KANDY Magazine February 2019 Issue

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COVER MODEL

MOLLY SHEA

She is one of the original reality tv stars who has found a new life as a nurse and we convinced her to share her sexiness in a fitting Valentine nurse pictorial.

Kandy Valentine Cheri Noel Wow! Cheri pops our cherry for models only wearing tape CES Recap What took place this year at CES? We offer up our Best of Show including a futuristic robot which reminds of the Jetsons.

Go Italian on Valentines The Kandy Koncierge is back with a can’t-miss gourmet Valentine’s meal that will have your lady showing her appreciation at the end of the meal.

Dating Apps Sexy People Love We asked sexy people what apps they use and have published their top apps for you to try. Stay Sexy Amigo!

World of Kandy Italy We have gone to Italy this month to find our World of Kandy beauty. Say hello Elisa de Panicis, an European tv star who is making noise.

OSCARS Predictions If we had vote for OSCARs winners these are the parties who would get our vote. We reward lifetime achievement over political activism.

SXSW Preview No longer simply a music festival. The Austin, TX festival covers 10 days of music, movies, comedy, gaming and tech.

We take a look at what to see.

Athletes vs Working Class It’s economic warfare and redistribution as in the past 30 years the average salary of professional athletes has skyrocketed while the working class has their pockets picked to pay the absurd salaries athletes receive. We reveal how it is done.

Valentine’s Day Gadgets For Lovers We uncover a few gadgets to keep your love ticking and the lady in your life happy.

KANDY MAGAZINE

Letter from the EDITOR

W

elcome to our special Valentine’s edition of KANDY. It’s been four years since our last Valentine’s issue featuring Laurie Young. The timing was perfect to bring back the special edition. This year we are honored to have San Diego’s very own Molly Shea grace the cover. Molly may have disappeared from the public eye, but she has always been the object of pursuit of Kandy’s eye.

Molly’s cover has been years in the making once we learned her new profession as a nurse. We are excited that the timing of her photo shoot worked out perfectly to make the February cover. For a sampling of Molly’s previous life, I suggest looking up “Olly Girls of Sunset Tan.” Joining Molly in this month’s issue are a couple of new Kandy girls, Elisa de Panicis of Italy and Cherie Noel of Los Angeles. This month the ladies share with us their thoughts on Valentine’s Day. Photo Mike Prado

Keeping with Valentine’s theme, our writers share what dating apps sexy people swear by, a Valentine’s Day meal you can prepare for your lady that will knock her off her feet and Valentine’s gadgets for lovers (these are G-rated).

This month’s issue wraps up a sampling of pop culture and sports as our writers forecast the OSCARS, preview SXSW, and recap CES. I personally close out the issue with my deep-felt and honest opinion on income inequality and the wealth redistribution between professional athletes and the working class. You may or may not agree with my point of view, but the numbers don’t lie.

I hope you enjoyed the issue especially a few of the goodies we pulled out from the last Valentine’s issue.

Until next month dear Kandy reader,

KANDY MAGAZINE

Editor in Chief Ron Kuchler Managing Editor David Packo

Deputy Editor Steve Scala

Technology Correspondent Jason Murphy

Associate Editor Bill Nychay

Cover Photo by Mike Prado Contributing Photographers Mike Prado, Karina Chancey Contributing Writers Jason Rosell, Mort McNamara, Alison Trask, Shandrew PR

Contact Us Kandy Enterprises LLC 7260 W. Azure Dr Suite 140-639 Las Vegas, NV 89130 www.kandymag.com www. facebook.com/kandymagazine www. twitter.com/mykandymagazine www. instagram.com/kandymag General Inquiries - info@kandymag.com Public Relations - pr@kandymag.com Letters to The Editor - letters@kandymag.com Copyright - legal@kandymag.com Model Inquiries - www.kandymag.com/become-a-kandy-girl Photographer Inquiries - www. kandymag.com/helpout Writer Inquiries -www. kandymag.com/helpout Subscription Inquiries - subscriptions@kandymag.com

Š 2019 Kandy Enterprises LLC. All Rights Reserved.

KRUSH OF THE MONTH

KANDY MAGAZINE

LAURIE YOUNG

She is known as late-night TV’s bleep girl for her commercials where every other word out of her mouth is bleeped. Now, get to see another side of our sexy Valentine Krush.

Interview Ron Kuchler Photos by Mario Barberio HMU Michelle Vanderhule Stylist Joi Salvador Wardrobe Shirley of Hollywood Copyright Kandy Magazine | February 2019 - Issuu Edition

KRUSH OF THE MONTH KANDY MAGAZINE

“

I’m a cheerleader to the core…

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KANDY | CES 2019 RECAP

By Liam Davis When a fake meat product captures many “Best of Shows” awards it is a sad day for tech. That is exactly what occurred this year at CES as the media fawned over a meatless burger. With major mobile phone companies now withholding mobile phones releases for the MWC Barcelona (formerly Mobile World Congress) in Barcelona, CES has been stripped of a significant product line. The show continues being a powerhouse for home consumer electronics and computing devices, as well as new and emerging technologies. Here is our “Best of” in those categories.

BEST TV LG OLED TV R After showcasing prototypes for multiple years, LG has finally made its rollable, 65" 4K HDR Smart TV available for purchase. Made of organic materials, the LG SIGNATURE OLED TV R can transform itself to offer three different viewing options – Full View, Line View, and Zero View.

Enjoy Full View for the traditional experience of a 65” TV; roll it down to line view to turn into a home photo gallery or just stream your favorite tunes. And do we really need to explain Zero view? Gone are the days of arguing with the wife over what is more important to hang on the wall, your 65-inch tv or the family portrait from 2005.

BEST ROBOT Samsung Bot Care Samsung Bot Care is the healthcare-specialized robot. It will measure blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, and sleeping state, and is even capable of reminding you when it’s time to take your medicine. Meet George Jetson or should we say, Bot meet Rosie the maid. How much longer do we have to wait for flying cars?

BEST WEARABLE Withings Move ECG MSRP: $130 At a fraction of the cost of Apple Watch 4, and with a fraction of the bells and whistles, the Move ECG watch will monitor your cardiovascular health and heart conditions. It is the first watch to record an electrocardiogram (ECG) on-demand and has one-year battery life.

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Best Business Laptop Dell Latitude 7400 2-in-1 MSRP $1,599 Dell has the world’s smallest commercial 14” 2-in-1, with up to 24 hours of battery life. Are you ready to be amazed? The Latitude 7400 2-in-1 is the first PC to use a proximity sensor which detects your presence, wakes the system, and immediately scans for facial recognition to log in with Windows Hello. HELLO! Even when you step away for a break, it will recognize that you have left and will lock itself to preserve battery life and maintain security. Serious Mission Impossible tech inside this device.

KANDY | Valentine’s Day Gadgets For Lovers

Aera Smart Diffuser MSRP $200

Check out the Aera Smart Diffuser. You should realize by now that us ladies love scents and candles. And depending on the size of the room the candle will grow proportionally. The Aera Smart Diffuser is not a candle per se, but it will fill the room, regardless of size, with scents that make us tingle. And you want us tingling, don’t you?

Opté Precision Skincare System MSRP $599

Opté digitally scans her skin, analyzes her complexion, and camouflages age spots, sun spots and hyperpigmentation while fading their appearance over time. This gift recommendation comes with a caveat. If not presented in the right way she could easily be offended. But if your lady needs erasing a few age spots then we recommend this amazing product. Dermatologist visits for age spot removal treatments are expensive, in case you did not know, $500 and up in some cases, with up to ten visits necessary to reverse the age spots. When she’s not looking, use the product on yourself. We won’t tell.

Good Cooking Chocolate Melting Pot MSRP $19.99

On a budget? And if you want to SEX up the dessert in your Kandy Koncierge Valentine’s meal might I suggest a melting pot. Whoopies are nice, but nothing says “I want your body” like freshly dipped chocolate dipped strawberries. Plus, the leftover chocolate could be put to better use later in the evening as the Koncierge mentions.

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Interview Ron Kuchler Photos by Mike Prado

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KANDY COVER MODEL Hi Molly, welcome to Kandy. I recall our very first meeting. It was over a decade ago at Glamourcon.

Oh, where to start... yes, we met years ago when I was busy in another profession. I can honestly say that I have been blessed with many life adventures and experiences. I have always enjoyed caring for others and learning; however, knowing school will always be there, I decided to take opportunities as they came because those may not always be available. I was/ am fortunate to have been part of the new era of TV … reality shows ... It was a lot of fun, full of travel, celebrity-filled parties and a lifestyle only many dreams of.

I am truly a San Diego girl and remained humbled, never losing touch of my roots during that time. We all grow, learn and move forward with changes. I continued school, through all this, knowing I’d finish and move on to life’s next chapter one day.

Do I miss the Hollywood scene? Well, of course, there are parts of it that I could say I miss; however, I missed the simple life too. When it comes to being in the spotlight, you give up privacy and possibly genuine relationships. It is not always as glamorous as it appears. There’s a reason I went back to San Diego and finished school.

Finishing school with a supportive cohort was one of the most challenging, rewarding and greatest things I have done. Nursing school wasn’t the easiest, as many instructors and doctors along the way wanted to see me fail or harassed me saying “I can’t have beauty and brains.” This added to an already strenuous course.

With social media taking over and being so easy to reach people I have had people send me messages and photos from my Hollywood days, asking where I am these days or sharing memories with me. It’s fun to look back and realize my life story is well rounded, to say the least.

I have had people recognize me and/or question me as to why I’m not modeling as “I’m too pretty to be a nurse” … I don’t advertise that I still model or share my history. I just smile and thank them and receive a compliment with grace. Humility and gratitude go a long way. I love where I am at today and will continue to challenge myself.

You were with your other half of the Olly Girls at the time, Holly. Those were mischievous days, were they not?

Depending on what you consider mischievous, I suppose you can say they were, and I have no regrets.

I thought for certain that small screen or big screen superstardom was in the cards. There was an Anna Faris aura surrounding you. Is it correct that talent casting directors saw you as a package deal?

Olly girls were somewhat of a package deal; however, I did do a lot of hosting on my own for E! How did you make the transition to nursing?

Making the transition to nursing had its challenges but I knew from the beginning I’d be doing it someday.

What was the thought process behind the shoot?

We wanted to have a fun and flirty photo shoot but also incorporate my profession and where I am today.

We noticed you keep your private life very private.

Care to shed any insight into Valentine’s plans?

Yes, I am private, I feel I share just enough and keep you wondering. No plans for Valentine’s Day. Most likely have some dark chocolate, that’s my favorite.

What do you notice about a man?

Initially how well-groomed of course but intelligence with humor is quite attractive.

What do you hope he notices about you?

That I can hold a conversation. Sounds silly to say that but I can’t tell you how many times it comes by surprise.

If we were to whisk you away on a last-minute trip, where would you hope it would be?

I love to travel as most everyone else does. Oh, to pick the next place that’s hard. I’d have to say Turkey but once I go there, then I’d have another destination.

Seeing the Northern lights would be right around the top of the list too.

Give us a peek into Molly’s future. What does it look like?

Molly’s future, well that’s hard to say, I don’t ever slow down. And again, I’m known to be private with that. It’s fun to have a mysterious side, right!?!?!

Follow Molly on Instagram @MissMollyShea

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KANDY | KANDY Koncierge - Food

DINE IN THIS VALENTINES

Shutterstock

Time to prepare the meal that will have your lady swooning. We may have understated the simplicity in the opening but trust us. The time you put into this sauce will be worth it at the end of the meal.

You may serve over any pasta, we prefer penne, but any pasta will do. We don’t recommend angel hair, though.

Whipping together a gourmet meal for your Valentine is painless as having the first overall pick in your fantasy football league. Follow this sure-fire, can’t miss menu and you’ll be making whoopee as soon as she finishes her last bite of the whoopie pie.

Your Valentine’s 2019 Menu is: • Caesar Salad • Penne Pasta in Steve’s Vodka Sauce (Courtesy of Kandy’s very own Steve Scala) • Whoopie Pies • Bottle of Sangiovese As your lady sits down to the romantic, candlelit meal you have completely prepared (as far as she knows) for the two of you, start the evening off by displaying the bottle of wine you chose. Sangiovese is typically best served between four to seven years of age which means you are seeking wines bottled between 2012 and 2015. We suggest finding one grown in southern Italy, where the wines are lighter with accents consist of strawberries and roses with medium tannins. Don’t be afraid to request help if this is your first time purchasing an Italian wine.

Caesar Salad You could expend the effort of purchasing all the ingredients required to make a Caesar – Romaine lettuce, Romano cheese, croutons, and Caesar dressing. Or, you could instinctively find a local market which carries Wolfgang Puck’s Caesar. A third option is to pick up a Caesar on the way home from your favorite local restaurant. If you decide to forgo building the Caesar yourself, we suggest concealing the third-party evidence.

Main Course Ingredients • 1 pound of Pancetta • Shallots • 3 cloves of Garlic • Fresh Basil • Parmesan • Crushed Red Pepper • Salt & Pepper • Sugar • 40 oz. Peeled Tomatoes (1 ½ 26 oz. cans) • Tomato Paste • 1/3 cup Vodka • ½ cup Heavy Cream • ¼ cup Olive Oil Preparation: Crush garlic, chop shallots, and cube pancetta. Brown in low heat in olive oil and add crushed red pepper. Deglaze with vodka and add 1 tablespoon tomato paste and stir.

Hand mash tomatoes in a bowl and add to pan. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add a dash of sugar and bring to boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook for 30 minutes. Add cream and stir. Turn off heat.

Toss Pasta in a large bowl with a couple of ladles of sauce and torn or shredded fresh basil. Plate and finish off with freshly grated parmesan over the top.

For dessert, homemade whoopie pies. Who are we kidding? There is no time to make these. We suggest picking up three whoopees from your local bakery, one for each of you and a third to tangle. To include a personal touch to the desert, pick up a dark chocolate bar and melt it in a saucepan after the main course. Then, drizzle the chocolate over the pies as you serve. Who knows, maybe the melted chocolate sauce will come in a handy a little bit later.

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KANDY | Sex and Dating

Dating Apps Sexy People Swear By

By Alison Trask

Looking to get wild tonight? You are in luck.

Wild delivers hookups, casual dating, new friends, or even something serious. Keep it anonymous until you are ready to reveal your inner rock star.

PLENTY OF FISH If you’ve ventured into the world of app dating, then you’ve heard of and may have given a look at POF. With a huge singles database, the sexy people swear it is a gold mine for similar sexy people. So, do you think I’m sexy?not looking, use the product on yourself. We won’t tell.

Sorry guys, she needs to make the first move, and she only has 24 hours to make up her mind. If she does move, you better be prepared to respond because you only get 24 hours to respond before it’s onto the next guy.

HAPPN Hey, did we lock eyes at the coffee shop yesterday morning? Happn may have the answer to the question. Somehow it knows if we crossed paths; your profile magically appears in the app. The only catch (pun, get it, hehehe) is she needs to be Happn too. So, what do you say? Let’s get Happn!

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Introducendo la Bellissima Elisa de Panicis Besides slaying the camera lens, Elisa can sing, dance, and act appearing on the talk show Uomini e Donne in her home country of Italy. She was a semi-finalist on Supervivientes, Survivor Spanish edition.

Elisa was, in addition, a judge for a Tele 5 Italian show as well as appearing in ‘Hombres y Mujeres’ from Spain. She recently performed on the Chilean show ‘Doble Tentacion’ (Double Temptation). She is rumored to be currently filming for a reality tv series which takes place between Colorado, Bora Bora, and Tahiti. Sounds glamorous.

What about the singing you ask? Her first single is out on Spotify. The song ‘Media Naranja’ was recorded in Spanish and Italian.

And as far as dancing, at the age of 17, she began her career as a dancer for Pasha Group. We’ll leave you with this; she can speak five languages as well - English, Spanish, Portuguese, French, and Italian.

Not just another pretty face, after all, is she?

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“I love that Valentine’s Day is the best romantic day — roses, a romantic dinner, and the magic moment. I want to see sparks.

This moment is for you and your real love."

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What do you love most about Valentine’s Day? ‘It’s the one day of the year you get to tell your friends and partners just how much they mean to you. Also, you get to be as cheesy and silly about your feelings as you want!’

Describe yourself in one sentence.

I’m always down for an adventure.

What would you consider to be your biggest challenge as a model?

My biggest challenge as a model is just believing in myself.

Sometimes our biggest demons are our own insecurities that hold us back.

What are some of your hobbies?

I went to school for hair and makeup, which I still like to do in my free time. I also love to free dive whenever I’m by the water.

What do you do for fun?

When I’m not traveling, I honestly just like to relax, see a movie, or play videos games.

Tell us a bit about your most embarrassing moment.

When I was in first grade a boy pulled my pink leather skirt down in front of the class. I wore shorts under my skirts until I left high school… haha Instagram @CherieNoel Twitter @Cherie_Noel Facebook @TheCherieNoel

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“My perfect date would be going to the beach and just relaxing by the water"

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"My perfect man is someone who is truly genuine and affectionate. I’m such a real person so when I truly care for someone, I show it."

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"My biggest turn on is someone who is a good kisser."

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BEST OF KANDY | THROWBACK VALENTINES

The Car-ma Sutra

By Teddy Field

[Imagine hearing Barry White’s Voice] “You’re listening to Late Night Loove on KNDY, Los Angeles ... Fella’s, it’s about to be Valentine’s Day; that time of the year when you get to show that special someone, a little something special. Wine, chocolate, and that backseat magic only you and her can do. Of course, you won’t find many cars with a big bench seat anymore. But there are still a few cars you can use to get your groove on. And we’ll look at them; right after Luther Vandross sets the mood for us. If Only for One Night...on Late Night Love, KNDY FM, LA…” Ford F-150 Welcome back. Finding a ride with enough room to “express your love” isn’t as easy as it once was. But the Ford F-150 SuperCrew has your back, backseat that is. With lots of real truck capability, the 4-door Ford F-150 can take you and your lady far-off the beaten path.

Then you can climb in the back and let the mag-

ic begin.

The Ford F-150 SuperCrew comes with big backseat and plenty of room to move around.

The standard 60/40 rear bench has a flat seat bottom, which is perfect for Missionary Style.

If you want to get creative, you could pick up a copy of the Kama Sutra, and then fold up the seat bottoms to reveal the flat floor underneath where Ford left you more than enough space to try the Bandoleer, The Grip, or The Rider. But make sure to put down some satin sheets to avoid rug burn. Now let’s get back to the music, because Roberta Flack Feels Like Makin’ Love ... on KNDY FM …

Ford F-150 XLT SuperCrew 325-hp 2.7L Ecoboost V6 Baby-making features: Wide bench seats, flat cab floor, big truck bed for outdoor ‘fun’

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BEST OF KANDY | THROWBACK VALENTINES

Chevrolet Suburban Okay fellas, if you want to ditch the hotel and do Valentines up old school, then buy, borrow or rent a Chevrolet Suburban. You can drive this grotto-on-wheels up to Lover’s Lane, and show her what you learned in the Kama Sutra. The Chevy Big was just redesigned this year, and it has even more room than before. If you want a hotel suite that you can...drive, brotha this is it.

Honda Fit You’re listening to Late Night Love, coming to you from the City of Angels on KNDY FM...

We’re talking about the Car-ma Sutra, and the automobiles that you can use to show your lady a good time. The last car on our list is the 2015 Honda Fit, which has what Honda calls a ‘Magic Seat’. And yes fellas, you can use this seat to make some real Valentines magic...

The most ‘love friendly’ configuration is the 8-passenger model with the middle bench seat.

Fold the back two rows flat and you have a cavernous 121 cu-ft to spread out and make sweet love. Some of the positions you’ll have room for include Afternoon Delight, The Eagle, The Slide, The Glowing Juniper, The Cross, and The Hero.

Simply remove the front headrests then recline the seats flush with the rear 60/40 bench, and you have your very own little Love Lounge. You can do the Crouching Tiger, The Hinge, The Ship, The Frog, The Column, The Galley, or you can make up your own Magic Seat Magic Moves.

And the Suburban has plenty of room, just in case some of her friends want to get in on the action ... I’ll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men, on KNDY Los Angeles…

Chevrolet Suburban LT 355-hp 5.3L EcoTec3 V8 Baby-making features: Room baby, glorious room…

So pick up a copy of the Kama Sutra, then buy, borrow, or rent one of these rides to make this Valentine’s Day one to remember ... Keep it locked on Late Night Love ... Here’s Dr. Love himself, with Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Baby on KNDY… Honda Fit 130-hp 1.5L i-VTEC 4-pot Baby-making features: Magic Seat

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BEST OF KANDY | THROWBACK VALENTINES

Valentine’s Day Special

Photo credit: Shutterstock / Copyright: BlueSkyImage

#Sexercise

By Jason Rosell’s “Caliente Fitness”

alentine’s Day is about sweets and romance – this time around try celebrating in both a sexy and healthy way… #Sexercise style! Whether you’re planning on clearing the living room to make space for a sexy tango or you’re venturing out for highflying fun, here are three fit ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day!

V

Dance the night away.

What’s sweeter than getting down with your Valentine.

Whether you’re heading to a nightclub or pushing aside the living-room coffee table to make room for the foxtrot, just a burst of dancing and giggling will get your heart rate going. Try the tango or #Sexercise “cha cha” (visit sexerciseworkout.com ) – the most romantic of all dances. The benefits?

Heart-healthy laughter and a 300 calorie burn per hour.

Make a fitness commitment to your girl!

Fitness and well-being are all about identifying your goals and getting your mind set on achieving them. This Valentine’s Day, make a fitness commitment to your girl. If you Copyright Kandy Magazine | February 2019 - Issuu Edition

work out regularly, then why don’t you take on the #Sexercise Workout program and take your fitness to the next level. Or, if you have never been to the gym or have not been in a while, why not commit to getting back into shape with my online nutrition and fitness plan at calientefitness.net You’ll not only get the body you want, but you’ll also show your lady that you can get it done.

Pick her up something nice!

We know the economy is still tight right now, but if you have a few cents to throw together, then you might think of investing in something nice for your loved one. However, you don’t have to be a millionaire to make a difference this Valentine’s Day, and the most important thing you can spend on your loved one is time. Have a good night, do the thing right and everything else will take care of itself! You can’t go wrong with giving her the gift of health and fitness :) Check out all the plans, workout clothes and more at SexerciseWorkout.com.

BEST OF KANDY | THROWBACK VALENTINES Cook up some romance.

How long should brown rice simmer? How do you property pan-sear a gorgeous piece of salmon? What’s the best way to steam clams? (Hello, aphrodisiac!) Sign up for a joint cooking class and learn from a pro. Learning to cook your own meals means fewer butter and salt-laden restaurant dinners. I love LocalCookingClass.com, which lists neighborhood classes, from lessons taught by heavily-pedigreed chefs to 30-minute tasters at Whole Foods.

Meet the Writer Jason Rosell is the CEO/FOUNDER of his Fitness and Nutrition Company CalienteFitness.net and the inventor of the hottest new workout trend #SEXERCISE, SexerciseWorkout.com.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

To learn more on Jason or to start his online fitness and nutrition plans, visit him on his official website JasonRosell.com and follow him on social media @jasonrosellLIVE.

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Photo Credit: Brian B Hayes

BEST OF KANDY | THROWBACK VALENTINES is literally telling your penis, ‘instead of going to the water park that day, lets just take another lonely shower’.

Yes, by passing up Valentine’s Day you are completely passing on advanced extracurricular activities for your favorite member.

Valentine’s Day is like New Years Day for your sex life.

The day to clear the slate and start a whole new year. But, more importantly, a well executed Valentine’s Day is a literal ‘Get Your Penis Out of Jail’ free card. A death sentence pardon you undoubtedly need from time to time.

Your worst relationship crimes past and future can be cleared if you plan the night right.

Schlong Out of Jail Free Card: Valentine’s Day

By April Rose

T

he hipsters greatest accomplishment; it is now cool to say you don’t BELIEVE in Valentine’s Day. A notion successfully advanced by a powerful group of insecure drifters with balls suffocated by skinny jeans.

Don’t listen to their a-sexual suggestions. Passing up on sweet plans for February 14th

You got her an electronic toothbrush for her birthday?

Or worse, a gym membership.

You liked too many of her hot girlfriends instagram photos?

You always finish early and don’t help her finish the race.

Your ex-girlfriend texted you late at night. Your last date night was watching the Cubs.

You need Valentine’s Day more than you ever know!

It’ll take some extra time, but don’t fake it! I know you don’t give a shit, but your girl and her pack of She-Wolves are lying if they say they don’t give a shit either.

So, you made dinner reser-

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vations at 11:00 pm because you wanted to be different on Valentine’s Day? Bullshit.

This is what happens when you make reservations the morning of; that’s the only available time left. Now, every time she’s asked by her She-Wolves if you guys did something special, her response will be four letter words. Congratulations on owning that title for the month and a good two week supply of dry limp handjobs. Your reputation isn’t ruined … but you’re definitely not swooned over by the pack. Let me do you a favor because you can’t think ahead for one day in your life, cook!

Yes! Cook! It works perfectly the day of. Salad. Meat.

Done. If you’re truly dysfunctional, order takeout and arrange it like you secretly made it. Set the table, music, candles, and, please for the love of all things pure in this world, do not forget flowers!

Roses, any color. Then dessert ... will be served later that night around 11:00 pm ... your favorite flavor, sex.

A good Valentine’s Day gives you more fetish access, guys’ night out passes and freedom to mess up in the future, which you know you need.

So, it really just comes back to you. Do yourself a favor and have a wonderful Valentine’s Day... you sweet selfish prick!

BEST OF KANDY | THROWBACK VALENTINES

ou have to be thoughtful on her birthday and Christmas…but on Valentine’s Day, you have to be romantic. It’s non-negotiable. And it’s not that hard if you come prepared with a quiver full of Cupid’s arrows to hit her with in a sneak attack throughout the night.

Each shot will drive her passion higher, until it reaches a frenzy. Just like baseball, you have to run the bases if you want to score, so let’s play ball.

You are going to need the basics: flowers, dinner, a gift, and a special place for a romantic encounter.

But it’s the way you deliver them that really matters.

You have to thrill and amaze her. The essence of romance lies in the element of surprise, and not just checking the mandatory boxes.

If you don’t make her jaw

drop and her eyes get as big as a full moon at least once, you’ve haven’t made it to first base. But if you want her to be filled with passion and ripping off her clothes (and yours) when the date is over, you will need to hit it out of the park and run all the bases. That requires at least four “wow” moments during the date.

She’ll have stars in her eyes and be in the palm of your hand for a week.

Surprise her right out of the gate by telling her to wear a nice dress, and that you will be wearing some nice duds too. Even if she’s Daisy Duke, she wants to play dress-up and feel like a princess once a year. So, let it be your idea. Just don’t go overboard or she’ll think you’ll be getting down on one knee.

now. Valentine’s Day is the busiest night of the year for restaurants, and they fill up fast and early (and this year it’s on a Saturday, so good luck). Many places don’t take reservations, so it is likely to be a long wait no matter when you arrive. If you decide to go that route, make sure you choose a place with a nice bar and some good music or games to keep her occupied and in a good mood for a couple of hours.

And, if you get shut out of all the restaurants she loves, you can always get a hotel room at a nice place that offers room service.

Just confirm ahead of time that they will be able to serve you in your room, and arrange for them to bring a nice table for two with a white tablecloth and some wine or champagne.

If you haven’t made reservations yet, do it right

Instead of giving her a fancy bouquet when you pick her

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BEST OF KANDY | THROWBACK VALENTINES up or leave the house together, give her a single rose or a handful of colorful wildflowers, or maybe give her a corsage for her dress or wrist. Tell her she looks beautiful, and kiss her. (By the way, you will be doing that about every 15 to 30 minutes tonight.) Now it’s time for a surprise arrow in the heart. Tell her that you could only get into the Olive Garden because every place else was full, and then drive up to Chez André’s white tablecloth bistro, which she’s been dreaming about for months. You’ve made it to first base; collect one kiss when you let her out of the car.

When you have ordered your appetizers, have it prearranged for the waiter to bring out a vase of her favorite flowers and present them to her at the table, with a hand-written card from you. Work on the letter inside the card, and make it a keepsake that she will save and cherish. That will make her feel special, and you will have scored your second jaw-dropping moment. She will be feeling a tingle beneath her bra by now. But you’re not done yet.

This is a night for wine, not beer. A bottle of wine or champagne will intensify her warm feelings just enough.

Sharing one standard bottle or two glasses of house wine each in the course of a nice dinner won’t hamper

your ability to drive legally either. You might get an extra half glass for yourself with a bottle if you don’t overfill the glasses (about two-thirds full is perfect for wine). Do a little research or ask your friends about selecting a good wine beforehand so you don’t have to hem and haw over the wine list and then make a bad guess. White wine or a rosé or blush are good choices for non-connoisseurs, and they are palatable for most tastes. White Zinfandel or Pinot Grigio is usually reliable, and so are the house wines by the glass. Don’t worry about matching red wine with a beef entrée.

Back to the ballgame … even if she’s full, order dessert.

Split one for the two of you. It’s a nice opportunity to let the meal settle and talk … and it’s a great time for another surprise.

Before your dessert arrives, pull a small but nice gift (wrapped) out of your inside suit pocket. Jewelry is perfect, and so is a pair of tickets to a show or concert that she would love – and you will score extra points if the show gives you a chance to share her passion for the arts for one night in the future. An MMA event, ballgame, or monster truck show might not garner the same appreciation from her.

Her tingles have now made their way to her panties. [One warning: Make sure the

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small gift does NOT come in anything resembling a ring box – unless it’s a ring…a diamond one. It will kill all the tingles and send you back to square one.]

Now, if you have deep pockets, you might have a limo or a horse drawn carriage waiting for her after dinner. That might be great if you did give her a ring; otherwise it will be hard to top next year. But dinner alone is not a date. Maybe you can surprise her with a short visit to a club, where your friend who is dating her friend, is having drinks.

Stop in and let her share her big night with her friend while you get in 20 minutes of “guy time” or a game of darts.

Of course, a nice walk under a full moon is always romantic in the evening … but there’s just one problem: There will be no moon at all on February 14 this year.

Just knowing that will score you some points, but a moonless night is very dark and great for something else… stargazing. Get out of the city lights far enough to a lake or park and let her be amazed by all the stars. Study up and learn two or warmer climate you can go outside or lay in the back of your SUV and open the hatchback. Otherwise, you can open your moon roof and turn the heat up full blast. Either way, you’ll be making plenty of your own heat in no time.

BEST OF KANDY | THORWBACK VALENTINES and then take another hour to set the dominoes in place so that your vision, and her whirlwind of a night, is executed smoothly.

Chances are, you will spend a memorable night together behind closed doors when the date is done – and you should find a way to make that special too… some perfect music, candlelight, a glass of wine, rose petals, a hot tub, and another gift that fits the occasion (like lingerie or candy panties or body oils or whipped cream or a pack of Fire and Ice condoms). Whatever resources you have available to you will be just fine.

And when she wakes up the next morning, make sure she doesn’t think it was all a dream. Shoot one more of Cupid’s arrows at her with a nice Sunday brunch or breakfast in bed. It just takes a little planning once a year to make her see you as a hero all year long. Base hits are nice, but there’s nothing like a home run.

Maybe stargazing isn’t going to work out for you, so just try to find a place where you haven’t kissed her before. That will make it a memorable time and place for her at the end of a great evening. Take her dancing after dinner, and then hold her face in your hands and kiss her on the dance floor during a slow dance. A hotel room could be another great surprise, with a box of chocolates waiting on her pillow. A midnight movie in the back row might be a good place for some preliminary passion too.

You can scale all of these things to the stage of your relationship and your budget, as long as you amaze her and make her feel special and cared for. Take an hour to plan things ahead of time, Photo Credit: Photodune.net

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KANDY | Sports

ATHLETEs VS working CLASS

By Ron Kuchler Excuse me while I jump up on my soapbox and resurrect my tirade of the exorbitant compensation professional athletes receive at the expense of the Working Class. As I have said in past columns, I am a huge sports fan.

Friends and family refer to me for rules and trivia questions answers. I am extremely passionate when it comes to my favorite teams – New York Rangers, New York Mets and New York Jets aka Jersey Jets. Hockey is my first love. It must be the working class aesthetics of the game and the speed and ferocity at which the game is played.

When it comes to football, I may not be Tony Romo in predicting the plays, but I’ll recite for you the color commentary on the play which occurred before the announcer repeats what I said.

I’ve been told I should launch a podcast which would be a rebroadcast of my commentary of live game action. Some of my fondest childhood memories are taking the subway with a couple of friends to catch a summer day game at Shea when I was 11 years old. No parental supervision needed back then. Yes, I am passionate when comes to sports which makes what I am about to state that more genuine.

The point of this column is not to make a political point. It is not.

Politics are only briefly mentioned to highlight a popular magicians trick, focus on my left hand while my right hand performs the illusion. It is far easier

for us to dislike corporations or the ‘wealthy’ (as we do not have a direct personal connection) than it is for the individuals we cheer (worship in some cases) on the sports field. What you don’t realize is those athletes are part of the ‘wealthy’ you dislike. Every time you turn on the television, buy a razor or a six-pack of beer, you contribute to their wealth.

Sure, corporations are making a buck but so are the athletes and the sports leagues that employ them.

When Barack Obama ran for President, and while he was President, a recurring theme was ‘redistribution of wealth.’

Many of the Democratic candidates running this year or the Freshman congressional delegates in general have offered up their own wealth redistribution plans, ranging anywhere from 70% to 90% taxes on the ultrarich to estate taxes of 77% to an immediate wealth tax of 0.1%.

None of these proposals will see the light of day in the Senate anytime soon but it does bring up the redistribution of wealth that has taken place in America.

Except the wealth distribution has not been across social classes (poor, middle, upper) or from main street to wall street, as the media has led you to believe, it has silently occurred between professional athletes and the working class.

In America, the working classes are blue collar and white collar.

Then there is the government

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class (bureaucrats). What about athletes and celebrities? Where do they fit? In their own realm, outside of the working class. The title of the column may be “Athletes versus the Working Class”, but it could very well read, Professional Athletes versus the Poor and Middle Classes. However, since many athletes themselves come from impoverished backgrounds, it would not be honorable to highlight the silent wealth theft of the poor by professional athletes. Let’s instead discuss on the overall economics of sports and how it is hurting the Working Class.

In 1987, the average majorleague baseball salary was $412,000. The minimum salary was $62,500. The highest paid player was Jim Rice at $2,412,500. In 2018, the average baseball salary was $4,095,686, nearly ten times what it was 32 years ago and nearly double what Jim Rice was paid. In 2019, the minimum MLB salary will be $545,000, higher than what the average salary was back in 1987.

Max Scherzer is the highest paid player with an annual salary of $37,405,562, for pitching a baseball every six days for a period of six months; seven months, if his team makes the post-season.

How do all these figures relate to the Working Class and wealth redistribution? Before we examine, let’s briefly look at a few other sports. In 1987 Wayne Gretzky was the highest paid hockey player at $717,000.

KANDY | Sports Moses Malone was the top paid NBA player at $2.145 million, and Jim Kelly was the top paid NFL player at $1.4 million. According to Forbes, in 2018 Lionel Messi’s total compensation was $111 million - $84 million to kick a soccer ball and $27 million from endorsements; Lebron James’ compensation was $85 million - $33.5 million to dribble a basketball and $52 million from endorsements; and Aaron Rodgers made $75.9 million - $66.9 million to throw a football sixteen days a year and $9 million from endorsements. By comparison, the biggest earner in hockey is Connor McDavid at $19 million - $15 million from getting whacked by sticks for 60 minutes, 80 times a year plus $4 million from endorsements.

Before you get all righteous and say, “what about golf, UFC, boxing, auto racing, etc.”, I could harp on any professional sports league but for this month’s column, I am going to keep the comparison to baseball, except for what I have already noted, and depicted in Exhibit A above.

Maybe in future months, I’ll do a comparison for football, soccer, hockey, basketball, and other sports.

Now, back to my thesis of the working class wealth theft by professional athletes. You could argue, “by professional sports in general” and I would not resist such an argument.

According to the U.S. Department of Commerce, in 1987, the median family income was $30,850. Towards the end of

2018, the median family income rose to $63,554, slightly more than double 1987s.

If the median family income rose at the same pace as professional ballplayers, it would be around $300,000 per year and the cost, a fan or a family spends to attend or watch a game on television would be proportionate to the what they paid back in 1987. But it is not.

The average, AVERAGE, ticket price to attend a ballgame in 1987 was $6.21 and TV revenue was $553 million. In 2018, the average ticket price was $32.44, nearly six times that of 1987. ESPN pays $700 million annually to broadcast baseball games, and Fox just agreed to pay $5.1 billion to extend its baseball broadcast rights from 2022 to 2018.

Your thinking to yourself, so what. It’s their money. Except it is your money. You are paying to watch those channels and every year when your cable or satellite bill increases it is mainly because of the sports leagues’ rights fees and the fees are passed on by the networks to the cable and satellite companies who pass it onto you.

Without concrete figures from 2018, but based on 2017 numbers, on average $18.37 out of your monthly cable/satellite bill is paid for the sports networks. And if you live in major markets such as New York, LA or Chicago, you are paying upwards to $25 per month as the cable providers add fees to cover the cost of the local and regional sports networks.

By comparison, in 2001 $2.85 was paid on average for access to sports on television. So, you are paying anywhere from an

extra $15 to $22 per month to watch sports on tv, or six to eight times what you were paying in 2001.

To the average sports fan, this may not seem like a lot, but over the course of a year, it is an extra $180 to $260 a year.

So, Mr. Stephen A. Smith, ESPN is NOT free tv. Stop saying that ESPN has brought boxing back to free tv. When my annual cable bills are $100 higher because I am paying for ESPN alone that is not FREE. Enough with the Free TV and ESPN. Just because you go on the air and say it, does not mean it is so. It is NOT! NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS, and Fox – that is FREE TV. And if you are not a sports fan, you are still paying the sports networks fee unless you contact your cable or satellite provider and cancel the subscription to the sports networks. But good luck with that as many times the sports channels are part of a bundle that includes other channels you may enjoy.

Between ticket prices increasing nearly sixfold and the cost of sports on FREE TV increasing sixfold (how about that – look at the synergy, I wonder if it is by design), the American consumer aka Working Class is getting fleeced for their hardearned dollars. While their average salary has only doubled since 1987, the athletes they cheer for at the ballparks or on tv have seen their average compensation increase tenfold.

To state it another way, the approximate $33,000 increase in the median annual salary since

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KANDY | Sports 1987 pales in comparison to the $3,600,000 increase in annual salaries for professional baseball players.

Or, for every extra $1 earned by the Working Class, professional baseball players earned $109. Yep, over 100X the increase the working man and woman received.

I did not dive deep into the endorsements deals athletes receive and how that is sucking American consumers dry. Perhaps that is fodder for another column, another day. Just realize, as I noted in the beginning, every razor, six-pack or sneaker you purchase is taking dollars out of your pocket and going into the pockets of the athletes you cheer for... day in, day out.

The biggest wealth redistribution in America has not between the oil and gas companies and the consumer, or the health industry and consumers, or banks and consumers. No, the most significant redistribution of wealth has been and will continue to be between the working class and professional athletes and the teams that employ them. That is where your hard-earned money is going, whether you partake in the festivities of sports or not. Oh, and your local and state government if you live in California, the Northwest, the MidAtlantic and the Northeast.

I N COME GR OWTH 8 7 VS 2 0 1 8 NFL

NHL

MLB

NBA

Linear (NFL)

$3,683,686

$2,840,000

$32,704

$2,470,000

$3,000,000

$63,554

$459,204

$412,000

$160,000

$230,000

$30,850

$2,700,000

$4,095,686

$6,621,112

$7,080,316

Consumer

1987

2018

Consumer

$30,850

$63,554

$32,704

NFL

$230,000

$2,700,000

$2,470,000

NHL

$160,000

$3,000,000

$2,840,000

MLB

$412,000

$4,095,686

$3,683,686

NBA

$459,204

$7,080,316

$6,621,112

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Increase

KANDY | Movies Emma Stone in “The Favourite” Rachel Weisz in “The Favourite” Kandy says, Marina de Tavira Best Original Screenplay “The Favourite” by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara “First Reformed” by Paul Schrader “Green Book” by Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly “Roma” by Alfonso Cuarón “Vice” by Adam McKay Kandy says, Green Book Best Actor Nominees Christian Bale in “Vice” Bradley Cooper in “A Star Is Born” Willem Dafoe in “At Eternity’s Gate” Rami Malek in “Bohemian Rhapsody” Viggo Mortensen in “Green Book” Kandy says, Viggo Mortensen Best Actress Nominees Yalitza Aparicio in “Roma” Glenn Close in “The Wife” Olivia Colman in “The Favourite” Lady Gaga in “A Star Is Born” Melissa McCarthy in “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” Kandy says, Olivia Colman Best Supporting Actor Nominees Mahershala Ali in “Green Book” Adam Driver in “BlacKkKlansman” Sam Elliott in “A Star Is Born” Richard E. Grant in “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” Sam Rockwell in “Vice” Kandy says, Sam Elliott Best Supporting Actress Nominees Amy Adams in “Vice” Marina de Tavira in “Roma” Regina King in “If Beale Street Could Talk”

Best Adapted Screenplay Nominees “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” by Joel & Ethan Coen “BlacKkKlansman” by Charlie Wachtel & David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott & Spike Lee “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” by Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty “If Beale Street Could Talk” by Barry Jenkins “A Star Is Born” by Eric Roth and Bradley Cooper & Will Fetters Kandy says, BlacKkKlansman Best Picture Nominees Black Panther BlacKkKlansman Bohemian Rhapsody The Favourite Green Book Roma A Star Is Born Vice Kandy says, Green Book Best Director Nominees BlacKkKlansman - Spike Lee Cold War - Paweł Pawlikowski The Favourite - Yorgos Lanthimos Roma - Alfonso Cuarón Vice - Adam McKay Kandy says, Spike Lee Copyright Kandy Magazine | February 2019 - Issuu Edition

Dashboard Confessional by SXSW | Diego Donamaria

SXSW PREVIEW

By Mort McNamara SXSW has grown from a music festival to a pop culture festival. No longer featuring simply hundreds of bands.

The festival is the single greatest pop culture event every year. It combines E3, Sundance, and Coachella into this mega-event spread out over 10 days.

Music Festival Taking place March 11 – 17, this year’s showcase lineup features Furutori of Japan, Molly Burch of Texas, The Cactus Blossoms of Minneapolis, Yung Lean of Sweden, and Deerhunter of Atlanta, to name a few artists.

With more than 2,000 artists performing this year, conduct your research ahead of time to Squeeze in the most possible bands.

Gaming Festival As someone who has been attending E3 for nearly a decade (yes, I am a geek, nerd), the conference seemed to have lost some of its attraction. While E3 is an industry conference, the Gaming Festival at SXSW is open to the public. This year’s conference takes place March 15 – 17. Gaming enthusiasts experience the rare opportunity to meet fellow gaming enthusiasts from across the

globe as well as mingle with their eSports heroes.

Film Festival If the lineup of bands performing does not thrill you then maybe this year’s lineup of films will. The festival will feature the World Premiere of “Beach Bum” starring Texas’s very own Matthew McConaughey. The costars are equally impressive - Snoop Dogg, Isla Fisher, Stefania Lavie Owen, Jimmy Buffett, Zac Efron, and Martin Lawrence. “The Highwaymen” is another film worthy of note, starring Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson. The movie recounts the story of the lawmen who hunted down Bonnie and Clyde. The film festival takes place nearly the entire length of SXSW, March 8 to 16.

Comedy Festival Finally, if you enjoy a few laughs, then carve out some time for the Comedy Festival. The day to night schedule takes place March 8-12, 2019, with nightly shows March 13-16. We’re still awaiting word on the lineup but last year’s lineup included Bill Hader, Jim Gaffigan and Ron White.

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