For mums who want more.
The truth
about becoming a mum of two
7 ways to save when you have a baby
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018 - issue forty three
meet The mum with two sets of twins!
$$
Sam Wood shares what you need to know when training pregnant
Are high end prams worth the price tag?
PLUS...
Returning to work with confidence Ditching newborn sleep expectations The best breastfeeding products And much more...
e v i t c e l l o C e i s s u A e l a S s a m t s i r h C
Brought to you by
Up to 40% off your favourite brands!
9-12 r e b m e v o N
facebook.com/groups/AussieCollectiveSales
Editor’s letter
Image by Hipster Mum, www.hipstermum.com
I
t has been two years since I had my last baby and almost five years since I had my first but I think there are a few things that always stick with you. The sweet smell of your newborn baby and how you feel the first moment you hold them in your arms. The sheer exhaustion that you experience in the days, weeks and months after your baby is born and that magical moment when they first sleep through the night. The baby issue we create each year is always my favourite. As difficult as that time can be when you become a new mum and have a tiny baby to look after, it is such a significant time in your life. It can be full of happiness or clouded with postnatal depression and that is why I think it is so important that Kid Magazine is a place of kind and supportive information to help new parents as they navigate that journey.
Cover image: Deanna Gaynor, dimages.com.au
In this issue you will find some fabulous Aussie businesses led by mums creating amazing products for mums and babies. You will also read about the wonderful work of the Pink Elephants Support Network and find tips and resources from our team of experts. I have also shared my personal experience of having my second child plus a mum of two sets of twins (yes TWO sets of twins) shares her very interesting story. Until next time you can find more resources and information at kidmagazine.com.au.
Sara
Copyright Š Kid Magazine. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher, Kid Magazine. The publisher accepts no responsibility for any errors or omissions within. Opinions expressed by authors are not necessarily those of the publisher. The information within should not be considered as personal advice. Some links contained within may be affiliate links so we may earn a small commission if you make a purchase. For all editorial and advertising enquiries please email sara@kidmagazine.com.au
Editor and Chief Kid sara@kidmagazine.com.au kidmagazine.com.au
facebook.com/kidmagazine
instagram.com/kidmagazineau
www
kidmagazine.com.au
THE TRUTH ABOUT BECOMING A
mum of two
kidmagazine.com.au 8
Having a baby, whether it is your first or your tenth, is a completely life changing experience. While everyone rallies around first time mums, eager to welcome their first baby into the world, for second time mums, the sheen has faded and they are left more to their own devices. But, as Sara Keli argues, second time mums are the ones who probably need the support the most. I wasn’t completely naïve to the challenges I would face when baby number two arrived but I certainly was not prepared for just how hard I would find it. When my eldest was about six-weeks-old, already sleeping through the night, feeding like a dream and just a generally chill baby, I recall thinking to myself, “what was everyone else complaining about?” Well, karma got me good, didn’t it! After managing the ups and downs of two years as parents to our beautiful girl, we decided it was time for another baby. We fell pregnant straight away so there wasn’t even really time to reconsider. My pregnancy was a typical second pregnancy, plagued with pelvic pain, exhaustion from running around after an active two-year-old and not much thought even given to the baby growing inside me, other than when she reminded me of her presence with her ferocious kicks as I climbed in to bed to “sleep” each night. I went into labour 8 days early and she arrived a few short hours later. What a beautiful start! The hospital visitors were less than we had with our first daughter, but thanks to a kind message from a friend I was more than prepared for the dwindling guests. I recall sitting on the end of my hospital bed on the day we were due to go home, full of dread and panic about how I would manage two children. I was starting to get some picture of the enormity of what lay ahead and combined with the baby blues, or looking back, likely something more than that, I was terrified.
woken up by toddler ready to start it all over again.
As I finished up one task, ready to move on to the next, another five were added to my list. While I could previously rely on nap times or the ten minutes I knew my toddler would sit and watch an episode of The Wiggles in order to give me a few moments to myself, finding those moments was now almost I feared taking my eyes I was starting to get some impossible. off the baby while my toddler was present as she was equally likely picture of the enormity to try picking the baby up as to of what lay ahead and jam a large cashew nut in her tiny combined with the baby toothless mouth.
“
The early days of life with a newborn and a toddler/preschooler looked something like this: feed baby, feed toddler, play with toddler, feed baby, put baby to sleep, attempt to stop toddler blues, or looking back, likely So much of the attention and waking baby up, feed baby, play with toddler, feed baby, feed something more than that, energy of educating mums is spent toddler, shovel crusts from toddler on the first time mums. And this is I was terrified. sandwich into my mouth, feed warranted. Expecting your first baby baby, put baby to sleep, play with is equal parts joyous and alarming. toddler, bath baby and toddler, scoop baby poo out of Questions abound about what to expect during labour, the bath, feed baby, put baby to sleep, but toddler to how to breastfeed or know how much formula to give sleep, feed myself, feed baby, try to sleep, feed baby, get baby, how to get baby to sleep or what temperature the
kidmagazine.com.au 9
”
nearly that long to find my rhythm with two kids, I can say that it was all worth it. Despite the challenges and sleepless nights and tears, I wouldn’t change it for the world. To see my youngest, now the same age her sister was when we decided it was time to give her a sibling, looking up to her big sister with adoration and love, fills my heart with so much love. And then there is the joy I feel when I see my big girl continuing to step up to the big sister plate, taking on the role of protector, carer, teacher and friend. bath water should be along with the emotional support required for new mums. But what of the second time mums? Why does that support drop away? 90% of my mum friends who have two or more children all agree that the second brings with it such different challenges. People assume you’ve got this, and in isolation you would probably be ok with caring for a baby or caring for a toddler, you’ve done it before after all, but caring for them together is a whole other story. Going out with two is so much harder with one so you end up staying home more, adding to the feelings of isolation. I asked a few friends how they found the experience of having their second baby and I loved what my good friend Kylie from Kidgredients shared with me. “So you think you’ve got this parenting gig all sorted, then along comes number two. And all of the newborn stuff has to happen...but at the same time as all the toddler stuff. Nappies never need changing one at a time...they seem to do simultaneous poopage and that results in the need to make decisions like: “do I change the toddler first who might put their hands in their nappy and smear it everywhere or the newborn that might fall asleep in a poop covered jumpsuit? “Everything that you took for granted when you had just one baby vanishes over night. Nap times never coincide and you can kiss goodbye to your social life. And those memes about turning coffee into iced coffee? They are all true.” Looking back now, two years post my initiation into the mum-of-two club, and to be honest it has taken me
facebook.com/kidmagazine
We need to shift the “you’ll be right, you’ve done this before” conversation to one of sharing our universal experiences and learning from each other rather than the assumption that if you were ok with one that you will be ok with two. To know that it is ok to feel lost and clueless, even if it is your second baby. To still feel the arms of your village firmly around you so you can reach out to them for help. To talk more about life with two kids and not just the sibling fights as they get older or preparing meals for them as they reach different stages, but to talk about the reality of those early days of life with two little people who draw every drop of energy from within you. There is no sugar coating the challenges that second time motherhood brings but talking more about the difficulties, the rewards and leaning in to support mums, no matter how many children they have, is part of the remedy.
END
Sara Keli is the Editor of Kid Magazine. When she isn’t writing, designing or creating, you can find her enjoying the sunshine on her back deck with her two daughters or escaping into a good book.
instagram.com/kidmagazineau
www
kidmagazine.com.au
Christmas Street Fair Santa - Live Entertainment Free Face Painting - Petting Zoo Cottage Craft – Boutique Goods Food Trucks and lots more! $1000 Cash Prize Raffle to be drawn at 7:30pm SUNDAY 25TH NOVEMBER 3PM - 8PM SAGER PLACE, EAST RYDE Presented by Club of Ryde
Inc.
Thank you to our major sponsors Ryde City Council | BresicWhitney | Hunt & Hunt Lawyers Rhapsody Studios | Bendigo Bank | Dr Paws Veterinary Clinic
Teething in Style Red cheeks, sore gums, dribbly drool – teething is about as glam as it gets! When baby is teething, having anything to bite into (that preferably isn’t mum’s nipple) is a must. Even better if what they are biting into is not only safe, but also looks good to boot. Jellystone Designs teethers tick all the boxes and that is why mums have fallen in love with this gorgeous Aussie brand.
Blamed on many a long night or an irritable tot, teething is never a pleasant experience. And when life must go on, products that help to ease the pain and discomfort of teething, while also keeping baby entertained are essential. The range from Jellystone Designs does just that. The products are non-toxic (BPA, Phthalate, PVC, cadmium and lead free), made from silicone in designs recommended by Occupational Therapists. Based on a commitment to enhance the way babies and children learn and process through sensory exploration, under the guidance of owner and Sydney mum, Claire Behrmann, Jellystone Designs has become a leader in the silicone jewellery and teether market. Modern mums want ease just as much as they want style. They want products that can easily be washed, that are as functional as they are good looking and that are friendly on the wallet. And this is why Jellystone Designs has become such a fan favourite. The silicone products can be thrown in the dishwasher and are durable enough to stand up to almost anything an angry baby can throw at them. The silicone necklaces are an easy wear jewellery piece for mums and the prices on the entire range make them an affordable gift. Whether you are a fan of brights or prefer pastels, you are sure to find something you love in the range. We can’t help but love...
kidmagazine.com.au 12
ADVERTORIAL
Cloud Teether Who wouldn’t love this gorgeous little teether that doubles as a rattle. Made from silicone, beech wood and a ball rattle it will certainly keep bubs entertained and happy!
Cuddle Soother The benefit of a teether attached to a super soft fabric, design for comfort and tactile play. The teether can be removed to make washing easier or to even attach your own dummy or teether.
Cuddle Bunny OMG! This is the softest little breathable bamboo bunny destined to become lifelong besties with so many babies. The ears double as a tie for a dummy (genius) or even to attach a teether.
Moon Teether When you just want to keep it simple this is it. The rings are made from silicone and beech mood in a unique d esign that allows baby to safely explore and provide relief to sore gums.
facebook.com/jellystonedesigns
instagram.com/jellystone.designs
www
jellystonedesigns.com.au
7
WAYS TO SAVE MONEY WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY
Having a baby is one of the most fulfilling experiences in life. It’s also one of the most expensive experiences you’ll ever encounter. A new baby can put a strain on the household budget. Not only are your expenses going to increase, but your income will likely decrease. A scary thought, right? But the arrival of a new baby doesn’t mean you must abandon your savings plan and money goals. Jo Violeta shares 7 great ways to save money when you’re preparing for your newborn:
I wish I’d known what was ‘really necessary’ and what wasn’t before my first bub. I bought everything new and didn’t need half of it! For my second child however, I was far savvier. I scoured eBay during my pregnancy and found lots of brand-name bargains, many still with the tags on. Second-hand is a smart strategy for special occasion clothes. You can pick up a princess dress or a tiny suit for a fraction of its retail cost and chances are its previous owner only wore it once or twice. If buying second-hand cots, prams or car seats, you’ll need to check that the items comply with current safety standards. Even if a second-hand item is in good condition, it may be less safe than a newer model. Keep in mind that second-hand goods bought from a private seller usually aren’t covered by consumer guarantees.
kidmagazine.com.au 22
Image: DepositPhotos.com/hemul75
Buy second-hand
Shop around for better deals on household expenses
Towards the end of both of my pregnancies, I was in full-on nesting mode. I spring-cleaned the entire house. Carl and I also spring-cleaned our finances. We went through every ongoing expense to see if we could save by negotiating a better deal. We contacted our utility and insurance providers. Before I started maternity leave, we refinanced our home-loan, reducing our interest rate and monthly repayments. By dedicating an afternoon to ringing around, we literally saved hundreds of dollars a month.
Australian Breastfeeding Association If you’re breastfeeding, consider joining the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA). You’ll have access to a huge variety of discounts including breastfeeding related products. The ABA membership also offers half-price hire fees for breast pumps and access to free information and support.
Test before buying up big
If you’re going to use bottles to feed your baby (whether it be formula or expressed breast milk) only buy one or two bottles initially. You need to be sure that bubs will drink out of that bottle design and may need to test a few different brands until you find the right one. A friend of mine bought 10 bottles of a certain brand because everyone raved about them, but unfortunately her son wouldn’t drink from them. It took a few attempts before she found a brand he liked.
Wait to purchase
If you’re going to have a baby shower, or have particularly clucky and generous friends and family, wait to see what presents you receive before buying stuff for your baby. That way you’ll save doubling up. Do you have any other useful tips for saving money in the lead up to, and during the first year of, having a new baby? Please feel free to join our Facebook group and share your tips with other parents. There are plenty of great money-saving conversations going on in there.
END
Don’t buy too many baby clothes in advance
Babies grow super-fast. It can be hard to coordinate what size they’ll need for which season. Newborns can have sudden growth spurts at any time of the year. For example: when I was pregnant with our eldest Eva, I bought her a beautiful (and very expensive) coat. But sadly, by the time winter came, she had outgrown it.
Reconsider baby shoes
We have a super cute collection of never worn sneakers for our youngest. They were never worn because he didn’t really need shoes and even when we did try to put them on him they just fell straight off. Baby shoes look gorgeous, but before you whip out your credit card, consider whether you really need them. facebook.com/violetafinance
Jo and Carl Violeta are self-confessed numbers nerds, parents of an energetic toddler and a super switchedon teenager, and co-founders of the award-winning business, Violeta Finance. They are a husband and wife team who are passionate about empowering their community with financial education, love the odd glass of wine, and get a kick out of helping families achieve their homeownership and financial dreams.
instagram.com/violeta_finance
www
violetafinance.com.au
WIN
1
every product on this page!
3
Enter at kidmagazine.com.au/win NSW Permit No. LTPM/17/02510
2
4
5
8
6
9
breast friends
7
10
When you are breastfeeding, having the right products to support you can make all the difference. Here are 10 of the best!
1 Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bra, $64.95 and Clip and Pump™ Hands-Free Nursing Bra Accessory, $44.95, thestorknest.com.au/pages/bravado-launch 2 Milkbar Nursing Pillow in blue, $69.95, kidslifestyle.com.au/category/ourbrands/milk-bar 3 Spectra S2+ Hospital Grade Double Electric Breast Pump, $299, spectra-baby.com.au 4 BodyICE Woman Breast Pads is $44.95, bodyice.com 5 Real Active Big Bottle – Classic Black, $26.95, realactive.com.au 6 Nursing Nutrition Chocolate Bliss Balls, $24.95, pureblissco.com.au 7 Nipple balm, $12.95, www.gaiaskinnaturals.com 8 ProsperiTea Breastfeeding Tea, $26.95 and BambiniTea Bubs & Kids Blend, $26.95, maternitea.com 9 Breastfeeding singlet, $69.50, www.modibodi.com 10 Emily Nursing Racer Top Pink, $99, www.mammojo.com kidmagazine.com.au 32
This page contains affiliate links
INTRODUCING 2 NEW EBOOKS FROM ORGANISING STUDENTS
WHAT STUDENTS NEED TO KNOW
Taking the leap to Secondary School
The Leap to Secondary School
HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR CHILD
By Amanda Lecaude
By Amanda Lecaude
www.organisingstudents.com.au
www.organisingstudents.com.au
FOR STUDENTS
FOR PARENTS
Written for students and parents, these comprehensive eBooks provide a greater understanding of what to expect in taking the leap to secondary school. Full of tips and strategies to increase the chances of a smooth and successful transition including: • the key differences between primary and secondary school; • reassurance about thoughts & feelings - they are not alone; • other key tips including tips from their peers;
• an understanding of the fundamental skills students need to develop to become more independent and responsible; and • guiding parents on how to support their child.
Available to purchase from www.organisingstudents.com.au
“Wow. This is FANTASTIC! This is a comprehensive guide that answers all the concerns Year 6 students usually have. It will be the saving grace for many families” EDUCATOR AND RETIRED PRIMARY SCHOOL PRINCIPAL
Can’t get enough of Kid Magazine? Head to the blog for more fun & inspiration!