Life Basics Boot Camp

HANDBOOK L if e Basics Boot Camp Building Difference Makers

Life Legacy Team

Handbook for Life Basics Boot Camp

CONTENTS Introduction

2

Thinking like Winners

4

Making Winning Decisions

6

Building Authentic Relationships

7

Following the Golden Rule

9

Spending Money Wisely

11

Using Time Wisely

13

Avoiding Life Pot Holes

15

The Life Basics Toolkit Contents • Winning Thinking Template • Decision-Making Template • Instructions for Preparing a Budget • Monthly Budget Template • Time Inventory Template • Daily THINGS TO DO Template

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Introduction Men like to compete, win, and celebrate in sports and their careers. We can only imagine what their lives would be like if only they could achieve this in the game that matters most—the game of life. What a difference this would make if their lives were fueled by a purpose and a plan which resulted in building a life legacy of being difference-makers who helped make relevant differences on lives.

Most men don’t get into the game of life because they don’t get prepared by first learning how to think like winners. As a result, they merely sit on the sideline with a fear of having to get in this game because their mind has been captured in a box which most men are not aware. Escaping this box must become a life priority for those who want to become a difference-maker.

Introducing Life Basics Boot Camp Only a few men have been trained regarding the most important things which impact every decision they will make during their life journey. These are described as the life basics. It is our hope that one day this boot camp will be remembered by younger generations of men as one of one of the more rewarding life learning experiences in which they ever participated; this is because of having a highly relevant impact regarding how they choose to interact with others, and how they use their resources of time and money.

The purpose of Life Basics Boot Camp is to engage men in conversations, share lessons learned, and provide practical tools regarding the seven (7) best practices that help men build the type of foundation needed to win the game of life. A list of these practices and a brief description of their importance follows: 1 Thinking Like Winners Winning men think differently than most men regarding how they use their minds and their resources daily. This is a key life insight that needs to be shared with those you care about because there is a right way and a wrong way to think. As a result, we have developed a process to guide men to think in a manner which is focused on achieving results which matter most. One of the key features of this process is to help men gain the freedom needed to make right choices.

Most people’s level of life achievement is heavily influenced by a combination of moral character, selfconfidence, and choice of friends to help think out of the box. This is why one should choose the people they spend a lot of time with wisely; particularly those who minds are trapped in the control box.

2 Making Winning Decisions Wise decision-making requires a well thought out decision-making process which is focused on achieving the best results by recognizing every choice has consequences which need to be carefully evaluated prior to making important decisions. Only a few men have ever been trained in this practice—a practice which guides life destinies. A process to guide men to make decisions which is focused on achieving desired outcomes is included in this practice.

3 Building Authentic Relationships Being closely connected with other men represents a deep longing of men’s souls; however, most men have never been taught the meaning of, importance of, or how to build authentic relationships. These are described as the type of relationships which provides much needed encouragement, support, and opportunities for engaging in forthcoming conversations which impact men’s life legacies.

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4 Following the Golden Rule Men have a deep need to want to be admired and respected. In addition, they want to be viewed as being trustworthy and credible. This is best achieved by being a man of character because character counts most. The best way to follow the Golden Rule is to be guided by a combination of beliefs, values, and guiding principles. These are the key traits of men who are looked up to, as well as the type of men people want to be around.

5 Spending Money Wisely Men need to establish and follow priorities and best practices regarding how they spend money. Since most men have never been trained to do this, it’s unlikely they will ever do it as well as they should. As a result, many men spend money in foolish ways which lead to unintended life consequences.

6 Utilizing Time Wisely This is the most valuable resource that is made equally available to every man; however, time has become a heavily wasted resource because few men are trained to use it in a clearly focused manner.

This results in most men living daily in what can be described as a state of constantly being busy without accomplishing much which matters at day’s end.

7 Avoiding Life Pot Holes Most men are caught up in conforming to the patterns of the world regarding the temptation and idols faced daily. Unless these potholes, which are described in the forms of daily temptations and fears, are recognized and addressed, they will travel down paths of life destruction as a result of allowing these to unintentionally destroy their souls, as well as the souls of others who depend on them.

Do you want to be remembered as a winner or loser in the game of life as a result of the level of impact you had on the lives of others? These best practices represent seven important ways for you to become prepared to win the game of life.

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Thinking Like Winners Men cannot win the game of life without winning the thinking game. This is because how they think determines whether they win or lose. Winning thinking becomes a reality by following the five-step process described below. Men who follow this process are more likely to make the lifestyle choices needed to become difference-makers who leave lasting legacies.

Introducing a Five Step Process Follow the process because this process will set you free to make lifestyle choices which determines your destiny. A template to guide one through this process is contained in the Life Basics Toolkit.

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Current Thinking

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Current Attitude

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The Life Control Box

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Winning Decisions

5

Winning Results

Insights Regarding the Process 1. Current thinking patterns have evolved over time as a result of one’s: (1) emotional responses regarding past experiences, (2) attitudes regarding things and other people, (3) selfish desires, (4) fears of the unknown, (5) level of knowledge and understandings, and (6) life distractions.

2. Personal attitudes drive the establishment of habits and behaviors which often drive automatic responses that rob people of the opportunity for making right choices. Most people have become creatures of habit; therefore, they rarely think about the benefits and consequences of how they choose to respond to ideas and suggestions brought to their attention.

3. Most people lack the freedom to choose because of a life control box which few people have every heard about. This is why people need to learn about it, learn about how it impacts them, and decide if they are willing to think differently than most people think. This is highly important, particularly at an early age in life.

4. Winning decisions are guided by following a decision-making process that leads to winning results.

This is described in the next life basics best practice contained in this Handbook.

5. These are those which provide the greatest rewards for those who are willing to pay the price for winning the game of life.

About the Box The picture on the right is worth a thousand words. It is intended to help you start thinking about escaping the Life Control Box by first establishing a larger vision for your life. This is a life which results in your becoming a difference-maker by thinking out of the box because you have the freedom to make decisions which provide the best results.

Knowing how to get out of this box is considered to be a major life achievement because most people don’t possess the confidence and courage necessary to make the life changes needed to escape it. People make these changes because they want to, rather than what they know they need to or what others tell them they need to do. This requires that they choose between the two following life outcomes: 1. Winning the game by choosing to become a difference-maker that has relevant impacts on lives.

2. Losing the game by allowing the contents of the box to cause you to suffer the consequences of poor decision making. It’s your choice, and choices have consequences.

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Escaping Life’s Control Box There are seven major barriers which keep most people from having the freedom needed to make wise choices in life. A list of these barriers and a description of the habits, behaviors, and actions which keep people from moving forward in life follows:

The Life Control Box 1

Unwilling to consider different options. Most people are creatures of habit that are unwilling to consider anything that is different than they are familiar with or comfortable with. The longer this takes place, the more unlikely they are to have the freedom needed to make wise decisions.

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Unhealthy attitudes. Many people have pre-conceived notions regarding certain things and people which keep their minds chained in the box. These attitudes have developed as a result of experiencing some combination of anger, arrogance, addiction, worry, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, prejudice, and biases which keep people from moving forward in the game of life.

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Selfish Desires. These are highly prevalent in today’s worldly culture, and are demonstrated by those whom: Know it all—these people are unwilling to listen to differing views or to learn from others.

Have to have their way because they always have the right answer.

Like to be viewed as being an important person as a result of who they are, or who they know.

Constantly seeks special treatment.

Provides special treatment in the form of undue influences for others.

Constant fault finders because of believing they are better than others.

• • • • • • 4

Peer Pressures. This is one of the most difficult and life devastating circumstances to escape because people have a natural desire for seeking the approval of, or being liked, by others. This is largely driven by an unwillingness to say no to requests, or be willing to get out of their comfort zones. These are signs of people who are prone to respond in a politically correct manner in most life circumstances.

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Fears. These are largely driven by people’s emotional state of mind, as well as lacking confidence and courage. Seven life devastating fears include that of failure, change, the unknown, getting out of one’s comfort zone, conflict, and taking risks.

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A Lack of Knowledge and Understanding. Most people only know what they know, don’t know what they don’t know, and don’t want to hear anything different than what they currently know.

This is because many people lack wisdom because they are lazy and don’t put forth the effort needed to become properly informed. This results in foolish thinking—a type of thinking which leads to paths of destruction.

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Life Distractions. Many people have become addicted to a number of life pleasures which are selfish desires for “life’s good stuff”. Over time, these worldly pleasures paralyze one’s mind from having the freedom needed to make wish choices during the remaining portion of their time on earth. Examples of these include the amount of resources many people spend watching television, texting and talking on the phone, surfing the internet, and participating in recreational and other entertainment activities. Unless properly managed, these have devastating impacts on lives of most people.

What is keeping you from having the freedom to make wise choices regarding your life destiny?

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Making Wise Decisions Decisions lead to results, and results determine life destinies for the people impacted by decisions made. Having a well thought out decision-making process is too important to take for granted; however, most people don’t use any type of structured process for making decisions. Having a process to follow substantially enhances the probability of making decisions which lead to the best results.

Defining Wise Decisions These are those which seek to achieve outcomes which best support the overall good of the people impacted, from both a short-term and long-term perspective. Every person impacted by the outcome of the decision should be involved, if and when possible. Making wise decisions also requires the development of the right information needed, as well as having a process for best using the information available.

A Four Step Decision-Making Process This process has been developed to guide people and groups who want to make wise decisions as follows: 1 Gain Key Understandings These include: • Clearly describing the decision to be made • Identifying people that need to be involved, as well as knowing those who are impacted • Understanding other issues involved in the decision • Identifying and gathering the information needed to make the decision 2 Identify Potential Options and Criteria for Evaluation This is a step most people take lightly because there are generally more options available than most people think about. These are important in gaining objective understandings needed for making wise decisions.

3 Identify Potential Benefits and Consequences There are benefits, as well as un-intended consequences for most decisions under consideration. The consequences are rarely considered in today’s non-structured decision-making society. This requires people to think out of the box in a rational and objective manner in order to make well informed decisions.

4 Evaluate the Information Available and Make the Decision For important decisions, it is suggested that the information needed be developed in written form by carefully evaluating the options, criteria, benefits and consequences, as well as any other considerations that provide the best outcome(s).

Barriers to Making Wise Decision There are three barriers which will be difficult to overcome by most people such as: 1 2 3

Most people make knee-jerk, quick fix decisions which are often driven by pre-conceived notions, biases, likes, and dis-likes, and peer pressures. This is what they are familiar with and comfortable with.

The time and effort needed which most people are not willing to commit to.

Having a well-defined structured process which requires people to think about things they don’t normally think about.

A Decision-Making Template to guide this process is included in the Life Basics Toolkit on page 22.

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Building Authentic Relationships Being closely connected with others represent the deepest longing of the souls of men; however, most men in today’s society struggle with establishing authentic, transparent relationships with other men.

This practice equips them to gain greater credibility and support at home, in the community, and in the workforce. Men who serve in any type of leadership roles, and are adept in this practice are far more likely to have a relevant impact on lives because people will want to follow them willingly and well.

Why Important The most powerful benefit is because authentic relationships are essential for helping to meet people’s core personal needs which are described below. These are to be: • Closely connected with others • Informed, listened to, and understood • Respected and appreciated.

• Part of a small group with mutual interests.

Additional benefits of building authentic relationships include: • • • • •

Maximizes the uses of a person’s special area(s) of giftedness. These are described as a combination of one’s spiritual gifts, passions, abilities, and experiences.

Provides the knowledge and understandings (or wisdom) needed for enlarging personal visions.

Enhances communications and understandings of perspectives of others.

Provides opportunities to leverage resources.

Represents the glue that holds teams, groups, or organizations together.

Insights Regarding Building Relationships Five key insights include: 1 Show respect to others before they have done anything to warrant it.

2 Share experiences which become a foundation for relationship building.

3 Establish trust because you do what you say you are going to do and do what you ought to do.

4 Seek reciprocity by being the giver rather than being the receiver.

5 Seek opportunities for mutual enjoyment.

Putting these Insights into Action Getting started is the hardest part of for building authentic relationships. Someone has to make the first move by making relationship building an intentional effort. Those who wait on others to make the first move will not likely be successful in developing relationships that matter.

Ten (10) practical, down to earth suggestions include: 1 Create opportunities for food, fellowship, and conversations regarding topics of mutual interest for starters in coffee shops and homes. Those who invite others into their home are likely to be the more effective relationship builders because this is a highly powerful type of interaction.

2 Create opportunities for attending recreational and entertainment events with time for social interactions and refreshments.

3 Be proactive in sharing information of mutual interests.

4 Be willing to be open, honest, and forthcoming. Don’t try to sugar coat your conversations.

5 Seek opportunities for seeking advice—this indicates you value them. I need your help represents a powerful message regarding this suggestion.

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Seek opportunities to stay in contact with people on an ongoing basis. Oftentimes, a telephone call or an e-mail for the mere purpose of “checking in” provides a positive signal to the other party.

Seek opportunities to work on projects with individuals and small groups. People like working together on common causes, particularly when it’s a cause they mutually support.

Never be perceived as trying to use the other party for personal gain. This will not be well received.

Be willing to take the risks associated because they are well worth it.

Establish personal background information to share with people you don’t know before having the first meeting, when appropriate. This provides many conversation starters.

Effective Communications Effective communications are the key to success in most every personal interaction we have, and broken relationships and conflicts between people are largely a result of a failure to communicate properly.

Communications skills represent a key skill needed for relationship building. Consider the following: Key Factors Key factors associated with effective verbal communications are shown in the table below. This Demonstrates the importance of one’s words, voice, and nonverbals while engaging in conversations Words—7% • Be sincere and carefully delivered Voice—38% • Variance in tone, volume, and cadence Non-verbal—55% • Gestures • Facial expression • Posture and proximity In conclusion, good eye contact, gestures, facial expressions, posture, proximity, and voice variations are keys to effective leader communications.

Being a Good Listener Highly effective spiritual leaders are good listeners. Poor listening is involved in a majority of misunderstandings which occur during personal interactions. This is hard; however, but it can be learned by those who want to. The following seven suggestions form a good starting point for improved listening skills: 1 Empathize with the other person.

2 Make good eye contact. This transmits your acceptance of the speaker.

3 Be patient by avoiding interrupting the other person.

4 Identify the main points.

5 Ask questions for clarification.

6 Don’t start formatting your responses while the other person is speaking.

7 Listen for ideas and feelings behind the words being spoken.

Concluding Comments This is a practice which requires one to become pro-active in engaging in conversations. This is due to living in a society in which people are reluctant to begin a conversation with a stranger because of not knowing what to say, and because of having a fear of others being made to feel uncomfortable.

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Following the Golden Rule This practice is focused on equipping people to interact with others in a manner which results in their being admired and respected, as well as being someone others want to be around. This describes the traits of people who are viewed as being credible and trustworthy. People who possess this type of reputation are set apart in today’s worldly culture.

Why Important People need positive role models and clear guidelines for daily living in order build a life foundation needed to win the game of life because: • •

People become what they see and hear, and they model their lives after those they like and admire.

This is a major reason why people involved in the sports world have the greatest opportunity to impact lives by being good role models.

Very few parents, spiritual leaders, or teachers provide written guidelines for daily living in the form of clear expectations. This is best achieved by establishing core values for guiding what people do and say regarding how they treat and interact with others.

Being Admired and Respected This can best be achieved by living in accordance with personal values which are needed for one to be viewed as a highly credible person. Personal core values are defined as the living standards for those who strive to be a difference maker by modeling attitudes, behaviors, and actions which are highly valued by others. They are needed to provide a moral compass for guiding interactions with others, making life decisions, and managing utilization of one’s time and money. Defining values gives people a sense of purpose and makes life simpler for the following reasons: • •

People that have not defined their values end up drifting through life.

People that have defined their values make better decisions regarding things which matter.

Only a few people establish core values which guide how they treat and interact with others. Individuals that establish and live by these are set apart from most people. The three (3) core values listed below can be described as a code of personal conduct and behavior 1 Humility This is described as being free from natural desires for pride and arrogance. Examples of ways to demonstrate humility include things to do and things to not do. These are described in the table below: • • • • • • • •

Things to Do Listen to others with differing views Have an open mind regarding what to do Avoid opportunities for special treatment Seek opportunities to serve others Be viewed as a peacemaker Speak kindly regarding others Control the tongue Resist temptations for thinking too highly of oneself

• • • • • • • •

Things to Not Do Be viewed as a “know it all” Constantly have to have your way Seek favoritism over others Have a “it’s all about me” attitude Be viewed as a trouble maker Be a fault-finder or participate in gossip Demonstrate anger towards others Seek praise for accomplishments or to be viewed as an important person

In reflecting on the examples listed above, it can be concluded that they represent a combination of the most desired and most despicable traits in people.

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2 Respect This is described as treating others like one would like to be treated. Traits of those who demonstrate respect include: • Being proactive and forthcoming in communicating with others.

• Listening to differing views by not looking down on people who don’t see things as they do.

• Seeking to understand multiple sides of issues.

• Being open minded and recognizing there is more than one right answer.

• Demonstrating value and appreciation for others.

• Inviting others to join and participate in group activities.

• Being responsive to requests and following through on commitments.

• Being on time for meetings and events.

• Being willing to forgive others and not hold grudges.

3 Responsibility This is described as being willing to be answerable to or accountable for things within their power or control. Traits of those demonstrating responsibility include: • Being a person of their word by doing what they tell others they are going to do.

• Being willing to do one’s part and not having to be constantly asked.

• Acknowledging personal failures and shortcomings, and not blaming others.

• Being willing to be open, honest, and transparent.

• Not covering up for or making excuses for others.

• Being willing to inspect what’s expected.

• Striving to make decisions for the greater good by rejecting natural temptations due to selfinterests, undue influences, and special treatments.

• Using time and money wisely.

• Repaying debts to others.

Concluding Comment People who follow the Golden Rule demonstrate a standard of conduct and character that are set apart from the rest of society.

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Spending Money Wisely

Introduction Money will either become one’s best friend, or their worst enemy. This is their choice—a choice that most people struggle with and fail. This is because they have never been trained in regard to: (1) establishing spending priorities, (2) having spending plans, and (3) having practical guidelines regarding how to best spend money.

Suggested Spending Priorities

The following priorities have been developed for your consideration: 1 Providing Life Necessities This includes things such items as food and clothing, housing, health care, transportation, insurance, and other expenditures. Even though these are described as life necessities, there are unlimited opportunities for squandering one’s financial resources as a result of the value they place on money and how to spend it.

2 Giving to Others This is an attitude that supports the value of humility. Unless this becomes engrained into one’s mind, it’s unlikely that today’s society will have money at the end of the month to help meet the needs of others. This is difficult for people during the earlier stages of their life, particularly at a time when they struggle to make ends meet.

3 Having an Emergency Fund This is another suggestion that will be hard for many to embrace. Unless this concept is embraced, many people will never establish such a fund. This is needed for responding to unplanned emergencies in life.

4 Possessions and Pleasures This priority should be monitored closely. It’s OK for spending money for possessions and pleasures; however, money spent for this purpose frequently gets out of hand in the lives of most people. This is because many people have become addicted to life temptations and pleasures which have led them to experiencing an unhealthy level of personal debt.

5 Savings / Investments These are necessary for gaining financial security as well as being able to help make significant differences in the lives of others when special needs are known.

Developing a Spending Plan This is achieved by those who are willing to develop, monitor expenditures, and make any adjustments needed by following a monthly budget. This is a disciplined approach to spending money in a wise and prudent manner. The following is a listing of the key information and tasks needed to establish a budget: • • • • •

An estimate of the amount of money available.

The establishment of spending categories.

An estimate of spending by category.

Record and track the expenditure of money by category of spending.

Review spending by category and make needed adjustments.

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Practical Tips on Spending Money Wisely The following is a list of three tips which require one to focus on needs rather than wants in order to become better stewards of one’s financial resources.

1 Avoid a natural tendency to try to “keep up with the Jones” by unnecessarily spending money on things that many people cannot afford in order to maintain an unhealthy image in today’s worldly culture. This requires one to self-reflect on why one decides to make what appears to be unwise decisions regarding the use of money in today’s entitled society.

2 Keep the proportions of financial resources spent on pleasures to an acceptable level. An unhealthy portion of money is currently spent on travel, recreational events, and other entertainment in today’s worldly culture. This means spending priorities are likely to be leading people down a financial path of destruction.

3 Although food, clothing, and transportation represent a life necessity, one must properly manage the amount of funds spent here. There are enormous wastes spent on these necessities in today’s secular culture and there needs to be a greater awareness regarding this by knowing how much is being spent on each.

There are numerous ways to guide decisions regarding the spending of money; however, those who establish priorities, demonstrate discipline by living by a budget, and seek value and responsibility in their spending practices can gain the financial security needed to become a difference-maker. For those who wish to get started on the path of financial security by establishing priorities, the following have been developed to spend money in a wise manner: • •

General Instructions for establishing, monitoring, and revising a monthly budget.

A template for preparing a monthly budget worksheet.

These are included in the Life Basics Toolkit on pages 22 and 23.

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Using Time Wisely Time is a precious commodity; however, people are generally reluctant to determine how to use it wisely because they have never been taught how important this is. Also, time is the one key resource that is the same for everyone due to the fact of having 24 hours each day for every week during the year. How one chooses to use time is a major indicator of their priorities in life; however, most people never review and reflect on how they use their time.

Lacking Priorities Many people spend their days in a frenzy of activity, but achieve very little because they're not concentrating their efforts on the things that matter most. The most common excuse of this is that they appear to always be too busy. People who are willing to learn and use time management principles on an ongoing basis are able to use their time much more wisely. This requires the establishment of priorities to best manage one’s time as a life priority. These are needed in order to plan and organize one’s daily activities in order to keep it from being a day wasted without accomplishment.

Waste of Time in Today’s Culture Please consider the following observations which call for a paradigm change in people’s minds regarding the use of time: 1 Most people live in what can be described as a state of crowded loneliness.

This is driven by a combination of the frenzy of activities previously described and a lack of close friends for spending quality time with. People have to be busy to fill the voids available as a result of not being closely connected with others. This can be addressed by building authentic relationships.

2 Being busy and over-scheduled has become a status symbol.

This has become a way for people to be viewed as being important. Many people are anxious to tell others about how busy they are at a time they should be telling them about what they are doing that really matters in the lives of others.

3 Taking time to rest and relax a bit are important.

People who get plenty of sleep at night are much more productive and experience less stress than a majority of society that live their lives with a minimal amount of sleep. Additionally, people should seek brief periods of relaxation during the day for the same reason.

These observations are intended to address the many unintended consequences which result due to struggles faced regarding balance and burnout and the use of time in today’s busy culture.

Describing Time Robbers Implementing the suggestions previously described requires people to be willing to establish and live by life priorities. As a result, they will become focused on achieving results rather than being busy. This requires a much more disciplined approach to using time in a manner which should be simple, balanced, and clearly focused by recognizing and addressing the following common time robbers: • • • • • •

Procrastination Lack of planning and scheduling of time Personal distractions Allowing unnecessary interruptions by others Improper use of telephone and other electronic devices Lack of clear priorities 13

A Three Step Process for Effective Time Utilization A three-step process for using one’s time with more wisdom and discretion follows: 1 Understand How Time is Actually Being Spent The first step is to record how one actually uses his time over a 3-5 day period. This allows people to gain an overall perspective regarding how they are using their time. A sample Time Utilization Template has been developed and included in the Life Basics Toolkit on page 22. A review of this sheet allows one to understand how much time was used as scheduled, how much time was unscheduled, and identify the time robbers. This will help establish daily priorities describe in Step 2.

2 Evaluating Use of One’s Time It is suggested that everyone conclude their day by conducting a brief assessment of how well time was spent. They can develop a list of priorities and a schedule for the next day then, or do this the first thing the next morning.

3 Establish a To Do List Do you frequently feel overwhelmed by the number of tasks you want to complete? Or do you sometimes just forget to do something important, so that people have to constantly follow up with you?

All of these are symptoms of not keeping a proper "To Do List". This is a prioritized list of all the tasks that you need to carry out. This list contains the tasks you want to complete each day by priority.

By keeping a To Do List, you make sure that you capture all of the tasks you have to complete in one place. This is essential if you're not going to forget things. By prioritizing your activities and / or tasks, you plan the order in which you'll do things, so you can tell what needs your immediate attention, With To-Do Lists, you'll be much better organized, and will seem much more reliable. This is very important!

A proven simple technique is an A-B-C rating system for priorities is as follows: • • •

Your A tasks are important and need be addressed.

Your B tasks are less urgent, but still important tasks that you should start after you have completed the A’s.

Your C tasks represent “nice to do” things that could be done after you have time after completing the A’s and B’s.

Three additional insights regarding the “To Do List” include: • The C’s might not need to be placed on your schedule, depending on your circumstances.

• There are times when one should tackle some B’s and C’s that can be quickly accomplished merely to establish a sense of accomplishment.

• There are time which one might need to celebrate the completion of a task by taking a break or a quick walk. This provides an opportunity to get the mind recharged for the next task.

A Daily THINGS TO DO List Template is included in the Life Basics Toolkit on page 23.

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Avoiding Life Pot Holes Would you like to know about the many life pot holes that most people are facing; or would you rather step in them and get out of them the hard way? This is the life circumstance most people will have to face along their life-long journey. This practice can also be described as one of the more difficult practices to implement because it requires people to perform a self-examination that few people are willing to perform.

The life pot holes are patterned after many of the habits, behaviors, and actions contained in the Life Control Box described on page 6. These are intended to provide guidance in regard to whether one’s lifestyle choices are more aligned with worldly standards or the values contained in Life Basics Boot Camp. This is the first step for those who want to learn about what dangers might be ahead unless precautions are taken.

1 Describe Potential Life Pot Holes Five categories of pot holes have been identified for this practice. A number of potential potholes have been identified under each category in the form of harmful traits of people that are being brought to your attention. This is a warning. These potholes often represent blind spots in people’s lives as well as represent potholes most people will have to face during their life-journey. These are not quick fixes!

They are intended to help you to become aware of the many obstacles that stand in the way of those who want to win the game of life.

A Self-Evaluation Please read and reflect on the statements listed below and check the block which best describes your current life circumstances based on the following scale: A = I am OK

B = Need to Think About

C = Need Feedback from Others

D = Need to Address

Category 1—An Unhealthy Attitude Towards Others A

B

C

D

Current Life Circumstance Prone to demonstrate anger towards others.

Prone to worry about things I have no control over.

Experience a sense of shame and / or guilt regarding something I have done in the past.

Jealous of others who have things I don’t have, or because they can do things I can’t do.

Have prejudices against certain people who are different Narrow minded regarding things I don’t understand Have biases regarding certain things

Category 2—Having Selfish Desires A

B

C

D

Current Life Circumstance Often viewed as a “know it all” because of having all the right answers Constantly have to have my way. It’s mostly “all about me.”

Want to be viewed as an important person as a result of who I am, or who I know.

Viewed as one who often seeks special treatment or favoritism.

Have a tendency for wanting to help others gain undue influences.

Constantly criticize others because of being a fault finder.

Prone to take advantage over the generosity and good fortunes of others 15

Self-Evaluation Continued Please read and reflect on the statements listed below and check the block which best describes the life your current life circumstances based on the following scale: A = I am OK

B = Need to Think About

C = Need Feedback from Others

D = Need to Address

Category 3—Bowing to Peer Pressures A

B

C

D

Current Life Circumstance Constantly seek the approval of others Want to be liked or to be popular Have difficulty in saying no, even when I know I should Generally winning to go along with the crowd in order to get along Often allow others to take advantage of me

Category 4—Experiencing Fears A

B

C

D

Current Life Circumstance

Have a fear of failure Have a fear of getting out of my comfort zones Have a fear of having to deal with conflict Have a fear of taking risks Have a fear of talking with people I don’t know

Category 5—Experiencing Life Distractions A

B

C

D

Current Life Circumstance Spend a lot of time watching television, texting and / or talking on the phone, and / or being on the internet Spend a lot of resources participating in and / or watching sports-related activities.

Spend a lot of resources for entertainment-related activities Spend excessive amounts of money regarding life necessities such as food, clothing, transportation, and housing.

Spend a lot of time with people who might hold me back.

2 Identifying Targeted Life Potholes Please review your scoring and identify the top 3-5 life potholes you now want to spend time thinking about and addressing by marking with a gel highlighter.

3 Develop a Statement of Commitment The final step is to develop a statement of commitment regarding what you are willing, or not willing to do, in order to fix life potholes you checked. You may also wish to identify someone who will help you.

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The Life Basics Toolkit Contents Winning Thinking Template

18

Decision-Making Templet

20

Instructions for Preparing a Budget

22

Monthly Budget Template

23

Time Utilization Template

24

THINGS TO DO Template

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A Winning Thinking Template The purpose of the template is to help guide one’s thinking process in a manner which allows the freedom to choose to respond in a manner which can provide the best life outcomes.

1

An Opportunity Presented

2

Identifying Potential Barriers

Describe an example of something which could be presented to you that would cause you to think differently; particularly when this is something you are not familiar with or comfortable with: •

Describe current life circumstances such as your attitude, habits, behaviors, or contents of the Life Control Box (see next page) which might keep you from considering the opportunity presented: 1 2 3

4 5 3

Desiring a Better Future

Describe one or more outcomes of the opportunity presented that would cause you to consider moving beyond your comfort zone: 1

2 3 4 Escaping the Box After reviewing potential barriers described above, what response (or actions) must you be willing to undertake in order to achieve the desired outcomes: 1 2 3 5 Embracing Winning Thinking Describe the key reasons that thinking like winners think can have a relevant impact on your life: 1

2 3

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The Life Control Box 4

Unwilling to consider different options. Most people are creatures of habit that are unwilling to consider anything that is different than they are familiar with or comfortable with. The longer this takes place, the more unlikely they are to have the freedom needed to make wise decisions.

5

Unhealthy attitudes. Many people have pre-conceived notions regarding certain things and people which keep their minds chained in the box. These attitudes have developed as a result of experiencing some combination of anger, arrogance, addiction, worry, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, prejudice, and biases which keep people from moving forward in the game of life.

6

Selfish Desires. These are highly prevalent in today’s worldly culture, and are demonstrated by those whom: Know it all—these people are unwilling to listen to differing views or to learn from others.

Have to have their way because they always have the right answer.

Like to be viewed as being an important person as a result of who they are, or who they know.

Constantly seeks special treatment.

Provides special treatment in the form of undue influences for others.

Constant fault finders because of believing they are better than others.

• • • • • • 8

Peer Pressures. This is one of the most difficult and life devastating circumstances to escape because people have a natural desire for seeking the approval of, or being liked, by others. This is largely driven by an unwillingness to say no to requests, or be willing to get out of their comfort zones. These are signs of people who are prone to respond in a politically correct manner in most life circumstances.

9

Fears. These are largely driven by people’s emotional state of mind, as well as lacking confidence and courage. Seven life devastating fears include that of failure, change, the unknown, getting out of one’s comfort zone, conflict, and taking risks.

10 A Lack of Knowledge and Understanding. Most people only know what they know, don’t know what they don’t know, and don’t want to hear anything different than what they currently know.

This is because many people lack wisdom because they are lazy and don’t put forth the effort needed to become properly informed. This results in foolish thinking—a type of thinking which leads to paths of destruction.

11 Life Distractions. Many people have become addicted to a number of life pleasures which are selfish desires for “life’s good stuff”. Over time, these worldly pleasures paralyze one’s mind from having the freedom needed to make wish choices during the remaining portion of their time on earth. Examples of these include the amount of resources many people spend watching television, texting and talking on the phone, surfing the internet, and participating in recreational and other entertainment activities. Unless properly managed, these have devastating impacts on lives of most people.

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A Decision-Making Template 1

Gaining Key Understandings

Please check the blocks listed below, as appropriate.

Clear understandings of the decision The right people involved Have the information needed

2

Options and Criteria for Evaluation

Describe potential options below: 1 2 3 Describe the key criteria to be used in evaluating these options below: 1 2 3 4

3

Identifying Benefits and Consequences Potential benefits include:

Option 1

• • •

Potential consequences include:

• • • Potential benefits include:

Option 2

• • •

Potential consequences include:

• • • Potential benefits include:

Option 3

• • •

Potential consequences include:

• • •

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4

Making the Decision

During this step, you have developed the key information needed to make a wise decision. A decisionmaking matrix has been developed to help guide the evaluation of all options under consideration, as well as other factors which are intended to help make wise decisions.

First list the key criteria established in Step 2 below and select the option which best meets the criteria by placing a check in the appropriate block. # 1 2 3 4

Description of the Criteria

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

Next, rank each alternative in regarding your evaluation of your preferred potential benefits and consequences below based on the following scale: 1 = the top priority

2 = the second priority Option 1 2 3

3 = the third priority

Priority

The final action is to make your decision by carefully evaluating the information developed above plus any additional insights which need to be considered and clearly state the decision made below.

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Instructions for Preparing a Monthly Budget I—Getting Started There are two major steps required prior to actually developing a monthly budget as follows: •

Step 1—Develop the Information Needed o An estimate of funds available o A determination of general spending categories o A list of specific items to be tracked under the spending categories

•

Step 2—Start Tracking Expenditures For those who are developing a budget for the first time, it is suggested that they establish they track their spending for one-two months to get a handle as to how they are current spending their

income.

II—Developing and Tracking Monthly Expenditures The following steps are required during this phase: Step 1 Review current spending practices and develop projected expenses by category and place on the Monthly Budget Worksheet Step 2 Record all expenditures on Monthly Budget Worksheet and add up at the end of the month Step 3 Determine the actual expenses and compare against projected expenses Step 4 Compare the difference in projected and actual spending and determine the amount of adjustments needed Step 5 Make any adjustments needed in projected expenses for the next month III—What’s It Going to Take?

Developing and living by a monthly budget is a disciplined approach to spending and saving money. The following suggestions are provided as a measure of encouragement and support for those who aspire to undertake the financial security journey.

•

TIME—It will take time to understand your needs and available resources

•

COMMITMENT –Believe in spending priorities so you know when to say NO

•

PATIENCE—It is tough to deny yourself what you want

•

PERSISTENCE–Stick to the plan and be determined

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A Monthly Budget Template I—Revenues

Year Month Projected Funds Available

II—Monthly Expenses Expense Description I—Necessities

Projected Expenses (by category)

♦ Housing ♦ Utilities ♦ Food ♦ Medical ♦ Transportation ♦ Clothing ♦ Other Necessities (list) II—Emergency Fund III—Giving to Others IV—Debt Reduction V—Pleasures / Blow Money ♦ Eating Out ♦ Weekends / Sporting Events ♦ Vacations ♦ Christmas Gifts ♦ Miscellaneous VI—Rainy Day Fund VII—Investments VIII—Other IX—Other X—Other Total Monthly Spending III—Overview of Monthly Spending Amount of Deposits Total Monthly Spending Adjustments Needed

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Actual Expenses (by category)

A Time Inventory Template The purpose of this inventory is help people gain an objective understanding regarding how they are spending their time. This is needed as the first step for those who wish to spend their time in a clearly focused manner. The template below was developed to help people gain a visual image of how they used their time based on how much time they spent by the following priorities: • • • Name

A = Highly important B = Important, but less urgent C = Nice to do Date

Description of Tasks Undertaken

Amount of Time

A

Please ask yourself the following questions: 1 2 3 4 5 6

How much of my time was used as scheduled?

How much of my time was unscheduled?

What were my time robbers?

How many calls or text messages did I receive that were distracting?

How many of the tasks could have been delegated to others, if I were willing?

How much time did I spend thinking about the future?

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Priority

B

C

A Daily THINGS TO DO Template Name

Date

Suggestions 1 This should be developed either the night before or the first thing in the morning.

2 When a task is completed, check the block to the right in the C (or completed) column.

3 Be willing to be flexible because new priorities arise during the day, based on circumstances faced.

4 Some people might like to get the day started by having some quick wins in order to get energized to complete their high priority tasks by days’ end.

5 A practice to be considered to celebrate the completion of a task by taking a break or taking a brief walk.

List of Potential THINGS TO DO

#

Description of Priority A Tasks

C

1 2 3 4 5 6

#

Description of Priority B Tasks

#

Description of Priority C Tasks

1 2 3 4 5

7 8 9 10

1 2 3 4

People who will take the time to utilize this daily are likely to spend their time in a more productive manner than most in today’s busy society. Try it—you will be glad you did!

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C

“A coach will impact more people in one year than the average person will in an entire lifetime.�

Billy Graham