Issuu

6/6/22, 10:05 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

https://atwr-zine.github.io

1/2

6/6/22, 10:05 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

a letter from the editors At some point in our lives, we’ve all had to live with another person: Parents. Siblings. Dormmates. Significant others. But living with someone is more than sleeping under the same roof; there’s joy, pining, gossip, conflict, and more. Inspired by the 2014 Vine, “and they were roommates” is dedicated to the friction of living together, what happens (and doesn’t happen) behind a shared door. Break-up letters, petty confessions, winking erotica: this zine has all the possibilities there are when you think of the word “roommates.” We hope you enjoy the companionship of the page as you read through these stories, poems, and pictures. There’s enough room here for all of us. Editors Austin Nguyen & Helia Woo

https://atwr-zine.github.io/editorletter.html

1/1

6/6/22, 10:05 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

table of contents cover a letter from the editors Bob and Ross i’m shy and they were (not) roommates The Things in Our Art-Filled 2-Person Apartment Robot. live together Keeping It Neutral Cross Section of a Refrigerator in an Apartment Where No One Cooks How to Fuck Your Roommate: A Queer Girl’s Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving Your Own Live-in Girlfriend the editors

https://atwr-zine.github.io/toc.html

1/1

6/6/22, 10:05 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

Bob and Ross One night at around 7 PM, I was sitting alone in my dorm room, the only light in the room shining from my laptop. It was open to a homework assignment that I had been staring at, but hadn’t started, for a solid half hour. I wasn’t expecting to see either of my roommates, Randy or Bob, for a while; they were both usually off eating dinner around that time. Which is why when I heard the sound of someone’s Bruincard slide into the card reader on the door, I was super startled and rushed to close my tabs even though there was nothing incriminating in them aside from my unfinished homework. After some fumbling with the door handle, in walked Bob along with the guy he had been seeing for a couple weeks at that point. After a round of hellos, Bob asked if they could have the room for a “private conversation.” I had heard a lot about this guy, Ross, but had never actually seen him in person. Apparently, they started hanging out at the beginning of Spring quarter after meeting through mutual friends. Not long after meeting him, Bob learned that Ross had never seen any of the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, an injustice Bob believed to be so great that he was obligated to correct it. They started with Iron Man, which they worked through in a night, and the next day watched Iron Man 2. There’s a scene in Iron Man 2 where Tony Stark and Pepper Potts kiss after a near death experience, and Bob decided this was the best time to pause the movie, turn to Ross, and ask him if he wanted to go out some time. On a date. Yeah. Ross, who I’m assuming was caught a bit off guard, said yes. This was Bob’s first date ever, so he was simultaneously super excited and super nervous. Randy and I gave him a bunch of advice about where to go, what to wear, how to act, and just in general what he should expect. We were both genuinely happy for him in that moment. Not even three days later, Bob comes into the room looking pretty down, and tells us that he had a conversation with Ross. To boil it all down, Ross said that he was worried they were moving too fast and wanted to postpone their date to focus on their friendship. Bob was devastated. He was convinced that this meant that Ross didn’t want to see him anymore and he was stuck wondering what he had done wrong. Randy and I tried to tell him that this didn’t necessarily https://atwr-zine.github.io/BobandRoss.html

1/3

6/6/22, 10:05 PM

and they were roommates

mean he didn’t have a chance with Ross. Despite our efforts, Bob was still pretty down. We decided to go out for a roommate dinner (which sadly has become fairly rare nowadays) to cheer him up. We headed to Bplate, UCLA’s most consistently mediocre dining hall. Unfortunately, about 15 seconds after we walked in while we were waiting for Randy to fill out his Symptom Monitoring Survey, the last person Bob wanted to see walked through the door: Ross. Before I even realized what was happening, Bob ran away from Randy and me, only narrowly avoiding Ross seeing him. A couple days later, they were together again. I’m fuzzy on the details, but I know it involved edibles in the dorm room of a guy I very much dislike, a lot of PDA, and going back and forth between the dorm room and another room to have a “private conversation.” So you can imagine why I was a bit uncertain about what exactly a “private conversation” entailed. Despite my concerns, I gathered my stuff and headed down to the lounge. I sat there for about 20 minutes, most of which I spent continuing to stare at my homework while not progressing at all. The menace of my floor, Matt, was on what seemed like an important call with some people at Wells Fargo, reading off a script about how much he wanted to work there and how he would be a great fit. The Wells Fargo employees didn’t seem overly interested. It wasn’t long before I got a text from Bob saying it was safe to go back into the room. Once again, I gathered my stuff and headed down the hall. There was nobody in the room when I got there. There was almost no evidence that they had been there at all. Except for one thing: they left behind one of the most rank smells I have ever smelled in my life. If you’ve ever smelled an old retainer, it was similar to that, only it was permeating throughout the room. It was borderline unbearable. Naturally, my mind tried to find an explanation, but I could only think of one thing. Despite the smell, I stayed at my desk and attempted to focus on anything but the obvious fact about what had just occurred in my room. It wasn’t long before Bob walked in looking a bit down again, much to my surprise. He told me that, once again, he and Ross were done. This was completely unexpected to me, but I did my best to cheer him up yet again (although I’ll admit it probably wasn’t very effective). To this day, I still wonder about what happened in my room that night. There must have been SOMETHING. Smells like that don’t just appear out of nowhere. Did they have sex and it was so bad that Ross broke up with Bob on the spot? Or did they break up and have hate sex after? I guess I will never know. And maybe it’s better that way. Bob and Ross did end up getting back together again a couple days later, and they have somehow managed to stay together ever since. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have broken https://atwr-zine.github.io/BobandRoss.html

2/3

6/6/22, 10:05 PM

and they were roommates

up a couple times, but have just kept it quiet. Either way, it doesn’t matter because they always seem to find their way back to each other. Which is honestly really special. They’re both fairly new to relationships, so they haven’t mastered the etiquette completely yet (specifically in regards to PDA; every time they kiss when it’s just us three in the room I kind of want to jump out the window), but I’m happy for Bob. Even though things started off shaky, they seemed to work out in the end. At least for now. artist / Hog Rider Hog Rider declined to provide an author bio, but would like to share this image.

https://atwr-zine.github.io/BobandRoss.html

3/3

6/6/22, 10:10 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

i’m shy

shit i do that kelly definitely hates:

when i don’t wake up after my fifth alarm creating double standards closing her door now that she’s in a different room the no food in the bedroom rule being anal https://atwr-zine.github.io/imshy.html

1/3

6/6/22, 10:10 PM

and they were roommates

about cleanliness to the extent that my germaphobia required a semiintervention opening the bathroom window also me constantly asking her to open the windows because they’re above her bed my extreme covid paranoia

things kelly does that i dislike:

orange peels on the edge of her bed not cleaning https://atwr-zine.github.io/imshy.html

2/3

6/6/22, 10:10 PM

and they were roommates

or taking out the trash when she keeps her door slightly open (idk why this peeves me so much but it does??) closing the bathroom window

artist / priya v. junior at yale, post-ironic @uclafits consumer, thot son, tattoo count: 4.5, @yale.fits admin

https://atwr-zine.github.io/imshy.html

3/3

6/6/22, 10:06 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

and they were (not) roommates Hey, The very last time we spoke, I asked you if you ever saw a future for us. You said, “I did.” You didn’t say but not anymore. I got it anyways. It hurt to hear you say that. It hurt more when I realized that I stopped seeing it for us too. You never even told me what that future was, and I kind of hate you for that because I’m nosy (you know this). But I also love you a little bit for it because maybe you were saving me from future heartache (I know it was both of our faults, and you’re not even here anymore—why do I keep trying to defend you from myself ). I never told you what I imagined either. I think what I looked forward to the most was living with you. That’s the thing about dating someone in high school. You can only imagine that kind of thing. So of course, when we ended up at the same college, I was excited. That’s the other thing about dating someone in high school: you’re still stupid enough to hope. It’s the little things, really. I imagined what your shoes would look like lined up next to mine in the hallway. You always wore black Vans. Everyone owned them, I know, whatever. But you always wore them with long socks and when you walked you had this really unique bounce to your step. I can’t even describe it; it’s the type of thing you have to see to know, and it’s one of the reasons why I could recognize you anywhere. Or I’d think about opening the closet and seeing your ever-growing collection of UCLA sweatshirts next to my clothes—you’ve known your whole life what you wanted (I guess it wasn’t me, in the end). Maybe I’d even come across that yellow button-up I helped you pick out. You know, I saw you wearing it a few days before we broke up. I wonder if you still remember I was the one who chose it. I hope you do, and that you remember it so hard that you have to burn it. My bad. I didn’t mean that. Then again, I kind of did. I know I can’t blame us for both growing into people that no https://atwr-zine.github.io/atwnr.html

1/3

6/6/22, 10:06 PM

and they were roommates

longer fit together because they just had to go and become too different. God must hate me because once upon a time, I valued that part of us. I could never date anyone who’s too similar to me. Have you met me? In hindsight, that’s kind of a dumb question. Anyways, I’m insufferable. I liked imagining us being in the same room, doing our own things but... Together. Like I’d be in bed reading a book and I could look across the room and you’d be playing a video game on your two monitors. I wouldn’t ever have to look up, actually, because your keyboard would’ve told me anyway. I literally didn’t know keyboards could be that loud until I met you. I guess it’s true you learn something new from every relationship. We always did different things. We just rooted for each other anyways. I thought it’d always be like that. Especially when your career started taking off in sophomore year of college. I figured your work would exhaust you, and at the end of a long day, you’d come home to me and find respite. I never thought it’d be the other way around. I know I wore you out. You know you wore me out too. Sometimes I can’t believe that a couple of months ago, every decision I made for my future made room for you too. I used to wonder how I’d ask my immigrant Catholic parents if we could move in together, back when I was so sure that we’d make it to senior year. I guess I should feel relieved that that’s one less thing I have to talk to my parents about. Now I can go anywhere I want. The world has never been bigger. It’s also never been lonelier. It’s strange, you know. My friends were all surprised when I told them this. They used to make jokes about us getting married. I always waved them off. They thought it meant I didn’t want that. After all, I never admitted it out loud to anyone in the universe, while we were together. I thought that I’d jinx it if I said it. In the end, it didn’t matter at all. I would be lying if I said I didn’t find it bizarre too. It was only the first night after we broke up when I truly knew, with aching clarity, that I would’ve given everything to wake up next to you just once. Now one day, I’ll stand in my very own apartment and cry, not because you were here and then left, but because you’ll never be here. By then, I will have realized that we never really stood a chance, but for a fleeting moment in time, we both believed that we did. And I will have forgiven us both for our beautiful foolishness–in all its delusional, stupid, terrible, and glorious humanity. Love (?), https://atwr-zine.github.io/atwnr.html

2/3

6/6/22, 10:06 PM

and they were roommates

artist / Anonymous The girls that know will know.

https://atwr-zine.github.io/atwnr.html

3/3

6/6/22, 10:06 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

The Things in Our Art-Filled 2Person Apartment

artist / Maya Raman Maya is a computer science major who doesn’t know how to go from the Westwood Target to Ralph’s and is afraid of genuine emotional vulnerability. They like to hike in their Tevas, tattoo themselves, and submit art to their friends’ zines :D

https://atwr-zine.github.io/2personapt.html

1/2

6/6/22, 10:06 PM

https://atwr-zine.github.io/2personapt.html

and they were roommates

2/2

6/6/22, 10:06 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

Robot. Oh you think I’m human because I write poems? I. am not. II. am just an affirmation machine. III. A love druggie. IV. A sentence without a verb. V. ending machine with one drink. Daily instructions: Fall in love with new robot everyday. Simulate symptoms of sympathy and sadness. Open doors for female robots and hold elevators open. Watch YouTube. Make eye contact with attractive robot. Simulate post eye-contact embarrassment. Email Professor without sounding angry. Simulate random hopefulness. Pray to robot God. Read cyborg manual. Unplug heart.

artist / Cory Chen Cory Chen is a 2nd year undergraduate studying English literature and professional writing. He loves experimental art and literature and B plate flat bread.

https://atwr-zine.github.io/robot.html

1/1

6/6/22, 10:07 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

live together 0:00 / 1:30

I put my hand on your shoulder you punch my gut you tell me that you wanted to be in love but not the type that makes you happy the type where you can fuck oh well and when you walked into the room made a point to put me down I know why you’re upset but I’m still tryna figure out just how to help I wanna help oh well well I live with it now and I’ll try coming round I wanna be a good friend but lately you’re just bringing me down live together live apart hear you breathing in the dark

artist / Ari Rivera Ari Rivera makes music in someone’s garage.

https://atwr-zine.github.io/livetogether.html

1/2

6/6/22, 10:07 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

Keeping It Neutral If you don’t interact with someone, you won’t get into conflicts with them, so that’s the philosophy my roommate and I operated on after the first day of getting to know each other. She said she practiced witchcraft and needed the living room to herself each full moon — “For spiritual reasons,” she emphasized. We talked about where we were from. She had ideological qualms with me being from a place where the average house price was over a million dollars. Pointing to my Gucci sandals, she said: “I don’t believe in buying brand name things.” “These are literally fake,” I said. “I got them from a flea market.” “You’re nevertheless feeding into the aesthetics of appearing wealthy,” she said, and I realized that I had my own ideological qualms with people who treated life as though it were some English essay to analyze. After that, beyond the occasional “hi” and “bye,” we stopped talking to each other. Wordlessly we self-designated obligatory domestic tasks: she’d take out the trash, I’d do the dishes; she’d clean the sinks, I’d vacuum the floors. Apartment life proceeded quietly and amicably until the end of the academic year, when I walked into my room to find a piece of trash on my desk. I take the crystal out into the living room. She stops rearranging stones on the window sill. “It’s amethyst,” she says. “A thank you gift for being such a good roommate. I know we don’t talk much, but honestly, having a neutral, sane roommate is better than most options out there.” I look down at the amethyst. The words nearly sear out of my mouth: How crystals are too expensive, that most affordable ones were actually just man-made, and that the market was saturated with fake ones anyways, so the industry’s just deceitful like most other industries. What she was really doing when solar charging her crystals every morning was foolishly feeding into the corrupt jaws of capitalism. Instead, I swallow my words back. I tell her thank you, she smiles in response, and we each go back into our own rooms. I shut the door, set the amethyst in a drawer: Is this the key to https://atwr-zine.github.io/neutral.html

1/2

6/6/22, 10:07 PM

and they were roommates

world peace?

artist / Zoie Burt Zoie Burt is a sophomore at UCLA studying English, Creative Writing, and Chinese. When she’s not reading or writing, she’s wondering where words will whisk her away to next.

https://atwr-zine.github.io/neutral.html

2/2

6/6/22, 10:07 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

Cross Section of a Refrigerator in an Apartment Where No One Cooks

artist / Kendall Moore Kendall Moore is an English and Spanish double major and film minor here at the good ol’ UCLA. Although she doesn’t study art, she digs drawing funny little guys and collaging all sorts of junk. Funky vibes are totally her bread and butter. Actual bread and butter are also her bread and butter. She loves bread and butter. And no one has respect for her poor nerves.

previous page https://atwr-zine.github.io/cross.html

next page 1/2

6/6/22, 10:07 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

How to Fuck Your Roommate: A Queer Girl’s Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving Your Own Live-in Girlfriend While railing your roomie is certainly not the most conventional way to go about dating, it has its benefits: it decreases the proportion of time spent commuting, increases the proportion of time spent naked, and creates a sense of comforting domestic intimacy. I dated my roommate, and here’s how you can too! 1. Move into an all queer household. Results will be best if you share a room with a mysterious lesbian who is older and much cooler than you are. 2. Bond with your roommate. Bonding activities can include (but are not limited to): Letting her teach you how to hit a bong Complimenting her groovy guitar skills Sharing your floral button-ups Scouring thrift stores together for more floral buttonups Drunkenly holding hands 3. Remain oblivious to her (rather obvious) attempts at flirting for several weeks. This is not a step you will have to consciously take as you have been conditioned to interpret any affection from girls as strictly platonic. 4. Take care of her when she gets a little too drunk at a party — the things she says to you in this instance will be...illuminating. Realize you’re an idiot, and there’s a chance that you definitely like her back. 5. Watch Portrait of a Lady on Fire together. Alone. It is nearly physically impossible for two queer women to watch this film together and not kiss at the end. 6. Go on a date and immediately realize it will be the first of many. 7. (Optional) DO NOT tell your other roommates for several months. While sneaking around is fun, this step is optional because the number of moments that cause near-heart https://atwr-zine.github.io/howto.html

1/2

6/6/22, 10:07 PM

and they were roommates

attacks will undoubtedly shave at least a year off your life. Additionally, it may lead to gossip, questions, and discovery while doing something as innocuous as holding hands and walking down the street. Follow this step at your own discretion. 8. Enjoy your new roommate-girlfriend! You may find that the activities you formerly found mundane will become fun, and at times, sexy. Making dinner, doing laundry, and even shopping for toilet paper can become an adventure if you do these things together. But of course, remember to take your roommate-girlfriend out on a real date every once in a while — she deserves it.

artist / Anya Price Anya strongly recommends watching Portrait of a Lady On Fire to those who haven’t yet.

https://atwr-zine.github.io/howto.html

2/2

6/6/22, 10:08 PM

and they were roommates

a zine

the editors

editor / Austin Nguyen Austin is dumb, cringe, deranged, and probably thinks you’re cute. He can’t stop telling people about Crash (the Cronenberg film) and has the second-best music taste in the world. https://atwr-zine.github.io/editorbio.html

1/2

6/6/22, 10:08 PM

fi )

and they were roommates

editor / Helia Woo Helia changes interests and life goals every two weeks and feels like she is being left behind. She drew the doodles in this zine on a trackpad in a version of Photoshop she pirated from Tumblr. Helia has the greatest music taste in the world. some thanks to all of our artists, to Einar Balan for helping with the website and taking the photo above, and Neelanjana Banerjee from Kaya Press for the opportunity to publish this zine.

https://atwr-zine.github.io/editorbio.html

2/2