8 minute read
Authors and Experts
Tamara Letter and The Gift of Kindness
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On Thursday, October 15, Kent School hosted author, educator and parent, Tamara Letter. Letter is the author of the book, A Passion for Kindness: Making the World a Better Place to Lead, Love and Learn. Her virtual visit was made possible by Kent School’s endowed Kudner Leyon Memorial Fund, which provides funding to bring authors and illustrators to school to work with students, employees and families each year. Ms. Letter led virtual sessions with Kent School students and employees prior to a public Town Hall for parents and our broader commuity.
Tamara Letter shares, “I began my writing journey in 2012, creating a blog to celebrate kindness for my 40th birthday. Five years later, I expanded my writing to include topics of leadership, education, and parenting on my website, which has been shared across social media platforms, on websites, and in magazine articles. On February 14, 2019, I released my first book, A Passion for Kindness: Making the World a Better Place to Lead, Love, and Learn, which was listed as a #1 New Release on Amazon for Philosophy and Social Aspects of Education and a Recommended Summer Reading choice by the National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP).”
Nancy Mugele, Head of School at Kent School, selected A Passion for Kindness: Making the World a Better Place to Lead, Love and Learn, as a book for all Kent School employees to read over the summer. Mugele said, “In this uncertain world in which we live, I believe if we can approach situations, topics, and dialog from a place of kindness, it can help us develop empathetic children who become empathetic adults and leaders. Ms. Letter’s book is the perfect springboard for us to build kindness, empathy and respect for others by sharing simple ways to positively inspire those around us. In my planning conversations with Tamara, I have been inspired by her passion and enthusiasm.”
From her website, “Tamara Letter is a kindness cultivator who strives each day to add a little good to the world. In her book, A Passion for Kindness, Tamara Letter shares her own kindness journey and showcases experiences from other kindness cultivators around the world. Through personal stories of vulnerability and vitality, readers will discover unique ways to make a positive difference in the lives of friends, family, coworkers, neighbors and even strangers.”
Professional Development with Higher Learning Group and Kaliq Simms
In opening meetings in August the employee group participated in a workshop with the Higher Learning Group, led by its founder Kaliq Simms, on implicit cultural bias and how it relates to race in the classroom. Kaliq launched the Higher Learning Group in 2015 and through her firm, she chairs the Baltimore Student Diversity Leadership Conference with the Association of Independent Maryland and DC Schools. Higher Learning Group’s mission is to collaborate with schools, community partners, families, teachers, and student leaders to promote diversity, educational equity, and inclusion. As educators, the Higher Learning Group affirms students’ uniqueness and equips them with in-depth knowledge of self, empathy for others, and critical consciousness of the world so that they may employ their education in the service of humanity no matter the field they may enter.
To prepare for our workshop Kaliq assigned the employee group to read Waking Up White and Finding Myself in the Story of Race by teacher, Debby Irving. As an arts administrator, Irving could not understand why her diversity efforts lacked traction. One “aha!” moment launched her adventure of discovery and insight that drastically shifted her worldview. In Waking Up White, Irving shares her story with openness. “Waking Up White is the book I wish someone had handed me decades ago,” she wrote. “My hope is that by sharing my sometimes cringe-worthy struggle to understand racism and racial tensions, I offer a fresh perspective on bias, stereotypes, manners, and tolerance.”
The key element Kent School employees focussed on was how we can best connect with our students and overcome barriers that are a part of normal human behavior. The employee group shared thoughtful conversations and reflections at this time in the history of our country and the history of our school. Our faculty continues to review their curriculum throughout this year to be sure to have connected stories and historical texts to reflect the diverse world in which our students live and will one day lead.
Our work in this area will continue with another session in our closing meetings in June.
Jess Lahey and The Gift of Failure
Kent School was proud to host Kudner Leyon Visiting Writer Jessica Lahey for three sessions to discuss her New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Lahey met with students in grades 4 through 8 on the afternoon of January 27. Following dismissal that day, Lahey led a session specifically for all Kent School teachers. Later that evening parents and members of the greater community were invited to join Jess for a virtual Town hall meeting. She also shared her thoughts on the gift of failure in this time of COVID. According to her website, “Over her twenty years as a middle and high school teacher, Lahey began to suspect that the way we parent children has a direct impact on their motivation, learning, resilience, and the development of obsessive perfectionism and performance anxiety. A deep dive into the research bore this hypothesis out, and resulted in the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and over five years of helping students, teachers, and parents understand that directive parenting and teaching undermines kids’ motivation, makes them more likely to give up when tasks get difficult, and ultimately, renders them less able to learn and become more intelligent. “
Lahey offers practical advice for fostering deep, meaningful learning by offering kids more autonomy at home and in school, helping them feel more competent, and strengthening parentchild and teacher-student relationships. Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting, yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators,
and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.”
Nancy Mugele, Head of School said, “Kudner Leyon Visiting Writer Jessica Lahey inspired students, employees, and our parent community and guests to embrace failure and be able to learn from it. Through each presentation she helped us understand complex cognitive neuroscience, and made the case that children learn and develop best when they are given autonomy, allowed to feel competent and valued for their character rather than the letters on their report card, and who CONNECT with teachers and their learning. She also provided actionable recommendations to help us reframe setbacks as beneficial steps toward lasting, longer-term success”.
Lahey said “Kids need the space to fail, and teachers need the time and benefit of the doubt to let that failure play out in the form of learning.” Jess asked our students what she should tell their parents. They emailed her responses and here are a few: • When you look at my phone all the time it makes me feel as if you don’t trust me. • When you step in and save me from my frustration or mistakes, it makes me feel as if you don’t think I can do it myself.
Mugele continued, “I was so pleased to bring Jess Lahey to our community. When I read her practical and insightful book, I was struck by her premise that parents have the power to grant students the freedom to fail, and teachers have the ability to transform that failure into an education. Together, parents and educators can nurture our children to become more confident and competent adults. If you hear your child say to you, “when you do X, it makes me feel Y,” you will know that they are taking Jess Lahey’s advice to use their voice to help you better understand how they are feeling.
Jess Lahey is a teacher, writer, and mom. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Atlantic, Vermont Public Radio, The Washington Post and the New York Times, and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids’ The Stinky and Dirty Show. Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons. Her second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, will be released in April 2021.
Lahey’s talk is made possible by the Kudner Leyon Memorial Endowment at Kent School. This fund allows Kent School to bring authors, illustrators and experts in child development to campus each year to work with students, teachers, and parents. The Kudner Leyon Visiting Writers Program is named for Ariana Kudner and Amanda Leyon, members of Kent School’s Class of 1991, who shared a love of reading, books and creative writing. Sadly, Ariana and Amanda lost their lives in a tragic car accident in 1994. This program is a wonderful and lasting tribute to their legacy and touches every student at Kent School each academic year.
