Divorce boot camp questionairre

TRANSITIONS MEDIATION

POLLING AND QUESTIONAIRRE 2017

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DIVORCE BOOT CAMP ENGAGING THE PROCESS 1. Prior to engaging an attorney, what resources did you use to educate yourself about the divorce process? ______________ None ___________ Coparenting Website ______________ Website ___________ Kids First Parents Second ______________ Books ___________ Video/Youtube 2. What is your age (in range) ______________ 18-24

__________ 35-40

______________ 25-30

__________ 40-45

______________ 30-35

__________ 45 and beyond

3. List the Highest Education level achieved _________________ High School _________________ GED _________________ Trade School _________________ College _________________ Masters _________________ Doctorate 4. Did you and your spouse talk to your children about the divorce? _______________ Yes

________________ No

5. Are you paying /receiving support for your children based on an agreement you have with your spouse PRIOR it being ORDERED? ______________ Yes

_________________ No 2

6. Are the children able to go see either parent after the separation? ________________ Yes _____________________ My Lawyer said Not to Allow it

_________________ No ___________________________________ My Lawyer said to wait for the temporary hearing

7. After the divorce started, what is your ability to work with your children’s other parent, with 10 being the greatest and 1 being the all time lowest.

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8.

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3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Before you begin the process, how important is it to you to manage the direction in which the divorce is managed, with 10 being the greatest and 1 being the all time lowest.

1

2

3

4

5

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7

8

9

10

9. Before you begin the process, how important is it to you to keep your children away from the legal process, with 10 being the greatest and 1 being the all time lowest.

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2

3

4

5

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7

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9

10

10. Do you believe that you are prepared to make decisions about your divorce relating to your children, assets and debts? ______________ Yes ______________ No ______________ All is know is I gave money my attorney to do a job.

11. Do you believe that you are in need of resources to minimize conflict in your divorce? _______________ Yes _______________ No

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CONFLICT ASSESSMENT 12. How Important is it to you to interact with your ex after the divorce? _____________________ None at all

_______________________________ We need to talk about the Kids Needs

_____________________ I’ll follow the court orders That’s it 13. Did you and your spouse attempt marriage counseling PRIOR to the divorce being filed? ____________ Yes

_________ No

14. Did you see a psychologist, LMFT or LPC to receive individual counseling when you began the divorce process? ____________ Yes

_________ No

15. Do you believe that the problems facing you in your divorce is simply based upon the fact that your child’s other parent will not LISTEN to your position? __________ Yes

_____________ No

16. Do you believe that the problem facing you in your divorce is based on the fact that your child’s other parent does not UNDERSTAND your position? ___________ Yes

_____________ No

17. Do believe that the problem facing you in your divorce is based on the fact that you and your child’s other parent are not EDUCATED on the issues affecting your child? ___________ Yes

____________ No

18. With 10 being the best and 1 being the worst, what level of communication do you share with your child’s other parent?

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2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

4

10

19. When you were together, how did you and your spouse resolve your conflict? __________ __________ __________ __________

My ex would always be right Date Night We would talk until we resolved the problem We would go see a counselor

20. What are the factors that do not allow you to communicate with your ex? __________ Hurt Feelings (The Divorce) __________ Immaturity __________ Drug Usage __________ Mental Illness __________ Extended Family 21. Do you believe that your spouse is impaired, bi-polar or has other mental health issues that hinder your ability to communicate? ____________________ Yes

_________________ No

22. Do you believe that testing is necessary to determine if either spouse has a mental incapacity? ____________________ Yes

_________________ No

23. Do you believe that you and your spouse simply need the issues ASSESSED by a neutral mental health professional to resolve the issues facing your dispute? ___________________ Yes

_____________________ No

24. Do you believe that you and your spouse need EDUCATION/SPECIALTRAINING on how to communicate with one another? _____________________ Yes

_________________ No

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25. If your answer to question #3 was yes, please rate the level of training needed, with 10 being the most training needed and 1 being the least amount.

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2

3

4

5

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7

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10

26. Do you want your case being tried before a Family Law Judge? ___________

Yes

______________ No

27. If you believe that a court should ultimately rule on your case. What is your decision based on? ___________ Going to Court Will Give me My Most favorable outcome ___________ There is simply no other option, I can not communicate with my ex ___________ There’s simply no other option, our children are in danger ___________ That’s How Divorces are Handled, right? ___________ That’s my lawyer’s call, not mine.

28. What is your opinion of the legal system, positive or negative? ________ ________ ________ ________

Judges are there to protect our children Judges are there to listen to my case and my feelings I hope I won’t need a Judge I’m scared about taking my case to a Judge, I don’t know why we just can’t work a settlement and be done with it.

29. Collaboration by definition is a team based approach where everyone puts their ideas out there and through a collective process problems are solved. Do you think that you would benefit from a team based approach to the problems facing you in your divorce? __________ Yes

____________ No

30. Would you remove yourself from litigation for 60 days and work on the issues confronting your case to come up with an agreed divorce? ___________ ___________ ___________

Yes No Not Sure

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31. Psychologists are an independent resource that parents can use to solve problems confronting their children. Do you believe that involving a psychologist would be beneficial to solving the problems confronting you in your divorce? _____________ Yes

______________ No

32. If mental health professionals can help you and your ex to work together to solve problems facing your child, would that be beneficial to you? _______________ Yes

_______________ Not interested

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PICKING YOUR MEDIATION TYPE 33. Have you ever heard of Mediation? ________ Yes

________ No

34. If your answer was yes, do you know that there are different types of mediation? ________Yes

_________ No

35. Do you think mediation would help your case? _________________ Yes

_____________________ No

If you believe that mediation would be beneficial, please answer #36.

36. Evaluative Mediation is a process that allows you to determine who has the best POSITION prior to coming to court. Parties strengths and weaknesses are evaluated and agreements are reached based upon their legal case.

Problem Solving Mediation is a process that allows parents the opportunity to engage mental health professionals and the mediator to PROBLEM SOLVE their way through the divorce process.

Transformative Mediation is a process that allows parents the ability to communicate between themselves with the mediator. The mediation is directed by the parents who (we suggest) communicate through the mediator on skype or zoom. _______________ Evaluative

_____________ Problem Solving

_________________ Transformative

THIS QUESTIONAIRRE WAS PREPARED BY TRANSITIONS MEDIATION 2017

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