
4 minute read
RECONNECTING WITH FAITH
By Libby Herz
Elyse Golob brushed the cool stones of the Kotel (Western Wall) with her fingertips this past month. She scrolled through the Tehillim (Psalms) app on her iPhone and stopped at Chapter 22. A montage of her life played through her mind; the childhood years in Far Rockaway, the religious years in Lakewood, the career years in New York City, and the retirement years in Tucson, AZ.
Until today, everything had seemed fragmented - like scattered puzzle pieces belonging to sets that didn’t match. But right here, at the sacred remnant of the Holy Temple, everything fit perfectly.
Elyse was raised in a Conservative Jewish home in Far Rockaway, and attended
Talmud Torah and Jewish summer camps. As a truth-seeking teenager in the 60’s, she experienced a burgeoning interest in her Jewish roots. Thirsting to discover life’s meaning, she found an Orthodox Jewish couple who helped guide her Jewish journey.
In 1969, she found herself on a trip to the holy land of Israel. “The Rebbetzin asked me to do two things while in Israel,” Elyse recalls. “To eat kosher food, and to say Tehillim. She gave me a little book of my own.” The trip was eye-opening, and it strengthened her connection to Judaism. She threw herself into Jewish studies at a girls seminary the following year. It wasn’t long before she married a Jewish man who had also recently become religious. The pair moved to the religious hub of
Lakewood, New Jersey.
Though the marriage was flawed, Elyse was absorbed in raising her five children in the early years. “Then, when my youngest daughter was two,” she says, “I went back to college through a distance learning program and completed a bachelor’s degree.” She continued with her studies earning a Master’s degree and completing a Ph.D. program in Urban Planning.
By 1993, her marriage had become unbearable, and Elyse and her husband decided to divorce. She moved to the South Brooklyn neighborhood of Park Slope and worked as Vice President of Research and Policy for the New York City Economic Development Corporation. She later entered the academic realm, working for a study abroad program sponsored by Boston University.
Around that time, Elyse’s son became engaged to a girl from South Africa, and the wedding took place in Israel. This was a very different trip to The Holy Land for her. “I went to Israel with my mother and two daughters,” says Elyse. “But at that point, I wanted nothing to do with Judaism.”
Her son’s new in-laws were less than accepting. Elyse returned from the trip with a bitter feeling. Shortly after that trip, she met and married her current husband. Elyse and her husband moved to Ithaca, New York where Elyse took a position at Cornell. But then, an opportunity opened at the University of
Arizona. “It was 60 degrees in the winter!” she exclaims – she jumped at the chance.
For eight years, she worked as Executive Director for the National Center for Border Security and Immigration, funded by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. In that role, she conducted and supervised innovative research in border security, immigration policy and crossborder trade. She loved it in Arizona and retired here, ready to have more time for visiting her children and for leisure.

But when the Covid pandemic hit, minor stressors turned into major anxiety for her. “I felt a lot of despair,” she recalls. She asked her daughter, “Do you have any positive podcasts or classes for me to listen to?” Her daughter suggested podcasts by Rabbi YY Jacobson, a renowned lecturer and Torah scholar. Those podcasts moved her on a deep level.
Reflecting on her life, she remembered how precious Judaism had originally been to her. Before Rosh Hashana of 2022, Elyse tuned in to a live class given by Rabbi Jacobson, who is based in Monsey, NY. At the end of the class, Elyse asked: “Rabbi, I had been religious for twenty years, but I left because of a difficult family situation. I thought all this was long ago in my past, but something is opening up in me. I don’t know where to go from here.”
Rabbi Jacobson read the question out loud and then took a deep breath. Finally, he looked up at the screen. “Thank you so much for telling me this,” he said. “It means so much. I know it isn’t easy, so I suggest you take little steps. I recommend lighting Shabbos candles and giving tzedakah before you light. Listen to the voice inside of you. It will tell you what to do next.
Elyse was touched. “It was the first time anybody from the religious community provided empathy for what I went through.” Rabbi Jacobson offered to mentor her, and the two began to email back and forth. Elyse began lighting the Shabbat candles, and has been lighting them on Friday before sunset ever since.
She decided to put up mezuzot on the doors of her home. She contacted Rabbi
Rami Bigelman of Chabad on River in Tucson and explained that she had six door frames that required a mezuzah.
“You’re in luck,” Rabbi Bigelman replied, “because I have exactly six mezuzot in inventory that are still at the pre-Covid price.” Rabbi Bigelman then personally went over to her house to hang them up with a blessing.
With Passover fast approaching, Rabbi Bigelman invited Elyse to join his family for Seder night.” But my husband’s not Jewish,” Elyse said. “Let him come too!” the Chabad rabbi replied without hesitation. Elyse hadn’t attended a Seder in twenty-five years, and the thought filled her with anxiety. But once there, the songs and traditions of the Seder felt to her like coming home again.
A few months later, Elyse felt open to a new Jewish commitment. Checking her email, the most recent message announced a trip to Israel with Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin of Chabad Tucson. “This is hashgacha protis (divine providence)!” Elyse thought.


She called Rabbi Ceitlin and explained that she was interested in the trip but was worried because her previous trip to Israel had felt soul-crushing. The rabbi allayed her fears, and feeling his warmth, openness, and receptivity, Elyse signed up for the Land of Spirit - JLI Israel Experience this past March. “And what I felt in Israel this time,” she says, “was wonderful. Chabad took care of us and provided warmth and acceptance.” Together with people of all backgrounds, she visited Jerusalem, Caesarea, Safed, Tel Aviv, the Gaza border, Rachel’s Tomb and Hebron, among other sites. This time, the connection was deep and affirming.
Although Elyse had lost the book of Tehillim given to her by the rebbetzin of her youth, she recited the words of King David, which were downloaded to her phone. “This time,” she says, “coming back to Israel connected me with how I felt as a teenager. It healed the hurt and pain of not being accepted during my second trip. I felt a closeness to Hashem. It all came full circle.” Elyse’s feelings of doubt were replaced by a sense of completeness and healing. This Passover, she is ready to celebrate with a full heart.
