Why Am I a Christian?

Eli Ten Eyck, 2022 Why Am I a

“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15, ESV).

Have you ever spent time with a younger sibling, or perhaps a niece, nephew, or cousin—just any little kid really—and found yourself on the receiving end of the much-dreaded question: “why?” If you haven’t, it is truly a memorable experience. This question is intimidating because it often requires a surprisingly complex answer and quickly leads to an almost endless chain of whys. In theory, this line of questioning ends at some assumed philosophical truth which all other beliefs rest upon. As a Christian, all of my beliefs and perceptions should be connected to my Faith. Believing in a benevolent, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent creator who cares about the way I live has implications for my every action and aspiration. So, when I am faced with a chain of whys, I suppose the real question that must be answered is this: Why am I a Christian? The answer is twofold: relationship and reason. When I am asked to give a defense of my Faith, my first instinct is to give logical arguments; however, the truth is that my Christianity did not initially spring from my exercise of reason. I am a Christian because my Faith makes life worth living. It is the most consistently wonderful thing that I have, and it is because following Christ is not merely a set of rules, a collection of useful anecdotes, or even a warm fuzzy to cling to when the storm of life rages. Rather, it is a relationship. While it is the most difficult aspect of Christianity for me to accurately articulate, the experience of living in a relationship with God, however imperfectly I do it, is the chief reason that I am a Christian. It is a relationship that frees me from the bonds of mere religion. Religion, to me, is but an institutionalized tool for appeasing higher powers, while Christianity is so much more because it rests on the idea that God’s justice has already been appeased. All that we can offer is our willingness to receive a most precious gift: reconciliation to our maker.1 But what does this

1. Christians believe that humans were originally created to live in peace with God, that we fell from this calling as a result of the first sin, and that, reconciliation—this relationship—with Christ look like on a day-to-day basis, and what are its effects?

My relationship with God has most clearly taken the form of daily communication, obedience to His directions, and study of the letter that I am convinced He wrote to us to convey His nature: the Bible. This might sound mundane, but in practice it is both refreshing and exciting because it has not been a one-sided pursuit. Contrary to the popular Epicurean notion,2 God has not been silent. When I pray and actively listen, answers are almost always revealed. That does not mean I always get what I want, but there is ever an improvement of perspective or a noticeable change in circumstances following (and, I am convinced, as a result of) communication with God. It happens too regularly for chance. For some time, I kept a journal of prayers and was able to watch as old prayers, concerns, and questions were gradually answered. Some were simple, others were not, but all were eventually granted, denied, or made more clear. And even in the times when I fell away and failed to reach out to God, He was faithful. I could still see my old petitions being resolved around me, and some event (good or ill) would inevitably draw me back to the arms of grace, where I found waiting not a vengeful and vindictive tyrant, but an understanding and forgiving Father. I have heard it said that the purpose of prayer is not to receive one’s desires, but rather to understand and

through Christ’s sacrifice, we may one day be able to harmonize with our maker again. 2. Epicurus held the belief that, as the Gods were blessed and immortal, they could not be disturbed by human affairs, nor would they take on an active role of affirming or criticizing mortals. By this reasoning, God would be silent as far as we are concerned.

Christian?

submit to God’s will. Under this definition, I cannot recall a prayer of mine that has gone unanswered. Furthermore, the feeling of peace that follows such an experience is life-giving. Without a God upon whom to cast my anxieties, it is doubtful that I should long retain my sanity.

Beyond my personal experience of God, living as a Christian has had broader effects on my life—effects both manifold and wonderful, which further confirm its powerful goodness. Most prominent of these are a lack of chaos in familial relationships, an inner peace, and a set of values that dictate my treatment of others. From my earliest memories, I was taught that I was the unique and valued creation of a loving God, and that I should act as such. This involved loving others, extending forgiveness, and attempting to live in accordance with the law of God.3 I had far from a perfect childhood, but it was one that gave me firm philosophical groundings for my identity and purpose. I was a child of God destined to joyfully love and live well on Earth and to one day be united with my heavenly Father.

Dark times were more easily navigated because I had a perspective of hope and an understanding that neither my failures nor my successes could define me. All of this was because of my Faith in Christ.

In this way, I was empirically convinced that my Faith was well-grounded and worthwhile long before I thought to explore other avenues of assurance. However, I believe in a God who, though He requires faith, also claims “For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes– namely, his eternal power and divine nature– have been perceived ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”4 Because of this, when I reached a certain age, I began to look into my faith from a rational perspective, trying to determine if I was justified in believing the seemingly impossible claims laid out in the Bible. I did not expect to prove anything entirely, but explore how my Faith and my rationality could be reconciled. So, was there a God?

In seeking an answer, I turned first to philosophy. Francis Bacon, a 17th century thinker and statesman who is attributed with developing an early form of the scientific method, once said, “a little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism; but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds about to religion.”5 I had heard this saying before and wished to discover what truth lay behind it. I came upon several philosophical models that attempted to prove the existence of a God, but the most compelling was Aristotle’s argument that there must exist an ‘unmoved mover.’ In the Physics, he

3. See the Bible, particularly Deuteronomy 6:7 for reference. 5. Bacon, Francis. “Of Atheism.” Essays, Civil and Moral.

makes an argument that goes as such: of sentient life. Even our best guesses have abundance and complexity of life on everything has a cause, so unless we fallen into disrepute. Earth becomes wonderful evidence for an think that there exists an infinite chain of intentional and intelligent designer.10 All causes,6 there must be something—prob- I remember being taught in school that of this is to say, without inserting a ably some being—that is the first cause life arose from the random ordering of God into the equation, our physical of everything.7 And just as our chain of amino acids that formed as lightning existence is really quite miraculous, not whys must end at some core beliefs, the struck pools of water containing the basic to mention our conscious existence. chain of causes must have some end; an elements necessary for organic life, and Therefore, I concluded that it is at least end that exists outside of the universe that this was proven possible by the Miller- not irrational to believe in God, especially and which is not subject Urey experiment (where a recreation of given my personal experience with Him. to its laws. these conditions combined with electric However, I was still uncertain that current yielded the building blocks for the Biblical claims about Him could This sounds very much like the God amino acids). However, in my search, I be trusted. presented in the Abrahamic religions. found that the Miller-Urey experiment Bacon noted the same observation. overestimated the presence of methane To this end, I explored the credibility of He wrote, “For while the mind of man and grossly underestimated that of oxy- the Bible and the life of Jesus. The Bible is looketh upon second causes scattered, gen in Earth’s early atmosphere. When the a collection of 66 books authored by a it may sometimes rest in them, and go experiment was repeated with the new diverse collection of individuals, containing no further; but when it beholdeth the proportions, it failed.9 one coherent and continuous story. It is chain of them, confed- the most verified antierate and linked together, it must needs fly to Providence and Deity.”8 “without inserting a quity on Earth. Some people like to point to alleged inconsistencies, The basic principle of gaps, and impossible this argument is the same as the question at the heart of the search God into the equation, claims laid out in the Bible as evidence for its fallibility. However, for the beginning of the universe and life: How did the universe begin, our physical existence very few, if any, of these are central to the theme of the Bible. Most of the and why? I had been told that the is really quite inconsistencies that cause objections reflect misunderstandings of answer lay in the Big textual meaning rather Bang Theory (which greatly resembles the account presented in miraculous” than real fallacies. In fact, the often cited “contradictions” in the Genesis), but while that Gospels of Matthew, does seek to answer the how of the uni- But even if I were to grant that life could Mark, Luke, and John bolster the crediverse, it cannot express the why. I realized come to be in such a manner, it still didn’t bility of the text rather than harm it, that declaring the Big Bang the final an- make sense to me that life has become so since the central message is undistorted swer to our search for origin is the same complex without any divine inspiration. and different complementary details are fallacy of mistaking secondary causes for At this point, I stumbled upon Michael noted by each author (as would be expectbeginnings that Bacon warns us of. Why Behe’s research concerning irreducible ed in any retelling of a story by separate does something arise from nothing? We complexity, which shows that there are individuals).11 There is also historical corobserve that this is impossible in our every- some mechanisms present in living roboration for many Biblical accounts. day experiences. Everything has a cause, organisms that cannot arise purely from Old Testament prophecies regarding the and nothing spontaneously generates it- evolution as we understand it. The theory destruction of Tyre and Edom, the coming self. We also cannot explain the existence of irreducible complexity in bacteria of a King Cyrus who would rebuild the (the idea that even the smallest and most ancient form of life is so complex, fragile, 6. An infinite chain of causes is logically problematic, as Aristotle notes, because it lacks a and codependent that evolution becomes significantly less plausible as one studies 10. “Three Flagellum Updates Amplify Behe’s Challenge to Darwinism from Irreducible first term. We observe that all things have causes, it) has arisen in the study of microorgan- Complexity.” Evolution News & Science Today, 26 and that the universe is not infinite (temporally or isms. Since we cannot yet fathom how life October 2017, https://evolutionnews.org/2017/10/ spatially), therefore there must exist an initial force. could be created in the first place, the rich with-three-flagellum-updates-research-amplifiesFurthermore, it makes sense that an initial force behes-challenge-to-darwinism-from-irreduciblethat could cause the creation of the universe would complexity/, accessed 26 April 2019. exist beyond and outside of it, not being subject to 11. In Lee Strobel’s The Case for Christ, he its laws. 9. “Earth’s Early Atmosphere.” Astrobiology notes that during interrogations of witnesses, 7. Aristotle, Physics, Oxford, 1991. Magazine, 2 December 2011, https://www.astrobio. investigators are wary of identical stories, as 8. Bacon, Francis. “Of Atheism.” Essays, Civil and net/geology/earths-early-atmosphere/, accessed 25 they are an indication that the stories might be a Moral. April 2019 fabrication.

temple, and the rise of the four great empires (Babylonian, Persian, Greek, and Roman) have all been proven accurate by history.12 Recent archaeological finds have suggested that King David and King Solomon were real figures. But, if minor mismatching is of great concern, it then follows to examine the authenticity and reliability of the documents themselves.13

Two main features of the reliability of ancient texts, which are used to judge all antiquities, are: the number of manuscripts we have found and the time gap between the events and their written recording. The early New Testament texts have a gap of about 50 years and there exist over 5,000 copies and fragments. In comparison, the time gaps of Homer, Livy, Herodotus, and Plato range from 4001350 years, and the amount of copies ranges from 90-2,000. The Old Testament has been verified by the recent discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls.14 The historical figure of Jesus is accepted without objection because of the accounts of Tacitus, Josephus, the Babylonian Talmud, and Lucian.15 Yet, the existence of Jesus is not what is at issue. Christians believe that Jesus was executed and resurrected—and this is where the real controversy lies.

All of Christianity rests upon Jesus’ resurrection. But surely no one can die, remain dead for three days, and then miraculously return to life. Why would anyone believe such a story? Why would anyone be willing to die for it? I thought it would be hard to find suitable answers to these questions 2,000 years after the fact, but it turned out that Lee Strobel, an atheist journalist for The Chicago Tribune, had preceded me in this quest. Attempting to disprove God, he recorded his investigation in The Case for Christ, and, as the name implies, it did not go as he intended. Once he confirmed that the New Testament was accurate, Strobel realized the significant fact was that the disciples went from cowering in hiding after Jesus’ death to believing in Jesus’ resurrection

12. Konig, Ray. Konig, George. 100 Prophecies. 3rd Edition, International Bible Society, 1984. 13. Berkowitz 14. McDowell, Josh and Sean McDowell. Evidence that Demands a Verdict, HarperCollins, 2017. 15. Gleghorn, Michael. “Ancient Evidence for Jesus from Non-Christian Sources.” Probe.org, 30 August 2014. https://probe.org/ancient-evidencefor-jesus-from-non-christian-sources-2/, accessed 24 April 2019. with such conviction that they were willing to be tortured and executed for it. His research into the matter shows that the most logical explanation for the complete transformation of the attitudes of Jesus’ followers, as well as the undisputed accounts of Jesus’ appearance to many after his death, is that he truly was the Messiah. The scientific objections to this happening are valid, yet it is important to consider that if God is greater than the universe, as our previously discussed philosophical arguments suggest, then miracles would not be so implausible.

There are even modern day occurrences that are devoid of explanation, such as the recent miraculous recovery of John Smith from St. Charles, MO. He drowned in an icy lake, lay submerged for 15 minutes, and was dead for 43 minutes. When allowed in to say goodbye, his mother grasped his ankle, screamed out a prayer, and his heart began beating again. Not only was his return to life shocking, but against all odds, he had no lasting brain damage.16 This story and others like it must at least cause us to pause and consider how little we know about the nature of our world and our being.17 It seems impossible for Jesus to have risen from the dead; yet, from a historical standpoint, the evidence for his resurrection is strong. It seems impossible that John Smith could be alive today; yet, he still lives.

So, when I am asked the ultimate question of why—why do I choose to follow Jesus Christ—I believe I may answer with confidence that I am compelled by both reason and the experience of a life-giving personal relationship to have such Faith. While I freely admit that neither of these (my relationship or reason) can act as definitive proof for others, I do believe that they provide compelling evidence that ought to inspire us all to take a deeper look at what our chain of whys is rooted in.18 We all cling to something;

16. Weich, Susan. “4 Years Ago, a St. Charles Teen was Under a Frozen Lake for 15 Minutes. His Resurrection Story has Inspired a New Movie.” St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 19 January 2019, https:// www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/health-med-fit/ years-ago-a-st-charles-teen-was-under-a-frozen/ article_43db7316-908b-5805-86e5-01fdc8eee581. html. 17. Strobel, Lee. The Case for Christ. Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI, 1998. 18. One important point to note is that a central theme of Christianity is our ability to choose we all hold basic assumptions that dictate how we live. Each of us has an unprovable faith in something, even if it is in ourselves. A house can only be as good as its foundation, and similarly we are often limited by what is at our core. Francis Bacon wrote, “They that deny a God, destroy man’s nobility; for certainly man is of kin to the beasts, by his body; and, if he be not of kin to God, by his spirit, he is a base and ignoble creature.”19 He illustrates this idea by comparing it to how a dog, by nature common and self-interested, becomes a courageous and virtuously selfsacrificial being when loved and disciplined by a human master (who acts in the place of a God). In other words, we can accept a materialist account that degrades the importance of our existence, or we can believe that we are inherently valued because we were meticulously created for a purpose and called good. The experience of having the truths that the Bible proclaims about me—I am loved, I am desired, I am reconciled—at the center of my being and the knowledge that these are grounded in a bevy of rational evidence is what makes me want to be a Christian. It is my why. And if, like me, you wish to explore the existential question that ever resonates within us, crying out in a cacophony of whys, I hope and pray that it can also be yours.

whether or not to believe. If God could be proven beyond any reasonable doubt, rational people could hardly be considered to have a choice. Assuming this God exists, there ought to be enough evidence to point towards him without robbing us of our choice. 19. Bacon, Francis. “Of Atheism.” Essays, Civil and Moral.