think about it for a moment honestly.

worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.

Here is a question I pose for you: What is Faith?

Matthew 17:17- 21 (KJV) says: 17 “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?

Bring the boy here to me.” 18 Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed at that moment.

No, stop... Not what is Faith to YOU... what exactly is the definition of Faith. Let’s break it down. (Because society is quick to change a definition to what we feel at that moment) Webster’s dictionary says: “2. A (1): Believe and trust in and loyalty to God. (2): Believe in the traditional doctrines of a religion.

B (1): Firm belief in something for which there is no proof.

(2) Complete Trust” The Bible says that: Hebrews 11:1 (KJV)

But what does that really mean?

When we have faith, we are choosing to believe in what we are NOT SEEING YET in the physical realm. It means knowing and believing that things will work out in our good in the end even if it doesn’t look or feel like it at that moment in time.

19 Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” [21] [a]

We can’t expect things to work out if we 11 Now faith is the substance of things don’t believe they will work out. How can hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. you expect a result from something that you dont believe in? Think about the logic of 2 For by it the elders obtained a good report. that. Makes no sense right?

3 Through faith we understand that the

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Most of the WORLD can accept and believe

in having faith in SELF, positive thinking, willing positivity and using meditation to help manifest what they desire in life.

Most of the WORLD feel deep inside that if we believe hard enough, and put the work in, we can achieve and manifest what we need and want. All important things as well... But many of the world call it reaching out to the Universe. So many people are willing to believe in the Universe to serve them and believe it is alive, but can’t accept that God is alive, that He created the universe. That the heart beat and intelligence they are sensing in the universe IS that of God. They recognize his power, but refuse to give Him credit for it. it is God’s power that runs the universe and makes the gears turn. That it is Him that powers our very bodies. Flows through our very cells making them work. It’s the same with faith. Rather than recognize that God fixed a situation for their good in the end, the world tries to make excuses, or takes credit for themselves and give the rest to “luck”. Anything to not acknowledge Gods hand in the situation.

Believing in God means TRUSTING Him. It means trusting that He is going to take care of you even when things are hard. And for things to be “hard”, it would mean that things feel like they are going extremely badly for you... right? So how can we say we ever believed in Him if we give up on Him the second things go south?! That means that you don’t believe He will see you through the uncomfortable situations.

We seem to have things backwards. We tell God to prove He exists contantly... and when He does repeatedly prove it... then what? We dont even acknowledge it. We keep walking and we act like it never even happened... better yet, we have the nerve to take credit for it ourselves, then cry the next time and say, “You’re never here! Where are

you? You must not exist.”

Yes, we have it wrong. Some people dont want him to exist, because then they’d feel justified in their own self pity and anger. It should be us proving our loyalty to Him in the end... not ther way around. We already got proof. Stop and beathe for a sec... that’s your proof.

Many of you feel as if God isn’t hearing your prayers because He hasn’t answered them YET. And I Emphasize the word “yet”. Many of us have felt forgotten, so we questioned even His existence. When we do that we are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. God didn’t give up on you...

YOU gave up on Him. Yet He’s still riding for you and helping you even through that.

No, I’m not excluded in questioning God’s reasons for why certain things hadn’t happened when I wanted or expected them to.

I’m very quick to ask him personally “why”.

But then it becomes time to be in “Listening Mode”. Thats the time for me to shut up, stop talking back to God (bc that’s what ultimately fighting His will is), and SUBMIT TO BEING OBEDIENT TO HIM. There’s that word that stings so many people... makes so many suck on their teeth.

Submit. The question of why should I submit to ANYONE? A question that exposes the pride of humanity. I’ve heard many ppl say this. Many of us can even fathom submitting in a relationship more than with God. But we aren’t just submitting to anyone, its to GOD Himself. If He literally blew breath into your lungs giving you life, how could you not?! How could WE not.

That’s my logical response. If you actually realize that He is real, and that He has a hand in things going good in your life...

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if you actually know He created you, how can you not give Him praise? Even in the rough of it (and I’m speaking from experience)... there’s a comfort in knowing that God is with me no matter what. When God is in your life, and you are submitting to His will, you are playing on a different game field as the rest of the world. A different game board. We dress up in the full armor of God and tackle the problem in the spiritual realm. Getting to the real true root of the problem.

Truly knowing God is filling your spirit with The Word of God. Knowing Him is knowing His love so deeply that you can walk into a rough situation and know that even though things are hard, it’s going to work out... Why? because again... you are on a different playing field. Also, because God promises in the Bible that He will not give us more than we can handle. The part of the challenge that’s too much to bare, He is willing to take that from us... if we are willing to let go of it. If only we truly wanted to let the reins go. He would gladly pick them up.

Many of us have the nerve to try to put a timer on God. Many of us believe that if He loves us, He’d help us in our timing, or would do things in the way we want them to be done.

No that’s our own human narcissistic need to be in control of everything. Our way of putting everything into a box that we want control of when we aren’t the ones in control. God is. Your problems may be a result of wrestling God for control. God always answers our prayer... in His time, and with HIS answer.

Also, Many of us have received His answer.

The answer was NO. Are we going to turntail and have a tantrum bc we didn’t get our

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way... or are we going to go to Him, submit genuinely and ask “why”? then listen to His answer. Some of you won’t accept His answer of no, and would rather decide he turned his back... when all they need to do is go to Him and ask Him: “Why?” If you are genuinely truly open to listening to Him, you may be very surprised. It was for you good in the end. And if you had just followed His plan from the beginning, it may never have gotten as bad as it did.

That time that we spend occupying the ideas that He might not be there, is the time that defines faith when we exercise it.

What is having faith if nothing stressful is happening in your life. What is Faith, unless the future has questions? That’s the time to show it. Or it means literally nothing. If you can’t exercise it in the heat of it, then where is your faith?

Before you give up on God, remember that He has never, and will never give up on you. You are never alone. So believe and have faith in that.

Sirena Cotton Rochester, New York

Cover Story Kijana: Can you tell me about your organization?

And what it is that you do for the organization?

Sirena: So ROC The Peace started... Actually, July will be 15 years. It started as a birthday party for my son who was killed, Christopher Jones. He was killed November of 2007.

By the time the party in the park came, I noticed there were a lot of victims of violence.

So, Instead of it being a party just for him, It ended up being a peace fest for Victims of violence.

Since then, we’ve started programs... One which is also a ministry Within my church, First Genesis Baptist Church. Its called Youth for peace: A Youth mentoring program for youth that lost siblings and parents to violence, suicide, and prison.

We also started a program: “Why my baby?”

For parents and grandparents Who also lost their children to violence, Homicide, Suicide, And prison.

We have initiatives like the #Coldcasefilesofroc, where we go out with families who have unsolved cases to see where the person was murdered, knock on doors, pass out fliers and resources and things like that, and try to get help for these unsolved cases. We hold a national event which is on September 25th each year.

“Rock The Peace” is the host of this national

event. It’s called “The national day of remembrance for murder victims”. Each summer, we do our safe summer initiative, from June until September, this year is going to be on each thursday, where we call it “walk talk and pray”.

So we meet at different locations in the city.

We break out into teams and walk the area with resources and knock on doors to see if families need something. They may need food or something like that. Then we end with prayer at the same location.

We do so many events, And then we work with different outreach organizations and partner with different organizations. We go out into the community and host events, walk the community, talk to children, and Deliver a non-violent culture.

Kijana: So what has it been like, After being through what you’ve been through; Meeting other people that have also gone through what you’ve gone through. How has that affected you and helped you?

Sirena: Well, it affected me in a way where You never know what someone is really going through. But when you meet folks That’s going through the same thing that you’re going through, It makes the process smoother. The pain never goes away, Of course.

This year is gonna be 16 years, In november, But I lost my baby. And I tell you it feels like it just happened. The pain, you

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know, holidays anniversaries, Stuff like that.

It brings back what happened. It brings back that pain. So when you’re with someone who’s going through what you’re going through, you can talk to that person. You know what to say to that person. You know what not to say. So... very helpful.

Kijana: So do you have any advice for those that have lost somebody to gun violence?

Sirena: I would say to reach out. Not everyone is in the same place. Some people want to just take down all the photos and act like it never happened. Or like the person ever existed. Some people, like me, want to keep my baby’s name alive. But what I tell people...

When you’re going through something, you have to find your place of peace. So it could be anything. It could be a color, it could be a bird, it could be a place. Whatever your place of peace... It could be a memory.

Whatever it is. When you feel like you can’t get through, or you are in a bad space, Take yourself to that place of peace. And it’s helpful. I use that when I’m talking to moms and stuff like that. They find it helpful. It don’t take away the pain, but it helps bring some piece to that moment.

Kijana: So what’s kept you from giving up, and kept you pushing forward?

Sirena: My baby. Chris was the youngest out of 4

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boys. But you know how the youngest is the oldest. He was laid back. He didn’t smoke. He didn’t drink. He didn’t hang out in the streets. He had a nine o’clock curfew. And with that, he was actually going blind. He was told two days before he passed He had eyes of a 82 yearold man. So when the Eye doctor came in and let him know how bad his eyes had gotten, I’m crying and crying like a baby... And I stopped and looked at him.

He was sitting up straight, He was tall. He looked at the doctor and said, “Well, Doc, so what’s next? Am I going to go all the way blind? Am I going to have surgery?

Just let me know so I’ll be prepared. And just looking at him And seeing the man, the child man that he was. It stopped me from crying. I’m like look at my baby.

It’s bothering him, but not really. So at times i take myself back to that. The type of person that Chris was. And so many people loved him. Like today, people are still reaching out regarding him. You know, Reaching out because they miss him... Almost 16 years later. My baby is what gives me strength to keep moving on because I know that he was here and he died for a reason for me to be out here.

I’m legally blind now. I had an eye stroke and I’m going blind. I have his vision when he died. When I’m feeling down, it takes me back to that moment... to my baby. And it makes me empowered.

Kijana: That’s beautiful. I’m sorry that happened, but it’s beautiful to be able to look at the situation and be able to gain strength from it.

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So, were there any significant people in your life that helped you to get through?

Anyone that helps to push his memory and the organization?

Sirena: So my strength comes from my son that’s above him. His name is Darius. And they were closer in age, they were 2 years apart. And they were best friends. So I have 4 boys, The first set 2 years apart.

The second set 2 years apart. And the 2 in the middle are 4 years apart. So they were their own best friends. So when Chris passed, we held each other up. We bonded. Since then, with my “Rock the peace” organization, I have a team. And there were plenty of people leading up to the team that I have now. The team I have now are like family and they’ve been volunteering all these years. And just the passion from them! There’s moms that lost their children. There’s folks on the team that lost family members. There’s folks on the team that haven’t lost anyone, but they’re still so passionate about this work. So, we hold each other up. I have 1 person on my team right now that is battling cancer, and you couldn’t tell because she does so much. I love her. She is my vice president. By each individual on my team, a team of 10, Each individual is so precious, Especially in their own way. With all that they do.

Kijana: What can the readers learn from your journey?

Sirena: Let’s see...

1. Never give up. No matter what you are going through.

I’ve lost several people in this journey. I loss my eyesight in this journey, and it started with losing my baby. You know everyone deals with it different, so.

But from what I can say is I’ll never give up.

I will never let his name die. And I just won’t give up. You know, I took my pain and made it into power.

I even went to visit his killer.

Kijana: Wow! How was that experience?

Sirena: It was interesting. So... He reached out and ask someone to ask if I could come visit him.

So I had to get permission of course from the state, to make sure I wasn’t coming in to do him some harm. So I got the permission. I went to visit him. The guards, they were on point knowing that I was there to visit him.

And it was so interesting because the guard at the door, where we sign in, He said “ I couldn’t do this if I were you.”

And I said “why?”

And he told me with tears in his eyes, He has daughters, but they were molested. The person is in jail, but he couldn’t face them.

Then when I got upstairs to the visiting room,

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A warden or something, he Asked “why are you here?”

And I told him the story of Chris: with his eyes, and the eye doctor. And that its what gives me strength and the fact that his inmate asked me to come... So of course i’m gonna come.

In the midst of the visit, he asked me to come to apologize. So it took an argument when we first sat down. Because he was still lying about what happened. This happened right across the street from my home, right before Chris’ curfew. I was running across the street so I saw my baby’s face the moment he was shot. So he tried to lie about what happened. And I said you know, both of us were there. And you can’t lie.

Finally, he did this fake apology. It didn’t even sound sincere. I didn’t feel it. And then the next breath, he asked me to help him get out of prison. So at that point, it’s like... Did you ask me to come to apologize? Or are you asking me to help you get out? I’m not gonna help you get out.

And I said when I get up and walk away, That’s it, I’m never turning back around.

Don’t ever reach out to me. That was the end of that. But when I left, I felt so peaceful. Because you know when this happens to people, people want to know why. And I got the opportunity to sit with this killer. And I felt peaceful after I left. Because even though he was 16 when it happened, It was ten years later. So now hes 26. He was still that 16 year old boy. So I don’t know whether to feel sorry for him, or whether to tell him to kick rocks. So it was interesting to see, had he thought about it, he wouldn’t have shot Chris, because he wasn’t about that life.

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Kijana: But that shows so much also about how strong you are as a person. You know... in how you are working to get through this.

It’s a powerful thing that you were able to face him. That says so much.

Sirena: Yes, that’s me. People say I’m strong.

I don’t see it as strong. I see it as living through my baby. And he was the one that was strong. So I get my strength from him.

Kijana: But that’s what usually strong people say.

They say that they feel weak. I think It’s not fear itself that’s bad, its that We cant allow it to control us...

It’s good that you’re getting your strength from him, And I personally say from God as well, And that you’re being blessed...

That’s awesome, it shows how strong you are.

Sirena: Well, Faith over fears how I live. That’s what our organization goes by Is peace begins with me. So you have to have peace within yourself In order to show peace.

You don’t let anyone steal your peace, Because it begins with you.

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Photography PhotographySubmitted SubmittedBy: By: Britny David Horton A. Jackson

Make Dreams Happen

Shanukah Roberts Rochester, NY

My name Shanukah Roberts. I’m 35 years old. I reside upstate NY. I am model and upcoming actor who suffers from severe depression and anxiety. Modeling and acting actually make feel good about myself it allows me to be someone who is happy and full of life it allows me to forget about the depression and anxiety for that moment and live free. Living with this has its many challenges I always wanted to be a model as kid and even into my adult years. Anxiety stopped me from starting modeling early bc it made me think and feel I wasn’t worthy of modeling or I wouldn’t be successful with modeling so I gave up although modeling agency’s, random people continued to encourage me to become a model bc I had the look, skills etc what it took be a model. Eventually I had my daughter 2018 and also started building my relationship with God. The more I learned about God and his word the more I loved myself, the more I became brave and that’s why as of June 2023 I officially am signed to John Casablancas acting and modeling school. I would say modeling makes me feel brave bc it allows me to show me for who I really the raw uncut version of myself, but in the same sense it allows me to hide my insecurities and scars that depression left it almost makes

me feel like I’m not that depressed woman I’m not that woman who deals with anxiety.

I’m just me ! I’m Happy , I’m BRAVE, I’m secure with myself. I feel unstoppable! I’m accomplishing something as well as doing something I love. I been in customer service for over 15 and it’s a challenge helping customers everyday with problems when sometimes I don’t even know how to help myself it’s hard for me to tell other people everything will be okay or find a resolution to their problems when I struggle but modeling it’s not like that.

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Tina Marie 2.0 Rochester, New York

My name is Tina Marie 2.0; however, I was born by the name of Catina Barmes and now Catina Mcntyre after 25 1/2 years of marriage. I am 50 years old with 2 sons (Jamarie McIntyre (23) & (Craig Hawkins Jr. (32), 3 wonderful granddaughters; Charlii Hawkins (7), Camryn Hawkin (5) and Corii Hawkins (2mths) and another on the way.

After years of always being a spectator, I decided that I wanted to be a part of making and creating the moments of joy in this life.

I wanted to be a part of the action, because I knew that I have something special to share with the world. While still continually working on me, I knew that I needed more in my life. I needed excitement, laughter and peace and most of all some JOY. Laughing with and for others really brings me joy as I try to keep others mentally stimulated with my comedy, silly remarks and the crazy Gemini expressions that always seem to come shining right through.

My journey to comedy has come from a long life of survival, faith and a whole lot of inner strength. My life journey, struggles and all of its joys have compiled over the years to finally become a beautiful mess. I enjoy making others smile and laugh and over the years I have done just that successfully with folks from all walks of life. I enjoy line dancing and performing on stage for anyone. Sometimes GOD will give you gifts that you are not aware that you even

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have, but the world can always see what we CAN NOT. I have not always been in this happy space, as I survived a 8 year addiction to drugs with multiple stays in Monroe County Jail and different prisons and boot camps. But through GOD, faith and a lot of prayers here I stand with my feet planted on the ground and ready to continue with the wonderful thing called life. I have been clean from drugs since God set me free September 1996 and my life has been successful and prosperous every since. I obtained my Associates Degree in Business Administration and was able to land multiple jobs in the business world. I have been the Executive Assistant for many large companies, including, RG&E, Bausch and Lomb, Strong Hospital, Highland Hospital and Regional Transit Service. I was raised by my great aunt and her spouse due to my mother being disabled and confined to a wheelchair at the tender age of 27. My childhood was always surrounded with love even through all of the dysfunction..I was an only child with 21 cousin siblings.

Even after all of the years of self destruction in my life, God still chose to let me keep my mental, physical and emotional gifts all intact. I feel that I am at an age in my life where I can only continue to shine like a Diamond. I continue to deal with life’s struggles; however, now I have found a much better way to deal with these chal-

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lenges..... ITS CALLED PRAYER! Making others laugh and having the ability to get another person out of their own head is a gift that I plan to share with the world. I enjoy being around lively people with good energy. I have come to appreciate every day that I have because they are not promised to any of us. I am currently in the process of writing a book about my life called “I CAN & I WILL. Every day I find new things about life to smile about just because...

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Keeping Faith

Tonya Thompson Rochester, New York

dance continued as extra-curricular activities. I participated in the Black Student Union dance group entitled Radiance. I later took that name and started a dance group at James Madison School of Excellence. I was also a member and leader in the National Association of Black Engineers (NSBE). I changed majors because I was tired of reWho was Tonya Dickens? I was a young mo- ceiving low grades. I graduated with an tivated girl who believed education was her Integrated Science degree. The University was offering black graduates a Master’s in way to a better life. I was born in Newark, education or school counseling at the time.

New Jersey and lived there until 2nd grade.

My mom then moved to Plainfield, NJ. As a My choices were limited so I went for the Master’s in school counseling and didn’t young girl, my mother put me her in Marie look back.

Wiley dance school in East Orange, NJ and Ms. Scott charm school in Plainfield, NJ. I Moving on, I did not go to college to fall in enjoyed modeling, singing and dancing all through my former education. I did and en- love but I did. Immediately upon graduajoyed everything from playing Gretel in the tion, I married the love of my life. We start6th grade play to competing in backgammon. ed having children one year later. By then I had also secured a job as a school counselor I loved school. I was very proud to win the with the district.

3rd grade spelling bee and to win the backgammon championship for my age level in I am now a certified school counselor now Plainfield. for 30 years. It was a great career to have with children I thought because of the vaYes, my young life in Plainfield looked cations and breaks. I was moving into the promising. I made the high school band next level of my professional career when baton twirling team just before I moved to a past medical diagnosis really became evupstate New York. I disappeared from the ident. I was attending SUNY Brockport to friends I knew from 3rd grade. It was a definally get my admin certification which did pressing move for me. Nevertheless, I managed to adjust to the new world I was in. No not require much. I finally wanted to be an administrator of some type. My friends had longer did I see black people in the mainstream. I was to finish my education in a ma- already moved to that level while I was just jority white system, Binghamton, New York. not interested at the time.

My name is Tonya Ann Clark Thompson.

I’ve never been called all of that. However, that is my full legal name right now. I simply go by Tonya Thompson because all three of my children are named Thompson. I have been Tonya Ann Dickens for all my young life.

In college, my interest in modeling and

34 32

For The Love Of Art

The diagnosis was Multiple Sclerosis. I was diagnosed in 2004 but I knew nothing. I refused the medicine offered at the time because I thought it was crazy. I did not want to give myself a shot with a needle once, twice a week and definitely not everyday. I was symptom free for about 3 years. Then symptoms resurfaced such as spasms in my arm and pins and needles in my hand and foot. I was also struggling in my marriage.

We finally went to a new Dr., The right doctor. This Dr. scared me into action by telling me about the progression of MS. However, I was pregnant and could not take the medication available.

The disease was sort of in remission while pregnant. After I delivered, I started on one MS medication to the next to deal with symptoms. During the three years I was symptom free, the disease had silently progressed in my system. Symptoms came with the stress of my life as a professional working woman, mother of three, inside an unhappy marriage. Stress is what triggered the disease in my system in 2004. I later learned that my father had MS. Who knew? He spent the end of his life prostrate in the bed with no quality of life. His wife took care of him which I thought was beautiful.

Anyhow, now that I had my third child to look after, plans for leveling up in my profession went out the window. Nevertheless, I finished the SUNY Brockport program.

Fighting this disease became my mission in my 40’s. However, so many things happened particularly in 2013. We had a house fire which was really a blessing in disguise. No one was hurt. My husband decided he wanted a divorce which put me in depression and disbelief. It left me feeling unwanted and like a failure. My job also became a problem, it was all terrible. Nevertheless, I must say by the grace of God I made it through it all.

There were also good things happening in my 40’s. I was blessed to go to the motherland during the year of return, 2019. It was a wonderful experience that I am so happy I did not allow my physical condition to hold me back from. I first thought “no way” but the leader of the trip was very convincing. When I arrived in Ghana, I was supported right away. The men lifted me when necessary. I was also assigned an aid who helped me from morning to evening. She was a delight. I met many wonderful people. It was a defining experience. I literally felt the ancestors saying welcome home from the sound of the ocean.

Now as a single mother back in the states, I made sure to join groups to become connected and pursue my interests. AKOMA, an African America female choir was very important. The sound that we made singing together and under the direction of Gloria Brooks was magnificent. It kept a smile on my face and in my heart.

I also became a member of Black Woman Leadership Forum (BWLF). Learning about internalized racism and discussing it amongst honest and open women of all ages was very empowering and uplifting to me personally.

Right now, my body is really trying to shut down but I will not allow it. I get up everyday and make it move. I pray for strength and thank God for what I can do.

I am a MS warrior who fights everyday to just get out the bed. My children are fighting with me. They support me in any way they can. My love for them and the desire to play with my future grandchildren keep me going. I was born with a fighting spirit so that pulls me through a lot combined with my faith in God. My mom was

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near on the phone and one or two friends for encouragement.

My help certainly come from the Lord. In the past, gospel music kept me motivated and encouraged me when no one was around. Music by Fred Hammond such as “Please don’t pass me by” and “Yes he will” comforted me. Any song that man sings is anointed and a blessing for me. I can say the same for Yolanda Adams. Songs such as “Even me” or “in the midst of it all” just sent me into a solo praise and worship session. Singing gospel was of great comfort to me and still is. Somehow, I stopped singing. Perhaps because I have not been in the choir at all which is different for me.

As long as I can remember, I have always been in a choir or singing group. I have also written several gospel songs which I pray will be heard, someday.

I strongly advise others to really appreciate every ability you have by thanking God as often as you can. Don’t hesitate to do something that has been put on your heart to do. Utilize your God given talents before you lose them. The cares of life can easily put you off course. Keep God’s word close in your heart and mind.

For now, MS has taken away the things I loved to do; dance, model, walk. Never give up because I’m not. I am a fairly healthy woman with this one major condition. I will live on believing I can do anything God will allow and be content with that. I am so grateful for the many wonderful people who have helped me along the way thus far. My journey with this disease is not over but I still believe it will be one day. In regards to MS, I strongly urge those who are newly diagnosed to start a medication to help modify the disease. Very important.

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For The Love Of Art

KB Kreative Artistry Rochester, NY

KB Kreative Artistry on: FB, IG, and TikTok Email: KBkreativeArtistry@gmail.com

Special Thanks First I thank my heavenly Father. Thank you Lord for guiding me to do this... and thank you for leading me every step of the way. I can do nothing without you.

Thank you to my mom for being with me throughout this whole journey. I love you so much. You believed in me and helped me in so many ways throughout the journey of getting this journey started.

Thank you to all the people who contributed to this project. To all the featured warriors who shared their stories, thank you for sharing such personal and meaningful experiences and being willing to share to help and inspire others to keep pushing forward. You truly are warriors. And I have so much respect for every last one of you.

Thank you to the artists that contributed their work to the magazine. Every last one of you are so amazing in your crafts and gifts.

Your art is so inspirational and touches so many people. Im honored to have you in Be Brave Magazine!

Thank you to Min. Robert Matthews for sponsoring the magazine, and thanks to everyone who paid for a promo ad. Your contributions help this magazine to be able to fund itself.

Thank You to my friends and family who were ears for me to talk to and shoulders to cry on when I had a hard time pushing through. You spoke life into me when I needed to hear it. Those of you who were truly there, please know that I love you so much. I truly appreciate you.

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