Comic zone

Laughter, the best medicine!!

By Edel Q. Mwende

Smart grandma in hospital: How to keep yourself informed A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?”

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302.”

The operator replied, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.”

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.”

The grandmother said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.”

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302.

Pain transfer A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented the new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch. Oops... I guess the husband is NOT the father!!!

OUR VISION A world class patient-centered specialized care hospital

OUR MISSION To optimize patient experience through innovative healthcare; facilitate training and research; and participate in national health policy formulation

OUR MOTTO We Listen, We Care

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Inspirational Quotes

1. “From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.” —Franz Kafka 2. “One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” —André Gide 3. “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” —Soren Kierkegaard 4. “Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.” —Ella Williams 5. “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” —Winston Churchill 6. “Never be ashamed to admit you are in the wrong—it’s just another way to say you are wiser today than yesterday.” —Jonathan Swift 7. “The person who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.” —Edward John Phelps 8. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” —Marianne Williamson 9. “The other side of every fear is a freedom.” —

Marilyn Ferguson 10. “For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson 11. “Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.” —

Theodore Isaac Rubin 12. “The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.” —John

Southard