Kfps spinning wheel

KIDS FIRST PARENTS SECOND Curriculum for Children Ages 6-8.

The Wheel of Emotion Goes Round and Round.

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When your parents separate you will find that your emotions go round and round just like a spinning wheel.

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Who Should I Talk To? In our book “Little Fruit Phone Home” Little Fruit has the hardest time sharing how he’s feeling. Little Fruit misses his dad, and finds himself complaining about how bad his new life is now that his mom and dad live apart. Little Fruit hears the words coming out of his mouth and wonders what he’s really even thinking or feeling.

Little Fruit feels angry, and frustrated. Little Fruit is happy one day and mad the next. Little Fruit’s emotions go round and round and he feels lost, and mostly sad.

Little Fruit turns to the one person he can talk to, his Grandma Napple. Grandma Napple did not judge what Little Fruit had to say. Grandma Napple listened and listened. Little Fruit let it all out, all of his thoughts and feelings.

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Grandma Napple didn’t have many answers but she did know that it was important for Little Fruit to share how he was feeling. Grandma Napple knew what to do in the future to help Little Fruit deal with his problems.

Now Little Fruit was not the only child who had problems after his parents divorced. Many children don’t even know what they are thinking or feeling during this time. The important thing is to first find a “Napple,” someone that you can confide in and who will be there just for you.

Napples are found anywhere. Napples may be your Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt, Uncle or even a teacher. Napples can be a big sister or a next door neighbor.

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Who can you go to when you don’t know what to do? __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________

What do you think you want to say? How do you think they can help?

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________

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STOPPING A SPINNING WHEEL

Journals are fantastic ways to stop and ask yourself how you are feeling and what you are doing. If you want your journal to help you it’s a good idea to write often. If writing in your journal helps you through the day, write away.

The important thing is to remember to read your journal. You may find something about yourself that you did not know before.

You may also learn what exactly is making you feel a certain way.

Journals are private things, so keep them in a safe and quiet place!

Quiet Zones:

Everyone should have a quiet zone, a place

where they get to go, STOP, and clear their minds. Normally 6

people who can’t stop what they are doing never ever get a good grasp on how they are FEELING. So find a place just for you.

Some people’s quiet zones are on top of mountain tops or even in a museum.

Your quiet place can be your room, your backyard, so long as it’s a place that’s just for you. You may want to close your eyes. You may want to hear yourself breathe. This will help you clear your mind, which we should all do, often. Going to a quiet zone is always a great way to stop and find out how you are truly feeling and what has been on your mind.

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IDENTIFY SOME COLORS IN YOUR WHEEL……

RED:

ANGER FRUSTRATION

YELLOW:

WORRY FEAR

GREEN

SADNESS GRIEF 8

ANGER

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH ANGER?

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions one can have.

If you don’t figure out how to handle anger, it can also hurt you.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being ANGRY. You get angry when something happens to you, that hurt’s you.

You get angry when things happen to you that you have no control over, that you did not cause, or did not plan for.

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YELL, SCREAM AND SHOUT! Get your anger out, why don’t you yell, scream or shout!

Give yourself 30 seconds to air some anger out!

If your parent’s divorce made you angry, do one of the following: Write a letter to your parents, telling them exactly why you feel the way you do.

Draw a picture, how did your parent’s divorce affect you?

Talk in a group; let everyone in the group say one thing they are angry about.

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Mary is six years old and is angry about her Parent’s divorce.

Mary blames her Mom for the divorce. Mary does not talk about how she feels and keeps her anger inside. Mary doesn’t like hanging out with her friends anymore it’s just not the same. Mary no longer enjoys playing basketball and finds herself more by herself than ever.

Mary looked at herself at the mirror and then looked at a picture she took of herself a few months ago. Mary starts to cry and wonders what she can do to get back to the person she used to be. Mary dislikes her mom more and more, and blames her Mom for feelings she has.

Did it help for Mary not to tell anyone how she was feeling? ____________________________________________

How did anger hurt Mary? _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

If you were Mary’s friend, what would you tell her? _________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ 11

Letting Go of Anger Anger is powerful, anger is easy to hold onto. Many people never ever let go of the anger that they have. Keeping your anger or letting go of it is a choice you must make.

You have to weigh the benefits of keeping your anger with what you are losing BECAUSE of it.

So let’s write a list. Describe how you saw yourself BEFORE your parent’s divorce. What did you like to do?

1.

2.

3.

Now let’s move onto the second list. How do you see yourself now?

1.____________________________________________________ 2.____________________________________________________ 3.____________________________________________________ Do you miss the person you used to be?

What would you do now to change and go back to what you used to like doing?

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HELPFUL HINTS:

Checking your Feelings Journal: A journal is a great way to see how you’re feeling day to day. Write about your feelings and then look back and see if your feelings change over time. What does your journal say?

“TACKLING FUEL” In the movie the “Waterboy,” Bobby Bouchet uses his anger and becomes a great football player. Bobby was famous for controlling and focusing the emotion of anger when he needed it. How can you channel your anger into something positive?

ENROLL IN SPORTS! Your local community is filled with sports for you to choose from. Focus your energies on something positive by joining a soccer, baseball or football team today!

FIND SOMEONE TO TALK TO If you still need help and feel totally lost, let your parent’s know. A few talks with your school counselor or a therapist might be just the thing you need to sort things through.

Remember it’s always okay to get help from someone you trust!

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SADNESS/GRIEF WORRY Being sad makes sense.

Divorce isn’t a happy time.

What do you do about being sad?

When Life serves you lemons what do you do?

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There is a saying that when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What does that saying mean?

______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________

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So let’s talk lemons – what is making you sad?

How did you find out your parents were getting divorced?

Do you think that you are not going to see your Mom as much as you would like to after the divorce? _________________________ How about your Dad?

_________________________

Did you think you caused your parent’s divorce? ________________

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It’s My Fault!

Many kids feel that it is their fault that their parents have divorced.

That is NOT TRUE. That would ONLY be true if kids did something to cause a divorce. It’s time to talk about the rule of cause and effect.

Cause and Effect The word “cause” means a person or event that is responsible for a result.

The word “effect” is defined as a “result.”

So let’s go through some examples when someone made something happen.

1. Joey went outside and turned on the sprinkler to water the grass.

When Joey forgot to turn the sprinkler off the ground was totally soaked.

Why was the ground soaked? ` __________________________________________ Who was to blame for keeping the sprinkler on? ____________

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2. Joey went walking down the street in the middle of a hot summer day. Joey saw his best friend crying because her ice cream melted and fell onto the ground.

Why was Joey’s friend crying? ___________________________________________ Did the hot sun have something to do with the ice cream melting? __________________________________________

Did Joey cause his best friend to cry? ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

********************************************************** List what you think you did to cause your parent’s divorce. ____________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________

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Talk through your list.

__________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________

If you didn’t cause something to happen, you didn’t make it happen!

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Do You Really Think That You Caused Your Parent’s Divorce?

HERE ARE THE FACTS It is a sad fact but many moms and Dads get divorced.

The reason or the cause for many divorces is that Mom and Dad’s simply do not mix. The cause of the divorce was never you. Your mom and Dad love you. Your mom and Dad divorced each other because of the way they felt about each other, not because of you.

Can Mom and Dad ever get back together? Sure, there’s always something that you can think of and hope for. For right now, all you can worry about is how you are going to take care of you!

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MAKE SOME LEMONADE!

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Remember Good Times!

a. The best vacation that you and your family went on. b. The funniest thing your Dad ever did. c. The best time you ever had with your Mom! d. Make a collage of your favorite family moments PROJECT: MAKE A MEMORY BOX! All you need is a shoe box, favorite pictures of your Mom and Dad, some glue and some glitter. Keep your memory box under your bed or other safe place. Memory boxes are great places to keep your journal!

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CHANGE YOUR FOCUS!

When you are talking, think of something to do that makes you laugh. You can challenge your friend or grandma to a silly dance and see who makes who laugh! Video your dance and play it back and watch!

Do something silly!

Tell some funny jokes!

Challenge your Grandma to do her best silly Dance!

Make a monkey face, have someone take your picture!

Create New Memories Think of where and what you want to do? Make plans with Mom and Dad. Write a “to do list” and start taking pictures for your new photo album.

THINGS TO DO AT DAD’S

THING’S TO DO AT MOM’S

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So what are you going to do?

Promise Yourself AND SAY THESE WORDS……

I can help myself figure out how I feel. I know I might get lost from time to time. I know that if I stop and think I’m going to have a better chance of knowing what to do.

I’m going to find a quiet zone. I’m going to write in a journal. I’m going to find someone to talk to. I’m going to find something to do that’s just for me. Things may go up and down, but I know I’m going to be okay.

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THANKS FOR VISITING!

KIDS FIRST PARENTS SECOND Kids 6-8 “The Wheel of Emotion Goes Round and Round.”

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