Essence. 2018-2019.
Dedication.
This edition of Essence is dedicated to all of the talented writers and artists who contributed to the making of Essence, and to all of the friends, families, loved ones who are essential throughout our creative journeys. To all those who have challenged us, inspired us, and supported us, the Essence Team of 2018-2019 extends our sincerest gratitude. We especially wish to thank Mrs. Raba and Mrs. Martone for all of their help. Thank you for helping us bloom.
Art By Sayaka Inatome, Maeve Moriarty, Vincent Macaluso Cover Art By Waverly Alcure, May Shao, Kelly Wan
Editorial Staff Editor Robyn Lindsay Assistant Editors Emma Barrios Anthony Carl Bradley Winick Sierra Taylo
Dancing By Bradley Winick To dance is joy A celebration of life, a vibrancy of cloth The vigor that cuts through sloth And destroys the sins of man To dance is acknowledgement A warm welcome in dark times To forget another man’s crimes And be one together, harmony To dance is community When one pleads to love, they dance To celebrate their dreaming And find a new meaning And I’ve got two left feet.
Art by Jonathan Bauman
Permanent By Robyn Lindsay It’s good to be a writer. Because One of my biggest fears Is people not remembering me. When my physical being Is dead and gone My words Will never cease to exist. Once I put them out there Consider them a permanent resident Of the world. They might fade, yes But don’t we all? Alas, no pencil Can erase this mark That I made in history, Despite being minuscule. That’s why it’s good To have a friend who’s a writer; To keep your memory going on Even for one person. It truly facilitates the saying; “Gone but never forgotten”.
Art by: Aidan Halloran
Nationalistic Catalonia #1 By: Angelina Sapienza Watch as the flags wave in the air, defying Spanish rule and challenging the country that, for so long, has oppressed and maltreated them. An ocean of red and yellow stripes that never ceases to end. The red displaying a love for their nation, a desire for freedom, and a strength that will never be weakened. The yellow symbolizing an unending loyalty and the happiness and joy that resides deep within the people. Listen as their song begins as just a hum and then thunders into a roaring cry that triumphs over their oppressors taunting words. Listen to how the sweet sopranos and the deep basses sing in harmony to one another. Listen as the many voices merge into one. Smell the air and indulge in the multitude of aromas that are only native to this region. Smell the variety of fragrances, from the comforting sopa de galets to the sweet crema catalana. Taste the desire to discover liberty and justice. Salivate at the thought of becoming more than an autonomous nation, salivate at the thought of being sovereign and free. Taste the aspiration for change. Feel the trembling of the ground, as millions march for their freedom. Feel the goosebumps on your arm, as the voice’s echoes boom and thunder over the opposing crowd. Feel your soul tug at your heartstrings to join the movement, to join the people. Feel your hands clasp around another’s, as you declare being one and being strong. Feel pain for the people in the crowd losing hope; feel pride for the people in the crowd gaining awareness of what they are fighting for and deciding to join the crusade against Spain. Watch as my people, wiping away the tears, stand up and say, “Aquesta és Catalunya.”
Art by: Sayaka Inatome and Maeve Moriarty
Sleep By Olivia Schnur The last beam of light Cascades in my room Outside, the stars are like a blanket of night I know with the evening shall come My chance At last, I fall into sleep I wonder where my wondrous dreams will whisk me away, When I fall asleep The time ticks away In the land of dreams Problems fade out of my mentality, And I know when I wake Sunshine will smile And touch my eyes As I open my window, after I rise The wind whispers to me, and greets me as it flies
Art by: Jessica Tarone
The Future of Things Past - A Poem By: Danielle Nnorom I look across the ocean vast, And see nothing but my past; Filled with all these uncertainties, I pray to God to come help me; For I know deep down in my soul, Who really is in full control. God made my future big and bright, He cares for me and holds me tight; Even though he’s out of sight. Now my past is as good as old, And I get to see what the future holds; God made me in his image too, Not just me but also you. He’ll love us for eternity, And that love will set us free; From our bondage from our past, He’ll make sure that never lasts. So thank you God for what you do, And always holding what you say true. In the future of my things past, I think in truth that only God’s love will last.
Food Chain By Daniel Mallory Sunlight gives life to all of the grass and nature of the earth; A nimble hare prances and feasts endlessly in the green plateau. From the shadows a serpent devours the hare and leaves no trace; In the skies a fierce hawk swoops down with ardent grace. From the Earth a swift bullet rids the hawk of its brazen soul; In the food chain bullets reign, they take souls of all creatures lull. Food chains make slaves of the brazen souls without constraints.
Art by: Sarah Orlep
Heart By Thalia Tosetti The home is where the heart is but Where is your heart? Gone- in search of better or bigger. Hopes of finding yourself but leaving Behind me. Find yourself, but come back, pleasefor me, there is no searching, No wander or stray, For where you are, my heart follows. If home is where the heart is, Why do you have my heart? But Why are you not here? -T.J.T
Summary By Robyn Lindsay Out of all the novels I’ve perused I seem to be the hardest one to read. I’m just like any other; I have a beginning, middle, and end. But people just want to skim through, Get the general information, Skip the unnecessary details Of what truly makes me, Me. It’s upsetting sometimes To put all of you out there When all people want Is a simple Synopsis? That isn’t who I truly am I am an epic Long? Yes. Tedious? Quite. Worth it? I think so. I am a legend. A legend that will stay hidden, apparently Because I don’t even know how this story goes I’ve spent many a day trying to figure me out And it would truly mean a lot if I could be figured out But it’s hard doing these things all on your own Trust me, I’ve been doing it my entire life And look at the state I’m in now; It clearly hasn’t helped They say that two heads are better than one It’s a shame no one cares for reading anymore…
Art By Leo Xu
Silence By Anthony Carl People talk and talk to cover their thoughts You talk until you can talk no more Until the sound is sucked from the air Thoughts freeze and there is only light breath Your eyes reflect the faces with solid lips Your thoughts surge the thoughts you don't speak Yet your ears hear not a single sound—blah speak. Those moments a singularity Sucking away the thoughts of the shaded trees You hear the crickets’ final chirps Right before your eyes drift to the dark you never knew Because constant sound took that away from you.
Art by: Celeste Pietrzak
A.W. By Adiyah Midouin I know a lot of people who would probably sell their souls for a follow You let Instagram suck the you out of you until you become hollow You look for validation in likes and comments You spend hours taking selfies for Snapchat then have the nerve to ask where the time went You don't know yourself so you let strangers analyze you You're so stuck in this idea of popularity that you let it paralyze you You're not even real anymore; the internet was safe, so you let your pain digitize you I can't change you, and I would never try to revise you And I'm not perfect, but let me advise you You're like Tinkerbell; to live you need shouts and claps Stop trying to hide your insecurities in followers and apps Embrace who you are and whom you have the ability to become And I realize changing your username every week is the way that you run Appreciate the very essence of you instead of forcing the eyes of others to appreciate it for you Cause when your beauty fades and you're left with yourself your demons will find you Flight only works for a moment; I need you to start fighting I see how you really feel in the captions that's you're writing Can you stop looking at the lens and look at my eyes for second? You're so focused on your views, I'm questioning if I need a new perspective You’re the one who struggles yet I have to deal with the consequences Me asking you to put down the phone is not a sign for you to put up these fences
The euphoria of awareness brought on by these strangers Is the main reason thoughts of you and I are in danger You’re upset that people don’t know your story and only your name But there’s no story to be told with the lies you proclaim You’re lost but this is your journey so I can’t give you a map You got to start loving yourself instead of relying on that double tap I'm chasing you and you're chasing clout It's either gonna be me or you, but one of us has to log out
Art by: May Shao
My Hamster Wheel By Angelina Sapienza How can it be that I run for miles yet do not advance a single inch? As riddling of an idea as this seems it is a common case in the world we live in, where people are engulfed in this daily routine without ever stepping off the wheel and questioning why they are so dependent on this lifestyle in the first place. Everybody has their own hamster wheel that was custom designed to fit the life they live but, with a price, of course, has certain aspects that can be reshaped and redesigned by the person running life’s marathon. I am aware of the fact that on these hamster wheels, humans never seem to progress, yet still, we hop on that same hamster wheel every day to work ourselves to death only to get seemingly nothing out of it. My current hamster wheel is shaped like a square, this stable shape is so familiar, due to it being seen in our daily lives, that I would unconsciously conform to whatever it demanded of me. When lured into this state of familiarity I lose consciousness of the fact that I am being forced into a box, never given the opportunity to shape it as I please thus never seeing the future I dreamt of as a child. I only see the four vacuum seal walls around me, that tighten and constrain me from breathing whenever I question why I am there, only giving me my human right to breathe when I promise to conform to this seemingly stronger power. As though having this life-sucking vacuum wasn’t hard enough, my hamster wheel was also embedded with the towering walls and sharp spikes that I face in my daily life. The painfully meticulous routine I face continually keeps me stranded in this infinity loop of get up, school, mental battles, work, sleep, and repeat until I try to change it up and make something new of this routine. But by attempting what I am told is impossible, I was prone to just slip up and experience a sting of pain from hitting a wall or encountering the sharp end of the spike, made to hopefully motivate me from thinking I could change this pattern and from “slipping up” again in the future. The dawn of society was when this hamster wheel was molded into existence, following the lies that society established as laws stating that we must all just be born, get an education, get married, have kids, grow old, and then die. My hamster wheel was also covered with dangling posters that stated humans are made to be all alike, that humans must love
whomever they were “made� to love, and humans as a whole could not flourish without having such lies embedded into their thinking. My hamster wheel never got me anywhere so I decided to bring the hamster wheel I dreamt of to life because I was sick and tired of living in routine hoping everything would get better in the future when I did not know if I would even be given another day to live. So I grabbed a nail, a very small element that could change the course of my whole life, and punctured the vacuum seal that for so long took the breath out of my body and now has no such dominion over me. I finally breathed the fresh air the world had to offer, and never again would experience that artificial air I have once been contaminated with. I then attempted to rip each spike out but coming to terms that these spikes are an essential part of life I would have to go through in order to grow as a person, I decided to dull the sharp points and to add padding to the interior of the wheel so that when I inevitably slip up I will not face the harsh pains but be able to just fall and get up every time. Lastly, I grabbed the dangling papers, flipped them over to their blank side, and wrote on them that I can be the speck of red in a sea of grey and, against all I learned growing up, be the difference I long desired to unveil in the dull world that surrounded me. I was able to bend the cold, hard metal that once chilled by bones looking at, into a cushion of self-love that would accept that I make mistakes, would accept that I’m still creating myself every day, and would accept that I will never become what society sets out to cookie-cut me into. I learned to create in myself a self-dependent drive that did not need to be ordered around for I had enough common sense to know what I needed and what would be a waste of resources by adding to my hamster wheel. Never again would I let such unreachable expectations constitute what I do with my life and dictate the perception I have of myself and of those around me. No longer will I look at myself as worthless or merely a waste of air, I will finally see myself as the maker of my destiny, the one who molded my hamster wheel so that when I do run I can finally move forward, see the distance I trended over and feel pride that I did not do all that running just to stay set in the same place.
Art by: Ethan Russell
No By: Zara Mason No, The simple word Rosa said That got inside everyone’s head The word used to counteract The force of a racist act. No. No, The color of my skin does NOT define who I am. But instead it makes me who I am. It pushes me to rise above the expectation Of our so judgmental nation. But why? Why is it so hard to understand That we are the same, but I’m just a little tanned We all are humans, so why are we inferior to the white man? No. No, I will not let your perception of me define me Nor will I ever try to change thee. However, I want you to know That we are not in Jim Crow. In the eyes of God we are one All under the same Sun. So No. It wasn’t just about a seat at the front of the bus. It was about life, liberty, and justice for all of us.
Art by: Karen Li
Winter By: Daniel Mallory Winter storms freeze frowns, and cover crooked prints; Maelstrom cracks sacred glass and the cold air glints. I set bear traps to catch the brazen bear that got away; Dreary snow grips boots, but their weak efforts drift astray. Like grains of sand the grains of snow shift under my feet; As day dies the ice crystals assemble and secrete. Sunshine scorched frost, my gray cloud has gone abroad.
Art by: David Ouellette
Apathy By Anthony Carl The brain in your stomach gurgles Not from acidic flow, rather Angst emotion squirming—squeezing Like a thousand needles pressing your skin, Prickling but never piercing. But the brain—nothing. The needles prick an iron nerve. yet a slow, cold tear leaks anyways; Not from pain, from lack of pain. Why do I not feel the needles? They break on the wall around my heart; Splintering, shooting shrapnel in a burst. I cry and cry for every needle, as my wall slowly chips away. But my heart still aches—oozing blood; Pumping, pushing against the wall that will never break. Why don’t I feel the needles yet still feel the pain? My heart feels nothing, but my brain still screams. My brain screams quietly, it screams at my heart; Let it in, fractures heal the heart.
Art by: Annie Berkowitz
Red By: Angelina Sapienza I was told that coming out of the womb I shot out like a blazing fireball. A small ball of red luminous power and an explosion of energy was brought into the world. I was born with a light in my ruby eyes that reflected the blaze that grew within me. As I grew up, I was eager to engulf anything in my path and leave behind a crimson trail of fire in the path that I cultivated for myself. I created my own path, not following that of others in fear that it would snuff out the inner fire I had burning in me. The red fire seemed promising and I swore to guard it with all my being, for without it I wouldn’t be me. Yet as fearless and passionate as I seemed, I was still vulnerable to the colors around me that desired to tint me and discolor me. This lead to the day where I was walking through the world leaving behind my crimson trail of flames as I usually did, but then I felt a sharp jab of green, that was quickly followed by a paralyzing slice of black, that dug into my skin and pricked my heart resulting in it exploding like a balloon within me, the crimson staining the organs within me but then draining down to my feet and leaving my body seemingly colorless. I turned to see the source of this pain and I fell on the ground with disbelief seeing that my adversary was someone I loved and cherished. I remember that moment, as they were spewing toxic words telling me that I wasn’t good enough to be red, that I thought too highly of myself. Then I felt another costly jab, an even deeper slice of now pink into my head. I turned to meet my new adversary and it was a woman whose face was drenched with pink paint but whose figure seemed familiar. She told me I wasn’t enough of a woman, that I was not feminine enough and that I should stay contained in the pail I was assigned to until my future husband chose what
to do with me. I was shamed for freely painting whatever I desired, shunned for leaving a mark on everything I touched rather than coloring what I was assigned to at birth. Ever since that day, I tried changing my color, rejecting the beautiful red that I truly was, and I tried to settle for a transparency that gave off the same colors of whoever came near me, forgetting the red that was deep within. So as the years went by, the girl I once was began to fade, and her awe-striking color began to seem like that of a mirror, when people looked at me I reflected back what they were instead of claiming the wavelength of red I was. I felt as though someone drenched me in paint thinner, completely wiping away my red, leaving me to become seemingly transparent and clear to everyone else but sadly I was left in a maze of confusion, forgetting who I was and what made me the red fireball that used to so fearlessly take on the world and take on any adversaries to protect who she was. I thought I was never going to find myself, I felt lost and as empty as the canvas I couldn’t bring life to anymore. Then my day of revelation came, and I told myself that I was done feeling less than and I was done not having a color to claim as my own. I desired to add something positive to the dull world I was surrounded by. So I looked deeper within myself, searching hard for the red I once was until I saw the last speck of red that remained part of my existence. I reached within my chest and touched the color I long have forgotten. As the color torched my skin, the heat spread around my body, the warmth filled all that was ever cold and healed the open wounds that the doctors said were so deep that they were incurable. As this sensation rushed through my body, I felt it pumping through my veins, leaving behind a blaze in its path. This blaze rushed and concentrated in my broken heart; it was like Moses’ burning bush. It stitched up all that was scarred, I felt my broken pieces fitting together as that bright red flame spoke prophecies to me.
My true primary color was once again revealed to the outside world and it was calling me, preaching to me that I am filled with beauty, passion, and a powerful energy which only I can control and use for good, but if not controlled and cared after will end up burning me and scarring me with my own might. Once again I was my true self; a powerful being ready to paint the world as she desired to see it and never letting anyone have control over the paintbrush again.
Art by: Kevin Casseus
Peace? By Thalia Tosetti I’ve never felt her. Calmness, serenity? Don’t know them. I made friends with chaos The storms and the black seas Rough waves and avalanches, Of feelings, thoughts, memories. Rushing of turbulent winds, Omnipresent, destructive but A friend. Making friends with chaos That is where you will find peace.
Art by: Vincent Macaluso
RealityBy: Danielle Nnorom It is dark and I can’t see what my eyes see, It is bright yet I can only see darkness and suffering. Why can I see what I can’t, how can I be what I’m not? Why is it dark when it's light, it is not the middle of the night? Then I see some light appears, but I feel the darkness near. Then a movie I do see playing for eternity. In the vastness of this space similar to outer space. In the void, I build a tower and on top, I see a flower. A flower better than the rest whose love is put to the test. A persistent flower whose beauty is strong, a flower whose bravery was seen all along. Who is this flower you may ask; I surmise that it’s from my past. Who made this flower to be so strong, as the world sees it, it was me all along. The past, of course, drew this flower enveloping it with so much power The world which sees its face, what could be a better place Next, the past came to share his experience with everyone there Next the future came to see What had happened actually These two met and now I see the present coming back to me These three crash all together, forming a void that lasts forever It is dark and I can’t see what is my reality It is sad but lots of fun even though I see no one Now in the vastness of this space a break of light does escape Now that that is done forever its time to see my true reality I’m awake, I am free, I am who I want to be I now see that I can make life my true reality That is made just for me, For me to truly be free That is why I must wake lest I make the same mistake I can now see what I see so I venture out to my own reality
Art by: Rico Yu
Death By: Zara Mason Death. As permanent as that ink you put onto your skin. As sudden as when your car hits the pole and begins to spin. And as painful as a sharp uppercut to your chin. But why? Why did you have to go Without letting anyone know. When did that beautiful smile begin to fade. When did life appear in a different shade. I will never understand why And that is why I begin to cry. But because of you, my life has changed, The good and the bad, everything rearranged. My friends and family have become one, And my relationship with God is nowhere near done. Thank you for the times we got to share But now I can only talk to you in prayer. I miss you more and more each day, But I know that you’ll never leave me astray.
Art by: Stephanie Jenkins-Marner
I Am Racing To Speak Up By Devin Moore I thought I had trustworthy friends I didn’t know they were so phony One of you, I thought I knew But the friendship was built on lies The times you teased me weren’t just jokes You meant I was annoying You meant I was weak You knew that it would hurt me and it wasn’t true You knew you were jealous You knew I thought we were friends What started out as something positive turned negative fast You planned to hurt me That is why I raced to tell my parents what you all did You bullies think you’re so clever, putting my face on that gorilla suit You bullies think you’re so clever, putting my face in that trash can You bullies think you’re so clever, putting my face with a gun aimed toward my head You bullies aren’t so clever, cause I know how to speak up The school let me down The school didn’t really care about the “colored” students The school knew that this was racism The school didn’t help me at all The school thought it was nothing The school thought I shouldn’t be mad and should just go back to class The school tried and tried to make it seem like part of this wasn’t their fault The school knew they should have expelled those bullies That is why I raced to speak up beyond my school I’m not stopping here I’m not letting them hold me back I am rising above I am expanding my voice I am becoming an advocate for others with similar experiences I am telling other young people how to overcome racism I am racing to speak up I am racing to speak up I am racing to speak up
Art by: Maeve Moriarty
To Conquer By Bradley Winick They built a gas station on Merrick Road, Unbeknownst to the dwellers of the lake, Liquid gold as deadly as a snake, Poisoning all creatures from seagull to toad. Slowly but surely, the tank wept its fill The brackish water churns it, defusing On the surface, the birds, flying, fleeing Because some needed more gas for their grill The pond left empty, left all but dried up The water remained, but so left the world And left it open for us to take hold Of the lake, so in comfort we may sup. Mother missed the blue jays and herons, All for 2.95 a gallon And when they closed down that gas station, My, God! What returned! I was fourteen and saw for the first time A blue jay. I had never seen one before. I was fifteen and saw for the first time, A night heron. They’re quite common, said my grandfather. Or so they were. They pushed back our advance And so justice was served. But once. They. Built. A. Convenience. Store. On. Merrick. Road. Unbeknownst to me, and the dwellers of the lake. They drove money, power, wealth and stake, Into that property. And how could they know? How could they defend themselves? My old friends. Pushed back by the hordes of garbage, refuse None defy what the human race need to use. And so the age of the natural slows and ends. A plastic bag drifts, and snags on a branch. The banner of humankind begins to blow Into all directions, without distinction, no, I view the desolation from the park bench.
You will leave me soon, blue jays and herons, All for some time saved and a 7-Eleven
.
Art by: Maria Nazarova
Imagination By Robyn Lindsay Bills? Mortgage? I needn’t worry about that. I live inside my head Where everything is how I want it And everything I don’t Simply Is not. People say to get back into reality But isn’t reality what you want it to be? Don’t we get applauded for wanting to shape our reality How we envisioned it? I’m doing just that, Except I just envision it And keep it in my head Packed my bags, moved in I’ve never felt more at home. Yes, people might want me to snap back Into the real world People tell me to Get my head out of the clouds (There are a lot of clouds in my mind) And yes, living in my head Won't help me in the real life At all. But at least I don’t have to pay rent.
Art by: Emma Barrios
Black & White By: Danielle Nnorom The world is not all black and white Despite what many say It is the world we live in though One filled with lots of grey People go, people come They all go their own way And most people without a doubt Have a lot of grey There was a time when Black and White was thought of as ok But those days are in the past Although they still linger here today A world of light, a world of dark Separated as it seemed By some formidable close by enemy That stood for light but never dark Injustice it could not see As long as darkness was doing it They were guilty But further down the line they tried To push equality Down the throats of many folks And made it hard to breathe The world of Black and White not vanished Seems to wax and wane But at least there some out there That can still see a lot of grey.
Art by: Olivia Schnur
Women By: Zara Mason Always thought of as less than. Always inferior to the man. Seventy-seven cents per dollar. Is what divides us from the man’s collar. Hispanic and black women make sixty-one and seventy cents, But the wholesome dollar is guarded by a male fence. We are seen as weak. Unable to fix a little faucet leak. Criticized for every move we make But guys are excused for every little mistake. But why? Why are we the underlining? And men are the ones always shining. We carried you in our womb for 9 months. Nursed and raised you like tree trunks. Yet we are belittled in every form. But that should never ever be the norm. Here we stand, the most powerful force around. No matter how hard you try, you will never knock us down. Women. As indestructible as titanium metal. For what we deserve we will never settle. Belittle us, they will try But still, we will rise.
Art by: Molly DeGennaro
Hohensalzburg By Bradley Winick And there I stood, atop the world. An iron rail the only barrier between me and the air The keep made of stone, the sign of resilience And there I stood, the wood burled Twisted and wrapped, growing atop, the rightful heirs Giving the cemetery such decadence. An altar closed off to all, but me. Under coat of dust, left in abandon And yet, I felt myself there, all that time ago. I weathered the stairs, truthfully. A blade that I had my hands on A fighter in the likeness of Ecgtheow And there I stood, atop the world. Again. I never left, never breathed the right air. I never found the keep of stone, the resilience till then. The roar of the wind, those willing to defend the lion’s den. And I, the lion, a new leader of the pride Am ready to take the challenge. You will see me rear under ash, Like they did before me.
Art by: Adiyah Midouin, Kevin Casseus
A Reminder By Adiyah Midouin
Put yourself first, always. Have faith in your potential. Have faith in your dreams. Have faith that you can overcome any obstacle. Be prepared to lose. Be prepared to cry, and be prepared to want to quit. But also be prepared to win, be prepared to laugh and be prepared to push through anything. Embrace feelings and intimacy. Don’t be afraid to care. Be big; never shrink yourself to make anyone else feel comfortable. Be loud and say everything you mean without hesitation. Be gentle with yourself. Be alive. Don’t allow anyone or anything to disrupt your inner peace. Be the person you envisioned when you were younger. Don’t wait for people to understand you; move on and let them catch up. Always remember that you’re more than enough in every way possible. Accept the bad while embracing the good. Make peace with your past. Cut off negativity and anyone that doesn’t want to see you prosper. Learn to grow even when the world around doesn’t want to see you blossom. Look for joy in the small things. Find love within yourself.
Art by: Isabella Panobianco
We hope you enjoyed this year’s edition of Essence. Enjoy summer. Art by: Robert Callahan