16 1223 uk

1¢

Be merry.

The Florida Keys is a sanctuary for every holiday character including Bad Santa. Landon Bradbary, entertainer a.k.a. Bad Santa, and Theo Derleth, sidekick Elf, made a stop in the Keys and wished us all a very, very Merry Christmas. Nick Doll/ www.nickdollphotography.com.

2

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

3

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

MARATHON SEAWALLS & DOCKS • Complete Marine Construction • Docks

from the

Crew at Marathon Seawalls and Docks!

• Seawalls

• Vinyl Sheets • Dredging

• Boulder Walls

• House Foundations

LIC # ENG II 300C

305-289-9393 www.marathonseawallsanddocks.com

4

community news save the date

91831 Overseas Hwy. Tavernier, FL 33070 Office: 305.743.0844 www.keysweekly.com

Publisher

Clark Griswold jason@keysweekly.com

Publishing Partner

Burgermeister Meisterburger britt@keysweekly.com

Editor

Rudolp sara@keysweekly.com

Director, Sales & Marketing Kate MacAllister lesley@keysweekly.com

Account Executives

Kevin MacAllister hollie@keysweekly.com Frosty the Snowman anneke@keysweekly.com

Classifieds

Elf on the Shelf lynda@keysweekly.com

Staff Writers

Elf kristen@keysweekly.com Willie T Soke hays@keysweekly.com Ralphie Parker gabriel@keysweekly.com Prancer theresa@keysweekly.com

Office Manager

John McClane lynn@keysweekly.com

Design / Web Master

Cousin Eddie travis@keysweekly.com

Design / Pre-Press

Gingerbread Man javier@keysweekly.com

Se habla español

Keys Weekly Newspapers (ISSN 1944-0812) are a community newspaper group published every Friday by Keys Weekly Newspapers, 9709 Overseas Highway Marathon, FL 33050.

Subscription rates are $100.00 per year outside of Monroe County. Please call for all other subscription rates including overseas mail.

Saturday, Dec. 24 • Christmas Eve Service at 7 p.m. at Bluewater In the Keys Church, Islamorada.

Sunday, Dec. 25 • Christmas Day Brunch at 9:30 a.m. at Bluewater In the Keys Church, Islamorada.

Wednesday, Dec. 28 • Free meditation class at 7 p.m. at The Long Walk Home, Key Largo.

• Movie Under the Stars at 8 p.m. at Cheeca Lodge & Spa, Islamorada.

Thursday, Dec. 29 • Volunteer recruitment for Autism Society of the Keys from 6 to 7 p.m. at First Baptist Church, Islamorada.

Friday, Dec. 30 • Run, Walk, Glow 5k at 7 p.m. at Ron Levy Aquatic Center, Islamorada.

Saturday, Dec. 31 • Full Moon Party at 9 p.m. at Morada Bay Beach Café, Islamorada.

• Key West Burlesque shows at 10:30 and 11:30 p.m. at Amara Cay Resort, Islamorada.

Saturday, Dec. 31 • New Year’s Eve Fireworks at Blackwater Sound, Key Largo; Cheeca Lodge, Islamorada; Conch Shell Drop at Sloppy Joe’s, Key West; Pirate Wench Drop at Schooner Wharf, Key West; Key Lime Wedge Drop at Ocean Key Resort, Key West; and High Heel Shoe Drop at Bourbon Street Pub, Key West.

Jan. 5-16 • “Uncorked” food and wine festival at various venues, Key Largo.

Saturday, Jan. 7 • Noah’s March 5k Fun Run at 7:30 a.m. from Key Largo Chamber of Commerce.

Get your dates to sara@keysweekly.com or gabriel@keysweekly.com.

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

BRIEFLY Student runners: mark your calendars Marathon Runners Club’s 36th Annual 7 Mile Bridge Run is scheduled for April 1, 2017 at 7:20 a.m. Students interested in running at the reduced fee of $25 may get a registration form at any Monroe County school. The student-only registration must be completed and sent in with the fee no later than Jan. 20. More information about online registration for other interested runners can be found at 7MBRun.com.

Art Under Oaks set for Jan. 14 The 34th annual Art Under the Oaks is set for Saturday, Jan. 14 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. It’s a festival of fine arts and crafts featuring artists of all sorts, including culinary delights, held in the gardens of San Pedro Church at MM 89.5, bayside. Guests will also encounter specialty food booths, bake sale, live entertainment and a raffle of a fishing trip and one-of-a-kind donated art.

Admission is free, and on-site parking costs $5. Free and convenient shuttle buses run continuously from

Coral Shores High School’s free parking lot at MM 90, oceanside. No parking will be allowed on the U.S. 1 right-ofway.

Art Under the Oaks is the church’s primary annual fundraiser organized by volunteer members of the parish. For more information, visit www. artundertheoaks.com, email artundertheoaks@yahoo.com or call 305-6640888.

Garden Club to meet Jan. 17 The Garden Club of the Upper Keys will hold its next monthly meeting on Tuesday, Jan. 17 at 11 a.m. at the Francis Tracy Garden Center, MM 94 bayside. The presenter will be Tricia Keffer, who is in the graduate program at FIU. She will be speaking on the topic “What a Landscape Architect Does, and Tropical Hardwood Hammocks.”

Open to the public, bring a bagged lunch. For more information please call Kathy at 305-519-0135.

Rosenberg Eye~Florida Keys Stanley Rosenberg, M.D. Blade Free Laser Cataract Surgery • Improve Your Vision • Reduce Dependency on Glasses & Contact Lenses.

Call Our Surgical Coordinator at 305-852-3686 for an Appointment Today!

Located at 92140 Overseas Hwy, Ste 1 Tavernier, FL

Periodicals postage pending at Marathon, FL and additional mailing offices. All stories, photos, and graphics are copyrighted materials.

POSTMASTER:

Send address changes to Keys Weekly Newspapers 9709 Overseas Highway Marathon, FL 33050.

Did You Know?

We’ve been in business for 56 Years!

Architecture | Construction | Landscaping | Interior Design

News Deadline

Tuesday Noon

Advertising Deadline Tuesday 2 p.m.

11500 Overseas Hwy, Marathon, FL 33050 | MM 53 305-743-7130 | DAsignSource.com

CGC026675

LOCAL CHATTER

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016 JASON KOLER

jason@keysweekly.com

The Keys is an odd place to spend Christmas, according to most citizens of the United States. There’s no snow, no yuletide log and no scarves. But judging by the vacation rentals crammed to capacity, and the long lines at the grocery store and traffic lights, there is a certain segment of the population that LOVES Christmas in the Keys. We branched out to a larger cross-section of the holiday population to ask …

Would you like to spend Christmas in the Florida Keys?

“Heck, yes. I went to high school with some of those Key Deer,” said the deer with the overly bright nose. “Best years of my life.

Due to their short stature they were very accepting of my red, bulbous nose.”

“My recreational vehicle would look mighty fine parked in one of those ocean-front RV lots,” exclaims Eddie.

“Besides, I heard now that Castro is dead there might be some management positions in Cuba, so I’m gonna get over there for a look-see.”

After years of Who-Pudding, Who-Hash and Roast Beast, the Grinch says, “I could certainly go for some key lime pie, conch fritters and a stonecrab claw feast!”

Everyone talks about the good ole days in the Keys with varying degrees of accuracy.

The ghost of Christmas Past sums it up neatly: “There were a lot of mosquitoes in the Keys! Thank goodness for the Mosquito Control District!”

After years of prospecting, Yukon Cornelius finally hit pay dirt in the artic. “The deed is in dispute,” YC said, “But I have no doubt that Trump and Putin will rule in my favor. Hello Hot Tin Roof Bloody Mary Bar!”

5

6

LEISURE

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

12 Ways to Get Rid of Houseguests 12.

11.

Tell them we don’t have WiFi in the Keys, (Ask “What’s Google?" to seal the deal).

08.

“Catch” a highly contagious, communicable disease.

“Run out” of booze (and hide your stash under the bed).

06.

09.

Tell them Jimmy Buffett is having a free concert — in Miami.

05.

Send them to buy toilet paper; lock the doors.

03.

Convince them sunscreen is for suckers.

Show them your internet dump of “Disney Princesses Re-imagined.”

CASUALLY talk about Zika, Screwworm and Norwalk Virus like it’s no big deal.

07.

04.

10.

What’s for dinner: Spam & Bud Light.

02.

Put on Keys TV and watch council meetings.

01.

Stop washing the bath towels.

Unearth your children’s drum set.

CSHS STUDENT OF THE WEEK

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

The Upper Keys Weekly is proud to partner with Coral Shores High School faculty and students in choosing “The Student of the Week.” Recipients are chosen on a myriad of qualifications ranging from academic standing, athletics, outstanding achievements, community involvement, individuality and moral fortitude. We thank our future leaders and CSHS for allowing us to share in a weekly dose of “Cane Pride.”

Ava Garcia Freshman

What organizations and activities are you involved with at CSHS and why are they important to you?

I’m not involved in any organizations or activities but I enjoy drawing with Ms. Kelly.

Who has been your biggest inspiration at CSHS and why?

My biggest inspiration is Ms. Anderson, mainly because she’s just an outstanding teacher, and does everything she can to help students.

What class do you think has best prepared you for life after high school and why?

Freshman seminar has best prepared me for college with many useful strategies and techniques such as improving my typing speed.

Instagram or Snapchat? What’s your favorite filter?

Instagram — #nofilter.

What are the biggest challenges facing the Keys? What would you do to meet these challenges?

Many kids get bored because there’s not many things to do here, so they resort to drugs. I want to try and help this problem by maybe making more and fun productive clubs that meet on weekends.

What are your plans after high school?

I want to move back to Miami and apply to University of Miami.

Do you think you will make the Keys your permanent home? Why or why not?

No. I’m more drawn to a city lifestyle that can offer me many more opportunities.

Finish this sentence: Living in the Keys has taught me… … to really appreciate my surroundings and nature because we are the only place in the United States like the Caribbean and it’s a blessing to be able to grow up here.

7

8

The Arts

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

She’s crafty

InTune

THERESA JAVA

Top 10 Best Rock/Alternative Albums

M

theresa@keysweekly.com

arie Henson’s favorite tools are needle-nose pliers and scissors. As the implements suggest, she has a strong tendency towards symmetry.

Henson is a jewelry maker, fashioning beads, crystals, sea shells, sea glass, sea charms and handicrafts she finds in Greece and Czechoslovakia.

She uses Swarovski crystals, drachmas and any other found materials that compliment her collection.

Henson moved to Key Largo in 1989 and starting making jewelry 10 years ago after retiring as a Realtor. “I found my niche, it’s something that I really enjoy doing.”

She’s fine-tuned her craft in the last decade, and acquired an eclectic style along the way. Each piece is very unique, no two are the same. It was something that she started doing while her husband, Red, went out fishing. “It started out as a hobby and now it’s a full business,” she said.

Henson also makes bookmarks, fan pulls, key chains and sun catchers.

The guild she was a part of has disassembled, so her schedule is a “little lighter this year,” although she admits she’ll put in a good 40-plus hours of work over the next few months.

She slows down a little during the summer. That’s when Henson travels to Greece to visit her daughter. And, this year, she’ll be in Barcelona visiting her son. She finds inspirational trends

1. David Bowie Blackstar 2. The 1975 I like it when you sleep …

3. Radiohead A Moon Shaped Pool 4. Mitski Puberty 2 “If I put a big bead on the right side, then I want to put the same one on the left side. I struggle with my mathematical brain.”

— Marie Henson, jewelry maker

in Athens and considers it “to be ahead of the trend curve.”

Henson has an Etsy shop under Artist Bead Creations. Henson is scheduled out the next three months of festivals: Celtic Festival, Jan. 7-8; Art Under the Oaks, Jan. 16; Coral Isles Church sale, Feb. 4; Upper Keys Garden Club, Feb. 18; and Key Colony Beach Art Festival, March 5.

I was very camera shy. People like hot girls, so I put my music to hot girls and it just became a trend. The whole 'enigmatic artist' thing, I just ran with it. No one could find pictures of me.

— The Weeknd

5. ANOHNI Hopelessness 6. Leonard Cohen You Want It Darker 7. Paul Simon Stranger to Stranger 8. Angel Olsen My Woman 9. Bon Iver 22 a Million 10. Car Seat Headrest Teens of Denial — billboard.com

ENTERTAINMENT

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

Libations

Live Music SNAPPER’S Lung - Friday, Dec. 23 Lung - Saturday, Dec. 24 Frank C. - Sunday, Dec. 25 Steve Venini - Monday, Dec. 26 Rob Smith - Wednesday, Dec. 28 Dangerous Dave - Thursday, Dec. 29 Dangerous Dave - Friday, Dec. 30 Dangerous Dave - Saturday, Dec. 31

One of Jenny’s hidden talents is an uncanny ‘angry’ Donald Duck impersonation. Ask to see it.

Politely.

GABRIEL SANCHEZ

gabriel@keysweekly.com

Hog Heaven Sports Bar & Grill

H

og Heaven Sports Bar & Grill has plenty of delicious signature drinks, but their best has to be the Hair of the Hog Bloody Mary. This spicy little number comes complete with smoked bacon, celery, pickle spear, shrimp, meat straw (you read that correctly), and Old Bay seasoning. As far as Jenny Farr is concerned, it’s the Ubon’s Hot and Spicy Mary mix that completes the Hair of the Hog. She should know; she’s been bartending for more than 13 years, the last five of which she’s spent in the Keys.

“After a full knee replacement, the warm temperatures down here really help,” the Montana native said.

And how; she’s recovered nicely and spends her island time waterskiing and spearfishing. When she’s not shooting monster grouper, or tending to her fur babies, Magnum and Roxy, Jenny likes to hit the links and work on her golf game on the mainland.

“I’m pretty mean with a pitching wedge, not to brag or anything,” she laughed.

Visit Jenny at Hog Heaven,located at 85361 Overseas Highway in Islamorada.

Food is served from 11 a.m. to 3:30 a.m., and the bar stays open until 4 a.m.

GILBERT’S Bombshell - Friday, Dec. 23 The Beatleman - Saturday, Dec. 24 Mojo Scoundrels - Sunday, Dec. 25 Kevin Hurley - Monday, Dec. 26 Bobbe Brown - Tuesday, Dec. 27 Scotty Meyer - Wednesday, Dec. 28 DJ Reggae Ronnie - Thursday, Dec. 29 BAGA Tricks - Friday, Dec. 30 The Flyers - Saturday, Dec. 31 LORELEI’S CABANA BAR AND RESTAURANT Steve Venini Band- Friday, Dec. 23 Lady A’s Blue Fuze Band - Saturday, Dec. 24 Webb & Davidson - Sunday, Dec. 25 The Carousers - Monday, Dec. 26 Dennis Holmes - Tuesday, Dec. 27 Webb & Davidson - Wednesday, Dec. 28 Webb & Davidson - Thursday, Dec. 29 John Bartus and Storm Watch Band - Friday, Dec. 30 Lady A’s Blues Fuze Band - Saturday, Dec. 31 SKIPPER’S DOCKSIDE Bobbe Brown - Friday, Dec. 23 Lee Sharp - Saturday, Dec. 24 Scott Meyer - Sunday, Dec. 25 Lee Sharp - Monday, Dec. 26 Bob Bonnen - Tuesday, Dec. 27 Ronnie Molyneaux - Wednesday, Dec. 28 Yishka - Thursday, Dec. 29 Bobbe Brown - Friday, Dec. 30 Lee Sharp - Saturday, Dec. 31 BAYSIDE GRILLE Luke Sommer Glenn Band - Friday, Dec. 23 Steve Venini Bayside Band - Saturday, Dec. 24 Dave Bowman - Monday, Dec. 26 Steve Webb - Tuesday, Dec. 27 Steve Venini - Wednesday, Dec. 28 Steve Venini Bayside Band - Thursday, Dec. 29 Luke Sommer Glenn Band - Friday, Dec. 30 John Nemeth - Saturday, Dec. 31 SNOOK’S Yishka - Friday, Dec. 23 Ashba - Saturday, Dec. 24 Yishka Reggae Man - Sunday, Dec. 25 The Freddie’s - Monday, Dec. 26 Ashba – Tuesday, Dec. 27 Bobbe Brown - Wednesday, Dec. 28 Scott Meyers - Thursday, Dec. 29 Yishka - Friday, Dec. 30 Ashba - Saturday, Dec. 31 HOG HEAVEN

Now open

TO THE PUBLIC! 18-Hole Golf Course

Tennis Courts

Harbor View

Café & Bar

LUNCH: 7 DAYS DINNER: MON - FRI

Tuesday’s – All You Can Eat Snow Crab Legs Served Buffet Style – Dinner Only Café: 305-809-7210 Pro Shop: 305-743-3433 4000 Sombrero Blvd floridakeyscc.com

9

10

CHRISTMAS

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

Do NOT panic shop 5 thoughtful last-minute gifts

THANK YOU

to our Sponsors and Donors!

Anne O'Neil Artamorada Gallery Bella Sol Bitton Bistro Bob's Bunz Centennial Bank Center State Bank Cris Sandfier Coral Isles Church Crystals Jewels CVS Tavernier DePaula Jewlery Edible Arrangements Fat Iguana Artwerx Florida Keys Jewelry Florida Keys Orchid Club Florida Keys Brewing Co Geri Smith History of Diving Museum Ingrid Brooks Islamorada Mercantile Island Grill Island Paws Veterinary Hospital Jersey Boardwalk Pizza Jim Enright, Santa Juanita's Orchids Key Largo Floral & Gifts Key Largo Chocolates Keys Castaways Keys to Peace Landsaw Eye Care

Loralei Restaurant LulaRoe Olive Morada Pasta Pantaleo Signature Gallery Petals with Pizzazz Printing Plus Publix Resurrection Wood Sculpted Glass Sea Dragon Seaside Glass Seminole Theater Shear Paradise Shell World Sigma Omega Sorority Snappers Starbucks Terry Tainow The Art Box The Art Studio The Coconut Telegraph The Fish House/Encore The Key Largo Lions Club The Key Largo Chamber of Commerce The Mindful Mermaid The OV The Sunshine Band The Waypoint Foundation Worldwide Sportsman

And our many Generous Community Contributors!

Nothing good comes from panic buying. That last minute frenzy to have a gift for a friend, partner, loved one, or colleague, can evolve into an overthe-top spending spree and a lifetime supply of New Guinea pears courtesy of Williams Sonoma. Back away from the computer and, as the saying goes, shop locally. Less than 24 hours until Christmas? No worries, the 305 area code has you covered.

HAYS BLINCKMANN hays@keysweekly.com

1. The outdoorsy person on your list? Look at everything for the water: fishing, kayaking, diving, paddle boarding and boating. Men and women of the Keys love the water — check out any new equipment, gadgets or gear at a local shop. Splurge for an outing with a kayaking or paddleboarding guide, or get a group together for a day of charter fishing. Whether it be a new spearfishing gun, fishing rod, or kayak paddle — it’s out there.

2. The artsy person? There is so much going on in the Keys — check out local theaters for new plays, concerts and performances. Giving two tickets to a show is as easy as a click online. Also, don’t forget memberships — any one of the local theaters and arts organizations provide memberships making it the gift that keeps on giving all year.

Want something that will last forever?

Head to a gallery and purchase a locally made piece of art.

3. The introvert? There are Keys’ books stores filled with local and national authors. Who doesn’t love a good book to read? And add a year pass to the Florida State Parks, and that special someone can read all year long for free at any state beach. If you throw in a hammock or beach chair, you might just be called a hero.

4. For kids? Think a little outside the box. For a quieter kid, how about music lessons with a guitar or ukulele teacher? Or give a gift certificate to a local movie theater or pottery classes.

Active kids may like paddleboard or kayak lessons or equipment or check out local bike stores for fun new helmets, bike horns and accessories.

5. Smaller items for all Keys residents: sunglasses, gift certificates (to hardware stores, boutiques, restaurants or any local shop), a t-shirt from a favorite bar or Keys business. Finally, the gift that never disappoints, a great bottle of booze.

SEEN AROUND TOWN

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

11

Live Music | Open 4:20 – Midnight Tues – Sat

RAW BAR

|

2

Full Bar

Group holds adoption event in Key Largo

M

arrvelous Pet Rescue and the Key Largo Lions Club teamed up on Dec. 17 to help local animals find a “forever home.” Prospective parents had a chance to meet roughly a dozen pets up for adoption. Pet foster-parents we’re on hand to introduce their furry friends, answer questions, and help guide potential owners. The event featured nail trimming, dog training classes, arts and crafts for kids, and a visit from Santa Paws. Island Hammock Pet Hospital was also on site to microchip pets. To adopt from Marrvelous Pet Rescue, visit www.marrvelouspetrescues.org/ adoptionapplication.

— Weekly Staff report

IED R F & D E K A SMOKED, B ite Joint My Favor

GABRIEL SANCHEZ/Keys Weekly 1. Obi, left, has been a good boy all year.

He shared his wish list with Santa Paws, known locally as Roger Garcia.

2. Dr. Martha Edwards of Island Hammock Pet Hospital, left, chats with Marianne and Mike Stanley. The Stanleys are currently fostering Cyprus and her newborn litter of puppies.

3. Dawn Cale, left, holds Beans, and Michele McBride, has Frank.

Voted Best Lunch and Best Seafood in the People’s Choice Awards of the Lower Keys and Key West

Fresh Local Seafood | Daily Specials

3

Ranked #1 Restaurant in the Florida Keys on

$10 Blue Plate Special Lunch | Cocktails

Home for the Holidays

Happy Hour 4:20-6:30

|

Raw Bar

Grilled Oysters | 16 Taps – 150 Bottled & Canned Beers

1

305-745-8880 | MM 22.5 Oceanside, Cudjoe Key | Lunch 11-2:30 * Dinner 5-10

12

keys eats

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

Caribbean Holiday

Transplants bring their traditions to the Keys

By Kristen Livengood and Gabriel Sanchez

Puerto Rican Coquito

Abby Oglesbee of Summerland Key says this is her go-to recipe for the holidays. It has a couple tweaks from the traditional coquito, a coconut eggnog, but she says the tweaks make it better.

2 12-ounce cans of evaporated milk 1 15-ounce can of cream of coco nut 1 13.5-ounce can of coconut milk ½ cup of sweetened condensed milk Rum to taste (she prefers white rum, but says many use spiced rum) 1 tsp of vanilla extract Cinnamon to garnish (she said

nutmeg can also be used)

Serve cold and share with friends.

Oglesbee said there are variations, such as some will use eggs. She also said as the evening wears on, the rum pours get longer and longer.

Jamaican Fruit Cake

Georgina Rhoden of Marathon says her family incorporates American and Jamaican traditions. But some of her Jamaican traditions were changed as her daughters grew older. “We used to open the presents after dinner on Christmas Day, but the girls complained that the other kids get to open their presents first thing in the morning, so we changed that,” she said. In Jamaica, she said wealthy families have Christmas trees, and others just decorate the outsides of their houses. Dinner consists of rice and peas, chicken, beef, and pork, “But, the most important part is the Jamaican rum fruit cake for dessert.”

2 cups butter 2 cups sugar 9 eggs ¼ cup white rum 1 tbsp lime juice 1 tbsp vanilla extract 1 grated zest of one lime 2 lbs of chopped dried fruits 2 cups of wine 1 cup dark molasses 2 ½ cups of all-purpose flour 2 tsp baking powder ½ tsp of ground nutmeg ½ tsp of ground all spice ½ tsp ground cinnamon pinch of salt Preheat oven to 350 degrees, grease and flour two nine-inch round cake pans, cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy, beat in the eggs, add ingredients in order and bake until done.

Cuban American Ecuadorian Christmas Three Kings aka Tres Reyes turkey stuffing

“My daughter always said the best part about being Cuban-American is that she got double the gifts,” said Tony Yaniz of Key West. He said in Cuba, there is no Christmas day gift exchange, just traditional “Noche Buena” – a late night Christmas Eve family dinner. “It’s a huge family night, filled with good food, laugher, and storytelling,” he said.

Accompanying the day is a baked dessert specific to the holiday. The Rosca de Reyes (King’s cake) is a circular shaped sweet bread, shaped to signify a king’s crown. Baked inside the bread, a plastic figurine representing baby Jesus is hidden. Whoever finds the figurine is then obligated to host the upcoming ‘Dia de la Candelaria’ celebration on Feb. 2.

Twelve days later, on Jan. 6 is when the presents come because that is when the Three Wise Men arrived with gifts for Baby Jesus. “In Cuba, there is no Santa Claus,” Yaniz said.

Noche Buena Menu • Drinks: Cuba Libre: rum and Coke; Mojito: Cuban rum and mint drink; and Sidra: Spanish Sparkling Hard Apple Cider.

• Appetizers: Carne Fria: cold meat roll; and ham croquetas.

• Entrees: Moros y Cristianos: black beans and rice*; roast pig: lechón asado; fried plantains; and yuca with mojo and garlic sauce.

• Desserts: Arroz con Leche: rice pudding; Buñuelos: fried dough; Boniatillo: sweet potato dessert; Pastel de Ron: rum cake; and Turrones: nougat candy. *This traditional rice & beans dish is so called due to the 800-year occupation of Spain by the Moors beginning in 711 AD. The white rice symbolizes the Christians and the black beans the Moors.

“Navidad was a special day to be together as a family,” said Rosalinda Fernandez of Key Largo. “The entire family gathers on Nocha Buena, Dec. 24, and has dinner. We would traditionally eat turkey filled with our version of stuffing, called relleno. Before we ate the turkey, we would give it wine, which made the meat tenderer, supposedly.”

“After the turkey was drunk, my family would take it outback, chop its head off and boil the feathers off,” said Fernandez. At midnight, we would finally eat, pray and give thanks for the birth of Jesus. It would be time to add baby Jesus to the nativity scene and the adults would leave presents under children’s beds from ‘Papa Noel.’ ½ lb of ground pork ½ lb of chicken gizzards ½ lb of ground veal ½ lb of ground cooked ham 8 hard boiled eggs Salt to taste Bijol seasoning to taste 1 green pepper 2 red onions 1 small container of green olives 6 boxes of raisins 1 lb of crushed walnuts 1 container of seedless prunes ½ lb of butter 2 cups of milk 8 loafs of sweet bread 1 cup of red wine 3 cups of sugar Pan fry onions and peppers off to side; add salt, pepper, cumin, garlic powder. Cube bread, add 2 cups of milk and soak. Cook all the meats in one large pot with three cups of water.

When cooked, add seasoning to taste.

Add bread, onions and peppers, cup of wine to cooked meat. Finally add the raisins, prunes, and nuts, stir, and add chopped hard boiled eggs on top.

13

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016 A

COMPANY

Break the vicious cycle!

Set yourself free from continuous concrete repair Snappers Oceanfront Restaurant & Bar 139 Seaside Avenue, MM 94.5, Key Largo • (305) 852-5956 • www.SnappersKeyLargo.com SNAPPERS OCEANFRONT RESTAURANT offers quality dining with a Florida Keys feel at moderate prices in a casual atmosphere. Both locals and visitors alike are treated to a truly enjoyable Keys experience when visiting Snappers. Open daily from 11am, Sunday Brunch 10am.

OCEANFRONT • DAILY CHEF’S SPECIALS • LIVE MUSIC

OCEANFRONT

9 5

CGC 1515665 CFC 1428730

305-735-404 6677 Overseas Hwy

JAN 15 & 16th Bayview Park, Key West

LAZY LOBSTER NOW OPEN! MM 102 • Bayside • Key Largo • 305-451-0565 Lazy Days

Get the lift

without the surgery.

Ultherapy® is the only FDA-cleared treatment to lift skin on the neck, chin and brow non-invasively.

ISLAMORADA MM 79.9 Ocean 305-664-5256

No downtime • Natural results

www.lazydaysrestaurant.com

Enjoy Relaxing Oceanfront Dining While Feasting On Exquisite Seafood Dishes Prepared By Chef Lupe & Bernardo.

Local Fish Delivered Daily By Keys Captains D a i l y L u n c h & D i n n e r S p e c i a l s ! • C o o k Yo u r O w n C a t c h !

L u n c h B e g i n s a t 11 a m , D i n n e r B e g i n s a t 4 p m Happy Hour 4 - 6 Daily (Bar Only)

Before

After 90 Days

Call Today to Book a Consultation!

DR TRUE LANSDEN

Specializing in...

Cosmetic surgery, skin cancers, mastectomies, carpal tunnel syndrome, lacerations and trauma, wound care, body sculpting, chemical peels and phototherapy.

TruePlasticSurgery.com MARATHON • MM 47.3 (725 11th Street, Ocean) 305-289-0839 www.lazydayssouth.com

Lazy Days South

Exquisite Oceanfront Dining with Amazing Sunset Views

5701 O/S Highway, Suite 4 Marathon, Florida 33050 Phone (305) 453-6807

605 United Street, Suite B Key West, Florida 33040 (305) 509-7535

The non-invasive Ultherapy® procedure is FDA-cleared to lift skin on the neck, on the eyebrow and under the chin as well as to improve lines and wrinkles on the décolletage. For full product and safety information, including possible mild side effects, visit www.ultherapy.com/IFU. ©2015 Ulthera, Inc. Ultherapy and See the Beauty of Sound are trademarks of Ulthera, Inc.

14

WEEKLY INTERVIEW

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

Spoiler alert: Keep the believers (young children) from reading this.

He’s Naughty!

20 questions with Santa

Fess up: Who are you ACTUALLY giving the ponies to? Well, obviously, you haven’t made the list yet.

Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, Saint Nicholas, Papai Noel, Viejo Pascuero (and our favorite and reminicent of that SNL skit) Swiety Mikolaj — it doesn’t matter what you call him. He travels on Christmas Eve, making his way around the world delivering presents.

By Sara Matthis and Hays Blinkmann

How do you do ALL that work in one night? One word: Addy.

What do you really think of Rudolph? Honestly, all that whining about reindeer games! Rudolph’s a bit paranoid but he does do good PR for the rest of us.

How easy is it, really, to put together a standard bike? The elves and I have a joke about that … but I don’t think parents want to hear it.

Are all presents fair trade sourced and do you provide affordable housing for Elves? Do you know how many elves can fit into one house? It’s impressive.

Is it true you have dolphins and a water sleigh for Keys deliveries? I can’t discuss that. Let’s just say we’re in litigation with the Key Deer and manatees.

No chimney, now what? Usually, Keys residents always forget to lock their whole house, so we manage. And there is always a spare hidden in the manatee mailbox.

Is Jason Koler, publishing partner of the Weekly Newspapers, on the naughty or nice list? Let’s just say he is protected under the 1st Amendment.

Does Britt Myers, publishing partner of the Weekly Newspapers, get coal again this year? Myers has some extra “Santa” hours to finish from certain unmentionable events from last year, so he has to deal with the children who won’t go to bed.

How tall are you and how much do you weigh? Ummm, I have a girlfriend.

If the elves can make storm trooper helmets, why can’t they make batteries too? Fair enough.

What music do you really listen to in the sled? AC/ DC, I’m not allowed to listen to it at The North Pole, so it’s my only chance.

Favorite Christmas movie? That Billy Bob. Can’t help it, “Bad Santa” gets me every year.

When you are in our homes, what do you REALLY do? Well, I know what you keep in the back of your sock drawer. Tsk, tsk.

Finish these sentences …

My preferred treat is … rum and Coke and sweet, sleepy babies.

Why does my son’s bike match the one at Kmart? Just kidding, you cool with us putting your name on the crappy presents and signing our own (parent) names on the good stuff? You know, that’s not cool. Kanye is going to do a PSA about that this year.

Glitter and tinsel are … a bitch to get out of my beard.

Are you going to hold these questions against us? Depends on what kind of cookies you guys leave out this year.

When it’s all over, I will vacation in … The Florida Keys, of course!

The best country to visit is … Brazil, they have a very interesting take on Christmas pajamas.

LEISURE

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

YARD GAMES

Beyond corn hole …

By Sara Matthis & Gabriel Sanchez

M

ost of us have at least a couple of days off during the holidays.

It’s a time for friends and families to get together — relax, eat and play. With the unreasonably warm weather the Keys are experiencing right now, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t bring the party outside and offer guests (young and old) something a little different than the usual.

Beer Frisbee In my family, those 21-years and older play this game holding a bottle or cup of beer, but in actuality it’s just a one-handed game. Start with two five-foot high PVC pipes jammed into the lawn about 30 paces apart. Then balance a bottle of beer on top of the stake. Form two teams of two, whose job it is to defend their goal.

The object of the game is to throw the Frisbee at the other player’s beer bottle and knock it off. The rules state that players may only use one hand to throw and catch the Frisbee; the other hand must have a beverage. If the Frisbee hits the stake too low (less than 2 feet off the ground), there is no score. Also, players may not catch the Frisbee in front of the stake.

Scoring: • Knocking the other team’s beer bottle down, and they also fail to catch the Frisbee equals 3 points.

• Knocking the other team’s beer bottle down, but they catch the Frisbee earns 2 points.

• Missing the other team’s beer bottle, but they drop the Frisbee equals 1 point.

• The first team to 21 points wins, and teams may switch goals half way through the game to take advantage of the position of the sun or direction of the wind.

Ladder Golf Ladder Golf requires two or more players or teams. Each player tosses three golf “bolas” (two golf balls attached by a 13-inch rope). The object of the game is to wrap your bolas around the three rungs of the ladder, each 13 inches apart. Ladders are officially spaced at 15 feet apart from the toss-line, or roughly five paces.

Points are counted from bolas still hanging on the rungs after all three tosses. Bolas can be knocked down — knocking down other team’s bolas is encouraged and is an effective defense strategy.

The top rung is three points, the middle is worth two, and the bottom is one point.

Ladder Golf is played in rounds.

Each thrower must toss all bolas before the next person or team tosses.

Winner of each round earns first toss next round.

Games are played to 21 points.

Teams must score exactly 21 points to win. If a team scores more than 21, those points do not count. In the case of a tie, teams must toss until one team wins by 2 points.

Manhunt Step one: wait for night to fall, dress in black, and let the game begin.

Most of us used to call this game “kick the can” and it, too, has a “safe base” element. From there on the rules are very flexible (and decided by the players that have the most forceful personality) boundaries of the playing area, time limits, appropriate smack talk, teams or singles, etc.

(Pro tip: If you really want to have fun, insist that the adults play. The kids get such a kick out of it!)

Connect Four This yard game is exactly like the tabletop game only, you guessed it, bigger.

The board can be made out of three sheets of thin plywood and the only specialty tools needed are some big (4to 5-inch) hole saws. For DIY-ers there’s a how-to article on The Home Depot blog, for the Amazon-ers, it’s available starting at about $125.

January 6th

BANDS Albannach

FRIDAY

Screaming Orphans Rathkeltair West of Galway Marcille Wallis & Friends

Kilts in the Keys party at the Marathon Grill & Ale house.

Time: 5-7 PM | Live Music Food and Ale

JANUARY 7 - 8, 2017 SATURDAY: 10AM-8PM | SUNDAY: 11AM-5PM

SATURDAY: 10AM-8PM | SUNDAY: 11AM-5PM

HIGHLIGHTS

Women’s Highland Athletics Competition Men’s Highland Athletic Demonstrations The Official Florida Haggis Hurling Championship Sheepdog Herding Demo Both Days!

TWO DAY TICKET

$20

SINGLE DAY TICKET

$12

Tickets available at KeysTix.com

SATURDAY & SUNDAY

Irish and Scottish Dancing, Pipes and Drums, Celtic Food, Beer and Vendors, Parade, Clan Call, Irish Tea Tent Children’s Glen with activities for the wee ones

Marathon Community Park

Jan 9th

MONDAY

HICKORY STICK GOLF TOURNAMENT AT THE FLORIDA KEYS COUNTRY CLUB JAN. 9TH. TEE TIME AT 9 AM PROCEEDS SUPPORT THE HAMMOCK HOUSE FREE AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM AND SUMMER CAMPS

Brought to you by: Saint Columba Episcopal Church Entertainment Producer: Celtic Heritage Productions

FLKeyscelticfestival.com Follow us on:

15

16

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

Key Largo Rotary and Upper Keys Marine Construction Invite you to THE

6TH ANNUAL

BREW ON THE

BAY SATURDAY

JANUARY 7TH 2017

NOW WITH A SEAFOOD COURT

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS Friday, January 6th 6:00 pm – 8:00 pm HOMEBREW SHOWCASE

Featuring up-and-coming local homebrewers Lions Club, 5 Homestead Ave, MM 100. KEY LARGO

The Best Value in the Florida Keys with over 100 craft beer tastings, Live Music and mouth-watering Seafood and Appetizers.

Saturday, January 7th 1:00 pm - 2:00 pm BREW ON THE BAY

Exclusive VIP Access, Rowell’s Waterfront Park

2:00 pm – 5:30 pm BREW ON THE BAY

Rowell’s Waterfront Park 104550 Overseas Hwy. KEY LARGO

Starting at 6:00 pm

After Party Hosted by Sharkey’s Pub and Grill 522 Caribbean Drive, MM 100. KEY LARGO

Tickets on Sale at www.keylargobrewonthebay.com

Buy Now and Save $10 on VIP and General Admission Tickets! Prices increase at the gate.

All proceeds benefit the young men and women of our community for vocational careers and education scholarships.

CHRISTMAS

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016 Spencer’s minion themed gingerbread house stole the show at the Holiday Festival’s gingerbread house contest.

GABRIEL SANCHEZ

gabriel@keysweekly.com

Proper gingerbread construction begins at the base Start with foundation and basic ingredients

B

ob “Mr. Bunz” Spencer is no stranger to the art of gingerbread design. The largest gingerbread house he’s made was an astonishing 5 feet tall. And, after winning this year’s gingerbread house contest held by the Islamorada Chamber of Commerce, Spencer and his business partner Gloria Teague are willing to share their pastry pro tips.

(They own Bob’s Bunz in Islamorada, next to Pierre’s at MM 81 gulfside.)

“Before you build the house, though, you buy the property,” laughed Teague. “You need to buy a solid piece of property.”

The “property,” or construction platform, should be able to bear the weight of the completed structure.

Once you’ve found a suitable surface, Spencer recommends experimentation

Bob “Mr. Bunz” Spencer baked in Philadelphia for 10 years after graduating from The Restaurant School and majoring in pastries. He earned his master cake decorating certificate from the Wilton School of Cake Decorating and Confectionery Arts in Chicago. After a job hunt brought him to the Keys, Spencer partnered with Gloria Teague to open Bobz Bunz, and has been serving up delicious pastries for 30 years in the Keys.

to find the most reliable gingerbread recipe.

“Gingerbread is affected by humidity, which makes it really hard to make sturdy gingerbread houses … at least in the Keys,” said Spencer. “Gingerbread goes through two stages. First it soaks up humidity, then it begins to stiffen. I found that the stiffer you make the gingerbread, the better it holds up.”

First-time builders should choose a simple recipe and experiment making cookies to gauge

gingerbread consistency. After choosing a recipe, formulate an idea of how the house will look, and draw a stencil blueprint.

Once the stencils have been made, roll the dough to a quarter inch in width, and bake two sets of every gingerbread piece. That’s right, two sets.

This ensures the house will have extra pieces if a kid named Hansel shows up and eats part of the roof. Using a knife, pizza cutter, or whatever sharp object kids can’t play with, cut out the pieces and let them harden.

The next steps of “gluing” the house together takes into consideration the consistency of the icing. For his “glue,” bob makes royal icing — powdered sugar, cream of tartar, and eggs whites.

“Cream of tartar, and real egg whites from fresh eggs work best,” said Spencer. “And paste food coloring is good for darker colors, liquid food dye is better for light.

Spencer uses both hands to add pieces and glue them, while simulatenously holding them in place for about three minutes while the icing “cures.”

Allowing the icing to cure for a whole day (before adding any accessories) will allow for a stronger hold. Better yet, once walls have been built, a reinforcing interior frame can add much needed stability. To sum up: much of the actual construction will be patient gluing and holding.

For unique home decorations, aside from the well-known candies, use almond slivers as shingles and coconut flakes as snow says Spencer.

Gelatin sheets work great as glass for windows and upside down ice cream cones are perfectly shaped to become trees.

17

BRIEFLY Sheriff: ‘Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over’ This holiday season the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office will be out looking for drunk drivers as part of a special year-end “Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over” enforcement effort. Don’t take the risk of spending time in jail during the holidays. Follow these tips to stay safe on the road: • If you will be drinking, plan on not driving.

• Plan your safe ride home before you start the party. Designate a sober driver ahead of time. If you become intoxicated, do not drive — call a taxi, phone a sober friend or family member or use public transportation.

• If someone you know has been drinking, do not let that person get behind the wheel. Take their keys, take them home, or help them arrange a safe way home.

• If you see an impaired driver on the road, contact local law enforcement.

Mariners Hospital to raffle boat Mariners Hospital is raffling off a 2017 18-foot Hewes Redfisher with a Yamaha 4 stroke outboard engine and AmeraTrail custom trailer to benefit new patient beds at the hospital.

Tickets are a $100 donations and will be drawn on Saturday, Jan. 28 at the Bougainvillea Ball. There are only 500 chances to win. For more information, contact 305-434-1026.

Sheriff announces next citizen’s academies The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office will be holding its next Citizen’s Police Academies starting the week of March 6 through graduation the week of April 12 at the Marathon airport Sheriff’s hanger. There will be three separate academies held during that time. In the Upper Keys, classes will meet at the Roth Building on Plantation Key. In the Middle Keys, classes will meet at the Sheriff’s Office Aviation Hanger in Marathon. In the Lower Keys, classes will meet at the Sheriff’s Headquarters building on Stock Island. Attendees will be asked to commit to spending one night a week between the hours of 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. including one ridealong with a deputy. Classes will be held in the individual district holding the academy.

Space is limited. Contact Upper Keys Captain Don Fanelli, 305-8533211 or dfanelli@keysso.net for more information.

18

leisure

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

BRIEFLY

Seminars planned for History and Discovery Center

The movie list Watch it once, watch it twice, watch these movies whether you’re naughty or nice…

KRISTEN LIVENGOOD kristen@keysweekly.com

1. The Classic A Christmas Story (1983) We can’t resist Ralphie and his quest to get a Red Ryder Air Rifle, and not shoot his eye out. Plus, with 24 hours of play on TBS on Christmas Day, who can resist seeing it at least once during Christmas.

The tongue on the pole still makes us giggle.

2. The Cartoon The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (1966) “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch,” sums up December evenings watching the great old school movies like “The Grinch” and “Rudolph” from a pre-digital animation era. And, although Jim Carrey kills it as The Grinch in 2000’s live action feature, we opt for the classic for this one.

This list has been compiled off several Facebook posts asking “What’s the Best Christmas movies?” So, we are sure some are missing, but this covers the gauntlet.

3. The Comedy Four Christmases (2008) Okay, okay — Tim Allen, Will Farrell, and Chevy Chase will always be known as the funnymen of Christmas movies. But there’s something about Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon missing their flight and getting stuck at their (four) dysfunctional family’s houses for a good laugh, and a happy ending.

It’s good stuff.

4. The Can’t Miss It National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) The quote-ability of the movie alone puts it at top of the list for Christmas comedies and classics.

Clark Griswold and Cousin Eddie’s shenanigans land them at the top for can’t miss Christmas movies.

5. The not-so Christmassy Christmas movies Die Hard (1988) Several movies have an underlying Christmas theme, but aren’t really meant to be Christmassy.

Key West’s Becki Balcer’s favorite non-Christmas movie: “’Gremlins,’ because who doesn’t like to see a town get ransacked by evil green creatures on Christmas Eve,” she said.

Upcoming presentation topics range from a documentary on Dr. Henry Perrine, the Civil War in South Florida, and Calusa Indians. Mark your calendar now for the following upcoming presentations at the Keys History and Discovery Center in Islamorada: • Wednesday, Jan. 1: Life and Times of Dr. Henry Perrine, documentary film screening, 11 a.m., 2 p.m., 4 p.m., and 6 p.m. Includes brief remarks by filmmaker Steven DeGroodt.

• Wednesday, Jan. 25: The Civil War in South Florida, 1861-1865, with FAU Archaeologist Sara Ayers-Rigsby.

• Wednesday, Feb. 8: The Calusa, Keys and Cuba Connection, with Archaeologist Theresa Schober.

Doors to the Discovery Center open at 5 p.m., to allow guests to see current exhibits. Presentations begin at 6 p.m. Members of the Discovery Center are free. Cost for non-members is $25, which includes admission and light appetizers. A cash bar in available. Reservations are strongly suggested and can be made via email at info@keysdiscovery.com or by calling 305-922-2237.

Sheriff announces next citizen’s academies The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office will be holding its next Citizen’s Police Academies starting the week of March 6 through graduation the week of April 12 at the Marathon airport Sheriff’s hanger. There will be three separate academies held during that time. In the Upper Keys, classes will meet at the Roth Building on Plantation Key. In the Middle Keys, classes will meet at the Sheriff’s Office Aviation Hanger in Marathon.

In the Lower Keys, classes will meet at the Sheriff’s Headquarters building on Stock Island. Attendees will be asked to commit to spending one night a week between the hours of 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. including one ridealong with a deputy. Students attend classes in their own district.

Space is limited. Contact Upper Keys Captain Don Fanelli, 305-8533211 or dfanelli@keysso.net; Middle Keys Captain Gene Thompson, 305289-2430 or gthompson@keysso.net; or Lower Keys Captain Don Hiller, 305-745-3184 or dhiller@keysso.net for more information.

CHRISTMAS

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

Re-gifting Do’s and Don’ts Don’t re-gift recklessly!

T

Hays Blinckmann is an oil painter, author of the novel “In The Salt,” lover of all things German including husband, children and Bundesliga.

She spends her free time developing a font for sarcasm, testing foreign wines and failing miserably at home cooking.

here is a definite nuance to re-gifting.

The mere act of passing along an unwanted gift isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Repackaging gift soap, candles, wine, or chocolates can be rife with potential mistakes and Emily Post no-nos. During the holiday season, friends, neighbors and family come to your home bringing the dutiful token — “since you invited me over, here is something in festive paper.” Beware, sometimes the gift itself may already be a re-gift, making the situation super tricky. That means, the gift has already begun its “half life” (yes, like uranium) and well, it can be radioactive to your social status. Here’s what you need to consider before re-gifting …

1. Is it suitable to re-gift? Ask yourself, is it alive, moving, chirping? Monogrammed in hot pink?

Inscribed with a special “Thanks for picking me up at MCSO!” or simply as used as a dirty towel?

That would be an automatic hot mess. No and sorry, that one’s a family keeper.

2. Does this re-gift have any conflict of interest?

In other words, DO NOT hand the gift from your mother to your mother-in-law (bad, bad idea).

Or from co-worker to co-worker or neighbor to neighbor — those eagle-eye givers will rat you out in a heartbeat with one passive aggressive, “Why I gave you one just like this, Marge.” That’s a re-gifting FAIL. 3. Does the poor recipient even want the gift/regift? I mean, really, will the recovering alcoholic neighbors appreciate the $8 chardonnay? But, hey, you know who will? Your youngest co-worker-of legal age scrimping on a budget, so pass on that cheap buzz to someone who needs it!

Just like a regular gift, take a moment and realize who really is deserving of this re-gift.

4. Lastly, and this is very important, remember to change the damn paper. Don’t try to refasten the Scotch tape, that never works and is the number one re-gift faux pas. Pay extra special attention while rewrapping the re-gift and splurge for new ribbons and bows in order to try and fool ol’ judgy eyes himself, karma.

“Haphazard re-gifting is insensitive and obvious.”

— Anna Post, of The Emily Post Institute

19

A Keys Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas in the Florida Keys, Nothing was stirring, but a balmy breeze.

Our swim suits hung between palm trees to dry.

Key Limes were juiced to make traditional pie.

Spiny lobster were chillin’ for the big feast Christmas Day. My family slept soundly, tired from swimmin’ in the Bay. Suddenly, I heard a loud splash coming from out on the ocean.

I raced to the porch deck seeking the cause of commotion.

My eyes couldn’t believe it as I looked down below, Eight dolphins were swimming with Santa Claus in tow!

He was at the helm of a Contender waving and grinning.

My heart beat quickly and my head was spinning.

He wore a mask, a snorkel, and black dive boots.

His chubby body was covered by a red wet suit.

Santa’s face was weathered from days spent in the sun.

To the center of his back, a bleached-out pony tail hung.

He navigated up the canal and anchored at our dock.

When he swiftly jumped out, I watched in shock.

Then he climbed up the stairs in a leap and a bound, Carrying his sack in hand without making a sound.

He whispered “Merry Christmas,” as he swiftly passed by me, And he entered our stilt house headed for the decorated tree.

He pulled out fishing poles, crab nets, and spears, Lobster traps, tackle boxes, and the newest SCUBA gear.

There were itsy bitsy bikinis and tropical swim trunks, And coins from the Atocha that had been long ago sunk.

He laid out colorful beach towels next to Jimmy Buffet CD’s, And Maui Jim sunglasses to reflect the sun off the sea.

There were all sizes of Sloppy Joe T-shirts and Captain Tony caps, And vibrant Guy Harvey artwork with nautical charts and maps.

He tossed beach balls, paddleboards, shovels with pails, And from a branch he hung keys to a sleek boat to sail.

I tried to say thank you, but couldn›t utter a word, But it didn›t matter, my grateful heart was heard.

After he finished his task, he stood proudly with his hands on his hips.

Then looked up as if forgetting something, and placed a finger to his lips.

The old seaman›s eyes misted, as he walked towards the door.

And he paused and turned to give one special gift more.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and whispered once again, «Peace, love, and happiness to all my Keys friends.»

— Marce Jo Toll, Cudjoe Key

20

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

• CLASSIFIEDS, PUBLIC & LEGAL NOTICES • 305.743.0844

Now Hiring!

Air Conditioning Service Technician / Installer Appliance Service Technician Competitive wages & benefits 100% medical • Matching 401K Vacation • Paid Holidays

Drug Free

Apply at:

2735 Overseas Highway Marathon 305-289-1748

Vacasa is seeking a Maintenance Technician to manage home improvements and perform preventive maintenance on vacation units in Marathon. $15-$18/hr and benefits. Must have reliable transportation.

Apply online at

www.vacasa.com/careers

We Buy Gold Locally!

Cash Flow Jewelry and Pawn

Rare opportunity to lease a highly visible retail/office/business space on US 1. Adjacent to Walgreens and Publix with great exposure to the public. This 1000 Sq. Ft unit comes with central AC and a bathroom. $1,400.00 mo. (First and 1 month deposit.)

Townsquare Mall Marathon

For information contact: Nelson Lopez, 954-336-4888

Rewarding stable jobs with excellent benefits!!!

Marina, Bar & Grill

NOW HIRING:

LINE COOK

The Turtle Hospital in Marathon Is seeking a full-time Educational Program Guide/Gift Shop Sales.

Public speaking & retail sales experience and marine turtle knowledge helpful. Send resume to: turtlehosp@aol.com

Full-Time (Habla Espanol) Vacation Pay Health Insurance with NO COST to employee Overtime Available

Apply in Person: 1200 Oceanview Avenue (Off 15th Street)

Marathon (305) 743-5317

The Hammocks at Marathon

FULL TIME JOB OPPORTUNITIES $250 Sign-On Bonus!

• Repair and Maintenance Engineer • Recreation-Activities Associate Camp Counselor Experience Outdoor activities a plus.

• Housekeeping Room Attendant

GREAT BENEFITS:

Medical, dental, and vision insurance, 4 weeks’ vacation, 401k match & much more.

Online: jobs.bluegreenvacations.com

Maintenance Manager

In Person at The Hammocks: 1688 Overseas Highway, Gulf Side, Mile Marker 48, Marathon Or Call Carlos 305-743-9009

Experience is necessary in the following areas: Plumbing Electrical AC Pool Maintenance Carpentry and troubleshooting Must be task oriented and hands on with strong leadership qualities.

Salary Based on Experience Position does include Complementary Accommodations & a Health Insurance Allowance!

Send cover letter with resume to: mshamkin@limetreebayresort.com NO PHONE CALLS

eoe

OFFICE SPACES FOR RENT Office spaces FOR RENT starting at $250/mo.

Parking spaces also available.

Located on US 1, Cudjoe Key. 305-304-0776

“Uplifting the human spirit since 1973”

THE GUIDANCE/CARE CENTER, Inc.

IN MARATHON • Registered Nurse (PT/FT) • Behavioral Health Tech (PT/FT) • Peer Specialist (PT) • Maintenance Specialist • Psychiatrist (PT, Contract) • Pharmacist (PT, Contract) • Fiscal Assistant • Care Coordinator • Wellness Program Coordinator

IN KEY WEST • Front Desk Specialist • Adult Case Manager • Behavioral Health Therapists • Psychiatrist (PT/contract) • Driver

TO APPLY:

Accepting Employment Applications for:

The Guidance/Care Center, Inc, a division of

Visit www.guidancecarecenter.org or http://careers.westcare.com to apply.

EEOC/DFWP, Bilingual a plus; Drug & background screening required.

HELP WANTED Cooks • Lead Baker • Pastry Cook P/T Licensed Massage Therapist Cosmetologist • P/T Porter GREAT COMPANY BENEFITS Please apply in person at 28500 Overseas Highway, Little Torch Key

21

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

• CLASSIFIEDS, PUBLIC & LEGAL NOTICES • 305.743.0844 AUTOS FOR SALE

KEY WEST KIA A Wellings Automotive Company

AUTOS FOR SALE 1963 Pontiac Grand Prix -almost entirely original parts and interior. Blue inside and out. Great condition. $12,500. For more details or more pictures, call 305-7337901. Located in Marathon.

2826 North Roosevelt Blvd.

Key West, FL (305) 295-8646 www.KeyWestKia.com

WELLINGS AUTOMOTIVE 9200 Overseas Highway Marathon, FL (305) 509-7499 www.KeyWestKia.com

Call us and SAVE, SAVE, SAVE 2014 Kia Rio $10790 2015 Hyundai Accent Low Miles $10990 2013 Hyundai Velostar $12990 2008 Jeep Wrangler Sahara $13990 2016 Ram 1500 4dr Pickup $21990 2014 Audi Q5 Premium $25990 2016 Ford Explorer Limited $31990

Tax, tag and DOC fee not included in sale price.

KEY WEST KIA A Wellings Automotive Company 2826 North Roosevelt Blvd.

Key West, FL (305) 295-8646 www.KeyWestKia.com

WELLINGS AUTOMOTIVE 9200 Overseas Highway Marathon, FL (305) 509-7499 www.KeyWestKia.com

Call us and

SAVE SAVE SAVE

AUTOS WANTED ALL YEARS! Junk or Used. Cars - Vans Trucks - RVs. Running or Not. CASH 305-332-0483E BOATS FOR SALE 1974 36ft Trojan Cruiser, Twin 454 gas motors. Project boat at marina. $2000 305-522-6598 D

EMPLOYMENT

Looking for an Alarm Technician with current w o r k i n g knowledge of intelligent fire alarm systems.

Email deborahg @ barnesalarm systems. com for more information and application.

Housekeeper, MM 80 Islamorada, FL Call 305-962-5243.

Posicion de limpieza.

MM 80, Islamorada, FL. Llame a 305-9625243.

HIRING - Island Time Diner Ice Cream & Deli is hiring for nights and weekends ice cream and deli worker.

Applicants must be at least 18 years old and supply references.

Please apply at 5187 Overseas Hwy, Marathon - next to Office Depot.

Seeking RN’s and LPN’s, F/T and P/T, 12 hours shifts. We offer a competitive wage and benefits program. To apply for position, Please submit your Resume to: BOL@PLANTATION KEYNC.COM. NOW HIRING: Servers, Bartender, Line Cook and Day-time Dishwasher. Please apply in person at Nowhere Bar & Grill, 11399 Overseas Hwy, MM 53, Marathon.

305-998-4451

EMPLOYMENT LOOKING FOR Wait Staff, Food Runners & Hosts. Established busy restaurant must apply in Person.

Sparky’s Landing, Key Colony Beach

Advertising sales professional sought for temporary position for local tourism-centric creative printed publication.

Could turn into longerterm. Compensation well above typical potential. Key West and Lower Keys. For more details contact sales@ wanderingdog creations. com or call 305-495-2820.

Seeking stable happy

energetic personality for PT sales position in fun gift shop. Must be year-round Marathon resident; retirees welcome. Stop in to schedule appointment at 11528 Overseas Highway Marathon

Construction Foreman

wanted. Needs Vehicle. Pay commensurate with experience.

Call 305-304-7995 Looking for i n d e p e n d e nt w o r k e r . M u s t have vehicle Great pay and training included. Call 305-304-7995 Servers & Bartenders Needed Full Time Please apply during business hours. Key Colony Inn, 700 W. Ocean Dr. Key Colony NOW HIRING: Sweet Savannah’s is now hiring for evening shifts.Please Apply In Person. 8919 Overseas Hwy in Marathon NOW HIRING Lunch & Dinner Shifts, Full Time Only with Experience. Apply in person, Grassy Key Outpost, MM 58

EXP. HELP ONLY needed for all positions. Apply in person Mon-Fri 1011am @ Sunset Grille & Raw Bar Knights Key Blvd. Marathon M e c h a n i c , SMALL ENGINE, Full or Part Time.

Long term employment. (305) 852-0600

HIRED

EMPLOYMENT

FOR RENT - HOMES

FINISH CARPENTER Must have tools & transportation.

Marathon - KCB area.

Call 305-289-8331 HIRED MARATHON - Full-time Office Position - Diversified full time position Tue-Sat 9 to 5 for an outgoing people person with solid Microsoft programs background and skills as well as selfstarter. Middle Keys resident preferred Please provide references with your resume. Previous applicants need not apply. drenda@ cbschmitt.com HIRED

Unit and pool.

Dockage avail., $1 0 0 / m o n t h .

B o n n i e @A m e r i ca n Caribbean 305-7437636

FISHING MISC. ALL TYPES OF PERMITS! Rock Shrimp, King Fish, Atlantic Snapper, Grouper Gulf, 6 Pack Reef & Pelagic.

Commercial Gulf Reef Fish, Gulf Snapper IFQ’s, Long Line pkg. Many other permits avail. We buy, sell & broker all types of permits. Call before you buy or sell!

Please call for prices.

Licensed & Bonded.

All permits guaranteed valid for transfer. Many ref’s avail.

John Potts Jr. 321784-5982 or 321- 3 02- 363 0 www.shipsusa.com

FOR RENT COMMERCIAL

Commercial property for rent 8900 ft. of retail space in Old Town Marathon, 1757 Overseas Highway.

Royal Furniture, Call Ryan 305-481-1791.

FOR RENT RESIDENTIAL Annual 1/1 ground level condo overlooking Boot Key Harbor, Furnished, everything included (water, electric, cable, wifi. $1875 per month. Laundry in

FOR RENT 2 bed/1 bath Mobile Home with dock. Tropical Lane, Key Largo. $1500 F/L/S call 305522-6598.

Sea Isle Condos in KCB is offering a large 1BA, 1BD condo suitable for 1 or 2 non smoking professionals.

6 mth., lease that could possibly extend longer term $1400.00 mth, includes, electric, cable, water, private beach, heated pool. Assigned parking for 1 car, additional guest parking available. A non pet community. 1101 W. Ocean Drive. Please call Kristen at 305 743 0173 or email at sea7430173@aol. com.

REDUCED: Beautiful SeaWatch Condo - 2 Bedroom, 2 Bath with Den for possible 3rd Bedroom. Fully Furnished, Basic Cable Included. No Pets.

Great Workout Room & Pool. $2,750 per month (negotiable).

Call Bonnie at ACRE Sales 305-393-2691

RENTED

FOR RENT RV LOTS RV Lots for rent.

MM 103, Morris Avenue. 305-522-6598 FOR SALE RESIDENTIAL Duplex For Sale in Marathon. 2BD/2BA each side. Excellent condition, long term tenants. $399,000 Financing available.

Call 305-664-1286 Trailer for Sale in Galway Bay, 55+, 1BD/1BA, with twin beds.

Away from the highway!

Good parking, $9,500 Call (231) 668-1866 SOLD IN JUST 4 DAYS! HOBBIES / COLLECTIBLES SELLING OLD NAUTICAL

items.

Lanterns, Chelsea Ship Clocks, Ship Wheels, Binnacles, Vents,

COLLECTIBLES Signs & 1/2 Hulls.

ALSO BUYING. Call Lou 603-455-6106 PRIVATE COLLECTOR WANTS Rolex, Dive watches and Pilot watches. Old model Military clocks & watches. Call 305743-4578 LEGAL NOTICES

LEGAL NOTICES Statutes on Legal and Official Advertisements. The Weekly Newspapers are distributed from Key Largo to Key West. Call (305) 743-0844, Fax (305) 7430866 or E-mail: anneke@ keysweekly.com.

The Weekly Newspapers are in full compliance with Chapter 50 of the Florida State

Plantation Key Nursing Center

located in Tavernier, is seeking

C.N.A.

12 hr shifts days and nights available $500.00 sign on bonus for all new applicants We offer a competitive wage and benefits program.

To apply for position, Please submit your Resume to BOL@PLANTATIONKEYNC.COM

NEED SOME CASH? SELL YOUR CAR - OR BOAT - OR SOFA! For as little as $55/week, your AD (with or without photo) will be seen from Key Largo to Key West. Call 305-743-0844 or email lynda@keysweekly.com today.

22

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

• CLASSIFIEDS, PUBLIC & LEGAL NOTICES • 305.743.0844

MARATHON GARBAGE SERVICE We are now hiring for the following positions:

1987 34' Crusader $65,000 OBO

originally built & cert. CG • 17 passenger www.redboat.listingseller.com 305-923-1358 • 305-304-4600

Diesel Mechanic Truck Helpers CDL Drivers

WELL Maintained 1200 sg. ft., 3BD, 2BA on quiet Grassy Key, MM 57 Gulfside. SS appliances, galley kitchen, W/D, central A/C, tile in kitchen and living area, crown molding. Wood flooring in master bedroom. Accordion shutters, sewer complete. Nature habitat across the street. Walk 3 blocks to the Gulf. Priced to sell! $389,900. Call for appointment 305-481-5168.

HIRING! Full & Part Time Positions.

Now Hiring in Marathon

TELLER We are looking for experienced, friendly, outgoing applicants with excellent customer service skills to assist customers in handling transactions. Must be flexible and able to work Saturdays. Teller experience and/or excellent customer service skills required. To apply, please go to www.my100bank.com, then click Careers. For assistance contact HR@my100bank.com.

EEO/AA/M/F/Veteran/Disabled

Apply in Person.

Grassy Key Outpost 58152 Overseas Hwy.

Sweet Savannah’s Bake Shop is now hiring for evening shifts.

Please Apply In Person 8919 Overseas Hwy in Marathon

NOW HIRING Bartenders /Servers Full/Part Time

Apply in Person or office@marathonyachtclub.com

Applicants must apply in person to be considered.

4290 Overseas Hwy, Marathon

MARATHON YACHT CLUB

825 33rd. ST Marathon, Fl. EOE

CoCo’s General Store NOW HIRING:

Part-time Deli and/or Retail Sales.

Apply in person at 50 Coco Plum Drive, Marathon 305-743-7743

!

Bluegreen Vacations The Hammocks at Marathon SE BUSCA PERSONA PARA LIMPIEZA DE HABITACIONES Uso de equipos de limpieza

$250.00 Bono a los 60 Dias UNA GRAN COMPAÑIA CON GRANDES BENEFICIOS Plan De Seguro Médico, Dental y de Visión, 4 semanas de Vacaciones, Cuenta de Retiro 401k, Potencial de Crecimiento y muchos beneficios más!!!

APLICA HOY MISMO: jobs.bluegreenvacations.com

LLÁMANOS HOY:

305-289-6700

!

Management positions @ Fairvilla's Sexy Things (524 Front Street, Key West Florida 33040)

THE MOORINGS

MM 81.5 Seeking self-motivated people for

General Housekeeping Fax Resumes to 1-305-664-4242 or pick up an application at 123 Beach Rd. Islamorada

Applicants must be open minded & personable with the ability to lead others.

Should enjoy interacting with customers, and be a responsible self-starter with computer skills & the ability to focus on details.

Reply to this job posting by sending all of the following to Cherie@fairvilla.com: Letter of interest on the available position • Current resume & your availability & include your favorite joke PLEASE NOTE: Emails that only include a resume without a letter of interest will NOT be considered. • Applicants must be 18 years of age or older.

HIRING FOR THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS:

Immediate opening for a HVAC Service Technician

General Manager Servers, Busperson, Bartender and Food Runners.

Upper & Middle Keys.

Great Pay • Paid Holidays • Sick Pay • Medical Insurance • Paid Vacation

Please apply on line at www.spottswood.com/careers or on site 13201 Overseas Highway. EOE m/f/d/v

171 Hood Ave • MM 91.5 • Tavernier p 305-852-2960 • f 305-852-0656

Apply in person

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

let’s do business - (305) 743-0844 Rent the Legendary Keys Cruisers $45 per week includes baskets-locks-lights

We also rent Kayaks

Free Delivery, Free Pick Up & Free Snow Removal Marathon and Key Colony Beach

305-743-3204

www.bikemarathonbikerentals.com

All Keys Real Estate

Brenda Alexander

Broker Associate

Selling The Florida Keys...

10055 Overseas Highway Marathon, FL 33050 305-481-5156 (Direct) www.KeysIslandSales.com Brenda@KeysIslandSales.com Each Office Independently Owned and Operated

NEW & REPAIR

305-664-0099 www.TikiHuts.com

STATE CERTIFIED THATCHING CONTRACTOR CYC 000002

Karen Raspe, P.A.

9141 Overseas Hwy. Marathon, FL 33050

karen@acresales.com 305.393.9010

Kitchen Cabinets Sales REAL Wood Cabinets at Particle Board Prices KitchenKorner/Fred's Beds 1333 O/S Hwy, MM 53.5 • 305-743-7277

Ceramic Tile We Do Porcelain Installations!

Marble Licensed & Insured Granite Tops FREE ESTIMATES & 109th St, Marathon Floor & Wall Tiles U.S.1 (Across from Beall’s Outlet) Carpets Lic#SP-3562 289-3019

DOT PALM, Inc. LANDSCAPING & TREE SERVICES

SP 3636

TREE CLIMBER WANTED F R E E E S T I M AT E S FREE

MULCH

WWW.DOTPALMS.COM

Aargh Golf Carts Maintenance & Service Mobile Golf Cart & LSV Service & Repair Fully licensed & factory trained Locally owned and operated Used & Custom Cart Sales

(305) 743-6656 aarghgolfcarts.com

LEARN HOW TO DANCE

Taoist Tai Chi® Looking for balance?

Join us for our Open House in Marathon Wednesday, January 11th, 6:30pm St. Columba Episcopal Church, 52nd Street, Gulf

(305) 748-0799 - keylargo.fl@taoist.org www.taoist.org/usa

Ballroom & Latin Dance Private & Group Lessons First Lesson Free!

Theo & Ganine’s DANCE CENTER 305-766-3428 Gulfside Village #40

Gift Certificates Available

23

24

Upper Keys Weekly / december 23, 2016

MODELS OPEN 231 SOMBRERO BEACH ROAD MARATHON FL

PHASE 1 SOLD OUT!

PRIVATE POOLS

DESIGNER KITCHENS

FINAL PHASE NOW OPEN’s FROM MID 600

PRIVATE DOCKS

180MPH WIND RATING

INSURANCE SAVINGS

305-735-4682 www.thenewhomespot.com

BROKER PARTICIPATION WELCOME PRICES, TERMS, CONDITIONS, SIZES, AND ARTIST RENDERINGS ARE ESTIMATES AND FINAL PRODUCT MAY VARY AND SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE. ADVERTISING NOT PART OF BINDING AGREEMENT AND MAY NOT BE RELIED UPON. EXCLUSIVLY REPRESENTED BY THE NEW HOME SPOT, INC.