April 18, 2016 by Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

KA LEO SPECIAL ISSUE

VOLUME 110 ISSUE NO.42 APR. 18, 2016

the

WARNING: Includes some mature content [COVER PATTERN] SOURCE: FREEPIK [COVER DESIGN] JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

 MEET THE STAFF

KA LEO EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Noelle Fujii

CUSTOM CCUSTO OM W WORK ORKK REPAIRS NEW & USED MOPEDS

MANAGING EDITOR Brad Dell CHIEF COPY EDITOR Wesley Babcock ASSOC CHIEF COPY EDITOR Zebley Foster DESIGN EDITOR Joelyn Dalit ASSOC DESIGN EDITOR Lauren Tabor NEWS EDITOR Victor Ong

Pucks Alley, 1019 University Ave (808) 942-9253

ASSOC NEWS EDITOR Courtney Teague FEATURES EDITOR Ikaika Shiveley ASSOC FEATURES EDITOR Spencer Oshita OPINIONS EDITOR Kimberlee Speakman ASSOC OPINIONS EDITOR Brooke Alcuran SPORTS EDITOR Drew Afualo ASSOC SPORTS EDITOR Zach Johnson COMICS EDITOR Khari Saffo

Working for the Department of Parks and Recreation children’s Summer Fun Program. If you complete at least one year of college (24 credits) by June 2016 and intend to continue towards a degree in the Fall, apply online at: H O N O LU LU PA R K S . C O M

WEB EDITOR Alden Alayvilla ASSOC WEB EDITOR Eryn Yuasa SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Jasmine Yi PHOTO EDITOR Ken Reyes ASSOC PHOTO EDITOR Shane Grace ASSOC PHOTO EDITOR Reese Kato SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR Nicolyn Charlot ASSOC SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR

Starting pay: $10.25 per hour Returning DPR Student Aides: $11.50 per hour. For more information, call 768-3020.

Christina Yan MARKETING DIRECTOR Ashley Maria  ADMINISTRATION Ka Leo O Hawai‘i is the campus newspaper of the University of Hawai‘ i at Mānoa. It is published by the Student Media Board weekly except on holidays and during exam periods. Circulation is 10,000. Ka Leo is also published once a week during summer sessions with a circulation of 5,000. Ka Leo is funded by student fees and advertising. Its editorial content reﬂects only the views of its writers, reporters, columnists and editors, who are solely responsible for its content. No material that appears in Ka Leo may be reprinted or republished in any medium without permission. The ﬁrst newsstand copy is free; for additional copies, please visit Ka Leo. Subscription rates are

OFF PUPUS

WITH BEVERAGE PURCHASE MONDAY - THURSDAY 3:00-10:00 PM

Valid for DINE-IN ONLY. Not Valid on ANY Holiday. Not combinable with any other coupon, offer, discount count count with $50 Pre-Printed C-Cards. ards. ds

$50 for one semester and $85 for one year. The Student Media Board, a student organization chartered by the University of Hawai‘i Board of Regents, publishes Ka Leo O Hawai‘i. Issues or concerns can be reported to the board via uhsmb@hawaii.edu. ©2016 Student Media Board http://www.kaleo.org/smb/

OFFER VALID UNTIL MAY 18, 2016

WARD 808 . 591 . 8891 KAIMUKI 808 . 738 . 8855

 LET’S HAVE A CHAT

PEARLRIDGE 808 . 487 . 8188

WAIPIO 808 . 678 . 8868

WINDWARD MALL 808 - 247 - 1888

KAILUA 808 . 263 . 8880

KA LEO O HAWAI‘I UNIVERSITY OF HAWAI‘I AT MĀNOA 2445 CAMPUS RD., HEMENWAY HALL 107 HONOLULU, HAWAI‘I 96822 NEWSROOM (808) 956-7043 ADVERTISING (808) 956-7043 FACSIMILE (808) 956-9962

WWW.BIGCITYDINERHAWAII.COM B R E A K F A S T · L U N C H · D I N N E R · L AT E N I G H T

KALEO@KALEO.ORG WWW.KALEO.ORG @KALEOOHAWAII

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

TABLE OF CONTENTS

the

• Consent • Title IX

• Sex, gender and relationships

• Contraceptives

• Menstural cups

• What are paraphilias?

• Paraphilias • Group sex

• Slut shaming • Sex ed

• Why I remain a virgin • Coitus too soon?

• Do’s and don’t’s of break-ups • Ending a relationship

• Long distance relationships • Short fling or serious cling

• Date spots • Creative gifts

• Sex on TV • Best modern couples

• Mood music

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR NICOLYN CHARLOT SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR

Love and sex are some of the most wonderful things in this world. Yet these wonderful things are also consistently the cause of pain, hardship, confusion and controversy. Many of us are fortunate, and we will never know the suffering that comes from loving someone who we are forbidden to love because of cultural norms – many of us are not so lucky. Many of us will never know what it is like to look at our naked bodies in the mirror and think, “This is not my gender,” but we should remember that there are others who do. Some of us have been raised in families where sex is discussed openly with ease, and others only learned of the subject by overhearing hushed conversations or from kids at school. Regardless of how you were raised, who you love, and the way you see your gender and sexuality, I know that you have opinions about love and sex, and I suspect those opinions are strongly held. These topics are widespread in media, politics, churches, classrooms and living rooms – I can’t imagine not having an opinion on them. Yet I also know there is ignorance about these subjects, and that is why I wanted a Love and Sex issue in Ka Leo. My goal for this issue is to present you with information and ideas that you may not have learned in the other settings. The articles within are meant to be educational; however, you may not agree with everything written here. For example, on page 12 is an article calling for better sex education in Hawai‘ i and the United States, and page 13 argues that virginity should be saved until one ﬁnds true love. Many of the articles feature subjects that are not easy to write or read about, but I believe it is important that the information is out there, regardless of what you do with it. In

a number of circumstances, we have granted anonymity to our sources because the statements made in their interviews could disrupt both their personal and professional lives. Despite the variety of controversial topics within this issue, I have done my best to treat each idea, fact and opinion with respect – whether or not I agree with it myself. As a reader, I ask you to do the same. Page 6 highlights several primary forms of contraception, and page 5 guides you through different sex, gender, and attraction terms. For those considering breaking up with a partner, page 14 notes some warning signs that suggest a relationship is going downhill and provides dos and don’ts for initiating a split. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but page 16 may help ease the pain of separation; it also discusses the pros and cons of serious and casual relationships. UH Mānoa’s Title IX office is explained on page 4. Page 18 suggests some cute date spots for you and that special someone, and page 13 features interviews with students about whether or not to have sex on a first date. These articles and others can be found within this edition of Ka Leo, as well as on our website, at kaleo.org. Please keep in mind that this issue is not a comprehensive guide to love and sex. We cover some subjects, but not others. If you would like more information about these and similar issues, UH Mānoa has several useful organizations you may contact: Counseling and Student Development Center: (808) 956-7927 University Health Services: (808) 956-8965 Office of Title IX: (808) 956-2299 JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I 

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

consent before kissing or touching your partner’s private areas. Although this may not always seem like the sexiest thing to do, it is important to ask. A major problem with “no means no” was that being passive and silent suggested it was okay for someone to proceed with a sexual act. Many women are afraid to say no because they fear upsetting their partners. Men can feel uncomfortable saying no because they feel like they are pressured to always perform sexually. Studies at the University of Arkansas showed that men, even in the age of Tinder, tend to rely on nonverbal cues, such as body language, to interpret consent, but women tend to wait to be asked before signaling consent. Different communication styles JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I  If you’re unsure of whether you’ve been given consent, you should ask to be sure. are part of the reason why couples can end up in ambiguous situdon’t need to damage the mood ations where one partner does not and how it should be given. CHRISTINA YAN Due to changes in laws and uni- by graphically discussing every act feel comfortable proceeding with an ASSOCIATE SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR versity policies across the country, that you are and are not comfort- act. A partner might be afraid to say affirmative consent is how many insti- able with. Saying things like “Let no and could have a negative experiNICOLYN CHARLOT tutions now define consent. For many, SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR this has become a movement of “yes We are not blind to the idea that means yes,” instead of “no means no.” This means that people must say Many universities now define consent as after going out with friends and spying someone cute across the way, yes to sexual acts in order for consent affirmative consent, such as the opportunity for a sexual encoun- to be given; silence or lack of resis“yes means yes”. tance is not a “yes.” ter could present itself. The University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa It is important to remember that if you intend to do anything sexual changed its policy last year to reflect with any person, consent must be the movement in sexual harassment me know if I’m going too far” or “Is ence that could affect him or her for given and every party should feel laws, including a change in the phras- this okay?” and waiting for a verbal the rest of his or her life. Affirmative consent does not ing of consent. UH defines consent as response should not dampen the safe and comfortable. Sexual assault and harassment an “affirmative, conscious and volun- excitement and will ensure that you imply that every sexual encounter is a rigid contract between two peoon college campuses have received tary agreement to engage in agreed are both okay with the situation. You should make sure that your ple, and no one is suggesting that a lot of media attention and caused upon forms of sexual contact.” “Yes means yes” is about encour- partner is okay with everything you you have to go through a checklist many debates. It is crucial for students to understand what consent is aging better communication. You do – not just sex. Make sure you get of moves before doing the deed.

GOT CONSENT?

Instead, both partners should pay close attention to whether they’re feeling enthusiastic about the experience they’re having and whether the other person feels similarly. Ultimately, ask yourself if the person you are about to perform a sexual act with is comfortable and whether he or she verbalized this to you. This may lead to the question of individuals abusing the system and lying about rape. However, false rape allegations only comprise approximately two to eight percent of all rape reports. This is within the context of a crime that is already under-reported. There is not an epidemic of women exploiting men’s drunkenness to get them thrown into jail. However, alleged rapists have not been sentenced because their sexual partners consented or did not resist the act while drunk. If someone is either drunk, drugged, unconscious, asleep or is unable to grant consent for another reason, consent has not been given. Both parties must be conscious and give and receive voluntary consent before engaging in sexual activity. If you are questioning whether or not you have been given consent, you probably have not been given consent and should stop what you are doing and ask before proceeding. If you feel uncomfortable with where things are headed, you are under no obligation to continue, and you can tell your partner that you would like to stop.

Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

Get to know Title IX NICOLE TAM STAFF WRITER

Title IX is a U.S. legislation in the Education Amendments of 1972 that protects people from discrimination based on sex in education programs or activities that receive federal ﬁnancial assistance. There are nine branches of Title IX ofﬁces at UH Mānoa for differ-

ent departments, such as academic affairs, graduate school, athletics and the John A. Burns School of Medicine. Members of the campus have the right to be free from all forms of sex and gender harassment and discrimination. Those in the campus community are expected to behave in a manner that does not infringe upon the rights of others, according to the UH Mānoa ofﬁce of Title IX website.

Stated on the site, the university has a zero tolerance policy for sex/ gender-based misconduct. If a misconduct is reported to an appropriate administrator, protective and appropriate measures will be taken into consideration to ensure the end of such conducts and that they are not repeated. Title IX coordinators across the UH system work with both victims and perpetrators to educate them to avoid further harassment, discrimination or violence. According to the Title IX and Ofﬁce of Institutional Equity website, sex discrimination and gender-based violence includes: • Sex discrimination • Sexual harassment • Gender-based harassment based on actual or perceived sex, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression • Domestic and dating violence • Stalking

KEN REYES / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I 

Title IX doesn’t only apply to female students.

The Title IX formal reporting ofﬁces encourage victims to talk to somebody about what happened in order to get the support they need. All reports of Title IX complaints

should be made to a campus Title IX Coordinator. Coordinators will help find appropriate resources and services, explain reporting options and appropriately respond to the situation, according to the university’s interim policy and procedures on sex discrimination and gender-based violence. Most employees are required to report all the details of an incident, including the identities of both the victim and alleged perpetrator to the Title IX coordinator. Coordinators are obligated to notify the university if an individual decides to share incident information. However, coordinators can’t guarantee confidentiality of affected parties. Upon receiving notice of a complaint, the campus Title IX Coordinator accesses the situation and ensures all retaliation attempts are reported and addressed. UH Mānoa also offers resources that can guarantee confidentiality like the Counseling and Student Development Center, as well as University Health Services Mānoa. These are contacts students can reach out to before deciding to take further action. Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

Dee Uwono Title IX Coordinator Hawai‘ i Hall 124 (808) 956-2299 t9uhm@hawaii.edu manoa.hawaii.edu/titleix

UH Mānoa Counseling and Student Development Center 2600 Campus Road, Queen Lili‘uokalani Center for Student Services 312, Honolulu, HI 96822 Monday-Friday 8 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. (808) 956-7927 manoa.hawaii.edu/ counseling

Prevention, Awareness, and Understanding (PAU) Violence Program 2600 Campus Road, Queen Lili‘uokalani Center for Student Services 211, Honolulu, HI 96822 Monday-Friday 9 a.m. – 5 p.m. (808) 956-8059 hawaii.edu/womenscenter/ programs.html

Sex, gender and relationships:

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

RAY PASCUAL / STAFF WRITER

Genders, sexes, identities, sexualities, types of relationships and related concepts are complicated, and putting terms to feelings is often difﬁcult. This is why discussing gender can be a big gray area. Here is a quick guide to some of the different sexes, genders and relationships. Next time you have a conversation with another individual about sex, gender and/ or relationships, keep these terms in mind.

A quick guide

TYPES OF SEXUALITIES AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION

TYPES OF ATTRACTIONS SENSUAL ATTRACTION

A desire to interact with someone tactilely but not sexually, such as through cuddling, holding hands or hugging. ROMANTIC ATTRACTION

A desire for a romance that can be detached from anything sexual.

ASEXUAL

A person who is not interested in any sexual interaction with any person of any sex or gender identity. Asexuals can have aesthetic attraction and admire a person’s beauty – this is disconnected from sexual desire. GAY

AESTHETIC ATTRACTION

WHAT IS SEX? According to the American Psychological Association, sex refers to the biological status of a person. This is determined through the examination of a number of factors, including presentation of external genitals (often a penis or a vagina), sex chromosomes and internal reproductive organs. Merriam Webster’s online deﬁnition of sex is: “Either of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species and that are distinguished respectively as female or male especially on the basis of their reproductive organs and structures.” In other cases, an individual may be born intersex. According to the Intersex Society of North America, intersex individuals are not obviously male or female at birth, according to society’s general rules of physical traits and chromosomal makeup. Being that it is an umbrella term, intersex can apply to many different cases of sex ambiguity. For example, a person with external female genitals who possesses male-typical internal reproductive organs, or an individual with a combination of both male and female-typical external genitals.

The admiration of a person’s appearance and beauty that can be detached from anything sexual and romantic. SEXUAL ATTRACTION

A desire for sexual contact. EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION

GRAY ASEXUAL

Wanting to get to know someone based on their personality and not physicality.

A term used to describe people who feel their sexuality falls somewhere on a spectrum between asexuality and sexuality.

INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION

Wanting to engage with someone in an intellectual manner.

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

A man who dedicates a large amount of time to his physical appearance and grooming than is considered normal for his gender.

MONOGOMOUS RELATIONSHIP

HOMOSEXUAL

A relationship between only two people.

The sexual attraction to another person of the same sex. For example, gay men and lesbian women are homosexual.

POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP

Some individuals are gender ﬂuid, which means that they feel their gender identities are a mix of the two traditional genders, and that this may vary from day to day. Transgender and transsexual individuals are not always the same. Often, transsexual individuals are those who decide that the gender they identify with should match their outer presentation. For example, a person with male genitalia who identiﬁes as female is transgendered and may or may not consider herself transsexual. If she has surgery that removes her male associated genitalia for that of a female’s, she is transsexual. The related term, transvestite, is a person who cross dresses (i.e., wears clothes of the opposite gender expression) but does not necessarily identify as transgender or transsexual. Transvestites may be confused with drag queens, however, being a drag queen involves a male wearing a feminine costume for theatrical purposes.

HETEROSEXUAL

This is the sexual attraction to a person who is of the opposite sex. METROSEXUAL

WHAT IS GENDER? Although the word gender is often used as a synonym to sex, the two terms are not the same and there is an important discrepancy. According to the American Psychological Association, gender refers to the “attitudes, feelings and behaviors that a given culture associates with a person’s biological sex.” According to Sam Killermann and Meg Bolger, co-creators of “The Safe Zone Project,” a resource for LGBTQ awareness and ally training workshops, gender identity is an internal sense of being a male, female or other. If a person identiﬁes as the sex he or she was given at birth, then that individual’s gender is cis-gendered. For example, if you are assigned the female sex at birth and identify with being female, you are cis-gendered. In cases when an individual’s identity does not match the sex he, they or she is assigned at birth, that person is transgender. For example, a person who is assigned as a female at birth but identiﬁes as a male is transgender.

A term describing individuals who are attracted to members of the same sex and/ or gender. This term is more commonly used for men but can also apply to women (lesbian). Gay is also an umbrella term for the queer community as a whole and people who don’t identify as heterosexual.

A relationship that includes more than two people. ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

A relationship that is deeper than a platonic relationship but isn’t necessarily sexual.

BISEXUAL

A person who is attracted to both men and women, although the attraction to each is not necessarily equal (e.g., a bisexual could be attracted to women more than men). Some bisexuals are attracted to people outside of the gender binary (e.g., transgender individuals).

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP

A relationship that elicits no romantic or sexual behavior.

PANSEXUAL

A person who has a sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of biological sex or gender identity. ANDROSEXUAL/ANDROPHILIC

OTHER TERMS OF GENDER IDENTITY AND GENDER EXPRESSION

The attraction to males and/or masculinity. GYNESEXUAL/GYNEPHILIC

The attraction to females and/or femininity. ANDROGYNY/OUS

An expression of both masculinity and femininity. GENDER BINARY

The idea that there are only two genders (male and female), and that all individuals must be one gender or the other.

DEMISEXUAL

A person who forms a sexual attraction to someone only after forming a close, often romantic, connection. QUESTIONING/GAY CURIOUS

Individuals who are unsure of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

GENDER FLUID

A person who feels a mix of genders. This person can feel more male some days and more female other days.

DISCLAIMER: This guide is not wholly comprehensive of all genders, orientations, sexualities, identities, etc. Furthermore, most of the terms used in this guide reﬂect concepts in American and certain other Western cultures but may not apply in all cultures.

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

Common forms of

KIMBERLEE SPEAKMAN / OPINIONS EDITOR

CONTRACEPTIVES

When it comes to protecting yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy, abstinence is the most effective method. If abstinence isn’t for you, consider using any of these common forms of contraception that ﬁt a variety of different lifestyles.

THE RING

CONDOMS

HORMONE IMPLANTS

The vaginal ring is a small ovular device that a woman can insert in her vagina for contraceptive use three weeks at a time, then must be replaced, or the ring won’t work as well. According to Planned Parenthood, it releases hormones in a woman’s body to prevent pregnancy. The popular brand name vaginal ring is NuvaRing. The beneﬁt of the ring is that you won’t have to fumble in the dark for a condom or remember to take a pill every day. According to the Centers for Disease Control, nine in every 100 women may have an unintended pregnancy within their ﬁrst year of use. The ring can cost between $30 to $80 a month, according to Kids Health. However, the ring may come with inconvenient side effects like spotting, headaches, bloating, vaginal irritation or vaginal discharge, according to Everyday Health. The ring is especially dangerous for women who are prone to getting blood clots and have high blood pressure. The ring does not prevent STIs.

Condoms can not only prevent pregnancy but also STIs, according to Marie Suszynski of Everyday Health. They’re also relatively cheap, going for $0.50 to $1 for men’s condoms and $2 to $4 for women’s condoms per condom, according to Kids Health, and are easily accessible at local drugstores. Some condoms come with lubrication to enhance the sexual experience, while others are thin enough to forget they are even there. According to Men’s Journal, the “best condoms according to science” include Trojan’s BareSkin non-latex condoms and One’s Pleasure Dome. Condoms are not 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. According to the CDC, 18 of every 100 women experienced an unintended pregnancy with the use of only a male condom during sex, while 21 of every 100 women who used only a women’s condom had an unintended pregnancy.

A hormone implant is a tiny, long-term form of contraception that is placed in the arm by a doctor. These prevent pregnancy for about three years and are about as effective as an IUD (less than one in 100 women will get pregnant if they use a hormone implant), according to the CDC. Implants use the hormone progestin to prevent pregnancy. A notable version of the hormone implant is Implanon. According to Get the Facts, implanting the Implanon can cost between $5 to $25 every three years. Hormone implants may cause an irregular menstrual cycle and a heavier period in addition to other side effects. They do not protect against STIs.

BIRTH CONTROL PILLS

THE IUD

DEPO SHOT

Birth control pills are one of the more effective ways to prevent pregnancy – if women remember to take them daily. Birth control pills use estrogen or progestin hormones or a combination of both to regulate hormones, according to Everyday Health. According to Planned Parenthood, the hormones prevent women from releasing an egg. It also “thickens the mucus of the cervix to make it harder for the sperm to enter the uterus.” Birth control pills can cost anywhere between $15 to $50 a month, according to Kids Health. According to Planned Parenthood, less than one out of 100 women who use the pill as directed will get pregnant. However, if a woman forgets to take the pill and misses a few days, then the pregnancy rate increases to nine out of 100 women. The pill’s side effects can include low sex drive, spotting and nausea. The pill does not provide protection from STIs.

IUD stands for intrauterine device, which is a T-shaped object used for contraception. According to Planned Parenthood, the device has to be inserted into the uterus by a doctor and it comes in two different versions – hormonal and non-hormonal. Non-hormonal IUDs, like ParaGard, use copper and can last up to 10 years. Hormonal IUDs include Mirena or Skyla and use the hormone progestin to prevent pregnancy. Hormonal IUDs can last from three to ﬁve years. According to the CDC, IUDs are one of the most effective choices for birth control. There is only a 0.8 percent chance that a woman will get pregnant using the copper IUD and a 0.2 percent chance for hormonal IUDs. However, ParaGard can cause heavier periods and worsen menstrual cramps, and Mirena or Skyla can cause irregular periods in the ﬁrst three to six months. They do not prevent STIs.

The Depo-Provera shot (depo shot) is a type of reversible birth control in which the user is injected with a synthetic form of progesterone medroxyprogesterone acetate, which prevents ovulation, making it nearly impossible for pregnancy to occur. Women can get this contraceptive from their doctor. This type of birth control prevents pregnancy for 11-14 weeks after the drug is administered. According to the CDC, only about 6-12 women in 100 women will get pregnant after administration of the depo shot, and About Health notes that depo shots are about 97 percent effective with typical use. The cost of depo shots can cost around $20 per month or $50-$60 for three months. Some side effects of the depo shots include heavy bleeding and irregular periods. The depo shot does not prevent STIs.

SEE YOUR DOCTOR FIRST

Prior to using any form of contraception, consult with a doctor to make sure you are choosing the type that is best for you and so you are aware of any potential side effects and risks of using the contraceptive. The phone number for University Health Services is (808) 956-8965.

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

HAPPY

HOUR 44PM P M t o 77p p pm m

DI N N E R S P E CI C IA I AL LS EVERY NIGHT 4 TO O 10 PM

Moose Mc PUB & CAFE 310 Lewers Street, Honolulu, HI 96815 808-923-0751 - moosewaikiki.com

Tune in to

90.1 FM

DO YOU DESIGN?

- A PPLY NOW to be an Advertising Graphic Designer at kaleo.org/about/opportunities

Find us on @ktuh_fm @KTUH @KTUH Honolulu

ktuh.org 2445 Campus Rd. Hemenway Hall #203, Honolulu, HI 96822 Hours of Operation: Mon-Fri 9 AM - 5 PM

APR. 18, 2016

KA LEO: THE VOICE

OPINIONS

Seriously, get a

MENSTRUAL CUP HIPPIESTINK / FLICKR 

Menstrual cups can be left in longer than tampons and absorb more. NICOLYN CHARLOT SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR

I first learned what a menstrual cup was in high school. A friend who used them explained the process to me: when on your period you insert a small cup — varying in size and often made of silicone — into your vagina, leave it in for approximately 10-12 hours, then remove it, pour out the fluid, wash the cup with mild soap and reinsert. I was mortified by the thought. Getting all up in there, covering my hands with my own blood, having to pour everything out in front of my eyes and then putting it back? I smiled and nodded politely to my friend, and internally swore I would never acquire such a disgusting device. I have been the happy owner of a menstrual cup for a year and a half. In addition, I think you should be a happy owner, too. Allow me to preach my menstrual cup gospel. Although there are multiple reasons why menstrual cups are beneficial, I will go through the ones that ultimately convinced me to acquire one. SERIOUSLY, THEY’RE NOT THAT GROSS

The main reason I avoided a menstrual cup for so long was because I thought they were gross. However, upon reflection, I decided that not only were menstrual cups unpleasant, but so were tampons and pads. Sitting in my own blood or pulling out a wad of brown and red cotton

were not especially sexy images, either. Upon even further reflection, I concluded that periods were only as repulsive as I made them, I should get over my disgust with my body and base my menstrual decisions on factors unrelated to ickyness. MONEY

I own a DivaCup, which I purchased for about $30 (cup prices vary by brand, generally ranging from $20-40). Other popular brands include the MoonCup and the Lunette. Different brand websites recommend replacing the cup at different times, but the general consensus is that once a year is appropriate. Some women keep them for longer, and one should always keep an eye out for signs of deterioration (e.g., a powdery ﬁlm, severe discoloration). I also use a special PH balanced washing solution that costs about $10 and lasts about six months. Although this will vary slightly depending on the brand of menstrual cup and the type of washing solution, one will spend about $50 a year on a menstrual cup. Before, I would spend somewhere between $10 and $20 a month on tampons and pads. Even on the low end, that’s $120 a year, and $70 more than I spend now on the menstrual cup. THE PLANET

In the United States, it is estimated that 12 billion pads and seven billion tampons are dis-

posed of each year. Pads have a greater environmental impact than tampons due to their plastic elements, but tampons are also problematic. The plastic applicators take around 25 years to degrade and can be accidentally consumed by marine animals, which can lead to digestion blockage and death. Even using tampons without applicators is harmful to the environment, as the process involved in producing them is damaging.

ommended. These moments of panic are far less frequent with a menstrual cup. Menstrual cups also hold more liquid than high absorbency tampons, so the need to change them and the chance of leakage is lower. One concern regarding tampons is the risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), even though the risk of acquiring this from a tampon is 0.69/100,000. Silicone does not support microbiological growth, which means the men-

Upon even further reﬂection, I concluded that periods were only as repulsive as I made them. Although producing menstrual cups may not be ideal for the environment either, at least the product is reusable for an extended period of time. Knowing that menstrual cups were available to me and refusing to use them just because tampons were familiar felt selfish. HEALTH AND CONVENIENCE

Tampons should be changed every four to eight hours, and menstrual cups should be changed every 10-12 hours. At best, that’s an extra eight hours, and at worst, an extra two. I’ve been in countless situations where I wasn’t sure when I would get a chance to take out a tampon, or when I realized I had left one in longer than rec-

strual cup itself cannot lead to TSS, although the collected blood can. A case report published in July/August 2015 publicized the first (and only, based on my web searches) confirmed case of TSS associated with a menstrual cup. Although the risk of TSS when using a menstrual cup is unknown due to the current rarity of menstrual cup usage, based on the information available to me, I feel safer using a menstrual cup than using tampons. ADMITTEDLY, THERE ARE ISSUES

I won’t argue that menstrual cups are perfect. It took me a couple months to learn how to insert mine properly, which led to some unpleasant leakages. Even after over a year of use, removal

can prove messier than ideal. Furthermore, taking them out in public environments is challenging. Although the cup can be left in for an extended period, there have been circumstances in which I could not avoid changing it in public. Menstrual cup websites recommend carrying a water bottle with you to clean the cup, or using a dry or damp tissue to wipe it. As someone who has used a dry tissue to clean a menstrual cup in a public restroom, I assure you the act is easier said than done. However, the few miserable moments I have had in mall and airport bathrooms are entirely worth the ease and convenience of the cup under normal circumstances. Furthermore, if I am ever in a situation in which I truly cannot properly clean a menstrual cup (e.g., when camping), I am still capable of using tampons. There are a couple final points I will make about menstrual cups. First, I have no cultural issues using them, and I do not wish to suggest that people who feel it is culturally inappropriate to use menstrual cups (e.g., individuals who attach importance to an intact hymen) should use them. Second, I strongly recommend consulting with a physician, ideally a gynecologist, prior to acquiring a menstrual cup, so you can be fully informed of all the risks and benefits involved with using one. What do you think? Let us know @KaLeoOHawaii

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

hawaiian electric presents THE 9TH ANNUAL

GROW HAWAIIAN FESTIVAL CELEBRATE HAWAIâ€˜Iâ€™S CULTURE /"5*7& 1-"/54 t 4645"*/"#-& -*'&45:-&4

Saturday, April 23, 2016 t B N UP Q N #JTIPQ .VTFVN t #FSOJDF 4USFFU )POPMVMV

Check out

UH PRODUCTIONS Check Out Game Highlights

Free admission for kamaâ€˜aina and military with valid ID ,FZOPUF 1SFTFOUBUJPO CZ 4BN i0IVw (PO *** 1I % Hawaiâ€˜iâ€™s Native Birds #JTIPQ .VTFVN &YIJCJU Lele O Na Manu: Hawaiian Forest Birds 0O UIF (SFBU -BXO -FJ NBLJOH o XPPEXPSLJOH o LBQB QSJOUJOH o XFBWJOH /BUJWF QMBOU TBMF o GBSNFST NBSLFU o MPDBM QSPEVDUT -FBSO BCPVU DMFBO FOFSHZ o DPOTFSWBUJPO o FMFDUSJDBM TBGFUZ &OKPZ HBNFT o LFJLJ BDUJWJUJFT o APOP GPPE )VMB CZ /B 1VBMFJ 0 -JLPMFIVa and Ke ,BJ 0 ,BIJLJ .VTJD CZ ,BQFOB BOE /B )PB 'PS FWFOU EFUBJMT DBMM PS WJTJU XXX IBXBJJBOFMFDUSJD DPN HSPXIBXBJJBO

@ UH Productions Like our page on

facebook.com/ UHPRODUCTIONS

@UHPRO Visit us at

uhpro.org

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

What are paraphilias? JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I 

Paraphilias and paraphilic disorders occur in multiple cultures and would likely be assessed with the International Classification of Disease outside the U.S. NICOLYN CHARLOT SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR

Sexual interests vary from person to person. For individuals whose sexual interests vary to the point of being considered unusual or atypical, they may have a paraphilia. PARAPHILIA VS. PARAPHILIC DISORDER

“A paraphilia [is] a pattern of atypical sexual interest, basically,” said Dr. Richard B. Krueger, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Colombia University, in a phone interview. Paraphilia is an umbrella term that can be used to describe a number of unusual sexual interests, including fetishes (attraction to objects or non-genital body parts, such as feet), exhibitionism (displaying one’s genitals in public), masochism (deriving pleasure from one’s own pain or humiliation) and many others. Some people with paraphilias are only able to be aroused by the unusual subject, whereas others can be aroused by more typical material. Paraphilic disorder is different. With paraphilic disorders, there is the same pattern of atypical sexual interests, but, according to Krueger, “It causes either personal distress or dysfunction, or results in action on a non-consenting individual.” To clarify, consider someone with pedophilia (sexual arousal to children). If he or she does not sexually interact with children, but is

distressed by the arousal, he or she has a paraphilic disorder. If he or she is not distressed by the arousal, but does sexually interact with children, he or she has a paraphilic disorder. However, if he or she is not distressed by the arousal and does not act upon it through sexual interactions with children, he or she has a paraphilia, but not a paraphilic disorder. Due to a lack of research and the potentially illegal nature of para-

disorder, Krueger recommends reading about the subjects in the ﬁfth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), which can be accessed online through UH Mānoa’s library. He also recommends visiting with a psychologist, sex therapist or anyone else who is familiar with paraphilias and paraphilic disorders. Krueger believes it is good that there are online communities for

I would say most often with people with paraphilias, paraphilic disorders, it’s not like they... choose it.. RICHARD KRUEGER ASSOCIATE CLINICAL PSYCHIATRY PROFESSOR

philias and paraphilic disorders, their prevalence is unknown. Within clinical samples, the most common paraphilias are pedophilia, voyeurism, frotteurism, exhibitionism and sexual masochism and sadism. Although paraphilic disorders are troublesome, paraphilias on their own are not necessarily problematic. “Some studies, for instance, of individuals engaged in sado-masochism show that on certain psychological parameters they’re as healthy [as] or healthier than comparable populations,” Krueger said. WHAT IF I HAVE A PARAPHILIA OR A PARAPHILIC DISORDER?

For those who think they may have a paraphilia or a paraphilic

people with paraphilias. “The etiology of these is not known, but I would say most often with people with paraphilias, paraphilic disorders, it’s not like they … choose it,” he said. “They can sort of decide to express it or not, but it’s basically something that’s, I think, beyond their control. … If they ﬁnd some solace in kindred spirits out there … I think that’s a good thing.” For individuals with paraphilic disorders, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is currently the most common form of treatment, although more research on treating paraphilic disorders needs to be done. There are also certain medications that can control arousal. However,

these treatments rarely cause the paraphilic arousal to go away; they help the person to control the paraphilia and not act out on it. SOCIETY AND COMPETING VIEWS

Krueger said that, within society, some people will view paraphilias with more criticism than others, though society’s views of paraphilias are changing, especially due to the internet and portrayal in films. “Whether there’s greater tolerance or not [is] hard to say. … I think there’s probably just more of an awareness these days of different modes of sexual behavior,” Krueger said. He also noted that paraphilias are still “very stigmatized, oftentimes very politicized.” Discussions about paraphilias and paraphilic disorders continue within academia, in addition to broader society. Erwin Haeberle, founder of the Archive for Sexology, in an article published in the archive, questions the use of the term “phenotypically normal,” which occurs in the DSM-V. Haeberle states that it is unclear where one should draw the line. As an example, he asks whether individuals who are attracted to people with Turner or Klinefelter syndrome (chromosomal disorders which influence physical appearance) have paraphilias. Haeberle also points out that it is difficult to create diagnostic criteria without taking cultural factors into consideration. He states that in Imperial China, female feet were

often bound and crippled, and that there was a sexual element to this act, as small feet were considered highly desirable. Within this context, Haeberle said, “ it makes no sense at all to speak of ‘foot fetishism’ as a paraphilia and to distinguish ‘foot fetishists’ as a special group from of the rest of the population.” He also argues that the terms paraphilia and disorder are “negative value judgments, not objective descriptions of facts,” and that psychiatrists would beneﬁt from using more neutral terms that are purely descriptive and do not have any moral connotations. IN CONCLUSION

Paraphilias and paraphilic disorders are topics on which very little is known. More research is not only needed to understand people who have paraphilias and paraphilic disorders, but also how to help them and those around them. Amongst individuals familiar with the subject, there is still discussion of proper terminology and deﬁnitions, and furthering those conversations will likely result in a deeper understanding of the topic, both for people who study paraphilias and people who have them. “I think paraphilias are here, and here to stay, and the more people can study them and know about them, the better,” Krueger said.

Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

When asked how one would have sex with someone who is a snake from the waist down, Williams said that her sexual organs were in the usual place, and that during intercourse she’d probably wrap her tail around her partner and hold him tight. Williams said that on an intensity scale from one to 10, with one being mild interest and 10 being unable to get excited without monster girls, he is somewhere between a six and seven. Because monster girls are ﬁctional, Williams said he would be ﬁne with having a regular relationship with a human. When asked about his partner dressing up or roleplaying as a monster girl, he said he would only enjoy that if it were done well; a hokey costume would be a huge turnoff.

PARAPHILIAS

A glimpse into alternative sexuality DAVID BOTE ESTRADA / FLICKR 

UROLAGNIA

Paraphilias, unlike paraphilic disorders, are not necessarily problematic. JOSHUA MASAI STAFF WRITER

Many people have paraphilias, although few may like to admit it. Some perk up at the sight of a cute girl in a school uniform, while others may prefer a guy down on all fours with a collar around his neck.

Two men agreed to talk with Ka Leo about their own paraphilias, what they’re into and what makes them so attracted to the more unusual side of sex. Disclaimer: The two individuals interviewed in this article are friends of the writer. MONSTER GIRLS

WHAT IS A PARAPHILIA?

According to to the ﬁfth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the term paraphilia “denotes any intense and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in genital stimulation or preparatory fondling with phenotypically normal, physically mature, consenting human partners.”

Tom Williams* has a paraphilia for monster girls, which are cute anime girls who are part female and part monster, such as a girl with a spider for a body but a human torso, head and arms. Sometimes they look mostly human with minor macabre mutations, like a cyclops girl who is a regular female but with one eye. Williams says his fascination with this subject started two years

Fast facts:

ago when he was a sophomore browsing porn sites. One comic Williams found involved mermaids, and this introduced him to the larger world of monster girls. At first, he found them to be repulsive, but the more he read, the more erotic they became. “It stems from the fascination with the forbidden; it’s forbidden love,” Williams said. After finding the mermaid comics, he sought out other monster girl hentai — a subgenre of Japanese manga, anime, etc. that is sexually explicit — and manga, like “T-rex Na Kanojo” and “Nurse Hitomi’s Monster Infirmary.” His favorite creature is a lamina, a half snake-woman, named Miia from the show “Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou.”

A different paraphilia that doesn’t require an elaborate costume to pull off is urolagnia, which is sexual excitement associated with urine or urination. Liam Jones* has had urolangnia for years. When he was younger, Jones would wet his pants almost everyday until he was in second grade, and when he was in kindergarten he watched a girl a he had a crush on use the bathroom, which created a desire to see women urinate. Over the years, this desire increased, and when he hit puberty, conventional sex no longer interested him. The only way he could be aroused was by watching someone pee. “I don’t get off so much on seeing a girl pee, as much as I do seeing them get desperate and squirm.

[Whether they make it to the bathroom or wet themselves] becomes a really tense situation, almost like in a movie, when a cop is trying to defuse a bomb,” Jones said. Jones has never disclosed his desires to any of his partners, and he’s never met anyone else who admitted to sharing the same paraphilia as him, at least not in person. Jones described a burgeoning internet community of peeing enthusiasts from around the world who meet via porn websites or on Reddit. Despite this, he doesn’t know what he’d want a partner to do for him, or if he’d even be comfortable with her performing such actions. Jones would prefer not to be peed on himself, as he does not ﬁnd that arousing. Jones says he can’t control how he feels but he would never do something like peep in the women’s restroom. *Tom Williams and Liam Jones are fake names. Their real names have been omitted due to work and/or family reasons. MORE INFO

According to the ﬁfth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V): “A paraphilic disorder is a paraphilia that is currently causing distress or impairment to the individual or a paraphilia whose satisfaction has entailed personal harm, or risk of harm, to others. A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufﬁcient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention.”

NICOLYN CHARLOT / SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR

GROUP SEX

Group sex is sexual activity that involves three or more people. For example, threesomes are a type of group sex, and most orgies involve group sex. An article published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that group sex was a common sexual fantasy. However, research on group sex in the general population has been minimal.

According to a matchmaker on the threesome dating service Three Way Dating Club, who was interviewed by Vice:

According to an article published in Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy:

According to an article published in the International Journal of Drug Policy:

> 80 percent of the site’s clients are couples. > In cases of three single people being matched, the site most frequently matches two females with a male. > The majority of clients are college-educated and aged 21 to 34. > Communication is important amongst all members of the threesome.

> Members of consensually non monogamous relationships (“any relationship arrangement in which the partners agree to have extradyadic sexual or romantic relationships”) “report high degrees of honesty, closeness, happiness, and communication and low degrees of jealousy.”

> HIV and other STIs can be transmitted at group sex events even if all members wear condoms because condoms are often used with different people without being removed or cleaned. Drugs, alcohol group dynamics, sexual arousal and peer pressure can cause people to have sex with more people > than originally intended at group sex events. Some participants in group sex events make attempts to reduce high risk sex, violence and disease transmission. > In some cases, the event is organized so that there is a person in charge of keeping order and ensuring no one engages in high-risk sex.

04 According to an article published in Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy: > Members of consensually non monogamous relationships (“any relationship arrangement in which the partners agree to have extradyadic* sexual or romantic relationships”) “report high degrees of honesty, closeness, happiness, and communication and low degrees of jealousy.” > “Extradyadic refers to a wide range of behaviors occurring outside of a committed relationship,” as deﬁned by the Encyclopedia of Human Relationships.

05 According to a study published in Sexualities, Evolution & Gender: > Of 448 U.S. undergraduate students surveyed, 78 percent of males and 32 percent of females said they would engage in concurrent sex with two other people. > 97 percent of males expressed a preference for having a threesome with two other females. > Amongst females, “53 percent preferred two males; four percent preferred two females; 27 percent preferred a male and a female; and 16 percent indicated that the sex of the other participants did not matter.”

06 According to an article published in the Journal of Acquired Immune Deﬁciency Syndromes: > According to an article published in the Journal of > Acquired Immune Deﬁciency Syndromes: Participating in group sex events may place individuals at a higher risk of acquiring HIV and other STIs.

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

OPINIONS

I WA

KELLY J / FLICKR 

Roughly 82 percent of U.S. adults support comprehensive sex education programs that teach both abstinence and other methods of preventing STIs and pregnancy

Having gone to a Catholic school from pre-kindergarten through high school, I never received comprehensive sexual education. Sure, in fifth grade we had the awkward puberty video, but nobody formally taught me and my classmates about sex; most of that education was confined to side-comments and lecture tangents. I had to learn about safe sex from television and movies where the on-screen parents would lecture their kids on the subject. The official spiel I got from my educators was abstinence, just plain “don’t do it.”

OPINIONS

In theory, yes abstinence works as an educational model because if you don’t have sex won’t experience the consequences of sex. However, in my experience, telling me to not do something does not necessarily mean I won’t do it. Across the nation, comprehensive sex education needs to replace abstinence-only models because abstinence-only education does not teach people how to have safe sex. Kathrin Stanger-Hall and David Hall published an article in 2011 in PLoS One about abstinence-only

education and teen pregnancy rates. On a national level, this survey of 48 states was conducted that assessed the extent to which abstinence-only education was stressed in each state. The states were ranked from level 0 to level 3, with level 3 states being those that highly stress abstinence-only education. Twenty-one states, including Hawai‘i, were ranked at level 3, seven at level 2, 11 at level 1 and nine at level 0. Of the surveyed states, level 3 states experienced the highest levels of teen pregnan-

cies with approximately 73 pregnancies per 1,000 women compared to the level 0 rate of 58. Now, let’s look at the situation in Hawai‘ i. According to an article by University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa Public Health graduate student Kathleen Johnson, Hawai‘i has one of the lowest rates for youth condom usage in the United States. The article cited a 2013 survey that found that 54 percent of Hawai‘i’s youth did not use a condom when they last had sexual intercourse compared to a national rate of 41 percent. The article also

between 2008-2012, 49.6 stated that be per 1,000 1515-19 year old girls got pregnant com compared to the national average of 29.4. 29. Pregnancy isn’t is the only thing peounprotected sex. ple risk when having h transmitted infections or Sexually tran obvious health risks. JohnSTI’s pose obv son’s article sstated that since 2001, gonorrhea cases in Hawai‘i have ca rising. According been continuously continuo to her article, in 2014 Hawai‘i ranked 23rd nationally for chlamydia. As shown by the data above, Hawai‘i teens suffer from the consequences seq ences of unsafe sex. It’s possible that many of the affected teens just didn’t care about safe sex, but it’s also possible that they didn’t go through a comprehensive sex education course that taught them the risks of having unsafe sex and how to mitigate those risks. It may seem easier to just tell people to abstain, but there’s no guarantee that all of these people will listen. That being said, public schools across the nation should better serve their youth by equipping those who don’t want to abstain with knowledge of how to have safe sex. However, it shouldn’t only be limited to those who don’t want to abstain, but it also applies to people who want to abstain until marriage but may not want to have kids right away. Either way, comprehensive education should replace old abstinence only models in Hawai‘i and across the nation. Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

SLUT SHAMING

NOT EVERYONE ACKNOWLEDGES IT, BUT EVERYONE SHOULD MARIAH SILVA STAFF WRITER

Not everyone agrees on the existence of slut shaming. However, not everyone understands what it is, and its potential consequences. Even amongst people who agree that slut shaming is real, one will find different definitions of the term. I believe slut shaming exists and that it can cause damage to a wide variety of people. Below, I outline my understanding of slut shaming, and why I think people should care about it. WHAT IS IT I have noticed that slut shaming has become popular jargon, likely because of the influence and impact it has had both in the cyber and real world. So, what does slut shaming really mean? Although people define slut shaming differently, I agree with Woman’s Issues writer Linda Lowen, who says, “Slut shaming is the deliberate act of calling a woman a slut, a whore, or impugning her character in sexual terms in order to embarrass, humiliate, intimidate, degrade or shame her for actions or behaviors that are a normal part of female sexuality.” “Slut shaming is all about women feeling bad about their sexuality,” said Ayu Saraswati, Women’s

Studies associate professor at UH Mānoa, in a phone interview. WHAT HAPPENS Base don my interpretation of slut shaming, the act can occur publicly or privately and can involve labeling women as “whores,” “sluts,” “hos” or other derogatory terms, or through other forms of social

call another girl a “slut” and suddenly you’re one step higher in the social pecking order. Furthermore, I have noticed there is a double-standard when it comes to sexual behavior. “Women are judged more harshly than men for engaging in the same behaviors, especially when those behaviors are casual sex or sex with lots of

We have to change, embrace sexuality, and strive for gender equality. AYU SARASWATI UH MĀNOA WOMEN’S STUDIES ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR

ridicule. Even phrases like, “Isn’t that skirt a little short?” can make women feel self-conscious about their sexuality. WHY PEOPLE SLUT SHAME I think there are multiple reasons why people slut shame. For example, as Vera Papisova from Teen Vogue points out, “Girls slut-shame other women because they are afraid of being slut-shamed themselves.” I believe many see slut shaming as a quick, cheap and easy way to feel powerful. If you are feeling insecure about yourself all you have to do is

partners. Men are studs for doing it, but women are sluts,” said Psychology Today writer Zhana Vrangalova, Ph.D. I have seen the double-standard played out by my peers. EFFECTS I contend that slut shaming can contribute to rape culture, which is another term with a variety of deﬁnitions. However, many are similar to the one described in an interview with Hufﬁngton Post by Lynn Phillips, a lecturer at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst. Phillips said, “Rape culture is a culture in

which dominant cultural ideologies, media images, social practices and societal institutions support and condone sexual abuse by normalizing, trivializing and eroticizing male violence against women and blaming victims for their own abuse. From my perspective, this can include blaming rape on what the victim was wearing. For example, some might interpret that a woman who wear revealing clothing is asking for sex, even though this may not be the case. Victims of slut shaming can feel depression, guilt and even become suicidal. An example of this is seen in an NBC News story, where Jesse Logan had committed suicide after being slut shamed. When nude photos meant for her boyfriend were released after they broke up, high school girls called her a “slut” and a “whore.” This left her depressed and afraid to go to school. I believe that we live in a society in which many people still accept rape and sexual abuse and embrace a mindset of victim blaming. Because of the negative implications these have or affected individuals, we should analyze and contemplate what is really being said when we use and accept terms like “slut.” Preventing and stopping slut

shaming from happening won’t happen over night, but change and progress is possible. “We have to change, embrace sexuality, and strive for gender equality,” Saraswati said. MORE INFO

INFORMATION ON SEXUAL ASSAULT • Anyone can be a victim and sexual assault can occur anywhere. • One in three girls and one in six boys is estimated to be sexually assaulted by the age of 18. • A rape or attempted rape occurs every ﬁve minutes in the U.S. Source: Southern Connecticut University’s handbook on sexual misconduct and the U.S. Department of Justice. • In 76 percent of sexual assault cases, the perpetrator was known to the victim. Source: The American Journal of Emergency Medicine

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

OPINIONS

Why I remain A VIRGIN VICTOR ONG NEWS EDITOR

In today’s world, sex is considered an ordinary thing. It’s portrayed in movies and television shows like “Fifty Shades of Grey” and “Scandal,” and society has developed different euphemisms like “sleeping together” to make sex seem less scandalous and more appealing. We all live in this sexualized world and cannot easily escape it. However, there are those, including myself, who have chosen to abstain from sex. Of course, there are health-related reasons like avoiding sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and not running the risk of having a child. While those are valid justifications, there’s an even more compelling rationale why I’m staying a virgin. IT CHEAPENS LOVE

There’s a reason a gift that can only be given once is so special. The person who’s giving the gift knows that he or she will never get it back, can never replace it and can never change his or her mind.

I view virginity as a gift, and I want to wait until I find the right person to give my gift away. SO WHAT’S THE CRITERIA FOR THIS SPECIAL SOMEONE?

The answer is plain and old-fashioned: true love. It’s a concept that has unfortunately been exploited and trampled on. Many movies and television shows have shamed it and turned it into a cliché that can’t possibly be true. And while there are a few movies, most notably from Disney, that make “happily ever afters” so appealing, pictures of “happily until afters” still dominate. Call me uptight and boring, but I believe that sex should be shared between two people and two people only. If you truly love someone, commit to them, either through marriage or another significant act or pledge, and then have sex. Today, casual sex in dating relationships is seen as ordinary — some even claim it as necessary for a relationship to thrive — while marriage is frequently depicted as a quickly-decaying institution of the past.

However, the impermanence of dating relationships can be emotionally scarring. I see sex as a sign of commitment. Why give away something so precious — your virginity — to someone who may ultimately break your heart?

change my opinion of her, nor put me off. I see it as a poor choice that’s been previously made, but that’s what matters: it’s in the past. Not everyone will agree, and I’m not arguing that everyone should. However, my point of view is backed

If you truly love someone, commit to them, either through marriage or another significant act or pledge, and then have sex. POPULAR OPINION

I oppose casual sex because it makes sex meaningless. From my perspective, as someone who plans to spend the rest of my life with one person, I want to have something special to share with my wife. That being said, I don’t vilify those who have already given away their virginities. While I believe it’s a careless act, I also believe it’s a mistake of the past, however callous I believe such an action is. If the woman I find true love with has already given her gift away to another, it will not

up by science. A cross-sectional study published in 2013 in the Journal of Sex Research by Terry Humphreys divided respondents into three groups based on the way they viewed their virginities: as a stigma, a gift or as a process. The authors found that individuals who viewed their virginity as a gift often put the most effort into cultivating a personal relationship with their partner before the first intercourse and that this group put the most emphasis on love. In addition, these individuals also reported that their

first intercourse had a larger impact on their lives, compared to stigma and process-oriented individuals. Another study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy in 2013 by Smith and Shaffer corroborates this data, finding that one’s experience of first intercourse was predictive of one’s future intercourse experiences. Neither study suggests that one view of virginity is better than another, but they both encourage me to wait for the right person to give my gift to. This is the reason why I have chosen to remain a virgin. I respect the freedom for others to disagree, but I challenge them to consider what sex means to them. More importantly, I challenge them to think: what, if any, special bond makes a long-term relationship any different from a spring fling? I have the utmost respect for the woman I will dedicate my life to in the future, and will not give her a love that has been previously given to another – not like a piece of re-gifted jewelry.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY: BRIANA WAGSTAFF / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I

MAN ON THE STREET

The print version of this article incorrectly attributed the last quote to Alysia Berglund

Coitus too soon? “I think the answer completely depends on the type of relationship you are looking for with this person you’re going on a ‘date’ with. If you are looking to pursue a romantic relationship with them, then you may want to hold off on having sex on the first date to make sure there is more than just sexual chemistry and that you don’t give them the impression that you want only sex. However, if you’re looking for a friends with benefits type of relationship, then I think it’s fine to have sex on the first date to see if you’re sexually compatible and to also not risk developing romantic feelings.” Alysia Berglund

YEAR » Freshman MAJOR » Psychology

“No, you shouldn’t have sex on the first date. I’m old fashioned, I would like to know the person I’m going to be with. [I like] the idea of conversing with someone to [get to] know them better before making that intimate decision. I feel that nowadays it’s becoming more of a norm where people jump to that next level of the relationship by using sex as a quick fix. Because of TV shows, it affects people’s norms and we are led to believe sex on the first date is normal. Regardless of when you have sex, practicing safe sex is an important factor because it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

Tony Zambrano

YEAR » Sophomore MAJOR » Biology

NICOLE TAM / STAFF WRITER

You met someone cute, you go on a date and the night turned out well. The golden question might be silent, but it appears: is it time to go for the home run? In the past, more people disagreed with the idea of sex on the first date, but dating norms change. Below, five UH Mānoa students explain their thoughts about sex on a first date.

“I think it depends on how much you already know the person. Let’s say you have been friends with this person and know them to a certain extent, I say that sex on the first date is okay as long as both parties give the approval. But if it’s an actual first date with someone you just met, I mean I’m not opposed to it as long as both parties are okay with it with no pressure involved. But in my opinion, if you don’t know this person too well and it’s only the first date, I think it’s better to wait for the second, if there is even going to be one.”

Dori Yeh

YEAR » Senior MAJOR » Communicology

“When it comes to first dates, no, because I am always at the phase of wanting to get to know the person instead of wanting to get up on the cooch. It all depends who you’re dating, as well. If it’s a girl that I don’t know prior before we were on a date, I don’t tend to aim towards trying to have sex with her at the end of the night. I get pretty cautious in terms of wanting to have sex with her because you never know if she is ‘clean’ or not.”

Brandon Lapitan

YEAR » Sophmore MAJOR » Business Major

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

feelings to your signiﬁcant other. Be prepared to answer any questions and try not to give excuses. This is an emotional time for both of you, so be as genuine as you can.

It’s not me; it’s you

DO BE SENSITIVE Yes, it is important to rip off the Band-Aid and be as direct as possible, but do it in a sensitive manner. Listen to what your signiﬁcant other is saying, and understand that this is an emotionally taxing time for both parties. Be picky with how you phrase things and avoid condescending tones. If you’re initiating the break-up, take responsibility for your actions.

Suggestions for gently ending a relationship

DON’T LIE AND SUGAR COAT THINGS

JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I 

Be clear with what you’re trying to say to your significant other. CARLY YASHIKI STAFF WRITER

Break-ups are never easy, to say the least. There can be a lot of yelling, crying, keyed cars and hurtful accusations. There is no set of questions or statements to say that will guarantee a clean break, but there are things to keep in mind to make the break up as mature as possible. If you’re considering initiating the split between you and your signiﬁcant other, keep reading.

RIP OFF THE BAND-AID When initiating a break up, be

sure that the other person is aware of what is happening. Avoid vague statements, make your intentions clear and be as honest as possible. One option for ripping off the Band-Aid is to directly say, “I want to break up with you.”

DON’T BE A BULLY If your significant other has hurt you, it may be difficult avoiding trash talk or being mean during the break up. Avoid adding fire to a heated situation and remain as calm as possible. Accept that he or she may say some hurtful things, but try to avoid returning similarly

painful comments. Although this is a break-up, treat the other person with dignity and respect, especially if your end goal is to ﬁnish on a mutual note. If you feel as though you are going to start saying hurtful things, consider requesting a moment to compose yourself, either through privacy or simply a pause in conversation.

ing how the other person is feeling and it can bring closure to the situation. Find a quiet, secluded area where you can talk in private for an extended period of time. Remember that a break-up is between two people – not your friends or followers on social media.

DO IT IN PERSON

Even though it may be true, do not use this line. It is over-used and generic. Your break-up does not need quotes from movies in order to be successful. Think of a better way to communicate your

We live in a generation run by social media. Keep the drama ofﬂine and break off the relationship in person. Face-to-face communication is important for understand-

DON’T USE, ‘IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME’

Although you do not need to address every concern that led to your desire to break up, be honest about the primary reasons. If you are breaking up with your partner because you are seeing someone else, or simply because you no longer feel a connection, tell that to him or her. This may be difﬁcult, but it is important that your partner knows the truth behind your actions. DISCLAIMER: These are suggestions, not guidelines for breaking up with a partner, and they will not apply in every circumstance. If you are considering breaking up with a partner, but are afraid he or she may react in a negative manner, consider contacting the Counseling & Student Development Center for professional advice at (808) 956-7927.

What do you think? Let us know @KaLeoOHawaii

TO BE or NOT TO BE? NICOLE TAM STAFF WRITER

Relationships can be seen as a fishing journey; you might think you reeled in “the” fish. Jeanette Purvis, a Ph.D. student studying human sexuality and structure in psychology at the University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa, shared some signs to make you consider kissing the fishy goodbye. DISCLAIMER: There are many reasons why relationships do not succeed, and the topics discussed above are only some of the reasons. If you are unsure about whether or not you wish to continue your relationship, or if you would like to strengthen certain areas of your relationship, consider seeking counseling or couple’s therapy. UH Mānoa’s Counseling and Student Development Center can be contacted at (808) 956-7927.

LACK OF OPEN COMMUNICATION

SIMILARITY

NOT DISCLOSING

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

We may think communication is as simple as asking how each other’s day was, but connecting on a deeper level through communication can make a relationship special. Purvis said communication is the determining factor as to whether or not a relationship could work. Without communication, there is no relationship. “Most of the things an individual needs to ﬁx in a relationship are things they need to do on their own,” Purvis said.

Being similar is not as simple as “we both love watching movies.” Different religious and political beliefs, social style and energy levels are also factors to consider. A lack of similarity can also lead to serious conﬂict if individuals’ personal values clash. Although some couples are able to successfully stay together despite differing values and beliefs, a lack of similarity in important areas can make maintaining a satisfying relationship more challenging.

Being in a relationship entails sharing your life with another person, and part of communicating and getting to know someone involves opening up about personal matters such as childhood, past conﬂicts or romantic relationships. If your partner isn’t opening up to you, this may indicate a lack of emotional tools needed to be in an intimate relationship. A refusal to disclose could be caused by previous trauma or lack of role models growing up.

“People who say they are satisfied in a relationship don’t avoid conflict; they’ll talk through it and address it,” Purvis said. Ignoring one issue does not automatically mean it’s time to break up, but a pattern of avoiding discussions of disagreements could be problematic. Addressing conflict is important, and if you or your partner are unable to do that for the majority of your problems, you may want to consider ending the relationship. Purvis said couples who don’t discuss conflicts in relationships have a higher chance of separation.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY: BRIANA WAGSTAFF & LAUREN TABOR / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

On the go?

Can you spare just 8-10 minutes - RIGHT NOW?? Are you an UNDERGRADUATE student older than 18? Interested in joining a study to help researchers know what college students think about their choice to be a designated organ donor when they renew or apply for a driverâ€™s license (particularly when they reach 21 years of age)? If so, please go to www.idecidesurvey.org. You will be compensated for your time with a $10 Amazon gift card!

For more information, email: idecide2@hawaii.edu or call: 956-9781

www.kaleo.org/subscribe/

N E W S L E T T E R

Survey site will only be open for 2 weeks (ends May 4, 2016) so go to the link SOON! The site will close after reaching 250 respondents!

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

The pros and cons of being in a long-distance relationship will vary for each situation and each person. Making sure that your relationship is happy, healthy and positive can lead to a successful long-distance relationship but knowing the risks involved is also important. Don’t let distance separate you. There are ways to make long-distance relationships easier.

Long-distance relationships Tips and tricks for sustaining a healthy romance

CARE PACKAGES

A simple way to feel connected to your special someone is to send care packages. If you are both attending different schools, send your university’s merchandise to make him or her feel more connected with your experience. The UH Mānoa Bookstore contains clothing, school supplies and foam shaka’s that will be fun for your partner to open. Try adding candy or non-perishable food to show your partner that you know his or her likes and dislikes. Whether they’re homemade KEN REYES / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I  chocolate chip cookies or a favorite Although nearly half of long-distance relationships end, care packages and the internet can help couples connect. candy, food can add a little sweetness to the care package. Your partner may appreciate types of relationships are some of SAGAN EVANS ARE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS the hardest to get through. The some of your clothes, because STAFF WRITER WORTH THE TROUBLE? According to a report in 2016 by average time spent in a long-dis- there’s nothing better than sleepAs college students, our lives are the Center for the Study of Long tance relationship is 4.5 months, ing in your signiﬁcant other’s T-shirt. “I sleep in my boyfriend’s sweater constantly changing, shifting and Distance Relationships, about 15 and 40 percent of long-distance a majority of the time,” UH junior growing into new, exciting adven- million people consider them- relationships end. Many believe that participat- Kylee Capece said. “It makes me tures. Being able to have a lasting selves to be in a long-distance relationship during these changes relationship in the United States. ing in a long-distance relation- feel closer to him.” The combination of your school’s can be difﬁcult, especially when it A third of those relationships are ship is worth the trouble because they may have an end goal of liv- merchandise, your partner’s favorbecomes long distance. Whether between college students. In many cases, the internet has ing together or getting married in ite candy and clothing for him or your boyfriend or girlfriend lives on the mainland, in another country or helped sustain long-distance rela- the future. However, some decide her to sleep in will be sure to make on a different island, long-distance tionships, because it’s easier to con- to opt out of long-distance because your partner feel special and know relationships aren’t easy, but there nect with your partner than before. they don’t see a point in commit- that you’re thinking of him or her, Although they are common, these ting to a partner that lives far away. despite the distance. are ways to make them easier.

Short Fling or

unhappy if the other does not meet expectations. An avid casual relationship seeker may also be especially wary of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Because commitment levels are lower in casual relationships, one night stands or ﬂings may increase the likelihood of a partner concealing or withholding information that the other party may want to be informed about. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS

COCOA DREAM / FLICKR 

It’s up to you to decide how you want the relationship to be. EDWARD PARK STAFF WRITER

CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS

Whether it be in class or roaming the halls, you’re bound to ﬁnd that certain eye candy with whom you wouldn’t mind studying or catching a quick bite to eat. Dating is a popular norm in college and it’s up to the involved individuals to decide whether the relationship should be casual or serious. Each choice will have a set of pros and cons.

PROS: A casual relationship often has a low degree of mutual commitment, and for certain people, this can be tantamount to a winning lottery ticket. Casual relationships may be short, fun and lacking baggage, so people in them should not have to worry about the serious matters of their partners’ lives affecting their own. There is often more freedom

involved in casual relationships, although exact ground rules should be laid out with your partner. Another plus is that you will not have to worry about hurting your partner’s feelings at the end of a relationship because the initial commitment was lower than in more serious relationships. CONS: If there is a miscommunication in the seriousness of the relationship, one person may be more deeply upset if the relationship ends, and both parties may be

PROS: A serious relationship has a high degree of mutual commitment and people in such relationships may see themselves as being “in love.” You can conﬁde in your partner and may see him or her as a reliable support beam in your life. He or she may be the one to hear you vent about your misfortunes and can often give you the dose of happiness that you need. According to an article written by Susan Sprecher published in a 2002 edition of The Journal of Sex Research, sexual satisfaction is positively correlated with love and commitment, which may suggest that individuals in serious relationships experience better sex than those in casual ones. Being in a serious relationship can also provide some stability, as one does not always have to worry about ﬁnding a date for an event, or wonder who to hang out with on Friday night. Furthermore, according to an

VIDEO CHATTING

In an age where technology takes up a massive part of our culture, phones and computers can come in handy when separated from your significant others. Using mediums like Skype, Facetime or other webcam connection websites will allow you to feel like your partner is in the room with you. Being able to see his or her expressions during conversations can sometimes alleviate loneliness and give you comfort in knowing that your partner has taken time out of his or her day to spend with you, even if it is over the computer or phone. Being able to talk openly about your concerns can alleviate the tension that tends to exist with the distance. The key to making it work is to share your feelings with your partner, even if it is over Facetime or Skype. Along with this, Facetime and Skype can act as a positive medium in maintaining a healthy sex life with your partner. Scheduling a set time, turning off other distractions and letting loose can be the key to keeping the relationship steamy, even from miles away. No matter what you do, long-distance relationships can be some of the toughest relationships to get through. However, maintaining a healthy relationship through the distance can make it feel like your partner is right there with you.

Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

articled ﬁrst-authored by Erin Horn and published in The Journal of Family Psychology in 2013, individuals who are married — one type of serious relationship — have better psychological and physical health than non-married people. CONS: Increased effort in a serious relationship has the potential to promote empathy but decrease autonomy. As you take the wants and desires of your partner in consideration, you may not have the same freedoms you possessed when single. A serious relationship requires a lot of effort and energy, so with much of your time being occupied, your other relationships may falter due to the lack of attention you give them, be it friends or family members. Distance can play a major role in attachment because long-distance-relationships prove challenging to relationships of all severity levels. A study by Margaret Plass and John Gessner, published in Free Inquiry in Creative Sociology in 1983, showed that when compared to those in casual relationships, people in serious relationships are more likely to become prone to violent acts such as physical harassment and verbal abuse. Furthermore, breaking up with a serious partner can be more painful than breaking up with a casual one. What do you think? Let us know @KaLeoFeatures

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

STAY CONNECTED. USE YOUR VOICE.

CHECK STAR STAR is UH’s degree audit system, which maps your pathway to graduation.

FB.COM/ KALEOOHAWAII

@KALEOOHAWAII

MOBILE APP: KALEO O HAWAII

APPLE NEWS: KALEO O HAWAII

KALEOOHAWAII

The “What If’ function is useful if you’re considering changing your major or transfer to another UH campus. https://www.star.hawaii.edu/ www.15ToFinish.com

GET THE LATEST NEWS ON THE GO DOWNLOAD THE

KA LEO MOBILE APP AVAILABLE ON THE APP STORE AND GOOGLE PLAY. MORE INFO AT KALEO.ORG

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

BETTER THAN SWEETS AND ROSES CREATIVE GIFTS FOR YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

What’s more cliché than ﬂowers and chocolates? If you’ve purchased such a banal gift before, you’re not alone – many others also struggle with the art of gift-giving. However, you don’t need a Ph.D. in the economics of relationships or a detailed analysis of your partner’s spending habits to ﬁnd him or her the perfect gift Here are some ideas to consider:

KEN REYES PHOTO EDITOR

A HANDMADE PHOTO ALBUM

A BLIND DATE WITH A BOOK

Memorable events are meant to be cherished, and sometimes, even captured. Whether you’re using a digital, ﬁlm or phone camera, Walmart or your local camera store is able to make 4x5 colored prints of your photographs – the standard size is 4x6 but prints are also available in 5x7 and 8x10. You can purchase blank notebooks from your local bookstore, paste the prints and decorate the book to your liking.

Does your partner love to read? Visit Goodreads to ﬁnd book recommendations of all genres and explore your local Barnes and Noble or a secondhand bookstore. Once you ﬁnd the right book, wrap it in brown paper. On it, write down keywords about the book such as its genre, setting and general character information. If you’re completely clueless, visit blinddatewithabook.com and have a pre-packaged book shipped to your partner’s doorstep.

A SUCCULENT PLANT

A SURPRISE ROAD TRIP

HANDWRITTEN COUPONS

While a bouquet of roses might be romantic, the ﬂowers wilt in a few days. If you want something that symbolizes tough and lasting love, buy a succulent plant. Not only does it require minimal care, the little plant stays green and does not shed any leaves. There are different types of succulents and they come in plastic and ceramic pots, or in glass spheres. You can ﬁnd them in your local plant nursery or in several farmers’ markets.

If you can spare a little more than the average Joe, take your signiﬁcant other on an adventure. Both the West Coast and the East Coast on the continental U.S. have unique features worth visiting. If you’re looking to explore the backcountry, starting at Yosemite in California then cutting through Nevada, Utah, Colorado and New Mexico will lead you through several national parks and breathtaking views of different mountains, plains and canyons.

Caught up in procrastination? Coupons are your saving grace. Cut small pieces of paper or card stock and treat your girl or boy out to “a free movie,” “a $50 shopping spree” or “your favorite band’s concert tickets” that he or she can redeem anytime. (Yes, they’re basically IOUs.)

In the end, what matters is that you put in the effort to show your partner that you care about him or her, regardless of how big or small the gift is. ILLUSTRATIONS BY AMY LOWE / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I

Treat yo’ boo to these date spots NICOLE TAM / STAFF WRITER

A date is a great way to know more about someone who can be a romantic interest, and there are so many activities to choose from on the island. Here are some fun things to do with bae near the University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa campus:

A day in Waikīkī

Clay Cafe

Diamond Head Summit Trail

Although a tourist area, Waikīkī is still a great place to spend the day with that special someone. Start the date at the beach to catch some rays and waves. Bring a blanket and picnic food to enjoy the afternoon before the sun sets. The best part about this location for sunset is the scenery is equally beautiful along the strip from Hale Koa to the end of Kalākaua Ave. If you don’t want to spend the day at the beach, shop along the strip, people watch on the rocking chairs outside the Moana Surfrider or explore different restaurants and cafes in the area.

Enjoy coffee drinks such as vanilla lattes, thai coffee or cappuccinos while creating your own ceramic piece. Choose from a wide inventory of unpainted ceramic pieces like mugs, plates, vases and ﬁgures. Then, outline your design; don’t worry if you aren’t an artist because stencils, stamps and inspiration from your date and the experienced workers will help make your piece a good one. After creating a design, paint away. Expect to wait seven to 10 days for your piece to process before you can pick it up. Each piece varies from $15 to $40.

For more active couples, this 1.6 mile round trip hike is the perfect bonding location. Throughout the hike, there are a couple of lookout locations for you to stop and take photos before reaching the summit. Unlike other hikes with dangerous pathways, most of this trail is paved. Be ready for steep slopes throughout the hike and stairs near the summit. However, it’s all worth it in the end when you reach the end of the trail and see the panoramic view from Waikīkī to east Honolulu.

COMMUTE TIME [TO WAIKĪKĪ BEACH]:

LOCATION: Ward Warehouse,1050 Ala Moana Blvd. A1

LOCATION: 4204 Diamond Head Rd

About 10-15 minutes of driving from UH Mānoa

HOURS: Mon.-Sat.: 10 a.m. – 9 p.m. Sun: 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

HOURS: 6 a.m. – 6 p.m. daily including holidays. Note: Last entrance to trail is 4:30 p.m., gates close at 6 p.m. daily and visitors must exit the park at that time. PHONE: 808-587-0300 WEBSITE: dlnr.hawaii.gov/dsp/hiking/oahu/diamond-headsummit-trail/

WEBSITE: http://www.claycafehawaii.com/ COMMUTE TIME: About 15 minutes of driving from UH Mānoa

COMMUTE TIME:

About eight to 10 minutes of driving from UH Mānoa COST: $5 per vehicle or $1 per walk-in visitor

N E G W O AN IM E

NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR

O D S!

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

WA RD WA REH O U SE

STUDENT

MEDIA BOARD LEADERSHIP

POSITIONS

WA RD C EN TER

Applications available at: KALEO.ORG/SMB OR

KA LEO OFFICE [HEMENWAY 107]

For more info, contact STUDENT MEDIA BOARD

UHSMB@HAWAII.EDU

or SMB ADVISOR, SANDY MATSUI

MATSUIS@HAWAII.EDU

PRIORITY DEADLINE: APRIL 18, 2016 OR UNTIL POSITIONS ARE FILLED

10% OFF WITH THIS COUPON EXPIRES 5/31/16

Cannot be combined w/any other offer. Some exclusions apply.

WARD CENTER 1200 ALA MOANA BLVD. STE 649 HONOLULU, HI 96814 WARD WAREHOUSE 1050 ALA MOANA BLVD. STE 1270 HONOLULU, HI 96814 808-947-5503 MON-SAT: 10 AM - 9 PM SUN 10 AM - 6 PM

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

Sex on TV: The best shows for exploring sexuality KIMBERLEE SPEAKMAN / OPINIONS EDITOR

Sex on TV has evolved from primarily depicting white heterosexuals kissing to shows featuring different combinations of sexes and ethnicities being intimate without clothing. Sex on TV has changed and these are some current shows that depict sex in an innovative way.

SKINS UK Skins UK follows a group of teenage friends living in the UK as they deal with problems ranging from drug use, love and emotions that come with growing up. It also covered everything from ﬁrst-time sex, hetero-sex to casual sex and was one of the ﬁrst shows to explore teenage lesbian and gay sex. It also didn’t shy away from teenage pregnancy. According to the Guardian, Skins UK was considered groundbreaking because of its “explicit depiction of teenage sexuality.” The Guardian also notes that Skins was one of the few shows in the world to “depict teenagers working out their sexuality without criti-

IKAIKA SHIVELEY / FEATURES EDITOR

Relationships can be tough, so portraying one on the big screen can seem downright impossible. Often times, films like “Twilight” have a protagonist fall in love so quickly that it feels more like a tribute to middle-school crushes than anything realistic. That being said, a relationship can benefit from a few ups and downs, in order to keep the couple continuing to work towards improvements. It’s also difficult to find a film without the classic break up scene or bumps in the road, as obstacles are needed to drive the plot. Modern cinema has been guilty of creating cliché relationship roles, but it has also provided some good examples. No relationship is perfect, especially in Hollywood, but below we highlight some of the best couples that the silver screen has offered in the past decade and focus on the healthiest aspects of each couple’s relationship.

cism or judgement.” This added to the show’s reality, as sex isn’t as taboo to talk about among young adults now as it was back in the 20th century.

ELLIE AND CARL / UP

GAME OF THRONES “Game of Thrones” is a recent TV hit and perhaps one of the most well-known of the TV shows listed for depicting sex, war and dragons. Based off of George R. R. Martin’s bestselling books “A Song of Ice and Fire,” Game of Thrones is not afraid to follow the twists and turns in the fantasy novel and likewise does not shy away from more controversial sexual topics like rape and prostitution. Most types of relationships aren’t off limits on this show, which can be refreshing to watch. Episodes embrace open sexuality and relationships between all kinds of charac-

The top 3 best modern couples in film

Perseverance through hardships

ters on the show, including interracial and non-heterosexual couples. However, Game of Thrones also features brutal depictions of rape that have drawn criticism.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK Women sent to prison because of drug use, theft and other misdemeanor crimes bonding – what’s not to love about Orange is the New Black (OITNB)? Like Game of Thrones, OITNB does not shy away from harder topics like drugs, violence and especially sex. In fact, OITNB takes sex and sexuality a step further by integrating lesbian, bisexual, transgender and sexually ﬂuid characters into its plotlines. A notable and groundbreaking aspect of this show is that its main character, Piper Chapman, is bisexual, which helps create one of the arguably most interesting and dynamic protagonists in modern TV. Another notable

WADE AND VANESSA / DEADPOOL Humor and not focusing on physical appearance

character in the show is Sophia Bursett, a transgender inmate played by LGBT advocate Laverne Cox, whose backstory in the show depicts the journey of transitioning.

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER How to Get Away with Murder (HTGAWM) is the product of shows that have pushed the boundaries of sex before. The newest show in this list, HTGAWM debuted in 2015, and exempliﬁes the newest evolution of shows that display casual sex among college students. HTGAWM displays hetero, gay and lesbian couples. It also delves into the real life struggles that these couples may face in their day to day lives, like HIV transmission and cheating. Like OITNB, HTGAWM features a bisexual main character in Annalise Keating. It also depicts one of the arguably healthiest gay rela-

tionships on TV with lawyer hopeful Conner and his smart and adorable boyfriend Oliver. As this show is set in college, it is notable for its exploration sex and relationships between students in that environment. SOURCE: IMBD

ZOOEY AND PETER / I LOVE YOU, MAN Supporting a partner’s Independence

Sometimes life can be tough. Having someone to counsel during rough stretches isn’t just a worthy element of a relationship, but a healthy one. It only took Pixar 10 minutes to show audiences one of the most compelling relationships of all-time in Ellie and Carl. From meeting as little adventure seekers to getting married and repairing the abandoned house in which they met, the cuteness overload began. It was only a minute later where the tears began to shed as they were given the news of her infertility. Overcoming this devastating news seems difﬁcult, but their romance fuels them to take this travesty and put that effort into something greater – an adventure to South America. While the two never get to take the trip together, Ellie’s presence remained in the form of the house, which Carl protects in honor of her memory.

Humor is a healthy element of a relationship, and “Deadpool” uses humor as its selling point. Wade and Vanessa’s relationship begins with dark jests - a conversation that involves competing for who is the most damaged individual. This odd humor sparks an even closer connection, not to mention the striking and sometimes surprising sexual relationship. While lust is heavily involved, their highly similar personalities help keep the ﬁre in their hearts burning. Unfortunately, Wade’s love for Vanessa drives him to leave her because he wants her to move on before he dies. Vanessa is left alone in agony, suggesting that Wade could have communicated his decision better, but Hollywood’s version of true love comes in to save the day at the end. After his mutant transformation, Wade becomes too self-conscious of his physical appearance and thinks that Vanessa would never accept him. However, Vanessa doesn’t care once they are reunited. Looks aren’t always everything, as a personality match can truly make a relationship strong.

Although the film focuses predominately on the friendship between Peter and Sydney, the relationship between Peter and his new fiancé eis a good example of a healthy couple. With no real guy friends, Peter decides to go on man dates to find a best man for his wedding. Rather than finding it odd, Zooey supports him in his endeavors for a hetero life-mate. Very briefly does she get jealous, but the two make up after they maturely discuss their problems and work through them. Zooey and Peter’s abilities to communicate openly about problems and to support each other’s personal goals demonstrate they have several skills required to maintain a healthy relationship. SOURCE: IMDB

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES INTERNSHIPS & COOPERATIVE EDUCATION (CO-OP)*

ON -C A MP U S PA RT-T IME

OFF- C A M P U S PA RT-T IM E

O F F -CA M PUS F UL L-T I M E

ASSISTANT STORE MANAGER (INTERNSHIP PROGRAM)

SQUID LAB ASSISTANT

GUEST SERVICES ASSISTANT

MIS TRAINEE

Ross Dress for Less Compensation: $15.00/hour Close Date: 6/30/16

Pacific Biomedical Research Center $10.10/hour Close Date: When filled

The Institute for Human Services, Inc. $10.00/hour Close Date: 5/31/16 or when filled

Board of Water Supply Salary: $18.64/hour Close Date: 7/8/16 or when filled

Candidates must be enrolled in a Bachelor’s degree program and scheduled to graduate Fall 2016 or Spring 2017. Students will be exposed to all facets of retail business management including but not limited to, sales, merchandising, back-office operations, and human resources. Upon completion of the program, students will be asked to work in a team to complete a final project/presentation which will, in part, illustrate their key-learning experiences during the internship. See job listing for more details.

We are seeking two students to work on a project that studies the luminescent bacterium Vibrio fischeri and its symbiotic relationship with the squid Euprymna scolopes. Duties include spreading dilutions on growth plates, counting colonies of bacteria on plates and under a microscope. Prior experience in Biology or Chemistry preferred but not required. Employment starts

Available to work a flexible schedule that includes evenings, weekends, and/or overnight shifts. Will be responsible for facilitating the safety and welfare of IHS guests, visitors, volunteers and staff. Assistants will maintain the cleanliness of shelter will uphold policies, and provide assistance while treating guests with respect and dignity. Assistants will document daily, supervise in-house

This position functions as an IT Trainee

now and runs through the summer with a possible extension through the fall semester, depending on job performance.

and community volunteers and provide support to other programs when needed. See job listing for more details.

protect unauthorized access; Assists

Job Number: 157102

Job Number: 175123

Job Number: 108902

Job Number: 162242

in the Applications Development Section or the Database Management Section, IT Department, Honolulu Board of Water Supply.

Under close supervision and

guidance of a Data Processing Systems Analyst, this position assists with speciﬁc, clearly deﬁned routine assignment such as: Assists with implementation of databases; Assists with implementation, maintenance, and support of database security to with implementation, maintenance, and support of database backup and recovery to maximize system availability (uptime), etc.

*What is Co-op? Like internships, Co-ops are education-based and career-related. It is a nation-wide program comprised of a partnership between t h e e m p l o y e r, t h e s t u d e n t a n d t h e u n i v e r s i t y. Co - o p s a re p a i d a n d re q u i re a t w o s e m e s t e r c o m m i t m e n t .

A PPLY,

Ka Le o opportunit i es

VI SIT

HAWA II.ED U/ SEC E

ADVERTISING GRAPHIC DESIGNER

MARKETING CONSULTANT

Advertising Graphic Designers create advertisements, flyers, posters, banners, and special marketing pieces for clients and the publication itself. We use Adobe Creative Suite (InDesign, Photoshop, and Illustrator) to produce said materials for publication. The advertisements and materials created fit into a specific guideline that will help you hone your skills for future employers and build your portfolio.

Marketing Consultants are responsible for revenue generation through the sale of advertising space in Ka Leo, as well as alternative advertising such as online, mobile, creative services and event sponsorships. You will develop long-term relationships with clients through their advertising campaigns, gain valuable work experience in a professional environment, and learn collaborative business skills with fellow students.

T O A P P LY F O R T H E S E P O S I T I O N S , O R T O V I E W A D D I T I O N A L O P E N I N G S , P L E A S E V I S I T K A L E O. O R G / O P P O R T U N I T I E S

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

Mood music KATIE ALMEIDA /STAFF WRITER

Slow Jams The time is right, the person is right and all that’s left is to set the mood. The right song can make or break the experience. Rhythm is important. This playlist featuring classics as well as new favorites is sure to get that headboard banging.

Crushed

I Want You Back

The butterﬂies have started. You can’t focus in class because your mind is too preoccupied with thoughts of a certain someone. You can’t believe this is happening again. That’s right - you have a crush. These songs help capture all of the new hope you have for this budding romance.

You’ve broken up. Whether you were the one to initiate the split and are now regretting it or you are the one who was left with no idea why, it’s hard to get over an ex. These songs are for the one who got away, and now you want them back.

01. Back To Sleep by Chris Brown

01. Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean

01. My Baby by Pieter T

02. High For This by The Weeknd

02. Save The Last Dance For Me by The Drifters

02. Want U Back by Cher Llyod

03. PILLOWTALK by Zayn

03. I Would by One Direction

03. Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours) by Stevie Wonder

04. I Love Ya (ft. Yo Gotti) by Tank

04. The Way You Do the Things You Do

04. Hotline Bling by Drake

05. Ocean Drive by Duke Dumont

05. I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston

05. I’m the One for You by Sammy Johnson

06. Work From Home (ft. Ty Dolla $ign) by Fifth Harmony

06. You Can’t Hurry Love by The Surpremes

06. I Want You Back by The Jackson 5

07. Slow Jamz by Twista, Jamie Foxx, Kanye West

07. Is This Love by Bob Marley and the Wallers

07. Never Be Like You by Flume, Kai

08. Be Lazy by Skizzy Mars

08. Hey Ya! (Radio Mix) by OutKast

08. Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy, Foxes

09. Talking Body by Tove Lo

09. Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley

09. Do It Again by Pia Mia, Chris Brown, Tyga

10. Coffee by Miguel, Wale

10. YOUTH by Troye Sivan

10. Where Are U Now

11. Best I Ever Had by Drake

11. Say You Like Me by We The Kings

11. Build it Better by Aron Wright

12. L$D by A$AP Rocky

12. Falling in Love (with My Best Friend) by Matt White

12. Haunting by Halsey

13. Bed Peace by Jhene Aiko, Childish Gambino

13. Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko

13. Hoiw Come You Don’t Want Me by Tegan and Sara

14. Partition by Beyonce

14. This Kiss by Faith Hill

14. Boomerang by The Summer Set

15. Marvin & Chardonnay

15. Classic by MKTO

15. The One That Got Away by Katy Perry

16. Get On Your Knees by Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande

16. Roman Holiday by Halsey

16. It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday by Boyz II Men

17. Hands to Myself by Selena Gomez

17. If You Ever Want To Be In Love by James Bay

17. If I Could Change Your Mind by Haim

18. Bad Intentions by Niykee Heaton

18. Not a Bad Thing by Justin Timberlake

18. One Last Time by Ariana Grande

19. Neighbors Know My Name by Trey Songz

19. Love Somebody by Maroon 5

19. Half A Heart by One Direction

20. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

20. Crush by David Archuleta

20. I Wish You Would by Taylor Swift

by Big Sean, Kanye West, Roscoe Dash

by The Temptations

by Justin Bieber, Jack U, Skrillex, Diplo

ILLUSTTRATIONS BY AMY LOWE & BRYE KOBAYASHI / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I

2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE

STAY CONNECTED. USE YOUR VOICE. ANGELES TIMESPUZZLE WEEKLYLOS CROSSWORD DAILY CROSSWORD PUZZLE Provided by Puzzle Junction Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Lewis

ACROSS 1 Wine holder 4 Billiards shot 9 Hoagies 13 Spanish cheer 14 Reference book 15 Snares 17 Hit the jackpot 18 Christmas songs 19 Sharpshooter Oakley 20 Classroom ac vity for lower grades 23 Compass heading 24 Narrow ridges 25 Taxes 27 Preceded 28 Stock units 30 Fissile rock 33 US territory 34 Kind of collar 37 Heavy weight 38 The It Girl Bow 39 Dutch city 40 Himalayan legend 42 Bee house 43 White heron 45 Drink 47 Ar culate 48 Descend a mountain 50 Brownish-orange horse 53 Notable period 54 Like some ins tu ons 58 Bridal path 60 Incensed 61 Comic Charlo e 62 Alloy 63 Sounds of disappointment 64 Egg cells 65 Blubbers 66 Beginning 67 Traﬃ c stopper

OPEN LATE

DOWN 1 Wedding words 2 Hilo hello 3 Singing voice 4 Sea cows 5 Repented 6 Iditarod items 7 Seasoner 8 To be, to Brutus 9 More hackneyed 10 Ornamental vase 11 First underfourminute man 12 Backbone 16 Stitches 21 Water source 22 Peruvian beast 26 Victory sign 28 Debonair 29 Rabbit relative 30 Hog haven 31 Tiller’s tool 32 It. appetizer 33 Smooth-tongued 35 Literary piece 36 Tennis court divider 38 Hot dish 41 Rascal 43 Sincere 44 Greek sandwich 46 Asian pepper plants 47 Mollify 48 Enlarge, as a hole 49 Zodiac sign 50 Some carpets 51 Mistake 52 Exit 55 Soybean paste 56 Ireland 57 Before heat or head 59 Chem classroom

GO TO: kaleo.org FOR THE ANSWERS TO OUR TO : KA L E O . O R G f o r t h e a n sw e rs to WEEKLY w e e k l yCROSSWORD c ro s sw o rd

No minimum for delivery!

@KALEOOHAWAII

KALEOOHAWAII

KALEO O HAWAII

@KALEOOHAWAII

# U S E Y O U R V O I C E To solve the Sudoku puzzle, each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the numbers 1 to 9.

Go to kaleo.org for the answers to our weekly Sudoku puzzle

Value Menu starts at

$7.50 Order Online dominos.com or Use your App

GET MĀNOAʻS TOP STORIES IN A SNAP! KALEOOHAWAII

ADD US ON SNAPCHAT 1. Open Snapchat app 2. Point camera at our ghost icon on the left 3. Tap your screen 4. Yay! We are friends We will keep you up to date with what is happening on campus.

2424 S. Beretania St. 808.744.2283

our

KALEO.ORG/OPPORTUNITIES

KA LEO: THE VOICE

APR. 18, 2016

A [ 0 RT 4 +F .1 L 5 EA .1 6 /C ] A

MAHALO

FOR JOINING US!

O TO

AT H

KA W A

KA W

BA U

ST A

AT H

KA W A

thanks to everyone who helped make this event a huge success. stay tuned for more!