Issuu

Child Abuse Prevention Toolkit

Table of Contents Cover Letter

Page 1

Tiny Survival Guide

Page 2

Stress & Early Brain Growth: Understanding ACEs

Pages 3-4

Child Sexual Abuse: A Resource for Parents

Pages 5-6

Normal Sexual Development by Age

Pages 7-8

Protecting Your Kids Online 2.0 NetSmartz

Page 9

Social Media Safety for Teens

Page 10

Youthline

Page 11

Essential4Kids

Page 12

Internet Tips for Parents

Page 13

Dear Caregivers and Youth, On behalf of KIDS Center, Central Oregonâ€™s child advocacy center, we are excited to share this child abuse prevention toolkit with you! Our mission is to prevent, evaluate and treat child abuse. The foundation of this mission is supporting a community where all families grow up healthy and safe. We hope these resources provide opportunities for your family to learn together about child abuse prevention. Strengthening protective factors like open communication, body boundaries, and recognizing the signs of abuse is an important step to increasing your safety. All children and youth have the right to feel safe in their home and community, and as adults, itâ€™s our job to be informed and help keep kids safe. Although child abuse reports are down during the current COVID-19 pandemic, children are at higher risk of abuse due to significantly decreased contact of youth with mandated reporters such as teachers, medical providers, and other caring adults. We know that abuse can occur more frequently when the adults who care for them are experiencing heightened stress and uncertainty. We fear many children are experiencing abuse in silence during this time. It is all the more important for each of us to take action by increasing our awareness, having conversations with family and friends, checking in on fellow parents and youth that we know, reaching out for support if needed, and speaking up to save a child who may be at risk. Our team at KIDS Center is here to support your family and answer any questions about the information and resources contained in this toolkit. If we can be of service to you, please contact us at 541-383-5958 or online via our website at https://kidscenter.org/contact-us/

Sincerely,

Gil Levy, Executive Director, and our Prevention Team

Page 1

f>KOTf CT YOUR HO�NING� (or whenever ':jov.. woJ:e u.r] less cortisol, more intentiona.\it�

5\MPllfY

[ less is rriov-e]

be mindfu.l of decision fCAti�lA.e + c:£X3nitive overloo..d

GO OUTSIDE

,..; ,

Coy- look ou.tside]

persrective, context

ADMIKf ART the gift of fee\iV1(3 1r-ax1�ported

sol'Yle.thing IO.Y-ger tho..n this �

6£ ACTIVE

Page 2

\(\

8, lAUC,H

(.0-void st0.(31')0-.tion] body, mind, S'f)iY'it

puxe Y'lAVY\Or == et stA.stain in0 fov-ce

CULTIVATE �ELJ\TIONSHIP.5 those tha.t a.re edifl1ing -t- health�

fO�TE R HUMILITY & EXTEND GRACE se\f-riq'nteo\.tSV1ess

NUKTU�f G�ATITUDf wmt ,s one Thin�, n0iht now,

+ hW?Y-iss:;;;e1pt�1B

iho.1 is �ing weU?

to c\eo.V1se +- re'(Jo..ir bv--ain -t- body

DETOX

if flCAViC30..tint3 o..dcl ict{OY'\�

.,. sa.f e St'ENO llME WITH ANIMAL� � '1, stress hormoY1€s 1 t comfort � be w,se

CLARIFY INTENTIONS how CO.Y"\ i refr-aiY'I from c.o.vsing no..®, how can i contvibtAte meaniYY3fu.ll�? © The Trllvm� Stcward�h1p lo�t,tule 20211

STRESS & EARLY BRAIN GROWTH Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) What are ACEs? ACEs are serious childhood traumas -- a list is shown below -- that result in toxic stress that can harm a child's brain. This toxic stress may prevent a child from learning, from playing in a healthy way with other children, and can result in long-term health problems.

Adverse Childhood Experiences can include: 1. Emotional abuse

How do ACEs affect health? Through stress. Frequent or prolonged exposure to ACEs can create toxic stress which can damage the developing brain of a child and affect overall health.

2. Physical abuse 3. Sexual abuse 4. Emotional neglect 5. Physical neglect 6. Mother treated violently

Reduces the ability to respond, learn, or figure things out, which can result in problems in school.

Lowers tolerance for stress, which can result in behaviors such as fighting, checking out or defiance.

7. Household substance abuse 8. Household mental illness 9. Parental separation or divorce 10. Incarcerated household member 11. Bullying (by another child or adult) 12. Witnessing violence outside the home

Increases difficulty in making friends and maintaining relationships.

13. Witness a brother or sister being abused 14. Racism, sexism, or any other form

Increases problems with learning and memory, which can be permanent.

of discrimination 15. Being homeless 16. Natural disasters and war

Increases stress hormones which affects the body’s ability to fight infection.

May cause lasting health problems.

Exposure to childhood ACEs can increase the risk of: · Adolescent pregnancy · Alcoholism and alcohol abuse · Depression · Illicit drug use · Heart disease · Liver disease · Multiple sexual partners · Intimate partner violence · Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) · Smoking · Suicide attempts · Unintended pregnancies

A Survival Mode Response to toxic stress increases a child's heart rate, blood pressure, breathing and muscle tension. Their thinking brain is knocked off-line. Self-protection is their priority. In other words: "I can't hear you! I can't respond to you! I am just trying to be safe!" Page 3

The good news is resilience can bring back health and hope!

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the ability to return to being healthy and hopeful after bad things happen. Research shows that if parents provide a safe environment for their children and teach them how to be resilient, that helps reduce the effects of ACEs.

Resilience trumps ACEs! Parents, teachers and caregivers can help children by: · Gaining an understanding of ACEs · Helping children identify feelings and manage emotions · Creating safe physical and emotional environments at home, in school, and in neighborhoods What does resilience look like? 1. Having resilient parents Parents who know how to solve problems, who have healthy relationships with other adults, and who build healthy relationships with their children. 2. Building attachment and nurturing relationships Adults who listen and respond patiently to a child in a supportive way, and pay attention to a child's physical and emotional needs. 3. Building social connections Having family, friends and/or neighbors who support, help and listen to children. 4. Meeting basic needs Providing children with safe housing, nutritious food, appropriate clothing, and access to health care and good education. 5. Learning about parenting and how children grow Understanding how parents can help their children grow in a healthy way, and what to expect from children as they grow. 6. Building social and emotional skills Helping children interact in a healthy way with others, manage their emotions and communicate their feelings and needs.

Resources: ACES 101 http://acestoohigh.com/aces-101/ Triple-P Parenting www.triplep-parenting.net/ glo-en/home/ Resilience Trumps ACEs www.resiliencetrumpsACEs.org CDC-Kaiser Adverse Childhood Experiences Study www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/ace study/ Zero to Three Guides for Parents http://www.zerotothree.org/aboutus/areas-of-expertise/freeparent-brochures-and-guides/

Thanks to the people in the Community & Family Services Division at the Spokane (WA) Regional Health District for developing this handout for parents in Washington State, and sharing it with others around the world. Page 4

Parents Can Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse Knowledge about sexual abuse helps protect children. Lack of knowledge leaves children vulnerable.1 Why are PARENTS the right people to teach their children about sexual abuse? PARENTS: • Influence children’s KNOWLEDGE and VALUES. • TEACH children the facts. • Have more influence on children’s decisions about sex than their friends.2

How do you talk to children about sexual abuse? • • • • • • • • • • •

Start at an EARLY AGE.3 Keep discussions DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE, with an awareness of normal behaviors. REPEAT the message.4 Promote HEALTHY SEXUALITY by teaching respect and value of body and gender.4 Teach CORRECT NAMES FOR BODY PARTS, to reduce children’s vulnerability.5 Establish TOUCHING BOUNDARIES so children understand they can say “no” to unwanted touch.5 Establish PRIVACY RULES in the home and away from home. Talk about SECRETS/TRICKS/THREATS that a perpetrator may use to keep children from telling.6 Educate children on VULNERABLE SITUATIONS, including social media and online activities. Educate children BEYOND “STRANGER DANGER” because approximately 90% of sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child knows.6 Give children PERMISSION to tell about anything happening to them.

What do you do if a child discloses sexual abuse? • • • • •

Stay CALM and LISTEN to the child. Tell the child you BELIEVE him/her and are glad they told you. Tell the child that what happened is NOT THEIR FAULT. REPORT THE DISCLOSURE to professionals for investigation and help. DO NOT ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS. DO NOT CONDUCT YOUR OWN INVESTIGATION.

Page 5

Parents Can Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse REFERENCES 1. Rosenzweig, J. (2012). The Sex-Wise Parent. New York: Skyhorse Publishing. 2. Albert, B. (2012). One Voice 2012: America’s adults and teens sound off about teen pregnancy. Washington, DC: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. 3. Kenny, M. C. (2010). Child sexual abuse education with ethnically diverse families: A preliminary analysis. Children and Youth Services Review, 32(7), 981-989. 4. Wurtele, S. K. (2010). Out of Harm’s Way: A Parent’s Guide to Protecting Young Children from Sexual Abuse. Seattle, WA: Parenting Press. 5. American Academy of Pediatrics (2011). Parent tips for preventing and identifying child sexual abuse. Elk Grove Village, IL: Author. http://tinyurl.com/k6v6u98 6. Stop It Now! (2015). Prevention Tools. http://www.stopitnow.org/help-guidance/prevention-tools

Page 6

Normal Sexual Development by Age Learn about love and trust through caregivers

Learn and explore their bodies through the sense of touch, including their genitals

Have no inhibitions about nudity

Begin to learn distinction between male/female and learn expected behaviors

May have spontaneous reactions that appear sexual but are not (i.e. erection or lubrication)

Develop a sense of trust

2-5 Years

Develop language to describe genitalia

Should clearly know the differences between males and females

May know basics of human reproduction

May show curiosity about adult genitalia

May selfstimulate/self-touch often

5-8 Years

May have basic understanding and curiosity of puberty and human reproduction Bodies may start changing, puberty may begin

Understand physical, behavioral, and emotional distinctions between males and females Most know about sexual intercourse

Will begin to become modest about nudity

May understand difference in sexual orientation May discuss sex information with friends

Puberty will continue and children may have growing curiosity about sexuality May start accessing information about sexuality

Erections and masturbation occur in private

May start asking questions about sex and sexuality and be looking for more accurate information Most children understand prenatal growth

May play house or doctor or engage in consensual genital exploration with same aged peers May selfstimulate/self-touch or engage in consensual genital exploration with same age peers May start to be embarrassed, uncomfortable or private with their bodies Hugging, kissing and touching with known same-aged peers

May have an interest in dating or start to fantasize about romantic or sexual situations

Use of mobile phones and internet in relationships with same-aged peers

Page 7

0-2 Years

8-10 Years

10-13 Years 13-17 Years

Viewing materials for sexual arousal (i.e. music videos, magazines, movies)

May have a growing need for privacy

May start to feel pressure to engage in sexual activities

(Adapted from Georgia Center for Child Advocacy, Purdue University and Education.com)

Begin to have more stable friendships with peers of the same sex and start to feel peer pressure May be more curious about developed male and female bodies May start comparing themselves to others and wonder if they are normal May start to engage in kissing, touching, oral sex and intercourse.

How to Encourage Healthy Sexual Development

Page 8

0-2 Years

Teach the correct names of the body such as penis and vagina

Explain basic information about the differences between male and female anatomy

2-5 Years

Provide basic information about reproduction (i.e., babies grow in the uterus of a woman)

5-8 Years

Encourage understanding of genders. Children who identify as transgender might experience confusion and will need more support form adults

Encourage a basic understanding of privacy and when things are appropriate/comfortable and inappropriate/uncomfortable. Explain that if a grown up or child touches the child in an inappropriate way the child must tell an adult Explain the basics of human reproduction, including the role of vaginal sex.

8-10 Years

Continue to provide information about the physical changes during puberty and changes to their bodies

10-13 Years

Provide accurate information about sex and sexuality

13-17 Years

Continue open communication about sex and sexuality

Talk about the social and emotional aspects of puberty (i.e. mood swings and comparing bodies with other peers). Help children know that these new emotions and needs are normal Talk about how children can find information/resources on sex, sexuality and sexual health

Help children begin to understand how to interact respectfully with peers of the same age Explain the difference between wanted and unwanted touch. For example, a hug that is welcome and positive versus one that is unwelcome and uncomfortable

Provide very simple answers to questions about the body and bodily functions

Talk about physical changes that will occur during puberty

Explain that there are different sexual orientations such as heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual

Help children understand the difference between sexuality and body image in real life vs. what is shown on T.V., magazines, etc.

Support them understanding their rights and responsibilities in friendships and relationships. Talk about and model healthy relationships

Teach children about boundaries and tell them that their bodies belong to them and they can say no to unwanted touch. Model this by not forcing children to hug or kiss someone that they do not want to

Be clear about your family’s Continue to talk to children values and how other about body boundaries and families have different unwanted touches through values about sex and teenage years sexuality Provide information on sexual Offer yourself as a resource Identify appropriate adults health. if they have questions or and ways to get information concerns about sex or about sex, sexuality and sexuality sexual health (Adapted from National Sexual Violence Resource Center)

Use opportunities such as baths or diaper changes to talk about boundaries and genitals being private Model privacy by going to the bathroom and showering in private

Respect children’s need for privacy and respect their choices for unwanted touches. Model this by not forcing children to hug or kiss someone that they do not want to Identify appropriate adults and ways to get information about sex and sexuality

Talk to your children about healthy relationships including peer pressure’s effects on relationships Continue to talk to your children about healthy relationships including consensual sex

PROTECTING YOUR KIDS

ONLINE 2.0

CONNECT Set some ground rules. Establish clear guidelines like what types of sites kids can visit, apps they can download, and when they can have access to electronics. Consider “blackout” periods that require disconnection.

Research before you buy. It’s important to learn about a device’s capabilities before you buy. Will it allow unknown people to communicate with my child? Will this allow children to make unchecked purchases?

Go beyond safeguards. Installing monitoring software doesn’t guarantee your child will be safe online. Time, attention, and active conversation are the best tools to protect them.

REPORT! If your kids are dealing with cyberbullies or potential online enticement, report it to the website, cell phone provider, law enforcement, or www.cybertipline.org

LEARN Know the platforms. Online enticement happens across all platforms, so be aware of the sites, games, and apps your children frequent. Ask them to show you how they use them.

Be proactive. Teach your kids to spot common tricks used by online offenders. In NCMEC CyberTipline reports, the most common tactics used to entice a child online were: • Engaging the child in sexual conversation/ roleplay as a grooming method. • Directly asking the child for sexually explicit images of themselves, or offering to mutually exchange images. • Developing a rapport with the child through compliments and other supportive behaviors such as “liking” their online posts. • Sending unprompted sexually explicit images of themselves. • Pretending to be younger. • Offering incentives for explicit content.

Spot the Red Flags. A child who is experiencing online enticement may be: • Spending increasing time online. • Getting upset when he or she is not allowed on their device. • Taking extra steps to conceal what they are doing online. • Receiving gifts from people you don’t know.

Page 9

ENGAGE Talk about it! Your kids might not tell you everything, but ask anyway. Regular conversations about safety can go a long way in increasing trust and communication.

Get involved. Challenge them to a duel. If you have kids who like to play online games, ask if you can play, too. When you respect their interests, they’re more likely to respect your rules.

Don’t pull the plug. Taking away internet access because they may have made mistakes online doesn’t solve the problem. Talk to them about protecting themselves and respecting others online.

A program of the

THE FOLLOWING CHECKLIST CAN HELP YOU TAKE STEPS TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFER ONLINE. CHECK YOUR COMMENTS AND IMAGES. Have you posted anything inappropriate or illegal, like threats, nudity, alcohol, or drugs?

TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT WHAT’S OK TO POST. Agree that you won’t post embarrassing or hurtful comments or images of each other. Be clear that you’ll delete – or if needed, report – any posts that are inappropriate, illegal, threatening, or could get you in trouble.

REVIEW YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS. Always ask yourself – what is on my profile and who can see it?

KNOW YOUR FRIENDS, CONTACTS, AND FOLLOWERS. These are the people who can see, share, and comment on what you post so you want to be sure you can trust them. Block and report anyone who makes harassing, threatening, or inappropriate comments.

KEEP AN EYE ON 3RD PARTY AND CONNECTED APPS. Some of these will allow you to log into one app using account information from another. Be careful, as this may allow the company access to your profile information.

DON’T FORGET MOBILE. When you use mobile devices like smartphones and tablets to post something or check in, you could also be sharing your location. Check your settings to make sure you’re only sharing what you want to.

REPORT. You have the right to be safe online. If anyone cyberbullies you, make a report to the website or app. If anyone shares or asks you to share sexual messages or images, make a report to CyberTipline.org.

For more resources visit Missingkids.org/NetSmartz/Resources. Page 10

While communities close schools and practice social distancing due to COVID-19, it’s okay if you feel lonely, isolated, anxious, or all of the above. Whatever you’re feeling, YouthLine is here for you. YouthLine is a teen-to-teen crisis, support, and help line. From 4pm-10pm daily, teens can call, text, or chat with other teens to talk about anything and everything that’s going on for them! At YouthLine, we believe no problem is too big or too small. Whether this feels really big or really small, you deserve support. • Call 1(877)968-8491 • Text ‘teen2teen’ to 839863 • Chat www.oregonyouthline.org We listen. We support. We keep it to ourselves.

Getting Through Today Sometimes, we just need to get through today. So, try taking it one step at a time. We’ve listed resources and brainstormed some creative ways to stay connected that you can try when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Doing one or two of the things from this list can keep stress under control now, so you can sort out the bigger issues later. • Take care of your mental health! o Practice safe and helpful coping skills o Try a mindfulness or breathing exercise o Talk to people you trust or reach out to the YouthLine o Check out this article from the Center for Disease Control! o Reach out to your mental health provider- most are offering sessions online! • Free lunches are being provided throughout our communities! You can check out how to access them here. • The Trevor Project is an awesome resource and a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth to reach out for support. • Alateen electronic meetings are a great way for youth aged 13-18 who have been affected by someone else’s drinking to get support. • Moving your body can help lower stress and anxiety. Many gyms and fitness instructors are offering free online fitness classes. YouTube is a great resource for online workouts. Invite your friends virtually and work out together! • Stay connected virtually. Google hangouts, group FaceTime, gaming platforms, and texts can help keep you connected! Reaching out benefits you and them. • Practice kindness towards others and yourself- you’re doing the best you can right now.

Get the Facts, Avoid the Rumors It’s natural to be curious but remember- there is a fine line between being aware and living in fear. Here are some easy ways to stay informed without feeling overwhelmed. • Consult with and listen to trusted public health experts- we recommend: - Oregon Health Authority - Centers for Disease Control - World Health Organization - 211Info • Take breaks from social media, news reports, and talking about COVID-19 altogether if you feel overwhelmed. • Reach out to YouthLine and tell us all about it! YouthLine is a service of Lines for Life — a non-profit dedicated to preventing substance abuse and suicide in Oregon. Page 11

Kids Need All Adults to Report Abuse During COVID-19 Crisis

#Essential4Kids

A resource for all adults describing signs of child abuse and where to report.

Reporting child abuse and neglect is everyone’s responsibility. Kids are Counting on All Adults to Protect Them

Some Signs a Child is Not Safe

This means YOU! This resource is for any adult who interacts with a child. It outlines signs of abuse and neglect and where to report.

Physical abuse

In times of crisis and economic instability, child abuse and neglect rates increase. However, reports of child abuse and neglect in Oregon have declined dramatically.

• Child has burns, bites, broken bones, bruising, black eyes or complaints of pain.

Children are not going to school, activities, places of worship and other public places where adults look out for their safety and well-being.

Trust your Gut

• Child appears frightened of the caregiver.

• Caregiver offers no explanation of a child’s injury, the parent “blames” the child’s behavior or personality for the injury. Ask yourself “Does the story match the injury?”

Sexual abuse • Child attaches very quickly to strangers or new adults in their environment.

If something does not look safe, sound safe or feel safe – report.

• Demonstrates unusual sexual knowledge or behavior for their age.

Making a Report is Asking for Help and Services

• Witnessing an adult inappropriately touching a child, watching pornography with a child or saying sexual things to a child.

When you report, you are asking for a professional to help a child and their family. You do not need proof. You are not making an accusation.

Emotional Abuse

You May Be the Only Person to Act

• Appears emotionally unattached to caregiver and others.

If you reasonably suspect a child is unsafe - report. Anonymous reports are accepted from anyone.Anyone making a report in good faith is protected against civil/ criminal penalty or adverse employment action. Your identity is held confidential and will not be revealed.

• Difficulty walking or sitting.

• Child shows extremes in behavior: overly aggressive or compliant.

• Caregiver constantly blames, belittles or berates the child and refuses to help the child when needed.

Neglect • Child begs or steals food, has severe poor hygiene or states that no one at home provides care. • Witnessing a child using alcohol or other drugs.

Where To Report 24-hour/7 days a week Oregon Statewide Abuse Reporting Hotline 1-855-503-SAFE (7233)

• Highly stressful family situations and/or adults in home abusing alcohol or other drugs. • Unlocked weapons or guns in the home.

If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. This document has been adapted from the original resource created by Missouri KidsFirst, www.missourikidsfirst.org. Page 12

Internet Safety- Tips for Parents (Adapted from: CARES NW Child Abuse Evaluation Center)

2. 3.

9. 10.

Talk with your child about internet safety: Make it part of your regular safety talks, just like you talk about things like wearing a bike helmet, looking both ways before crossing the street, and drugs and alcohol. Include topics such as privacy with personal information, passwords, not meeting with people you meet online, the difference between a friend you know and an internet friend, and not accepting “friend requests,” or “followers” that you don’t know off-line. Begin early: Begin talking about Internet Safety when your child shows an interest in using computers, tablets, or phones. Use the internet to educate yourself: At least 4 times a year, check these two websites to find out current trends, how to increase safety, and how to talk to your children about the internet: www.connectsafely.org, www.netsmartz.org . Make sure you learn about current trends with social media, file sharing, live-streaming, texting, and popular apps. Show interest in what your child is doing on the internet: What apps do they like? What are other kids their age using? What social media programs are they, and their friends using? Let them show you how they work. Talk to youth about Netiquette and create guidelines together: Frame all your conversations as creating healthy, and happy relationships online. Talk with your child about the importance of having manners online. Have conversations about texting, posting, and messaging, and how everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Basic Rule: Don’t say anything you would not say in real life. Discuss cyberbullying: Try to use the language they are using. Talk to your kids about online, and text messages “drama.” Discuss mean or rude behavior online. Ask about rumors and arguments among their friends and peers. Encourage kids to take some time before they respond to these things and think long and hard about what they want to say and whether what they say will ultimately be helpful or hurtful. Discuss pornography and cyber-predators: Children are intentionally, or accidentally viewing pornography at younger and younger ages. Tell them they can come to you or another adult they trust if something happens online that makes them feel uncomfortable. Ask them if they have accidentally, or on purpose seen pictures or videos of naked people online. Tell them that questions about sex or sexuality are best answered by an adult(s) they trust. Be an “Askable parent.” Bottom Line: If you see something online that makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or worried: leave the website, turn off your computer if you want to, and tell a trusted adult immediately Discuss sexting: Sexting can include text messages, live video-streaming, or videos. Discuss what makes a healthy relationship and include the idea that being pressured to do anything is not respectful. Ask tweens and teens directly if anyone has asked them to send naked pictures or sent them naked pictures. Talk about how the photos and messages really are not private. Emphasize how forwarding sexts they receive is violating someone’s trust and their body. See NetSmartz’s “Talking to teens about sexting.” Discuss social media platforms: Ask your child about the Social Media platforms that are popular. Learn about them by asking your child to share about them and going online. Find a way to have fun with your child online: Find an app, game, or social media platform that you can use to connect with your child.

Page 13