10 minute read
Kids Say the Wisest Things
by Beth Long, PhD, LPC, BCBA
Embrace the Challenges
A few months ago, I was giving an IQ test to an adorable little boy. As the questions became more difficult, he looked at me and said, “This is challenging. I love a good challenge.” His reaction was so different. Typically, children become frustrated when it gets too hard or they give a whiney variation of, “I don’t know, I just want to stop.”
At five years of age this sweet boy had already learned the value of persistence in the face of resistance. The United States military has a popular saying, “Embrace the Suck”. Research among members of the military has repeatedly shown that mental toughness was developed and/or improved when they accepted the difficulty of a situation, made a plan to overcome it, and followed through with the plan.
While parenting may not be as life threatening as serving in a foreign war, it is a grueling and persistent battle. No home is drama free. Bedtime is rarely easy, kitchens are hardly ever clean, and children are only happy about completing chores or homework once in a blue moon. Unfortunately, some parents want someone to “fix” their child at the first sign of anything problematic. The truth is, all children have tantrums, all children are selfish, and no one is born with the ability to be logical when they are overly emotional. How are you dealing with this as a parent? Are you embracing the challenge or becoming whiney and frustrated?
How can you be an emotionally healthy parent? Embrace the suck. To improve your own mental toughness, you need to EXPECT to clean up vomit, cancel your exciting plans for a sick child, deal with a tantrum at the worst possible moment, or a variety of other parenting realities. Once you fully embrace the suck you can avoid the joy stealing pitfalls of bitterness and resentment. When we embrace the suck, we are better able to see the beauty of a face and dress covered in ice cream or the humor in a sassy comment. Embracing the suck of parenting will not only heal you and free you, it will also allow you to fully experience the joys of raising children in spite of how angry, frustrated, sad, or alienated being a parent may make you may feel.
I was blessed by a friend who taught me this lesson when my oldest was very young. When I was at her house, her son found a hole in a pillow and pulled out all of the stuffing. It was everywhere. I was exasperated and thought, “How annoying. This will take forever to clean.” She fell on the floor laughing and ran to get a camera. The mess didn’t surprise her (she had previously embraced the suck of toddlers and messes). She treasured that moment (made a plan to enjoy the messes), and did not allow the inconvenience to make her bitter or resentful (followed through with the plan).
Let’s revisit that sweet, challenge loving five-year-old. Do you know who modeled that behavior to him? His mother. She rarely complains, becomes frustrated, or whines. She looks at parenting problems as an exciting mystery to solve. Trust me, her son is H-A-R-D, but her attitude towards parenting is positively changing her life and his.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
Millbrook 17 Springs Art, Beats & Eats Festival
9 a.m.-1 p.m. Village Green Park, 3199 Main Street, Millbrook. There will be artists from across the region, as well as great music and delicious eats from a variety of local food trucks. Admission is free! Vendor spaces available. Contact Brenda at (334) 285-0085 or MACCMLB@gmail.com for more info.
Alabama Nature Center Natural Resources EXPO
November 9 * 9 a.m.-1:30 p.m.
The Alabama Nature Center is inviting high school junior and senior students to come out and have a day like no other. The Natural Resources Expo will allow students opportunities to speak with natural resource professionals, participate in handson experiences in the field, and get a taste of all the natural resource career opportunities that await them. Formerly “Woods, Water and Wildlife” FFA days open to high school juniors and seniors ONLY. Lunch provided. Space limited; must pre-register. Students will be able to choose their own “trek” for the day based on their interest.
Contact Kristen at kirions@alabamawildlife.org to register.
November 6 * 8-10:30 a.m. Prattville Christian Academy
The course winds through the cleared trail behind the athletic fields and through PCA’s Outdoor Classroom. All levels of runners (and walkers) are encouraged to participate. Leashed dogs are also welcome but strollers are discouraged due to uneven terrain. All proceeds are dedicated towards filling in the gaps with athletics, special programs, and help for families in need. For more info, visit http://4pca.org/ panther-prowl/.
Christmas Events @ Russell Crossroads
The annual Holiday Bazaar at Russell Crossroads will be held November 26 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. The Bazaar, in conjunction with Christmas at Crossroads, will be held on the Town Green, 19 Russell Farms Road in Alexander City. Artisans feature everything from jewelry, soaps, paintings, pottery, woodwork, lotions, furniture, and much more!
Christmas at Russell Crossroads will be held from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Santa will arrive by carriage. On the Town Green, in addition to the Holiday Bazaar, there will be tons of arts and crafts for the children to make and games for them to play! Come spend Black Friday with Santa and a whole lot more.
Contact Hannah at hhenley@russelllands.com or call (256) 397-1019 or (256) 212-1443 for more info.
A Montgomery Holiday Tradition featuring Miss Kitty’s Favorite Dances of Christmas Saturday, November 13, at 2 & 7 p.m. Sunday, November 14, at 2 p.m. Davis Theatre for the Performing Arts
A special FREE performance will be held for military, first responders & healthcare providers on Friday, November 12, at 7 p.m. The performance is open to all active duty, retirees, reserve and National Guard military personnel, active and retired responders and health care providers and their families who present a valid ID card at the box office. For tickets or more info, visit alabamadancetheatre.com or call (334) 625-2590. Photo credit Richard Calmes
Alabama Shakespeare Festival Presents Cinderella
November 27- January 2
Music by Rodgers & lyrics by Hammerstein. Directed by Shelley Butler. Recommended ages 7+. Rodgers + Hammerstein’s Cinderella is the Tony Award-winning musical from the creators of South Pacific and The Sound of Music that delights audiences with its surprisingly contemporary take on the classic tale. For tickets or more info, visit https:// asf.net/ or call (334) 271-5353.
Montgomery Academy STEAMFest & Mini Art Show
November 6 * 10 a.m.-1 p.m. 1550 Perry Hill Rd, Montgomery
Children in pre-K through 6th grade can enjoy FREE hands-on STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art & Math) activities. We’ll have exhibits from Sloss Furnaces National Historic Landmark Metal Arts, National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE), Snapology of The River Region, Alabama Wildlife Federation, STARBASE Maxwell, and more! For more info, find us on Facebook.
Pike Road Arts & Crafts Fair
November 6 * 9 a.m.-4 p.m. The Historic Marks House Handmade crafts and original art everywhere you look. Also BBQ, fried chicken, homemade baked goods and our worldfamous MOCHA NUT SQUARES! Bring your entire family for photo ops with Mr. & Mrs. Claus! Children’s petting zoo, pony rides and face painters. For more info, find us on Facebook.
Beyond Van Gogh: The Immersive Experience
November 17-January 2 10 a.m.-9 p.m. except for Mondays Birmingham-Jefferson Convention Complex Immerse yourself in Van Gogh’s artwork like you’ve never seen it before. Beyond Van Gogh is a rich and unique multimedia experience, taking the viewer on a journey through more than 300 iconic artworks including instantly-recognizable classics “The Starry Night,” “Sunflowers” and “Cafe Terrace at Night,” now freed from their frames. For more info, visit https://vangoghbirmingham.com/ or call (800) 441-0819.
November 14 * Noon-3 p.m. Hampstead Town Center A variety of local trucks may include On A Roll, Wharf Casual Seafood Montgomery, Smokin’ Wells BBQ, Taqueria El Campesino, Fire Meats Wood LLC, Made Cookies, That’s My Dog Montgomery, and more! Enjoy craft beer, wine and cocktails at The Tipping Point. Live music. Great for all ages. No rain date, but may cancel due to public health alerts. For more info, visit www.hampsteadliving.com.
Connie Dacus
Success Unlimited Academy
For 28 years, Connie Dacus has been educating the minds of young people in Alabama schools. After nearly three decades, she retired in 2020 from higher education. Ms. Dacus holds a bachelor’s and master’s degree in Health, Physical Education and a minor in Recreation from Alabama State University.
After retiring from higher education, she transitioned back to her roots in early childhood education as a kindergarten teacher. As a former military spouse, Ms. Dacus explains, “I felt I needed to bloom where I was planted, so I taught pre-k, kindergarten, and first grade in my early years of teaching. I chose kindergarten again because that’s where the love for learning is forever embedded in our children, and I wanted to be a part of that process.”
Choosing to teach at Success Unlimited Academy, Ms. Dacus felt she could contribute to our youth, and in particular, help the extensive number of children dealing with learning issues due to the COVID-19 interruption. For Ms. Dacus, teaching has always been a gift, and she knows that she’s helping chart a purpose-driven course for each child she impacts.
Along with her passion and dedication to teaching future leaders, Ms. Dacus has various teaching goals she strives for daily inside her classroom. Her philosophy is to be present during the moment because today counts. Teach each child as though they were your own because you learn and promote empathy. Thirdly, always be honest with parents even though it may be difficult. They deserve that from teachers.
Once she finally retires from teaching, Ms. Dacus plans to travel and visit places with her mom and sister, spend time where she grew up as a child, and spend more time with her children and grandchildren.
