SIGNS IT’S TOO HOT IN THE FLORIDA KEYS

6. You overheard someone accusing the DOJ of weaponizing the weather against South Florida.

5. Liberals have been so hot they offered Hunter Biden as a human sacrifice to the gods to end the heat’s wrath. (And privately admitted that maybe he’s not the best dude, after all.)

4. Conservatives have been so hot they took the week off from “canceling” Bud Light, Target, Cracker Barrel, drag queens, Chick-fil-A, Amy Grant, CNN, HBO, Karl Rove, Disney, Legos, Mrs. Marvel, The Little Mermaid, sex ed, social media, Wrangler Jeans, Sesame Street, Oreos, Megyn Kelly, history, Harry Potter, evolution, Dr. Fauci, Campbell’s, climate change, Apple and books.

3. You haven’t gone through this many pairs of underwear since that time you drank the water in Mexico.

2. The Keys Weekly broke a story about the county losing copious amounts of fentanyl and other drugs and everyone was too hot to give a shit.

1. The TDC’s new slogan is “Come as you are … leave medium-well.”