The childs lawyer

A CHILD'S SURVIVOR HANDBOOK ON DIVORCE

A PUBLICATION FROM KIDS FIRST PARENTS SECOND "THE

CHILD’S LAWYER "

A SURVIVORS GUIDE FOR KIDS OF DIVORCE 1

Dear Kids, I am an attorney for children in divorce cases. Not every child needs an attorney in divorce. Some children need attorneys when their parents can’t get along and need to take their case before a judge.

Divorce didn’t affect just your parents, it affected you too. It’s hard to handle your problems when all you hear about is your parent’s problems.

This book was written to find your own happiness and your own purpose after your families divorce.

Sincerely from, The child’s lawyer

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COMMON MYTHS AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS You Had Nothing To Do With Your Parents Divorce!

Statistically over 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

People divorce when they

are young and old. There can be many reasons for this. None in recorded history ever had was caused by a child. Some parents divorce because they married before they truly got to know one another. Some parents just simply grew apart.

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Many states grant divorces based solely on no-fault grounds. No-fault divorces are granted when the parties simply cannot maintain a relationship as husband and wife.

Judges grant divorces and order parents to divide assets. Divorce orders also contain provisions about how children are raised.

Parents divorce when their children are infants, toddlers and preteens. Parents divorce when their children are teenagers or adults.

There is no rhyme or reason to

divorce. It can be a horrible bitter experience for parents. It can be a worse experience for you kids.

Mistake #1 in divorce is believing that you had any control over your parents actions.

You didn’t cause your parents to divorce.

You had no control over the divorce

and you will have no control over how your parents choose to divorce.

You also have no

control over how your parents will act during the divorce.

Other popular myths that you need to STOP believing in: 1. Divorce means that you will no longer see Mom or Dad 2. Divorce means that you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO CHOOSE where you want to live.

3.

Divorce means that you will lose your friends

4. Divorce means that you will stop being able to play sports, do art or whatever else you do that makes you happy.

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Many Kids of divorce desperately need to find direction/control of their life during and after their parent’s divorce.

Tony Robbins, a famous motivational

speaker says that “You can’t always control the wind, but you can control your sails.”

You can always find a way get help and take control of your life NO

MATTER what your situation is!

You may think that’s hard to do because you are just a kid. Allow me to disagree with you. There are many things you can do for you that affect your environment. Let’s talk through some ideas to make this happen.

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Take Control I.

RULES OF RESPECT

You may not be in control of many things BUT everyone should follows certain rules: #1

Kids Shouldn’t Be Giving Their Parents Advice About the Divorce

#2.

Kids Shouldn’t have to hear the Reasons For the Divorce

#3.

Kids Shouldn’t have to hear bad things about either of their parents!

#4.

Kids are Not Messengers, Spies or Secret Agents

#5. Kids Shouldn’t be Questioned about what happens at Mom’s and Dad’s. #6. Kids Shouldn’t Feel Forced to Choose Who they want to live with. #8.

Parents should keep emails and court

documents out of plain sight. #8. Kids Should have the right to be a kid!

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YOUR RIGHT TO ASK QUESTIONS 1.

2.

How will I be affected by this divorce?

Do I get a say in how mom and dad share time with me?

3.

Are there going to be different rules for me to follow?

4.

What if its Dad’s weekend and I want to spend the weekend with Mom? What happens then?

5.

If I forget my clothes for school at moms, what do I do?

6.

Can I call Mom or Dad anytime I want?

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MAKE SURE YOUR RESPECTED There may be a time during or after your parent’s divorce that something is said or done that makes you unconformable. If you are in a situation like this I want you to do me a favor. I want you to say “I’m just a Kid.” That phrase means that I’m not comfortable with whats being said or whats being done. I’m just a kid means that you are asking your parents to STOP doing what they are doing. I’m just a kid reminds everyone to remember the Rules of the Road!

“I’M JUST A KID” 8

STAGE TWO FOCUS ON YOU!

I frequently ask kids, “So, What Do you want to do?” Many times these kids look at me with a puzzled look on their face. For many kids of divorce it’s easy to forget the answer to that question. Many kids focus on the needs, problems and concerns of their parents.

You have one childhood so you need to figure out make that childhood the most memorable one you want.

Your goals, your passions can change how your

childhood is lived.

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Finding a group activity might just be the thing for you. Finding kids with common interests, perhaps common problems. forward means moving ahead.

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Moving

Reading, the Music and the Arts is a Great way to reflect and express yourself.

Take an action that develops you, that nurtures you, that builds you!

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ALONG THE WAY

Find someone to talk to!

Ask Questions Get Ideas Think Outside the Box Listen to Other Kids Stories Think of Solutions to Your Problem 12

“I’m Just a Kid” MY RIGHTS IN YOUR DIVORCE….

You Parents Agree...

1.

I will not be placed in the middle of your divorce.

2.

That you will keep court papers out of my reach and site.

3.

I am not your messenger, secret agent or new best friend.

4.

That I have the right to love and be loved by both my parents.

MY RIGHTS IN YOUR DIVORCE….

I agree: 1.

That I did nothing to cause this divorce.

2.

That my parents problems are not my problems.

3.

That I’m just a kid. I have the right to be happy, play games and be free!

AGREED TO BE SIGNED BY: MOM DAD

ME

ANOTHER PUBLICATION TO HELP KIDS FROM KIDS FIRST PARENTS SECOND A 501C(3) NONPROFIT LOCATED IN SAN ANTONIO TEXAS WWW.KIDSFIRSTPARENTSSECOND.ORG