God’s Call

How the Monks Discern God’s Will in Their Lives

Discernment—it is central to religious life. Six monks share the story of how they discerned—or continue to discern—a vocation to the religious life. While we hope these testimonies provide inspiration for a general audience, we also hope they help others discern a vocation to religious life. If you know someone who might benefit from this article, please pass it along.

Prior Jeremy Heppler

Benedictine Since 2003

I have known the Benedictines all of my life. My aunt, Sister Maria, is a sister of the Mount. For many years, we had the Heppler family Christmas party at her convent.

While a student at Benedictine College, I befriended some of the monks and occasionally came to Evening Prayer. I also came to a deep appreciation of the Rule for its practicality and its simple, yet profound, spirituality. During my senior year, I began the process to become an oblate, through which I gained an even deeper love of Benedictinism. Still, I had no clue where God was calling me vocationally.

After graduation, when I was a first year teacher, I asked Father Meinrad if I could come to the Abbey for a retreat. During that week everything – prayer, readings, conversations – had the same refrain, “come and see.” I spent much of that week arguing with God; but by the end of the week, he won.

I would love to tell you that every moment since I joined has been everything I hoped for, but there were several times I was very close to leaving. Through much discernment, I realize that God has gently called me and continues daily to call me to “come and see,” to journey with my brothers under our Rule. Father Bruce Swift

Benedictine Since 1955

My path to religious life was probably different than most young men in the 50s. I was a student at St. Benedict’s College taking science courses with the thought of going into some branch of medicine and dating my high school sweetheart.

During my junior year, I was curious about the monks living at the Abbey. In those days, most of the dorm supervisors and professors were monks. If one were in good standing with his prefect and teachers, he could spend a weekend living, praying and working with the monks. I asked Father Arthur, my prefect, if he would make arrangements for me. I came on a Friday after my classes and spent the weekend with the monks, getting up at 4:00 or 4:15 am to pray - all in Latin - and living the daily life of a monk.

I fell in love with the place. I had never felt such peace before. Masses and worship were held at St. Benedict’s Parish church. Meals in the college were family style. After dinner, I would go to the church and pray a rosary, asking for some sign.

During my senior year I made another visit to the monastery and God answered my prayers. After graduation I became a novice and have been here ever since, being professed for 58 years. Brother Timothy McMillan

Benedictine Since 2012

For me, discernment requires an active pursuit of God’s will, always being open, continually offering yourself to Christ in the sacraments, and developing a personal relationship; consuming the peace that is found in his presence.

As a student at Benedictine, I didn’t know much about the monks. During my junior year, I had been trying to figure out what God was calling me to do with my life.

Almost effortlessly, I met several monks and my openness to the religious life began to expand with my growing love of the Catholic faith. I took part in spiritual direction, visited with the monks and continued to consult my thoughts in adoration and daily Mass. My vocation became more clear as I spent time in silence with our Lord.

During one of my theology courses, I was assigned to read the Rule. The life and guidelines of St. Benedict inspired me. It strengthened my desire for Christ and I could no longer restrain my attraction to the lifestyle of this humble saint.

I recently professed first vows as a monk, but that does not mean I am done discerning. I still continue to balance my life with the duality of work and prayer, I want to make sure this is what I want, that I will continue to find my spiritual conviction in God. He alone will solidify my life choice.

Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart. This is advice from a father who loves you; welcome it, and faithfully put it into practice.

- Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue: 1

Brother Anthony Vorwerk

Benedictine Since 1953

When discerning a vocation, some take a leap of faith, others walk a path of conviction. At 18, I did both. I attended Catholic schools, went to Mass, and enjoyed my parish as well as growing up around Benedictines who were assigned to our Church. During high school, I had a conversation with a priest who suggested that I visit St. Benedict’s Abbey. He asked me to consider it as I discerned. I took his advice, and after my visit, I was convinced that the Abbey was where I was meant to be.

I entered the monastery knowing I wanted to serve the Lord, but I did not feel called to serve a parish, I was called to partake in the community.

Even though I was very young, I knew after my visit I was meant to be at St. Benedict’s Abbey. I felt a sense of peace in my search for a vocation and grew to love my faith more because of it.

The process of discernment involves a test of the will as well as the heart. In any vocation it is important to handle each moment individually. Discernment doesn’t always mean waiting for an answer from God, but trusting that his will might be done by way of the choices you make in good faith. My vocation is to do God’s will, but my choice was to become a monk, and I have lived and loved my faith more because of the two. Brother Joseph Ryan

Benedictine Since 1995 Abbot Owen Purcell

Benedictine Since 1952

As I look back at my journey, the two people who had the most influence on me were my parents. As I was growing up I would see my mother reading the Bible and praying each morning. And though my father passed away when I was young, my mother told me of his dedication to his faith, taking time away from work to attend daily Mass.

I must have filed their prayer lives into the back of my head. When I went to college, I started attending daily Mass and practicing lectio divina. Though I was leading a more prayerful life, I still wanted to get married and have a family; I kept shutting out the thought of religious life.

After graduating, something was missing. I kept coming back to Atchison to visit, and friends, including Paul Rolling (now Father Brendan), kept telling me that I should stay and join the Abbey. I continued to say no.

At Father Meinrad Miller’s ordination something clicked inside me, and I asked to stay. At first the religious life was a struggle and I was uncertain if it were for me. As I prayed with a monk who was dying, I felt a peace come over me. It was then I discovered the Abbey was my home. Though I did not marry, God gave me a large family. Though there have been trials, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am happy.

I was an only child. That can be both a blessing and a curse depending on how the situation is faced. There was a period of turmoil in my home, and I found the Church to be a place of refuge and rest even though I was young. I took solace in serving Mass and saying the rosary. I felt at home at the Cathedral in Leavenworth. The pastors took a personal interest in me.

An annual picnic was held at St. Benedict’s College for Mass servers. The place was welcoming. I watched some men playing softball and was told they were monks of the Abbey. One question led to another, and my interest in their community grew.

Some of the monks would come to Leavenworth to help at our parish. I got to know some of them, including Father Gilbert Wolters and Father Thomas Hartman, later Abbot. (I went on to serve as his Subprior.) I found the monks friendly, easy to visit with, with a good sense of humor.

In August of 1949 I got on the Missouri Pacific Bus and came to St. Benedict’s to be a Hilltopper, that is, a seminarian.

Life as a monk has been eventful with the changes in the Church, particularly Vatican Council II, and in society. For me it has been quite a journey: joyous, sad and challenging. Often the “grass looked greener” elsewhere, but I have found wonderful and loving people here and at Mount St. Scholastica. We vow stability. I am here to stay!