Happiness: It’s contagious

Happiness all around

BYU–Hawaii students share how spreading positivity helps them and others feel happy

BY OLIVIA HIXSON

“Joy and happiness are like a butterfly. If you're actively trying to seek it, sometimes you won't actually find it. But when you are doing other things, when you're serving people, when you're learning how to adapt, eventually happiness, like this butterfly, will fly towards you and you will feel happy.” - Enock Shek

During this time of uncertainty and the pandemic, BYU–Hawaii students spoke about how they are trying to be a positive force in the world through helping others and discovering what happiness means to them.

Payton Kaalekahi, a freshman from Molokai studying hospitality and tourism management, said she initially had a tough time adjusting to life at BYUH because she was used to knowing and saying hello to everyone on her small island of Molokai. She said she decided she would just say hello to the people she saw while walking around campus.

“I found my own happiness in greeting people regardless of how they reacted. I just love to smile, and I love to just say ‘Hi,’ and ‘Good morning.’ So I would go around campus and just say ‘Hi,’ to a lot of people, and they had no clue who I was. So, I got a lot of funny looks, but I was really happy knowing that I got to say ‘Hi,’ to somebody.”

Similarly, Enoch Shek, a sophomore from Hong Kong studying TESOL education, said he learned how important it is to serve and uplift other people on his mission in Washington, D.C. He said his mission president tried to inspire him and the other missionaries to find joy through service.

“Joy and happiness are like a butterfly. If you’re actively trying to seek it, sometimes you won’t actually find it. But when you are doing other things, when you’re serving people, when you’re learning how to adapt, eventually happiness, like this butterfly, will fly towards you and you will feel happy.”

Spreading joy

Shek said he was able to work with people trying to become American citizens and be proficient in English so they could take the necessary exams to complete the process. Through this, Shek said he found so much happiness and joy through helping people. He said these experiences on his mission were the driving force behind his decision to study TESOL education.

“My companions and I would specifically find Chinese people to help them learn about the gospel, and one way that we did was offering to teach English ... to empower them. Doing that on my mission really inspired me and helped me to find my passion of teaching and serving others.”

Likewise, Kaalekahi said her efforts in greeting everyone and making people feel appreciated not only helped other people, but also it helped her find her own joy and fulfillment through fulfilling others.

“I just realized there’s still a reason to be happy because I’m making other people happy. I decided I was just going to keep smiling and being happy. I can keep doing this because, if someone else is happy because I’m happy, that makes me even more happy.”

Stephanie Eldenberg, a junior from Sweden studying art and painting, said she also loves meeting new people and being a force for positivity in the lives of other people.

“People and relationships are some of my main priorities in life. I value people and conversations. I believe that saying ‘Hi,’ or just simply giving someone a hug can change the course of someone’s day.”

Eldenberg said she gets inspiration to be happy by expressing herself through her love of art and music and through avidly listening to the words of Church leaders. She said she tries to take their words of encouragement to heart as she cares for other people.

“I believe what many of the apostles have said that it is through us that God answers many prayers, and we can make a bigger difference in others’ lives than we think. Therefore, I always try to take the time to talk to people and help them feel loved and seen.

“I believe those small acts can make a bigger difference in people’s lives than we think. Reach out, say ‘Hi,’ and help someone feel seen and loved. Be present in the conversation. It makes all the difference.”

What happiness means

Eldenberg also said it is important to find what happiness means to everyone individually since it is subjective. She expressed the interests of some may not necessarily be the same for other people.

“People are always so surprised when I express interests that I have and how they are different from many others.

“I love spending time creating art, going for a drive with a friend to just sit on the beach and I love visiting art museums. We don’t need to … have the same interests and experiences in life. We are all different, and that is great. Find what you truly enjoy and fully embrace who you are.” Kaalekahi also said it is important to make time for oneself. She suggested taking a few minutes every day to relax and contemplate how to find true happiness in life.

“Sometimes it hurts to be alone, but I think you need to take a few minutes each day and just relax, like be totally relaxed.

“Don’t sit there and contemplate life. Don’t sit there and think bad about yourself or about anyone else.

“Don’t stress about your homework. Just find somewhere you’re comfortable, and just let yourself cool down. Because after that, you’ll feel so relaxed that you’re able to feel more emotions, and you’ll be more capable of feeling happy.”

Eldenberg said relaxing is a great way to evaluate what happiness really is to some people and how to refocus on the important things in life.

“I try to make time to just ‘be.’ I have made it a point to not be too hard on myself. I keep reminding myself that my worth is not connected to my achievements or grades. It is okay not to be perfect all the time.

“I also make sure to make time for all the things I do enjoy. And the most important part, I make sure to stay close to God and be with Him in prayer and scripture study.”

Similarly, Shek said one of the best ways to get through uncertain times like the COVID-19 pandemic is to focus on what one can control in this situation.

“This is something we can’t control, and it just came out of nowhere, and it’s affecting everyone’s lives ... But you can control what you do here in Hawaii. You can control how you stay connected with your family and your friends. You can still do the things you love, like going to the beach.

“I think focusing on the things you can control will definitely help people find happiness during stressful times. I think it is very important to learn to be grateful in a stressful situation.

“I think if we are willing to humble ourselves and also remember the things we’re thankful for, we will see the good in every situation and feel a lot happier when we are.” •

Friends and family say she is a woman who has character, humility and works hard BY BROOKE GURYN

As the first student in her family to go to college, Tamarina Barlow, a senior from California majoring in communications, has managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA. Her husband described her as a humble yet fierce, individual and student.

Barlow said she feels the pressure of being a first-generation college student. “You have so many people looking up to you, but that’s where most of my motivation comes from. I want to make the absolute most of my family’s sacrifices.”

Both of her parents were born and raised in Samoa. They came to the United States to find additional opportunities for their family, Barlow explained. She said her parents love seeing her and her siblings take advantage of education.

She decided to pursue communications while in her sophomore year after her first communications class because she enjoys the ability to analyze media critically. She said she has learned all media and ads have a subconscious effect on us.

“[My husband] Beau could probably tell you how often I complain about commercials, not because they interrupt our show, but because of the underlying messages I get from them.” Barlow said she hopes her journey through a university education will inspire her community back home, family and her future children to take advantage of every opportunity possible.

Going the extra mile

Barlow works as a Human Resources student assistant at the Polynesian Cultural Center. Her manager, Poutai Matalolo, said, “Tamarina is a truly exemplary employee. I am proud of her and the great work she gives to this great place.”

Matalolo described Barlow as a leader. “Leadership is a characteristic that not too many people have, but [Tamarina] possesses it in a quiet and humble manner. She [is] a leader without having to be brute or loud about it.”

To show an example of Barlow’s leadership, Matalolo shared, during the Winter 2020 IWORK PCC job fair, there was a student who was having a difficult time finding a job. After several weeks of not being able to find a job, the student came to the PCC Human Resource Office discouraged and frustrated.

“We usually have the students go online and apply on their own. But [Barlow] could tell she was quite frustrated and scared because this was financially stressful for her as a new student.”

Matalolo said he admired how Barlow “personally took her to the side, sat down with her and helped her on one of the computers.”

Barlow went through each job with the student and trained her to go into an interview confidently, explained Matalolo.

“She didn’t only help [the student] find a job but also encouraged her to be brave,” he said.

Admiration from loved ones

Her husband, Beau Barlow, a senior from California majoring in anthropology, shared what inspires him the most about his wife, “She’s one of the most hard-working people I know. She is super self-motivated. When she finds what she’s passionate about, she puts her all into it.”

The two met at a YSA multi-stake dance in a very brief encounter, but then ran into each other again a few weeks later at a “break the fast,” he said. “I struck up a conversation at her table while putting chairs away, and I got her number. We began dating after that.

“She is a lot more fierce than she gives herself credit for, and she is always willing to try new things.”

Beau Barlow said he is always impressed when other students from her major share with him how smart and well-spoken his wife is. “They are always [telling] me how good of a student she is.”

Tamarina Barlow had the opportunity to represent the communications major at AsiaPacific Career Conference, and her husband said he is proud of her accomplishments.

Kaylani Quiocho, Tamarina Barlow’s cousin from California, described her as a determined person. “Once [Tamarina] puts her mind to something, she will make sure to get it done.

“Whether it’s something big or small. She is consistent in getting things done … Although she is younger than I am, I’ve always looked up to her.”

She said her cousin leads by example and believes Tamarina Barlow will thrive after graduation and become successful in whatever she decides to do.

Tamarina Barlow said she loves school, and being a student. She shared BYUH has been the perfect place for her to develop a stronger connection with her culture, the spirit and herself.

“I feel like everyone has their ‘thing,’ whether it be sports, cooking, etc. My ‘thing’ just happens to be school. My husband is also the most goal-oriented person I know, and he’s been an awesome help and example to me.”

Tamarina Barlow said she wants students to know it is okay to take a break and decompress. “Life is exhausting, and it’s okay to admit that. I have a 4.0 GPA, and I am an avid napper. Ask my husband. I always say there’s no point in studying when you’re too tired to retain anything.”

She hopes to jump right into the workforce to take a break from school and spend time with her family post-graduation. She then wants to enter grad school to further her education. She said, “Overall, I just hope to use my education to build God’s kingdom wherever and however I can.” •

“Family is always a priority to her ... She is my motivation and a super mom to our kids.”

- Nasanbold Sukhbaatar

Graphics by Hannah Manalang

Doing it all

Graduating senior Otgonchimeg Chimedregzen overcame challenges to achieve her goals

BY SERENA DUGAR IOANE

Otgonchimeg Chimedregzen is pictured with her family. She was a manager at Give and Take for two years. Photo provided by Otgonchimeg

Otgonchimeg Chimedregzen, a senior from Mongolia majoring in social work, managed to successfully graduate while struggling with the loss of her father, being a new mother, a full-time student, and working part-time as a manager of the Give and Take. Despite her challenges, which she said felt overwhelming at times, she believes it was all worth it.

Blessings of BYUH

Her husband, Nasanbold Sukhbaatar, a recent BYUH alumnus, said, “Pursuing higher education was one of her dreams, but this educational journey was not that easy. There were so many challenges and problems we faced and overcame. As a mother of four, a full-time student and a part-time worker, she has tried to balance her duties and never left behind any of them.”

Chimedregzen said studying at BYUH with her husband and four children was the most memorable time of her life because of the unique challenges she faced. She and her husband said they were showered with new knowledge and experiences from their four years of study and work.

She shared how, initially, she and her husband started at the same English as an International Language (EIL) level, which required them to take many of the same classes. “Most of our classes were overlapping, so it was very difficult for us to find babysitters. Sometimes, one of us had to skip classes or have to take our children to the classes.”

She also said she barely had time to spend with her husband due to their busy schedules. “In the mornings, we usually have classes, and then both take turns to work. After work, we have to do our homework. Sunday is the only day we spend as a family.”

Chimedregzen shared how several times, she was in despair due to failing classes and having an overload of obligations. “My English was so bad. I cried many times and wanted to give up, but I didn’t. I usually did not have much time to practice my English, so I decided to talk only in English with my children. It really helped me to improve my English.”

Her family was also blessed with two new members during their studies. Chimedregzen said going through the pregnancy and birth process twice while juggling school and work was challenging yet rewarding.

“Now, we are used to living overloaded all the time. The time management skills I learned from my mission helped me. When I look back, these years were the most effective years of my life.”

They have three sons and one daughter. Sukhbaatar shared. “Family is always a priority to her, and she always tries to find time from her busy schedule to spend with our kids and me. She is my motivation and a super mom to our kids.”

Chimedregzen said her professors saw she was trying and valued her hard work, which encouraged her to keep moving forward.

One of the biggest obstacles in her life, according to Chimedregzen, was when she lost her father at age 15. From this experience, she learned she had to love her mother and those around her as much as she can.

“No one knows when death and other afflictions come to our loved ones. People’s lives are very short,” Chimedregzen shared.

Chimedregzen’s bishop, Merlin Paul Waite of the Laie Married Students’ 4th Ward, said, “She is an amazing lady. It is not easy raising four children while going to school and working. On top of [all of that], she is doing everything in a foreign country, learning a foreign language. I am proud of her.”

She said although her family is very busy, they try to serve the community and the Mongolian Club as much as they possibly can. Her husband served as a Mongolian Club president for a year, and they performed charity projects, such as fixing bikes and raising funds to help children in Mongolia.

Devoted manager

Besides her study and family obligations, she was a manager for BYUH Sustainability Center’s Give and Take for two years. She shared how much she loved her job and how it helped her to communicate appropriately across cultures and practice leadership skills.

From her working experience, she also learned not to be afraid of making mistakes and that everyone is equal, she added.

Leslie Harper, the Sustainability Center’s manager, said, “Chimgee is a very busy wife and mother. With all she has done, she was hesitant to accept the position as manager of the Give and Take. It was obvious to all that her focus was on serving others and making a difference in people’s lives. She was an excellent manager and will be a great asset in the future.”

Dreaming big for the future

Since Chimedregzen majored in social work, she wants to become an expert who works with children in Mongolia whose rights are restricted.

“There are many children who are suffering and do not know how to protect themselves and where to go to ask for help. Children are the future, so I want to help them.”

In the future, she wants to establish a school where she can prepare bright, future leaders for her country. Eventually, she wants to establish her school in different countries. •

“She is an amazing lady. It is not easy raising four children while going to school and working. On top of [all of that], she is doing everything in a foreign country, learning a foreign language. I am proud of her.” - Bishop Merlin Paul Waite