Keeping Jewish - August 2022

BS”D

Tradition, Inspiration and Celebration · August 2022 - Av 5782

Published by Chabad Tucson

The road of life Spiritual lessons learned driving cross-country

Welcome to town At 87, Alan Simmonds begins a new chapter

Taste of the summer Fresh corn salad with BBQ tortilla chips

Day of love Things to do on the holiday of Tu B’Av

Dr. Jack Rosoff traveled from Arizona to offer hope and aid in war-torn Ukraine

Keeping Jewish | August 2022 |

OPINION The Jewish outreach and education network of Southern Arizona 2443 E 4th Street, Tucson, AZ 85719 EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

Rabbi Yossie Shemtov REBBETZIN

Chanie Shemtov OUTREACH DIRECTOR

Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin PROGRAM DIRECTOR

Feigie Ceitlin Affiliates: Cong. Young Israel, Chabad at the University of Arizona, Chabad on River, Chabad of Oro Valley, Chabad of Sierra Vista, Chabad Jewish Center of Vail and Lamplighter Chabad Day School of Tucson

EDITOR

Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin COPY EDITOR

Suzanne Cummins

6 spiritual lessons I’ve learned on the road

By Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin Our family took a cross-country trip this summer, passing through 17 states. Over the course of many long hours on the road, I noticed that much of what we experience on the interstate is very reminiscent of our spiritual experiences in life.

Here are six lessons I took: 1. There’s a lane for everyone.

Whether you’re hustling at 80 in Texas or cruising along at 65 in Louisiana, there’s a lane for you. Car in front of you going too slow? Change lanes and pass them. Cars catching up to you? Move over to the right lane. Don’t feel like you have to go faster because others are.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Feigie Ceitlin, Rivkah Katz, Menachem Posner, Lieba Rudolph, Rosally Saltsman, Mordechai Schmutter, Sofya Sara Esther Tamarkin, Benjamin Weiss PHOTOS

SPECIAL THANKS

That is the meaning of the verse in Proverbs (3:6), “In all of your ways acknowledge Him.” The route of spirituality can be taken at different lanes and speeds. As long as you are headed in the right direction, drive at your own pace.

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2. Embrace the journey.

We had destinations in mind during our trip — such as attending a wedding in Florida and spending a special Shabbat in New York. But we realized that we would be passing most of the time together in the vehicle so we prepared for that — mentally and practically.

The Torah reading detailing the encampments of Israelites in the desert following the Exodus is titled “Journeys.” The Rebbe explained (Likkutei Sichos 23, page 244) that while life has a destination, it is best viewed as a journey. So embrace it.

3. Not everything is within your control.

Note: “G-d” and “L-rd” are written with a hyphen instead of an We used a navigation app for real-time dri“o .”This is one way we accord reverence to the sacred divine name. This also reminds us that, even as we seek G-d, He ving directions based on live traffic updates. But several things weren’t foreseeable transcends any human effort to describe His reality.

2 | August 2022 | Keeping Jewish

T Rabbi Yehuda and Feigie Ceitlin and their family, June 2022

in advance, such as extreme rain in South Carolina or increased traffic leaving Washington, DC.

themselves better-than-average drivers, despite the fact that 90% of crashes result from human error.

Some things are beyond our power, so do your best to prepare and allow G-d to implement His plans for your journey. As the Torah says about the travels of the Jews in the desert, “At the bidding of the Lord, they traveled, and at the bidding of the Lord, they encamped” (Numbers 9:18).

Our sages taught that no person — not even the righteous and scholarly — is immune from transgression (Ketubot 13:2). That is why Jewish law adds safeguarding measures to keep us away from human blunders.

4. You are the traffic.

A billboard once said, “You aren’t stuck in traffic — you are traffic.” It’s easy to blame others when we are stopped in our tracks.

But we need to consider that when we chose the route, we created part of the problem.

Following any opinion without more consideration of nuance and risk can turn out to be a mistaken idea.

The same is true in life. Tanya (chapter 29) explains that our own worst enemy can be from within, and what’s holding us back from progressing is often listening to incorrect internal voices and beliefs. Being aware of that can help us overcome those limitations.

5. We overestimate our abilities.

On the road, drivers seem confident in their abilities and skills. In fact, a study by AAA showed that 73% of US drivers consider

6. Everyone needs to fuel up However smooth your ride may be going, there are times that you must make a stop.

The vehicle requires more gas (or a charge in the case of an electric car), passengers need the restroom and the driver needs yet another cup of coffee — or a nap. Not stopping for these isn’t an option.

The Spanish philosopher and poet Rabbi Yehuda Halevi said the same about our need for spiritual connectivity: every so often, we need to fuel our souls. “Prayer is for the soul what nourishment is for the body,” he writes (Kuzari 3:5). “The blessing of one prayer lasts till the time of the next, just as the strength derived from the morning meal lasts until dinner.”

Wishing you a bon voyage on the journey of life.

- Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin is the Outreach Director of Chabad Tucson

‫ב"ה‬

NEWS

Tucson community Israel trip planned for 2023 Cathy Olswing, former president of the Desert-Mountain Region of Hadassah, the Women’s Zionist Organization of America, has been on five organized trips to Israel.

She took the most recent tour with her husband Brian this past March, crisscrossing the north and south and many places in between.

When she heard about the community trip that Chabad Tucson is planning for next spring, March 13-20, 2023, she was quick to express interest. “I always look forward to going again,” she says. “There is always something new to see, learn, and experience.”

But there’s an added benefit that led her to sign up. The trip is titled as the “Land and Spirit -the JLI Israel Experience.” It is being organized through the acclaimed Rohr Jewish Learning Institute and will include many unique and luxury features that aren’t typically found on community trips.

Olswing said that since JLI brings many community groups to the land, it gives them “buying power” to offer five-star amenities.

Among them are first-class accommodations at luxurious hotels, five-star gourmet meals, and “the very best Israel has to offer in education and entertainment.”

The Tucson group will be led by Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin, Outreach Director of Chabad Tucson. The itinerary will include visits to key historical sites, which will provide a

rich panoramic overview of the history, culture, and spiritual significance of the Holy Land.

But there will also be a focus on modernday Israel. The group will be addressed by Israel’s military brass, as well as political and business leaders offering an insider’s view of Israel’s challenges and success stories.

It will also serve as a Mission of Solidarity with participants traveling to the front lines of Israel’s fight for survival. The trip will be highlighted by a visit to the beleaguered community of Hebron and an intimate barbecue with Israel Defense Force soldiers and officers.

“I am excited about these incredible opportunities,” Olswing said. “The speakers JLI will bring to us, the sites that will be open to us, the experiences of the land, the people, the food and the feelings. All of this is going to make for a remarkable trip to our homeland unlike any we have had so far.”

The Olswings will be hosting a parlor meeting with Rabbi Ceitlin on Thursday, August 4, for those interested in learning more about the trip. Participation is open to the community with no commitment to sign up.

To attend, email: info@ChabadTucson.com To learn more about the trip, visit ChabadTucson.com/israel2023

Join Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin and Tucson friends on a memorable community trip to the Holy Land of Israel

MARCH 13-20, 2023 For more information, contact 520-955-9680 or info@ChabadTucson.com

Experience the land, discover its soul.

LANDANDSPIRIT.ORG

Keeping Jewish | August 2022 | 3

PROFILE

Arizona doctor finds faith and hope amid war-torn Ukraine

By Rivkah Katz Until May 8, 2022, Dr. Jack Rosoff could be found in the whirlwind and chaos of the emergency department of Copper Queen Community Hospital in Bisbee, Arizona.

There he served as an ER doctor, tending to wounds, injuries, and whatever else came through the doors.

Born in New York and raised in Portland, Oregon, Rosoff pursued medical school and graduated from the University of Vermont College in 1985, specializing in emergency medicine. Though he has lived in different Arizona locations for the last 15 years, he worked and lived in Bisbee, the free-spirited former mining town Bisbee, on the border of Mexico.

However, on May 8, Rosoff boarded a flight to Poland, heading eastward toward wartorn Ukraine. “A doctor is a warrior,” explains Rosoff. To him, plunging into the heart

4 | August 2022 | Keeping Jewish

of a terror-stricken country to aid injured and heart-broken people is in his blood. “I was hearing about the war, the anger, and the hurt, and I knew I had to go and see how I might help.”

Before leaving, Rosoff contacted Chabad Tucson to gather information and contact numbers in Ukraine. Chabad rabbis there played a leading role in protecting civilians and ushering them to safety in the wake of Russia’s invasion on February 24, 2022. The war caused Europe’s largest refugee crisis since World War II, with more than 9.6 million Ukrainians fleeing the country and a third of the population displaced.

“At the beginning of the war, many civilians fled to Poland,” Rosoff explains. “The hospitals were bursting at their seams, seeing over 100 patients an hour.”

Rosoff ’s medical mission first took him to Lviv, the tourist cultural city bordering Poland and Ukraine once known as Lemberg. Speaking to physicians and civilians, he adapted the purpose of his trip. Rosoff learned that each town required different efforts and aid, depending on how deeply affected it was by the Russian attacks.

“What I’ve done is a little of something, everywhere,” he said about utilizing different avenues to help Ukrainians build themselves up and receive funding for various needs. Rosoff ’s days are filled with charitable deeds, booking plane tickets to Sweden to help individuals overwhelmed by the turmoil, caring for children in orphanages - even gifting a motorcycle to a stranded battalion leader.

On his eastward trek, Rosoff visited Vinnytsia, a key industrial city in west-central Ukraine that has been the target of deadly

A volunteer takes CPR and First Aid

training in Lviv, Ukraine

A girl shows off her art creation at a summer camp in Dnipro

Dr. Jack Rosoff alongside Chabad Tucson’s Rabbi Yossie Shemtov during Torah reading before traveling to Ukraine

A Jewish man volunteering with Ukrainian military at services in the synagogue in Kharkiv

missile attacks. There he met impoverished children, many of them orphaned. “I pretty much spent my two-week stay in Vinnytsia being there for them. I was able to purchase some food, books, and clothes for the children and put smiles on their faces,” he said.

and I visited three beautiful synagogues.

There’s a fairly consistent minyan, and while Saturday services aren’t packed, they are by no means empty.” It is these small details of familiarity and routine that continue to instill hope.

Vinnytsia’s Chabad Rabbi Shaul Horowitz shared the extraordinary pain the war has wielded on his Jewish community beyond the orphanage doors where he lives. Blood, sweat, and tears were invested into reviving Jewish life there after the fall of the Soviet Union. “It feels like we’ve gone back in time 30 years. The pillars of the Jewish community have pretty much left Ukraine,” Rabbi Horowitz told the JTA news agency. “The wheels have rolled back. We need to rebuild it all over again. Back to square one.”

Rosoff had similar sentiments, but he regards the Chabad rabbis, whom he met

throughout his trip to Ukraine, as beacons of light. “While oligarchs and people who could have fled Europe did, the return of rabbis to their posts has caused a resurgence of positive energy in many cities,” he said. Contrasting the beginning of his travels in Ukraine to the end of his two-and-ahalf-month stay, Rosoff observed the seeds of change blossoming.

“When I first got here, it looked like a ghost town,” he recalled. “There were no children in the streets, and the remaining people looked zombie-like, expressionless. Now, there’s been a revival of raised spirits and hope.”

Reflecting on his trip, Rosoff notes something beautiful he observed. “In Kyiv, I visited the frontlines and spent time with some of the soldiers. The soldiers at the army barrack civilian battalions don’t have enough supplies or food. There are people doing everything they can to support those in need, and these people act generously with the military.”

For most of his trip, Rosoff stayed in the historic neighborhood of Podil in Kyiv, the capital of Ukraine. He believes that Jewish life is thriving, despite the war and conflict.

“The rabbis are there for their communities,

The authenticity that Rosoff describes brightened his face as he spoke with Keeping Jewish over Zoom. “I’ve been to Kharkiv, a city 30 kilometers from the Russian border, which has been shelled continuously.

There are craters everywhere, and the air raid sirens don’t even ring for every hit,” he says. “Even there, there was faith in the air.

The morale was high.”

Rosoff, Rabbi Horowitz, and the many others doing such work are ambassadors of light, nurturing bodies and souls. “I am riding on the shoulders of my ancestors,” Rosoff says, shrugging off any personal credit.

“There are people like me all over the world.

I’m just one of a tribe, actually a type. My tribe is the Hebrew tribe, and this crazy work is my type.”

And in a sense, he is right. It takes people who think out of the box and see beyond the ruins to stay at their posts or fly out to help people entrenched in a disaster. While the conflict in Ukraine may seem like a mission impossible, sometimes conviction, drive, and compassion can make it possible.

Keeping Jewish | August 2022 | 5

JUDAISM 101

Commemorating Tisha B’Av Tisha B’Av, the 9th day of the month of Av, is the saddest day on the Jewish calendar, on which we fast, deprive ourselves and pray.

It is the culmination of the Three Weeks, a period of time during which we mark the destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.

The fast begins this year on Shabbat, August 6, 2022, at sunset (7:13 PM in Tucson, AZ) and concludes the following night on Sunday, August 7, at nightfall (7:44 PM).

Before the fast On Shabbat, all public displays of mourning are strictly prohibited. On this day, we eat, drink and rejoice as is customary— and even more so. There is an exception: It is forbidden to study Torah starting with Shabbat midday (aside from the study of Jerusalem and the Holy Temples).

We partake in a sumptuous and joyous prefast meal and are careful to conclude before sunset. We then stop eating, drinking and washing. At nightfall, we switch to nonleather shoes and stop sitting on chairs of regular height.

Tisha B’Av evening services are held in the synagogue, where the ark (Aron Kodesh) has been stripped of its decorative curtain and the lights dimmed. We recite the usual Shabbat night insertion. “Atah Chonantanu,” is included, but “Vihi Noam” is omitted.

Evening prayers are followed by the chanting of Eichah (Lamentations).

One more thing before eating: Havdalah is recited—omitting the blessings on the spices and candle. When 9 Av is on Sunday, if possible, the havdalah wine or grape juice should be given to a child—younger than bar/bat mitzvah age—to drink.

The Temple was set ablaze on the afternoon of the 9th of Av, and it burned through the 10th. Therefore, the restrictions of the Nine Days (such as not eating meat, swimming, or laundering clothing) extend until midday of the 10th of Av.

Even as we mourn, there is an element of joy and comfort on this holiday. Indeed, the reading of Eichah concludes with the verse, “Restore us to You, O L-rd, that we may be restored! Renew our days as of old.” There is also a custom to use flimsy paperback Kinot booklets, hoping that they will not be needed the next year. May the time soon come when we look back with the clarity of hindsight to see how all our suffering was but a prelude to happiness and goodness, with the coming of Moshiach. Amen!

Sometime on Saturday night (ideally right before the reading of Eicha), the havdalah candle is lit and the appropriate blessing recited. We do not recite the blessing of the spices.

Morning prayers are held without tallit and tefillin, since both are considered adornments. Most of the morning is occupied by the reading of Kinot, elegies marking the various tragedies that befell our people.

Work is permitted on Tisha B’Av, but it is discouraged. On this day, one’s focus should be on mourning and repentance. If one must work, it is preferable to begin after midday.

It is customary to give extra charity on Tisha B’Av, as on every fast day.

During the fast During this time, we do not: - eat or drink - wear leather footwear - bathe or wash (rinse hands only up to the knuckle when mandated by halacha) - apply ointments or creams - engage in marital relations and intimacy - sit on a normal-height chair until midday - study Torah (except for the “sad” parts that deal with the destruction of the Temples, etc.)

- send gifts, or even greet one another (you may respond to greetings) - engage in outings, trips or similar pleasurable activities - wear fine, festive clothing

After midday, it is permissible to sit on chairs. Tallit and tefillin are worn during the afternoon Mincha prayer, and the ark’s curtain is restored to its place.

Many have the custom of cleaning the house and washing the floors after midday in anticipation of the Redemption, which we await.

After the fast When night falls, before breaking the fast, ritual netilat yadayim (hand-washing) is done, this time covering the entire hand with water, but without reciting the blessing. It is also customary to perform Kiddush Levanah at this point, celebrating the rebirth of the moon, and our hope for national rebirth.

The destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem, by Francesco Hayez (1791-1882)

6 | August 2022 | Keeping Jewish

INSIGHT

Rebuilding the Temple with love

By Lieba Rudolph Talk about Jewish guilt. It is said that if we don’t see the rebuilding of the Holy Temple in our lifetime, it’s as if we witness its destruction. If that’s not difficult enough, the key to rebuilding is simple to articulate but challenging to do: to love another Jew for no reason whatsoever (ahavat yisrael). This

love repairs the “baseless hatred” (sin’at chinam) that caused the Second Temple’s destruction on Tisha B’Av, the 9th of Av, in 69 CE.

Until the Temple is rebuilt, our nation stops to grieve during the three weeks leading up to the 9th of Av. During this period (known as the “Three Weeks”) there are no weddings, no haircuts and no lively music.

During the nine days from the 1st to the 9th of Av (the “Nine Days”), forget about swimming, eating meat (unless it’s Shabbat) and taking an adventurous vacation. Then there’s Tisha B’Av itself, a 25-hour-long fast that usually feels longer because it’s so ridiculously hot outside.

But what I always disliked most about this time period was how clearly I could see what was lacking in me.

When I was growing up, summer meant fun. And that’s what it continued to mean to my extended family, old friends and neighbors who didn’t know about the Three Weeks or the Nine Days or Tisha B’Av. They were happily taking vacations and making barbecues while I was sitting home in the middle of summer with a bunch of kids and nothing to do.

I have to admit that I didn’t always view my fun-loving fellow Jews so kindly during the Three Weeks. After all, I rationalized, I’d done a lot of heavy lifting to do what G-d wanted so that the Temple could be rebuilt.

What about all the Jews who couldn’t care less? Which was precisely the worst possible thought I could think about other Jews, especially at this time. I knew that, too, which meant that I didn’t especially like myself at this time of year either.

But even so, I always kept an image of the Temple in my mind, remembering how it inspired me during a Shabbaton retreat my young family attended nearly 30 years earlier. Before that weekend, I knew that the Temple had existed—I had been to Jerusalem and seen the Western Wall—but I assumed it was basically a bigger version of our

giant synagogue in town. (What else should I have thought? Everyone referred to our synagogue as “Temple.”)

On this Shabbaton, I learned that G-d performed open miracles in the Temple in Jerusalem and that, up until its destruction, people actually knew that G-d existed. I was thrilled to be able to confirm my suspicion about G-d’s existence.

The Temple in Jerusalem provided enough evidence for me that the whole G-d and Torah story was true. From there, the idea chain was fairly straightforward: our mitzvahs hasten the coming of Moshiach, who will rebuild the Third Temple, which will exist for eternity. Learning about the Temple put Jewish history, indeed all of creation, into a meaningful context. My existential questions had answers right in my own religious backyard.

By the end of the Shabbaton, my husband and I signed on the spiritual dotted line, sure that we wanted to be part of the rebuilding campaign.

But every year the Three Weeks would set me back, and I would fall into the trap of looking at what other Jews weren’t doing for G-d.

Only recently have I seen a change in my relationship with G-d and the world. I am able to see other Jews in a way that I couldn’t before—to accept, care about and love them no matter what they do, even during the Three Weeks. That this attitude helps rebuild the Temple is almost secondary.

It took many years for me to internalize that surrendering my will to G-d’s will would be my ticket to personal happiness and that what He wants most from me is to love other Jews. What surprises me still is how happy I am when I do it.

Keeping Jewish | August 2022 | 7

LOCAL

Welcome to town:

Alan Simmonds

By Benjamin Weiss Alan Simmonds was born in Whitechapel in East London, England, in 1935. When the Second World War broke out, he and his sister were evacuated with their mother to the countryside. His father remained in London amidst the Nazi bombings as he served as a tailor for the army.

Alan served in the United Kingdom’s Royal Air Force and was later recruited as an engineer by Decca Navigator Company, manufacturers of radar and navigation systems for ships and aircraft. He was sent to the USA to work with the helicopter airline New York Airways and has remained in the states ever since. He worked in real estate in the New York area and was blessed to have three daughters with his late wife, Ruth. He is soon celebrating his 87th birthday.

How long have you been in town?

Five months.

What brought you here?

My beloved wife Ruth passed away last year,

8 | August 2022 | Keeping Jewish

and my daughter Paula was kind enough to welcome me.

Where did you move from and how is Tucson compared to it?

East Patchogue on the South Shore of Long Island in New York. Ruth and I loved living near the water. But I love the weather in Tucson, even the torrential rain. And everybody I’ve met here has been fantastic.

Currently reading/learning: I like walking to the nearest Little Free Library to pick up a book or two that interest me. I mostly read novels these days, either science fiction or thrillers. I currently like Stuart Woods.

A hobby: I used to love watchmaking and to build things in my workshop. But you need precision, and my hands won’t allow it anymore.

A favorite Mitzvah/holiday: Chanukah. I love lighting the candles and the good feeling about it. I also like Passover because of my mother’s kneidlach (mat-

zah balls).

A cherished Jewish memory: The wedding of my older sister Vickie. It was after the Second World War, and my father worked to make it as good as you could at a time like that. He went everywhere to get bottles of whiskey. It clouded over my Bar Mitzvah celebration, but I didn’t mind. I was happy for my sister. It was really something special.

Jewish app on phone: I’m open to recommendations...

Go-to Yiddish or Hebrew word: Me hay. It’s a family joke so let me explain: We once visited Curacao island. Jewish merchants would come home after a full day’s work and comment, “a mechaye!” (what a real joy or pleasure). Their gentile drivers couldn’t fully pronounce it and would say, “me hay!” So it became a code in our family.

Favorite historical Jewish figure: Ruth.

Define Chabad: Marvelous. What you are doing is wonderful. I wish I had had this opportunity earlier in my life.

Comfort food: Eggs and chips (as in French Fries). I also enjoy a good cholent.

Define Happiness: My beloved wife, Ruth. She was an angel sent to me by Hashem and we spent 60 wonderful years together. She smiled all the time and I loved her so much. I think of her every single day. She was my biggest happiness, along with our children.

Kvetch: Everything under the sun.

Kvell: My children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren are the biggest nachas.

Something you’re looking forward to: A long life, please G-d, so I can spend more time with my family.

KOSHER

Fresh BBQ corn salad

By Feigie Ceitlin INGREDIENTS:

DIRECTIONS:

Salad: Romaine Lettuce or any greens you prefer Cherry tomatoes Fresh corn Purple onion BBQ tortilla or corn chips

Grill corn and chare to your preference. Use a knife to remove the corn from the cob.

Dressing: ¾ cup mayonnaise ¼ cup olive oil Lemon juice from half of a lemon 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard Salt Pepper Garlic powder

Combine ingredients for dressing.

In a separate bowl, halve tomatoes and cut lettuce, onion and corn.

Add in dressing and crunch chips over it.

Bon appetit!

— Feigie Ceitlin is the program director of Chabad Tucson.

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Keeping Jewish | August 2022 | 9

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LOVE

Activities to commemorate Tu B’Av

By Rosally Saltsman Tu B’Av (the 15th of the Hebrew month of Av, falling this year on August 15) is a spe‑ cial day on our Jewish calendars that has become an auspicious day for weddings.

In biblical times, single girls would wear white dresses that they borrowed from each other (so no one would know whose dress was finer than the other) and dance in the vineyards. The men would come and choose a wife. The Talmud states that there were no holy days as happy for the Jews as Tu B’Av and Yom Kippur (Ta’anit 4:8).

Here are some of the reasons cited for cele‑ brating Tu B’Av. A couple of them also have to do with marriage, hence the connection

10 | August 2022 | Keeping Jewish

with weddings.

(Ta’anit 30b).

* After the Jewish nation accepted the slan‑ der of the Spies about the Land of Israel, G‑d decreed that the entire generation would die in the desert. The dying finally ended on the 15 of Av, and a new generation of Jews stood ready to enter the Holy Land.

* The Tribe of Benjamin was allowed to in‑ termarry with the other tribes after the in‑ cident of the Concubine of Givah.

* Following the incident of the Daughters of Tzelophchad, female inheritors were pre‑ vented from marrying outside their tribe so that the land remained within the tribe. Af‑ ter the conquest and division of Canaan un‑ der Joshua, this ban was lifted on the 15th of Av, and inter‑tribal marriage was allowed

* King Hosea of the northern kingdom re‑ moved the sentries on the road leading to Jerusalem, allowing the 10 tribes to once again have access to the Temple.

A Jewish home is likened to the holy Tem‑ ple, and so building a Jewish home by ma‑ rrying and having children is of paramount importance. Today, in Israel, almost every wedding hall is booked on Tu B’Av!

Here are seven activities you can choose to do to mark this minor, but very happy, Jewish holiday: 1. Since one of the focuses of Tu B’Av is ma‑ rriage, think of someone who isn’t yet ma‑ rried. You can get together with a few people and brainstorm possible matches, shiddu‑ chim. Have a matchmaking party! Someone who makes a successful match is said to me‑ rit a portion of Gan Eden.

2. Another important mitzvah is hachnasat kallah. That’s helping marry off a bride with everything she needs to set up a new home.

There are organizations that raise money for disadvantaged brides that you can dona‑ te to, or set up a registry for a friend who’s about to be wed but doesn’t have a lot of funds.

3. Maintaining peace in one’s home, shalom bayit, is an important ideal in Judaism, which views marriage between husband and wife as a manifestation of G‑d’s connec‑ tion with His creations. So buy your spouse a small gift, write a loving poem, or celebra‑ te by going out to dinner or taking a special walk. The holiday begins the night before (which is invariably a full moon).

4. The main thing to do on the 15th of Av is to increase in studying Torah, since the “nights are starting to get longer” and “the night was created for study.”

5. Make peace with someone. Tu B’Av cele‑ brates the reunification of the tribes. It also precedes the beginning of the days of repen‑ tance and soul‑searching with the onset of the month of Elul. Find someone with whom you have had an altercation and initiate a reconciliation.

6. Since the tradition in biblical times was

hoose happy,

ma‑ t ma‑ people hiddu‑ meone o me‑

for the girls to exchange white dresses so no one would know by the clothing she wore who was rich and who was poor, you can have a clothing swap. Get together with your friends—especially those who you know could use it—exchange clothes, put on music, and dance.

7. Donate some clothes to charity. Clothing the poor is an important mitzvah and what better time to perform it than a day noted for saving young women from embarrassment because of their clothes? The first incident of clothing the naked was performed by G‑d himself, when he made tunics for Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Let us wish one another that we all merit to see this beautiful prophecy take place im‑ mediately: And may there be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusa‑ lem, the sound of joy and the sound of glad‑ ness, the sound of groom and the sound of bride (Jeremiah 33:10‑11).

- Rosally Saltsman is the author of “Bashert - Inspiring, True Stories About “Finding” Your Soulmate” and other books available on Amazon. She offers creative consulting sessions via Zoom and can be reached at rosally_s@yahoo.com

Mazel Tov Peter & Erin Dworin May you share many simchas In your new home In the years ahead

Madeline Friedman Vice President, ABR, CRS, GRI

520.907.4141 TucsonHomeFinder@aol.com www.TucsonAZHomes.com

nasat e with home.

Keeping Jewish | August 2022 | 11

HEALTH

Suffering and a tribe’s coming of age ceremony Tefé National Forest in Amazonas, Brazil (Photo: Wilson Dias/ABr)

By Sofya Sara Esther Tamarkin I felt mixed emotions after a visit to a neurologist. After over a year of unexplained pain, I finally received an official name, a diagnosis for what I had been feeling.

as Allodynia, a neurological condition that causes extreme sensitivity to touch, temperature or pressure. In my case, this condition affected my scalp.

It all started when I began to experience steaming at the follicles of my hair. At first, I didn’t think much of it, attributing this discomfort to an unusual headache. As time went on and the strange sensation persisted almost daily, I began to doubt if perhaps I was imagining this physical ailment. As months went by, the situation didn’t resolve itself, and I realized that it needed to be addressed. Within minutes of my visit to a neurologist, my condition was identified

On the one hand, I was upset to hear about this diagnosis, yet there was a sense of relief in knowing that this was an identifiable medical issue. My pain was validated and classified, and there was a sense of peace that came with this realization.

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In Judaism, we are encouraged to seek help from medical professionals for healing. Yet some other cultures associate self-inflicting physical suffering with growth.

I will never forget witnessing one of the most unusual “coming of age” ceremonies celebrated by Sateré-Mawé indigenous people in the northwestern Brazilian Rainforest.

Soon after that process was completed, the ants woke up and the initiation dancing began. This ceremony required the adolescent boy to dance wearing a bullet-ant glove in front of tribe members while being bitten by these poisonous insects.

My husband and I had a unique opportunity to visit this tribe, which had almost no contact with the outside world. This ceremony involved the adolescent boy bringing bullet ants from the jungle to a tribe leader, who then sedated the insects by submerging them in an herbal solution. Once the ants stopped moving, they were woven into “gloves,” with their stingers pointed inward.

The tribe links manhood with the ability to withstand pain without showing weakness.

Apparently, the Schmidt Sting Pain Index— a scale that rates the pain caused by different Hymenopteran bites—lists the sting of bullet-ant as 30 times more painful than a sting of a bee. In addition to the pain, the venom causes temporary paralysis of the boy’s hand and part of his arm.

While I felt compassion and worry for the boy, we felt we were not in a position to “judge” the self-inflicting pain aspect associated with the initiating ceremony.

I think innately, most human beings yearn to understand the phenomenon of pain, whether it be physical or emotional. Our suffering is often compounded by our inability to reconcile any purpose for the suffering.

The Jewish faith doesn’t glorify pain as a virtue on its own. We do not pray for challenges, hoping to achieve growth while overcoming difficulties. Yet Jewish people also don’t shy away from focusing on working on inner growth. In Pirkei Avot, “The Ethics of Our Fathers,” we are taught, “Who is strong? One who overpowers his inclinations.”

A short while before this experience, our family, too, celebrated a “coming of age” ceremony for our oldest son who turned 13. His bar mitzvah signified a Jewish milestone of reaching adulthood. Family and community members gathered together to hear our son read from the Torah scroll for the first time.

Judaism considers stepping into adulthood as a significant milestone of embracing Torah and responsibility for one’s choices.

Interestingly, the actual term bar mitzvah means “son of commandment” because a Jewish boy is now able to wear tefillin, be counted as an adult man during prayers, and is obligated in the mitzvot.

As I sat in our synagogue, surrounded by our “tribal” members, listening to our son deliver his bar mitzvah speech, I felt unbelievable joy and pride. Our boy was becoming an adult as he was welcomed by his people. I knew he would continue to need inner strength and conviction to forge his path forward in life.

Unfortunately, in life, even while we don’t look for or glorify pain, we may encounter it. There are instances when there are no explanations or resolutions for a particular physical or emotional challenge. In those instances, Jewish heritage endows us with unwavering faith that pain, too, has its purpose. Human experiences include many ups and downs, joyous moments and difficult ones. As my favorite quote says, “pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” By coming to the awareness that even the pain we suffer comes from our Creator, though we may not be able to fathom or understand it, we have given the pain a purpose.

As I embrace my newly diagnosed neurological condition, I follow medical advice on how to ease my discomfort, while I realize that some days I will not be able to avoid pain because there is no cure for Allodynia.

I continue to pray for more “good days,” as I hope to be able to find peace and not have this condition define me. Unlike SateréMawé indigenous people, we never ask for pain to prove strength. But when we do encounter problems, we can view them as an opportunity to accept such challenges with faith, resilience and a positive mindset.

A Satere-Mawe boy during an initiation ceremony (Photo: workflow.arts.ac.UK)

The glove with bullet ants used for the rite of passage of the Satere-Mawe (Photo: Joelma Monteiro de Carvalho)

Keeping Jewish | August 2022 | 13

HUMOR

What the kids really need for school

By Mordechai Schmutter As someone who’s been a student, a parent, and a teacher, I think we should do something to change the “school supplies” list that is sent before the first day of school.

And then, after you buy everything on it, the teacher walks in on the first day of school and sends home a list of things you need to buy by the second day.

think the teacher’s just putting his groceries on the list.

Wait. So who wrote the first list?

And then there are the normal things, such as pencils, that we have to buy in abnormal amounts. We got a list one year that said that my son had to bring in 72 pencils. My wife sharpened and labeled 72 pencils, thinking, “This is ridiculous. Are they eating the pencils?”

And some of these teachers want items that are way too specific. For example, a lot of teachers require specific-colored folders.

This way, the teacher can just say, “Get out your green folders,” and everyone will, except the colorblind kids. That makes sense.

Because otherwise, the teacher would have to say, “Get out your reading folders.”

Or the teacher says she wants a composition notebook. I write compositions for a living, and I never use a composition notebook.

And can someone explain why the books are camouflaged?

And then some teachers want things that aren’t even legally considered school supplies. Why do they need Ziploc bags? I

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And then there’s tissues. Why are tissues even something we have to send in, but paper towels are free? Why don’t we have to send in toilet paper? Who decides where to draw the line?

Possibly. The ones that made it home at the end of the year clearly had teeth marks.

Of course, they’re going to lose some of them. You hand a kid 6 dozen of anything and he’ll lose some. Give him one! I know my kid is going to lose his yarmulke sometimes, but I send him to school with one. I don’t put 72 yarmulkes on his head at the beginning of the year and hope for the best.

My son had a teacher last year who requi-

red one pile of loose-leaf paper on which he could copy his worksheets at home. Great.

You think we’re actually doing that? No. I have a few hundred empty papers sitting at home for ten months, and I periodically ask, “Why isn’t this at school?”

“That’s the home one.”

“Oh. I didn’t require that. I asked for a plaid folder.”

And you have to bring in everything in September, including Passover notebooks, but most of it doesn’t get used until later.

Like every school says, “Send in a protractor.” The kids use it for about a week, and it’s never the first week of school. It’s sometime in March. The teacher’s like, “Remember those protractors that everyone brought in at the beginning of the year?”

And everyone’s like, “No.” And then there are the things the kids don’t seem to need at all. I brought a highlighter to school every year and did not use it once, except to color my sneakers when I was bo-

red, and I got 90s all through school. Should I have used it on the textbooks we had to give back? Or to highlight my notes while I was writing so I knew which parts were important? If I’m writing it, it’s important!

So what are the options?

Maybe the teacher should send home lists on the first day, but with dates posted next to each item so you know how long you have. That way, you know what they want, and you don’t feel nickeled and dimed later.

And you can also timeshare items such as protractors between all your kids. And the teacher can also -- instead of asking for massive amounts of pencils upfront -- write something like, “30 pencils a month.”

“That’s it?”

Then at the end of every month, we can ask our kid, “How many pencils do you have left from last month?” And he’ll say, “Three!” and you can go, “Yay!” and give him a small reward. And then you’ll send him with 27.

Much better, right?

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