From lawyer to interior designer.

@teriantilston_interiordesign @teriantilston_interiordesign www.teriantilston.com

In this article we have a Q&A session with Terian Tilston who appeared in Season 1 of BBC’s Interior Design Masters. She took the leap from being a lawyer to pursuing her passion for interior design. She talks about the fragility of life, wellbeing and the importance of doing more of the things you love.

What sparked your passion for interior design?

I have always had a passion for interior design and the influence came from my mum who was really into design, colour and fashion. She was always changing things in the house, we were always looking at home things and reading home magazines. So, I’d say my passion came from my mum.

You were previously a lawyer, why did you become a lawyer?

I didn’t really want to be a lawyer. I always wanted to do something creative, but I felt a certain pressure from my family to do something which they would perceive as traditionally more academic. I found it really difficult studying law. I really loved art, drama, music and I love creating stuff. That’s when I feel most alive. I didn’t even study much art. I felt like I had to do more academic stuff which I didn’t enjoy. I felt like I really just wanted to make a difference in people’s lives at the time and that’s what I thought I was going to do by doing law but that’s not really what it was like.

How did you feel being a lawyer?

It wasn’t my passion and I felt so frustrated a lot of the time. I didn’t feel like I was helping people and that’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to make people happy. I felt pretty unhappy a lot of the time because I just knew deep down it’s not what I should be doing. It felt really unnatural a lot at the time but I always like to give my all to everything, so I just pushed through. However, I always felt like I just didn’t belong.

How long before you became a full time interior designer were you thinking of becoming one? What prevented you taking the leap sooner?

I’ve always wanted to do something creative. I remember saying to my teacher in primary 5 that I wanted to be an interior designer because my mum’s friend was one. She used to do a lot of work in our house, and I used to shadow her a lot so she really inspired me.

Even when I was doing my traineeship to be a lawyer I rebelled and needed to have a creative outlet, so I set up a business called The Little Brown Bear. I made bespoke kids room accessories, wedding presents, cushions and upholstery. So, I was having an input in designing rooms for people from then on.

After my two years training, I was a lawyer for six years. I’d always been thinking about it, but I didn’t really have the confidence to take the leap. I always thought it was something I’d do when I was older, whatever old is. But I just never really got round to it. I think I was nervous about the prospect of it being a selfish thing to do because I had a family. I had a husband and a kid at the time. I thought it would be quite selfish of me to quit a stable career which was holding things together for me to selfishly pursue my dreams. I was always thinking about it, but I didn’t know how to put steps in place.

What was the turning point for you that made you chase your passion for interior design? How did you feel during this transition?

Two factors. In 2018 that whole year absolutely changed my life for better and also for worse. It was a complete change of my life. First of all, I was approached by a production company for a new TV show at the time called Interior Design Masters. I went through a long audition process and then was actually selected to be on the TV show. It was a BBC production together with Netflix, so it was a pretty big deal. I didn’t really know what I would do with the experience, but I knew it was invaluable experience being on that TV show. I knew it was an opportunity I couldn’t miss. I was still working as a lawyer at the same time as doing the show which was the most stress I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. I thought I’d maybe get a bit of exposure doing the show and see where things would take me but I still didn’t have the full intention of leaving a full-time career as yet. I think the finance side of it freaked me out. About August 2018 I had just left Interior Design Masters but we still had more filming to do in September for the final. When I came back my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and deteriorated really quickly. She passed away seven weeks after diagnosis. This changed everything. When my mum passed away, she was only 59 years’ old, and it was an unbelievable shock. I think at that point I had an awakening and for the first time in my life, I could see clearly. It shocked me into living. I became so aware of how fragile life is and how quickly things can change. What frightened and saddened me was that my mum never reached retirement, but she was working so hard all the time to get to that point. I suddenly thought, “what am I doing here, why am I in a job that is making me absolutely miserable all the time?” I thought that I could die at any moment, and I would never have got to live out my passions. At that point the whole thought of finance didn’t really enter my mind as a factor anymore. I thought, “so what if I want to do this, I’ll make it work and it will work out somehow.” So, I quit my job and I set up my design firm. When my mum passed away, I took some time off work and started throwing myself into planning for the business. It really helped me through the grieving process, it kept me busy and gave me a focus. It helped me be there for my child, Harrison, who was 2 at the time and it kept me going for him. I have no regrets.

Everything was still raw from my mum passing away, but weirdly I felt awake, alive, blessed and empowered. I think I was in shock, probably because of what happened to us. My mum was more than just a mum, she was my best friend. She was here “I felt every single day to help with Harrison and she awake, alive, was my family, she was everything. This was a blessed and huge life changing thing that happened but for empowered.” the first time in my life I was pursuing a career that I knew I wanted to do. Everything then just fell into place, so I knew I had made the right decision. It wasn’t like law where I felt everything was against me. Everything was now

flowing naturally and coming to me with ease. I felt strong, motivated and positive.

How do you feel each day now that you do your passion full-time? Although you’re doing what you love I’m sure interior design also comes with its own challenges, how do you take care of your wellbeing?

I do feel blessed and liberated, however it’s not easy. I do want to make that clear. Pursuing your passion is wonderful but it’s also really scary. Fear does creep in a lot, and it takes a lot of energy for me to bat it away. I feel more confident as my own boss doing something that I know is right for me, and that genuinely helps people to feel happy with their surroundings and happy within their own lives.

What advice would you give to people who know that they have a passion/ calling in life but have limiting beliefs around making this a reality?

Fear plays a big factor in limiting beliefs. I would say to do more of the things that you love. If you don’t feel confident just yet to make a big leap, I would advise you to do more of the things you like doing and less of the things you don’t like doing as much. During the day I worked as a lawyer to make money but in the evenings, I was doing more of those creative things that helped build my confidence. Your passion doesn’t always have to be about making a financial sacrifice, it’s not always about money. What I would also say is that life is so fragile, and you don’t want to go without having experienced the things that you were passionate about. You have nothing to lose by doing more of the things that you’re passionate about.

What makes you happy?

Making other people happy, that’s what I love doing. I love to make other people’s lives fuller. This is a great question and it’s something I am still trying to work out. I have been doing this for 4 years now. I must admit that I’m really bad at taking care of my wellbeing and I am still in the process of finding out a way to be able to juggle having two kids, my own business and my own struggles mentally. I have struggled pretty badly with my mental health since my mum passed away. I’m taking care of my own wellbeing at the moment through therapy and I cannot recommend it enough. It is just the most wonderful thing that I could ever have found. The power of talking through things and allowing myself that hour where I can just cry freely and release my emotions or allow them to pass through really helps me. However, I do need to find more ways of looking after my wellbeing as I’m not very good at that at all.