Wedding & Marriage Issue - River Region's Journey Feb 2019

Volume 20, Issue 11

Feature Articles

FEBRUARY 2 0 1 9 Columns page 2

Publisher’s Note

page 14

Faith @ Work

Jason Watson

Charles and Essence Phenix aren’t just married with children, they also work together as owners of Smoothie King in Montgomery. Discover how their faith plays a key role in making their partnership work both at home and in business.

page 4

Pastor's Perspective Josh Wootton, Eastern Hills Baptist Church

page 12

Pondering the Journey Sam Whatley

page 16

page 22

Wedding Tips and Trends

Women Arising

Find out what’s trending in attire, food, flowers and more as you begin planning your wonderful wedding celebration.

The Intersection

Pastor Kemi Searcy

page 30

by Kimberly Blaker

Bob Crittenden

page 36

page 20

Advice for Before and After Your Wedding

We sat down with newlyweds Grace and Henry Miller to find out how they prepared for marriage and are moving towards oneness during their first year. *photography by Josh Moates, Kim Box Photography

Dave $ays Dave Ramsey

In Every Issue page 6

Books to Read page 8

page 24

Around Our Community

Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage

page 14

Faith @ Work

by Bryan Stoudt

Discover how to move your marriage toward greater intimacy, whether you are just starting out or have been together many years.

page 32

Support Groups 1

February 2019

River Region’s Journey

Project1.

Our Mission...

We believe the Good News concerning the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is worth sharing with our friends and neighbors in the River Region. Each month we deliver this life-changing message to the centers of activity across our community in a user-friendly and relevant way to empower and equip all those seeking to grow closer to God. Join us in this mission by sharing a copy with your neighbor or by becoming an advertising partner starting next month.

Editor DeAnne Watson deanne@readjourneymagazine.com

Publisher

Jason Watson jason@readjourneymagazine.com

Associate Publisher Gena Hill

Research Editor Wendy McCollum

Contributing Writers Kimberly Blaker Bob Crittenden Grace and Henry Miller Dave Ramsey Kemi Searcy Dr. David Steele Bryan Stoudt Sam Whatley Josh Wootton

Advertising Opportunities Jason Watson ads@readjourneymagazine.com (334) 213-7940 ext 702

Digital Manager Scott Davis

Ad Design

Tim Welch, Welch Designs

Distribution Manager

From the Publisher I’ve heard many times how lucky I am to be married to DeAnne, and I agree. Thankfully, she tells me she’s the lucky one a good bit too. We are blessed and have loved being married nearly 25 years. But, neither one of us would credit our great marriage to luck. All marriages have their ups and downs, and it’s easier than ever to bail on each other when you feel you’ve had enough. DeAnne and I haven’t gotten all the way down that road, but we’ve travelled on it many times. When two “not-yet-glorified” beings are made one in marriage, there are bound to be problems. We didn’t get “lucky” and avoid marriage problems. We encounter them like everyone else. So, if I had to say what has blessed our marriage more than anything else, I would say it was being taught and shown by several older Christian couples that marriage takes a commitment to God’s truth AND GRACE, and to the consistent work of learning how to serve and bless your spouse like Christ served the church.

I’m a CrossFitter. There are many times in the gym that I am irritated about the prescribed workout of the day. I may not be good at a required exercise or I may be tired. But I keep going and put in the work because I have found, even though there is struggle involved, that doing CrossFit makes me healthier and happier.

The payoff is well worth the struggle. No marriage is free from struggles, but the payoff of putting in the right work, using God’s right form, produces one of life’s greatest blessings.

Each year we publish this special Wedding & Marriage Issue to encourage couples to experience the blessing of a God-honoring marriage. There is so much good news for your current or upcoming marriage in this issue. Please soak it all up as a couple and discuss what you’ve learned. Then, let me encourage you to find wise Christian couples who are older than you to spend time with. Invite them over to dinner or out to lunch after church and tell them what you’ve read. Ask them their thoughts and learn from them.

Finally, we know some of you are just now making plans for your wedding.

Congratulations! Just for you, we’ve included the latest tips and trends to help make your wedding day beautiful. From a beautiful day together to a beautiful life together, may your marriage be one of your greatest blessings!

Charles Silliman

River Region’s Journey is published monthly by Keep Sharing, P.O. Box 230367, Montgomery, AL 36123.

For information, call 334-213-7940. River Region’s Journey is copyrighted 2018 by KeepSharing. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited.

The opinions expressed in River Region’s Journey are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the owners, nor do they constitute an endorsement of products or services herein. River Region’s Journey has the right to refuse any content that is not consistent with its statement of faith.

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February 2019

River Region’s Journey

Pastor’s Perspective Josh Wootton, Eastern Hills Baptist Church

Marriage Across the Races “I just don’t think it’s right” — These were the words my wife heard when the topic of interracial marriage came up among a group of Christian women at our church in Mississippi. There was no theological backing, no well-thought-out biblical argument, just what amounts to an, “I don’t like it so it’s wrong,” attitude. This mindset should not have been a surprise to us. We both grew up in the South.

We knew the feelings toward interracial marriage, but it was still difficult to hear people that we worshiped with regularly make such a bold and misinformed statement.

People come up with all sorts of reasons to reject interracial marriage (some more steeped in prejudice than others), but they basically take the form of “God wants to keep the races separate.” Well, let’s take a quick peek into the mind of God as He has revealed it through examples in Scripture.

Let’s see what He thinks about marrying across the races.

Rahab Married Across Races

The book of Joshua tells the story of a woman named Rahab. She was a Canaanite (a different race than the Israelites). She submitted to the God of Israel and helped hide two Israelite spies who had come into the land of Canaan. Because of her faith, she was accepted as one of God’s family.

She would later go on to marry an Israelite and had the great honor of being an ancestor of Jesus Christ. Her interracial marriage did not displease the Lord. Her faith made her right in the sight of God and her interracial marriage placed her in the lineage of Christ.

Ruth Married Across Races

The book of Ruth tells of an Israelite woman named Naomi who had a daughterin-law of a different race, Ruth the Moabite.

Early in the book we learn that both Naomi’s husband and her son died, leaving Naomi and Ruth as widows.

Ruth pledged her loyalty to Naomi and placed her faith in the God of Israel. The rest of the book follows Ruth as she pursued Naomi’s nearest male relative, Boaz the Israelite. Jewish law required Boaz, as Ruth’s nearest relative, to perform his duty as kinsman redeemer and marry her.

He humbled himself before the Lord and married this woman of a different race. The act pleased God, and Boaz’s reward was to find himself alongside Ruth in the lineage of Jesus Christ in addition to being the great grandfather of the great Israelite king, David.

Moses Married Across Races

It may be easy to dismiss the interracial marriages of Rahab River Region’s Journey

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and Ruth because they are somewhat minor biblical characters, but it is very hard to dismiss anything about Moses. Not only did Moses help free Israel from the oppressive rule of Egypt, he also led them faithfully in the wilderness for 40 years, met with God one-on-one at Mt. Sinai, personally received the Ten Commandments, and would later appear alongside the prophet Elijah at the transfiguration of Jesus. Also...he married a black woman. Numbers 12 refers to Moses’ wife as a Cushite. Cush, also translated as Ethiopia, was an area south of Egypt that was inhabited by a civilization of black Africans for thousands of years. When Moses’ marriage to this Cushite was questioned, God defended him and called him faithful. In other words, God approved of what Moses was doing, including his interracial marriage.

Keep the faith pure, not the race.

Rahab, Ruth, and Moses were not prohibited from marrying across races, but there was one condition that had to be met. God expected each of these people and their spouses to be faithful to Him. Godly marriage is not defined by its purity of race, but by its faithfulness to God. For Christians, fighting against interracial marriage is a waste of time. We should instead be fighting for marriages in which both spouses seek to live a God-honoring, Christ-centered life. When children get to the age where they are bringing home possible future spouses, the first question should not be, “What color are they?” but, “How much do they love the Lord?” God never asked us to keep the races pure; His concern is that we keep the faith pure.

Josh Wootton is the lead pastor of Eastern Hills Baptist Church in Montgomery (3604 Pleasant Ridge, Rd.). He holds an M.Div from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and is currently working on his D.Min in biblical theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is happily married to Jennifer and they have two children.

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The Preacher’s Catechism

Holy Roar

Lewis Allen (2018) I am a big fan of catechisms.

So when I learned about The Preacher’s Catechism by Lewis Allen, I was intrigued. Actually, I jumped at the chance to read and review this book. Little did I know that this powerful little book would break me and convict me. It would mold and challenge me. It would encourage and edify me. The Preacher’s Catechism is remarkable in a myriad of ways, a few of which I will briefly describe below.

This book is targeted to preachers. While some may consider this narrow target audience as ill-conceived, this strategy works well and helps accomplish the ultimate ends of the author.

Three convictions govern this book, which are set forth in the opening pages: *The church needs preachers who last and thrive. *Preachers must understand how preaching works, and how their souls work. *The Westminster Shorter Catechism is an outstanding resource for the heart needs of every preacher.

Summarizing the essence of The Preacher’s Catechism is an impossible task. But at its very heart is a series of gospel-centered challenges and soul-stirring encouragements. This work is like a theological battering ram that is designed to crush pride, self-sufficiency, false motives and deeds of the flesh. But make no mistake.

The author does not intend to merely convict preachers; his ultimate aim is to encourage them. Once the feeble scaffolding of the flesh is sufficiently toppled, the author winsomely directs the attention of preachers to the cross. “Listeners need to know that the preacher is contented in his God and rejoicing in his Savior,” writes Allen. He continues, “When our lives as preachers are filled with a sense of amazement about the grace that is ours in Christ, others start asking questions about that grace and seeking it for themselves.”

To call The Preacher’s Catechism a success would be a profound understatement. For this book captures what is truly important about pastoral ministry. It is a vivid reminder to keep the main thing the main thing. It serves preachers by admonishing them and encouraging them. But in the final analysis, it leads preachers back to the cross. It graciously beckons them to not only preach Christ crucified but to cherish the old rugged cross and lay claim to the saving benefits that Christ wrought for his elect.

Chris Tomlin & Darren Whitehead (2018) Chris Tomlin has become somewhat of a household name in recent years. His worship songs have circled the globe and are songs in languages from every tribe and nation. I will never forget sitting with a group of college students in an Eastern block country.

I was the only participant that did not speak a lick of Russian. These students belted out song after song in their heart language – and I didn’t understand a thing. But twenty minutes into the service, this group of joyful worshippers began to sing “How Great is Our God” – in Russian. It was a moment of sheer delight as I hummed the well-known words in English and worshipped with my Russian comrades, brothers and sisters in Christ.

Holy Roar is the collaborative work of Chris Tomlin and his pastor, Darren Whitehead. In each chapter Pastor Whitehead unpacks the seven Hebrew words of praise and invites readers to join in each of the respective aspects of God-centered worship. Each of the words is summarized below:

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Yada – The hands of praise Halal- The fools of praise Zamar – The music of praise Towdah – The expectation of praise Barak – The posture of praise Tehillah – The songs of praise Shabach – The shout of praise Whitehead briefly defines each Hebrew word and makes direct application that can be immediately implemented in the Christian life.

Tomlin concludes each chapter with personal story about a song he’s penned or recorded and how that song relates to the Hebrew word for praise in the chapter.

Holy Roar is a short and readable book. It may be used as a devotional or may be utilized by small groups of Christ-followers who are seeking the face of God. The authors invite readers to join them on “this unifying journey of praise.” Each participant, then, will join the heavenly throng (as I joined with my Russian friends) in the collective holy roar.

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February 2019

River Region’s Journey

Just Give Me Jesus Tour

Unspoken, Northpoint Inside Out, Caitie Hurst Thursday, March 14, 2019 at 7:00 pm, Doors open at 6:00 pm First Assembly of God Church, 135 Bell Road, Montgomery, AL Visit itickets.com or call 800-965-9324.

Family Life presents Weekend to Remember Friday, February 15 – Sunday, February 17, 2019 Embassy Suites, 300 Tallapoosa Street, Montgomery, AL The two-and-a-half day romantic weekend getaway is a time to be together as a couple to invest in and strengthen the foundation of your marriage, no matter how firm or fragile it is. By getting away from the distractions of life, you can fortify your most important relationship and work toward building wonderful memories together, for decades to come. For more information visit famiilylife.com/weekend-to-remember.

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Local author Kym Klass sheds light on Suicide, Depression and Fighting to Keep the Faith in her first book, “One More Day” It was a couple of days after my sister died, and I lay awake in the guest room in my father’s house.

I was crushed, and my insides were so twisted and numb that I didn’t even know how to move.

I had traveled 800 miles to Texas for Katie’s funeral, and as I lay there, I undeniably felt God’s presence. He filled the room with all the promise that he provides when life is good, hard, fulfilling, and empty. With all the security that he would uphold us, care for us, love us, and provide for us.

I felt him there filling all the space possible, waiting for me to reach out to him.

So, I did. I lifted my arm, stretched it out into the dark and silent bedroom, palm faced out, and said out loud in a voice even I didn’t recognize, “You ... can wait.”

So begins the book “One More Day: a powerful true story of suicide, loss, and a woman’s newfound faith,” where author Kym Klass expresses and shares the most painful moments following her sister’s

October 31, 2015, suicide, and how her faith was rocked.

Completely.

Released in October, “One More Day” is a story of heartache, heartbreak, and also one of perseverance as Klass weaves her way through loss, grief, depression, and coming to terms with her new life, and her new normal – one that includes antidepressants, therapy, and one that means rediscovering her relationship with God. Of having to say, as she stood alone in her kitchen one evening, she was sorry for pushing Him away.

“One More Day” is a book that touches on the often-taboo topic of mental health. Of suicide and depression. Nothing is off limits as Klass opens a world of suicidal ideations, of a depression so deep that ending a life seems the only answer, and of a world where clawing your way out of the darkness soon presents a world of hope.

It is not only about her sister’s loss, though. It is also about her brother’s passing following a hiking accident, and her mother’s loss to breast cancer. It is about a rape while out on a morning run when Klass was a college student, and it is about forgiveness and starting over.

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“One More Day” reminds us that we have chances to start over. That we need to grab hold of those closest to us and allow ourselves to become vulnerable when we feel our weakest and ask for help when we feel there’s nowhere to turn. It reminds us that we need to stay true to our faith – and to not lose it. It reminds us that we need to remain steadfast in our values and to remember God is good, all the time.

This is Klass’s first book, and it is her hope that it reaches suicide survivors, families grieving, and those who face depression. She hopes the book helps to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health, and that it works to continue the mental health conversation.

Most importantly, Klass wants people to know they are not alone in their battle, whether that is with their faith, a mental illness, or grief. Through her book, she desires for others to know there is hope for one more day.

Kym Klass lives in Prattville and is the author of “One More Day,” published by Hilltop30 Publishers.

She serves on the National Alliance on Mental Illness Alabama board of directors, as well as serving as secretary for the NAMI Montgomery board of directors.

A 20-year veteran journalist, she attends Centerpoint Fellowship Church. She can be reached at kymklass@gmail.com. Her book can be found on Amazon at bit. ly/OneMoreDayKymKlass. For an autographed copy, you may email her.

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River Region’s Journey

Renascence Re-Entry Community 2019 Ping Pong Tournament for All Ages and Abilities Friday, March 1, 6-9 pm (Party) and Saturday, March 2 (Tournament) 9 am-2 pm Alcazar Center, 555 Eastern Blvd, Montgomery

The Ping Pong Tournament offers a healthy, fun activity for residents of all ages and abilities in Montgomery and surrounding areas.

Ping pong is a life sport for all ages that promotes socialization as well as competition, brain health as well as eye-hand coordination and quick reflexes.

People who play recreationally can test their skills and compete outside their rec rooms or youth groups.

The Tournament benefits Renascence, a re-entry home for men coming out of the prison system. They need a hand up (not a hand-out) as they transition into society and employment. No other program in the city, and few in the state, provides safe, drug-free housing for male ex-offenders. Like a ping pong ball, the men of Renascence want to bounce back into productive lives.

Go to halfway-home.net to sign up for the tournament and/or the preview party.

Fee: $10 for ages 18 and under; $20 for ages 19 and over. Preview Party Donation: $45 per person includes food, beverages, dance band, silent auction and lots of opportunity to play ping pong.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: Renascence Re-Entry Community, 832-1402.

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The Third Option People like to choose sides. They love rivalries. Witness college football in Alabama. The children of anyone moving to our state are asked in the first month of school, “Are you for Auburn or Alabama?” The child goes blank, so the question is rephrased. “Do your parents say ‘War Eagle’ or ‘Roll Tide?’”

The child goes home frantically seeking the answer to this question. His standing with his new classmates hangs in the balance.

The question of rivalries poses an artificial elimination of any third choice. The football rivalry assumes that, either there are only two colleges in the state, or that other colleges do not matter. Because, if someone

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were to choose a third team, it would spoil the mystique and the importance of the rivalry.

But rivalries are not limited to sports.

Look at our two major political parties.

Again, there are other parties on the ballot in most states, but the top two strongly demand loyalty. In fact, they try to appear as different from one another as possible to establish their identity. Polarization, some folks call it.

It’s not new. In the 1930s in Europe the question was, “Are you pro-Nazi or proCommunist?” And their supporters were rabid. People who favored some third form of government were highly suspect. Rivalries lose their power when a third option is taken seriously.

In the world of religion there is a rivalry that is often overlooked. It, also, falsely assumes that there is no third option. There is a rivalry between belief systems based on reaching God through rules, laws, and traditions (Rule Keepers) versus a system of hedonism, anarchy, and apathy toward God (Rule Breakers). One side wants to earn their way to heaven through works, prayers, and fasting, while the other chooses to believe that if there is a God, He does not matter. They emphasize freedom, pleasure, and comfort.

All over the world you see these two rivals competing for the souls of men and women.

There are people who call themselves Christians in both camps. But Christianity is actually a 12

third option. It is a living relationship between a person who has been adopted into the family of God through the work of Christ and the mercy of God the Father.

Those who believe that Jesus paid their debt and covered their sin are free from the rivalry of religion. They can commune directly with God through prayer, studying His Word, and worship with other believers. They can speak to God and He to them. The rules are helpful as long as they reinforce God’s Word.

But they have no power to earn any favor with God. Christ gives us His righteousness and takes away our sin.

People like rivalries because they like the excitement of competition. However, the competition can become brutal and the excitement can turn into anger. Over time anger may boil into unforgiveness, bitterness, and even hatred. This is especially true in the rivalry of the Rule Keepers and the Rule Breakers of our world.

Jesus teaches us a better way. He urges us to pray for those who oppose us and forgive those who wrong us. In the book of Matthew, He says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light,” (Matthew 11:28-30) NIV. When we live our lives in, with, and for Christ, obedience to Him is a natural response of love and gratitude. We have the Holy Spirit living within us to guide, enable, comfort, and sometimes warn us. It’s not about how we measure up to others. Christ has done all that needs to be done to bring His people into a relationship with Him. We are free to give Him all that we have, all that we are, and all that we may ever be.

If you have not already done so, choose the third option, an eternal relationship with God that He established through His Son before the world was formed.

Sam Whatley’s latest book, Ponder Anew, is now available at the Frazer Bookstore located inside Frazer Memorial UMC.

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Our Statement of Faith In keeping with Protestant theology, we believe that the Bible, as contained in the 66 books of the Old and New Testaments, is fully inspired by God and therefore inerrant in the original manuscripts. The Bible is the only essential and infallible record of God’s self-disclosure to mankind. The Scriptures are the authoritative and normative rule and guide of all Christian life, practice, and doctrine. They are totally sufficient and must not be added to, superseded, or changed by later tradition, extra-biblical revelation, or worldly wisdom. The Bible is perfect in every way and shows us how to become and live as Christians.

The way of becoming a Christian is by faith alone in Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, who came to us, born of a virgin, in full human form while remaining fully God. Jesus was, and is, perfect, and was crucified so that others could live. Three days later He rose from the dead, never to die again.

He ascended into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God the Father, where He, the only mediator between God and man, continually makes intercession for His own.

Those who have faith in Jesus as their Lord in this life, and Savior from damnation in the next life, now live by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, becoming more like Jesus everyday.

We believe that God is one God. The one God has three persons: the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Just as God is one, so also, all believers are to be one. We believe in the unity and fellowship of all those that have faith in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. We are one in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church, His Body, which is composed of all men, living and dead, who have been joined to Him through saving faith. *All editorial content published needs to be in agreement with our Statement of Faith

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get understanding.” When we say “stop”, we mean we intentionally schedule time when we both aren’t pre-occupied or busy and discuss the issue at hand. At that time, we have a very frank, direct conversation with a resolution and steps to get better.

RRJ: Couples who work together is rare.

How do you two do that successfully?

When we first started the business, Charles was still active duty military.

Therefore, I was running the day to day operations and he served as support staff with decision making, accounting, etc.

We established roles and try not to cross into each other’s lanes. Also, Charles has never had a problem with me being CEO and allowing me to fully operate at that capacity (w/o any male egos involved or biblical laws enforced where the wife has to submit to the husband). When we are working together, we treat each other as business partners and not husband and wife. And that has been huge for us.

RRJ: Thank you both for taking the time to share your journey with Christ, and how you’re honoring Him where He has called you to shine. To begin with, how long have you two been followers of Christ?

Essence: Over 30 years.

Charles: 24 years.

RRJ: As owners of Smoothie King, managing your household, and raising two children, your plates are full! What challenges does that bring into your marriage and how does your faith guide you towards practical solutions?

Communication issues seem to come up most. We’re often going in different directions and definitely get our calendars, dates, and activities crossed up from time to time. Of course, prayer for each other is important and a given. But we also have to intentionally stop and “in all our getting, River Region’s Journey

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just know the stories of the Bible, but received revelation knowledge to apply to our everyday life.

RRJ: Has your marriage impacted your faith?

Yes, we grew up in church. We received our foundation in God there. Those values instilled in us early on, remained with us through college years and even now.

RRJ: In our earlier conversation, you touched on your parents and their influence in your lives. How intentional are you about allowing your children to see into your marriage and to learn from you two?

RRJ: What qualities did your spouse possess that made you think he/she was someone special?

VERY! We want our children to see us communicate and even disagree, so they also see how husbands and wives resolve conflict. We want them to see how a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church. Also allow them to see how a family sets core values to live by, how to write a vision for your family, and how to even apologize if/when you’re wrong. We also allow them to see the equality in our relationship.

Charles: I loved Essence’s outgoing spirit (her ability to talk to anyone in any setting was so important for a young Army Officer). She was goal oriented and very determined to reach all of her goals.

RRJ: Finally, since this is our Wedding and Marriage issue, many couples just starting out will be reading this interview.

What’s one piece of advice you two would want to give them?

Essence: Charles made me laugh a lot, however, he was genuine and a good listener. He also acknowledged that he knew I wanted a spouse with a real relationship with Christ and began to demonstrate that he was a man after God’s own heart.

Always tend to the little things, they do matter. Remember, “He who has begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it until the day of Christ’s return” (Philippians 1:6), meaning, stay the course!

Marriage can be tough, but with God your marriage won’t fail. Keep the word of God as the highest and final authority in all you do. So when problems arise (and they do), get a Scripture for you and your spouse to stand in faith together.

RRJ: You both had some participation with the Christian faith early in your lives, but how would you describe the difference between now and those early years?

We started attending True Divine BC the year before we married and our faith, zeal for God’s word, and a closer relationship with Christ increased. We started to not 14

Charles and Essence Phenix are owners of Smoothie King, Montgomery. They have been married 15 years and have two children: Kaitlin (14) and Andrew (11).

They are active members at True Divine Baptist Church.

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February at Frazer is all about relationships.

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Marriage, parenting, family, friendships—relationships are what make life sweet, but they are also what makes us crazy. Throughout the month of February we’ll be exploring the “crazy normal” new way of approaching relationships taught by Jesus Christ. We invite you to join us for worship, and check out our Small Groups for adults and great Children’s and Student Ministries for your kids as well.

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Sunday Worship Schedule: 8, 9:30 and 11am | Traditional and Contemporary Styles | Childcare Available All Hours

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Confident Parenting Conference

Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway

Don’t just parent your kids by circumstance and chance: gain the confidence to be the parent your child needs. Jim Burns of HomeWord ministry offers a comprehensive approach to developing a healthy God-honoring parenting philosophy. Co-sponsored by Frazer and other area churches. Registration link at frazer.church.

Whether your relationship has never been better or you are struggling to connect, you’ll leave Weekend to Remember with practical tools and resources that will set your marriage on the path towards improved communication and deeper intimacy. Presented by FamilyLife Ministries. Registration link at frazer.church.

Friday Feb. 8 7-9pm at Evangel Church on Vaughn Rd Saturday Feb. 9 9-12am at Christ Community Church on Ryan Rd

Feb. 15-17 Renaissance Hotel & Spa in Downtown Montgomery

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With catering, flowers, music, and a myriad of other details to arrange, planning your wedding can be both exhilarating and anxiety provoking. Discover the latest trends and follow these tips to reduce stress and survive the months leading up to your big day.

Your ceremony and reception site Weekday ceremonies are increasing in popularity in the U.S. This is especially true for those who’ve been married before. Off-day weddings can substantially reduce your overall costs. Whatever day you choose, unlimited options are available for your ceremony and reception sites so long as you plan well in advance.

If you belong to a church, you can ask your minister to be your wedding officiant and also inquire about use of the church for your ceremony. If you prefer a more secular ceremony, contact your city hall for a list of judges who perform weddings.

Before you commit to a site or officiant, ask about their rules pertaining to the ceremony and wording of vows. Find out what fees the facility and officiant charge, how many guests may attend, and what decorations are supplied.

When planning your reception, keep in mind facilities often book a year in advance particularly for Saturdays. Choose a reception location near your ceremony with plenty of parking space, an adequate dance floor, and plenty of lighting, outlets, River Region’s Journey

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and power. Also ask about facility restrictions and whether you can use your own caterer, florist, and entertainment.

Dinner Ethnic cuisines have been growing in popularity for receptions, and there are plenty of choices sure to please your wedding party and guests. Traditional Japanese, Indian, Mexican, Middle Eastern, and Italian are all excellent choices.

Before meeting with a caterer, decide the dishes you’d like to serve. When you meet, ask to see photos of the foods.

Don’t rule out a plate dinner either until you discuss the cost. The price difference between that and a buffet is often nominal.

Also, discuss with the caterer how the food will be served and what the servers will wear. Then get a written quote that includes costs of the food, beverages, service, decorating, set up and clean up, and the number of people to be served.

The wedding cake Wedding cakes are more scrumptious than ever with a broader array of fillings and frostings to choose from. The hottest trend is statement cakes. Rather than serving multiple desserts, splurge on one big cake that is a focal point.

Still, many couples are opting for more simple one-tiered cakes, and offering their guests an array of scrumptious deserts to choose from.

Designs that are currently quite popular include cakes decorated with rosettes, metallics, ruffles, monograms, geometric designs, and even painted cakes.

Take photos with you of some of your favorite designs when you meet with your cake maker. Ask to see photos of the baker’s designs as well. Be sure to discuss your budget and the number of guests with the baker. Also, schedule a tasting to determine the combinations you like best and ask if the baker will deliver your cake.

Enter Theme music for wedding receptions has become very popular ranging from ethnic to movie soundtracks. Ballroom dancing is also on the rise as is classic music from a particular genre or era.

A particularly hot trend is performance acts. Performances run from about 20-30 minutes during the set break or with the band performing in the background. Acts range from a choreographed dance show to acrobats to fire dancers.

Don’t forget the music for your wedding ceremony, too.

Before making your selections, check on facility regulations. Also, ask to hear the musicians perform to ensure they’ll meet your expectations. Discuss attire, breaks, and costs including overtime fees.

Finally, on your wedding day, make sure the sound system is adjusted to avoid music that blares or is too low.

Florist Bold colors continue to be a popular choice. But also trending are rich, moody color palettes that set a romantic, emotional tone for the big day.

For bridal bouquets, minimalism is in. A single flower with a nice display of greenery and small bouquets are quite popular.

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Before you meet with your florist, visit the library and flip through floral and garden books. Make a list of your flower preferences as well as your dislikes. Then compile a list of your floral needs. This will include the bridal bouquet, boutonnières, hair flowers, bridesmaid bouquets, corsages, and wedding and reception arrangements. Also, determine the quantity

you’ll need of each.

When you visit your florist, discuss colors and make sure bridesmaids’ bou-

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quets will complement, but not match, their dresses. Ask about substitution policies, freshness guarantees, and the charges for consultations, flowers, decorations, and delivery fees.

Photographers and videographers Photojournalism is quite popular in wedding photography.

So your first step is to decide between traditional posed photographs and candid shots by a photojournalist. You may also want to consider having your special moment captured on video.

Whatever you choose, make sure your contract includes the following: the number of hours for shooting or filming, the number of shots and rolls of film to be taken, package details including the number and sizes of photos, and the costs.

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Also, check with your wedding facility for any restrictions on photography.

Then, a few days before your wedding, send your photographer a list of the wedding party, close family and friends, and specific photos you want taken.

Stationer Many couples today are designing their invitations with computer software.

If this isn’t your thing, don’t worry. You’ll be able to choose among a variety of templates and styles provided by your stationer.

When you visit your stationer, ask to see samples of paper types, invitation styles, and the ink colors available. Make your selection according to the formality of your wedding.

Also, ask if the stationer can print maps and directions and do the folding and inserting. Then decide whether you’ll include your reception details on enclosures or the ceremony invitation and whether to include response cards.

Finally, before placing your order, make sure your guest list is complete.

Also, have both of your families review your order to avoid errors.

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Grooms are also becoming more involved in planning their weddings and choosing their tuxedo or suit. Offer your assistance to your fiancé, but allow him to make the final decision on his attire.

Wedding attire Polka dots are the latest trend in wedding dresses. Features that are especially hot right now include regal capes, large bows, off-the-shoulder necklines and sleeves, body hugging silhouettes, and minimal embellishments.

Your search for a wedding gown is likely to be your most significant journey. It’ll take you to department stores, bridal salons, designer boutiques, consignment shops, seamstresses, trunk shows, and bridal warehouses.

When you try on gowns, make sure you can stretch your arms, sit, and walk comfortably.

The contract for your order should include the store’s alteration policy and cost, delivery date, and gown details including color, fabric, and the designer and style number of the dress.

Don’t forget your veil or hairpiece, shoes, jewelry, purse, gloves, and lingerie, too.

As for bridesmaid’s dresses, these are becoming less of a burden for the bride-to-be. Bridesmaids still wear same color gowns, but current trends allow each

Registry When you register for gifts, don’t forget to take along the groom-to-be. This is now the standard.

If you register in a fine shop, be sure to register at a moderately priced store as well to accommodate all of your guests. Keep out-of-town guests in mind also when choosing where to register.

When the big day arrives

bridesmaid to choose her style. Tea length dresses are particularly popular right now as well as two-piece ensembles.

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As your wedding day draws near, expect the unexpected, and don’t let surprises upset your day. In all the hustle and bustle, remember the most important part of your wedding isn’t the details of the ceremony or celebration, but the commitment you and your fiancé make to each other. Keeping that in mind on your wedding day will ensure you see it as a success!

Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer.

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Grace & Henry Miller Sharing Advice for Before and After Your Wedding Day

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As sa ne When and where were you two married?

What are your fondest memories of your wedding and the days leading up to it?

were able to sit upstairs by ourselves and just take in the day together before it was time for the reception.

We were married at Saint James United Methodist Church on August 18, 2018. Saint James is where we met and sometimes feels more like home to us than our own house! We’ve known each other since we were two and four and grew up running the halls of the Saint James together, barefoot, with our friends. The plan was originally to get married in the Chapel in the Pines outside of the church, but the weather had other plans and we made the move inside. We moved it to the traditional sanctuary which was far too small for our guests, but our amazing wedding planner, Mary Sanders, and coordinator, Aletha Wilson, made what seemed impossible, possible! There were extra chairs everywhere and even people sitting in the choir loft!

One of our closest friends, Shaye, made the sweetest remark, though, about moving the ceremony inside. She said, “It was the most beautiful wedding, not because you were surrounded by flowers and decorations, but because you were, quite literally, surrounded by friends and family that loved you!”

Grace: My favorite part of the wedding was seeing Henry when the doors of the church opened for me to walk down the aisle. I had dreamed about my wedding day forever (as I know we all do!) and I felt and will always feel so overwhelmed and blessed by the fact that the Lord placed the two of us together. If you had told me at a young age that I would marry Henry Miller, I probably would have told you that you were crazy- that there was no way he would ever want to marry me- but the Lord is always good and I would never want to live another day without Henry in it.

Many couples spend the majority of their engagement months planning for the “wedding” with little planning for the actual “marriage”. How did the two of you prepare for marriage so that it could start off on the right foot and grow even better with time?

To prepare our relationship and ourselves for marriage, we went to premarital counseling at Venture Life Coaching with Janeese Spencer. This was an absolutely amazing experience for both of us and prepared us so much more than we could have imagined for the days to come. Janeese has been a mentor in both

Henry: My favorite part of the wedding was our meal together.

Also, we told Mary very early on in the planning that we wanted to be able to have a few moments alone after the ceremony when pictures were finished. This was my favorite part of the day because it was the first thing we did as husband and wife. We River Region’s Journey

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of our lives since we were very young and this was no exception!

For premarital counseling, she does four sessions, which sounds like a lot, but we wished there were more! She catered specifically to our relationship, talked about what problems we might run into based on our personalities and love languages, how to fix those, and generally how to live into a Christcentered marriage. She is so relatable and realistic about the trials as well as the good times that were and are to come.

Something else that we try to be very conscious of are the Christlike examples of marriage all around us. Some have been married for a long time and some, just for a few years. We have so many wonderful examples of Christ-centered marriages that we looked to during our engagement and still look to in our marriage!

Honoring Christ above all else makes our marriage not about us. It really takes a huge weight off of your shoulders to allow Christ to be the focal point of your marriage. When we find ourselves in arguments and disagreements, we find peace knowing the situation is not a “me vs. you” thing. It’s about how we can use this to grow closer to Christ so that our marriage might honor Him more. We and our marriage are obviously not perfect and it gives us something to strive for- to model Christ’s love for the church to each other.

What advice would you give engaged or newly married couples to help them prepare for marriage and to help them grow in oneness after their wedding day?

Premarital counseling is SO transformative for your relationship and marriage! You don’t have to still be engaged to go.

Most problems tend to arise around that six month mark, anyway, and counseling teaches you practical ways to live peacefully together and honor Christ through that. We cannot stress just how much fun and how important this was for us!

Another is to put the phones down- just sit down and be together. After coming home from our busy days, it’s so refreshing to cook dinner together, take the dogs on a walk, or just sit on the couch with some take out and simply be together.

Sometimes talking really isn’t even necessary- just set aside time to simply be together.

Grace is Volunteer Coordinator for SouthernCare New Beacon Hospice and the traditional service worship leader at Saint James UMC. Henry works as a gate operator technician for Bell Road Ornamental Iron.

As you seek to honor Christ above all else, how would you say that focus helps you have a right attitude toward your new spouse?

*Photography by Josh Moates of Kim Box Photography.

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Love is Kind, Not Hurtful February, the love month, has rolled back around once again. The reminders are everywhere you turn. Shopping malls have displays of red, white, and pink colors throughout their stores. Shelves burgeon with selections of lotion, aftershave, perfume, and cologne, many with sensuous names. Jewelry sparkles on counters, and negligees cling to their hangers, waiting for purchase.

Grocery stores use an entire aisle for their collection of Valentine cards and heart-shaped, red candies. The retail industry has signified that love is in the air. The psychology of the sight of these gift possibilities awakens lovers to do a little extra to take their love relationships to the next level.

But to some of you, Valentine trappings are a reminder of the bitter relationship that has entrapped you – the man who once promised to love and cherish you till death has become your worse nightmare.

A friend of mine, Alice (not her real name), met and fell in love with James, (not his real name). According to Alice, James was very tender, sweet, kind, and a great provider, showering her with expensive gifts. The relationship was so romantic she was the envy of many of her family and friends. She shared that about a year into the relationship James turned into a monster, constantly cutting her down with his words, controlling and bickering about everything. He would fly of the handle if she looked at any man twice.

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Alice confessed that she walked on pins and needles around him. James slapped her across the face for the simplest reasons. When she was eight-months pregnant, James beat her to the point she could hardly open her eyes. A doctor friend of James’ had to be brought into the house to examine her, not to see how she was doing, but to make sure the baby was okay.

I asked why she stayed in that type of deadly relationship for those many years. Her answer, like most domestic abuse victims, was that she did not know where else to go. She didn’t want to raise her kids by herself and she also didn’t want to be alone. When an abuser puts their spouse down and blames them for the abuse, the victim believes the lie and accepts the blame. The constant verbal, physical, mental, and emotional abuse crushes a person’s soul. In essence almost all victimized people hunker down feeling fear, worthlessness, and low selfesteem.

God’s Heart Bleeds for the Helpless

In John chapter 8, the Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus who they said was caught in adultery. They reminded Jesus that Moses’ law commanded that such should be stoned. They asked Jesus, “What 22

do you say?” Jesus told them that whoever has never committed sin can be the first to cast a stone. They all walked away, because not one among them could claim they had never sinned.

No one commits adultery by themselves, so where was her partner in crime?

I love how Jesus stood up for the feeble, the defenseless, and the voiceless. He will avenge your plight by His grace. He said to the woman, “Neither do I condemn you but go and sin no more.” How awesome Jesus is! He came to lift the lowly status of all women everywhere. He’s the real deal, the ultimate lover!

Husbands are required to love and cherish their wives just as Christ also gave Himself to His bride (the church), so as to perfect her. Jesus paid the ultimate price through His death on the cross in order to perfect His bride. Husbands need to consider their sacrifice for their wives if they are to imitate Jesus.

God, the author of love, gave us the definition of love, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things,” (1Corinthians 13:4-7).

He said love is kind: what is kind cannot be mean and ugly at the same time.

Love does not hurt! James was telling Alice “love hurts.” If your spouse’s love is breaking your jaw and giving you a black eye, seek help before he kills you in the name of love.

I have to say God hates divorce! That fact must be clear. But He also hates abuse and victimization of others, and that is also very clear. If you are in an abusive relationship you must quickly seek help and refuse to become anybody’s punching bag. Stop the hurting!

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No one knew it, but I felt like a failure.

God was blessing our ministry and marriage. People seemed to like us. And we certainly liked each other.

We both had a growing relationship with Christ, but my wife and I didn’t read the Bible or pray together.

Jesus was — and is — everything to us, but we couldn’t seem to freely share his work in us with each other.

The questions kept nagging me.

What’s wrong with me?

What’s wrong with us?

It’s supposed to be easier than this, isn’t it?

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Can you identify? Maybe you want to pray or read the Bible more with your husband, but he resists. Perhaps you wish you could share your deepest struggles and passions with your wife, but she doesn’t really want to go there. Or maybe you feel like some kind of invisible wall divides you.

Without true spiritual intimacy, our marriages will flounder. I know firsthand how challenging it can be to intentionally pursue spiritual intimacy with your spouse, but God designed our marriages to deepen our joy in him as we dig into the goodness of the gospel with our most precious partner.

Yearn for Oneness Some of us experienced difficult family dynamics growing up, and we don’t observe many spiritually intimate marriages.

Even if we do come across a model couple, there is no one-sizefits-all approach to spiritual intimacy. Growing children and growing responsibilities can sap our energy. Social media creates unrealistic expectations of marital bliss. And our “adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion,” ready to deaden and devour our marriages (1 Peter 5:8).

We bring our own pathology too. After the first husband and wife fell for Satan’s lies, they experienced a lethal disruption in their intimacy. They hid their bodies from each other (Genesis 3:7), and Adam abdicated his responsibility — both to God and to Eve. “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate” (Genesis 3:12).

Oddly, there is a world of hope here. If you find it difficult to consistently connect spiritually with your spouse, you’re completely normal. You’re yearning for the oneness God created us for, but our broken, fallen world won’t fully allow it.

So, how can we begin to move our marriages toward the intimacy God designed them for?

Marriage Pictures the Gospel Ephesians 5:31 reiterates that, from the beginning, God made husbands and wives to be one. Paul quotes from Genesis 2:24, the time of the first marriage, to illustrate God’s good design across the ages: “A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Then he lets us know what our marriages are really all about: reflecting Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32). God wants our unions to be a living, breathing reflection of the gospel. To the degree that we are spiritually intimate, we will experience and testify about God’s love for us in Christ to a watching world.

But too often, spiritual intimacy does not characterize our experience. The fleeting closeness, joy, and fun we had in a new relationship fade with the honeymoon. Or if we do taste the intimacy we desire, it often comes in unpredictable fits and starts.

1. Keep an open heart.

When we don’t experience the spiritual closeness we hope for, it’s all too easy to close off our hearts and shut down. Instead, acknowledge the hurt, and cry out to God with your disappointment: With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. (Psalm 142:1–2).

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Even if your spouse doesn’t change, you will remain soft and open to Christ.

5. Choose something to do together.

Spiritual intimacy is far more than a list of to-dos like reading the Bible or praying together, but our marriages will only thrive when we hear God’s voice and have his hear together. Make a plan to pursue God together that you’re both comfortable with and get started.

2. Pursue Jesus more than your marriage.

Even a great marriage is “loss” in comparison with “the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus [our] Lord” (Philippians 3:8). When we treasure Jesus above our spouse, we become the sort of person our spouse will want to draw close to. As John Piper has said, If your marriage is going to make God look glorious, then you must find more satisfaction in God than in your marriage.

6. Be patient and persistent.

We should expect some failures and setbacks. My wife and I have restarted an audio course on the gospel three times as we struggle with old fears and a full schedule. But there’s always hope for a new beginning because God’s mercies and faithfulness for your marriage truly “never come to an end” (Lamentations 3:22–23).

3. Replace things that kill spiritual intimacy.

We all have attitudes and habits that get in the way of intimacy. For example, I tend to get stressed and power through interruptions without asking God if they’re actually from him.

This makes my wife want to run. Paul calls us to put off destructive patterns like this and put on new ones that reflect who we are in Christ (Ephesians 4:22–24). So, I’m learning to ask God for help to stay open to what he’s doing. As I consciously depend on God, it helps my wife and me avoid conflict and draw closer.

Press on to Know Him More In the end, there’s no magic formula to develop genuine spiritual intimacy in your marriage. It’s going to require an investment of time and energy that you might not feel like you have.

But a spiritually intimate marriage is worth more than whatever small sacrifices you might have to make to get there.

Your wife is worth the extra effort. Your husband is worth the extra effort. Deepening your joy in Jesus together is worth anything.

4. Intentionally share your weaknesses.

Pride tempts us to hide our struggles. But when we really believe that God “saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy” (Titus 3:5), letting our spouse in on a failure becomes natural and fosters spiritual closeness.

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Bryan Stoudt (@bryanstoudt) is a pastor to healthcare students and professionals (with CMDA), a life coach, and a writer. After Jesus, his passions include his beautiful wife, Sharon, their four children, coffee, and running. He writes at bryanstoudt. com, where he offers a free course on preparing couples for marriage. *Article reprinted with permission from desiringgod.com.

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Some people get married too soon. After love at first sight and a whirlwind romance, they quickly plan a wedding, exchange rings, and settle into a marriage that soon turns sour.

So much pain can be avoided by working through issues before that wedding day. While courtship and engagement is, of course, the time to plan a wedding, it is also the time to plan a marriage. Here, drawn from the work of Jim Newheiser, is a list of issues to work through before you get married.

of parenting, working, temper, and much else. In short, is this person displaying mature and maturing Christian character?

Are you both in love with the gospel, and is it impacting your lives? This is, of course, the most foun-

Do you have compatible life goals? Do you and

dational question of all. Are you a Christian? And is your future spouse a Christian? Are you both confessing your sins before God and one another? Are you both extending and receiving forgiveness? Do not marry anyone until you are convinced he or she is a Christian; do not marry a Christian until you are convinced that you, too, are a believer.

your future spouse have similar goals for the future? Are you both committed to foreign missions, for example, or just one of you? Are you both eager to begin a family, or just one? Do you know how many children you each want to have and when you’d like to begin having them? How about the type and level of your commitment to the local church? Do not assume that you both have the same or even similar life goals. Talk!

Do you respect each other’s character? Having been convinced that your future spouse is a believer, are you also able to respect their character? Does that person have the kind of character that will be a blessing to you throughout your marriage?

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How do you function together in group settings?

While much of married life will be lived in relative isolation, much will also be lived in community. For this reason it is 28

important to consider how your future spouse behaves in public and how the two of you behave together. How do the two of you work together in public? Are you both meeting people and making friends? Is one of you content to be alone and isolated? Does your future spouse have close friendships or have many of his or her former friends become isolated?

changed. While that may be the case, old patterns die hard. While you of course hope that God will continue that work of grace, the fact is there may not be as much change as you’d like. Don’t expect that your spouse will some day be a completely different (and better) person.

Have you been able to work through the past? It

always pursue marriage for the best of reasons. Sometimes the reasons go no deeper than physical attraction. Sometimes it’s an inordinate desire for companionship. Sometimes it’s that they are feeling guilt for sexual involvement. No matter the case, couples must be clear on why they want to marry one another. Be sure to prioritize godly character over looks, friendship, and everything else!

Why do you want to marry each other? Couples don’t

is rare that a couple enters marriage without a romantic and sexual history (with one another or with others) and these issues can be very difficult to discuss resolve. They can put an immense weight on a young marriage. Have you spoken to your future spouse about their sexual history in sufficient detail that you know enough? Have you asked and extended forgiveness for whatever sexual history you have accumulated? Also, is your future spouse chaste now or content to look at pornography and masturbate? Be sure to work through issues of sexuality.

What are your expectations of marriage? You’ve probably heard it said that a woman gets married expecting that her husband will change while a man gets married expecting that his wife will never change. The fact is, in some ways both partners will change and in some ways they probably will not. Are you prepared to stick it out for the long-haul with your future spouse as he or she is now? Are you willing to endure all kinds of trials with that person by your side?

Are you able to be honest with each other about sins and faults? By the time you are engaged, the “best foot forward” stage of dating has passed and you have learned many of the flaws and foibles of your future bride or groom. The stress of engagement and marriage planning will all but guarantee you will have a couple of good fights, and these will give you the opportunity to see if and how you can resolve them. Is he or she quick to forgive? Quick to ask forgiveness? Long to hold onto sins? Is that person beginning to be like Christ in forgiving those who sin against him or her?

How well do you know each other and yourself?

Can you love and accept each other as you are?

A little pre-marriage counseling and planning can go a long way.

Before you marry, ensure your pastor or a godly older couple has spent some time with you, whether formally or informally. Talk through these issues and any others that come to mind. A little knowledge can go a long way.

Some people enter marriage with the idea that their spouse is a project and that a little TLC will be all that person needs to be

Tim Challies is a pastor, author and blogger. These 10 issues are drawn from Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage by Jim Newheiser.

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Top 10 Topics of 2018 I want to review what I call the Top 10 Topics of 2018, including stories impacting the Christian community, which have been highlighted on a weekly blog post and/or in conversations with a variety of guests on The Meeting House on Faith Radio.

Republican seats in the U.S. Senate, which has definite implications for the appointment of more conservative, pro-life judges to the Federal bench. Two states - Alabama and West Virginia - passed pro-life amendments to their State Constitutions.

10. Military transgender policy developments Last year, the U.S. military made attempts to arrive on a policy governing transgender individuals serving in the Armed Forces. The President had adopted the policy, but Federal district courts had blocked it from going into effect, prompting action by the Department of Justice to appeal directly to the U.S. Supreme Court.

9. California bill affecting counseling to overcome same-sex attraction pulled It appeared that a bill in California which could have resulted in the banning of counseling for people seeking to overcome unwanted same-sex attraction and selling resources to that end was on its way to passage. At the last minute, the Assembly sponsor of the bill removed it from consideration.

6. Christians on campuses experience religious liberty suppression Throughout the year, there were stories of students and faculty who found that their rights to express themselves consistent with their deeply-held religious beliefs were coming under fire. Some examples: Isabella Chow of the University of California at Berkeley, a student senator, found that her position on a particular vote in the student government, a vote rooted in her Biblical view of sexuality, yielded strong opposition, and, The organization InterVarsity at Knox College in Illinois faced removal from campus because of its views on sexuality.

8. Christians continue to be censored on Internet, NRB fights back Christians, as well as conservatives posting comments consistent with a Christian perspective, faced further incidences of censorship. At the National Religious Broadcasters Convention in Nashville, the organization announced the formation of Internet Freedom Watch, designed to call attention to such instances; NRB warned tech companies about its intent to call for government hearings if changes did not occur.

7. Election 2018: pro-life voters make statement One of the chief stories out of the 2018 mid-term elections was the shift of leadership in the U.S. House from Republican to Democrat. Also notable was the addition of River Region’s Journey

February 2019

5. LGBT agenda infiltrates the Church The attempt to redefine the Biblical perspective on homosexuality and other gender issues continued to proliferate within the evangelical church. One example was the ReVoice conference, which catered to celibate gay individuals who want to continue to identify as gay.

4. Christian leaders engage in debate over social justice The topic of justice has become a hotbutton issue among Christian leaders, and a group of influencers decided there should be an effort to define such matters Biblically; they crafted, and over 10,000 people signed, the Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel.

3. Persecuted Christians Asia Bibi and Andrew Brunson released Two high-profile individuals who had been persecuted for their Christian faith were 30

released. One was Pakistani woman Asia Bibi, who was facing a death sentence under the country’s draconian blasphemy laws and was released by the country’s high court. An American pastor, Andrew Brunson, who had been imprisoned in Turkey on terrorism charges, was released in the aftermath of pressure from U.S. government officials.

2. Trump Administration continues to show support for religious freedom Last year, on the National Day of Prayer, at the White House, the President announced more Federal action designed to reinforce religious freedom rights, a follow-up to an executive order issued at a 2017 NDP event.

Also, the Justice Department announced the formation of a Religious Liberty Task Force.

Plus, the State Department held a religious freedom conference. President Trump signed a bill that protected religious freedom for persecuted minorities, including Christians, in Iraq and Syria.

1. High court issues Masterpiece Cakeshop decision It was apparent in the 2016 election that the prospect of U.S. Supreme Court judges who would rule consistent with a Biblical perspective, holding to pro-life and proreligious freedom concepts, was a motivating factor for many Christians.

Jack Phillips, the owner of Colorado’s Masterpiece Cakeshop, had declined to provide a cake for a ceremony celebrating gay marriage; he was disciplined by a state civil rights body and penalized by a state appeals court, a ruling the state supreme court allowed to stand. He then appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, which ruled in his favor.

In considering last year’s top stories, we can see how these issues will continue to have an effect in 2019. We will continue to see matters of life, sexuality, and religious freedom make a dramatic impact on American life and the Christian community.

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February 2019

River Region’s Journey

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Adoption Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy and First UMC, Millbrook APAC, Alabama Pre/ Post Adoption Connection Support Group: This group provides education and social interaction for adoptive families. Meets 3rd Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m., Room 8114 at Frazer. For more information call Jill Sexton at 409-9477.

Alcoholic / Addiction

Location: Caring Center of FBC, 52 Adams Avenue CrossRoads Support Group is for addicts/alcoholics and family members. Meets at 6 p.m. Tuesdays and follows a Christ-centered 12-step program. Call 264-4949.

Location: Dalraida UMC, 3817 Atlanta Highway Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 6 p.m. on Tuesdays.

272.2190. Alanon meets at 7:30 p.m. on Wednesdays.

River Region’s Journey

February 2019

Location: Grace Presbyterian Church, Corner of Bell Road and Atlanta Hwy. Alcoholics Anonymous and Alanon meetings are held Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, at 6 p.m. An Open AA Speaker meeting is held on Saturday at 6 p.m. An Alanon & AA held on Sundays at 2 p.m.

Location: Grace Point Community Church, 78223 Tallassee Hwy (Hwy 14), Wetumpka Celebrate Recovery- every Tuesday night- 6:15pm.

All are welcome! These meetings are a safe and loving environment for individuals seeking to conquer their hurts, habits and hang-ups! gracepoint.info.

Location: Heritage Baptist Church 1849 Perry Hill Rd, Montgomery, AL Route1520 is a Christ-centered recovery movement dedicated to showing the way home for men impacted by sex and pornography addiction.

Meets: Mondays, 6:30 – 8:00 PM CST. No Childcare Provided. Email montgomery@route1520.com, visit http://www.route1520.com/men/groups-for-men/ or call 877.200.1520 for more information.

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Location: Journey Church, 435 Sheila Blvd, Prattville Celebrate Recovery - Christcentered 12-step for anyone struggling with addiction or life-challenging issues. Mondays beginning at 6:15 pm. Childcare available. Call John Pearse at 303-243-4308 or visit myjourneychurch.com.

Location: Landmark Church, 1800 Halcyon Blvd.

RSVP- This is a 12 step spiritual recovery program for overcoming addictions. Using the steps and Bible we help build self-esteem, responsible behavior, the making of amends for our destructive actions, and to fill the void in our hearts in a loving relationship with God. Wednesday @ 6:30pm in Rm. 121 of the Life Center.

Location: Prattville Church of Christ, 344 E Main St. CASA - 12 step (Christians Against Substance Abuse) spiritual recovery program, for overcoming

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addictions. Class begins each Wednesday evening @6:30 PM. Please call 334-365-4201 for additional information.

Location: St. James UMC, 9045 Vaughn Road Celebrate Recovery meets every Thursday night from 6-8 pm in the Youth Room. This is a Christ-centered 12-step group for anyone struggling with an “addiction or life-challenging issues.” For information, call Chris Henderson at 334-215-0427.

Location: First United Methodist Church, Wetumpka 306 W. Tuskeena Street ‘Fresh Start’ Recovery meets every Thursday, 6-8pm (meal included). In 2011, Fresh Start Motorcycle Ministry (FSMM) began when God laid it on the heart of a lifetime biker to minister to those with his background. All are welcome, not a requirement to own/ride a motorcycle. For any information contact ministry leader, Paul Henderson, 334-201-5428.

Alzheimer’s / Dementia

Location: First UMC, 2416 W. Cloverdale Park, An Adult Parkinson/Alzheimer’s respite ministry meets from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Lunch is served. Contact Daphne at 834-8990.

have anyone (patient or family member ) join us.

Thursdays at 1 pm. Please call before attending just to make sure we are meeting that week. Please call Debbie D at 467-4578 or Ben W at 202-1912.

Location: ChristChurch, 8800 Vaughn Road Cancer Support Group for general cancer. Tuesday afternoons at 1 pm. For more info, please call Christy Holding at 531-1390 or Debbie at 467-4578.

Location: Frazer UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy. Central Alabama Multiple Myeloma Support Group meets from 10 a.m. to noon the second Saturday of every month in Room 3105. We have guest speakers, video presentations, printed information and a group that welcomes sharing their journey with myeloma in an informal setting. Refreshments are provided. Contact Joe Crowley at 334-207-4385 or jpcrowl46@ yahoo.com Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy. Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy. Women of Hope Breast Cancer Support Group, providing education, awareness, and mentoring for breast cancer patients/survivors, family and friends, meets the 2nd Tuesday of each month at 5:30 p.m. in Room 8114. Call 220-4599 or e-mail womenofhope@charter.net

Divorce

Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy An Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers’ Support Group meets on the first Thursday of each month at 10:30 a.m. in Room 3103. Call 495-6350 for more information.

Location: First Baptist Church, 305 S. Perry Street Divorce Care Wednesday nights @6:30-8:00 pm in Room 405B. Child care is avail-

Cancer

Location: Aldersgate UMC, 6610 Vaughn Rd Cancer Survivors Support Group is sponsored by Samaritan Counseling Center. We would love to

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able. Contact Kathy Cooper at 241-5125 for further information.

Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy Divorce Care meets each Tuesday from 6 – 7:30 p.m.

Come to the Library area. This group will provide support & guidance to assist you in working through the issues, pain & pressures surrounding divorce.

Also, Divorce for Kids is available. Call 495-6350 or e-mail jan@frazerumc.org.

Location: Vaughn Forest Church, 8660 Vaughn Road DivorceCare fosters a weekly supportive and caring environment to heal the hurt of separation and divorce. Call 279-5433.

Gambling Location: Cedarwood Community Church, 10286 US HWY 231 in the Wallsboro/Wetumpka community. The church is 1 1/2 miles past Tutweiler prison.

Gamblers Anonymous, Saturdays at 6 pm. and Mondays at 6:30 pm. Call 567-0476.

Location: Mental Health of America, 1116 South Hull Street, Montgomery. Sundays @ 5 pm.

For more information about the GA meetings call 334399-6918. For information about counseling services or to request a guest speaker please call the Alabama Council on Compulsive Gambling at 334-277-5100.

February 2019

River Region’s Journey

Grief

Location: Cornerstone Christian Church, 301 Dalraida Road River Region Survivors of Suicide meets on the second and fourth Thursday of every month (excluding holidays) from 6:30-8:00 PM. This is an open group for those who have lost a loved one to suicide and welcomes anyone regardless of their religious beliefs. Contact Cheryl Vinson at riverregionsos@gmail.com with questions or for more information.

Location: Eastmont Baptist, 4505 Atlanta Hwy. Compassionate Friends is a national self-help support organization for families grieving the death of a child meeting first Tuesdays at 7 pm. Call (334) 284-2721 for info.

Location: First UMC, 100 E. Fourth St, Prattville Grief Share, Wednesday evenings at 6 pm in the church parlor. Led by Michael Beatty. Call 365-5977.

Location: Frazer UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy Grief Recovery Support Group meets Tuesdays at 5:30 p.m., Rm 3105. Call 495-6350 for more info.

Location: Grace Baptist Church, 304 Old Montgomery Highway, Wetumpka Mourning to Morning is a Christian growth group for mothers who have lost a child, from before birth through adulthood. Meets the last Thursday night of each month. For info, contact Alice Scarborough (334) 462-4775 or Gwen Ellis (334) 567-8754 or e-mail mourningtomorning@gmail.com. Join us on Facebook.

Location: Millbrook FUMC, 3350 Edgewood Rd Grief Share meets Sundays from 5-7 p.m. For more information or to sign up, please call the church office at 285-4114 or email churchoffice@mfumc.org.

Location: Pilgrim Rest Missionary Baptist Church 1550 E. Washington Street Grief support group meets every Monday at 6:00 P.M7:00 P.M. For additional information, please contact Alice Glover at (334)281-2754.

Mental Health

Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy NAMI Montgomery (National Alliance on Mental Illness) meets 2nd Monday of each month from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. in Room 7205. Group provides understanding, education, & information to family members & friends of those who suffer mental illness.

Call Pat Cobb at 334-451-0207 for more info. NAMI Connection (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Support group for individuals with mental illness.

Meets every 2nd and 4th Thursday, 6:30-7:30 p.m., Room 3103. Call Pat Cobb at 334-451-0207 for more info.

Parenting

Location: First Baptist Prat-

tville, 138 S. Washington Moms LIFE (Living In Faith Everyday) meets twice monthly from 8:30 - 11:45 am in the chapel at the Church from Aug - May. We offer a time of fellowship, Bible study, musical guest,

special guest speakers and a lot of fun!! Cost is $5 per meeting. For moms of all stages and ages of life.

Childcare provided by reservation. Call April Scott at 828-446-6666.

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Location: First Baptist Church, 305 S. Perry Street MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is a place you can share a good meal, make new friends, and find encouragement as you face the everyday challenges of raising your little ones. We have educational speakers, great conversation, and fun activities. Free childcare is provided. Meetings are every 2nd and 4th Tuesdays, 9:30-11:30 a.m., September through May. Contact Tiffany Alewine at 241-5165.

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Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy Frazer mom2mom is a playgroup to connect mothers of ages birth to 5 at Frazer UMC to share fun and inspiration in our journey together, with our children, and with Christ. Email Mom2mom@frazerumc.org for more information.

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Location: Landmark Church, 1800 Halcyon Blvd.

Single Moms Support Group, Wednesday nights at 6:30 p.m. in classroom 118. For information call 277-5800.

Location: Perry Hill UMC, 910 Perry Hill Road Single Moms’ Care and Support Group meets 2nd and 4th Thursdays from 6:15 - 8:00 PM. December meeting will be on the 11th. Free snack supper provided to moms and children. Child care for infants -16 years. Call 272-3174.

Location: Redland Baptist, 1266 Dozier Rd, Wetumpka A MOPS group will be held 1st and 3rd Tuesday’s of every month during the school year, and has scheduled play dates and moms nights out through the summer

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and beyond. While moms are in a MOPS meeting, their children are lovingly cared for in the MOPPETS program. Email Denise Braswell at deniseorscott@ yahoo.com.

Location: St.James UMC, 9045 Vauhgn Road Moms in Prayer International: This is a Christ centered interdenominational prayer ministry made up of moms, grandmothers, aunts or any woman who wants to gathers to pray for their children and schools.

Meets every Sunday afternoon from 3:00-4:00. Call Annette Jones for more information on joining us or training to start your own group. 850-529-4730 or email Montgomerymipac@gmail.com Location: Vaughn Forest Church, 8660 Vaughn Road Are you in need of a time-out? MOPS joins mothers together by a common bond, to be better wives, moms, and friends along this journey in the trenches of motherhood. We meet the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month from 9:30—11:30 a.m. Childcare is provided. For info e-mail VFCMOPS@gmail.com.

Physical Challenges

Location: Aldersgate UMC, 6610 Vaughn Road Visually Impaired Support Group – Meets monthly on second Thursday 1:00 – 2:30 p.m. The group is called Outward Sight - Inward Vision and is for those with vision loss and their caregivers. Our mission is to assist those experiencing vision loss to maintain their independence. Call 272-6152.

Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy. Parkinson’s Support meets 4th Thursdays at 6 pm in Room 8114. Call 495-6350 for more info.

Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy. Ostomy Support meets every other month on the 2nd Sunday at 1:30 p.m. in room 3101. In 2018: Feb., April, June, Aug., Oct., Dec. Call 495-6350 for more info.

Location: Vaughn Park Church, 3800 Vaughn Rd. Montgomery Area Down Syndrome Outreach Group meets 2nd Friday of each month from 6:30- 8 PM. We have activities, speakers and special events throughout the year for the parents, siblings and children with Down Syndrome. Childcare is provided. Please visit www.montgomeryareadownsyndrome.com or our Facebook page (MADSOG) for information. Please contact MADSOG at montgomeryareadownsyndrome@gmail.com.

Same Sex Attraction

Location: : Young Meadows Presbyterian Church, 5780 Vaughn Road, Montgomery Upstream Support Group for those dealing with unwanted same sex attraction and family members or loved ones of those who are gay identified.

The group meets at 6:30 pm every first, third and fifth Tuesday evenings. For more information call 334.244.1385.

Send support group info to deanne@readjourneymagazine.com 35

February 2019

River Region’s Journey

You Need Words, Not Actions My husband and I have about $20,000 in credit card debt, plus payments on a new truck. We also have a camper he bought before we got married that we’re still making payments on. I recently received a $50,000 inheritance, and I’d like to use that money to help get us out of debt and open a savings account. My husband says he is onboard, but he keeps buying things we don’t have the money for.

What can I do?

Q.

A. I want you guys to get control of your finances and have a better life, too. But until your husband is willing to get rid of the camper and the truck, I’d hang on to the inheritance money.

Right now, you need more than his words—you need his actions. At this point, the real issue isn’t the debt or the idea of using the gift you received to pay off the

River Region’s Journey

February 2019

debt. The issue is you can’t see a future where your husband isn’t going to repeat the same financial stupidity. You need to have that future cleared up, and it isn’t going to be cleared up until he proves he has changed his heart and his ways. In his case, that means showing he has become a grown-up and isn’t buying toys he can’t afford anymore.

I know where you are, and I know where he is right now. I’ve been there. Years ago, I was a “grown man” but I was still really a little boy buying things I couldn’t afford to impress people I didn’t even know. This guy likes stuff.

It’s time he start putting you and your family first. Keep talking to him. Explain how important it is to you that you’re both on same page financially and in every other aspect of your marriage. Until he proves he’s ready to do that, though, I’d say just hold on to the inheritance money.

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Changing jobs and retirement savings Q. What happens to my Roth 401(k) when I change jobs and go to a company that doesn’t offer this type of investment savings account? How should I proceed?

A. Anytime you leave one company for another, you should always roll your 401(k) from your former employer into an IRA (Individual Retirement Account). If it’s a traditional IRA, you roll it to a traditional IRA. If it’s a Roth IRA, you roll it to a Roth IRA. You would choose your own mutual funds, and you would manage your own accounts, with the help of a financial advisor of your choosing.

When it comes to choosing a financial advisor, my advice is to find someone with the heart of a teacher. A good financial advisor will help you make informed decisions about your money, and they will explain all aspects of your investments until you fully understand everything. Also, look for someone with the ability to assess your overall retirement picture.

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