Rochester Woman Online Feb/Mar 2023

FEB/MAR

{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }

REGULARS

REGULARS

140

LEADERSHIP, LIFE & LIFESTYLE

74

WOMAN ON THE RISE Lisa Cove

122

WHAT ABOUT THE MEN Nate Taylor

58

110

A CULTURE OF BELONGING

WOMAN WHO INSPIRES Jeiri Flores Theresa Oschmann

170

WALKING WARRIOR

264

KARMA SPEAKS

144

CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS

260

ANIMAL CARE SANCTUARY CORNER

100

WOMAN YOU NEED TO KNOW Dr Rashida Clarke

180

NEW IN THE ROC Flight Wine Bar

88

ONE TOUGH MOTHER

2674 RWO SHORTS

6

84

FOR A GOOD CAUSE The Sunny Mike Foundation

114

ONE TOUGH MOTHER

188

STAGING TIPS WITH SUZANNE

196

QUEEN OF COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATEs

130

THE LORI FACTOR

222

WORKING WITH PASSION

217

ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY

208

QUEEN OF ARTS

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HEALTH & WELLNESS 94

MINUTES MATTER

242

ALZHEIMERS ASSOCIATION

252

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

SPECIAL FEATURES 36

THE WEDDING DRESS

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178

16 COVER STORY Suzanne Fatta

48 SHE’S A BOSS

156

90

SHE HUSTLES TALKS Tarshia Shanai

148 IN HER OWN WORDS Cherry Rae

278 MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE

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{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

““The world needs strong women.

Women who will lift and build others, who will love and be loved, women who live bravely, both tender and fierce, women of indomitable will.” – Amy Tenney” This month we are excited to be able to bring you an internationally known opera singer, model, and woman entrepreneur for our cover story. Please welcome Suzanne Fatta, or as many know her as Carmina Suzanne. Read all about her amazing story starting on page [16].

PLUS, she even is bringing us a special feature in her journey and story about her incredible wedding dress. You won’t want to miss reading this unique highlight on the perfect dress for the perfect day.

Did you know Rochester Woman is so much more then just an online publication? We host events, provide branding and marketing for clients, do LIVE video showcases and more. We are all about providing our community of women everything they need to be successful!

Know someone who would be perfect for a cover, a feature or a highlight? Do you have a business that is you want tot promote to an audience of over 100k? CONTACT ME TODAY at networkrocqueen@gmail.com.

Kelly

T T ON OUR COVER On our February/March 2023 cover we have Suzanna Fatta photographed by internationally known photographer Jose Pagan.

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{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER FREELANCE EDITOR

Kelly Breuer Marisa Zeppieri

CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN

Kelly Breuer

LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER

Jose Pagan

PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES

L Shot Photography Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Julie Oldfield Makenna Rivazfar Doug Hansgate Carmina Suzanne Robin DeWind Lisa Wagner Hannah McGoff Denise “Karma” Clifford Cherry Rae Amy Bliss Beth Parry Cindy DeCarolis Angela McClarrie Bunce Christine Piacentino Devan Robinson Jessica L Koston Kaitlyn Vittozzi Maya McNulty Teresa Galbier Joshua Michael King Lori Bruton Lisa Wagner Alana Cahoon Tarshia Shanai Beth Bigley Suzanna Dutro Karen Putz Tyra Barton

Velvet Spicer Jeiri Flores Holly Pearson Nicole Allen Dara Petralia Casey Maura Lisa Cove Bonnie Floyd Suzanne Fatta Nate Taylor Laurie McKnight Sue Reuter

Kelly Breuer

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

Network Rochester

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Network Rochester

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the Greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www.rochesterwomanonline.com.

The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2022 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.

COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL

YOU SUZANNE ARE ENOUGH. FATTA PHOTOS BY DANA FROM ADORE STUDIO,HEROUX SHUTTERKAT PHOTOGRAPHY, DENKER, BODY LOVE BY SILVANA DENKER,

BY NICOLE WILLIAMS I PHOTOS SILVANA

BY NSP STUDIO VELVET D’AMOUR, CHERYL GORSKI

Our latest cover woman for Rochester Woman Online is a woman of many talents. An accomplished and internationally know opera singer, a plus size model, a female entrepreneur and so much more!

After talking with her for a few months about another idea for the magazine that we were planning (that is actually featured in this edition after her cover story), I said, “WOW you are so inspiring to so many... and the perfect choice for our cover, what do you think?” She graciously agreed, and here we are.

What does the word “Influential” mean to you?

It’s an interesting word because it can be both passive and active. Just by being myself, by posting photos of a happy, thriving, disabled plus model, I have been blessed to indirectly, or secretly I guess, inspire people all over the world who hate their bodies in some way. I also actively Influence

I hope you find her back story as inspiring and empowering as I did. And get ready, because she will be performing LIVE with us for our April Influential Woman Expo and then hitting our runway on July 29th for our Diamonds in the Rough Fashion Show to fight human trafficking.

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. Who is Suzanne Fatta vs. Carmina Suzanne?

Well they are definitely both me!

When I started modeling in London around 14 years ago I was in a PhD program and I chose a stage name to keep my careers separate. But here in WNY, everyone knows everyone, so most people understand me as both.

But Carmina is my model name, and everything else I do is as Suzanne.

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others through my advocacy work; my Times Square billboards, the international BodyLove campaigns, highlighting Rare Disease Day and so forth.

What is a Contralto Opera singer and how did you get started?

As my Dad always says I came out of the womb singing, and I grew up in a

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house full of opera, jazz, classical and rock. I really have been singing my whole life; I started studying classical voice as a young teenager, and my university degrees are from music conservatories. Contralto is a type of Female opera singer, the lowest and most rare. Most people think of super high Sopranos, but my voice type is the lowest you can find and there is very little written for us - there is a LOT of prejudice in the classical world against low female voices. I fight the same fight for body acceptance as a plus model as I do as a female Baritone! This is the way I was made, and I will not apologize for my voice, my body or my size. And true opera singing is vigorous and athletic, people have no idea the stamina it takes. Sometimes when I don’t have a full tank of gas (Multiple Sclerosis gives horrible fatigue) I pivot towards jazz, which is way less physically taxing.

So you are a very talented Opera singer, but also a wellknown Plus Model and owner of MODAL Productions. How did you get into the modeling industry?

I modeled in college but many health problems took me out of the game for years. Then when I was in London in my 30s for my opera career, I decided to give modeling one more go. I studied and trained really hard, and single-handedly turned myself into one of the top plus models in England within a year. I was very

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{ COVER STORY } “I opened MODAL Productions in late 2014 to mentor and develop local talent to be placed in major markets; to package artists for the business world.”

lucky to work in London and Paris at the start of my career.

Since then I have been signed in the UK, USA, Canada, France, Italy, Germany and Chile; and walked major fashion weeks including Paris Plus Fashion Week. I was even Serena Williams’ fit model at Burberry in London!

pie to go around so I am not fighting with other women over crumbs. So the best way we can empower each other is by straightening the crown of the queen next to you.

Tell us about your business MODAL Productions. What is it and how did it get started?

Rebranding myself as Curvy Confident Carmina was based on advice from my PR agent.

It gets right to the point - I am curvy, and I am selling confidence!

Tell us one thing not many people know about you.

I love love love the Rocky/ Creed movies! I’m not a boxing fan at all but I go bonkers for Rocky!

I am also a HUGE trivia nerd, usually we play four people against me and I still win (unless the final question is about sports).

I was even on Jeopardy in 2001!

What do you feel is the real key to women empowering other women?

We need to realize that when one of us rises, we all rise. This is not a zerosum game. Friendly competition is a good thing, but when it crosses the line to opportunism, that’s unethical and yucky. There are enough slices of the

I opened MODAL Productions in late 2014 to mentor and develop local talent to be placed in major markets; to package artists for the business world. I work with all sorts of clients from business professionals to public speakers, but most of my

clients are models. I also scout directly for a number of agencies around the world. My models have been placed in top agencies in NYC and Miami, and in mother agencies in Italy! My girls also walk NYFW (the real one) every year too.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.

It’s really hard to imagine a future one way or the other when you have chronic illnesses. In addition to MS, I have two rare and severe neurological disorders, three endocrine diseases, and a few more to boot.

So a lot depends on my health. That being said, my goal is to keep modeling as long as I book paying work with quality clients. At 47 years old there is no ceiling in sight! I have walked all major fashion weeks but Milano, so my Italian mother agent and I are working on that. My husband and I are starting an arts complex in Buffalo with an instrument museum, a concert space, education classes especially for immigrant and refugee children, workshops and more. And I plan to form an official organization for all the choirs I direct, to put them under one umbrella.

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COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL “We need to realize that when one of us rises, we all rise. This is not a zero-sum game.”

What are some of the pros and cons of being a plus size model, especially in such a competitive industry.

What do you feel sets you apart from others?

The main con is being in Buffalo.

When I moved back here in 2012 after 5 years in the UK, it was like walking 2 decades into the past in terms of diversity. There were NO plus models and I got treated quite terribly by designers, photographers and even design schools even though 22

I had achieved major international status. Buffalo does fantastic with racial diversity in fashion, but they pat themselves on the back and stop there. This is why I mainly work in NYC, as much as I would love to be able to model in my home town. Being a plus model in London, I never had to justify my body, my career or my place in the industry. Another reason I usually get on a plane to work. But there are amazing local designers here who do promote size diversity,

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and I’m so proud to work for them.

What sets me apart is my natural Euro look in the American market! I make most of my money shooting for my European clients here in The States.

So I have also rebranded myself “Your Favorite Euro Plus Model in NY.” My 13 years’ experience as a Model, Scout, Booker, Agency Director, Event Manager, PR Executive, Media Producer, Author/ Writer, Magazine Editor, Stylist, Creative Director and Photographer also sets me apart from

“Then when I was in

London in my 30s for my OPERA CAREER, I decided to give modeling one more go. I studied and trained really hard, and SINGLEHANDEDLY turned myself into one of the top plus models in England within a year. I was VERY LUCKY to work in London and Paris at the start of my career.

”

{ COVER STORY } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “As my Dad always says I came out of the womb singing, and I grew up in a house full of opera, jazz, classical and rock.”

other models. I am a fashion industry professional, not just a model.

If you could do one thing you have never done, what would it be and why?

I would to run away to a tropical island for a month to relax, reconnect and regulate. I have always been fascinated

by The Seychelles, Mauritius and the islands of Indonesia.

I wish I had the power of teleportation so the trip would be easier!

have worked with that has been your absolute favorite to work with, who would it be and why?

Silvana Denker, one of my best friends and the recent winner of Best Plus Photographer at the Full Figure Industry Awards, is my favorite to

What is your favorite opera to perform and why?

I specialize in Baroque opera, so that’s opera from the 17th and 18th centuries.

My favorite rôle is Farnace from an opera by Vivaldi.

No one wrote dramatic fire music like him! I can really chew the scenery in my native language Italian when I sing Vivaldi.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

Two from my Dad: Your career will happen to you, not the other way around.

And; When someone messes up or treats you badly, assume incompetence before you assume malfeasance.

From my Mom? The right thing to do may not feel good, but it will always feel right.

If you had to pick one that you 24

Square Billboard! I also love shooting with the great Velvet D’Amour, the world-famous (Rochester-born!!) plus model and photographer who walked Paris Fashion Week at a size 28 in the 1990s for John Galliano and Jean-Paul Gaultier, and debuted at Cannes. I write for and have been published in her cutting edge, avant-garde and radically pro-diversity magazine Volup2. Velvet is still a Rochester girl who loves her Bills, even though she’s been in Paris for decades.

W h a t’ s t h e m o s t important risk you ever taken? How did it play out for you?

Actually, jumping into the modeling game in my mid-30s as a plus, disabled, and not super tall model in the top fashion city in the world was a major risk! I left my PhD program and threw all my attention, energy and finances towards building my book. It paid off for sure, but at a cost.

work with! She’s an incredibly talented photographer and just as good a model; we’ve shot all over NYC and LA together, many times. She’s well known for her BodyLove by Silvana Denker campaign, we even got a Times

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What is your vision for the future? Where do you see yourself in the next 3 years? What about 5 years?

We are happily staying in Buffalo for the time being as my parents are getting older and ill, and it’s also such a beautiful, friendly, easy place to live. But my hubby, step-son and I

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{ COVER STORY } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “When I moved back here in 2012 after 5 years in the UK, it was like walking 2 decades into the past in terms of diversity. ”

would like to move to New England or Hudson Valley someday. My longterm goal is to be accepted for who and what I am, and what my body can do. I don’t ever want to explain or justify my health, age, ability level, size, shape or voice type ever again.

After that, the art and creativity comes in…

What do you think is the biggest problem facing young models, especially in the industry today?

Instagram. It’s given new life to the

Why are you passionate about being a champion for MS and helping to raise awareness?

We live in the MS capital of North America, so sadly I have a captive audience.

Many Models and Opera singers with similar autoimmune or chronic illnesses hide it for fear of being fired or ostracized. This is why I speak up even louder! I only know one other professional agency model who openly speaks about having MS, and just a few more in the opera world. I do not like that.

What do you think helped you the most to make a career as a model?

My own passion. I did not have much mentoring, and many people told me I would never make it. So my own passion, drive, talent, intelligence and development helped me the most. Also, I learned from closely watching the fashion professionals around me.

I spent the first few years soaking up everything like a sponge. Coming from the world of academia - I have an MA from Harvard - I studied modeling like I would an academic subject.

industry, but it’s also destroyed it.

My industry has been diluted with mediocracy and it makes me so sad.

Now people with no talent, no idea how to pose, and no photogeneity are being picked up by companies

to do their advertising -- for free -because they bought 30K followers.

Now everyone with an iPhone is a photographer, and anyone who got their photo taken is a model. Heck no!

I built one website once, I don’t get to call myself a web designer. First year med students cannot say they are doctors.

How is modeling any different? Real models are signed to an agency, get hired over and over, and are paid money.

Modeling is a job, career and industry in addition to being a skill and a craft, and the most successful models realize that. Modeling is a craft that takes years to develop, being pretty means nothing without the talent and the work.

If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would that be?

Stop trying to sing Soprano! That’s a joke but true. Honestly? I would say worry about your health and not your looks. Also, I used to hate my crooked front teeth but now I get booked because of them!

“Imperfections” like that are actually quite editorial. It’s Flawsome!

What is your favorite form of social media and why?

I use Facebook the most, many of ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: FEBRUARY/MARCH EDITION 2023 29

{ {SHIFT+CONTROL COVER STORY } } “I did not have much mentoring, and many people told me I would never make it. So my own passion, drive, talent, intelligence and development helped me the most.”

my friends are scattered around the world and it makes us all feel closer.

Also it’s the best way to promote the choirs I direct and the events I produce.

Would you say you are an “influencer”?

In the sense of being an Instagram Influencer/Content Creator? No. And I chose not to. I have no interest in that; I decided during the Pandemic not to dilute my brand of excellence by shooting at home. But as a high profile 30

activist for disabilities, diversity in fashion, and demanding more respect for low voiced women? Absolutely I am an Influencer!

Where will we see you next?

I produce a monthly opera cabaret series at The Bittersweet Piano Lounge in Buffalo, so you can always find me there. I sing in chamber choirs and often give solo lecture-recitals. See you at The Influential Woman’s Expo on April 22! For modeling, I am walking in 6 shows in Buffalo and Rochester

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through the fall, but of course all of it is gearing up for NYFW in September when I have some major international contracts as a model, and press passes for Fashion Maniac Magazine. And of course, I will be shooting every day for my German, Austrian and French employers!

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FROM THE RUNWAY TO THE AISLE...

BY SUZANNE FATTA I PHOTOS BY GLASER STUDIOS & MADE

BY ANATOMY

A TALE OF MY COUTURE WEDDING DREAM During New York Fashion Week February 2019, I was invited along with other plus size insiders to a special Tea held by SLiNK Magazine and 11Honoré.

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ABOUT A DRESS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“I often feel like I’m the captain of the ship, chauffeuring people off in different directions and project managing the day-to-day schedules.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

The night before, the first plus only couture show in the history of NYFW happened, so there was an incredible museum display with plus dresses shown by top shelf designers (Balenciaga, D&G). I was absolutely blown away by a raw silk fuchsia ruffled dress with a train by designer Azeeza. My friend and supermodel Christina Mendes was wearing it and it floated around her like a magical high fashion puff. I attended the launch tea with my Model bestie Silvana Denker (creator of the world-famous BodyLove

By Silvana Denker campaign), and we both got photographed by a Getty photographer, and placed in the database with Getty credits.

Shortly after, all the models who attended the launch were invited to a deeply discounted trunk show, and even though I couldn’t really afford it, I bought THAT dress! I just had to. I wore her once to a photoshoot that was published in Paris in avant-garde high fashion, diversity magazine Volup2 (founded

by Rochester native Velvet D’Amour) but basically she hung around in my closet for a few years.

When I got engaged and it was time to look for a wedding dress, I

immediately went to my good friend and tremendous designer, Ali Eagen at made by anatomy. I had modeled her wedding dresses many times before over the years so I knew the kinds of customization she was capable of. She went just as wild over the dress as I did, and we had so much fun being creative in customizing it.

Also, my weight has been fluctuating lately — this dress is open and flowy, so I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about those extra pounds. In other words, no starving myself to get into my wedding dress.

We removed the halter neck, and

opened out the shoulders to create a V-neck line. She then constructed tulip flutter sleeves in the same color chiffon because the wedding was in mid-October, so I wanted covered shoulders. Then she asked me what I thought about a Cape. At first I wasn’t so sure, because the back of the dress is knockout, stunning, but she told me she’s always dreamed of designing a cape, and never had a chance to.

So I said “Go for it! I trust you completely, you make the cape that is your heart’s delight!”

I consulted on it with her once or twice, but it really was her own creation. She made the cape detachable, so I took it off during the reception; and the really cool thing is, I can wear it again! When I make my solo debut with the BPO, you better bet that cape is going to be on top of whatever dress I’m wearing. It was a pleasure to let Ali make the Cape of her dreams, and to see her get creative with it. It meant the world to me!

I’m really into flamingos and we got engaged in the flamingo boats on Delaware Lake, so this hot pink color was very meaningful for us.

Moreover, little did I know it would become THE color of the year, causing both Versace and especially Valentino

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{ ABOUT A DRESS }

“I was absolutely blown away by a raw silk fuchsia ruffled dress with a train by designer Azeeza. My friend and supermodel Christina Mendes was wearing it and it floated around her like a magical high fashion puff.” to come out with entire lines in this exact color. And I’ll tell you I saw a lot of people in head to toe in fuchsia at fashion week last September.

My make-up artist was the phenomenal CE Eaton, Chantel is truly an enchanting artist. For my hair, my 30-year friend Rica Mendes from college came out from Connecticut for my Bardot bouffant, and then 38

attend my wedding! The headpiece was bought from my good friend Nicole Davis of Francí Jewelry, another international fashion week superstar.

Many talented women worked on this dress with me, and for me.

Last but not least? The shoes. I was going back-and-forth on what color to wear, but Ali said to go whole hog matchy matchy, so I found a pair in

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the exact same matching shade of hot pink! And it’s one of the things people commented on the most.

This dress is true couture. From the runways of London and New York Fashion Week to walking the aisle at my wedding… what an amazing journey we went on together!

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“I’m really into

FLAMINGOS and we got engaged in the flamingo boats on Delaware Lake, so this hot pink color was very MEANINGFUL for us. Moreover, little did I know it would become THE COLOR of the year.

”

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SHE’S A BOSS #6

BY SARA RUDA

Living in a small town in northwest Kansas teaches you a lot about what you are capable of. Medical care can be 30 miles away or further and there are still areas with no cell phone service.

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{ SHE’S A BOSS }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“I have been involved in the medical field since 2008 as both a Paramedic and a nurse when I began experiencing symptoms consistent with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

It also provides solitude and the chance to experience the outdoors with just a short walk in any direction. I have been lucky enough to live in smaller towns for most of my life apart from working in Atlanta, GA for 7 years. I have been involved in the medical field since 2008 as both a Paramedic and a nurse when I began experiencing symptoms consistent with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This led to being let go from my job and left to piece everything together with the support of my family and close friends. After learning the importance of healing and making time for yourself I became a confidence coach and public speaker to help as many people as possible. It has been a long-standing belief of mine that to take care of others, you need to take care of yourself first. I always make a point to emphasize how important this is to my clients and include it in their goals for the month. I believe everything happens for a reason and being invited to work with Monica and Jan on this book was perfect timing!

I was falling into the routine of “Do as I say, not as I do.” While working as a medic it was work, eat junk food, sleep when I can, then basic chores before I went back to work another 24 hr shift. Working as a nurse during COVID wasn’t any better and I had no schedule or routine. I was not taking care of myself; I was purely in survival mode just making it from one day

to the next. There were days where the only thing I had to eat was a pack of crackers.

After COVID cases began to decline, I returned to working on the ambulance which maintained a regular schedule of 24 or 48 hr shifts.

Depending on how busy you were on your shift, sleep could be elusive.

At this point I was still not taking time to decompress after work or make time to see friends or my family.

The stress was continuing to build, all the while I was telling others to take care of themselves. My mental health was also on the decline due to lack of self-care. I began to show signs of PTSD including flashbacks, nightmares and memory issues. I was then on extended leave with FMLA which eventually ended with being let go from my position on the ambulance. With this event I came to the realization that I had put all my personal teaching by the wayside and in doing so my health had steadily declined to the point where I could no longer do my job. That being said, PTSD is not something that can be fixed with a spa day and a margarita, but I could have definitely helped make it more manageable by taking care of my body.

slowed down when my mental and physical health got so bad that I was forced to. This led me to focus on my mental and physical health and tested my persistence. I came to realize that self-care is a core part of being successful in anything you do.

In my chapter of She’s A Boss I share my struggle with PTSD and the importance of self-care. I also go into depth on how to create a good foundation for yourself to build upon. I will preach it again, We cannot take care of others if we do not first take care of ourselves! This chapter holds so much meaning to me not only as a medical professional, but as a wife and a mother. It is so easy to get consumed by our routines and work, to get stuck in a rut and let our daily stressors overwhelm us just to go to bed and start it over the next day. This is a routine that must be broken if we want to become our best selves for us and everyone we care about. I have been so blessed to be a part of this book and to have the chance to tell my story.

Getting to the point where I could accept what needed to be done was difficult. I had been in such a hectic and grueling routine for so long that anything else felt like I was letting people down. I only ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: FEBRUARY/MARCH EDITION 2023 49

{ SHE’S A BOSS } “Right now, I am embarking on a personal growth spurt that I don’t see ending anytime soon. Age did not matter or stop me from being where I am today. Do not let that stop you!”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

. Incredibly proud of each one, a girl from Brooklyn I have become a superstar in my own rite and only look forward to doing more to shed light on being unequivocally my authentic self.

Since the release of, She’s A Boss! I have been hard at work creating my brand URABlessing.com, honoring my mom’s memorable closing catchphrase, “Blessings.” URABlessing which will be launching in early 2023 will promote authenticity by expressing the importance of investing in Ur 50

self, because after all that is the best investment periodt. Honoring the practice of self-love through meditation, cultural awareness and life/career coaching.

losing my mother I have had so many friends grapple with the loss of theirs.

I dedicate that chapter to them and hope it helps them through their grief process.

I realized the first investment I made in myself was sharing my story with everyone in She’s a Boss, by being open about what happened after the untimely death of my mother. I had no idea how cathartic it would be to release the pain. I was expressing what I was going through in my chapter, Listen to Your Music. Since

Right now, I am embarking on a personal growth spurt that I don’t see ending anytime soon. Age did not matter or stop me from being where I am today. Do not let that stop you!

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SHE’S A BOSS #7

BY ASIYA ABDUL-ALIM

When I was a little girl, I remembered all I wanted to do was be an entertainer. I ate, slept and breathed singing; but now at the age of 45 I look at my life and the accomplishments I have made thus far.

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SHE’S A BOSS #8

BY EVE MARIE HARMONY

“Spiritual health is the key to all health because feelings of connection with a higher power improve mental outlook, emotional responses, and physical motivation to take care of yourself and your communities.”

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{ SHE’S A BOSS }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“It took courage to do that, but the choice to honor my heart’s desires has truly changed me as a person. I’m happy and fulfilled every day, and nothing is more important than that.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Live From Your Heart: When I started Naturopathic Medical school I was ecstatic to be on the path to helping people create their highest state of well-being. Then, day by day, I found my own mental, emotional, and physical health declining as I studied for long hours and lost touch with my sense of awe and wonder for living.

One thing that got me through my first year of medical school was my constant commitment to my morning yoga practice. Those few moments of taking care of my body, mind, and spirit were all I needed to get through the day.

Student colleagues often commented that I always seemed so relaxed and capable. However, on the inside, I was feeling tragically unhappy.

Then I saw a sign in the hallway that read, “Intuitive Development Through Nature And Shamanism.” Every word resonated with something I wanted more, and I found myself attending every class possible with the unconventionally happy and eccentric teacher of Shamanism.

Upon graduation, I slowly realized that I didn’t want to be a doctor. I had completed medical school to earn the degree, but it wasn’t my passion.

Shamanism was my new passion because I could help people be happier, and I saw being happy as the most important aspect of being healthy.

I struggled to admit this to myself and others, leading to a confused and disjointed start to my career. I tried starting my medical practice, only to find that people usually sought me

out for my Shamanic skills. So, after a couple of years of avoiding it, I finally began to market myself as a teacher and practitioner of Shamanism and my life and career unfolded.

After about three good years of building my practice around Shamanism, my commitment was tested when all at once, a large portion of my regular clients had life changes that caused them to stop seeking my services. With my income drying up and my marketing not yielding results, I took a high-paying job working for an MD. I had prayed for reliable income instead of praying for my most fulfilling life to unfold.

As I continued to work as a doctor, I felt less and less satisfied with my work and my life. In fact, I felt miserable again, as I had in medical school. I was sacrificing my true nature, desires, and soul calling to pursue an unconventional path.

Every day while driving to and from the office, I fantasized about starting my Shamanism practice again, until finally, the day came that I couldn’t deny my instincts any longer. The only problem was that I had zero time to do anything except work at the clinic. So, I made the difficult decision to walk away from my career as a doctor to pursue my passion for Shamanism.

It took courage to do that, but the choice to honor my heart’s desires has truly changed me as a person. I’m happy and fulfilled every day, and nothing is more important than that.

Being someone who loves science and spirituality, I’ve found myself seeking

to describe what makes Shamanism so profoundly transformational. I find in medicine that when people understand how and why something works, they’re more likely to do it. So I’ve adapted my programs to include ancient techniques in a way that fits with modern interpretations and times.

Now that I’ve come to terms with my inner truth I feel I’m finally being authentic to myself and to others around me. I now understand that I can’t give the best of myself unless my heart is fully invested in what I’m giving.

Here are some key points to help you live from the heart: ● Explore what you want to learn, study, and practice. That calling is your soul saying “yes” to something and if you honor it you’ll be rewarded with happiness. ● If life gives you hard lessons, go with the flow, yet be true to yourself as often as you can and the tides will turn back in your favor. ● Living from the heart means you’d rather be true to yourself than be “normal” and you embrace that the world needs your particular talents and abilities, even if they’re odd or eccentric. In fact, the world needs this more than ever.

Every day is a new adventure for me, and I’d be happy for the adventure of connecting with you through email at Eve@EveHarmony.Health or via my website at www.eveharmony.health.

May the beauty of life surround you!

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“It is unfortunate, but disability is still super taboo. And there is so much stigma attached to being disabled. Every day is a fight.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

She molded me, held my hand when I was scared, sat by my bed when I was afraid to close my eyes, and found a way to light our house at night because I am afraid of the dark. She taught me how to stand tall, to hold on tight, and to fight to the very end. My passion, determination, and grit is rooted in who she built me to be. So I would say that Jeiri Flores is a fighter, a lover, and, more importantly, a dreamer with no quit because her momma demanded so.

You are a community advocate, especially for disability justice. Tell us a little bit about this.

My bread and butter is unpacking my lived experience as a disabled woman of color. I specifically talk about the ways in which ableism, racism, sexism, etc., impacts folks in our community with the intention of hopefully sparking change in policy, legislation, programming, development, language, and planning. #3 How did advocacy develop into working in the diversity, equity, and inclusion space?

My work in advocacy naturally developed in the diversity, equity, and inclusion space because of who I am. As a disabled woman of color, I never leave any piece of me behind I step fully in all rooms which in turn has fed my rhetoric and platform.

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Who are some of the people that helped inspire you, especially in your advocacy journey?

I am a huge fan of folks who arent/ werent afraid of speaking in truth.

Who command a room. Who’s presence is felt and keeps you thinking like Nina Simone, Angela Davis, Assata Shakur, and Fannie Lou Hamer. But on a personal level, folks who I can call and feed my soul are my mom,

my mentor, and my best friends. They keep me grounded and are often my first audience.

Is this the type of work you have always wanted to do? How did this journey start?

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Advocacy chose me. I was an advocate before I even knew what advocacy was. My journey as an advocate started when I was a kid interpreting for my mom. I learned early on that if I didn’t speak for us, we didn’t exist.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.

Professionally i’d like to publish a memoir that I have been writing forever. Go on tour as a motivational speaker. And personally, I’d like to graduate with my master’s this spring, create an amazing documentary, and debut it at the cinema.

But most importantly, continue impressing my mom.

What was it like being nominated for the Athena Award this year?

Honestly, it was shocking.

Advocacy is often a thankless job. A mountain you keep climbing because if you stop, then nothing changes. It felt like my work was finally recognized on a grander scale. .

If you could do one thing you have never done, what would it be and why?

I want to keynote a graduation ceremony. Graduating anything feels like the greatest accomplishment.

There’s magic in every ceremony

MEET JEIRI FLORES Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

Who is Jeiri Flores?

Who is Jeiri Flores I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that. Jeiri Flores is Lourdes Flores’s daughter and I know that that might not mean much to folks, but my mother built me from scratch.

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{ ROCHESTER WOMAN } { WOMAN WHOENTREPRENUERS INSPIRES }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Rochester made me. I owe the dirt doesn’t of this city something. It is my mission to give where I “Reject the diet mentality.

Restricting work.” can what I can whenever I can”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

and I just want to see what it feels like to lead folks to their next steps. And realistically, I want folks who look and sound like me to relate to their keynote speaker on a personal level to feel comfortable and genuinely celebrated.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

I was the first person in my immediate family to graduate college, and when I got to the ceremony, it all felt surreal. I couldn’t believe I was there. Only 1% of disabled college students actually graduate, and here I was at a finish line that, in the beginning, I couldn’t even envision. So on my way to the gym where the ceremony was happening, I was on the elevator processing out loud, and this little old lady looked at me and said “Why not you?” and I’ve carried that with me ever since.

Why not me?

What’s the most important risk you’ve ever taken? How did it play out for you?

I turned down a job opportunity to be a fellow in a fellowship program that didn’t pay much. I felt like the fellowship better aligned with my goals as an advocate. And honestly, it proved to be the better choice as it continues to pay dividends.

What is your mission for helping to make Rochester a better place to live?

Rochester made me. I owe the dirt of this city something. It is my mission to give where I can what I can whenever

I can. My mission for this city is simple it is my deepest desire to help this city become a place where families bloom, where difference is acknowledged and celebrated, and where those who have made it pull up as they climb because we are each other’s business! This place can only get better if we see and take care of each other.

As a person with a disability yourself, do you find it easier or harder to be an advocate and have your message heard?

It is unfortunate, but disability is still super taboo. And there is so much stigma attached to being disabled.

Every day is a fight. Being an advocate for myself is hard because I am fighting to be respected, heard, and acknowledged. I have to watch how I say things, how I interact with others, remember to keep my emotions in check, and to stay vulnerable while also being guarded. It’s all a complicated balance and I don’t always get it right. Am I always heard? I am not sure because I am not just disabled; I am a woman of color who openly uses AAVE, so there are a lot of isms I am constantly combatting.

dive on google. Once I figured out it was legit, I felt like I made it.

TIME magazine is big. And after the article went to print, I felt like I had to work harder and continue to grow my presence in the disability advocacy realm.

Where will we see Jeiri Flores next?

Hopefully, you’ll see me keynoting a conference, starting a podcast, and continuing to push the envelope when it comes to advocacy.

Tell us about your biggest success.

How did it change you?

I feel like my biggest success is yet to come. I’m still swimming against the current to make it. But if I had to pick a moment, I’d say being interviewed by TIME magazine.

When the interviewer first reached out, I thought I was being scammed and didn’t trust it till I did a deep ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: FEBRUARY/MARCH EDITION 2023 61

{ ROCHESTER { WOMAN WOMAN WHOENTREPRENUERS INSPIRES } } “Only 1% of disabled college students actually graduate, and here I was at a finish line that, in the beginning, I couldn’t even envision.”

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THERESA YOU AREOSCHMANN ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUXPHOTOS WILLIAMS PHOTOS

BY NSP STUDIO

BY IJULIE OLDFIELD

Tell us a little bit about yourself I am Theresa Oschmann, a wife, mom, Oma (Dutch for grandmother) and an entrepreneur. My husband and I are empty nesters which sometimes makes me think how that is even possible when we share our home with The Rescue Trio, a dog (lab/ golden retriever mix) named Bailey and two tuxedo cats, Saber and Nya, all of whom came from the same rescue.

that you didn’t have to give yourself an ulcer to generate. It’s easier to promote another’s business than it is to promote your own, but by doing so, your business grows… and grows, and grows!

I had the pleasure of meeting Mark

How did you start your business?

2023 ushered in year 22 of my career in higher education sales and marketing. The cornerstone of my career is deeply rooted in the relationships I’ve built over the years .... the relationships I continue to build. I believe that business is built on relationships, and I’ve made it my business to build them.

How long have you been an entrepreneur? What is your business?

I have been an entrepreneur for 10 years. As far as my business, I am business partners with a direct mail sales and marketing company. I work with businesses, sales professionals, and entrepreneurs to help them keep their clients (so that no ad, no Google search will take their clients and customers away from them), help them earn referrals, and build relationships that will grow their business.

What is “Hanging Out for A Living”? Tell us a little bit about it and how it got started.

Hanging Out For A Living is actually a book written by the late Mark Herdering. It speaks to a method of doing business based on the idea that what you give away you get back … ten-fold! By building business relationships that are based on friendship, not revenue, you eventually end up with a strong revenue stream 64

Oschmann. If there was a picture next to the definition of the word Girt, it would be hers! Liz’s determination and courage to push through any challenge or obstacle thrown her way, her ability to be objective and to love whether she agrees or disagrees with my thought process, or anyone else’s, has me wanting to be like her when I grow up!

several years ago and over the years watched him as he hung out with people and posted about it on his social media. When I asked his permission to the do the same, he said “Of course!” and the rest is history as they say.

Who is someone that inspires you, and why?

My mother-in-love, Elizabeth

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My passion for creating genuine relationships and appreciating my clients opened the opportunity of entrepreneurship. Creating a sales portfolio in the high six figures year after year doesn’t go unnoticed and when people started to ask me how I did it and would I show them how, I just had to say yes and the entrepreneurial journey began!

What are some mistakes you wish you could have avoided?

Saying “yes” when I knew the right answer was “no.”

Not setting boundaries.

Not having a DMO (daily mode of operation)

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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “I work with businesses, sales professionals, and entrepreneurs to help them keep their clients (so that no ad, no Google search will take their clients and customers away from them), help them earn referrals, and build relationships that will grow their business.”

What advice would you give to starting entrepreneurs?

Work harder on yourself than you do on your business.

What are some of the things you feel female entrepreneurs struggle with the most?

Self-care A confusion in priorities. Feeling like we need to be everything to everyone.

The feeling of not being enough … smart enough, talented enough.

Asking for help.

How do you build a successful customer base? Do you find word of mouth or social media platforms are better for your business?

While most people want to know how they can market to get more business, I’ve learned that the keys to building a business are creating genuine relationships, appreciating your customers and clients, and being of service to others. As far as word of mouth or social media, for my business it’s both. When done right (and believe me when I tell you I see many people making big mistakes in what they send), direct mail will have new customers calling and old customers referring.

What are three words you would use to describe yourself?

Conqueror Inspiring Determined How have your priorities changed from when you first started?

My priorities now align with my core mission statement which is. I am

inspiring and empowering others to live the life of their dreams, leading by example. If what comes across my path does not align with this statement, I respectfully take a pass.

What do you think defines someone who is a successful entrepreneur?

Someone who isn’t chasing the money.

Don’t get me wrong, the green stuff is powerful and compelling; it’s one of the main reasons we become entrepreneurs. According to some business experts though, you must be willing to climb over bodies to get to the top and you can only win at the expense of others. A successful entrepreneur is someone who has done it without hurting or exploiting others.

What challenges did you have to overcome at the beginning of your journey?

Mindset.

Time management.

Networking and how I don’t need to belong to every networking group and chamber of commerce to build a successful business.

Ever think “I’ll never get that hour back” after meeting with someone?

I hate to admit it, but I can’t even begin to count how many times I said that early on in my entrepreneurial journey so now I make sure to qualify prospects/any meeting I take.

What has been your greatest success?

Buying my home as a single woman.

you apart from your competition?

The uniqueness is in the personalization/customization and how our platform saves time, energy, and money all while making you money. The setting apart from the competition is the experience that is created; an experience where no ad or Google search will take clients and customers away because now there is an emotional ROI. As Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

What have you enjoyed most about being self-employed?

Being able to live life and not let life live me.

Where will we see you next?

Being a heart driven entrepreneur would not be complete without giving back. As a result, my husband and I have an emerging not-for-profit, Paw Pet Pantry so you will find me/us traveling across the country opening Paw Pet Pantry Chapters that will help fulfill our mission to provide no-cost cat and dog food together with limited pet supplies to those who are experiencing financial hardship in communities nationwide. In doing so, the organization helps to keep pets in loving homes while reducing shelter intakes and euthanasia.

For more inforamtion contact Theresa at theresa.oschmann@gmail.com

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LISA COVE PHOTOS BY CHRIS COVE

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

Professionally, I am a nurse practitioner, holding a master’s degree from the University of Rochester. I have also been a fitness instructor for over 35 years, currently teaching yoga at Breathe Pittsford.

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“As you can see I have a variety of community leadership experience as well as intimate local experience in the Pittsford community.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Personally, I have been married to Dr. Christopher Cove, for 34-years.

Together, we have raised three sons, Alexander, Zachery, and Matthew.

When my children were young, we lived in the City of Rochester for 10 years and I was immensely involved in community service both through volunteering and serving on Rochester business boards. I served as the Junior League of Rochester President 2008 and was appointed to WXXI Public Broadcasting board for 3 terms, Lifespan Board for 3 terms and the Alzhiemer Association for one term. I was crowned Mrs. New York in 2002, representing married woman at the National Mrs. America Pageant held in Hawaii. You may see me as one of the original models for Rochester Fashion Week or in local commercials, most recently Wegmans Game Day series.

I moved into a 1892 Queen Ann home in Pittsford Village to send my 3 sons to a Village public school (Pittsford Sutherland) where I immediately got involved in the local community started the Farmers Market, the weekly Porch Parties, a member of the Active Transportation Plan, PTSA, Pittsford Rotary, the Chair of the Historic Preservation Board and now currently running for an elected position for the Village of Pittsford Board Trustee.

What position are you running for in the Village Of Pittsford?

I am running for a 4-year trustee seat in the Village of Pittsford.

What made you decide to run for office?

After serving on the Historic Preservation Board, I learned firsthand how important local government

decisions and leadership in the continued success of the Pittsford community. I was approached by a number of residents that asked me if I would consider running for the position and that they would support me first hand by forming a campaign team for me.

What do you feel you bring to the table that will help you to win the

voters at election time?

As you can see I have a variety of community leadership experience as well as intimate local experience in the Pittsford community. I truly care for the continued success and well-being of our Village and want to ensure that Village residents and businesses are represented at the table that makes decisions that affect us.

Just the attitude of “caring” is my first powerful component of being a good trustee. My past service and knowledge will also make me a powerful candidate. Being a Village resident for over 12 years, raising a family and being involved with the people that call this place home is extremely important for anyone who desires to serve. I have all of that!

What would it mean to you to win the election?

That the people (Village residents) are counting on me to serve inclusively, to hear them fully, to protect the beauty of what we have and to make sure that any growth is smart and wanted by the majority.

Who is someone that inspires you and why?

My husband not only inspires me but he also has taught me so much. As a committed physician, husband, and father he continues to put himself second to the needs of those he cares for. About 13 years ago he

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“As a nurse, and MOM,

a wife, the daughter of aging parents, a teacher and a COMMUNITY advocate, I realize that I need to find balance bot just for ME, but for all those who depend on me.

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“The only way to get through life is to live through it.”

decided that his health needs to be a priority. Despite his long hours and responsibilities, he started riding his bike to work. It was the only time he had during the day to fit in exercise for his health. So every day rain, shine, snow or negative temperatures, he travels on the Erie Canal from Pittsford to the University of Rochester Medical Center at 6am to care for his patients. I am inspired by his ability to care for everyone in his life, including himself!

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams both personally and professionally.

I am living my dreams! Sometimes people forget that the moments you are in could be the dream you desire.

As a yoga instructor, I constantly 78

remind my students to live in the moment. One of my favorite quotes is “The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness”. I am grateful for all I have accomplished and for the health of my life to strive to do more. Running for an elected position is something I have never done before! It was intriguing to take this brand-new journey and learn along the way. My dream was never to be a “politician”, but more to be a “help to others”. That is exactly why I have chosen to run for this important community leadership position.

How do you balance being an entrepreneur and all of its challenges, along with your family life?

Balance, balance, balance. Constantly

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re-evaluating how you are spending your time. As a nurse, and mom, a wife, the daughter of aging parents, a teacher and a community advocate, I realize that I need to find balance bot just for me, but for all those who depend on me. If one thing takes over my thoughts, time, and energy to the point I don’t feel balanced, I re-evaluate my ability and adjust BEFORE it causes problems. We all have the ability to adjust our life to the needs that change with time.

If you could do one thing you have never done, what would it be and why?

Running for office and being elected!

This is exactly the one thing I have never done and I’m doing it! And most importantly I am having fun

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{ ROCHESTER WOMAN ENTREPRENUERS } “First and foremost, doing a life evaluation as to whether you have the time and energy to do the job. No one wants an overwhelmed and over-stretched elected official.”

and loving it! What better job than walking door to door and talking to your neighbors about what is important to them. It is a dream job so far.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten ?

Sorry, I have to pick 2.

1) “Don’t just get though life, live though it”.

2) “The only way you can hurt a body is to not move it” -Jack Lalanne Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out on this journey?

No. One of my personality traits is to take advice and constructive criticism well. I have a great team that I listen to and that has made this journey a success.

If you could effect one change while in office, what would it be?

The main reason I decided to run.

Bring respectful honest governance back to the board. I believe in order to represent the people you need to hear from them (let them be heard and not feel intimidated to approach the board) and work as a team with the other trustees. We are elected

to work towards what is in the best interest of our constituents (the Village residents and businesses) we need to govern that way!

You’re motivated to make a change and run for office. But where do you even begin?

First and foremost, doing a life evaluation as to whether you have the time and energy to do the job.

No one wants an overwhelmed and over-stretched elected official. Talk with the important people in your life, your partner, your kids, your parents, your boss and your friends!

I have gotten in the habit of using the Rotary’s “Four-Way Test” 1. Is it the truth?

2. Is it fair to all concerned?

3. Will it build goodwill and better friendships?

4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

How does your family feel about what you are doing?

My family is used to me coming home and bringing all kinds of ideas for me to do. They are never surprised with the things I do and my ability to do them. They trust me and my process.

What skills and strengths can you bring to this position?

-My positive attitude -The ability to work as a team and respect all involved -My neverending energy and commitment to work for the Village -My promise to do what is right for everyone - My t r u e c a r i n g intention -My desire to work local and stay local -My intention to always work as an “elected official” and not a “politician”.

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THE SUNNY MIKE FOUNDATION

BY DEB LUBBERTS & BETH BIGLEY I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL THAXTON & LISA HUGHES

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your role with the Sunny Mike Foundation.

I am Deb Lubberts and I am currently an instructional coach at Lyons Central School District. I am a doctoral candidate at St. John Fisher University in the Executive Leadership Program.I am currently the Chief Executive Officer and Co-Founder of the Sunny Mike Foundation.

I am Beth Bigley, formerly retired, and now nearly full-time Chief Operating Officer and cofounder of the Sunny Mike Foundation. I am happily married to Scott Bigley, who is our Chief Financial Officer. As the COO, I run the day-to-day operations of the Foundation.

What is the Sunny Mike Foundation and the mission behind it?

At Sunny Mike, we’re elevating the minds, bodies, and spirits of veterans by connecting them to services, resources, and people they need. We support projects and experiences for veterans to bring light into their lives.

We provide personalized care for individuals who have fallen through hard times. Sometimes, all that people need is a little extra help to get them back on their feet. We believe that financial contributions to care for family and self can help veterans who need it.

As our community grows, and our connections to more veterans and

veterans outreach programs become stronger, we aim to continue to assist one another in our community of care.

Together, we raise each other, and promise to continue to support one another. In this way, we hope to inspire even more.

Who started the foundation? Tell us a little bit of its history.

The Sunny Mike Foundation was established in 2021. The foundation was conceived in honor of the late Michael

David Conrad. Everything about ‘Big Mike’ was larger than life; he stood well over six feet tall and combined with his booming deep voice, there wasn’t a room he didn’t fill out. Growing up, Mike’s mother always called him “Sonny Jim” as a nickname, and here at the foundation, we thought it was a terrifically apt way to capture both our mission and his even bigger heart and spirit. Although Michael died before his time, Mike was a wonderful brother to Beth and a superb father to Deb,

and he impacted their lives profoundly when he was with us.

What was the inspiration behind the foundation about paying it forward for veterans?

Our inspiration for The Sunny Mike Foundation is Michael David Conrad.

Michael served honorably in the U.S. Navy during the Vietnam conflict.

When he was drafted, he swore to the officers that he would do all that he could to help, but he couldn’t bear the thought of hurting another person. He was assigned a Morse code communications role to remotely support submarines and discovered both a love for and a gift for the skill.

Once back home, Mike went on to lead a peaceful and joyful life. He had a daughter, Debra, and eventually lived in warm and sunny Florida with his wife and partner, Glenda.

Everyone that knew him thought he was a hardworking and gentle giant, and was always happy to help out those in need with a cheerful spirit. His family and friends were delighted with his humor, laughter, and kind nature.

Unfortunately, throughout his later years, he lived daily in chronic back pain.

He tried just about everything to free himself from the ailment, but treatments only seemed to work for a little while.

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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Beth– I wish I had known how to start a foundation. I had no idea what was involved, the ins and outs, the legal and financial “stuff” that is associated with just trying to help veterans.”

for him to obtain adequate treatment.

Despite being stuck in physical pain, he was decidedly focused on what he could do instead of dwelling on what he could not control.

He found refuge, friendships, and a home away from home with other veterans at his local VFW. With this in mind, we have created The Sunny Mike Foundation to fill any gaps in need that veterans and their families may find themselves facing. Mike was just one man, but he made an impact wherever he could. In turn, our mission is to connect to one veteran at a time, focusing on the individual and being a dear friend in their time of need.

The Sunny Mike Foundation recognizes that there is tremendous work to be done to aid the large community of veterans in the United States. And just like Mike, one step at a time, one person at a time, we can transform what it means to be a veteran. Mike’s love and compassion were immense and everyone that met him felt like he was their best friend. We hope to follow in his footsteps and brighten the lives of veterans for years to come.

What inspires you?

Deb– People and living beings living their best life inspire me. I am a sucker for all of those videos where people sing and dance their hearts out or when a dog loses it and their tail whirls around when their owner returns from their tour of duty in the military. I have been a teacher for twenty years and the children inspire me when they overcome challenges. I am also inspired by art, poetry, music, dance, 86

cooking, laughing with my Auntie Beth, and people being in love. Nature also inspires me because it is perfectly imperfect just like people!

Beth– I am inspired by the stories of the dedicated men and women who have served our Country. My dad was an army veteran who served during World War II and he told and retold stories of the places he saw and some of the military experiences he had. I also love hearing stories of couples’ “how they got started”. I love talking with people and sharing how our foundation started. I am inspired to cook and paint and do crafts whenever I am with my family and friends. I feed off the joy and interactions with my people at gatherings in my home.

And I am most inspired after we elevate a veteran, that wonderful feeling I get knowing I’ve helped and I want to help them again and again.

Is the Sunny Mike Foundation only for veterans or can others participate?

It is for veterans and their families, but others can and do participate in our events as volunteers. For example, we have a Sunny Mike Golf Scramble and a Mindfulness 5K. Deb’s son, Cass, is the Chief Strategy Officer and curator of the website, and her daughter-in-law, Nicole, is our Design Coordinator for the Foundation. My mom, Maureen Bosse, volunteers her time as well. My cousin’s wife, Kim Johnston, is our Volunteer Coordinator and has about 15 volunteers including her husband, Mark, and their four children. Scott Bigley is our Scramble coordinator and Chief Financial Officer, and Megan Radtke is our Chief Information Officer.

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As you can see, all of our friends have generously volunteered their time to make Sunny Mike Foundation run!

We couldn’t do what we do without everyone pitching in and we have a lot of fun! We are always looking for others who share an equal passion for helping vets, and we are currently looking for a Community Outreach Liaison Officer who is a veteran.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for the future of Sunny Mike.

Where do you see the foundation in 3 years? What about 5 years?

We want to create a consortium of veteran organizations in the Finger Lakes region. Once Deb has earned her doctorate, we want to expand our reach in both our network and the assistance we can offer to veterans and their families.

Our 3-5 year plans include: ● We want to apply for and receive financial grants so that we can, again, expand our network so that we can help more veterans. ● We want to connect veterans in person, so we also want to have a “brick and mortar” building.

Is there one particular service that stands out from the rest that you provide? If so, why?

Our superpower is that we are small and nimble so when a veteran is in immediate need of support financially, we can provide them with financial assistance to get them back on their feet within 24 hours of them completing our online application. We also support veterans to complete it if and when

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“Sunny Mike Foundation is devoted to creating a community of veterans that uses their strengths to pay it forward, welcomes their knowledge and experience, and creates initiatives that serve our heroes.” they need it the most. Our goal is to never have red tape so that we can help veterans in need immediately. We have a unique concept for our foundation that offers the following: Sunny Mike Foundation is devoted to creating a community of veterans that uses their strengths to pay it forward, welcomes their knowledge and experience, and creates initiatives that serve our heroes.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

Deb— My Grandpa Conrad always told me to make sure I say “I love you” whenever you leave the people you love because tomorrow is not promised ❤ ️ I have done this since I was 9 years old and passed it on to our sons, my husband and all the people that I love😊

Beth– If it’s that important today, it will be that important tomorrow, so try not to be stressed. #10 Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting?

Deb – I wish I had known how much I was going to LOVE this endeavor and I often think about how many new people would have never crossed my path if I hadn’t started it. I wish I could have created this when my dad was alive because he would have loved the work we have done, and the connections that we have made from our veterans. The love we receive from the veterans we aid would fill his whole heart.

Beth– I wish I had known how to start a foundation. I had no idea what was involved, the ins and outs, the legal and

financial “stuff” that is associated with just trying to help veterans. I wish it wasn’t so complicated, because more people could be helped much more quickly. I love seeing that ‘smile’, the one a veteran gives me when they are taking the next step to elevate themselves. Had I known, I would have taken classes, attended workshops, etc. to educate myself about the process.

Where did the name Sunny Mike come from?

Please refer to question 3 What resources do you provide that you feel can bring about the biggest impact in a veteran’s life? ● Partnerships with other veteran organizations ● Financial Assistance Grants ● Creating a Community of Care ● Coordinating Community Events for ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: FEBRUARY/MARCH EDITION 2023 89

{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “We are always looking for others who share an equal passion for helping vets, and we are currently looking for a Community Outreach Liaison Officer who is a veteran.”

Veterans and the Finger Lakes Region ● The Sunny Mike Foundation believes that all veterans deserve to be seen, heard, and cared for. By partnering with other institutions, we want to connect as many veterans to health and wellness programs so that veterans can continue to lead healthy, happy, and fulfilled lives after their active service.

Some events and activities we have hosted and participated in: ● Sunny Mike Scramble (many of our sponsors not only play, but they also sponsor veterans so that they can play golf and have dinner)

What types of institutions do you partner up with?

We work closely with Clear Path for Veterans, Soldier On. These are also beautiful organizations that are larger and support veterans. We have worked with NABC Recycled Rides®, National Auto Body Council®, and Rochester Community Inclusive Rowing and we would like to work with more in the future. I hope to partner with the United Way very soon. However, we have so many sponsors that are

● Mindfulness 5K, a peaceful walk in nature. ● Toys for Tots ● Sock Drive for Veterans Outreach of Rochester ● Rochester Red Wings Games ● Take a group of Veterans to Ball Games in the Summer, providing them with parking and a meal at the ballpark ● Adopt a Family at Christmas we started in 2022. We were able to help a veteran and her family, providing gifts and money for a nice holiday meal. ● Monroe County Veterans Day Parade.

This was the County’s first parade and we were honored to march with so many veteran groups.

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amazingly generous in our community.

We have learned that small business owners have the biggest hearts and have been more generous than larger organizations as we have started out.

What has been the biggest obstacle to overcome?

Deb– There have been many trials when we were getting started. Things like learning the ropes of being a 501c3, or initially finding veterans because many do not feel comfortable asking for help in some cases. Getting our name out in the community, and just being brave enough to go into the veterans’

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foundation space as women, since it is typically male lead.

Working through the grief of losing my Dad due to Covid, and finding healing in working with my Aunt Beth and helping veterans and their families in our area has also been difficult, but each day we persevere! And, as always, having enough time to devote myself to all the things I care about is a constant struggle!

Beth–learning to channel the grief from losing my brother into something positive, something we can both be proud of. It’s tough asking for donations through tears and a choked voice. But we’re doing it! Together, Deb and I are making a difference in Rochester and beyond. One veteran at a time.

Where can our readers reach you if they are interested in helping, or becoming involved?

They can reach out to us on our socials: Instagram: sunny_mike919 Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/ sunnymikefoundation/ Twitter: @sunny_mike_fond Our website https://www.sunnymike. org/ They can email us at hello@sunnymike. org They can mail us at 63 Winchester Drive, Fairport, NY 14450 They can call us at 585-431-6770

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FAMILY CENTERED CARE

BY JOANNE RYAN I PHOTO BY BRODY WHEELER

I recently had the privilege of attending my first RMHCR Leadership Conference. We had five days in Dallas Fort Worth Texas. 150 Ronald McDonald house CEOs from North America, South America, Central America, and Canada gathered for the annual Leadership Conference.

Part of the week was dedicated to rolling out the framework for the next RMHC Global Strategic Plan as we embark on the next 50 years.

The conference was also a chance to gather in person, and for many, this conference was the first time in over 3 years. The week was filled with wonderful information sharing including best practices in Family Centered Care, uniquely innovative and impactful programs and services and charting the course for how we can more efficiently and effectively identify and then support the needs of the families in our communities.

One of our wonderful presentations offered every day by a different CEO was called a “Red Shoe Reflection”.

This reflection was an opportunity for a CEO to share their “WHY” and an example of an inspirational story fueling their desire to serve in this capacity.

These powerful stories were a personal affirmation about the important and powerful work that we all do.

One incredible story shared by the CEO from the North Carolina, (NC) Chapter was about a young girl who had been coming to his house every 2 months since birth for the past 10 years. She was born with a

very progressing form of polycystic kidney disease. Polycystic kidney disease in children is a very rare disease: its incidence is 1: 6000-1: 40,000 live newborns. Polycystic kidney disease in children is inherited through an autosomal recessive pathway. Depending on the age of the children, in which the first symptoms of polycystic kidney disease appear often impacts the severity and progression of the disease. With perinatal and neonatal development of the disease in newborns, 90% of the kidney tissue is replaced by cysts.

Children develop rapidly progressive renal failure.

This little girl had quickly progressed into complete renal failure and daily dialysis was the only thing keeping her alive. Her parents had shared that their lives were measured in 24hour periods, and that their comfort came following a successful day of dialysis because they knew they would have one more day with her…. This challenging diagnosis and living from one day to the next was their “normal”.

As a result of their frequent visits, the family and staff became incredibly close. Whether they were in the NC house or not, the staff kept in touch exchanging encouraging notes and celebrating milestone birthdays. The CEO went on to share that over the last few years with each visit it was becoming abundantly clear that this had taken a significant toll on the little girl’s body. Becoming more critically ill, meant she was now able

to be placed on a National Transplant Waiting List. During that March visit, it became apparent that she had deconditioned so significantly that if the kidney/Liver match could not be found soon, that will probably be her last visit to the house. To compound the gravity of this situation, this was also March 2020, the onset of COVID. Houses across the world were temporarily closing because of the pandemic. The Global plan for managing through this unknown period of COVID was to temporarily suspend admitting new families into the houses and close the house as soon as all the families in care were discharged.

One by one as families were discharged from the NC house and just as with the other houses throughout the world, the plan was to close as soon as the last family had been discharged to home. Weeks passed and 16 of the 17 families were discharged. The CEO was committed to keeping the house open, just for her and her family so that she could be minutes away if they were able to find a match and possible donor... The call came in at 7 AM on Tuesday March 24th they had found an exact match, and she had to be at the hospital within the hour. This family lived four hours away from Ronald McDonald house and if the house had closed and they had gone home, she would have missed the opportunity for this life saving transplant.

This was one of over 5 stories shared during the five-day conference

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“It is a remarkable

testament to the importance of the SUPPORTIVE SERVICES that are in place to ensure the families are as close to care as POSSIBLE when it is critically needed...

We are so much MORE THAN food, lodging and transportation…

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{ MINUTES MATTER }

“But the most powerful part was that for the first time in her young life, she and her parents could think about a future beyond the next 24 hrs.” reinforcing how incredibly precious minutes are when your child is critically ill or injured. We realize that it is through our understanding of just how much minute’s matter and that our work results and such profound and significant life-changing outcomes. The CEO shared that the little girl has done remarkable well and now is only admitted for a routine visit twice a year. Her last visit to the NC house was this past January. She greeted him with the same beautiful smile, but there was something different about this visit…

she was full of life and for the first time in many years looked healthy happy and proud to show him she had braces... As he shared the story he became very emotional, seeing this 10 year old, and her family who he and his team met when she was only days old, now, healthy, full of life and well enough to be happy about having braces, truly inspired and humbled him… but the most powerful part was that for the first time in her young life, she and her parents could think about a future beyond the next 24 hrs.

It is a remarkable testament to the importance of the supportive services that are in place to ensure the families are as close to care as possible when it is critically needed... We are so much more than food, lodging and transportation…. we are a conduit to care, we are an care access enhancer, we are Ronald McDonald House Charities, and we keep families close … especially when minutes matter most.

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DR. RASHIDA CLARKE

Please tell us about yourself and a little bit about your background?

I grew up in Rochester, NY with my mother and three sisters, and spent summer vacations in Toronto, ON with my father. I had a great family dynamic and enjoyed having older sisters that helped me navigate the complexities of life. I am single mother to 15-year-old girl who is an absolute angel.

I ultimately graduated from optometry school in 2017 and am very excited to be back working in my hometown.

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{ WOMAN YOU NEED TO KNOW } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “I think the biggest challenge of my career was just getting here. At the end of my freshman year of college I found out I was pregnant, and it completely changed my trajectory.”

What made you decide to join the team at Cornerstone Eye Associates?

Cornerstone has a fantastic reputation in Rochester for not only delivery outstanding care but doing so with impeccable bedside manner. It can be difficult to find physicians who are both talented AND kind. When I first began practicing in Rochester, I would ask more experienced colleagues for recommendations on where to refer patients for particular conditions.

Cornerstone was almost always the number one recommendation.

I remember meeting Michelle and Nicole about 6 months after graduation. Their attitudes were ones of excitement and passion. They told me if I ever wanted to branch out from retail optometry to give them a call, fast forward 5 years and I did just that. I had a desire to practice a fuller scope of optometry than is possible in a retail setting and I thought there was no better company to do it with than Cornerstone.

What is your specialty, or area of expertise?

I’m a primary care optometrist. I like to do a little bit of everything. I do like the challenge and reward of fitting specialty contacts. Typically, patients in these types of lenses do not get good vision through other means of correction. It can be very satisfying to see the improved vision after what a fairly time-consuming fit can be.

I also enjoy educating patients on dry eye. You would be amazed how simple nutrition or lifestyle changes can impact the quality of your vision.

What are some of the challenges you

have face in your career and how have you overcome them?

I think the biggest challenge of my career was just getting here. At the end of my freshman year of college I found out I was pregnant, and it completely changed my trajectory.

To say I overcame that alone would simply be a lie. I had a village behind me, and I owe so much of my success to them.

Did you always want to be an optometrist?

Honestly, no. I originally wanted to be an obstetrician. Having to finish my last 3 years of college while working fulltime and raising a young child forced a new perspective on me. I could continue to pursue my original goal but felt like I would sacrifice so much time with my daughter. I was working in lab manufacturing glasses during my undergraduate education which is how I was introduced into the optical industry. Becoming an optometrist allowed me to still have a career in health care with a slightly smaller sacrifice in terms of time commitment.

Where did you get your education from?

I attended Nazareth Hall/Nazareth Academy, a small private catholic school from K-12, I then went on to complete a year at New York University before moving home to complete my bachelor’s degree at St. John Fisher (go Cardinals!). I received a truly fantastic optometric education from Nova Southeastern University College of Optometry in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

The one piece of advice I’ve never forgotten is to remember that life is a journey. The path to success or a goal isn’t going to be linear. You embrace the curves as part of the path and learn from the unexpected turns.

Try and describe yourself in 3 words only.

Quirky, funny, empathetic What are some of your strengths?

I am definitely a team player. It’s one thing to succeed on your own but sometimes a greater satisfaction comes from succeeding as a team. That may mean jumping in to help or picking up the slack when another team member is overwhelmed or unable to.

I would also say my bedside manner is another strength. Patients find me kind and easy to talk to.

What do you enjoy most about what you do? What do you find the hardest about it?

I enjoy building relationships with people. My patients share all kinds of stories, some are inspiring, some are funny, and some are heartbreaking. I remember working in a low-income clinic during my final year of school.

There was a middle-aged gentleman who had been diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa many years prior. What no one ever explained to him was that his vision would continue to get progressively worse throughout life and there is no cure. I had to have that difficult conversation with him and I will never forget the tearful

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“The one piece of advice I’ve never forgotten is to remember that life is a journey. The path to success or a goal isn’t going to be linear.”

Where do you see yourself in the next 3-5 years?

I hope to see myself as an integral part of the Cornerstone Family in 3-5 years. I would love to create some sort of niche here that ties into my interests and also promotes practice growth.

What are you most excited about at Cornerstone Eye Associates right now?

I’m most excited about working for a company where everyone truly seems to enjoy showing up every day.

Culture can really make or break a company. I have been blown away by the work culture at Cornerstone.

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What are some tips for building great relationships with your clients?

Patients like knowing that their needs are being taken seriously. I make it a point to try and address as many patient concerns as possible, no matter how small. I also try to learn at least one thing about their life, it allows me to connect with them better.

What is one piece of advice you would give a young woman looking to become an optometrist today?

I would tell her to find a financially responsible way to become an optometrist so that she can enjoy the rewards of her career earlier on. As with most professional degrees, optometry

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school can be expensive. Attending an inexpensive undergraduate school and living frugally throughout optometry school will allow you to begin practicing with a lower debt burden.

Where will we see Dr. Rashida Clarke next?

Right here at Cornerstone Eye Associates! I’m looking forward to settling into my new position at Cornerstone, honing my craft, and creating my forever home.

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SPECIALIZES IN WILLS/PROBATE AND TRUST WORK, ALONG WITH REAL ESTATE AND NURSING HOME COLLECTIONS 1900 EMPIRE BLVD. #172 I WEBSTER, NY 14580 I (585)217-9390

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{ A SPECIAL TRIBUTE BLACK WOMEN ROC} } } { A{CULTURE OF BELONGING

THE NEED TO BELONG: YOU ARE ENOUGH. TYPES OF BELONGING

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS

BY AMY BLISS BY NSP STUDIO

Have you ever felt the need to be a part of something? To Belong? Beyond a desire or want, but a deep seeded need, like your life depended on it?

Last month we took a bit of a detour to talk about Belonging. A topic that has been consuming my focus for quite a while. This time, I want to delve into the different ways we desire and often times, need to belong.

These will vary greatly person to person and even between instances for each of you.

We humans are social creatures, and a fundamental part of our psychological makeup is the need to belong. It’s a natural human desire to feel connected to something or someone. And that’s what belonging is - feeling like you’re a part of a group or a community.

There is significant evidence that a lack of belonging can lead to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, substance abuse and suicidal ideation. So, it’s important to understand the need to belong to self, in relationships, and in the community.

Belonging to Self In order to truly belong, we must first have a strong sense of self. This means having a solid feeling of personal identity and self-awareness. It’s about knowing who you are, your values, and your unique qualities. It is what allows us to navigate through life’s challenges and stressors with resilience.

So, how do you belong to yourself?

How do you develop a strong personal

identity and self-awareness, especially if you don’t feel particularly connect to self. There are 3 places to start: self-reflection, personal growth and self-care.

Self-reflection is an important tool for developing self-awareness. It involves examining your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and understanding how they affect your relationships and your personal growth. Self-reflection can be achieved through meditation, journaling, seeking guidance from a therapist or coach, even plant medicine journeys. It helps you to identify your values, beliefs, and goals and to stay true to them. When you have a better understanding of your own needs and desires, you are better equipped to form healthy relationships with others.

Next is personal growth: working on improving your skills, abilities, and knowledge. By pursuing personal growth, you can develop a better understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, goals and desires. The things that drive you. Learning new skills and expanding your knowledge builds self-confidence and awareness.

Personal growth can be achieved many ways, including attending workshops, reading books, taking classes, traveling and exploring other cultures and many more.

The last one I want to talk about today is self-care, another critical component of belonging to self. It involves taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.

Many people continually put the needs of others before their own. This

is especially true of woman, as we have been conditioned to take care of everyone else first and to believe that putting yourself first in any way is selfish. However, when you prioritize self-care, you demonstrate self-love and respect for your own needs. Some common self-care practices include getting enough sleep, eating well and exercising, what I call “me-time” (participating in hobbies, massage, long bath, mani/pedi, etc.) and setting boundaries in your relationships. In addition to maintaining your overall health and wellbeing, self-care makes you feel more positive and productive.

And, when we take care of ourselves first, we are in a much better position to take care of others.

It’s all connected…developing a strong sense of self is the foundation of building healthy relationships and creating a positive impact in the community, the other 2 areas of belonging I discuss here.

Belonging in Relationships Now let’s talk about belonging in relationships. This is the sense of being accepted and valued by the others in your life…family, friends, romantic partners, co-workers. It’s about building connections with people who support us and who we can support in return. Healthy relationships are an essential part of our lives and these connections are strongest when there is when there is a foundation of effective communication, empathy and boundaries.

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{ A CULTURE OF BELONGING } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “When you are part of a group, you are more likely to be held accountable for your actions, be encouraged to do your best and push beyond your own limitations.”

Effective communication is listening, understanding, and respecting the other person’s point of view, even, or especially, when you don’t agree. It also involves expressing your own thoughts and feelings in a clear and respectful manner, without blame or accusation.

When you communicate effectively, you can build deeper connections with others, and you can resolve conflicts in a constructive way.

An essential component of belonging in relationships is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others…put yourself in their shoes, see things through their eyes. When you practice empathy, you are more able to connect with others on a deep emotional level, and you can offer support and care when they need it. Empathy is a critical component of healthy relationships, and essential to building trust and intimacy.

Finally, boundaries. Setting boundaries means defining what behaviors and actions are acceptable to you and what are not. It means communicating your needs and expectations in a clear and assertive manner. And it means holding firm to them once they are set. This is not to say that boundaries cannot change. But this change should be accompanied by communication and explanation on why you are shifting them. The most common complaint I hear from clients is how unsettled and sometimes unsafe they feel when people they are closest to do not hold solid boundaries. It can feel like you are walking on quicksand or on eggshells.

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avoid unhealthy relationships.

And when we are solid in ourselves and feel confident and supported in our personal relationships, we can truly open ourselves to belonging in community.

Belonging in Community Belonging in community is the sense of being part of something larger than yourself. It’s about connecting with people who share your values and interests, and working together towards a common goal or purpose. This can be incredibly empowering, and can give us a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives.

There are many ways to belong in a community and you probably participate in far more communities than you realize – the company you work for, a spiritual community, your neighborhood, city, and country, volunteer organizations, your or your children’s school, the list goes on.

By participating and belonging to these groups, you connect with people who share your interests and work together to make a positive impact on the world.

Being part of a community can give you a sense of belonging, purpose, and fulfillment that is difficult to achieve on your own.

Belonging in a community also provides a sense of accountability. When you are part of a group, you are more likely to be held accountable for your actions, be encouraged to do your best and push beyond your own limitations.

Being part of a community can also provide opportunities for personal growth and development. You can learn from others, gain new skills and

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knowledge, and explore new perspectives.

It can also provide a sense of validation and recognition, which can boost your self-esteem and confidence.

Belonging is not just about fitting in with others. It’s about finding your own unique place in the world and making meaningful connections with others. By prioritizing your own personal growth, building healthy relationships, and being part of a community, you can achieve a sense of belonging that will enhance your overall wellbeing and help you to live a fulfilling and purposeful life.

Note from Amy: Yes, I’m switching gears. While I am still very passionate about men’s work, as I delve deeper into Belonging, it all falls under this umbrella.

So with that comes a column name change. And, if you’ve been following me, thanks for hanging in there with me on this one…I know it’s a bit dryer than my other articles. I needed to lay some groundwork so next time we can dive into the juicier bits of how we belong and the lengths we will go to in order to belong. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Amy Bliss, JD, MBA, is the founder of Amy Bliss Consulting, where she coaches and consults people, leaders and businesses on the power of belonging in the work place and in life. She also offers Leadership Coaching and Processing for Leaders. For more information, please visit amyblissconsulting. com and to connect, please email her at amy@amyblissconsutling.com or schedule a Discovery Call at https://amybliss.as.me/.

You can read more about her men’s work at https://thewarriorcore.com.

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CREATING ONE TOUGH MOTHER

BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO I PHOTOS BY LSHOT PHOTOGRAPHY

Who knew that when I started traveling the pot-holed, boulder-filled road to advocate for a better life for my son? I would meet a pageant queen, a publisher, an author, a leadership coach, and another advocate Mom. These women helped me find my authentic voice and brand me as Rochester Woman Online’s “One Tough Mother.” I am so thankful for the support and help of my friends to make my vision for the future of “One Tough Mother” come alive. Below is a little of my story and the story of the graphic designer who created my logo.

I have advocated and fought to end Duchenne for 25 years here in Rochester and Washington, DC. My son Jonathan was diagnosed at the age of 4 with Duchenne. He is now 29. With the current medical treatments, Duchenne patients’ lifespan has increased into their 30s.

Not too long ago, the prognosis was the loss of life before age 20.

Duchenne muscular dystrophy is a genetic disorder characterized by progressive muscle loss. It affects many body parts, deteriorating the skeletal, heart, and lung muscles.

Duchenne affects approximately 1 out of every 5,000 live male births.

About 20,000 children are diagnosed with Duchenne globally each year.

Currently, there is no cure.

I’ve served on the Board of Directors for Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy (PPMD). https://www.parentprojectmd. org/ PPMD certified the University of Rochester as a comprehensive Duchenne Care Clinic in February 2019. This was the first Duchenne comprehensive 114

care clinic in New York that would use and follow the best practices of care outlined by the CDC. This was a huge win for New York State.

Jessica Fabus Cheng (Mrs. New York International) and I met during Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy’s annual advocacy conference in Washington, DC. She advocated for her cousin,

and I advocated for my son Jonathan.

When Jonathan was born, I was hopeful for my son’s future. I couldn’t wait until he was independent and could talk and walk. But Duchenne had other plans for my son. Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is a cruel disease. It slowly robbed my son’s independence; now, at 29, he relies on an aide for all his basic needs or me. Luckily, he can still feed himself.

It was a blow to receive the diagnosis

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of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy; in 1997, there were no standards of care.

I wanted to curl up in a ball and not deal with the world. It took me a few months of research to understand that I had to figure out the best approach to my son’s care. That’s when I found Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy.

I started attending PPMD’s annual care conference. This conference is the largest, most comprehensive, international yearly conference focused entirely on Duchenne.

Today it gathers nearly 500 families each year to learn the latest progress and approach to care in the fight to end Duchenne. Families also gather for support, strength, camaraderie and to hear from families on similar journeys. Based on the information I received at the conference, I was able to come back to Rochester and build Jonathan’s care team. I don’t have a medical background.

Jonathan’s pediatrician told me I knew more about Duchenne than she did. I was in unfamiliar territory educating doctors and specialists on the care my son should have.

I was determined to make the lives of the families dealing with Duchenne a lot less scary, provide hope for the future, and provide the best quality of life I could for my son. There is still much work to do to extend the prognosis of this disease. Far too many Duchenne patients still pass away in their teens and early twenties. My experience navigating Duchenne also applies to helping other rare disease families. My future vision for “One Tough Mother” is to provide all families support in navigating living with a rare disease.

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{ ONEBUSINESS TOUGH MOTHER } } { LOCAL SPOTLIGHT “I also felt confident I could succeed by providing graphic design services and delivering projects through my professional network.”

PHOTO BY BIANCA BECK PHOTOGRAPHY

Through this determination, I began as a coordinator to connect other Duchenne Families in Central and Western New York. Cheryl Prior was another Duchenne mom in this group. I had a chance to talk to her about her graphic design business.

She recently started her own design business and created my new logo.

Stonecrest Studio https://www. stonecreststudiollc.com/ How did you come up with the name of your design company?

Both my father and great-grandfather were small business owners with business names reflecting the area where they lived. Following in their footsteps, and after sorting through various options, I named my company “Stonecrest Studio” after my neighborhood.

What made you decide to begin your own company?

Before starting Stonecrest Studio, I had a long career as an in-house Creative Lead with much flexibility in my role after 15 years. Once I decided to move on from there, I didn’t think I would be happy starting over at a new firm. I also felt confident I could succeed by providing graphic design services and delivering projects through my professional network. I require a flexible work schedule to care for my youngest son, Charlie, who is living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). So, with my husband’s full support, I stepped into the opportunity to start my own business, which felt like a giant leap but also a natural next step.

If you have any advice for women entrepreneurs looking to start, what would it be?

Trust your instincts and wait until the time is right. Establishing a strong, well-connected professional network and utilizing their support to line up initial jobs to help offset your startup costs is reasonable. Be patient with yourself and keep a growth mindset.

This advice was shared with me… find five people you trust and make them your unofficial board members.

Include some friends who are business owners, a mentor in your field, and maybe a parent, sibling, or spouse – then check in with your board members frequently and share your business updates and gather their input with an open mind.

What’s the thing you like the most about using your Architectural Engineering and Construction (AEC) experience to help others achieve their design vision?

My AEC experience taught me how to build client trust and involve clients in the creative process. While working in the AEC space, I worked with thousands of clients on thousands of creative projects. Aside from creating and designing, my favorite part was developing client relationships and partnerships.

to and used my creativity to make your vision come to life.

Many people I’ve met who are also dealing with a rare disease want to help others and pay it forward.

What things are you doing to pay it forward?

I serve as Western and Central New York Connect Care Coordinator for PPMD. I recently accepted a new role: Development Director for My DMD Hero.

About My DMD Hero - They meet Duchenne families where they are, give them hope, and meet the practical needs of children with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. My DMD Hero helped my family fundraise for a home elevator so Charlie could safely and independently navigate our home’s three levels with ease. We are so grateful that My DMD Hero was able to offer this critical help, and now I want to help them grow and reach more Duchenne families.

Here is their website https://www. mydmdhero.com/

You designed my logo and Jessica Fabus Cheng’s logo for her compassion campaign; what was your inspiration for both of them?

Both projects were special to me because they brought awareness to DMD and accessibility. You and Jessica inspired me; I just listened ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: FEBRUARY/MARCH EDITION 2023 117

“My experience

NAVIGATING Duchenne also applies to helping other rare disease families. My future vision for “ONE TOUGH MOTHER” is to provide all families support in navigating living with a rare disease.

”

{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? } “I never thought about acting or modeling but one day while I was doing a spoken word poetry show, I was notified about an audition. I decided to audition for the role.”

Over the past several years I have competed in many poetry slams to which I have won awards from.

My passion and determination for sure.

I would also say my determination to never give up and reach my goals.

What is your background? How did you start in modeling and acting?

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

I never thought about acting or modeling but one day while I was doing a spoken word poetry show, I was notified about an audition. I decided to audition for the role. I did not get the role but it sparked a fire in me to pursue acting because I liked being in front of the camera.

Through my acting gigs in was able to expand my career into modeling as well.

The industry is over saturated with social media gimmicks that it is hard for people with no gimmicks to break into the industry.

What are three things that make you smile?

My family. Performing/ filming and I do love a good horror movie.

What are some of your dreams and aspirations?

If you could travel to any year in a time machine, what year would you choose and why?

My goal is to be a full-time working actor doing films and television. I would love to take on dramatic roles in films.

I would love to travel to 1966 and meet my favorite poet Miguel Pinero

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

On the big screen of course.

Who are some of the people who have inspired or mentored you over the years?

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Spend time with my family. Read and write poetry. I love to travel to New places. You can always find me in the gym in my spare time as well.

What do you think is the biggest problem facing young up and coming actors and models in 2023?

My favorite poet is Miguel Pinero and my favorite actor is Tom Hardy.

My grandmother always told me to never give up on your dreams. That has stuck with me to this day.

What do you feel sets you apart from others?

What is your favorite thing to do in your freetime?

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Nothing. I am happy just the way I am What’s one of the most fun childhood memories you have?

Watching old scary horror movies with my grandmother before she passed away.

NATE

TAYLOR DR JACKIE BERRY

Tell us a little bit about yourself Nate.

I was born and raised in Rochester NY where I went to Charlotte middle school. I graduated from Edison Tech High School. I wrote my first short story when I was in 5th grade which led me to my love of writing poetry.

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“My

GRANDMOTHER always told me to never give up on your DREAMS. That has stuck with me to this day.

”

{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } { WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? “My goal is to be a full-time working actor doing films and television. I would love to take on dramatic roles in films“

What has been your favorite project to date?

The current film I just finished called The Devil Is On My Track coming soon on Amazon Prime and Tubi.

Name one person you have worked 126

with that has inspired you and why?

My friend Jacqueline Harrell who always inspires me to never give up.

What do you find the most challenging about the industry?

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All of the competition in the film and television industry

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{{ {THE LORI FACTOR SHIFT+CONTROL BUSINESS TALK }}

INTRODUCING LORI BRUTON

BY LORI BRUTON I PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD

Tell us a little bit about who Lori Bruton is.

I am real and raw. My faith and family are most important to me. I enjoy coffee, cafes, dark chocolate, dancing, music, writing, and traveling. I am a loving, compassionate woman who likes to have fun. I broke out of the corporate cube because entrepreneurship is in my blood thanks to my dad. My parents divorced when I was 13. At 20 years old, I married a wonderful man and had two amazing sons who I adore. I never thought I would end up divorced. After forgiving myself, I reinvented myself and learned to enjoy life. The best part is my travel adventures. Being a travelpreneur gives me the opportunity to use an app to travel, be a travel writer, and meet amazing people in many places.

your behavior to live a purposeful life.

What is The LORI Factor?

The LORI Factor is a guide to find your way in life and live the life you were born to live. It’s how I transformed, got unstuck, and found the right path.

Sharing it with others is healing broken hearts and impacting lives on many levels.

My book, The LORI Factor: Live the Life You Were Born to Live, goes into detail. The core four steps are:

How do you stay motivated and try and inspire others?

Let me be totally vulnerable. The truth is no one is motivated 100% of the time.

Sometimes I need to rest and reset. We all must take time for that. I have found ways to stay motivated most of the time and to turn things around when I have difficult moments. First, having awareness of my thoughts, words, and mood is key. When I need to shift into a better state, I breathe, pray, journal, and put on some lively music and dance.

Getting outside in nature is always grounding and uplifting. Listening to a motivational message in the morning sets up the day for success. My favorite one is Les Brown in the Georgia Dome.

L – LOOK through the Lord’s loving eyes to see a larger vision of your life and create a vision of yourself beyond your circumstances and mental conditioning.

O – OPTIMISM. Have an optimistic spirit and the possibility that you can change your life.

R – REINVENT yourself. You’ve got to be willing to make radical changes in

I – INVEST in yourself. Bet on you.

You’re an asset to the planet.

You have something special. You have greatness in you. You’re a masterpiece because you are a piece of the Master.

How did you get the name “The Queen of Hope”?

The people who have heard my transformational story found hope themselves and began calling me the Queen of Hope. One person said beneath my quiet demeanor lies a woman of steel.

She recognized that I am on a mission to use my gifts, passion, wisdom, and experience to share my powerful message of hope, inspiration, and resilience that will make a difference.

Reading good books (including my own books) and surrounding myself with likeminded people keeps me inspired and

motivated. Sharing resources, experiences, and messages of encouragement not only inspires me but inspires others as well. When I see how what I write, say, and do helps people, it warms my heart . It gives me purpose, energizes and motivates me to keep on keeping on and helping people achieve their goals and dreams.

What are some of the challenges you face regarding being an author and coach and how have you overcome them?

I tend to stay too quiet and haven’t made my books, services, and products known. I know my books are meant to get into many more hands. The challenge is not enough people know they exist.

Effective marketing has eluded me as well as learning how to set up and connect technical aspects.

Where are the people who need what I have? Not knowing that has been a challenge. I have had moments of discouragement and wanting to leave my book and resources on the shelf. But, doing that would not help anyone. Here I am, being bold and courageous and busting through obstacles and getting in front of more people. What I have is valuable and enriches lives.

The word ‘coach’ can have many meanings. I define my role more as a guide and cheerleader, connecting people to resources and making referrals as needed. Some people think of a coach as a counselor. That’s not me.

I can lead, guide, and encourage you and show you a better way (especially with travel).

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{{ THE LORI FACTOR } SHIFT+CONTROL “The Good Book says, “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” ”

What are the three most important words that you feel describe you and why?

Fun, funny, and creative. Fun keeps life exciting. I am not a ‘same thing, different day’ kinda gal. Variety is the spice of life. Speaking of spices, I love being spontaneous, surprising people, and baking for them or going on an adventure. My son and daughter-inlaw remember many times in many places when we laughed until we cried.

Laughter is the best medicine.

Writers love words. Playing with words and turning them into funny jokes and silly stories in conversation fills the atmosphere with joy.

My creativity is expressed mainly with writing. It’s fun to write in my journal by the water, write poems, and create new ideas and posts. In fact, I created the tagline Lori’s Stories By the Water.

What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Letting go of a man who I was deeply in love with. He knew how to play the game well. I didn’t know he was just acting. Realizing I was a pawn in his play was devastating.

I attended a Gary Coxe event in Florida and was invited on stage to have my breakthrough moment. I was asked questions and discovered I was in a toxic relationship. I didn’t want to believe it, but it was true. It was then I decided to love myself enough to let him go.

It was a tough decision, but I knew it was the right decision. It took a huge 134

amount of courage to call that man from the stage. We were dying together, not growing together. It wasn’t healthy. The breakthrough caused a breakdown and a broken heart for a while. It took time for my heart wounds to heal, and some spots are still tender.

That was a defining moment that impacted my life forever. That’s when I broke up with self-sabotage. I knew my mission was to help heal the brokenhearted, beginning with myself.

After that event, my first book poured out of me entitled: Hole to Whole: Journey To Hope and Transformation.

What do you enjoy most about what you do? What do you find the hardest part about it?

Words have power. I enjoy seeing how my divinely inspired written and spoken words impact lives and touch hearts.

People light up and are filled with hope.

The lives I touch shows people not just how to cope, but that they don’t have to strive, they can thrive. I enjoy helping people with my gift of writing and the way I travel, and offering resources for their mind, body, and soul. The hardest part about it is when people are not open.

Knowing I have solutions for them, but they are not willing to listen or invest in themselves. I know it’s their choice. I had to learn you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. Even worse is when they did experience a solution, did get results, but decided not to continue.

Name someone who inspires you and why.

Les Brown, international motivational speaker and author, inspires me. One of

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his books is, You’ve Got to be Hungry: The Greatness Within to Win. Les tells his story about adversity and abandonment.

He was hungry to overcome and decided to win in life. He helps others do the same. Les asked me a question in an interview: “What was a defining moment in your life; a moment that changed everything?” The most embarrassing, shameful moment came to mind when I told him that I ended up passed out in a church parking lot. (Gasp!)

From there, Les took me under his wing and helped me develop The LORI Factor.

He wrote the Foreword for that book.

He trained me how to find my Power Voice so I can step into speaking and sharing my powerful message that will impact and save lives. I am thankful to Les for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. He saw greatness in me. That was life changing.

What is the best advice/information you have ever been given?

My friend, John Paul Yalimanchili, was in town. He told me to stay connected with the Browns and to write my book.

This was confirmation. I knew God spoke to me through John Paul that day. I am thankful. I continue to write, write, write.

What would you say is your greatest accomplishment to date?

First, choosing life. Using the gift of life and writing, I achieved published author status. Writing books, blogs, and articles, and putting myself out there took courage, perseverance, vulnerability, and hard work. It is worth it. When I held the first hard copy of my book in my

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{ THE LORI FACTOR }

“Fun keeps life exciting. I am not a ‘same thing, different day’ kinda gal.” hands with my name on it, my dream became reality. I also wrote a children’s book and am writing more.

What do you have planned next for The LORI Factor?

Under the umbrella of The LORI Factor is travel and wellness. I have in my hands the Netflix of travel. Travel is an essential key for improving wellness. I invite anyone to look at what I have to offer. You’ll be glad you did. Feel free to message me.

I am developing a course that helps people get unstuck, transform and achieve their goals and dreams.

What has been the greatest challenge in learning coping skills to deal with having diabetes and Bell’s Palsy?

When Bell’s Palsy hit me it was hard to face my own face. It was devastating and disfiguring. I know God is the potter and I am the clay, but really? I wanted the ‘molding’ to be done already and to be restored. For a while, I lost my smile. My facial expressions were hindered, which affected communication. Managing diabetes is a daily challenge with many variables. I’ve learned natural ways to correct and stabilize blood sugars.

What I have done to cope with these challenges is stay in faith, believe I can do better every day, have hope, and keep a positive attitude. Focusing on solutions and not listening to dooms 136

day scenarios is essential. The Serenity Prayer is comforting: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Most importantly, I focus on God’s healing power and I believe in miracles.

What makes you so passionate about helping others?

The Good Book says, “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love— and the greatest of these is love.” I am passionate about sharing the greatest love of all. Everyone needs to be loved and accepted. I know what it’s like to be in pain physically, mentally, and emotionally. It bothers me to see others in pain. I have the heart to help others however I can. We are meant to enjoy life, be healthy, and fulfill our purpose and destiny.

I remember when my mother would bring meals to people who were in need and send cards. I carried on that same expression of love and caring. Animals are no exception. I was the one who fed the stray cats even though my mom told me not to.

What is one thing most people don’t know about you?

When I was in third grade, my dad, mom, sister, and I took a 6-week road trip out West. It was fascinating to see Old Faithful and going to sites in

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California. That’s when I fell in love with travel. It was a fascinating experience and a wonderful memory that I will treasure forever.

Where will we see you next?

My travels will bring me to Cancun in the Spring. I am excited to share how I travel and invite others to do the same.

You can see my published travel articles and read my blog anytime.

Books signings are being scheduled.

Stay tuned.

I am speaking at Kelly Breuer’s 2023 Health & Wellness Expo on June 17th at Perinton Square. Thank you, Kelly.

I will be in historic Aiken, South Carolina, in the fall for a press trip and writer retreat. Stay tuned for stories on that trip.

I plan to get invitations to speak and be a guest on podcasts. If anyone is looking for a guest, please reach out.

Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or send an email.

Much love, Lori Bruton The Queen of Hope https://www.facebook.com/loribrutonbiz https://www.instagram.com/loribrutonbiz hello@loribruton.com

WHAT’S YOUR MISSION

BY JOSHUA MICHAEL KING I PHOTOS BY SOLON QUINN

Establishing our own personal mission statement helps us to maintain our focus and forward way of thinking or acting, just the same way that the greatest groups, businesses, organizations, and nations do.

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{ LEADERSHIP, LIFE & LIFESTYLE }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Economic growth and power are the means, not the definition, of a great nation.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

It helps us to ensure that we are on the right track and can hold ourselves accountable, as well as differente what we are willing to participate in and why. Far too often, people are just moving about the world, with no real mission. Our mission is aligned with our purpose. It helps us to prioritize and be productive in all the things we are involved in.

Some believe that being busy is one way that we can reach greatness, but we aren’t always sure of how this all fits into our bigger picture or why we don’t always feel fulfilled in what we are doing. Busy and productive are not the same thing. Further, some associate their level of success with how busy they are or how much is in the bank account, rather than measuring it against that mission. Surely we all love the things that money can buy. However, having a solid mission and achieving it can provide the greatest riches your life has ever seen.

privilege offers a definitive linking to the positioning one has. It does not, however, indicate whether one will be successful with achieving greatness or the mission. Greatness is seemingly only temporary like one’s position, as witnessed by the many that reach the peak of the mountain and simply just plateau.

“Economic growth and power are the means, not the definition, of a great nation”, says author Jim Collins, as he explains why business thinking is not the answer to addressing systemic and social health, wealth, or sustainability.

The same thing coukd be applied to our personal life and how we grow to understand ourselves. Likewise, establishing a presence and leveraging

A well developed mission can lead far beyond greatness and when you’re constantly and consistently revisiting that mission, one can expect to evoke an exceptional level of greatness: excellence.

as well as one’s community.

The Trifecta. Excellence is not perfection, though. It is a process of eliminating distractions and evoking a more personal dedication.

It is an internal examination of the external influences that trouble our community. Excellence challenges us to to understand ourselves on a level that continues the journey beyond the peak, and affords those that are just seeking greatness a unique opportunity to build higher. Excellence is immediately associated with the mission we have designed for ourselves.

Our own mission should be private and quite personal, but it can be witnessed by those around us. It allows us to be included in a world that is much larger than us. How we go about life circles back to that mission.

Greatness is a destination, while Excellence is the actual journey.

Excellence is a state of mind that encourages constant development of oneself, one’s home and family,

Our mission is linked to it all.

So what if you don’t have a mission?

Spend some time examining the mission statement of a company or organization that you love. Look at how it has been drafted to specify what they do and how they achieve that. Some are more involved than others, but it is always clear and

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{ LEADERSHIP, LIFE & LIFESTYLE } “So what if you don’t have a mission? Spend some time examining the mission statement of a company or organization that you love.”

concise. In leadership, it’s important that your mission isn’t just about you alone, but about how you interact with and take on the world. Your mission embodies not just who you are or what you do, but includes what skills, attributes, and traits you 142

have that maybe others don’t. Your morals, values, and principles are readily accessible within the context of your mission, also. All of this builds character and enhances one’s integrity, whether at home, at work, or in the community. Unleash your

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maximum potential by giving yourself a guideline to live by. A mission is more than just a motto, it’s a way of life.

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ADDRESSING

TEENAGE

HOMELESSNESS

BY MELINDA SPIRE

Each year, thousands of New York’s youths run away from home, are told to leave their homes, or experience homelessness. Youth face these challenges not just in cities, but in suburban and rural communities as well.

Often, youth are trying to escape abuse, neglect, or conflict in their home or think they can make it out on their own. Many of our young adults have left the foster care system, wanting to be out of the system but encounter the barriers of returning to their birth families.

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{ CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“On the street, youth can become victims of violence, struggle with mental health challenges, engage in substance use, and be forced to trade sex for basic needs.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

While statistics across the nation vary, upwards of 40-50% of young people are homeless within the first 18 -24 months. While many children do find stable housing and support within days or weeks of becoming homeless, others may need months or longer before they return home or find another permanent solution.

And currently most larger cities are experiencing homelessness and housing crises.

Many youth and young adults are simply not equipped or ready to navigate life on their own. They are still developing physically and emotionally and young adults under 25 years have yet to fully reach their brain development when they experience homelessness.

They are less likely to complete their educational goals (especially higher education), develop general life skills, and obtain stable employment. On the street, youth can become victims of violence, struggle with mental health challenges, engage in substance use, and be forced to trade sex for basic needs.

As of September 2021 (the most recent data available), the number of homeless children in New York State

was approximately 151,000; 104,000 outside of NYC. This is based on data from the National Center for Homeless Education which reported that NYS had the highest number of homeless youths in the United States for the 2019-2020 school year.

It’s important to note that this number may have changed since 2021, and that the COVID-19 pandemic has definitely further impacted the number of homeless children in

NYS and throughout the country.

Additionally, measuring homelessness can be challenging, and there may be individuals who are homeless but not captured in official counts.

Often youth are “couch surfing”, staying with friends, bouncing around between places so they are not considered officially homeless.

Yet they often cannot meet their basic needs and require assistance with food, transportation, and money.

There are many ways that the community can rally together and

help address youth homelessness.

Here are some suggestions:  Donate to organizations that support homeless youth. Many organizations provide shelter, food, and other resources for homeless youth. Donating money, food, clothing, or other items can help these organizations meet the needs of homeless youth in the community.  Volunteer with organizations that support homeless youth. Many organizations rely on volunteers to provide services to homeless youth.

Volunteering can involve helping with food distribution, t u t o r i n g , mentoring, or other activities.  Raise awareness about youth homelessness.

Educate yourself and others about the challenges faced by homeless youth in your community. Share information of fundraisers or, host a community event or fundraiser, or write to local policymakers to advocate for change.  Advocate for policy changes to address youth homelessness. Support policies and initiatives that aim to prevent youth homelessness, such as increasing affordable housing options, expanding access to mental health

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{ CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS }

“The one piece of advice I’ve never forgotten is to remember that life is a journey. The path to success or a goal isn’t going to be linear.”

and substance abuse services, and providing more funding for education and job training programs.  Offer support and resources to homeless youth directly. If you encounter homeless youth, provide them with resources such as shelter information, food, and clothing. If you feel comfortable, offer to help them find additional resources or connect them with local organizations that provide services to homeless youth.  Become a mentor. There are multiple programs in every community that provide training and resources to become a mentor for our youth adults 146

and youth aging out of foster care and in need of support and guidance.

us at 1.585.232.5110 or email us at info@capbook.org.

Overall, addressing youth homelessness requires a community-wide effort. By coming together to provide support and resources, we can help ensure that every young person has a safe and stable place to call home.

References: https://nche.ed.gov/ Runaway and Homeless Youth | Runaway and Homeless Youth | OCFS (ny.gov)

If you want to help, make a difference at a local level, but don’t know where to start – please reach out to Children Awaiting Parents (CAP)! CAP has many ways you can help, and we can connect you to local, trusted community partners that assist in aiding the homeless as well. Contact

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CHERRY RAE When I initially sat down to write this article, I could not think of what I wanted to say…because how do you write a story on the backs of so many who have had to struggle ahead of you to get what you received so easily. In this article, I wanted to be able to adequately discuss my pain and struggle, while also correctly remembering my privilege. I want to be able to ignite an important conversation about the imperative aspects of women’s healthcare, while also advocating for body positivity and gender expression, and equality. But where do I even start?

So, I guess I’ll start at the beginning.

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{ {IN HEALTHY HIGHWAY SHIFT+CONTROL } }} HER OWN WORDS “We as a community need to have a deeper discussion and movement to advance not only women’s healthcare and insurance options but also gender-affirming care and health treatment options.”

Growing up, no matter where you looked, from ad campaigns to pop culture, to family members, the emphasis on having large breasts was everywhere.

We were constantly conditioned to think that we were only aesthetically appealing if everything else about us as women was small, except for what we grow on our chests and if you were lacking in that area, don’t worry, the beauty world was there to help. We had every option to enlarge and enhance our breasts from boob jobs to padded bras, I think we can all remember when the wonder bra came out. The bigger they appeared, the more praise we received.

I fell victim to this myself as well. I was an early bloomer, so it was constantly speculated how big mine would grow to be, because the women on my mother’s side had larger breasts, while the women on my father’s side were smaller. I was always athletic and was into sports, so I truly never wanted them to get very big – and I always emulated celebrities that did not have a big display so to speak – Sporty Spice, P!nk, Fergie, etc.

But, when it didn’t appear that they would get very large, my mother was very open to buying me padded and push-up bras until one day I finally sprouted larger breasts of my own. I fed into this beauty standard for years.

Finally, I couldn’t do it anymore.

I always envied men for never having to worry about how their chests looked in a shirt and could just throw something on and go. I wanted that same freedom, but I was always reminded that I have boobs and I need to make them look acceptable and presentable. Over the

years, we’ve started seeing movements geared toward a discarding of bras and covering up our upper private parts because finally women were fed up with being sexualized against their will for parts they cannot control if they have or don’t. And god forbid if someone says they want a reduction either for aesthetic reasons or to alleviate pain, everyone and their mother has an opinion on why that person is making a mistake. Lest we forget, our bodies our not our own, they belong to everyone else who doesn’t have to live in them.

This brings me to the core of my story.

A few years ago, I started to experience intense breast pain on and off every so often. When I went to my doctor, they sent me for some tests and they told me that it was just dense breast tissue and I probably had a fibroid and there was nothing to be done, or it was blamed on my hormones – take some painkillers and wait it out. This continued over the next few years, always with the same answers until this last year when I had almost every woman’s worst fear…I felt a lump in my breast. I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN immediately and had them take a look at it and they felt something too. They sent me to get a mammogram and an ultrasound at Windsong and that was a day that I will never forget. I got checked in and they brought me back for the ultrasound.

They said they didn’t see anything and wanted to send me home.

I asked about the mammogram that my doctor had also sent orders for.

They didn’t feel it was necessary and

because of my age, didn’t want to risk the radiation. I refused to leave until they did that test as well because I knew I had dense breast tissue, and they wouldn’t find anything on just the ultrasound. I insisted they follow the script given by my OB. Reluctantly they listened and brought me back to the machine. They did the scan and lo and behold they found the lump that I had been complaining about. They then wanted to run additional scans and tests. I was in that office for four hours with the worst anxiety of my life, calling my mom to let her know what was going on, close to tears but trying to keep it together until I knew for sure what was happening. Finally, they brought me in to see the doctor to discuss my scans. I was dismissed.

She told me I had several fibroids and an adenoma but there was nothing for her to do. I walked away, no biopsy, no follow-up, nothing. I experienced intense pain in my chest every single day shortly after that point for months.

It got to the point where I couldn’t wear a bra, or even stand to be touched in the slightest way. I called my OB to let them know and to ask what I should do. They said there was nothing else they could do besides send me for more tests, but if I really wanted to, I could talk to Roswell. Throughout having all of this pain, I began looking into double mastectomies and top surgery.

After a lot of self-reflection and soulsearching, I really broke down my own beauty standards and what I want my body to look like. More importantly, how I have always seen myself. If you

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{HEALTHY SHIFT+CONTROL } }} { IN HIGHWAY HER OWN WORDS “I wanted that same freedom, but I was always reminded that I have boobs and I need to make them look acceptable and presentable.’

know me, you know I dress in a more androgynous way depending on what the day calls for. I can feel my sexiest in a pair of slacks and a button-down with dress shoes, just as much as I can in a bodycon dress and heels. One outfit was always ruined by my having large breasts. I came to realize that always hated having them and if I could make them go away, I would. I started looking around on social media and began to find a whole host of people in the same boat as I was, who in fact had undergone or were undergoing gender-affirming top surgery. But it wasn’t to be able to transition from female to male but to affirm their gender nonbinary status and be able to present how they want on any given day. I realized that I wanted to be able to do that as well. I had a couple of major drawbacks from being able to fulfill that want, however.

For one, I am marketed as a plus-size curvy model. One of the hallmarks of that body standard is being bodacious and voluptuous in all of the important places. How could I still model in the area of fashion I love if I was lacking in that area? Second, I come from a very traditional family, who has had to have their minds open to a lot of things simply because of me and how I live my life and express myself. Some of it just gets swept under the rug at times, but some of it causes fights varying in their levels of seriousness and anger. What would happen after this? It would not just be something that could be ignored or forgotten about because it would be a glaring physical difference every single day. Lastly, what would my partner think? The person who was attracted to 150

my body as it was and loved my breasts.

Would they still find me attractive?

Would they choose to leave? I decided to put breast removal out of my head for the time being. Until finally, I was not left with much other option. In August of 2022, the pain had become sharp and unbearable. I called Roswell. they brought me in right away. I sat down with the breast specialist and told her everything about the pain and the scans and my previous doctors. She performed her own tests and exams.

The adenoma had grown to large to stay where it was and the fibroids on the other side were getting a little too big as well. The best course of action was removal. She left for a minute to look at my insurance options. When she came back, she told me that my insurance did not cover the removal of the masses, but it did cover genderaffirming top surgery. I was then faced with a dilemma of identity, one of which I would never have had to deal with if women’s health was taken seriously and covered the removal of fibroids and adenomas, which if left untreated, could cause cancer or lead to an obstruction of the mammary glands or milk ducts.

I had to make a choice. She could tell I was internally struggling with what to do, so she asked me a very point-blank question, do your breasts make you uncomfortable in your body? I sat there and thought about my body image and how I liked to dress and remembered the realization I had of wishing they had never developed, and I answered yes. At that point, she set me up with a counselor at Evergreen Health to

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discuss the surgery, to discuss if I was mentally and physically healthy enough to get the surgery and the possibility of having gender dysphoria and if this surgery would work to correct those feelings. We met three times and we came to the conclusion that having this surgery was the best course of action for me and will provide me the relief that I desperately needed on multiple fronts.

I would finally have my freedom and have it be medically necessary.

It is here that I would like to take a moment to recognize my immense privilege because I don’t want to make light of it or gloss over it. I have fully aware that thousands of people every single day who also need this surgery do not have it covered by any insurance or by their state depending on where they live. They are forced to pay out pocket, forcing themselves into debt or having to try to get donations to cover it, or having to go without it and continue to struggle mentally and physically.

They are forced to bind their chests and look in the mirror and feel dysphoria every single day, while mine was simply covered, although not under the reasons it should have been. We as a community need to have a deeper discussion and movement to advance not only women’s healthcare and insurance options but also gender-affirming care and health treatment options. I hope to be a part of this work and leading voice.

Now I had to tell everyone. First up was my partner. He was not relieved at the thought of me having surgery in general but ultimately wanted to me to be healthy and feel better. I was full

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“I want to be able to

ignite an IMPORTANT conversation about the imperative aspects of women’s HEALTHCARE, while also advocating for BODY POSITIVITY and gender expression, and EQUALITY.

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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }

“I can feel my sexiest in a pair of slacks and a button-down with dress shoes, just as much as I can in a bodycon dress and heels.”

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isclosure with him about the therapy sessions and the insurance coverage.

That conversation was not as pleasant.

He did have some concerns that I would later choose to do a full transition. I had to assure him that was not the case here. It caused a few arguments here and there but ultimately; he stayed and supported me and has loved me through the whole thing. Next, I told my co-workers and friends.

medically necessary caused its own set of arguments. She was concerned that I would regret getting them removed, that there had to be another way or other options. I tried to assure her that there were not, that the mass was too big and too deep to do anything else.

If nothing else, I didn’t want to be concaved or lopsided. Oddly enough, bringing the physical appearance of it into play seemed to appease her.

They were all concerned for my health and well-being, but very supportive and encouraging. I could not have asked for a better support system. Lastly, I told my mother because I knew she would be the hardest conversation. Ultimately, I left out the part about what exactly the insurance was covering and it being classified as gender-affirming surgery because as far as my doctor and I were concerned, it was really a full double mastectomy for preventative care to stop the pain and prevent a developing cancer. And that is exactly what I told her. That conversation alone with it being

She did however very quickly ask, as did other family members if I would do reconstruction or implants. I very soundly said no, as it not only would that mean more surgeries outside of the second one I was warned I may need to have after a few months in order to revise anything or remove further tissues, but implants could cause their own set of problems. Also, I just wanted to be free of boobs once and for all. And honestly, I have never been happier. I quickly threw out every single bra, cami, and bralette I ever owned and discarded every article of clothing I had that was

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purchased to accommodate my breast size. I was so relieved and throwing on a button-down for the first time after healing, was the most affirming thing I have ever experienced. There was just one question left, how do I still model?

While I was so thrilled with all of the new clothing possibilities that suddenly opened up to me, I still had to learn what would now work for this new body of mine as I am still plus-sized from the ribcage down. I took the last couple of months to really ponder and grasp that. I honestly thought I might just retire from the whole thing. I quickly realized that that wasn’t going to work for me and I would need to not only full embrace this new me, but also make others want to do the same. There needs to be a voice for this body type and this experience. Why shouldn’t it be me? I can show the world and the community, I am more than just my breasts, and so are all of you. ~Cherry

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{{ SHE HUSTLESTALK TALKS}} } {SHIFT+CONTROL BUSINESS “One piece of advice that I have been given that I have never forgotten is to treat yourself every time you get paid. You don’t want to work and not reward yourself.”

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

I am a lover of God, family, fashion, and travel. I was born and raised in Rochester, New York. I have always had a love of travel and helping others since I was a little girl. Having taken my first trip to Myrtle Beach at 8 years old, I quickly became a lover of all things travel and beaches.

I am a mother of three: two sons and a daughter. At a very young age, I began introducing them to travel. From cruises to Disney vacations to Thailand to Paris, they have experienced travel in all aspects. With over 30 states, 20 countries, 6 continents, and countless cities under my belt, I truly has a passion for travel.

I also own several rental properties. I love to buy homes, fix them up and rent them out. I thoroughly enjoy the process from beginning to end. My goal is to purchase 1 unit every year.

Besides traveling, Tarshia enjoys spending time with family. She also loves interior decorating, party planning, reading, and scrapbooking.

She also has a passion for swimwear.

After 4 years of planning and prayer, she will be launching Swim by Shanai in 2022.

I attended Clark Atlanta University, Saint John Fisher College, and LaSalle University, ultimately obtaining my Bachelor of Science in business administration and my Master of Science in Human Capital Development. I have worked in human resources for over 15 years in high level positions ranging

from nonprofit to education to global organizations. In 2019, I launched HR University, an organization that helps individuals with resume writing, interviewing tips, and more. I also help businesses from startup forms to compliance to training. Please visit hruniversity.org for more information.

Tired of the workplace “shenanigans”, I made a tough decision to fire my boss and began the journey of entrepreneurship.

What made you decide to open your own business Skyhigh Society?

Travel is an 8 trillion-dollar industry projected to be 15 trillion in the next 10 years. It is most searched on the website, one where you can have the most fun and one that allows you to create lasting memories. It’s an industry that all other industries rely on, and even during a pandemic, essential travel still took place. I love to travel so I turned my passion into profit.

What makes you hustle? What does the word “hustle” mean to you?

My children make me hustle. To me, the word “hustle” simply means, staying dedicated and consistent to the process. Having a consistent DMO (daily method of operation) is critical.

This means learning everything you can, making sacrifices, and not giving up. To hustle means to want to be great, not good. It means to work extremely hard, smart and with a sense of urgency. Whatever your goal is, you can accomplish it if you hustle.

Although the journey wasn’t easy, it was well worth it. In less than 2 years, I was able to grow her travel business to six figures, focusing on helping other began their financial freedom. In October of 2020, I began teaching others how to become successful travel agents and run and operate their own travel agency. In less than 1 year, I helped over 100 people start their journey. I am a firm believer in helping others succeed.

What is Sky High Society? How did you come up with the name for your business?

Sky High Society was created and founded by me, Tarshia Shanai. I have always had a love for travel, traveling to different states as a child and as I got older, I began traveling to different countries. In 2016, I planned a birthday trip to Thailand. It started with 8 women and ended up with me traveling alone.

I began posting pictures on social media and others began inquiring wondering if they can travel with me or plan a trip for them. This is where the creation of

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{ { SHE HUSTLES TALKS }} SHIFT+CONTROL “I have helped over 100 people start their own travel business, and hope to double that by the end of the year.”

hat will soon be Sky High Society.

that you feel have inspired you?

Our first grip trip was to Dubai, where 7 women from different states met up in New York and flew out to Dubai.

Since then, we have been to several other countries. We are now selling out most of our trips, with Bali selling out in record time in less than 24 hours.

The strong women who have inspired me are my mother and my sisters. My mother has always been a hard worker and have instilled important values and morals in me. My sisters have all inspired me: from overcoming obstacles, being resilient, teaching me certain skills, and supporting and motivating me.

We allow you to check off those breathtaking destinations off your bucket list. Furthermore, our standing relationships with tour companies, resorts and hotels enable us to negotiate and create the best experiences. We don’t just hire a third-party company. Sky High Society puts in the footwork, does the research to provide an experience and yes, it is truly an EXPERIENCE. If you are traveling with us soon, you will have the opportunity and pleasure to meet Tarshia or some of the most incredible travel coordinators.

Since opening, we have consistently been in the top 100. As of today, we are number 56 out of 78,000 agents.

We have also received countless awards including Travel Guru, Top Builder, ACE Award, Fireball Award and many others. We have also been recognized as Top Agents from ALG Group, United Vacations, American Airlines Vacations, and more.

Our experiences are a mix of leisure time, cultural experiences, sightseeing, nightlife and more. Many have said that Sky High Society pushes you to the limit. Are you ready?

Who are some of the strong women 158

What would you consider your travel specialty?

My travel specialty is the Caribbean, group travel, luxury/bucket list destinations, cruises and Disney vacations.

Caribbean- I am a Jamaica Specialist, Aruba Expert, Dominican Republic Specialist, amongst many others.

Group Travel- I have booked countless group trips. As of today, we have booked over 634 travelers within group trips.

Whether it’s a bachelorette party, girl trip, guys trip, wedding, divorce party, or birthday trip, we would love to assist you.

Luxury Destinations- if you are looking for butler service, swim up suites, concierge services or a private pool, we have the experience and capability to do it all.

Cruises- we are CLIA (Cruise Line International Association) certified). We have booked countless cruises. Whether you’re looking for an adult only cruise, luxury cruise, Disney cruise, family cruise or overseas cruise, you’ve come to the right place!

Disney Vacations- I am a graduate of the College of Disney and have the tools

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and resources to provide you with the best Disney experience.

Where has been your favorite place to visit and why?

This is always a very hard question for me to answer as I have traveled all over the world. If I had to choose, it will be Thailand. I even took my children back after I visited. It’s one of my favorite places because of the experiences. I was able to bottle feed a baby lion, feed giraffes’ bananas, and bathe with the elephants.

It also has beautiful beaches, rich culture, and amazing street food.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.

Some of my goals is to help more individuals start their travel business.

I have helped over 100 people start their own travel business, and hope to double that by the end of the year. In addition, I plan to launch my online clothing boutique within the next year, invest in 2 more rental properties this year, and relaunch my HR business next year. One of my other goals is to open a homeless shelter and a nonprofit organization for young girls.

What are some of the pros and cons of owning your own travel agency?

There are many pros to owning your own travel agency. Some of these pros include working from home as it’s a home-based business. However, you are not bound to your home. You can work on the beach or on the airplane.

You also have flexibility- you can set your own hours and put in as much time as you’d like. The startup cost and

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{ {SHE HUSTLES TALKS } SHIFT+CONTROL “The strong women who have inspired me are my mother and my sisters. My mother has always been a hard worker and have instilled important values and morals in me.”

overhead cost is extremely low. You also have control of your workload as you can choose and pick the clients you work with. In addition, there’s unlimited income potential and you have access to 8 streams of income. You are in business for yourself, but not by yourself. Whether you are starting this as a hobby or a part-time business, you will earn commission on everything that you book including activities/ excursions, vacation packages, hotels, vacation rentals, and more. The best part about it is that you can get paid for booking your own travel as well.

Some of the cons is starting entrepreneurship. If you are new to entrepreneurship, it can seem overwhelming initially. However, once you get over the learning curve, it’s a breeze. Another con is getting out of your comfort zone. .

If you could do one thing you have never done what would it be and why?

One thing that I have never done is skydiving. I am very adventurous and have done countless experiences and excursions. However, I have never done skydiving and it’s one of my last bucket list items. I am excited for the thrill.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten ?

One piece of advice that I have been given that I have never forgotten is to treat yourself every time you get paid.

You don’t want to work and not reward yourself. My father told me this at 15 and I’ve never forgotten it. He also told me

to save something every time I get paid.

On the contrary, one piece of advice that I give is “when you are tired, learn to rest, not to quit!”

What’s the most important risk you ever taken? Would you do it again?

The most important risk I ever taken was leaving my corporate job to start my journey of entrepreneurship. I absolutely would do it again. With this being said, I wouldn’t recommend jumping right

Professionally, I am constantly taking trainings, visiting hotels/resorts so I can provide a better experience for my clients and to be able to provide them feedback based on a” hands on” experience. I have traveled extensively and have done tons of training and research so that I am knowledgeable.

Where is one place you want to visit and why?

One place I want to visit is the Maldives.

I want to relax and rejuvenate. I want to experience the overwater bungalows, white sand beaches and beautiful turquoise waters. I am planning to go in 2 years.

What is the most popular travel package right now?

The most popular travel packages are to Europe, Bali, and the Caribbean.

in until you’ve had a proven business model. I recommend building up your business before fully transitioning.

How do you continue to constantly grow both personally and professionally?

I continue to grow both personally and professionally on an ongoing basis.

Personally, I am a firm believer of selfcare. Self-care is extremely important.

Also, having a work/life balance is critical if you have a family.

What do you feel makes your business unique and sets you apart from the competition?

What makes my business unique and sets me apart from the competition is in addition to holding many accreditations and being accredited by the BBB, Sky High Society also offers a 110% price match guarantee.

We guarantee the lowest price and will match any price with the same itinerary.

If we are unable to, we will give you 10% of the difference.

Furthermore, we are in the business of helping other travelers save on travel, thus helping over 100 people start their own travel business. This is a great accomplishment because less than 30 people out of 78,000 has reached this

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{ { SHE HUSTLES TALKS }} SHIFT+CONTROL “I have always had a love for travel, traveling to different states as a child and as I got older, I began traveling to different countries.”

Consequently, we provide an experience.

We allow you to check off those breathtaking destinations off your bucket list. Furthermore, our standing relationships with tour companies, resorts and hotels enable us to negotiate and create the best experiences. We don’t just hire a third-party company. Sky High Society puts in the footwork, does the research to provide an experience and yes, it is truly an EXPERIENCE.

What do you think is the biggest problem facing young entrepreneurs, especially females today?

The biggest problem facing young entrepreneurs today is not networking.

Networking can provide entrepreneurs with valuable resources, support and opportunities that can help them succeed.

Entrepreneurs who are willing to invest time and effort into building a network will see the benefits in the long run.

Next, we have consecutively produced over half a million in sales year after year.

Documentation beats conversation.

Networking is valuable to any business professional but especially entrepreneurs.

When starting out, an entrepreneur’s network can open doors to critical opportunities, knowledge, and support that can be the difference between a venture that succeeds and one that fails.

Lastly, we give back. We do an annual passport giveaway to allow others to explore the world and we do an annual scholarship giveaway.

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What is one piece of advice you would give someone currently looking to book a vacation?

One piece of advice I would give someone currently looking to book a vacation is to have realistic expectations. For example, going on all-inclusive vacation to Jamaica for 7 days, 6 nights for $1000 is unrealistic.

Where will we see you next?

Next, you will see possibly a travel podcast or me having a column on travel in a magazine. One thing you will also see me doing is travel.

Travel to Live. Live to Travel.

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“To me, the word

“HUSTLE” simply means, staying dedicated and consistent to the process.

Having a CONSISTENT DMO (daily method of operation) is critical.

This means learning everything you can, making SACRIFICES, and not giving up.

”

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{ WALKING WARRIOR } { WALKING WARRIOR }

ERIN MUSTO

BY MAYA MCNULTY

We’ve all been told at some point in our lives that the best days are in front of us, though that couldn’t be further from the truth for one local mom. Erin Musto, 40, lives in the Albany, NY area and works full time as a Family Services Coordinator at the Center for Donation and Transplant.

She’s also the President of Maddie’s Mark Foundation, a nonprofit that is known for creating “Best Days Ever” experiences for children diagnosed with serious illness and their families.

Maddie’s Mark mission is to provide opportunities, create environments and enable children and families to live a life full of Best Days Ever.

Tell us about your life before your traumatic experience or life changing event?

After high school, I attended our local community college where I met my husband Matthew. He was my tutor. He was confident, smart and so intriguing. We dated through college, with a plan to move and start our new life together. We moved from our hometown to Albany, NY. My life was perfect, like a dream come true.

Life started to move fast. We bought our first home, got married, bought a puppy and soon our first baby girl

Tell us about your childhood and where you grew up?

From a very young age I always felt like a lucky lady to grow up in a large Catholic family that valued community and faith in Northern, NY. I am the middle child of five children, and find great joy in being part of a big family. I fondly reminisce about riding my bike around our little village and making tree forts with my siblings and neighborhood friends.

My childhood was filled with “creative adventures”. I loved school and formed many long standing friendships along the way. Though I was not a popular girl in school and lacked confidence, I loved learning and absorbed every ounce of knowledge throughout. I had several teachers that really fostered my love of learning and helped build more confidence. I am forever grateful for those mentors.

Madeline was born. I’m from a big family so I wanted a big family too.

Quickly came Amelia and Lucy. We were all so happy and in love with our family of 5. I often referred to the girls as the “pod of Musto Chicks”. I’m not going to sugar coat those early days of having three babies under three years old. The piles of baby laundry was nothing compared to the exhaustion felt from the terrible twos tantrums and keeping the house tidy and afloat.

I remember the day that Madeline, my oldest, started kindergarten. She

had that same love of learning that I had. She couldn’t wait to meet her teacher, read books on her own and to eat her lunch in the cafeteria. She was full of hope and excitement. I loved that innocence about her. I could not wait for her to get off the bus everyday- she would run to me, and her sisters. That was my favorite time of day, when the bus came.

My world came crashing down when Madeline died at age 5. Madeline was diagnosed on February 3rd and went home to Jesus on February 8th. She was diagnosed with DIPG, a rare and inoperable Brain Stem tumor. My loving daughter was given a chance at 9 months to live and passed away in 5 days. Before my world fell apart, I was Erin, the loving wife, proud mom of 3 little girls. My “pod of Musto Chicks”.

After, I became many things - including mom to an angel, while still parenting 2 little girls. Our marriage dissolved after Matthew was unhappy and unfaithful.

I became lost in my own grief. It took a number of years to rebuild myself. I see my ‘self’ now; I see my strengths and not my brokenness, I see how my lovely angel has impacted me, our family and the world. I am grateful for the fortitude within me to parent my now 2 teenage daughters. I love being their mom, laughing with each other and supporting my girls through life challenges as they get older. It hasn’t been easy. When Madeline died her sisters and I wanted to ensure that the world did not forget my lovely.

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{ WALKING WARRIOR} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Maddie’s Mark mission is to provide opportunities, create environments and enable children and families to live a life full of Best Days Ever.”

I pushed forward with a mission to create Maddie’s Mark and “Best Days Ever” for others.

What did you learn?

I feel that this past decade or so really was a lot of mountains, a lot of swamp. As if I was always trudging through something hard or climbing a mountain to get to the next place.

It has been a lot, and many times it wore me out. I feel like through those difficult times, those heavy times, and those very dark times I learned to really value the light and bright times, to try to absorb the sunshine and laughter for the dark times. I believe that made trekking through possible. I learned to love my ‘self ’, and to take better care of Her. All of Her. I worked hard to learn and build boundaries, and that became a priority. I see the value in healthy boundaries as I have grown as a woman and a mom. I dove into my faults, and I worked to recognize why I had them. I gave myself grace and time to heal..

I guess I learned about the gift of grace. I learned about grace and the power of giving grace. I grew up in a Catholic home, growing in faith through my life. I always felt close to God, and saw the value of prayer and mass. I have loved that growing up. I learned about and explored others’ faith, and what they have learned and brought with them. I remember a long time ago having a conversation with a dear friend while our children played, and she was telling me about 2 important words in how she understands God 174

and faith. Over the years I have called her numerous times and requested she retell me the importance of those words again- those words are Mercy and Grace. She shared with me her understanding of Mercy: as how God shows Himself to each of us, and Grace: as a gift that you do not deserve. I know those are very simple ways of understanding very BIG concepts, but It has always made sense to me. I have since read Anne Lamott ‘Travelling Mercies’ about 100 times, and loved the candid ways she shares how she found faith, and how God showed her little Mercies through life. Grace is a gift we do not deserve. I have learned that gifting grace is, for me, a practice that helps me as I am building my ‘Self ’ as a better person, mom, friend, daughter, sister, employee, etc.

What does it mean to be a resilient woman?

I had to find myself, and build my ‘Self’. I retrained my mind and body for months to become fit and strong.

I challenged myself and proudly ran my first marathon when I was 29 years old. I never felt more in control of my life. After a full right hip replacement, I have gotten the opportunity to be active again and full of energy to care for my ‘Self ’.

I’d anoint my 2 girls with positivity, as if I was rubbing all the confidence I wish I had earlier in my childhood onto them. I see myself as a resilient woman. A WOMAN who keeps on trekking through life’s challenges.

A woman who continues to grow and build from within. A woman

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who forgives others and herself for all the twisted lessons endured and who had to learn to love her ‘Self ’.

A woman who is able to experience very challenging events in her life and keep moving forward, even if it feels like a snail’s pace through the most painful and darkest times. To be able to endure and evolve, to continue to honor the pain, experience the joy and light… and for me to look back at all the scaffolding and scars, and love the person who has gotten Her to this very moment.

Maya McNulty Walking Warrior Columnist Maya McNulty is a successful business woman, author and patient - led researcher. Her tenacity for advocacy, travel and outdoor adventure allows her to speak on global stages and experience different cultures other than her own.

A positive mindset and attitude is the cornerstone to Maya’s active lifestyle.

She has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, WebMD, Medscape, Healthline and many more.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mayamcnulty Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/ in/mayamcnulty/ Websites: www.upthebiz.com www. covidwellnessclinic.com www. walkingwarrior.org

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{ WALKING WARRIOR} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “When Madeline died her sisters and I wanted to ensure that the world did not forget my lovely. I pushed forward with a mission to create Maddie’s Mark and “Best Days Ever” for others.”

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{ WINE TIME }

SUE REUTER

FLIGHT WINE BAR PHOTOS BY MAKENNA RIVAZFAR

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

I am a proud Mom and Step Mom of 7 adult children and a new wife of 1 year to an amazing man, Harold Reuter, who supports every crazy idea I have.

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“When Flight wine bar came up for sale, I jumped back into the wine world as my own boss and I love it.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I started in the wine world at Deer Run Winery about 17 years ago. Since then I have worked in many hospitality fields and love the hospitality world.

Every job I had led to this and every boss I had taught me what type of boss I wanted to be (and sometimes what I did not want to be).

What made you decide to recently take over the reins at Flight Wine Bar? Why a wine bar?

I was hired to manage a beautiful wine bar Via Girasole in Pittsford, about 10 years ago, and it was a great job, until covid hit. When Flight wine bar came up for sale, I jumped back into the wine world as my own boss and I love it.

Tell us about the plans for Flight, and what changes you have made.

WOW! We have already made so many cosmetic changes. Took out the front benches and added high tops, painted and covered all of the chairs (with a lot of help from my friend Kathie Swackhamer), my husband is a very handy man and has made every idea I have happen. I am currently working on adding live jazz to Flight Wine Bar with the help of the Jazz man himself, Mel Henderson.

Who are some of the people that helped inspire you, especially in your business journey.

So many people gave me a chance when I had little or no experience.

George and Joan Kuyon are the owners of Deer Run Winery and they hired me when I knew nothing about wine.

They both were very sweet, family oriented people who loved to share their knowledge of wine and food pairing and that is when I fell in love with local wines. Then Nicole McLean gave me a chance to manage her brand new wine bar Via Girasole on Schoen Place. We had so much fun planning events. Nicole also made you feel like you are part of the family

and alwasy took the time to teach me more about wine.

What is your favorite wine and why?

That’s a trick question lol. I definitely gravitate towards dry reds and dry sparkling wines. However, I am smart enough to know not only do my tastes change all of the time but a wine I do not typically like, when paired with the right food can quickly become a favorite. The best part about wines is how different they all are. We experience something new every day.

Did you always want to be an entrepreneur? What did you do prior to taking over flight?

I was a stay at home Mom of 5 very busy kids and never thought about owning my own business. When I went back into the full time working world, I worked at Deer Run Winery, managed liquor stores and restaurants, Via Girasole Wine Bar, event venues and catering. One day I said to my husband “if I am going to keep working this hard, I want it to be for us”. I really missed the wine world and started looking for my own place.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.

I think I hit most of my personal goals. I don’t think it gets much better then owning a wine bar and having a great family.

Professionally, I have started using as many local businesses I can.

Bonus if it is a Woman owned business.

I am also working on giving back to the community. We offer several ways to fund raise at Flight Wine Bar and have a few on the calendar. I have been donating to local fundraisers and support the organizations our staff is involved with, like Wild Wings.

How do you balance being an entrepreneur and all of its challenges with your family life?

The only way I could be doing this is with the support of our family. It

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“The best part about wines is how different they all are. We experience something new every day. “ helps that our children are all adults.

I can not imagine how young families manage. It also helps our kids and friends like wine, beer and cider. They stop by all the time to see us. I found a job I can drink wine, cook food and socialize. It really is the best!

If you could do one thing you have never done, what would it be and why?

I would like to volunteer in our community. Through Flight, I have met Gwen Clifton who is opening a woman’s shelter in the city and the way she glows when she talks about it. Not only is she helping these women but you can tell she is doing something for herself spiritually at the same time. I am hoping to get more involved with Gwen’s shelter once that time comes.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten ?

My husband is constantly telling me that I deserve this. I think as women, we never give ourselves enough credit and praise. I always worried I didn’t know enough, have enough experience, did not have a college diploma.... but it really does come down to hard work and dedication to get where you want to be.

What’s the most important risk you’ve ever taken? How did it play out for you?

I think it is every new job. It is always so scary to start a new job. Some days “fake it till you make it” was my mantra.

How do you continue to constantly

g r ow b o t h p e r s o n a l l y a n d professionally? What have been some things that have worked well for you, and some that have not.

Personally I try to make sure we always have time for our kids. Still love Sundays dinners (even if it’s not every Sunday).

When we get all of the kids together it is such a laugh fest! They are all competitive, snarky and very funny.

Professionally I am just trying to learn something new every day and make new connections. Rochester is such a beautiful city and everyone I have met wants to help each other.

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out?

I would have moved faster towards

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{ WINE TIME } “My husband is constantly telling me that I deserve this. I think as women, we never give ourselves enough credit and praise.”

owning my own place. Again, I never gave myself enough credit that I could ever be my own boss. Never thought I was smart enough or had enough education.

I am always telling my daughters to aim big. They are all such hard workers and deserve it all.

I would also have taken advantage of networking much more early on. We have so many ways to meet new people who can help us along our journey. Visit Rochester and BOSSY are a couple of examples of ways to meet friendly people who want to support each other.

When I need to find something or someone. I make 1 call and get several suggestions for what I am looking for.

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It’s like having an enormous group of family and friends by your side.

• SIP: What do you taste?

• SAVOR:

What are the 3 must have items for a wine bar?

A smile, cleanliness and great wine.

If you have those 3 things customers will be happy and want to come back.

Smiles are very infectious.

The best part is this can be something different for everyone

What do the 5 S’s in wine tasting stand for?

• SEE: Look at the wine, what do you see? Color, legs, ...

• SWIRL: Give it air. Swirl the wine a couple times.

• SNIFF: What do you smell? Smell is the main sense used in wine tasting.

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What are your plans for the next 3 years at Flight?

To have as much fun as possible. We are currently working on a new menu for the spring with Rochester themed flights, wine classes, live jazz, fund raisers, happy hours, private parties, Stella Glass engraving nights, beer tastings, bridal showers, corporate happy hours, engagement parties, ........ You name it we are working on it.

SUZANNA DUTRO PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD PHOTOGRAPHY

“A good rule of thumb for removing pieces from your home is to take out 30 to 50% of what you normally live with in order to prepare it for staging.”

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{ STAGING WITH SUZANNA }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“My best suggestion is to take it room by room leaving only the things that help elevate the space! “

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

One of the first questions that I receive when someone is thinking of selling their home is what do I need to do to get ready? If you are going to continue to occupy the property while it is on the market this can be a challenge!

Depending on your individual time frame this might need to be a quick process or it could be a long process to address accumulation from living in a home for many years.

My best suggestion is to take it room by room leaving only the things that help elevate the space! Remove all pieces that do not fit properly or do

not show function.

A good rule of thumb for removing pieces from your home is to take out 30 to 50% of what you normally live with in order to prepare it for staging.

Often the most impactful thing we can do with an occupied staging project is to edit! We get used to living with pieces that do not function and do not show well for the purpose of selling.

Buyers need to experience properties at their best and highest use! Seeing a home staged shows function, ideal use and the most aesthetically pleasing version of your home!

Top tips to get ready for staging: Edit -Deep Cleaning -Touching up paint and trim and in some situations repainting in neutral current colors.

-Cleaning carpets so that they look and smell fresh.

As a Seller preparing the space to be shown in the best possible light is the best place to start! From there you can create a blank slate that can be staged to elevate your property to the top of the market!

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{ QUEEN OF { SHIFT+CONTROL COMMERCIAL REAL } ESTATE }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“When first speaking with a business owner, the initial conversation always includes determining a comfortable budget.“

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Who doesn’t love more money? When first speaking with a business owner, the initial conversation always includes determining a comfortable budget.

We discuss the differences between price and value. Price is just the dollar amount , but the value is so much more impactful. There are pros and cons to both with large economic impacts. For many businesses, especially if they are just launching or securing their first space, leasing is truly the best avenue. It’s necessary to factor in initial cash to start up, cost of renovation, future growth and expansion needs, and flexibility to relocate should the location not be ideal. Let’s dive a little deeper into each of these factors.

Let’s talk about the space itself. When touring spaces, there is never a turnkey situation. The space will need renovation for the new user to better suite their operations, esthetic and overall vision.

The big question is, who pays for this remodel? It’s simple if a business is buying the building because they are paying themselves! So, on top of a down payment and closing costs, now add in the renovations. When leasing, there are always 3 options of who pays: the landlord, the tenant, or a combination of the landlord and tenant. The latter option is the one 196

that I see most commonly. While each situation is unique and negotiations vary, one aspect remains constant each party wants to contribute as little as possible to renovations! This is a reason why having an expert negotiator on your side is vital! We will guide you through understanding the landlord’s responsibilities, government requirements to obtain permits,

and renovations involving licensed professionals, etc. In a situation where the landlord delivers the space to the tenant fully remodeled, the responsibility and out of pocket costs fall on the landlord. At times, the costs of the renovation will be added back to the monthly rent for the tenant to reimburse the landlord for the costs. In this scenario, the tenant is still benefiting by using the landlord’s money upfront and

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the payback term is over the 5 or 7 years of the lease. This tactic also helps new or small businesses open a location!

A business has now been open for a few years and business is booming! They have hired additional employees and have now outgrown their space. For a tenant that leases, they will likely be able to relocate within their landlord’s portfolio. Whether the expansion option is the adjacent space, a different floor in the building or a nearby building, landlords with large portfolios provide a lot of growth options. By this point, the business has built a good relationship with the landlord and the landlord will be flexible while helping the business expand.

If a business buys a building, they may have the option to add an addition.

All in all, landlords help small businesses get started!

In my opinion, the biggest reason to lease versus buy for a small business is that landlords are invested in your success. If you don’t succeed, then they don’t succeed.

Landlords will help introduce you and market you. Many landlords have a marketing team to help promote the new business to their other tenants and on their social media. When you buy, all marketing and relationships are solely on you. As a buyer, there is no one else that is invested financially into your success. Whereas, with a

GIVING THE GIFT

OF SAVED MONEY FOR BUSINESS OWNERS IN 2023

BY DARA PETRALIA I PHOTOS BY MICHELE ASHLEE

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{ QUEEN OF COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE }

“In my opinion, the biggest reason to lease versus buy for a small business is that landlords are invested in your success.” a start up the landlord has invested their own funds into getting the space ready for you and therefore invested in your success!

As the economy adjusts to all the complex effects of Covid, the big financial opportunity for tenants is to explore what lease options are currently available. Often their lease has renewal options built in already, which is actually higher than modern day lease rates for retail and office spaces. Financially, tenants could save money on a monthly 198

basis by relocating! Is there really any better gift to give a business owner than more money in their pocket?

It is a nominal investment of time on the owner’s end, yet the results warrant the time spent.

I must admit, as a broker I am passionate about helping small businesses find the right space! In my experience, business owners get comfortable at their location and aren’t always open to exploring new options. If I take 4 hours to tour spaces together and 5 hours of lease negotiations, the result could be hundreds or thousands saved every month, increasing profitability.

I always say we are so fortunate in this area to have wonderful landlords, both small and large, to place tenants.

Whatever it is you are looking for, it’s out there and I can help you negotiate the most favorable terms!

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Contact Dara Petralia, the Queen of Commercial Real Estate at 764dara@ gmail.com

“As the ECONOMY

adjusts to all the complex effects of Covid, the big financial OPPORTUNITY for tenants is to explore what lease options are currently AVAILABLE.

”

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{ YOUR INSURANCE ANGEL }

INFLATION’S IMPACT ON YOUR INSURANCE RATES

BY ANGEL BUNCE I PHOTO BY LUKE LAPORTA

Do you ever feel like your car insurance rates keep on increasing, seemingly for no reason? You’re not alone. Due to recent inflation, a rise in premium costs is increasing insurance shopping among policyholders. Claims costs are also going up with supply chain and inflation pressures. Here’s what you need to know: Insurance and Inflation Inflation is an increase in the general price level of goods and services in an economy. It is measured by calculating the percentage change in the Consumer Price Index (CPI) over time.

Inflation can impact insurance in several ways..

Increased Cost of Claims: As the cost of goods and services increase, the cost of claims made against an insurance policy may also rise. For example, if a policyholder makes a claim for damages to their home, the cost to repair or replace the damaged property may be higher due to inflation.

Increased Premiums: Insurance companies may need to increase premiums to keep up with rising costs of claims. As the cost of claims increase, insurance companies may need to increase premiums to maintain their profit margins and ensure they have sufficient funds to 204

pay out claims.

Changes in Coverage Limits: Inflation may also impact the coverage limits of insurance policies. The coverage limit of a policy is designed to cover the cost of a loss, but as the cost of goods and services increase, the coverage limit may no longer be sufficient to cover the full cost of a loss.

Impact on Investment Returns: Insurance companies typically invest the premiums they collect to generate investment income. Inflation can impact investment returns, which can in turn impact the ability of insurance companies to pay out claims.

Changes in Insurance Products: Inflation can also impact the types of insurance products available in the market. As the cost of claims

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increases, insurance companies may need to develop new products or adjust existing products to ensure they are financially viable.

Inflation can have a significant impact on insurance. It can increase the cost of claims, premiums, and impact the coverage limits of insurance policies.

Additionally, inflation can impact the investment returns of insurance companies, which can impact their ability to pay out claims.

It’s important for policyholders to regularly review their insurance policies and ensure they have sufficient coverage to protect against inflation during times like these. Reach out to us at Flour City Insurance Agency to talk about your options! Call or text us 585-861-2002 Best Regards, Angel Bunce Owner Flour City Insurance Agency 1260 Scottsville Rd Suite 202A Rochester NY 14624 585-861-2002 Office 585-851-1553 Cell 585-486-6219 Fax Flourcityinsuranceagency.com

{ YOUR INSURANCE ANGEL }

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MUCK DUCK

STUDIOS Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background and how Muck Duck Studio came about. What did you do before opening the studio?

My name is Miss Casey and I am the Founder and Creative Director of Muck Duck Studio. I am a creative woman with a wide variety of skills ranging from performance art, painting, human rights activism, non-profiteering, and outdoor adventuring.

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QUEEN OFHOME ARTS } } { {WELCOME

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Fierce- Everything I do is heartfelt and laced with a powerful intensity, I cannot apologize for my passions.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

My very versatile life experience has led me to be a versatile business woman. My main mission is to reach our community in empowering waysto hear your stories through art and celebration. That is why we now have Muck Duck Studio, a creative empowerment studio.

What is the mission behind your creative collective?

Our community empowerment space relies on 5 major creative modalities; Music, Art, Yoga/ Somatics, Environmentalism and Non-Profiteering. Why do we do this? To reach and empower folks to rebuild a relationship with their own creativity. Creativity is a powerful problem solving tool that can support any situation.

What made you decide to open the studio?

It was a beautiful synergy between me and my circumstances. In 2019 I was working/living in Bangkok, Thailand pursuing refugee crisis management and foreign relief aid.

After realizing the refugee crisis on the southern border I relocated to Washington D.C as a human rights activist on behalf of detained unaccompanied minors. I was beginning to work closely with the children and the federal courts when our connections were severed due to the pandemic. I chose to come home to Rochester and pour love into our city. After seeing the world

I knew something needed to change.

Muck Duck Studio is the conduit for contemporary community solutions.

How do you stay motivated, especially in such a crazy time in the world?

When I think about all the situations out of my control and out of my hands- I am intensely motivated to cherish what is in my sphere of influence. There were people I have met in the crazy world who have touched my internal world and changed me forever. For me, life is about relationships. When the

to me as a female entrepreneur to be approached and treated respectfully.

Also, I am aiming to connect with art funders who want to see the progression of our work in the community expedited.

What are the three most important words that you feel describe you and why?

Compassionate- My natural temperament is patient with hints of nurturing and care, I am to leave people in better shape than I found them.

Fierce- Everything I do is heartfelt and laced with a powerful intensity, I cannot apologize for my passions.

community depends on me, I show up. When I am called to service I respond. It is really simple for me.

What are some of the challenges you face regarding the studio and also being a female entrepreneur and how have you overcome them?

Seeing the world through the lens of entrepreneurship and artistry is a beautiful intersect and it certainly presents challenges. For instance, some people confuse creative passion with romantic love. It is very important

Intuitive- I live life in the moment, based on what feels to be true without a need to be assured by conscious reasoning. This allows me to be fluid in my workflow.

What is your favorite part about the studio and collective?

The many beautiful faces I am privileged to call my community.

When people return to the studio and deepen their relationship with us, the real magic emerges. Cross Pollination happens when two or more artists come together and share ideas and collaborate. I am honored to be at the epicenter of many of Rochester’s finest artists and musicians

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{ QUEEN OF ARTS }} { WELCOME HOME “It’s okay to expect the unexpected. In many ways I believe we are told to have all the answers at the beginning.”

and beyond. I get to see the magic of creation happen in real time.

What advice would you give to someone just starting their own business?

It’s okay to expect the unexpected.

In many ways I believe we are told to have all the answers at the beginning.

I say, leave room for magic. Solutions to problems we didn’t expect often come easily when you trust the process. We absolutely can fill in the gaps as we progress along.

it, giving 100% of profits to nonprofit causes. I have raised over $13,000 to organizations such as 13ThirtyConnect, Person Centered Housing Options, Gillum Grant Foundation and many others.

Knowing I make a difference leaves me feeling fulfilled.

Digital marketing is the hardest part.

4- (because) “Failure is never the end.”

What do you enjoy most about what you do? What do you find the hardest part about it?

My favorite part is using my performance art skills at galas and fundraisers. I will create a painting live during an event and auction

We also very practically use instagram, facebook, email and meetup. All @MuckDuckStudio What do you want to achieve next?

Muck Duck has been able to function fully through its own support- we are able to pay musicians, artists, facilitators and coaches to implement their work. We are aiming to become a 501(c)(3). We will reach and accomplish far more of our objectives with financial support from the community.

What is the best advice/ information you have ever been given?

The best wisdom is often simple.

1- “Hold the Gold”- Don’t ruin a good thing by going too quickly.

2- “When in doubt, don’t”- This one speaks for itself.

3- “Know the play, take the shot.”- Set up a goal and take a shot at it. Once the shot is taken my job is done. It no longer matters if I make the shot or not.

My favorite method is word of mouth.

We are building a relationship with you from the beginning. You hear about us from people you know, hearing about things you enjoy or may be interested in. You come to us with a sense of curiosity and willingness to try something new, and together we make creative magic.

I don’t like how I’m stuck to a screen instead of making art/focusing on people.

Do you use social media to promote your business? What is your favorite platform? If not, how do you get out there to gain attention for the studio?

Where do you see your business in the next three to five years?

In the next 3-5 years Muck Duck Studio aims to have 5 fully synergistic relationships with other non-profit organizations in Rochester, NY. We aim to bring alternative social-emotional programming to local community centers, rehabs, senior centers and schools to help rebuild connection between community members. We aim to implement 50 monthly programs and pay $20,000 a year to different artists, musicians, environmentalists and yogis for their hard work. We

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{ QUEEN OF ARTS }

“My favorite method is word of mouth. We are building a relationship with you from the beginning.” also aim to establish a relationship with national spaces like ours and offer “excursion exchanges” as they send touring artists and musicians to us and we to them. Stay in touch as we make our way there.

Where will we see Muck Duck Studio and Casey Maura next?

I will be performing again this summer 214

at events such as jazz fest, lilac festival, corn hill arts fest, lincoln hill farms, innovation theater and beyond. My next big show is on March 11 at 3pm with Cinnamon Jones at her show Lady of Song. Muck Duck Studio has many plans for community engagement through the arts this summer- including a music event with Sobriety Sounds. You can also see

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us in person, located at 595 Blossom Road, #317, Rochester, NY 14610.

Come to our Creative Mixers held every other Tuesday at Muck Duck!

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TIMBER’S JOURNEY

BY HANNAH MCGOFF

“The story of Timber is one of wandering, hope, and eventually a happy ending.”

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{ THE ANIMAL CARE CORNER } “Being a dog that doesn’t do well in a shelter, it can be hard to show potential adopters what a great fit you could be to their home! ”

The story of Timber is one of wandering, hope, and eventually a happy ending. Timber was found roaming the hot, dry streets of Austin, Texas when he was a few years old, presumed to have been abandoned.

An incredible passerby brought him to the Austin Animal Center where he was greeted by many amazing people and formed a close bond with a volunteer. Many dogs struggle to adapt to shelter life and Timber was no exception. The volunteer he bonded with cared extra for him, and would bring him home some nights just to escape the stress of the shelter. Unfortunately, due to her living arrangements, adopting Timber was just not going to be a possibility so they settled for walks and lots of play dates.

Te x a s s h e l t e r s are extremely overpopulated and unfortunately, highly adoptable dogs end up being euthanized. Many southern shelters reach out to shelters up north to help by taking in some of their animals. Animal Care Sanctuary is lucky to have such a great relationship with Austin Animal Center and eventually, Timber was selected as one of the many dogs to be transported to us to find a potential adopter! The ACS

team loved him and immediately got to work on helping Timber become the best dog he could be.

Being a dog that doesn’t do well in a shelter, it can be hard to show potential adopters what a great fit you could be to their home! Eventually, an adopter came along and was so

excited to bring Timber home and give him the best life possible. As he tried to adjust to his new life, he became easily overwhelmed by other dogs that would visit his new family and began picking up bad habits. His new family worked with trainers day and night to try to help him adapt, but eventually realized that he was

not going to be happy in this new environment.

When Timber came back to ACS, his behavior let us know that he was stressed, confused, and overwhelmed.

He was jumping, barking, and not being friendly to potential adopters as he didn’t know how to express his feelings. We were worried about Timber and continued to try to make his life as best as we could while living in the shelter, but knew he needed a caring loving home to thrive in.

One day, ACS received a call from a couple in California looking for more information on Timber. They were the parents of the volunteer that bonded so well with Timber back at the Austin Animal Center in Texas! Timber’s new family met him four hours away from ACS in New Jersey, and boarded the plane back to California, where he will spend the rest of his life in his forever home! He is finally where he belongs, with a family who has nothing but great things to say about him.

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{ THE ANIMAL CARE CORNER } “The ACS team loved him and immediately got to work on helping Timber become the best dog he could be.”

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{ WORKING WITH PASSION }

USING PASSION TO FUEL YOUR BUSINESS

BY KAREN PUTZ

Whether you’re in your first year of business or your 20th, there’s one thing that can fuel your business: Passion.

This often-misunderstood energy is usually associated with a love of a specific activity or hobby-turnedinto-a-job.

Passion is frequently described as the “fire in the belly” or “something that you love to do.”

As a life coach who specializes in helping people tap into the energy of passion, I steer people away from the idea of “figuring out what to do with life” and instead, teach them how to unwrap the gift of passion from within.

In the process of writing my book, Unwrapping Your Passion, Creating the Life You Truly Want, I interviewed over 200 people about the topic of passion. The best definition of passion, from Jackie St. Onge, turned out to be the simplest: “Passion is your joy. It is the essence of who you are. Passion is like water– turn on the tap and it flows.”

We can easily recognize joy in our lives.

It may be a bit harder to recognize it in our business, especially when we feel like things are out of our control or when we face barriers or challenges.

There are so many parts to a business that it can be difficult to connect joy to endless tasks like updating a CRM or continual sales calls.

“I feel like I have to keep my business and my hobbies separate,” an entrepreneur friend told me.

I’m not really passionate about my business, but it brings in the money for the hobbies I’m passionate about.”

In the process of working with my entrepreneurial friend, we identified her top five areas of life in which she was living with passion. My friend began to incorporate the joy from her hobbies into her business. She posted pictures with her horse and wove in afternoons with her children at swim lessons. Her sales began to slowly increase and within eight months, she had doubled her clients.

She also found herself enjoying her business even more. Her passion was contagious and her clients were attracted to her new level of energy.

Passion is an energy that you can incorporate into all areas of your life.

Passion is not a “career path that you pick,” or “a hobby that you enjoy”; it’s actually a way of living life. When you approach passion in this manner, you can then bring this vibrant energy into your daily routine.

Here are some ways you can fuel your business with passion:

3. Make space for FUN in your business. Do something different, shake up a routine, try something new.

4. Incorporate the practice of gratitude into your business by focusing on what is going well.

5. Create a Passion Quest around your business–anything from mini-challenges to larger-than-life experiences. A Passion Quest has a beginning and an end–and can be measured or documented.

6. Bring your personal passion and joy INTO your business–let your customers and clients see the passionate side of you.

People are naturally attracted to people who are doing business with passion and care–versus a business that is going through the motions and cuts corners. Infuse passion into your business and watch the changes that happen!

Karen Putz is known as “The Passion Mentor.” She helps midlifers create more joy, adventure, and fun so they can enjoy the second half of life. Grab the 22 Lessons to Live YOUR Passion at www.yourpassionschool.com.

1. Identify the parts of your business that you ENJOY. Amplify those parts of your business in your daily routine.

2. Delegate or release the parts of your business that bring the least joyful rate of return on your time or your profit line.

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{{ WORKING PASSION { HEALTHYWITH HIGHWAY } }} WORKING WITH PASSION “Passion is an energy that you can incorporate into all areas of your life. Passion is not a “career path that you pick,” or “a hobby that you enjoy”; it’s actually a way of living life.’

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yourpassionschool.com

SHIFT+CONTROL {{WOMAN TO KNOW} } “Hustle is a positive word to me. Some people like to say you shouldn’t still be hustling when you’re in your career, but I disagree.”

Tell us a little bit about Rayna Brooks.

Where did you grow up? Where did you go to school? What type of education do you have?

I’m born and raised in Rochester, NY. I attended public school all my life and graduated from Wilson Magnet High school in 2005. After leaving school I wanted to be a juvenile probation officer to help out troubled youth, but that quickly changed. I went to MCC for a year, then I started working corporate jobs. The last company I worked for was Rochester Gas and Electric. I left the company after 5 years and moved to Charlotte, North Carolina only to move back to Rochester after 90 Days.

When I came back it was now or never and that’s when I enrolled at the Continental School of Beauty to pursue my esthetics license. I also attended Shear Ego for my waxing license.

What made you decide to start a mobile spa for your business?

When I attended Continental School Of Beauty I noticed at the job fairs that minority women were only getting jobs at Sephora and Ulta. We did not meet the “standard look” of the big-name spas so we were slighted in my opinion.

One day I was sitting at home relaxing and God gave me the vision to start a Mobile Spa. I wrote down my plans consulted with my teachers on what I needed and I started my business while still attending continental in 2013.

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What does the word “hustle” mean to you?

Hustle is a positive word to me some people like to say you shouldn’t still be hustling when you’re in your career but I disagree. The art of hustling is what got you into the position that you are in today. The same hunger you have for your business in the first 10 years is the same hunger you should have in 20 years. Yes, your position should change, your finances should increase and you may have placed

certain people in different positions so that your business can perform on a higher level. But that hunger for more will never leave you. It has to be in you, not on you.

Who are some of the people that helped inspire you, especially in your business journey?

My household was a big inspiration to me. I knew when it was 5 am because

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my dad’s teapot would go off and I knew shortly after that he was out the door to run his own business. My dad owns a company called Brooks Brothers Painting he has been in business for 30 years. I watched him never stop working until he got his business to where it is today. My mother worked for the county and still does lol but even though she was a 9-5 woman she always worked two jobs on top of handling my father’s official duties for his business. So basically my mom worked three jobs and raised a family. I didn’t need to look outside for work ethic because it was in my face every day. The fact that they didn’t give me rides to work when I was a teenager made me get on the bus which built up a different beast and independence in me because they made it clear it was MY JOB so it was MY responsibility to get to and from work. Some may think that’s harsh but teaching your children work ethic early will follow them for the rest of their lives.

Did you always want to be an entrepreneur? What did you do before opening the mobile spa?

Being an entrepreneur was always in the back of my mind, but not always the ultimate goal. Coming from high school I wanted to be a juvenile probation officer because I was a little troubled coming up so I wanted to be that relatable probation officer that truly helped them get on the right track because I know what it feels like to have to beat the odds. I then

RAYNA BROOKS PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER “GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL “The same hunger you have for your

business in the first 10 years is the same hunger you should have in 20 years.”

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{ HEIDI’S } }} SHIFT+CONTROL {{ WOMAN TOLAW KNOW “Being an entrepreneur was always in the back of my mind but not always the ultimate goal.”

transitioned into curating events in the city of Rochester for a few years. That was an exciting time in my life I got to Build a lot of long-lasting relationships.

That life faded and now we are here.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.

My Goal personally is to create generational wealth for my children. To not give them the easy way out but show them what hard work looks like while preparing them to be in the position of success. To continue to be a positive role model in their lives and show them what resilience looks like. Professionally I want to continue to create opportunities for estheticians in my business.

Showing them a life of esthetics they have never expected. I also want to take on more speaking events geared towards young adults and men and women evolving and business. I teach them about the growing pains but also show them how to not make The same mistakes that I have made.

How long did it take for you from start to finish to launch the Mobile Spa? It took 30 Days to Launch the ideas once I thought of it I received my refund check from school And purchased all My equipment and products. .

If you could do one thing you have never done, what would it be and why?

Lol, I’m petrified of skydiving but I want to do it I feel like it would be so freeing.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

You don’t have to stop to celebrate every small win keep going and focus on the big wins. When you get caught up on small accomplishments you can become Stagnant keep going you know your ultimate goal so don’t celebrate until

has to work that gave me a new taste for life. It’s played out very well for me my grind is different being a mom.

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting?

The first thing I would have done was secured my trademark for my brand.

I have it now and I’m grateful it went through. But I definitely would have secured my brand from the beginning.

What are the 3 must-have items for a mobile spa?

The 3 Must haves are products, a massage table, towel cabbie.

Why a mobile spa instead of a brick-and-mortar location?

The great thing about The Mobile Spa is not only can we provide the ultimate spa experience in your home office or private location we have two Spa suites located at 200 Buell Rd Suite B9 & 20 D Rochester, NY 14624.

you get there.

What’s the most important risk you’ve ever taken? How did it play out for you?

The most important risk was not getting a job after having a baby and truly focusing on my business and going through the struggle knowing that this

What are your plans for the next few years ahead? Where will we see you next?

My plan for the next few years is to prepare The Mobile Spa to be a Globally Known company.

Being able to hire more estheticians and show them the true ins and outs of the business all while building up not only their skills but their confidence to do and be whoever they want to be.

REMEMBER THIS NAME THE MOBILE SPA ® you will be seeing it a lot

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { MIND, BODY & SPIRIT} } “My plan for the next few years is to prepare The Mobile Spa to be a globally known company.”

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TIPS

&

TRICKS

BY HOLLY PEARSON

With the new year upon us and everyone trying to get their calendar filled, I have been asked many times how to find the best vendor shows. Well, there is no real science to vending but there are always little tricks you pick up along the way. I will share with you all of the personal tips and tricks I have picked up along the way.

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{ HOLLY-WOOD CREATIONS } “Well, there is no real science to vending but there are always little tricks you pick up along the way. I will share with you all of the personal tips and tricks I have picked up along the way.”

Starting out you will end up in smaller shows with less desirable foot traffic.

These are not the worst outcomes.

With being new you can use these shows to network with the vendors.

Some of them will have very valuable information. Such as other shows with better turnouts, names of vendors who can get you in touch with product discounts, and more information.

Always talk to your neighbors and mingle if it is a slower show.

I have met so many amazing people and business contacts in slow shows that I keep in contact with. This will help you through your entire business. Lastly, make sure you keep a calendar of your events so you have a record of which ones you will or will not do again.

When booking an event do not be afraid of asking questions. If it is not stated in the invitation or the posting always find out last year’s turnout numbers. This will help you decide if their fee is worth your money. If it is a new event, then think about the area it is in. Is this a high-traffic venue? Will people be able to find this place? Is this going to be advertised? Advertising is a huge part and Facebook is not the only place an event should be in to get the best turnout. So, the best thing to remember is you are your best advocate, always speak up and ask questions.

There will be times in shows when

coordinators will book vendors with the same medium not realizing some of their items are the same. If you happen to get placed by these vendors, ask to get moved. A good coordinator will move you with no problem.

Then it is a personal choice to sell the said item or take it off your shelf. I usually keep mine on the shelf with the knowledge that it will not make normal sales. This is a common thing

price of what it cost to make then double it. Now, this gets tricky when you are getting into larger things. If the price seems way more than you would ever pay for the item, then think less. I never go less than 35% mark up though. Then that craft is not worth my time. If I must go less than that I must rethink the items I am using to make it and go to the thinking board again. As far as stock goes this all depends on variables. If you have been to this even the year, prior take what your sales were the year prior plus 15% more. This will count for an influx in foot traffic but not leave you carrying an overabundance of overstock. If you have not been to think even prior consider the area it is in, the prior years’ attendance (if there was any), the advertising, along with how many days the event is. Then try and figure out a workable number for you to start with making and being able to transport. You should be able to come up with your best stock numbers once you consider all your variables.

because we all love crafting and things overlap. It shouldn’t be a huge issue.

Encourage each other and admire each other’s work.

I hope my tips and tricks help you with your upcoming vending year. Let’s all have the best shows, festivals, and conventions to date. I look forward to seeing you all out there!

My final tip is on stock and pricing.

These are probably my number 1 and 2 questions. Pricing is a little different for each kind of craft. I always tell people to never forget to charge for their time as well. I always take the

For more information contact Holly at info@ hollywooddecorativecreationsboutique. com

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{ RETHINKING OUR THOUGHTS }

FINANCIALLY PLANNING

BY TERESA GALBIER

During this tax season, it is crucial that individuals and families take stock of their financial plans to help prepare for an unexpected disruption, such as caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia.

One in nine Americans 65 and older are living with Alzheimer’s disease – that’s more than 6 million Americans nationwide and more than 410,000 in New York state alone. The disease not only takes a tremendous physical toll on diagnosed individuals, but the costs associated with the disease can be overwhelming, putting economical strain on families.

Disease-related expenses can jeopardize a family’s financial security, and many loved ones make enormous personal and financial sacrifices as a result. The 2022 Alzheimer’s Association Facts and Figures report found that: ● In 2021, the lifetime cost of care for a person living with dementia was nearly $378,000. ● Average out-of-pocket costs for healthcare and long-term care services not covered by Medicare, Medicaid and private insurance is nearly $10,000 annually for people living with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias.

● Nearly half (48 percent) of care contributors must cut back on their own expenses – including basic necessities like food, transportation and medical care – to afford dementiarelated care, while others must draw from their own savings or retirement funds.

finances, both for the caregiver and the person with the disease.

● Nearly two-thirds of people incorrectly believe that Medicare

● Avoid financial abuse and fraud.

Individuals living with dementia have a greater risk of becoming victims and may struggle with making good financial decisions.

helps pay for nursing home care, or are unsure whether it does.

To help families navigate these and other financial challenges, the Alzheimer’s Association recently launched a free online education program, Managing Money: A Caregiver’s Guide to Finances. Tips from the program include: ● Plan early. There are many benefits of planning early when it comes to

● Start a positive discussion about finances. Bring in trusted family members or close friends for a discussion about what the person with the disease wants for the future.

● Organize your finances. Conduct an inventory of your financial resources including savings, insurance, retirement benefits, government a s s i s t a n c e , VA benefits and more. A financial planner or elder care attorney can help with this. ● Create a backup plan. Designate a trusted backup agent for the individual’s power of attorney and consider designating responsibilities to more than one person.

Loved ones sometimes experience financial problems because they have to reduce their work hours or take time off to care for a loved one with dementia. As the disease progresses, caregivers may need to pay for services

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{ RETHINKING OUR THOUGHTS } “One in nine Americans 65 and older are living with Alzheimer’s disease – that’s more than 6 million Americans nationwide and more than 410,000 in New York state alone.”

or support for the person living with Alzheimer’s. Financial literacy is especially important for caregivers because it provides them with the knowledge and skills needed to better support themselves and others.

We encourage caregiving families to seek professional advice from a financial professional as there may be some benefits that can help. In addition the Alzheimer’s Association offers a 244

number of educational programs with more tips for caregivers. Visit alz.org/rochesterny/helping_you/ education/educational-programs for a complete list of free programs in the nine-county Rochester Finger Lakes region.

About the Alzheimer’s Association The Alzheimer’s Association is a worldwide voluntary health

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organization dedicated to Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Our mission is to lead the way to end Alzheimer’s and all other dementia — by accelerating global research, driving risk reduction and early detection, and maximizing quality care and support. Our vision is a world without Alzheimer’s and all other dementia®. Visit alz.org or call 800.272.3900.

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LESSON #7

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Don’t be excessively modest.

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{ LESSONS FROM A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Something I struggled with for years was the ability to accept compliments.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS

BY NSP PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO

BY DEVAN ROBINSON PHOTO

BY NICOLE LOCKHART

I would get embarrassed and start to act a little awkward about it. I felt unsure how to respond. When someone would tell me that I did a good job I would end up saying things like: “Oh, it was nothing.”

“I’m just lucky.”

“Anyone could have done it.”

“I still have so much to learn.”

“I’m just doing my best.”

“Oh, it wasn’t all me.”

Phrases like these may seem like the right thing to say, but in all honesty these phrases are a subtle way of talking ourselves down. I was basically brushing off the compliments. Words are so powerful, yet instead of taking power from the compliments I was tearing myself down with them. I was focused on how I could have done better or what I messed up on, rather than accepting all the hard work I had accomplished.

We were not born with the desire to be excessively modest, but we have been socially conditioned to do this.

We’ve been conditioned to be modest, humble, and quiet about how awesome we are. But, that’s what I want you to stop doing. Instead I want you to truly value yourself for what and who you are. I want you to break out of being excessively modest. I want you to strengthen the value you have in yourself. I want you to switch up these phrases. Rather than trying to brush off the compliments, accept them and say “thank you”. Don’t be afraid to be amazing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Accept these compliments so you can acknowledge

your strengths and accomplishments.

When we are excessively modest, we are undervaluing ourselves. When we don’t accept compliments by brushing them off, we are belittling ourselves.

We are dismissing our good qualities and focusing on our imperfections instead. We are not fully showing up as who we actually are. It’s a form of self-sabotage that we may not even realize we are doing. I also think it is important to recognize that when we immediately deflect a compliment from someone it could also come across as if we don’t trust their opinion or that we are dismissing them. So not only are we hurting ourselves, but we are also potentially hurting our relationships with those around us.

Being excessively modest affects our self-esteem, self- confidence, and self-worth. When you constantly downplay your achievements, you are then not giving yourself enough credit. This then leaks into our minds and develops feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. This self-doubt will then hold you back from pursuing new opportunities and reaching for your goals. It will keep you from stepping into your power.

I want you to live on the plain of existence where you know without a doubt that you are valuable for just existing. When you value yourself and acknowledge your strengths it will boost your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. You will see your personal and professional life impacted in a positive way. You will find that it is easier to take on new challenges

and you will see more opportunities appear for you.

I know that I am making it sound like a simple switch, but I do understand that this takes time. And I want you to know that also. I want to make sure you are kind to yourself as you make this adjustment. Practice patience and self-compassion as you work on switching up your mindset around compliments. And if you need some help through this process, I got your back! Join us inside the BABB Tribe to have access to me on speed dial.

Let me help you fully believe that you are valuable for just existing.

Let’s stop this cycle of excessive modesty and instead kick down this social conditioning and break these glass ceilings.

Warmly, Devan About the Author Devan Robinson is the author of “What’s Your Worth? And I Don’t Mean Money.”, motivational speaker, and founder of the Be A Bold Ass Bitch Tribe. She helps women gain confidence and understand their strengths so they can reach their goals without guilt, shame, or fear. When she isn’t working on changing the world, you can usually find her hanging out with her human and fur babies, spending time with her husband, or watching Netflix. If you are interested in learning more about her, check out her website www.developingwithdevan.com.

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“When you VALUE

yourself and acknowledge your strengths it will boost your sELF-ESTEEM, self-confidence, and selfworth. You will see your personal and professional life impacted in a POSITIVE WAY.

”

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SOUND BATHS The Healing Nature of Singing Bowls

Imagine lying down on a yoga mat in your favorite, and everyone’s favorite pose shivasana. Your eyes are closed. You’ve been guided in a beautiful meditation and feel so peaceful and relaxed. Now all you need to do is receive the healing vibrations of singing bowls.

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{ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT } “The healing affects of singing bowls have been used for centuries. Their origins are from Asia. Their most profound history is found in the Himalayas, Tibet and Nepal.”

As the bowls are played you feel the vibrations moving through your body, your mind, and spirit clearing away the old, making way for the new. You fall into a deeper meditation perhaps even a trance. Memories may arise both joyful and sad. As you release these you enter into a blissful state.

As the session comes to a close, you come back to this earth plane feeling refreshed and ready to embrace your life! Ready to take on challenges, and pursuit passions.

tool for alternative healers like myself, music therapists and yoga practitioners.

They help clients to relax and focus on what’s truly important in their lives.

They’re known to have a cleansing affect hence ‘bath’ by clearing out unnecessary thoughts, emotions and or beliefs.

What are they?

There are two different types of singing bowls: Tibetan metal bowls and Crystal bowls.

You have just experienced a sound bath.

Tibetan Singing Bowls

The healing affects of singing bowls have been used for centuries. Their origins are from Asia. Their most profound history is found in the Himalayas, Tibet and Nepal.

The original Tibetan singing bowls were made with a combination of the seven sacred metals. Each metal represents a heavenly body or planet. Today these bowls are typically made of brass and copper which are lighter and more economical to produce.

When combined with sacred Mantras and chanting, transformational healing increases. Some references suggest that, “Tibetan lamas and monks used these bowls for sacred rituals … that … were so spiritual in nature that it gave them the ability to astral project and travel into other realms and dimensions.”

Cool.

It’s important to note that in any meditation of transcendence, coming back to earth and being grounded into your physical nature is of utmost importance. After all, we are here to shift ourselves, each other and the planet into a harmonious vibration of existence.

Therefore, we need to be fully present!

Singing bowls have become a popular

7 Sacred Metals Gold ~ Sun Silver ~ Moon Mercury ~ Mercury Copper ~ Venus Iron ~ Mars Tin ~ Jupiter Lead ~ Saturn

mats. The vibrations from the bowls penetrate the chakras and meridians of the person receiving the healing treatment resulting in energy balancing.

An individual can use them for self healing by placing one on the palm of your hand and striking it with a mallet, then circling the rim of the bowl. This creates the singing sound and healing vibrations.

You can try it for yourself. Hold the bowl in front of each of your energy centers or chakras and practice with a gentle strike followed by circling the outer rim.

Crystal Singing Bowls My friend Irene Ingalls introduced me to the crystal version of singing bowls around 10 years ago. She opened one of the first Sound Bath establishments in the US called Seattle Sound Temple located in Washington State.

Crystal bowls offer an alternative way of creating sound vibrations similar to metal bowls. And - they’re aligned with the musical octave which is associated with the 7 main chakras.

If you are familiar with the chakra system you may be wondering if these are linked to the seven main chakras.

The answer is no, however the sound value of singing bowls are, especially in crystal bowls as we’ll discuss later.

When I trained as a sound healer under Angela Amato, we used Tibetan Singing Bowls. These are to be strategically placed around a person as they recline on their

Chakras & Musical Notes G. Root Chakra A. Sacral Chakra B. Solar Plexus C. Heart Chakra D. Throat Chakra E. Third Eye F. Crown Chakra They are usually made up of rose quartz, clear quartz and/or amethyst which are

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { MIND, BODY & SPIRIT} } “Singing bowls have become a popular tool for alternative healers like myself, music therapists and yoga practitioners. They help clients to relax and focus on what’s truly important in their lives.”

all the most abundant crystals found in the earth. These singing bowls are typically larger and heavier than Tibetan metal singing bowls but they have the ability to be more closely in tune with the 7 notes of the musical octave.

My colleagues and I have been exploring the healing vibrations of not only singing bowls but of other sound healing tools like the crystal pyramid and tuning forks. We will be offering an evening of healing at the Penfield Arts Center on Thursday, March 9th.

The Music for Meditation and Yoga group that I am a part of includes crystal singing bowls as well as chanting. We have performed at the Assisi Institute and the Eastman Theatre with future dates to come.

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Benefits of Sound Bath • Obtain Relaxation • Lower Blood Pressure • Focus the Mind • Instill Inner Peace • Stress Relief • Strengthen Immune System With their calming and meditative qualities, singing bowls allow you to let go and relax. I welcome you to enter into this unique healing environment and experience a sound bath.

EVENT! Please join us!

Yoga & Meditative Healing with Sound Bath Thursday, March 9 6:00 - 7:30 PM Penfield Arts Center 2011 Five Mile Line Rd

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Donation: $5-35 Alana Cahoon is joined by Lisa Gates and Sharon Bader Easton in this unique combination of yoga, meditation and energy healing where you will gain access to your own natural healing abilities.

The session opens with yoga asanas (postures) to open the channels of flow in your body. You will be led in a guided meditation to balance and fortify your immune system energetically. It closes with a unique Sound Bath where you can submerge yourself to completely relax and let go.

Alana Cahoon is a mindfulness coach and founder of Grow 2 B U,LLC and Being In Balance Academy. www.

AlanaCahoon.com

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{ WELLNESS 360 } } { SHIFT+CONTROL

EXERCISE CONSIDERATIONS FOR MS

BY BETH PARRY

AFTER YOUR MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS DIAGNOSIS March is Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Awareness Month. What better time to discuss the many benefits of exercise.

MS is a disease affecting the central nervous system. The body attacks the myelin sheath around the nerves causing inflammation and reduced nerve conduction. This can cause fatigue, muscle weakness, and tingling in the arms and legs. We know that exercise can provide a wide range of benefits for people of all ages and all diagnoses, from improving your brain health to weight management, reducing your risk of cardiovascular disease, and even more.

However, if you have been diagnosed with MS, the thought of exercise may cause more anxiety than anything else. There are many myths about exercising with MS: Including “I can’t do anything to slow the progression of MS.” and “Exercise is harmful to MS.” If you have fallen trap to these myths, you may be missing out on the great benefits that regular exercise provides for MS. While the generalized movement is great, there are some modifications you will want to adopt to make exercise beneficial, and not uncomfortable.

Let’s discuss the benefits of exercise for people with an MS diagnosis

and exercise considerations to help you exercise safely and in the most beneficial way.

Why is exercise important for those with MS? Studies have shown that regular exercise can assist with the management of common MS symptoms, including weakness, fatigue, bowel and bladder function, cognitive function, and poor

coordination. Additionally, increased weight can increase these symptoms, and regular exercise can assist in weight management. Fatigue is a general symptom of MS; exercise can also help decrease fatigue symptoms and improve mobility, mood, and sleep.

What kind of exercise is best for MS? Exercise recommendations for MS patients are at least 30 minutes of physical activity three days a week.

Beyond that, any type of exercise that you enjoy can be beneficial!

The CDC recommends a mix of aerobic exercise and strength training not just for MS patients but the general population to maintain both cardiovascular and muscular, and bone health.

Safety Considerations for exercise with MS It is now well documented that exercise DOES NOT cause MS exacerbations.

However, participating in an exercise that is too aggressive may bring on short-term worsening of pre-existing symptoms.

This has been determined to be due to the increase in body temperature, which can be addressed using cooling garments, fans and staying hydrated before, during, and after exercising. So how do you know how much exercise is too much?

If it takes longer than 2 hours after exercise to return to baseline, this may be a sign of to decrease in either the intensity or duration of the exercise.

Tips for a successful workout: ● Stay hydrated ● Cold water can help keep your body temperature low and decrease fatigue following exercise. ● Exercise in a cool environment ● Exercising in a warm environment

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{{ SHE SHE HUSTLES TALKS A SHIFT+CONTROL HUSTLES IMAGE TALKS { BLISSFUL WELLNESS 360 } }}}} “There is no cookie-cutter regime for those with an MS diagnosis. If you are unsure how to start an exercise program, we suggest talking to a physical therapist that specializes in working with the MS diagnosis.”

will further increase body temperature already elevated by exercise, causing a greater likelihood of symptom increase following activity. If you exercise outdoors, try to exercise at cooler times of the day, either early or late in the day.

exercise routine. Moderate-intensity exercise of at least 30 minutes 3 times a week is recommended to improve the quality of life in MS patients. As we have stated before, the intensity, duration, and type of exercise will vary from person to person.

● Do not live by “no pain, no gain.” ● This should not be your mantra.

To learn more about Wellness 360, visit our website at www. wellness360fitness.com.

As discussed, if an activity is too aggressive, this can be counterproductive.

Everyone’s limits will vary from person to person.

Your limits will also vary day to day, depending on your sleep, nutrition, and activity levels. It is essential to listen to your body. ● Prioritize safety ● Just because the man or woman next to you is lifting 100 pounds or running at seven mph doesn’t mean you have to. Everyone is at different levels and places in their fitness journey. Do what is right and feels good for your body.

Exercise can have many benefits, from improved cardiovascular fitness and strength to improved mood and decreased fatigue. A diagnosis of MS should not deter you from starting an 262

with the necessary modifications!

Wellness 360 Physical Therapy and Massage specializes in neuro rehab and can help you start your fitness journey. With multiple programs, including 1-on-1 sessions, group classes, and an online Wellness on Demand platform, we have multiple tools to help you reach your fitness goals.

There is no cookie-cutter regime for those with an MS diagnosis. If you are unsure how to start an exercise program, we suggest talking to a physical therapist that specializes in working with the MS diagnosis.

A physical therapist can guide you on an exercise routine, considering your goals and your diagnosis. We can design a workout specific to you

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YOGA

THERAPY

BY KAITLYN VITOZZI

Exercises for Better Sleep I am not a sleep specialist, but a Yoga Therapist. Much of what I am going to share in this article comes from the ancient wisdom of Ayurveda and Yoga.

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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL LIFE IN BALANCE } “Traditional ancient wisdom might say that the only yoga posture you should do before bed is savasana, or corpse pose where you lie flat on your back.”

That being said, I have also tried to account for the very busy corporate lifestyles that many of you are living in the northeast, which likely looks different than ancient India, but we can absolutely use it today, combined with neuroscience, to make a shift toward healthier habits.

Get Scheduled: This probably isn’t what you want to hear but a good night’s sleep really begins that morning. Try to get yourself in the habit of waking up and going to bed at the same time every day. Even on weekends! Ideally you are waking up at 6 AM or before and going to bed at or before 10 PM. I know, after putting in 40+ hours of work and a morning rolls around where you don’t have to get up early, it is so tempting to lounge in bed, but get the covers off and greet the sun. Imagine how much more smoothly mornings would go if you had an hour to yourself before the day started. Conversely, if we have worked all day it might feel like we want to treat ourselves with a few glasses of wine before bed to help ourselves fall asleep, but this can negatively impact our sleep so that it feels less restful. Also make sure you are getting some physical activity in during the day.

Setup Your Space: Setup your bedroom exclusively for sleep and sex. It doesn’t need a tv, exercise bike, board games or your work laptop.

Consider diffusing some essential oils, and if you do have a hard time getting a good night’s sleep have a thick blanket nearby that you can rest

on your pelvis for some additional comforting weight. Ware consuming so much through our senses every day – news, flavors, sounds, other people’s emotions. Aim to let your senses rest in your bedroom. You also don’t need any additional negativity before bed so if you find yourself scrolling news headlines or social media when you could be catching some z’s in the evening, buy yourself an alarm clock and leave that phone plugged in in another room.

Stop the Thoughts: While I know many of the people reading this could easily just black out from exhaustion when their heads hit the pillow, where I feel yoga is most impactful on sleep hygiene is really letting you brain move away from busy into present moment. What keeps many people in the United States from sleeping is an influx of thoughts: not just worried mind but also thoughts of what else has to get done the next day or what didn’t get done today.

As I tell clients, trying to go from fully awake to sleep doesn’t always work. You need a gray area to prepare yourself for sleep.

I like to use the concept of the brain waves to explain this. We have busy Beta brainwaves, that we use to problem solve. We don’t need those to sleep but we live there most of the day. Alpha waves are more relaxed.

Theta waves are extremely relaxed or light sleep. Delta are the slowest brainwaves which is where deep sleep happens, and ultimately where we want to be at night. Going from Beta

to Delta doesn’t work. Some of the limbs of yoga - postures, breathwork and meditation - let you achieve those relaxed brainwaves in between to literally let yourself unwind.

Traditional ancient wisdom might say that the only yoga posture you should do before bed is savasana, or corpse pose where you lie flat on your back. Maybe you will get there eventually. I am going to make a few more recommendations to help you slowly back away from those Beta brainwaves. Restorative yoga is great for this. Warm up with a few cats and cows (arching and rounding the spine). Make your way onto your back and hug one knee into your chest with your hands on top of your shin for pavanmuktasana (wind relieving pose). While you do these postures practice elongating your exhale. Not needing to exaggerate it so much so that you are forcing it, just slightly longer than your inhale.

Hold for 10 or more breaths and then switch sides. After your legs are stretched, try Viparita Karani (legs up the wall), which can also be done on your living room floor with your legs on the couch. Allow your spine to relax and you can move yourself far enough away from the wall that the sensation in the backs of your legs is very mild.

Focus on Now: A fourth limb of yoga is concentration. Now if you want to get into that savasana pose you should be able to tune into breathing, your body and here and now vs. what is happening tomorrow. Try to dose off

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IN BALANCE }} {{ LIFE SHIFT+CONTROL “As I tell clients, trying to go from fully awake to sleep doesn’t always work. You need a gray area to prepare yourself for sleep.”

on your own however another useful tool to have is a Yoga Nidra or yogic sleep recording. There are tons of free resources for these online and it helps you hang out in those Alpha waves until you find Delta. Yoga Nidra is also helpful if you wake up in the middle of the night.

If you are looking for additional 266

resources I highly recommend Acharya Shunya’s Ayurveda Lifestyle Wisdom, yogatherapy.health and Sleepfoundation.org. Remember, healthy sleep routines are a habit, just the way going to the gym is so if this doesn’t work out perfectly on the first try, keep trying. Also, every BODY is different so if you have questions go to PenfieldYogaTherapy.

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com or email kaitlyn@tozziyoga.com.

I would love to hear what is working and not working for you so we can troubleshoot together.

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{ HER EDGE }

PICKEBALL

BY BETH PARRY

Lessons for Life and Business Trying something new, in business or in your personal life should be a goal for all of us each new year.

It gets harder to try things and make new friends as we get older. The truth is, using age as an excuse not to stretch our lives is self-defeating.

January arrives along with the dreaded “slow season.” There are seasons in life, seasons of the year, and in the solopreneur world, there is the dreaded “slow season.”

It is a six to eight-week period that begins after the holidays are over.

The game is a hybrid of tennis, badminton, and ping-pong. The name comes from being “pickled,” which is when a team scores zero points in a whole game. The other story goes it was named after the originator’s dog, Pickle.

Regardless of the name, the game is worth a try.

You realize you have time on your hands.

The last quarter of the year is typically the busiest. You cannot breathe. By mid-January, you are stressing and wondering where did everyone go? This is a vulnerable time when it is easy to shrink, doubt, and begin comparing yourself to larger competitors.

This year, I decided you use my time and stretch beyond my comfort zone.I joined a Pickleball league for beginners.

I must have looked like a middleaged cliché in Dick’s Sporting Goods.

I had my new paddle, balls, and a bag. The young man waiting on me simply said, “we sold a lot of these to people over the holidays.” By “people” I assumed he meant us, ancient folks, over the age of 50.

The first night was uncomfortable.

I thought this was a leisurely sport, easy to pick up. But just like starting a business, I quickly strained a few muscles my first time out.

I was not prepared for the business

and life lessons my Wednesday night adventure would ultimately provide.

This is what I learned.

Seek Help Because pickleball is so popular there are a lot of newbies like me walking in on any given night. It is a game of humility. Less experienced players are given room to learn and make mistakes. More experienced strangers step up as willing teachers. I am grateful for the professionals who mentored me as I grew my confidence and business. I learned something from all of them. In pickleball, you play a little softer when paired with someone just starting out.

There is no need to smash the ball right away. Respectful competition is admired and appreciated both on the court and in business.

Get Set for the Right Shot To successfully execute, you must always be paddle-ready and in position. When returning a serve, it is better to make the softer calculated shot. The certainty allows you time to move closer to the “kitchen” (or the nonvolley line). This is where the game is played and won. Wait for the right opportunity, then attack.

Playing deep at the baseline is riskier and your shot is likely to go flying out of bounds because you hit it too hard. There will be opportunities to smash it for the point, but it is the disciplined short soft shots (dinks) that set you up first.

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{ HER EDGE } “Do not sit on the sidelines during a slow season. Pick up a paddle and try something new.”

Do not Judge the Pickler My biggest reason for not wanting to try Pickleball was I thought it was a game for retirees. Most of the people I saw playing were of a ‘certain age’ and stage in life. I quickly learned that the “older” players clean up and that the younger players and natural athletes must learn game basics and rules just like players of any age. There is no advantage. I was “pickled” on my first night by a pleasant older man who could barely move on the court. His ball placement sent me scrambling. By week four I easily beat a young tennis player and his girlfriend. Never judge a book, pickler, or opportunity by its cover.

Less can mean more.

Play with Integrity Winning is great, but in Pickleball, business, and life, playing with integrity is everything. You need to know the proper score and say it loudly so everyone playing knows where the game stands.

Communicate with your partner, especially at the center court. Most misses happen at the seam because no one calls for the ball. Above all, play with a generous heart when it comes to controversial calls. Your reputation and attitude are more 272

important than gaining a point. Show sportsmanship by tapping paddles for a game well played, win, or lose.

Take Pride in the Progress In sports, winning is the goal. In

Pickleball, leveling up is the real prize. Incremental progress when you are running your own small business matters. Having patience,

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welcoming diverse partners, and managing changing circumstances are lessons that help me to succeed on and off the court.

Do not sit on the sidelines during a slow season. Pick up a paddle and try something new.

{ HER EDGE }

“Having patience,

WELCOMING diverse partners, and managing CHANGING circumstances are lessons that help me to SUCCEED on and off the court.

”

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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL KARMA SPEAKS }}

MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS

BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD

OK, so here’s an article that may ruffle some feathers, but if you read my work regularly you’ll understand it probably isn’t the first one. What’s the deal with grown adults feeling entitled enough to not just mind their own business?

And yes I’m speaking from personal experience as I always tend to do.

Because I have this monthly outlet to speak my truths, I utilize it to shed light on situations that not only happen to me, but spark interest for others to ponder.

And so I utilize what I have access to.

My knowledge, land and hard work gained me the uprising of my new endeavor Camp Karmalita pup camp.

So what’s the whole premise of minding our own business? I’ll explain.

As I said I was going through the motions and one hour before my public town

Let’s talk about my recent endeavor, and what transpired because of others Interest in involving themselves, where they could have and should have approached it in a more mature respectful manner.

I am in the midst of opening a doggie daycare and boarding facility on my own personal property, and I’m doing so going about the steps to become a small local business offering a service I saw a need for in my community. A community that I grew up in and have roots in, and recently moved back to. I tend to live my life looking for the opportunities to ease into my golden years enjoying life on the other side of raising children.

Treading into a time of life where I don’t need to take care of others any more.

The kids have grown and gone, and the last part of life has crept up onto the doorstep, like the unwanted solicitor with pamphlets and prophets you have no time for.

Yet, I cannot turn and walk away, so I must embrace it and find what brings contentment while also an income.

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hearing, I was told by my neighbors who live on the other side of the road, up a hill and at least 2 football fields away, that they would be at said hearing to voice concerns. Concerns that my business would in fact have a negative effect on the family business they acquired Just a few years ago. A campsite across the road. I heard previously they would be there by a source I won’t name, but still an hour before the hearing, when I reside across the street and my silent partner is their own brother. My conclusions are that any concerns could

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have been talked about at any time as the town told me they sent them their concerns weeks before, so they had ample time to approach me, yet choose not to. So, as I pondered this, I wondered as to why these concerns, whatever they might be, were not brought about for us to meet and I could answer any questions and listen to said concerns beforehand. I found this to be extremely unprofessional as well as peti. The rest could have been avoided, but because of this decision where they came to air complaints of noise that hasn’t even happened yet, and numerous other claims of why my venture would in fact affect this “quiet country atmosphere” they claimed to offer. It’s a campsite, I’m pretty sure we all know how “quiet” a campsite is. They pulled for straws with reasons to present to the board such as the traffic my small business would generate and inquiries into my Insurance plan they assumed I did not have.

Like I said, if this couple would have been professional as well as respectful, we could have sat down and had a mature discussion, where I would have informed them with answers. Such as the minimal amount of traffic would be nothing compared to what the campsite does to this road and that I already had an Insurance policy.

But alas, I do not believe these were the honest intentions of said couple, but in fact an example of feeling entitled to meddling with someone else’s business.

And because of this, the hearing was to remain open for the next month, and I was asked to come to the next one so anyone else in the community could also voice concerns.

{{ SHIFT+CONTROL KARMA SPEAKS }}

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KARMA SPEAKS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL “Just because I aired your trashy behavior, doesn’t mean I’m taking trash. There’s a difference.”

So I did what I needed and turned to the community. I informed them that I wanted to make sure they were aware of a need I was trying to fulfill.

I informed them of the ongoings at the town hearing, and I invited them to the next one. I invited the entire community and was transparent with why I had to again attend a second one. My transparency and openness to share what happened sparked a lot of 276

conversations and opinions, which in turn brought quite a bit of recognition my way. It also led to very few individuals who viewed my transparency with how I was treated in saying I trash talked another business. My answer to that is, if you’re embarrassed at how you went about business at an open town hearing, maybe don’t act in a manner you believe when aired is talking trash.

Just because I aired your trashy behavior,

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doesn’t mean I’m taking trash. There’s a difference. But in fact if you feel different I ask you to either show me where I did so, or do what you should have to begin with.

And mind your own damn business. ❤️ Karma~

{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } { SHIFT+CONTROL }

CREATIVELY LIVING FROM LOVE

BY LISA WAGNER

Guiding Ourselves Back to Our Light “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love.

Most of us lose our creative, divergent thinking by the age of 9. We are told that the bar that we hold ourselves to has already been set by society. That we must have a realistic sense of the world in order to do well and survive .

We lose touch with our higher selves.

Our ego begins to develop and those around us, and in society help carve that ego into something so rigid, that love struggles to enter, if at all. So,how do we find our way back to that amazing childlike innocence and wonderment?

It’s easier than we think.

The moment we are born, we are the purest essence of love. We are a perfect being with no limits, and no expectations. We bring joy and light into the world, like whispers from heaven.

As we begin our life‘s journey,that innocence becomes eroded. We hear things like, “Why can’t you do better in school?” or “That’s not how things are done.” The fear of the world begins to permeate our sense of self. At first, it creates tiny fissures that make us feel unsafe, scared and confused. Through those cracks, our confidence, our joy, and the knowing of who we actually are begin to slip through them, being replaced by the world’s limitations 278

that were created by a collective fear.

In her book, “A Return To Love”, Marianne Williamson speaks about lessons from a “A Course in Miracles,” and its purpose to help us find our way back to love. Recently, I felt compelled to read Marianne’s book again. (I’ve owned it for over 30 years.) I had been listening to Gabby Bernstein’s podcast titled, “How To Use Your Intuition To Manifest”, where she speaks about Marianne‘s book and how, upon reading it, she was moved to work through “A Course in Miracles” herself. Her life had been a disaster and “The Course” began to give her direction and knowledge that her addictions to fear-based situations and activities were because she had turned away from love. She had been trying to self soothe, only to fall deeper into depression and anxiety; further and further away from herself. Emotionally, I can totally relate, (as I’m sure most of us can). My normal MO is to seek out love-based activities and people, use positive self-talk, and delight in my work as an artist.

Trying to find your essential essence ends up being an incredibly simple answer but it’s so easily forgotten. As Marianne reminds us, the answer is always making the choice to come back to love. She states “In the absence of love, we began slowly but surely to fall apart.” Love is our highest expression of who we truly are. It is our motivation, joy, and our internal peace. When we move away from our spirit, we lose focus on what really matters and turn to our ego. Our ego wants to control the narrative and lead us around by the nose. It seeks out ways to diminish

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us, quiet our inner voice and make us small. It manipulates situations in the stories we tell ourselves about them.

We can question our own gut instincts, a.k.a. our internal guidance system, as we run, frantic, trying to escape the pain, and all that comes along with it.

This is a dark place to be and one that can be so difficult to find our way out of if we’ve lost our ability to trust in something greater than ourselves. What we put our attention on will expand.

Redirecting our minds and our full being to begin to let go of control and set the intention to return back to love is essential to create a loving change. When we allow God‘s messages to enter and be heard, it creates a feeling of peace as our walls begin to crumble. We can stop running if we can trust. For those of us who try to seek a divine reset, beginning the process can be the scariest part.

We know who we are supposed to be because we’ve experienced it as young, ego-less children. We have previously felt the warming of our souls when we let go and rejoice purely in the moment.

When we experience that light, it begins to radiate out to all those around us.

God, in their infinite wisdom and adoration of us, has no bounds. There are no conditions that must be met. It just exists, waiting for us to let go of our egos and realign with our hearts.

I began my journey into leaning back and remembering who I am several years ago. My real mission in life is what my hopes and dreams have always been since childhood; to be a full-embodiment of love. Having faith that God and my angels are with me throughout helps me when I am fully invested in the story lines I have created.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }

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{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } { MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “I began my journey into leaning back and remembering who I am several years ago. My real mission in life is what my hopes and dreams have always been since childhood; to be a full-embodiment of love.”

that it is within the quiet stillness where I can open up and truly listen.

There are days the messages are quiet, just asking me to rest. There are other days where it’s as if all the angels are standing around me, guiding my hands, mind and heart in a way that is magnetic and liberating. I can’t help but want to follow along because all I can feel is the delighted dance they do when I’ve decided to allow them to stand in their divine purpose. They want to help us and guide us, as it is their motivation and their greatest achievement when they find their divinity as they assist us. It is the dance of loving cooperation towards all things rooted in pure love. I would ask that you grant that for yourself today and note how it makes you feel? Then asking yourself, “Would I love more of that?“ I would venture a safe bet that your answer will be a resounding “YES!!”

How can we each creatively remind ourselves in our darkest of times to do what Marianne asks of us; returning ourselves back to love? Recently, I made a list in my journal of what makes me truly happy. Especially things that move me and can bring joy to others. I journaled my feelings first.

Then read it back to see how I could do this in a way that felt centered and grounded, bringing about feelings of self-nurturing? My greatest joy is my art & teaching others how to work intuitively. To read this written on the page, I instantly felt at peace. Doing something not only for my soul but for

the healing of others is such a beautiful gift of grace that I’m being allowed to partake in. It all stems from my love.

I also have made an intention to up my heart space during yoga sessions. My yoga instructor, Liz, makes us all smile as we begin to release our fear and feel our hearts space is expanding to allow in peace and healing. It opens us up to infinite possibilities for something

first you must ask yourself, “do I believe I deserve this?” I want you to know the answer is always “yes!” You deserve freedom to feel good in your own skin, and the knowing of who you truly are. You deserve joy, light and love. Being in the sovereignty of God‘s grace can bring about all the healing for your life. I just ask that you trust. Let today be the day you begin that journey.

The final thing that I would ask, and this is because I know God would ask, is that you fully live in your light so that it may shine for others to see. Use whatever loving means resonates with you. This allows others the permission to do the same for themselves. They experience you standing there with your hands outstretched, beckoning them forward towards their own light. You give them the strength and courage to take their first steps back to love.

greater. Being amongst people who wish the same magnifies that energy of love. It makes it palpable, as if you’re drinking it in and allowing it to lap over you like a warm ocean wave.

Now imagine yourself, living life feeling this way, even during the most stressful times. To trust that you’re being supported and guided in ways that will free you. That is always available to us. Can you make time for this practice for yourself every day? But

Compounding the light by growing ours as part of a conscious collective, pushes fear out of this world so that our children, and our children’s children and we may begin to experience a world whose priorities no longer revolve around competition stemming from patriarchal, fear-based ideals. The world can then be balanced and fully expressed through the light of love.

That is God‘s intention for all of us and hopefully your deepest wish. Please let me know about your journey so that we may begin that sisterhood of healing and leading the way for others to follow, as we expand. Namaste.

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{ { MENTALLY THINKING SHIFT+CONTROL } }

ANOTHER YEAR BGINS

BY BONNIE FLOYD

It will soon be January 1, 2023: The beginning of a brand new year. How do each of us choose to approach this clean slate of limitless possibilities? With excitement? Hesitation? Apprehension?

Reluctance? Uncertainty? Disinterest?

It’s traditional to make New Year’s resolutions as the calendar changes from December 31 to January 1 of a new year.

In doing so, do we eagerly anticipate the chance to develop healthier habits in the coming weeks? Alternatively, have we just resigned ourselves to starting yet another new year with the same familiar, well-ingrained, but not necessarily healthy, habits?

Maybe we desire to reconnect with friends with whom we’ve lost contact, for whatever reason. Or, we might possibly decide to explore a new hobby in the new year. If a friendship has been neglected for some time, start with small efforts to reestablish contact, such as a phone call, or invitation to meet for coffee to catch up on each other’s lives. If you’re exploring a new leisure activity, try a trial kit, before you invest in purchasing more expensive materials to pursue it more intensely.

Some of us still believe that it’s possible to change our bad habits, while others may might failed efforts to do so. Perhaps we tried to lose weight the past three years in a row, only to regain the same stubborn fifteen pounds back. Maybe we’ve tried to quit smoking, more times than we care to remember, without long-term success.

Attempting to change our behavior is never an easy process.

As a clinical psychologist, I’ve witnessed multiple individuals who have struggled to maintain long-term behavioral changes.

I sincerely believe that those who have been most successful are those who have

highlighted what they gave gained as a result of their changed behavior, as opposed to focusing on what they have lost.

For example, if someone is attempting to reduce their alcohol intake, it is better to focus on the benefits of drinking less: better sleep; improved mood; weight loss; reduced inflammation, as opposed to the perceived losses associated with not drinking: increased social anxiety.

terribly unrealistic goals for themselves: they try to go from a mostly sedentary lifestyle to that of an elite athlete, in an entirely unrealistic timeframe.

No wonder most of us find ourselves not successful with such goals! It’s far better to set smaller, more sustainable goals, such ad walking, five days per week, for 30 to 40 minutes.

What are the most important things to keep in mind when trying to maintain our New Year’s resolutions? First, try to establish realistic goals. You are, of course, much more likely to achieve those goals that are truly achievable ones.

Try not to adopt an “all or nothing” approach in achieving your new year’s resolutions. Celebrate incremental changes that you achieve along the way, rather than waiting until you reach your final goal. Doing so is a way to maintain your motivation.

After all, if you are attempting to lose a total of fifty pounds, ypu need to remind yourself that it took time to gain this weight, so it will also require time to take the weight off. Of course, none of us likes delayed gratification. We live in a society that craves instant results, which are most unrealistic to achieve, as well as to maintain.

Each new year offers each of us a fresh opportunity to start over, to renew our commitment to become the best possible version of ourselves. Think of what a truly remarkable thing that really is! We aren’t obligated to repeat the unhealthy habits of our past, despite how difficult it can be to change our behaviors on a long-term basis.

Flashy infomercials appeal to our reduced attention spans, causing us to suspend reality when we assess what goals are actually realistic ones to achieve over time.

Always remember that we are much more likely to be successful if we have an accountability partner, someone to whom we need to honestly report about what we’ve really been doing, and how often we’ve been doing it. Truly, this makes such a difference in achieving success.

If initial goals seem insurmountable, try breaking them down into smaller, more manageable goals. You’ll be much less likely to become discouraged by doing so, and therefore, less likely to give up on trying to reach your goals. For example, one of your resolutions may be to become more physically fit in 2023.

We all know that gym memberships skyrocket during the first week of January, but plummet by the end of the next month.

Many times, this is because individuals set

Know that you have the ability to be successful in keeping your New Year’s resolutions in 2023, believing that you do is a very important key to doing so!

Bonnie J. Floyd, Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychologist

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