Just Out November 2012

E x c l u s i v e

Citizen Sam M a y o r

October 2012

S a m

A d a m s

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22 Cover

Contents 6

Publisher’s Guest

30 Mind

8 Notebook

32 Spirit

10 Community

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12 Voices

64 Marketplace

28 Family

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Our People

Calendar

JUST OUT ART DIRECTOR AND PHOTOGRAPHER, HORACE LONG, SHOT THIS MONTH'S COVER OF PORTLAND’S MAYOR SAM ADAMS. READ MORE ON PAGE 20.

November 2012

Features 20

POLITICS

Citizen Sam The first out gay mayor of a major U.S. city gives Just Out an exclusive exit interview.

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PARENTING

The New Normal Kids for LGBTQ couples are now the norm.

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REAL LIFE

An incarcerated teen shares his heartbreaking story and what gives him hope.

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The Poet In Prison

A&E

A Gay Christmas Our A&E editor’s picks for your holiday entertainment.

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GARDEN

A Common Table Nestled in the base of Rocky Butte, these families mingle and share like neighbors used to — a year long table of thanks.

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HOME

My Crush On Nate Just Out’s new home writer Jonathan Hopp interviews famed designer Nate Berkus and makes a dream come true.

+ GO Pages

All the resources you need for GAY OREGON Page 35

PUBLISHER’S GUEST

by Rev. Michael Hanley

just out TM

November 2012

Rearranging The Furniture

I have a simple idea that might change our political and religious conversation.

Several weeks ago I had a workman in my home. While he worked I made phone calls and he must have heard me talking because as he finished he asked, "Are you a clergyman?" "Yes," I said. "Did you see the Republican Convention last night?” he asked. "No," I said, "I tend toward the liberal end of the political spectrum myself." “He thought for a moment and then said, "I am not at all religious but I thought all churches were conservative.”

As our conversation continued I realized he had a "media given" understanding of religion and religious people. He mostly heard about the actions of conservative churches and he branded all churches

as conservative. Had he heard about The Episcopal Church’s recent vote in convention to authorize the use of a rite for the blessing of same gender couples, he might have had to rethink his understanding of religion. As we talked further I told him about my experience of marching in the Portland Gay Pride parade and I could almost see his internal sense of the world shift as he dealt with a bishop who believed in gay pride.

This young man told me he considers himself a conservative and yet he also agreed with me about the right of same gender couples to marry. As we talked I once again found myself surprised by how he put his worldview together and that conversation has become one more example of why it is time to stop assuming we can assign political tags as if they were accurate descriptors of how a person or group understands the world around them.

I am a person who has experienced the presence of God in my life and if we had the time to sit together over a cup of coffee or a good microbrew we could have a discussion of my experience. Perhaps you would share your own experience with me of God’s presence or absence in your life. Most likely we would not agree on everything, but we might be surprised at our agreements and disagreements.

I choose to believe, that is, I give my heart to God’s presence in my life. The experience of God comes to me as I attend to the deep matters of the heart, listen carefully to another person, and discover their true self. I believe that true religious and political discourse only happens as we deeply connect with those who do not share our understanding of the world.

So my simple idea is to invite people to sit at round tables. In the Episcopal House of Bishops we gather twice a year to talk about our common life together. A decade ago we were a contentious group, often talking at each other and fighting over our beliefs. But then we were invited to rearrange the furniture and began to sit at round tables with those who disagree with us. Every three years we change up where we sit and we continually invite newcomers to the House to join a table. This simple act has made a profound difference in how we work together.

At our new round tables there is no place of honor, all are equal. In this configuration we see and hear better, we share food, offer stories of our lives and families and come to know the challenges we face in the work we all do. We are closer together at round tables rubbing elbows with little ability to hide ourselves from each other. We have come to love each other more as we have come to know each other. We have a deeper sense of community now and we act with compassion far more often than in the past.

It is a simple idea but I would really like to see what would happen if we put round tables on the floor of the Senate and House of Representatives! § The Right Reverend Michael Hanley, Episcopal Bishop of Oregon, can be reached at bishop@episcopaldioceseoregon.org.

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PUBLISHERS Jonathan Kipp Eddie Glenn EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alley Hector ART DIRECTOR Horace Long A&E EDITOR Ken Hoyt COPY EDITOR Ellen Fiscus WRITERS Cathleen Busha Anna Deligio Atlas Flynn Jonathan Hopp Anne Jaeger Brad Larsen Logan Lynn Scott MacDonald Lyska Mondor Courtney O'Donnell Leo Schuman Aaron Spencer Rev. Jennifer Yocum DIRECTOR of SALES Roy Melani ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE David Wagner AD DESIGN & COORDINATION Juliette Miratsky Heather White just out™

P.O. Box 10609 Portland, OR 97296 editor@JustOut.com sales@JustOut.com Phone/Fax: 503.828.3034 ©Copyright 2012. All rights reserved.

Published by Glenn-Kipp Publishing, Inc LLM Publications, Inc. authorized local advertising representative Rivendell Media, Inc. authorized national advertising representative

just out™

Founded in 1983 FORMER PUBLISHERS

Founders Renee LaChance & Jay Brown Marty Davis

Just Out has a long and proud history of informing and entertaining the LGBTQ community in Oregon and SW Washington, our supporters near and far, and working to build bridges that lead to justice, fairness, and equality for all people.

Printed in the U.S.A.

November 2012

November 2012

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Notebook (TECH)

Gay PDX App

PORTLAND HAS JUST RECEIVED A GAY TRAVEL APP FOR IOS DEVICES (IPHONE/IPAD). THE 99 CENT MOBILE GAY GUIDE FROM DAMRON, A 40-YEAR-OLD GAY TRAVEL GUIDE, BILLS ITSELF AS THE PERFECT COMPANION FOR THE GAY AND LESBIAN TRAVELER. "USE IT TO FIND THE MOST EXCITING NIGHTCLUBS, THE BEST RESTAURANTS, AND LISTS OF HOTELS, GUESTHOUSES AND OTHER BUSINESSES THAT CATER TO GAY TRAVELERS." APPSHOPPER.COM/LIFESTYLE/GAY-PORTLAND

(FILM)

(STAYCATION)

Guesthouse

The Portland International Guesthouse was recently featured in Gayapolis. Part of the international listing of gayfriendly accommodations, Purple Roofs, the Guesthouse offers European-style accommodations for the budgetminded, independent traveler. The 5-unit house is located in the heart of Portland’s charming Northwest district.

Travelers can easily walk to a variety of shops, restaurants, cafes and bars, enjoy the serenity of the Japanese Garden and beautiful Washington Park, or hike over 40 miles of trails in Portland’s Forest Park, the largest urban park in the US. purpleroofs.com/portlandintl-or.html Photo by John Clark

The Falls

Local filmmaker Jon Garcia’s new release, The Falls, is currently making the festival circuit, including our own Portland Lesbian and Gay Film Festival last month, and was recently picked up for distribution

by Breaking Glass pictures. Falls follows two male Mormon missionaries that fall in love on their mission and have to hide their affection from their church and family. The film, made on an incredibly tight $7,000 budget is getting great reviews. Look for it in theaters soon. thefallsmovie.net

(FTM)

Binder Boys

Vancouver man Beck Rosato Lewis has started an organization to help supply pre-op trans men with binders and prize goodies through donations of both new and gently used products. He has also formed a relationship with FTM Underworks, a company that exclusively sells binders, who will often contribute to guys in need. Like many transitioning young men, Lewis has been documenting his journey on YouTube both for himself and to help others.

Check out the Binder Boys Facebook page for updates, contests, or to donate to the cause. facebook.com/binderboys.

(MUSIC)

Corin Tucker Band

Seminal riot grrl Corin Tucker, of Sleater-Kinney and Heavens to Betsy fame, has just released a new album with her Portland based indie group The Corin Tucker Band. Backed up by Seth Lorinczi, Sara Lund and Mike Clark, the group’s sophomore release is called Kill My Blues. A much more upbeat release than 2010’s 10,000 Years mom-rock, their new collaborative process has also made for a soothingly Pacific Northwest sound reminiscent of a 90s rock’n’roll heyday. It’s most apparent on their first single, “Neskowin,” which recounts the adventures of a couple of teenage girls in the 80s. The video features Tucker in various roles, most notably as Poly Styrene of the punk band X-Ray Spex, as well as one of the girls discovering her interest in the ladies. corintuckerband.com

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Community (DISCRIMINATION)

VANCOUVER WOMAN NORMA BELLHORN HAS FILED A COMPLAINT WITH THE WASHINGTON STATE HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION AGAINST LEGENDS FOOD AND FUN ALLEGING THE ESTABLISHMENT DENIED HER ACCESS TO THE WOMEN’S RESTROOM. BELLHORN, WHO IS CONSIDERING FILING SIMILAR COMPLAINTS WITH OTHER ESTABLISHMENTS, IS A PRE-OPERATIVE TRANSGENDER WOMAN. BECAUSE THERE IS NOT A SPECIFIC STATE LAW THAT DICTATES PUBLIC RESTROOM USE FOR TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUALS, THE OUTCOME OF THIS COMPLAINT IS UNCERTAIN. LAURA LINDSTRAND, A COMMISSION POLICY ANALYST, SAID THE COMMISSION HAS RECEIVED THE COMPLAINT AND ASSIGNED AN INVESTIGATOR TO IT. INVESTIGATIONS TYPICALLY TAKE FOUR TO 12 MONTHS, SHE SAID.

Photo by Vincent Aguas

Trans Denied

(HIV/AIDS)

Record Walk

Over 10,000 walkers convened on Pioneer Square for this year’s AIDS Walk September 23. More than $525,000 was raised, $75,000 more than CAP’s stated goal and breaking the important half a million dollar mark, more raised than ever before. CAP will use these funds to support activities like HIV testing, community education and services for families and children infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. The fundraiser also drew a record number of elected officials participating in the event. Congresswoman Susanne Bonamici addressed a crowd of VIP walkers and sponsors during an exclusive breakfast at Departure atop The Nines Hotel. Mayor Sam Adams and Governor John Kitzhaber addressed the crowd from the main stage and other political participants included Multnomah County Chair Jeff Cogen; State Senators Ginny Burdick and Jackie Dingfelder; State Representatives Alissa Keny-Guyer and Mary Nolan; Portland City Commissioners Nick Fish and Amanda Fritz; and Multnomah County Commissioners Judy Shiprack, Loretta Smith and Diane McKeel.

(MUSIC)

Believe in Me

Project Believe in Me (PBIM) is a youth-led anti-bullying initiative dedicated to ending bully-related suicide. At 16 years old, founder Alex Horsey was recognized in June as the Pride Northwest Youth Awardee, as well as one of Q Center and GLAPN’s Queer Heroes NW. Hold On Another Day (HOAD), is a forprofit, one for one company, which works with local artists to create mix CDs for a cause. HOAD has produced a 13-track mix CD with indie artists from cities across the U.S. titled Songs for Project Believe in Me. The CDs will be used with teens suffering from issues related to bullying to inspire them to rise above their struggles. projectbelieveinme.org holdonanotherday.org 10

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November 2012

(LAWS)

Oregon Historic Dates Three historic events celebrate anniversaries this year. In 1971, Oregon became the third state to permanently abolish its law that effectively criminalized private adult sex between people of the same gender. The legal revision took effect on January 1, 1972, so we've beeen celebrating the 40th anniversary throughout 2012.

Also in 1972, the Oregon Democratic Party adopted at its preprimary convention a gay civil rights plank. It called for a law that would ban discrimination in employment, housing, and possibly other areas based on sexual orientation.

Twenty years later in 1992 we defeated Measure 9, a proposed constitutional amendment that read: “All governments in Oregon may not use their monies or properties to promote, encourage or facilitate homosexuality, pedophilia, sadism or masochism. All levels of government, including public education systems, must assist in setting a standard for Oregon’s youth which recognizes that these behaviors are abnormal, wrong, unnatural and perverse and they are to be discouraged and avoided.�

(COURT)

The Bench

Endorsed by both the Oregonian and the Gay and Lesbian Victory fund, which is dedicated to electing LGBT leaders, out lesbian Judge Nena Cook has her sights set on the Oregon Supreme Court this November. Raised by a single mother, Nena started work at the age of 12 to help support her family. In her more than twenty years of legal practice, she has been president of the Oregon State Bar, Judge Pro Tem, and a private practice attorney representing individuals and businesses in complex legal matters. nenacookfororegonsupremecourt.org November 2012

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VOICES | In The Trenches

by Logan Lynn

The Closet Trip A trip to middle America for a family reunion leads this couple back to to the closet door, old fears, and worry about the others out there.

My partner and I took a trip to South Dakota this past summer to celebrate my grandfather’s 100th birthday. Before the trip began, we talked about how my extended family on my mother’s side had always been very accepting of me (and my gayness) in theory, but that I had never taken a man “home” and been around all of them while in relationship to test it out. Somewhere in me I knew that everything would be fine with all of them, just as it has been with my immediate family for years, so I didn’t think much more of it.

Almost immediately upon our plane landing in Rapid City, it was clear that we were not in Portland anymore. The woman at the rental car place made some snide comment about how only I could drive the car unless we were “married or domestic partners” which then made her laugh out loud. Imagine – two men married to each other? Ha!

Rushmore, which was boring and hideous, but most of the people there were from other parts of the world visiting that particular landmark so, once again, the experience of our otherness was masked with at least the appearance of diversity.

As the family reunion love fest was drawing to a close, we decided that we would go exploring deep in the Black Hills and eat biscuits and gravy at this country diner that everyone had been telling us was so delicious, way out in the middle of nowhere. As we drove through the canyon the land was stunning, but we both lost reception on our phones. I shrugged it off and we just kept going. (I was really excited for gravy, OK?!)

When we arrived at the diner and were being seated I noticed that every other table in the restaurant had their eyes on us. They were all staring.

Every one of them … and neither of us had any way to call for help. I’m sure we weren’t actually in grave danger as it felt, but I started playing the theme song from Deliverance in my head and couldn’t help but flash back to my own violent experience growing up gay in a rural farm town.

We ate quickly and booked it out of there, back to the safety of cellular reception - but something disturbing happened to us both there that day which has lingered. It’s almost like we brought ghosts of that palpable bigotry back to Portland with us or something. We’ve chatted about it since and keep circling around the conclusion that at least some parts of us were forced back in the closet on the trip for self-protection, and those recently re-closeted parts are having to be intentionally coerced back out, even now that we are home in the safety of our affirming surroundings.

By the time we arrived at the hotel we were exhausted and it was late. We chatted with my parents for a bit and then went to sleep. The next morning we woke up early and traveled to the Badlands, where we spent most of the day. The land was magical and our interaction with people was sparse. We hung out, took photos, and tried not to touch the very cute prairie dogs (which carry plague, come to find out).

We spent the weekend hanging out with all the people who have ever loved me in the world. It was really great for me to get to share them with the man I love, and him with them. My family all celebrated our relationship and welcomed him into the fold without batting an eyelash.

It was extraordinary.

Family aside, I could tell some of the hotel staff and patrons were either afraid of my floral bike cap or the anal sex it implied, but no one bothered us and I didn’t feel unsafe. At one point we decided to go to Mt.

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It’s striking to me that as professionally and publicly out as we both are, depending on where we find ourselves in the world, homophobia can still reach us, still change us - even if just for a moment. Suppose you are lucky enough to be surrounded by familial love and acceptance (as we were), chances are still pretty good that the townspeople want to tie you and your partner to a fence and leave you both for dead.

So, we peel back the sad layers of fear, which have attached themselves to our love and life while traveling through middle America together, and we move on – but I can’t help feeling worried about our brothers and sisters living in that part of the country who we’ve left behind. What will become of them? Is the only option for an LGBT person to be free in the United States to live somewhere coastal? What responsibility do we have as queer people in progressive communities to reach out to those living in non-affirming communities? I’m not sure what the answer is, but I look forward to a day where we can be our openly queer selves safely no matter where we are in the country. § Logan Lynn writes In The Trenches for Just Out. He is a Portland based musician, activist, writer, and is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post.

Reach him at Logan@JustOut.com

November 2012

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VOICES | In Transit

by Courtney O'Donnell

A Sobering Number

TransActive offers options for trans kids and their parents that can improve health and save lives.

The number of transgender kids, or rather, children with gender expression not conforming to society’s “set rules,” is said to number 3,200 in the Portland area. That’s a pretty big number of kids having to deal with very adult issues — something even adult trans people have difficulty dealing with.

Throw in bullying, social peer pressure, and clueless parents into the mix and it is not surprising that by the time they are teens, 80 percent of those who think their bodies don’t match their minds gender-wise consider suicide. A sobering number.

No parent can possibly be expected to deal with their child’s gender expression or gender identity questions on their own. Likewise, educators, social workers and caseworkers are not always ahead of the curve on all things transgender either.

The key to suicide prevention according to Portland’s TransActive, one of the few transgender youth nonprofit organizations in the country, is reaching the kids before puberty. The group’s Executive Director, Jenn Burleton, says they exist primarily to improve the quality of life of transgender and gender nonconforming children. She says parents sometimes can notice a potential trans child as early as 18 months.

TransActive offers options and steps for kids and their parents that not only ease the struggle, but gets the kids off the, sadly, well-trodden path that leads to a second sobering number; over 40 percent of all transgender people attempt suicide.

“TransActive provides a comprehensive array of in-house counseling, case management and medical referral services, educational workshops, training and professional speakers, child and family advocacy and support to transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth, their families, allies, community organizations and helping professionals,” their website says.

I’m seeing their weekly group meetings of transgender kids as one of the highlights of the programs offered. Just knowing there are other trans kids like them out there having the exact same struggles is a huge self esteem boost. They will come to realize the “problem” isn’t them at all, but rather society’s ignorance.

Executive Director Jenn Burleton Photo by Ho race Long

TransActive also has similar group meetings for parents, siblings and others at a loss for what to do. Counseling is offered to help them make the adjustments needed to support their child’s or sibling’s gender expression. The training and workshop programs for those in the community working with trans people are invaluable as well.

Burleton has spoken out about the consequences for children who are bullied and are victims of prejudice. Kids have rights, she says, and mentions the Oregon Safe Schools Act, which says every child in the state can express their gender however they want.

In Transit is written by Courtney O’Donnell for Just Out. Courtney is a Transgender actress, advocate, and writer, including being a regular contributor to The Huffington Post.

She is also the star of the film 'Lexie Cannes'. Reach her at Courtney@JustOut.com.

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TransActive is currently reaching 70 families, leaving some 3,100 Portland area kids possibly without much guidance. Hopefully, Portlanders with trans kids will take advantage of the wealth of resources we have for them in our own backyard. § transactiveonline.org

November 2012

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VOICES | In The Pink

by Lyska Mondor

Weight loss madness Three signs from the media motivate this writer to ponder body issues, weight, Starbucks, SkinnyGurl and hate mongering aimed at fat.

Thank you, computer, radio, and television for reminding me that West- browsing, I feel comfortable claiming it. She has temporarily removed her ern society is so obsessed with weight loss. I received three epic signs “Starving Tips of The Day”, but plans to restore it in the future. from the media to write about this, and each was more ridiculous than the last.

Personally, I can’t wait. In fact, maybe SkinnyGurl should be our next write-in presidential candidate. Yeah, we can officially change the name The first sign I received was a link to a short video rant by Jessica Valenti, of food stamps to fat stamps, pass a censorship law that puts a fuzzy blob feminist writer and author of Why Have Kids. Basically, a major maga- over anyone on television not ridiculously skinny, and do away with the zine rejected a pitch for an article she wanted to write, and countered military, because I have a feeling that SkinnyGurl could find a way to with their own brilliant idea. They asked her to write a personal story of shame any of our country’s enemies into a self-loathing dark hole into how she lost her own baby weight, and mentioned that women like Jessica which we can toss “Starving Tips of the Day” written on fortune cookie Simpson really struggled with this issue after birth. paper. Winner.

Yes, it’s idiotic. Let’s rehash something written about Jessica Simpson using the “I” pronoun, because it really makes the story crazy anecdotal.

It’s not just idiotic. Jessica Valenti really lucked out when it was time to lose her baby weight. She gave birth to a two-pound baby three months early. The terrifying experience of having a premature baby was at least brightened by the positive effect it had on her figure. Thanks for that.

Second, came a bizarre radio announcement. A local radio DJ caught my attention with this news-breaking story. Christine Hall, a 66-year-old woman from Virginia, lost 76 lbs by eating nothing but food from Starbucks for 2 years. Oh man. What part of that sentence really strikes you the hardest? Is it the first part? For me, I look at that and all I can see repeating in my head is, “nothing but food from Starbucks for two years… food from Starbucks for two years… food from Starbucks for two years…

Starbucks for two years.”

Nutritionists caution against getting all of your food from one restaurant, saying that one might not get all of the necessary nutrients from one menu. Really? What if that menu is sugar, coffee, and Italian grilled cheeses? It’s expensive and gives me ideas. I can’t wait to announce the success of my Plaid Pantry diet. Just eat “Funions” and drink 40’s. You won’t even need laxatives.

The final sign came from an Internet headline. “Kate Upton branded a ‘Cannibal’ by SkinnyGossip…” This comment, made by a thin-propaganda website, was meant to shame Kate Upton after she appeared in a Carl’s Jr. ad eating a hamburger. The article demeaned her, and cited a statistic stating that cows are 80 percent genetically similar to humans. I’m confused by the slander, because SkinnyGossip doesn’t seem to be against the eating of meat. The blogger, who chooses to write anonymously as “Skinnygurl” has an entire website devoted to pro-anorexic garbage. The site claims not to be pro-anorexic, but after spending some painful time

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Just eat “Funions” and drink 40’s.

You won’t even need laxatives.

Many of us struggle staying body positive. Personally, I’ve always been fat-positive, and have a lot of fat-positive friends. They maintain as I do that skinny isn’t necessarily healthy or unhealthy, and neither is fat. If you need a dose of body positivity, and want to meet some awesome ladies with fierce attitudes, I recommend visiting my good friends Annie and Carlee at Fat Fancy in downtown Portland. You can get fabulous vintage and modern plus-sized digs, menswear, and there’s even an ally section.

Most importantly, we need to speak up when we witness this kind of hate mongering. I love the fact that queer culture is often open to and accepting to all people shapes. Ultimately, the media is created by and for us, and we are accountable for its messages. We have more power than we know. §

Lyska Mondor pens In The Pink for Just Out. She is a published poet and aspiring sci-fi author. Reach her at Lyska@JustOut.com

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VOICES | The Simple Truth

by Scott MacDonald

Coming Out Quandaries Telling the family is one thing, but the days that follow coming out can be the real challenge. The poignant issue of telling the truth.

The simple truth is that I’m terrible in situations that force me to come out; specifically, situations with my own family. I am a logical and sensible guy, but when confronted with these situations, I often find myself in a zombie-like state with a checklist of nonsensical symptoms. Audible but unintelligible mumbling? Check.

Swiftly darting eyes that could be indicative of a neurological condition? Check. Overwhelming urge to flee before I’m crushed to death by awkwardness? Big check.

I don’t act this way with coworkers or strangers. I have no problem chatting with my coworkers about weekend plans with my boyfriend or even telling some random clerk at a video game store what games we play together. There is no heart-wrenching panic or vacuum of awkwardness — just me having a conversation with another person.

I am not ashamed of who I am. That isn’t the issue here. For me, it’s the unknown. What if this person reacts poorly? What if they quote Bible verses or misinformed scientific studies? What if they try to purify me with holy water and I actually do burst into flames? OK, that last example is unlikely, but this is what my panic-addled brain puts me through.

My experience with my own family has been less than comical. I came out to my parents in 2006 with mostly disastrous results. Full of conflicted feelings and confusion, I hurt myself, which unfortunately became the focal point of the situation. My wounds healed, I moved away to college, and we didn’t talk about it. I hurt myself again in 2008 and we didn’t talk about it. Now, in 2012, after being in a relationship for over 2 years with someone I love, we still barely talk about it.

I used to resent them for their poor reaction and handling of the situation — I sought help and I didn’t receive it. The isolation and loneliness created by that silence, mixed with shame for even bringing it up in the first place, made my situation even more difficult to handle. In retrospect, though, I understand their myopic judgment and lack of

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direction. I was always the “good kid.” They never had to worry about their straight-A, dedicated, loyal son who never drank, smoked or fell in with the wrong crowd. The son who loved education, writing, video games, and who could stay out late on school nights because they knew he wouldn’t do anything foolish.

The truth is simple.

It’s what comes after the truth that is difficult.

I took their near-perfect image of me and shattered it. I became the opposite of what they knew and they didn’t know how to handle it.

I look at those days realistically, though. We both made poor decisions and there’s no point in blaming anyone for anything. These events are just bullets on a list — itemized disasters of a person’s life — and we all have them. We live it, we learn from it, and we move on.

All of this, though, stands in stark contrast to perhaps my deepest conflict. For all the people I’ve come out to in my life — friends, my parents, coworkers, even strangers — I’ve yet to come out to my grandparents.

And despite all the outcomes of these situations, which run the gamut from cripplingly negative to soul-enriching positive, I can’t do it and even if I wanted to, I don’t know how.

November 2012

For me, my grandparents live in another plane of existence from the other people who know me. They are ignorant of the lows of my life.

They haven’t seen the darkness that sometimes exists behind my smile. They love me for who I am, but they don’t entirely know me. And if this separation wasn’t enough, to me they still exist in a land where problems can be solved by cookies, hugs, dominoes, and stirring clarinet solos.

Afternoons at my grandparents are practically torn from the handbook on how to craft a family sitcom from the 1950s. I might cut the lawn or help my grandfather fix the car, but then we’d always enjoy some snacks (typically cookies with a glass of milk) and play dominoes or card games. And that’s not some memory from the past either. We literally did this when I went back home last Christmas.

It’s not that I feel that I can’t talk to them.

They’ve never presented themselves as anything aside from loving and supportive people.

My grandmother even cut out every article I wrote in college and at my internship and saved them in a book. She might even do it for my column if she knew. But aside from the aforementioned gaps and concerns, it feels like we live in different worlds. It’s like that time I tried to explain how email and viruses work. We’ll talk ourselves in circles, get frustrated, give up, and play dominoes instead. The idea of explaining gradients of human sexuality to them, specifically, my sexuality, seems as simple as explaining how black holes work. And where do you even start with a conversation like that? And in the interest of being honest, I’d have to explain my previous detrimental behaviors. Just like with my parents, I’m tasked with shattering their ideal image of me and rebuilding it, and there’s no simple way to do that.

Years ago, my grandmother once asked, “What happened to you?” Her voice strained with concern as she pointed at the scars on my forearm.

I looked her in the eyes and replied, “Oh, you know me. I’m always so clumsy. I … fell down that hill behind my apartment on the way back from class.” I laughed and we accepted that as fact.

Of all the lessons I’ve learned in my life, none is more poignant than the lessons I’ve learned about the truth — the truth is simple. It’s what comes after the truth that is difficult. §

Scott MacDonald is an award winning young journalist originally from Idaho. He writes The Simple Truth for Just Out. Reach Scott at Scott@JustOut.com

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Citizen A

J u s t

o u t

E x c l u s i v e

Sam

An unusually candid intervie w with 20a n dJustOut.com Portl h i s t o r y m aker M ayor Sa m Ada ms

November 2012

POLITICS

by Leo Schuman

We’re not living up to our progressive values when it comes to equity.

Mayor Sam Adams

Novelty quickly seems normal in 21st century Portland. It’s all too easy to take for granted that a “faggot” from Newport could drive a 30 year public service career to become the first openly gay man in history elected mayor of a major American city (or at least one with it’s own TV show). No matter what anyone may have thought of Sam Adams at any point, he’s made history, and survived to talk about it.

After a rocky start, Adams’s tenure as mayor has been focused and effective despite a non-stop critical barrage from his detractors. Some of the criticism has been valid, of course. Adams made mistakes, and no politician pleases everyone. At the same time, some criticism has flowed from sources that would second-guess, diminish, and oppose anything a gay man does, simply for his being gay. Bigotry doesn’t end just because someone wins an election. Ask Obama. Fortunately, Adams has had the strength of character to deliver a solid performance, regardless of it all. If anything, he seems to have enjoyed rising to the challenge. He’s a man not easily beaten.

On his way to becoming “Citizen Sam,” Adams was happy to talk with Just Out one more time as mayor of Portland.

Just Out: So, when did you first fall in love with another man?

Sam Adams: Oh? Uhh … well, his name was Barry. It was years ago when I was growing up in Newport. He was a teammate on my basketball team. He was full of ... exuberance ... and he was smart, and popular, and um … he was very cute (grins).

JO: Have you ever personally faced openly anti-gay discrimination?

SA: Oh yeah...

JO: Physical violence?

Photo by Horace Long

SA: Yes, a long time ago. And I don’t … well, in this job you get called a lot of names. It just goes with the territory. So I try not to give them any power or encouragement by giving them any visibility at all.

November 2012

One of the more humorous stories along these lines, though, was when I was a City Commissioner. I was showing a business representative, who was looking at various towns to locate in, a parcel of land near the Convention Center. We were driving around with staff, and sitting there talking — this guy was new to Portland and new to me — when someone drives by and yells out, “Sam Adams sucks cock!” And, this guy Continues on page 33

Leo Schuman is Just Out’s political writer. Leo is a former lawyer and self-admitted political junkie. Reach him at Leo@JustOut.com

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PARENTING | Adoption

by Aaron Spencer

Family Of Misfits A mutual desire for children lead this couple to two adoptions. None of the four are biologically related and that makes for the perfect family.

Inside, the Bunkers’ home smells like smoked salmon. Teri Bunker is canning some of the 100 pounds of fish she brought back from a family trip to Alaska. She’s not freezing it like she usually does, not after the freezer at the clinic she owns lost power last year.

“Something just sort of awoke in me,” she says.

“There’s nothing worse than fish that’s spoiled,” she says from her plump leather sofa.

Teri, too, wanted children, but she was apprehensive about coming into a family with a child who was adopted.

Her partner Cindy, sitting in the armchair next to her, chimes in. “We’ve had several freezer accidents,” she says.

“I didn’t want to be a third parent,” she said.

But the most important commonality for the couple is their mutual desire for children. The pair has two sons, both 18, whom they adopted from the state. Neither Cindy nor Teri imagined years ago that they would adopt, especially an older child, but now they have a family they wouldn’t give up.

“I call us all the misfits,” Teri says. “None of us are related biologically, but we all came together to make our family.”

Cindy and Teri met through a personal ad in Willamette Week. Cindy wrote the ad – the only one she’s written – in which she explained that whoever replied should be comfortable with her 3-year-old adopted son, Michael.

Cindy had recently adopted Michael. She was 35 and working as a juvenile lawyer. Though she had never seriously considered adoption, through her work she saw signs of abuse – babies who were neglected, burned or shaken – that compelled her to act.

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“I felt that I had a pretty good life and support system,” she says, “and that it would be a good life for a child.”

But Teri clicked with both Cindy and Michael, and a year after they met, Teri adopted Michael as well. Michael calls his two moms “Mom-Cindy” and “Mom-Teri.”

Seven years passed before Cindy and Teri decided to adopt another child.

Michael always wanted a younger brother, but when Cindy was ready to adopt, Teri wasn’t, and vice versa.

“We needed to both be on the same page,” Teri says, “and it took us seven years to both say ‘yes.’”

This time, the couple adopted Isaac. At 10 years old, he was younger than Michael, but only by two months. And like most older children who are adopted, Isaac’s history is especially difficult. He was born premature to a 15-year-old mother who used methamphetamine. He was raised by his father who abused him until he was moved to foster care at age 7. His chaotic childhood hindered his development – when Teri and Cindy met him, he was in third grade but couldn’t read or eat with utensils.

“We weren’t sure if, IQ wise, we were going to have to set our sights lower for him,” Teri says.

But they didn’t. When they took Isaac home, they had him read for an hour every night. Isaac remembers one of his first books was about the Berenstain Bears.

November 2012

Photo by Horace long

Cindy, 53, and Teri, 48, look like a couple that has been together for 14 years. Both are dressed for comfort in tourist T-shirts, Teri’s shirt from Alaska and Cindy’s from New Orleans. They have short, no-nonsense haircuts that match their personalities. They sit in the living room of their Northeast Portland home, surrounded by Alaska Native art (despite their fondness for the state, neither is from there).

She adopted Michael, who was born to a 16-year-old mother. The teenager was living with him in a garage with no heat when someone reported her to the Department of Human Services. Michael was placed in foster care.

He never met his father. Cindy thought she could help.

THE BUN KER FAMILY: Cindy, Michael, Teri and Isaac.

“It was a really, really little kid book,” Isaac says, “and I couldn’t even read that.”

experiments. But both brothers have a cool confidence, one that they had to have gotten from their moms.

But Isaac worked hard, his moms say, and he improved. He had some hurdles – like one year where he did nothing but watch Netflix during class – but in the end, he says his moms helped him.

Michael starts college this fall at Oregon State University, where he’s studying biology. He wants to be a doctor, like Teri. Isaac will graduate from technical school in the summer. He plans to be a firefighter. Cindy and Teri have reason to be proud.

“They constantly nag me a lot about school,” he says, “but if they didn’t I wouldn’t do anything at school.”

Michael and Isaac, now adults, are markedly different – while Michael seems like he’d be the one in the front of the chemistry lab diligently following instructions, Isaac seems like he’d be in the back, creating his own November 2012

“When you become a parent, your entire life gets turned on its head,” Teri says, “but it’s even better than we expected." § SEE PAGE 59 FOR LGBTQ PARENTING RESOURCES Aaron Spencer is a professional editor and freelance writer. He is a regular features contributor for Just Out. Reach him at Aaron@JustOut.com

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PARENTING | Surrogacy

by Aaron Spencer

&

Two Men Two Babies This couple creates a family via an egg donor and surrogacy and enjoys the gift of parenting, something they thought they'd never have.

The men, Alvin Black, 25, and Seth Hutton, 35, keep a manicured lawn and a lavish, tasteful home. Their haircuts are neat and their clothes stylish. They have all the makings of a gay poster couple (well, except for their dogs; a German Shepherd and a Bulldog might be a little too butch for the stereotype).

But what puts Black and Hutton over the top for Most Enviable Couple are their children: twin boys, both with golden hair, scampering around and squealing with joy as only toddlers do.

The couple had the twins via surrogacy, a long process that put to the test their stamina for doing everything right. The process was also exorbitantly expensive and raised new concerns at every turn. But in the end, the couple’s diligence paid off.

The twins, named A.J. and Sterling, are 15 months old. They carry their tiny feet across the plush living room carpet, which was installed right before their birth (until then all the flooring was slick granite). The twins pass a portrait of themselves on a shelf. Its frame is engraved to read “Daddies' Boys.”

A.J. occasionally toddles up to Black and intentionally makes a face he knows will make his dad laugh. It works. Black says he didn’t anticipate the twins’ entire personalities.

“I knew I wanted children desperately,” Black says, “but I thought that just might not be a reality. And when the opposite became true, it was better than I expected.”

Though both men are strongly family-oriented, they had tabled the idea of having children. But when their relationship began, the topic repeatedly came up.

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“We both felt a disconnect,” Hutton says. “Being gay, you don’t have kids, but we wanted to use our life to contribute to another life. We both felt that’s why we were really here – to have children.”

The impulse gradually snowballed into attentive research. The couple considered their options. They ruled out adoption; their preferred method of adoption was almost as expensive as surrogacy, and they were afraid of last minute rejection. They were also considerably risk averse, apprehensive about unknown parts of an adopted child’s or a parent’s past.

They decided on surrogacy, which still left many questions. Who would be the biological father? Would either have hard feelings? Would they do the “swirl?” Those questions were tossed aside with one trip to Oregon Reproductive Medicine; the doctor recommended twins.

“I had seen celebrities do that,” Hutton says, “but I never thought it was an achievable option.”

The doctor came up with a remarkably simple scenario: each twin would be fathered by one of the dads, and both twins would come from the same mother’s eggs. The twins, in effect, would be half brothers, but each twin would be biologically connected to one of the dads.

The twins would be birthed from an unrelated surrogate. The entire process, including egg donation, surrogacy fees, hospital bills and other expenses, would end up costing more than $100,000 – or at least, that’s when Black and Hutton stopped keeping track.

Black and Hutton painstakingly vetted the egg donor and the surrogate, not only for health and intelligence, but for compatibility. In the thirty pages of information available for each anonymous egg donor, Black and Hutton searched for a hybrid of physical and personality traits that would complement both men.

When the delivery day came, the first baby to be delivered, Sterling, looked strikingly like Hutton, which worried him. What if the second baby looked like him, too?

November 2012

Photo courtesy of Alvin Black & Seth Hutton

Vancouver, WA, or “Vantucky” as it’s sometimes fondly called, may seem like an odd place for the perfect gay couple to live, but there they are, literally at the end of a cul-de-sac in the suburbs.

THE NEW NORMAL: Alvin Black and Seth Hutton and their twins A.J. and Sterling

“But when the second baby was born,” Hutton says, “I was almost in tears. It was a miniature Alvin. It just had to be Alvin, Jr.”

Now, Black and Hutton are enjoying the gift of parenthood they thought they’d never have.

The couple had initially been uncomfortable about each parent being more attached to his biological son than the other, but those concerns were alleviated in the delivery room.

“It was fun to give them their first taste of a mango or a watermelon,” Hutton says, “and watch this little soul that’s in a new body experience something new for the first time.”

“I was worried, genetics wise, if I was going to be tied to my own,” Hutton says. “I wondered if one was going to get a little more love than the other. But I knew immediately when they were born that was not going to be the case at all.”

Black nods. “It sounds like a cliché,” he says, “but until you’re a parent you will never know the feeling yourself." §

“We didn’t even have to try,” Black adds. “There was just natural cross over.”

November 2012

SEE PAGE 59 FOR LGBTQ PARENTING RESOURCES

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The Poet In Prison A rough life culminates for this young man with incarceration where time is his closest companion and poetry — his hope.

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Angelic Smile The love in my heart is not enough to save me.

I will carry the weight of your death upon my shoulders forever.

I’m killing myself one kiss at a time, in a lake of tears: a mirror I see a reflection of heaven so far away. I will hide my heart from the world.

As devils dance, while angels smile I’m lost to the light of your angelic smile.

JustOut.com

November 2012

REAL LIFE

by Jonathan Kipp

I’m still working at trusting people.

Zach Ross

Zach Ross slowly makes his way down a hallway that leads to what looks like an interrogation room. The sound of his ill-fitting plastic slippers, loudly rubbing against the shiny tiled floor, is the only sound in the building.

The dimly lit room’s only redeeming feature is a small window that frames beautiful misty and green rolling hills in the background. A more sobering scene is in the foreground: a grassy yard outlined with a tall chain link fence; a long single-file line of young men walk slowly across, watched closely by the guards. There are 6-foot men with big bulging muscles. And there are the puny 4-and-a-half foot boys who look like they should be playing on the monkey bars at an elementary school playground.

Zach is neither.

Dull gray walls spotted with plaster, a black metal desk, and one empty chair awaits Zach’s arrival. The sound of the shuffling slippers crescendo and then the flop-haired, crooked-tooth man/boy slinks into the empty chair. He wants to be here. He personally asked for the visit. I abided.

Zach seems used to the drill. He is calm and, regrettably, at home. He looks down at the floor and then out the window; back and forth, rarely catching the eye of the man with the notepad across the 4-foot wide drab desk. His wire-rimmed glasses habitually slip down the bridge of his nose. I tell him my little boy’s name is also Zach. He nods.

Eighteen-year-old Zach is in prison.

He won’t reveal exactly what got him here. He doesn’t have to. I quickly connect the dots. It’s safe to say what Zach did to land him in the big house, surrounded by other 12-to-25-year-old offenders also in custody of the Oregon Youth Authority, was serious. Very serious. The facility features more locking doors than one first-time visitor can count. Cameras abound, as do walkie-talkies on the hips and in the hands of beefy staff, announcing the every move of each resident and visitor.

Zach admits to “anger issues” and a tough time growing up. But he quickly fesses up that simple anger doesn’t land most people in prison at such a young age. And with that confession, the philosopher — and the artist and poet — begins to unexpectedly emerge.

“My parents did the best they could,” Zach says. “But other people, not so good.”

bothers Zach but he won’t elaborate.

“I don’t want him to come around me and my family members,” Zach says, shaking his head side to side.

Zach didn’t have much of a chance at a smooth transition into young adulthood. Chronic sexual abuse was followed by a diagnosis of Autism — Asperger’s Syndrome to be exact — at 13-years-old. He is beyond intelligent, with near-genius IQ, but socially handicapped, and with not an ounce of trust in humanity.

Despite his ill fortunes as a youth, society expects him to get along and do the right things. But he has struggled, and still struggles, with living up to that expectation.

“I’m still working at trusting people,” Zach sighs.

THE DREAM Zach is looking at transitioning out of this prison. He’s excited, he says.

And anxious. The real world, or half the real world, awaits his arrival. A half-way house will be his next stop if — big if — he makes all the right decisions and stays out of trouble until his release. He’s known to get angry and explode. Serious consequences typically follow and they tend to keep him in custody longer than not.

This young man has big hopes and dreams. He wants to work for the video conglomerate Pokeman when he’s older. He’d like to be a video game designer. Pokeman helped him through a tough time in his life, he explains. The characters never left his side. They never talked back. They never yelled. And they always listened to him, Zach says.

He goes on about the videogame.

Clearly, these Japanese characters are quite possibly the best thing that ever happened to Zach as he grew up. Nothing else, animate or inanimate, elicits such adoration as Zach unrolls his life story. It’s difficult to write that on my notepad as I glance out the small window, wondering how I would have faired in such a place when just 18.

Zach changes the subject and wants to know if I’ve read his poetry.

November 2012

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Photo by Jonthan Kipp

Zach is but one young gay man in the prison system. There are too many others. But he just may be the only one who is a published poet. And that Zach was molested by a close family member beginning when he was is what not only makes Zach unique, but gives him hope. Poetry keeps 10-years-old. He told, but his family didn’t listen. The creep continued to him going; keeps him in the game when he might otherwise consider violate young Zach a couple of times a week for a year. Eventually they throwing in the towel. Suicide often crosses his mind. busted the guy, photos of young Zach filled his hard drive. He’s in the Continues on page 29 penitentiary for 10 years. He gets out in two years though, a free man. It

FAMILY | In The Family Way

by Cathy Busha & Anna Deligio

2

Worse than Gay Dads From within our our community or from the mouth of Rick Santorum, gay parents often come under fire and that can be a challenge for our children.

On January 6, 2012 former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum suggested that children are better off with a father in prison than being raised by lesbian parents.

Citing the work of an anti-poverty expert, Santorum said, “He [the “expert”] found that even fathers in jail who had abandoned their kids were still better than no father at all to have in their children’s lives.”

and a mother;” rather, they need engaged, supportive adults who care about them.

Santorum continued to say that gays raising children amounts to “robbing children of something they need, they deserve, they have a right to.

You may rationalize that that isn’t true, but in your own life and in your own heart, you know it’s true.”

So if Heather’s two mommies aren’t the worst thing for her, could it even be that Heather may have an advantage? Psychologist Abbie Gold’s research makes the point that the accidental pregnancy rate for heterosexuals is almost 50 percent. Her study concludes that gay parents “tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because [most of them] chose to be parents.”

This weary diatribe isn’t surprising from Ricky.

However, on September 15, 2012, gay actor Rupert Everett shared in an interview, “I can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads.” In a Sunday Times piece, Everett said that he agrees with his own mother that children “need a father and a mother.”

Really? Why the Ozzie and Harriet comment from a gay man?

At the core of Everett’s comment is not only self-hatred in the form of internalized homophobia, but also ignorance of how the definition of “family” continues to grow and change.

The 2010 Census revealed there are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the United States today, and those parents are responsible for raising 21.8 million children (approximately 26 percent of children under 21 in the U.S. today). According to the Williams Institute (an LGBT think tank based out of UCLA), 22 percent of LGBT people in the U.S. are currently raising children. And, as of 2008, a record 49 million Americans, or 16.1% of the total U.S. population, lived in a family household that contained at least two adult generations or a grandparent and at least one other generation, according to the Pew Research Center.

More than statistics that confront Santorum and Everett’s outdated views, qualitative research confirms that children don’t “need a father

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In the 1995 documentary, Ballot Measure 9, Portland’s Kathleen Sadaat makes the excellent point that “the downfall of America isn’t that Heather has two mommies.” Instead, Sadaat continues, “It’s that Heather has a mommy and a daddy who aren’t paying attention to her – that Heather has a country who isn’t paying attention to her.”

Psychologist Peggy Drexler’s research demonstrates that children raised by gays and lesbian parents not only perform equally well in school as their peers with heterosexual parents, but that the children of gay and lesbian parents are “more self-aware, more adept at communicating their feelings, and exhibit more empathy for people different from themselves.” Her research shows that children of gay and lesbian parents develop skills in “thinking independently and standing up for what they believe in. This distinguishes them from many children with straight parents.”

So, Rupert Everett, there are much worse things than being raised by two men: abuse, neglect or perhaps the movie, The Next Best Thing.

The biggest challenge for children raised by gay and lesbian parents is not their parents, but homophobic laws and attitudes like Santorum’s and Everett’s. As Drexler concludes in her research: “Gay and lesbian parents represent not the worst-case scenario, but the best." §

In The Family Way is written by Cathy Busha and Anna Deligio. Cathy and Anna are the new parents to son Oliver. Reach tham at Cathleen_Anna@JustOut.com

November 2012

A POET IN PRISON

Continued from page 27 So Zach writes it out. He’s been writing for two years. Writing poetry helps him stay the course.

And the universe may well be saying “Yes!” His work, “Angelic Smile” won an honorable mention in a recent poetry contest and was published in Creative Connections. It’s now a hardbound book.

There are a lot of kids out there with a desire to publish juvenile poetry. Zach’s writing may be more than that. But he’s modest about the recognition, though clearly proud.

“It was good. It was awesome,” Zach says, showing more emotion than usual.

Almost every day Zach sits down and writes.

He’s prolific, he says, writing his poetry on school-style lined paper, often with crumpled corners. The poetry sooths him, even though its themes are dark — often macabre. Most adults don’t like his work, he says as he begins reading “The Rainbow’s Children” aloud, sans any emotion or inflexion in his voice.

In your disgusting society of hate, We were outcasts, We were the unwanted, The abused, The hated. No more are we those things. We are the children of the rainbow. We stand tall.

No more hiding who we are. No more hiding who we love. We are stronger for the abuse your society puts on us. We are wiser than our socalled parents. We are more open-minded than our “peers”. We are no longer going to sit in fear of your abusiveness. We are going to turn our backs to “society” and tell them: “We are done with you and your hatefulness.” We will not be abused. We will not become our abusers.

We will live in peace. Now is our Time to break free. To build our own society, separate from the hateful societies of the earth.

The writing reflects Zach’s life, if not just his inner and mostly unknown life. He’s depressed.

No doubt about it. Zach says so. He is bored in prison. He is sleeping too much. The staff doesn’t like it. He can’t control his anger. He says so. He’s sad.

A BETTER LIFE Coming out at 14 resulted with more drama in his life. He lost friends and some family couldn’t deal, he says.

“It’s no fun to be an outcast,” Zach says.

Continues on page 31

November 2012

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MIND | As We Are

by Brad Larsen, PsyD

Population Control What if we are part of the greater whole of humanity with a vital role to fulfill? Could we be responsible for the future of the planet?

I spent the majority of my childhood at a local theatre company working on stage, behind stage and in the lighting and sound booth. The Company Theatre, in addition to being a training ground for the performing arts, was and is an oasis of acceptance and love for queer youth where I grew up. The directors of the company were my surrogate parents and the community they created was my second family.

At 14-years-old, I had only come out to a few friends at the theatre when they convinced me I had to tell Jordie, who was a founding director of the theatre and a lesbian. During a rehearsal for a production of A Christmas Carol I asked her if I could meet with her privately. I nervously stalled and stuttered, but eventually said the words out loud, “I think I’m gay.” I later learned that I was the latest in a long line of gay and lesbian youth who came out to her over the years. She responded, of course, with a matter of fact love and warmth that I would have expected if I weren’t so scared about telling an adult for the first time. Jordie laughed and told me she thought that my older sister would be the first one from my family to come out. Then she told me her theory that being gay was a natural and important response to prevent overpopulation of the planet.

Her theory has rolled around in my head for nearly twenty years. It always seemed plausible to me, but I had never taken the time to research the idea.

A quick Google search tells me that this theory is in fact well considered by many. In 2010, G. Roger Denson wrote for The Huffington Post about homosexuality being a natural adjustment to control population and an essential element to for keeping the balance of nature. Imagine that.

He recounted a discussion with his priest in which they debated the merits of heterosexuality versus homosexuality. Denson made his point, “We preserve the species. We are conservation realized. We provide nature’s ... restraint ... on procreative extravagance. We keep human production from becoming ... overproduction ... pollution ... destruction unbridled.”

Denson went on to relate the work of genetic researchers in Korea who claim to have identified a gene in rats that can be turned on or off to influence the rat’s preference for other male or female rats. The tentative conjecture is that humans may also have this genetic light switch that gets turned on when the rate of procreation needs to be curbed to maintain an overall balance in nature.

The research behind these assertions remains inconclusive and I am sure

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there are holes in the theory, but the possibility leaves me envisioning the positive impact on the mental health of LGBT individuals and communities. What if we lived as if we have a profound mission? Denson writes, “of course population control also provides gays and lesbians, and in particular gay and lesbian youth, the purpose in life we seek.” In other words, we are an integral part of the greater whole of humanity and we have a vital role to fulfill. Is it possible for queer people to go from being considered mentally ill to essential to the balance of nature in the span of a century?

Why not?

We are conservation realized.

We know that LGBT individuals experience higher rates of depression and anxiety as well as suicide and substance abuse all related, in part, to religious and societal marginalization. Just imagine if queer youth could be raised with the belief that they are essential to the health and well-being of the earth. Rather than fearing damnation and perpetration by haters, youth could be truly free to blossom just as they are and contribute their talents to the betterment of society. It seems to me it is a possibility worth considering.

It turns out that Jordie was wise to many things, including my sister; she did come out, fifteen years later. §

Dr. Brad Larsen is a clinical psychologist resident in private practice. Reach him at brad@ bradlarsenpsyd.com. Brad's clinical supervisor is Dr. Sharon Chatkupt Lee (Oregon License Number 1599)

November 2012

A POET IN PRISON

Continued from page 29 Life went on. Until it didn’t.

That’s when Zach did what he won’t talk about; the thing that had Zach moving from one facility to another for over a year. That’s when the thing that happened landed him in ill-fitting slippers shuffling along long corridors and behind scores of locked doors with fences holding him twenty-four/seven.

Zach wants to do good things now. He wants to live well and to “do no harm,” as he puts it in his Wiccan-inspired life philosophy verbiage.

But that is questionable. Zach himself is not entirely sure he can change. The rage is right under the surface. The eventual explosion is apparent, even to a stranger.

“I really hope it goes well,” he says about his remaining time before release, eyes on the tiled floor.

While he questions himself, he is clear about what he wants in his life. He brightens up when he talks of his idyllic future: adopting kids in the system who have struggled like he has, owning a Victorian house, and a Husky or Chihuahua. He loves dogs.

Noticeably absent from Zach’s wish list is love — a man. But young Zach suddenly shows his more grown up and wise side.

“Important, but not necessary,” he glibly says.

We both simultaneously smile widely.

As we rise to say goodbye the dad in me wants to grab Zach and hug him. A part of me wants to break him out of prison and make sure he gets to where he needs to go in life. My heart is heavy leaving him there after he spilled his guts onto the metal desk and into my notepad. I opt for a firm handshake instead, looking Zach in the eye. “Keep writing,” I say.

“If I could get through to somebody … get (my poetry) out there ... it might do some good in the world,” Zach says. “That’s my whole goal.”

Zach turns and walks out of the small room. His slippers slide along the floor.

I get into my truck; I can’t drive fast enough to get home to hug my kids. §

Jonathan Kipp is the publisher of Just Out. He and his partner were foster parents to seven at-risk boys.. Today he is a father of two young children.

November 2012

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SPIRIT | Like A Prayer

by Jennifer Yocum

Mr. Behind The Sister

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence's Sister Krissy Fiction takes his vows and spiritual practice seriously.

You’ve probably seen him/her/them in drag religious garb at various community events. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are a spectacle wherever they go. But at least one of the flock comes to his Sisterhood through a spiritual history as colorful as his costume.

Kurt Granzow, Sister Krissy Fiction, says that he grew up without any spiritual tradition, with no religious practice whatsoever, “but in college two things happened. I came out as a gay man and started attending a conservative evangelical church. Obviously, there was a conflict.”

Granzow says that he chose the evangelical route, participating in ex-gay ministries and eventually going into professional ministry with his church until he was 30. But then his life took another leap when he moved to Oregon.

“The religious system I was in said that total acceptance of every jot and tittle [tiny mark] of the Bible was necessary or you had to throw out the whole thing. I was fine with most of it, but there were a few things I started to question. So I tossed it,” Granzow said.

But he didn’t toss the idea of faith altogether. Granzow became interested in Gnosticism, a “heretical” branch of the early Christian tradition. He describes Gnosticism as follows, “You don’t find salvation in belief but in gnosis [knowledge/experience/transformation]. It’s an intimate kind of knowledge.”

But Kurt the Gnostic Christian is only one role. He’s also a neo-pagan. Granzow’s been in a coven of the Alexandrian Wiccan tradition since 2002. He describes Wicca as a belief system that sees the Divine expressed in masculine and feminine energies as expressed in nature.

Granzow says his Wiccan path, “involves the practice of magic, bringing your will into reality. You use a physical focus, like a candle, to focus on changing your reality. Magic may involve saying a spell but also doing the physical things necessary to achieve the end you want. Like if you want a job, you say a spell but you also fill out a resume and do a good interview.”

Granzow says that magic has to be mindful, “In Wiccan theology, energy always comes back to you.

Generally in Wiccan practice, people don’t do curses or hexes. You have to be careful what you ask for!

In my experience people are into improving themselves, changing circumstances of their own lives.”

Photo courtesy of Krissy Fiction

Just Out's Like a Prayer is written by Rev. Jennifer Yocum, pastor of the Forest Grove United Church of Christ. Reach her at Jennifer@JustOut.com

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Kurt the Ex ex-gay minister. Kurt the Gnostic Christian. Kurt the Neo-Pagan. And Sister Krissy Fiction!

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence perform to raise money for various charitable organizations, but Granzow says that for him, being a Sister has a deeper meaning. “Some of the other Sisters just want to have fun and make money, but Sisters take a vow to ‘promulgate universal joy and expiate stigmatic guilt.’

For me, that’s been a really significant part of my spiritual practice.”

And as a man with no shortage of spiritual practices, this Sister works it right. §

November 2012

CITIZEN SAM

Continued from page 20

just turns to me and says, “I think we’re going to get along great!” It turns out he was gay, too (laughs).

JO: Have you ever resented being born gay? Ever wished you were born straight?

SA: I’ve never resented it but, yeah, there were times when I wished I were born straight; growing up in a small town where I didn’t know anyone else gay. I didn’t even know what the concept was, really. And I definitely didn’t know anyone who felt like I did. So, yeah, there were times when it was just incredibly lonely. And being teased was, well, you know, hard to bear. It’s just … this was back in the 70’s, and you’re completely alone … it was mortifying being called “faggot.” Yeah, it was mortifying.

JO: Knowing all you know now, would you run for mayor again?

SA: Absolutely. This has got to be one of the best public service jobs in the entire world. We have a city that has high expectations, plus a willingness to roll up our sleeves to meet and exceed those expectations. There is no more wonderfully challenging job than being mayor of this city. I love this job because I love the people in this city.

It’s a combination of high expectations and very participatory residents. Which is great! I love it!

JO: What’s your approach to working in a job that invites constant public criticism?

SA: For me, it’s about keeping an ear open to all of it. Because even if the intent is malicious, I’m still looking to test my assumptions and make sure I have as clear a picture of something as I possibly can. That I’ve thought about all the potential questions and potential answers, and that they’re as accurate as they can be.

You have to be tough in this job, but, I’m on guard and my staff is on guard for making sure I have a clear understanding of what is going on. You have to listen to the criticism. Even the meanest, most vicious criticism you still have to listen and ask, “Have it I got it right?”

JO: How did it feel when you learned that [former Just Out owner/editor] Marty Davis had called on you to resign?

SA: Of course it was very disappointing.

But … you know, I am very understanding of everybody’s reaction to that issue. I made a mistake. I lied. And, so while her call Continues on page 34 November 2012

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Citizen Sam

Continued from page 33 to resign was disappointing, I had to be respectful of everybody’s response [in January 2009, Adams admitted lying to the media about an affair he’d had with a young state legislative intern, leading to a public outcry which included some of Portland’s LGBTQ community].

JO: Two failed recall attempts and you’re still the mayor. What does that say about Portland?

SA: I think Portlanders are fair-minded people. That’s another reason I am so bonded with this city. Even before I ran for office — we’re not perfect, no city is perfect - time and time again I saw this city rally around what is fair, what is right, and do so in a progressive way that other cities might aspire to, but do not deliver on as often as Portland does.

JO: What has been your proudest moment as mayor?

SA: I am most proud of my work on education. There are very few panaceas in life, but a good education is pretty darn close. If you’re better educated, you make more money. You’ll be healthier. If you have an education, the numbers show you’ll be happier. Education comes in many ways: skills training, entrepreneurial risk, college, but not just college, by any means.

There are four kids in my own family. Two dropped out of high school, and two of us graduated. So I’ve personally seen behind the statistic of a high school drop out, watching my siblings suffer mightily. So, I know education is good for the city, but for me it’s also personal.

When you come from a hardscrabble or poor background, it’s really hard to get through school. It’s really hard if your parents are doing what they can to stay afloat, but they’re not there emotionally, or even physically, to encourage you through inevitable tough times. I’ve seen what happens to very smart people who drop out of high school, and don’t go on to get a trade or skill, or get to college.

So, we’ve had a major uptick in high school graduations, after four years of concerted effort with our Future Connect program, and after All Hands Raised, which is the new county-wide foundation for all the school districts in the city, plus enhancing our scholarship program, and doubling summer school. These things are about human potential and human infrastructure, so that young people can meet their full potential. And, we’ve done all this in a way that does not depend on a mayor for it’s future success. It’s built into the community, institutionalized in the public and private sectors, and inculcated in the community. That’s what I’m most proud of, because all of that will live on long after I’m gone.

JO: What does your gut say? Will we have marriage equality in 2014?

SA: Yes! I think so. I think that Oregonians are coming to realize that marriage strengthens society for everyone. Loving couples who have legal support and legal rights strengthen every community in the state, and there are LGBTQ couples in every one of Oregon’s 36 counties. We will be a stronger state when marriage is available for everyone.

JO: What does Portland need to do better?

SA: Our Achilles’ heel is that, as great a city as we are, our “greatness” is not accessible to everybody. We’re not living up to our progressive values when it comes to equity. When you compare Portlanders of color to Seattleites of color and San Franciscans of color, and you look at the economic and academic disparities that have existed in all three cities; in Seattle and San

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Francisco they’ve gotten more equal, while in Portland we’ve gotten less equal. So that’s our biggest challenge.

Our second biggest challenge is that we need to continue strengthening the economy for everybody. Our quality of life is not matched by our quality of economy. So, my service as Portland’s mayor has been focused on the “meat and potatoes” of business development. It’s not sexy work, but helping local business expand, succeed, and export around the world is what we need. Recruiting other businesses where we have gaps in our economics and ecosystem is what we need. So, I’ve focused a lot of work on that. It’s hard work. It takes a lot of time and a lot of patience. It’s behind the scenes work, because every company wants their secrets kept for proprietary reasons.

Our City Council report on economic development strategy, though, shows this hard work pays off. Our goal is to double our exports in the next five years, and we can do that. What’s imagined and designed and made in Portland is unmatched in terms of products and services around the world.

JO: What would you say to other elected officials about the experience you’ve had working with the transgender community, and Portland’s efforts towards equity for this community?

I expect the next mayor to be a huge champion of marriage equality.

SA: I am very passionate about this issue, because we are all unique. If you are lucky enough to grow old, you will probably experience age discrimination at some point. Issues of equity and fairness should matter to everyone.

The transgender community has been marginalized even within the lesbian and gay rights movement. [Longtime leading local transgender activist] Lori Buckwalter really educated me. She was just a great gal. She and her partner and I would go to coffee or something, because I wanted to get educated. And, the amount of abuse that they used to take just walking down the street was so shameful and so hurtful ... I felt embarrassed that in this city I love so much some would say such incredibly nasty and hurtful things to Lori and her partner.

So I am very proud of our work to provide opportunities and equity, including transgender healthcare benefits, here in Portland. I can’t believe that so few cities in the U.S. do that. This needs to change. I’m also very proud that when the Portland Police Bureau did an “It Gets Better” video, Continues on page 58

November 2012

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Presenting Sponsor:

Sponsored by: Q Center is a multigenerational community center that provides programs and services to the LGBTQ and allied community in four core program areas: Health & Wellness, Education & Training, Arts & Culture, and Advocacy.

Q Center’s mission is to provide a safe space to support and celebrate LGBTQ diversity, visibility and community building. Our vision is a broadened positive perception of LGBTQ people.

Bars | Restaurants | Beaches | Adult Options People Watching | Community Resources | Fun! A

HEADER in our swank hotels. If you are into people watching, check out Pioneer Square - Portland's "living room," especially on a sunny day.

NORTHWEST Between West Burnside and NW Upshur, from NW 15th to NW 26th

Back in the day this was the "gay neighborhood." Since then, we've spread out across the city but Northwest is still a favorite for grabbing a coffee, cool shopping, great food and enjoying the ambiance of Nob Hill. It's our Greenwich Village, some think.

PEARL DISTRICT Between West Burnside and NW Overton, from the NW Broadway to NW 15th

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WHERE TO EAT, DRINK, STAY, & PLAY PORTLAND

PABA The Portland Area Business Association promotes the local LGBT community and their allies in business. The group offers regular networking opportunities and members are involved in community events including the annual Pride Festival's PABA Village. paba.com 36

Portland's LGBT community isn't concentrated in one neighborhood like in some cities. Since we are an especially diverse group, living in the Rose City, you can find us in every nook and cranny of the Metro area.

Speaking of NYC comparisons, the Pearl District is our Soho. Not long ago it was the epicenter of seedy Portland. But that has given way to multi-million dollar penthouse lofts, hip restaurants, shops — everything chic. Well-dressed LGBTs can be seen here.

OLD TOWN/CHINATOWN Between West Burnside and NW Lovejoy from the the Willamette River to NW Broadway

The home of our Chinatown and where you can experience a little bit of grit. Colorful people, some great drinking holes, and some good late night Chinese are the backdrop as you pass through, on your way from the Pearl to stroll along the Willamette River. A few gay bars and clubs make this one of our neighorhoods.

MISSISSIPPI AVE. In North Portland, North from Fremont St

That said, here are eight neighborhoods where our community members are likely to be seen playing, eating, drinking and living.

DOWNTOWN SW Portland between Burnside and Lincoln from the Willamette River to SW 12th.

This is the area that blows out-oftowners away. Shopping, the arts, restaurants, a view of the river and Mt. Hood, and clean to boot.

This is where the professional set suit up and make money and most out-of-towners rest at night

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Some people will tell you this is the real Portland. Artsy, quirky, independent and diverse. Some of the best food here and more people watching. One part hipstercentral and one-part true Portland this is a new favorite for locals and tourists alike.

Please send your corrections, suggestions and comments about the GO PAGES to: editor@justout.com

ALBERTA DISTRICT In Northeast Portland, heading East on Alberta from NE MLK Jr. Blvd

Like the Mississippi neighborhood, Alberta District is hip, cool and down to earth. Art is what most people think of. Last Thursday is the big deal on these streets where the melting pot that is Portland come together to eat, drink, and look at cool art.

HAWTHORNE/BELMONT In Southeast Portland between SE 12th and SE 60th From SE Hawthorne Blvd to SE Belmont St

Before there were the new cool neighborhoods, there was this one. This was hippy central back in the day and you can still feel the vibe as you make your way up and down the streets. When you see Portland on TV, this is probably the area you see. It's Portland personified, where the grunge look incubated and, to be honest, still lives.

IRVINGTON/HOLLYWOOD NE Broadway, from Grand to Hollywood Blvd and beyond

Beautiful tree-lined streets with lots of gay homeowners and renters in the area. Before Alberta and Mississippi came into their own, this was "gay central."

Q CENTER provides a safe space to support and celebrate LGBTQ diversity, visibility and community building.

Q Center offers multigenerational programs and services in four core areas: Arts & Culture; Education & Training; Health & Wellness and Advocacy. pdxqcenter.org November 2012

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OREGON TOWNS Oregon's LGBT community is, of course, largest in the Portland Metro area. But our community members quite literally live in every corner of this big state.

Several smaller cities and towns have annual Pride celebrations and other opportunities for community members to meet.

ASHLAND Home of The Oregon Shakespeare Festival, this is one of the gay-friendliest spots in the state.

Out-of-town actors in residence, coupled with new comers, make this tiny town a wonderful stop.

Pride is in early October.

Sopride.org ASTORIA This picturesque and kicked-back town at the mouth of the Columbia River has a regular Q-Night at a local bistro. astoriacoffeehouse.com BEND The Aspen of Oregon. This is the hub of the Central Oregon LGBT community. The community is an interesting mix of cowboys and ranch hands, more well-to-do LGBTers on the pristine golf courses that surround Bend, athletes, and outdoorsy types.

Pride is in June. humandignitycoalition.org CORVALLIS The more conservative Corvallis, home to Oregon State Unversity, is coming along with a growing community and LGBT resources. They celebrate Pride in late June.

PrideCorvallis.com EUGENE See page 41 GRANTS PASS This little town hosts one of the only PFLAG chapter in Southern Oregon. Though it is often considered an arch-conservative city, even rumored to have an Aryan Brotherhood group, the people at

the United Methodist Church are working hard to counterbalance that. phelpsmerland@charter.net HOOD RIVER Known for windsurfing, scenic beauty, and trust funders, Hood River has a small LGBT community. Downtown has shopping, small restaurants and coffee shops. The vibe says it's okay to be gay here.

KLAMATH FALLS This conservative rural town is getting organized to make life for the LGBT folks safer and more welcome. klambda.org LINCOLN CITY "California and Seattle aren’t the only places where you can comfortably enjoy the Pacific Ocean," the tourist website says. This beach town is focused on the LGBT market. Pride is in September. oregoncoast.org/lgbt PENDLETON Though this is the old West and cowboy country, Pendleton has an active group of citizens supporting human rights activism and an active PFLAG chapter.

PFLAG-pendleton.org SALEM See page 40

DRAG Some say Portland has among the best drag queens in the biz. The epicenter of that scene has to be Darcelle XV, the oldest drag caberet in the country. The Embers also has regular shows. And the city is packed with pageants of all sorts. darcellexv.com embersportland.com

SCANDALS 1125 SW Stark St scandalspdx.com

PDX DRINKS

Comfortable yet filled with energy. During the warmer months get a sidewalk table.

SOUTHWEST Check out these Portland spots.

Most are LGBT establishments, where you can feel comfortable and at home.

SILVERADO 318 SW Third Ave silveradopdx.com

BOXXES 1025 SW Stark St boxxes.com

NORTHWEST

This landmark bar is going to change BIG TIME, we hear. Expect greater things at this site in the months to come. In the meantime enjoy this lounge, regular special events and a convivial atmosphere.

ESCAPE 333 SW Park Ave At the corner of SW Stark/Park An all ages LGBTQ nightclub.

FEZ BALLROOM 316 SW 11th Ave fezballroom.com One of the premier showcase venues for live music and djs in the city.

Lounge, nightclub, VIP area, and outdoor terrace. Add strippers.

CASEY'S 610 NW Couch St caseyspdx.net Casey's is an all inclusive lounge that welcomes anyone. It's a place for people from diverse demographics.

CC SLAUGHTERS 219 NW Davis St 503-248-9135 ccslaughterspdx.com Gay nightclub and martini lounge. Special events. 2,000 watt sound system and killer lighting and laser show.

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PDX DRINKS NORTHWEST

HOBO'S 120 NW Third. Ave hobospdx.com

DARCELLE XV SHOWPLACE 208 NW Third Davis St darcellexv.com

Piano bar and restaurant. A mainstay for local LGBTQs for good food/drinks for years.

Darcelle XV is the epicenter of drag performances. The oldest, and one of the last venues, of its kind in the country. Strippers late night too.

EMBERS AVENUE 110 NW Broadway embersportland.com Dance bar and show club for 43 years.

Shows Wed-Saturday.

FOX & HOUNDS 217 NW Second Ave

BRANX/ROTTURE 320 SE Second Ave rotture.com A live music venue located in the Lower Southeast Industrial neighborhood. Frequent queer events.

VAULT MARTINI BAR 226 NW 12th Ave vault-martini.com A Fireplace, 18-foot glass bar, and 44 kinds of martinis. Need we say more?

A friendly neighborhood bar.

HAMBURGER MARY'S 19 NW Fifth Ave hamburgermarys.com/pdx Food, dancing, special events. Lots of fun.

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SOUTHEAST CRUSH 1400 SE Morrison St crushbar.com A little bit of everything. "11 years of DRAMA! Everything from drag queen cat fights to naked twister, jealous girlfriends to t-shirts and tight blue jeans," their website says.

HOLOCENE 1001 SE Morrison St holocene.org Live music venue with regular queer events.

STARKY'S 2913 SE Stark St starkys.com Neighborhood bar and restaurant.

NORTHEAST JOQ'S TAVERN 2512 NE Broadway joqs.webs.com A neighborhood tavern.

LOCAL LOUNGE 3536 NE MLK Jr. Blvd local-lounge.com "We are looking to meet the white collared and the blue collared, the starving artist and the hopeful musicians, the young and the old, the liberal and the liberal, the Blazer fan and the Laker hater, men and women, gay or straight," their website says.

NORTH THE EAGLE PORTLAND 835 N Lombard St eagleportland.com "The Eagle is the kind of men’s bar that fits like your favorite pair of jeans. It’s a relaxed hang-out for the men of North Portland," their website says.

FLORIDA ROOM 435 N Killingsworth St "It's got everything the pro and amateur barfly can appreciate and then some."

PortlandBarFly.com says. Queers go here.

FOGGY NOTION 3416 N Lombard St facebook.com/thefoggynotion Live rockshows. Queer events, too.

VANCOUVER

According to the Columbian, the Advocate ranked Vancouver as the country’s No. 6 "gayest city" in 2011. That's right! The Vancouver with the WA after it. That was three spots above Seattle; five ahead of San Francisco. And way above Portland. We know!

But congratulations to our brothers and sisters across the river. We truly are happy for you. “One gets the sense that a lot of those groovy gay and lesbian Portlanders are mellowing out and coming here to settle down."

Advocate reporter Mike Albo wrote. gayvancouverwa.org

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Q LIVE VENUES

ADULT

Aladin Theater

HAWK PDX hawkspdx.com

aladdin-theater.com

New men's bathhouse, sex club, and social venue.

Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside

STEAM PDX steamportland.com

Doug Fir

TABOO ADULT VIDEO taboovideo.com

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave

facebook.com/CrystalBallroom

830 E. Burnside dougfirlounge.com

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St holocene. org

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave mississippistudios.com

Roseland Theater

A men's bathhouse and club.

Adult everything is available.

MR. PEEPS mrpeeps.com Since 1981. Adult products.

SHEBOP Sheboptheshop.com Female-friendly adult products.

FANTASY VIDEO fantasyforadultsonly.com Erotic products and videos.

8 NW Sixth Ave roselandpdxQA.com

BEACHES

If you are into beaches au natural, Oregon is your state. According to naked.wikia.com there are four public spots to check out (and numerous private businesses where you can strip down).

• Sauvie Island (Collins Beach) Fully 100% legal nude beach.

• Rooster Rock State Park View a 360 degree moving panoramic of Rooster Rock taken at an extreme Columbia River low water level. Fully 100% legal nude beach.

• Glassbar Island aka Bring Beach in the Eugene/Springfield area. Volunteers are working with the State Parks to establish a official clothing optional beach in this area along a fork of the Willamette River.

• Nudy Rock on the McKenzie River a mile up from Armitage Park near Eugene.

November 2012 JustOut.com

PDX HOTELS Portland is full of fantastic hotels at all price points. Here are a few where you are apt to see your fellow LGBTers.

LUXE

HOTEL MONACO 506 SW Washington St. monaco-portland.com Smart, savvy, fun and eclectic; eco-chic, family friendly and welcoming to pets, Hotel Monaco serves up cutting-edge Portland seasoned with colorful Pacific NW history.

NINES HOTEL 525 SW Morrison thenines.com Poised in the heart of the city center at the top of one of Portland, Oregon's Meier & Frank Building. This is swanky for Portland.

ACE HOTEL 1022 SW Stark St acehotel.com/portland Ace Hotel Portland is a small hotel in historic downtown, surrounded by gay bars and the Pearl just steps away. Look for celebs.

HEATHMAN HOTEL 1001 SW Broadway heathmanhotel.com The Heathman Hotel offers an inspiring blend of natural elegance and modern lifestyle. And they have original Warhols.

HOTEL DELUXE 729 SW 15th Ave hoteldeluxeportland.com A contemporary tribute to the Golden Era of Hollywood filmmaking that tastefully balances art deco and art modern styles for a mix of timeless sophistication and serene comfort. Check out the Driftwood Lounge.

LESS $$. STILL NICE. CRYSTAL HOTEL 302 SE 12th mcmenamins.com/CrystalHotel This hotel was for decades of one Portland's most popular men's bath houses and bars.

JUPITER HOTEL 800 E Burnside jupiterhotel.com A mid-century, renovated motor innturned-boutique hotel in the heart of Portland, minutes away from Downtown Portland. Markets to gay tourists.

MARK SPENCER HOTEL 409 SW 11th Ave markspencer.com At Stark Street in the center of gay everything. Extended stays available.

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SALEM

The Capitol City has an LGBT scene all its own. Local leaders say they have a virbrant, active community, and are much friendlier and mutually supportive than many other cities. Snap! The hub of the local scene may be the SouthSide Speakeasy where locals drink, eat and enjoy the shows.

Capitol Pride Salem, in downtown, is in early August. southsidespeakeasy.com salempride.com

PDX EATS Not queer per se, but among the favorites of locals to eat, drink and hang out. Plus some reader choices.

BLUEHOUR 250 NW 13th Avenue bluehouronline.com Spacious, elegant venue. Many attractive gay men. Gay owned.

DEPARTURE 525 SW Morrison St departureportland.com Atop the Nines Hotel in the old M&F Building. Deck overlooks Portland.

GILT CLUB 306 NW Broadway giltclub.com Between the Pearl and Old Town. Hipsters and queers abound. Serving food late.

IRVING STREET KITCHEN 701 NW 13tth irvingstreetkitchen.com So Portland. Elegant, comfy-cozy and hip.

In the Pearl. What more would you want?

MINT/820 816 N Russell St mintand820.com

A award winning spot. Cozy, elegant. Like going home to your gay-loving rich mom's house.

CAFE NELL NW 20th & Kearney cafenell.com A NYC-meets-Paris small cozy bistro. Gay friendly. Where Just Out staff celebrated our re-launch. Delightful!

PALIO DESSERT HOUSE 1996 SE Ladd Ave palio-in-ladds.com "If you are looking for that perfect hideaway to meet that special someone, or write that late term paper, it can be found at Palio," their website says.

POK POK 3226 SE Division St pokpokpdx.com We know people who work here. And, yes, it is as good as you hear. Go!

SAUCEBOX 214 W Broadway saucebox.com "...pioneering Portland’s Deejay-Cafe movement, with equal emphasis on food, service, and vibe," their website says. Gay owned.

A pan America Bistro. Sleek, cushy interior.

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READERS' FAVS

MOTHER'S BISTRO 212 SW Stark mothersbistro.com

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We recently polled our fans on Facebook. These are some recommendations for LGBT diners.

Toro Bravo Grüner Firehouse La Bonita Russell Street BBQ Interurban Monsoon Thai Bar Bar Brass Tacks Kenny & Zukes Lovely's 50/50 Dick's Kitchen Southside Speakeasy Kelly's Olympian Pizza Nostra Maize The Roxy Bartini/Urban Fondue Bamboo Grove McGraths

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PDX EVENTS This is not an exhaustive list of LGBTQ events in the area, but it highlights how vibrant our community is throughout the year.

(June thru May)

PORTLAND BLACK PRIDE Small but growing.

In early June. facebook.com/portland.blackpride BEARTOWN A multiple day celebration of everything BEAR. Early June. beartownweekend.com PORTLAND PRIDE The biggest pride celebration in the region. Big parade, festival, and many other sanctioned (and un-sanctioned) events.

Parade on Father's Day in June. pridenw.org MR. MISS AND MS. GAY OREGON The Imperial Sovereign Rose Court holds its annual pageant.

In late June. rosecourt.org

November 2012

HEADER LA FEMME OREGON LA FEMME INT'L Oregon Pageant, mid July International Pageant, early September.

lafemmemagnifiquepageant.com

PORTLAND LATINO PRIDE The longest running Latino gay pride in the Northwest. In mid-July. latinogaypridepdx.com QUEER MUSIC FESTIVAL A music festival celebrating our diverse queer community!

Mid-July. facebook.com/pdxmusicfestival PEACOCK AFTER DARK Sometimes campy, sometimes cutting-edge but always entertaining. Raises money for scholarships. Early September. peacockafterdark.org MUSICFESTNW Features many queer acts. Early September. musicfestnw.com GAY FAIR IN THE SQUARE LGBT friendly organizations

EUGENE

for an afternoon of music, information, and interaction.

Mid-September at Pioneer Square. pdxgmc.org

NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY Mid-October. pridenw.org

CAP AIDS WALK PORTLAND A 2.5 mile annual walk brings together individuals, teams and volunteers with the goal of raising much-needed funds for HIV/AIDS services, public education and outreach to youth and adults most at risk.

In late September. cascadeaids.org

IMPERIAL SOVEREIGN ROSE COURT CORONATION Mid October. rosecourt.org

PORTLAND LESBIAN & GAY FILM FESTIVAL For nearly 16 years, this festival has been bringing thought-provoking and entertaining queer cinema to Portland.

In October. plgff.org IGNITE The Basic Rights Oregon Event Recognizing community leaders, business executives, lawmakers, supporters, and activists who have furthered equality. Mid-October bro.org

The home to University of Oregon, Eugene is known for its large lesbian population.

Liberal in nature, Eugene is so laid back it has to be gay-friendly. But the city lacks the infrastructure that Portland enjoys; it doesn't have a gay bar or restaurant. The city has 100 parks and 2,600 acres of open-space, arts, culture and lots of academics though.

Check out John Henry's and the Curthbert Amphitheater for queer live acts. The city celebrates Pride in Alton Baker Park in midAugust. gayeugene.com queereugene. com eugenepride.org thecuthbert.com facebook.com/johnhenrysclub

BENT: A HALLOWEEN'S EVE BALL Get out your “bent” costume and get ready for a nontraditional, sophisticated and provocative party featuring dancing and celebration of the haunted season. Late October. equityfoundation.org WORLD AIDS DAY December 1. Many events. worldaidsdaynw.org/events Q Center Winter Gala Late January Elegant and fun. Not your average dress-up fundraiser.

Dance the night away. pdxqcenter.org

RED DRESS PARTY Hundreds of men and women in red dresses partying to raise money for charities. Many say this is the party of the year.

Mid-April. reddresspdx.com BRO'S OREGONIANS AGAINST DISCRIMINATION Business Leaders Luncheon Mid-April. bro.org CAP ART AUCTION An iconic event to raise money to prevent the spread of HIV/ AIDS and provide service to those infected or affected by HIV in the Northwest. In late April. capartauction.org QDOC Portland Queer Documentary Film Festival The only festival in the United States (and only the second in the world) devoted exclusively to queer documentaries.

In mid-May. queerdocfest.org

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CURTAIN CALL Live theatre and dance companies popular with local LGBT audiences.

Triangle Productions In its 23rd year, they are one of the city's oldest live theater companies and an LGBT favorite. tripro.org Miracle (Milagro) Theatre Productions in English, Spanish, and sometimes bi-lingual. Some LGBT subject matter. milagro.org Artists Repertory Theatre Bringing Portland the newest and most exhilarating plays being written today and simultaneously showcase the talents of local theatre artists. artistsrep.org Portland Center Stage The largest producing theater in Portland. pcs.org

PEOPLE WATCH There is an endless list of things to do in Portland and throughout the state. But if you aren't that ambitious, consider the numerous LGBT people-watching spots in The Rose City and the quick day trips you can savor, tourist or local.

Check out PORTLAND SATURDAY MARKET (SW Naito Pkwy).

Even if you aren't into crafts and vendor food, the Portland vibe down by the river is a memorable one. Soak up some sun or jump in the mud puddles. portlandsaturdaymarket.com The PORTLAND FARMER'S MARKET at PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY (Saturday mornings, March thru December, on the South Park Blocks on campus) is hard to beat for relaxing, nibbling, and slow strolling. portlandfarmersmarket.org Just steps away from the university is the PORTLAND ART MUSEUM (1219 SW Park). Featuring the best of fine art shows, multi-media presentations, and film, this museum is one of Port-

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land's gems. Not surprisingly, our community is a big supporter and keeps at least one eye on the goings-on there. pam.org After shopping and eating your way through downtown, grab a coffee at PIONEER COURTHOUSE SQUARE (Broadway between Morrison and Yamhill), Portland's "living room". Some days are better than others, but this block tends to have special events and a wide array of people to watch. thesquarepdx.org

Oh! What could be more Portland than a feminist community center?

IN OTHER WORDS (14 NE Killingsworth St). A bookstore is the centerpiece of this local treasure. inotherwords.org

Jump in the car and head out of Portland on I-84 (due East) to the COLUMBIA GORGE. Stop by the clothing-optional beach about 20 minutes out (see Beaches on pg.

41) or any of the beautiful waterfalls. Lots of people. crgva.org Or head West to the OREGON COAST. In about 70 minutes — one of the most beautiful coastlines in the world. Lincoln City, Cannon Beach, Seaside, and Astoria are all gay-friendly and have accommodations that welcome our community. (See purpleroofs.com) visittheoregoncoast.com

A short drive from downtown is the PITTOCK MANSION (3229 NW Pittock Dr) Besides seeing an amazing 22-room mansion over looking the city, you're bound to see tourists that also have discerning taste in architecture and who are people watching as well. pittockmansion.org

On the way back to Portland, visit the WINERIES OF YAMHILL & WASHINGTON COUNTY. Now, this detour may just make a visitor want to move here. Or if you are a local, at the very least you'll fall back in love with Gay Oregon all over again. willamettewines.com

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If you have a little more time...

THE OREGON ZOO AND WASHINGTON PARK (4001 SW Canyon Rd) are full of LGBT types enjoying nature, caged animals, and snowcones. Once a cruisy area, we don't recommend it any longer. It's still fun though. oregonzoo.org

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Defunkt Theater An ensemble theatre company dedicated to creating innovative productions that challenge conventional ideals at a reasonable price. defunktheatre.com OregonBallet Theatre A blend of the classics and contemporary perfomances. obt.org White Bird Dance Fostering the growth of dance in Portland. whitebird.org Portland Center for the Performing Arts Twenty-one resident companies call the PCPA home. From lectures to opera, symphony to the ballet.

It's all here. pcpa.com

The Portland Gay Men's Chorus

aspires to expand, redefine, and perfect the choral art through eclectic performances that honor and uplift the gay community and affirm the worth of all people. pdxgmc.org

The Portland Lesbian Choir

is a non-audition community chorus welcoming all women who love to sing and laugh. plchoir.org

Rose City Gay Freedom Band

Three larger groups (a symphonic wind ensemble, a 16-piece swing band and a marching band) and several smaller ensembles. rcgfb.org

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September 2012

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RESOURCES A

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Just Out and our sponsors are happy to provide these resources to our readers. We believe it is of paramount importance to reach out in every way possible to inform our community, and our important supporters, of the many resources that help make our LGBT community members' lives better.

HEALTH: HIV/AIDS/STDs CARE:ASSIST pays for health insurance premiums, prescription drugs and insurance plan co-payments and deductibles for eligible people with HIV/AIDS. Program of Oregon DHS and the Ryan White CARE Act. 503-731-4029 CASCADE AIDS PROJECT (CAP) educates youth and adults about HIV prevention, supports people with HIV and their families and advocates for sound HIV policy and legislation on the national, state, and local levels. Spanish-language assistance available.

Oregon HIV/STD Hotline 800-777-2437 CAP VANCOUVER: offers free rapid HIV testing to men who have sex with men in Vancouver, WA 360-750-7964 CLACKAMAS COUNTY Public Health offers anonymous and confidential HIV testing and counseling to everyone. No needles. Free condoms. Call for appointment or walk-in testing times. Oregon City. Sandy. Molalla.

82nd Ave. 503-742-5382

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COLUMBIA COUNTY Public Health offers anonymous and confidential HIV testing, counseling and case management to anyone.

We lend HIV books and videos and offer education materials and free condoms.

503-397-4651 DAILY BREAD EXPRESS provides home delivery of high-quality meals to HIV-positive individuals in need. Fresh meals delivered weekdays, frozen meals for weekend. Volunteers invited to inquire. Mara 503-460-3822 ESTHER’S PANTRY in Milwaukie provides food and personal care items to people with HIV/AIDS. Call to donate or for services.

503-349-4699 ourhouseofportland.org FUZEON INFO GROUP welcomes people contemplating, using, or caregiving for Fuzeon recipients. Facilitated by experienced nurses and social workers. 503-230-1202, ohsu.edu HEALTH, EDUCATION, AIDS LIAISON (HEAL) offers information about alternative views of AIDS causation and HIV testing.

Call for free packet of information. 503-2272339, bwport@comcast.net HIV DAY CENTER offers hot meals, counseling, laundry facilities, clothing, showers and hygiene supplies, computers with Internet access, phones, mail drop, recreational activities, massage and haircuts. Volunteers invited to inquire. 503-460-3822 THE LINK, a social networking group for HIV-positive gay and Bi men, meets every month for social events, discussions and other outings. 503-278-3868, thelink@ cascadeaids.org MANIFEST, a nonprofit men’s wellness community, prevents and addresses HIV and STD’s by empowering men to pursue their wellness passions together through programs like yoga, cycling, hiking, meditation, healing touch classes, vision teams, wellness coaching, information and referrals.

503-223-8822, manifestpdx.org MULTNOMAH COUNTY Health Department’s HIV Community Test Site offers confidential testing by appointment. Some walk-in testing. Sliding-scale fee. 503-9883775 MULTNOMAH COUNTY offers free HIV rapid testing to gay, bi, and trans guys. 503988-3030

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OHSU HIV CLINIC provides comprehensive health care for people living with HIV/ AIDS. Services include HIV specialty care, psychiatry, counseling, addiction treatment, case management, same-day visits and online chart access. Appointments are available regardless of insurance. 503-494-8562 OUR HOUSE OF PORTLAND provides Oregon and southwest Washington’s only network of integrated health and housing services for people with HIV/AIDS. Programs include Our House (24-hour residential care), Neighborhood Housing and Care, Community Services and Swan House. Volunteers needed. 503-234-0175, ourhouseofPortland.org PARTNERSHIP PROJECT provides services to people with HIV/AIDS, their families and those at risk. Program include HIV Case Management; Supporting Healthy Options for Prevention (SHOP), behavior change counseling to motivate people to protect themselves and their partners; and HIV 101, providing basis information for people recently diagnosed. Intake: 503-517-3590, ohsu.edu/partnership PORTLAND AREA HIV SERVICES PLANNING COUNCIL is a county decision-making body that identified services needed for people living with HIV/AIDS and allocates federal funds annually. Needs volunteers from all walks of life. 503-968-3030, hivportland.org POSITIVE SUPPORT ASSOCIATION supports all persons that have been affected by the HIV/AIDS epidemic here in the Pacific Northwest. The PSA maintains a comprehensive web site that people can visit to help newly diagnosed persons get help and support. The PSA is also seeking volunteers to assist in HIV/AIDS Awareness Projects, including our Peer Positive Mentorship Program. positive-support.org PROJECT QUEST INTEGRATIVE HEALTH CENTER offers conventional and alternative health care, nutrition classes, support groups and recreational sports activities for people seeking a wellness focus to living and dying, especially those living with HIV/ AIDS or cancer. 503-238-5203. pquest@qwest.net THE RESEARCH & EDUCATION GROUP provides access to HIV/AIDS research trials of new drugs and therapies. 503-229-8428

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THE RISK REDUCTION ZONE, a program of Outside In, provides a queer safe space that offers HIV, Hepatitis C and STD prevention programs; Internet resources,; peer counseling; referrals; and support groups in a nonclinical setting. 503-535-3895 SOCIAL AND SUPPORT GROUP discusses HIV issues for men at Quest Center. Meet other nice guys, share information and have fun. 503-253-2292 SWAN HOUSE is a specialized adult foster care home for low-income people with HIV/ AIDS who need assistance with personal care, mobility, medications or drug/alcohol/mental health support. 503-786-4829, ourhouseofportland.org TOD’S CORNER in Milwaukie provides clothing, household items, companion pet care, cremations and more to people with HIV/AIDS. Call to donate or for services.

503-349-4699, ourhouseofportland.org WASHINGTON COUNTY Health Department provides free needle-free HIV testing services for gay and bi men at community health clinics in Beaverton and Tigard.

503-846-4965

BRADLEY-ANGLE provides emergency shelter for domestic violence survivors of all genders. LGBTQspecific services include a weekly all-genders support group facilitated by a queer-identified advocate. Healthy Relationships classes are offered several times a year. Crisis Line: 503-281-2442 bradleyangle.org November 2012

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HEALTH/ANTI-VIOLENCE BRADLEY-ANGLE provides emergency shelter for domestic violence survivors of all genders. LGBTQ-specific services include a weekly all-genders support group facilitated by a queer-identified advocate. Individual support and advocacy is available for selfidentified LGBTQ persons experiencing physical, emotional, sexual or economic violence within an intimate relationship.

Healthy Relationships classes are offered several times a year. Free, confidential and safe. Crisis Line: 503-281-2442, Office: 503-595-9591, bradleyangle.org

OUTSIDE IN operates a clinic for anyone who can’t qualify for the Oregon Health Plan.

Provides transition housing for youth 20 and younger and for those HIV-positive and younger than 23. Need volunteers of all ages. 503-5353800. outsidein.org CENTER AGAINST RAPE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE serves survivors of domestic and sexual violence in Linn and Benton counties and offers a 24-hour hot line, confidential shelter, legal and hospital advocacy, safety planning and support groups. Crisis Lines: 541-754-0110 or 800927-0197. Business: 541-758-0219 CLACKAMAS WOMEN’S SERVICES offers shelter, support and resource referral to survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

Lesbian, bi and trans friendly. Wheelchair accessible. TTD, relay calls and collect calls accepted. Crisis: 503-654-2288.

Business: 503-722-2366

KIDS ON THE BLOCK AWARENESS PROGRAM, a service of Impact NW, is a valuable resource for children, parents and teachers with topics like Preventing School Violence, Appreciating Cultural Differences, Making Health Choices and more. Kidsontheblockimpactnw.blogspot.com PORTLAND WOMEN’S CRISIS LINE offers free and confidential services for survivors of domestic and sexual violence; operates a 24-hour crisis intervention hot line that provides referrals for shelter, counseling and support groups; provides sexual assault advocates; and offers a program for sex workers. Foreign language translation available.

503-235-5333 or 888-235-5333, pwcl.org SEXUAL ASSAULT RESOURCE CENTER promotes social justice by eliminating sexual violence through support, advocacy and education. Services include a 24-hour confidential crisis line, free counseling and support groups, community education and volunteer opportunities. Crisis: 503-6405311. Business: 503-384-0480, sarcoregon.org HEALTH/GENERAL BREATHE FREE, the Oregon LGBTQ Coalition Against Tobacco, provides education around queer tobacco use and advocates for tobacco reduction. 503-784-5813, r.e.szego@cascadiabhc.org DHARMA QUEENS, a Buddhist-based gay men’s weekly meditation group. Trans friendly. Meetup.com/Dharma-Queens MEN’S TANTRIC YOGA offers body/mind/ spirit health in a safe, structured environment for men to explore their connection to self and to others. Two classes weekly.

Elementalhealing.org OUTSIDE IN operates a clinic for anyone who can’t qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange services that include those who inject hormones. Provides transition housing for youth 20 and younger and for those HIV-positive and younger than 23. Need volunteers of all ages.

503-535-3800, outsidein.org

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PIVOT is a community space for men into men. We offer a variety of programming that is both social and education in nature, a drop-in space (that’s right, sip our coffee and use our WiFi for free, we don’t mind), and weekly STD-HIV testing. Free condoms and lube. 209 SW 4th Ave, 503-445-7699, pivotpdx.org PLANNED PARENTHOOD of the Columbia/Willamette provides confidential and affordable sexual and reproductive health care, including STD testing and treatment, 20-minute anonymous HIV tests, annual exams and condoms. Sliding-fees, insurance welcome. Health centers in SE and NE Portland, Gresham, Beaverton, Salmon Creek, Salem, Bend and Vancouver. 888-875-7820, ppcw.org

LIVE AND LET LIVE CLUB offers the sexual minorities community a safe place to find friendship, recovery and clean-and-sober activities. Meeting space available for 12-step groups.

1210 SE 7th Ave 503-238-6091

HEALTH/RECOVERY CENTER FOR FAMILY AND ADOLESCENT RESEARCH offers free counseling for parents of drug-abusing youth, 15 to 20, who refuse to go to treatment. Counseling is also available for adolescents, 13-17, who have both substance abuse and depression, as well as for adolescents 15-22 who use methamphetamine. 503-243-1065, ori.org/cfar/Portland DUAL DIAGNOSIS ANONYMOUS is a peer support program based on a version of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with an additional five steps focusing on dual diagnosis (mental illness and substance abuse).

Meets at the Live and Let live Club, 1210 SE 7th Ave, 503-222-6468 EXTENDED FAMILY hosts queer-friendly Alcoholics Anonymous meetings at Metropolitan Community Church of Portland, 2400 NE Broadway, 503-281-8868 LUNCH BUNCH hosts queer-friendly Alcoholics Anonymous meetings at Metropolitan Community Church of Portland, Noon daily, 1 p.m. Sunday, 2400 NE Broadway, 503-281-8868 LIVE AND LET LIVE CLUB offers the sexual minorities community a safe place to find friendship, recovery and clean-and-sober activities. Meeting space available for 12-step groups. 1210 SE 7th Ave, 503-238-6091 POZ FOR THE CAUSE, a 12-step recovery group for anyone infected or affected by HIV or Hepatitis C who has a desire to stop the suffering associated with alcohol and drug abuse, meets at Rosewood House.

503-916-9693 RAINBOW RECOVERY Al-ANON is a 12step group of queer and questioning people

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PORTLAND SYMPHONIC BAND always welcomes new members, from accomplished musicians to those who have not played since high school.

Portlandgaysymphonicband.org

COQSURE is a social group for people who were assigned a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to-male, genderqueer, drag king, etc.) 503-471-1515, groups.yahoo. com/group/coqsure

ROSE CITY GAY FREEDOM MARCHING BAND performs one a year during Portland Pride. rcgfb.org

50+ is a lesbian social group that meets monthly. 503-642-3360, sutaytig@aol.com

ROSE CITY SWING is a traditional 16-piece big band performing everything from classic dance standards to contemporary swing.

Membership by audition. Rosecityswing.org SATORI MEN’S CHORUS welcomes new members of all ages and races, regardless of sexual orientation or musical background, to join rehearsals. No audition necessary.

503-242-4244. satorichorus.org SOCIAL/GENERAL who support one another in recovering from the effects of another person’s drinking. 503292-1333, ext. 1, al-anonportlandoregon.org SEX ADDICTS ANONYMOUS is a 12-step program for those suffering from addictive sexual behavior. Any gender and sexual orientation is welcome. Weekly gay-and-lesbian meeting focuses on Steps 1-2-3 and spiritual solution.503-452-5961, portlandsaa.org SURVIVORS OF INCEST ANONYMOUS (SIA) meets each Wednesday at 6 p.m. at the Alano Club and welcome any sex abuse survivors age 18 and older. 909 NW 24th St. SUNDAY OVER THE RAINBOW, a 12-step Al-Anon group primarily for the sexual minorities community, helps family and friends of those addicted to alcohol or drugs on their own path to health and recovery. Channing Room @ First Unitarian Church of Portland, 5:15 p.m., 1011 SW 12th Ave. THE TRIANGLE PROJECT at Cascadia Behavioral Health Care is Oregon’s alcohol and drug addiction treatment program specifically for the queer community. Safe, respectful, confidential and effective since 1986. Services include a group for gay and bi men struggling with meth addiction.

503-230-9654, cascadiabhc.org SOCIAL/Arts & Music CONFLUENCE: The Willamette Valley Mixed GALA Chorus rehearses weekly in Salem. 503-364-2370, confluencechorus.org CREATIVE CONNECTION is a social gathering for gay men who are artists, writers or musicians or who pursue some creative activity. Noncommercial, nonjudgmental; supporting personal creativity for novices and professionals alike.

Monthly potlucks. 503-284-2971

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FOREIGN FILM GROUP meets every second and fourth Sunday to screen foreign films at various venues, followed by a group discussion. Pdx-gayfilm@yahoo.com PORTLAND GAY MEN’S CHORUS is open to singers, support members and volunteers.

503-226-2588, pdxgmc.org PORTLAND LESBIAN CHOIR, a non-audition community chorus, encourages women who love to sing in harmony, regardless of musical experience, age, race or sexual orientation, to join us for singing, skill building, socializing and fun. portlandlesbianchoir@ hotmail.com, plchoir.org

PORTLAND LESBIAN CHOIR, a non-audition community chorus, encourages women who love to sing in harmony, regardless of musical experience, age, race or sexual orientation, to join us for singing, skill building, socializing and fun. portlandlesbianchoir@ hotmail.com, plchoir. org

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ASIAN PACIFIC ISLANDER PRIDE is for LGBTQ people of Asian and Pacific Islander descent in Oregon providing safe and supportive opportunities to celebrate, educate and bring our communities together. api-pride.blogspot.com BAD GIRLS is a social and education leather and B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an emphasis on safety and education.

Workshops, discussions, events and parties.

Women of all orientation can connect and ask questions during the Kinky Women’s Welcoming Munch monthly. 503-972-2233, blackoutleather.org BLACKOUT LEATHER PRODUCTIONS is Oregon’s premier LGBTQ leather production company. We are proud to produce the Mr. & Ms. Oregon State Leather and Oregon State Bootblack contest, as well as LURE, NW Sash Bash, and other events. blackoutleather.org BOOKWOMEN is a lesbian discussion group that meets monthly to share stories, favorite authors, top 10 lists and opinions and review of the assigned book.

503-684-0305, mikkata@comcast.net BORDER RIDERS MOTORCYCLE CLUB provides opportunities to gay men interested in recreational motorcycle touring and camping.503-328-2204, brmcprez@borderriders.com BUTCH CREW PDX is a social group that welcomes everyone who identifies as a butch/boi/macha/stud/tomboy/masculine of center/soft butch/bucha or any similar identity. Meet ups are at the Q Center.

Our core values are: creating community, celebrating diversity and playing nicely with others. We don’t decide who belongs – you do. butchcrewpdx@gmail.com CHARGED+ is a free monthly club night for HIV+ men. 503-248-9135

FTM PACIFIC NW OR & WA is a discussion group for female-to-male trans men.

Groups.yahoo.com/group/FTM_PacificNW FUNNY LADIES is a social group for nice lesbians, 35 or older, as well their friends and loved ones. Hold monthly potlucks. flataps@yahoo.com GAY GUYS GARDENING is a member supported organization focused on growing, harvesting and storing food crops. 503-263-

KESHET is a social connection group for queer Jews and their spouses, partners, significant others and good friends, meeting monthly for potluck dinners and special events.

Iraf@spiritone.com, gayjewishportland. com 2696, gayguysgardening@yahoo.com GET OFF MY AXE! is a lesbian RPG gaming group in the tradition of Dungeons & Dragons, d20, etc. We play various PG-13 campaigns as suits us, sharing laughs and kicking kobolds as we go. Dust off your geek armor and join us! Lynneme2@gmail.com HAPPY OURS PRODUCTIONS is a grassroots group dedicated to building the visibility, community participation and collective leadership of lesbian women of color through a wide variety of social, networking, consciousness-raising and action-oriented activities, events and projects. 503-7649351, happyoursproductions.com HILLSBORO MUNCH is an informal monthly BDSM/kink-friendly get-together representing all orientation and gender identification. Come chat and make friends is a casual, public venue in Hillsboro.

Hillsboromunch.blogspot.com

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IMPERIAL SOVEREIGN ROSE COURT OF OREGON is the oldest gay, lesbian, bi and trans social-fund-raising organization in the state of Oregon. Meets twice a month.

Rosecourt.org

THE PORTLAND GAY MEN’S GARDEN GROUP meets once a month to explore various gardens and nurseries. Come socialize and meet other men who love plants.

503-309-4342

men who enjoy their company. Activities include potluck meals, picnics, dinners out, Bingo, celebrations of special holiday occasions. 360-254-1718. pdxprimetimers.org

IN OTHER WORDS This valued non-profit, volunteerun feminist community center has a bookstore as its centerpiece. inotherwords.org

PORTLAND LEATHER ALLIANCE is one of the largest pansexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish lifestyle organizations in the Northwest. Regular social and educational opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather Ball and Fall Vendors Fair.

Pdxleatheralliance.org

RAINBOW EASTENDERS is a group of active senior gay men who meet at Rainbow Vista in Gresham to socialize, travel and attend outings, including holiday parties, ocean cruises and dining out. Come make some new friends. 503-667-5575, ian@rainbowvista.com

PORTLAND LEATHERMEN meets monthly for potluck and socializing. Meet men into a leather lifestyle and keep abreast of leather happenings. No dues, no formal organization, no officers or board. 21 years old 360-896-6665, tuckerwalter@gmail.com PORTLAND LESBIAN BOOK CLUB gathers monthly to chat about a chosen book or to attend selected events.

Yahoo.com/group/portlandlesbianbookclub

RELATIONSHIP GARDENING is a support group for single, gay men, who desire monogamy $25/week 503-348-0405, relationshipgardening.com

JEWISH GAY MEN’S GROUP. Please call for meeting time and place. 503-246-5939, efraimlevi@aol.com KESHET is a social connection group for queer Jews and their spouses, partners, significant others and good friends, meeting monthly for potluck dinners and special events. Iraf@spiritone.com. gayjewishportland.com LAVENDER WOMYN is a lesbian social group with chapters in Portland, Salem, Eugene, Corvallis-Albany, Rogue Valley, and Grants Pass. They organize several events throughout the year including potlucks, BBQs, bowling, bunco, game night, and more. Lavenderwomyn.com.

LESBIAN HORROR MOVIE FANS meet at various Portland theaters to watch moves together. kawfeelover@yahoo.com LESBIANS WITH DEGREES is a social group that was started for degreed women, but no degree is necessary. Just come and join the fun. Pool parties, Scrabble and more.

503-233-3557, lesbianswdegrees-subscribe@ yahoogroup.com LES COUVE GROOVE, a lesbian potluck group for Southwest Washington. Meets monthly. lescouvegroove@gmail.com WINDANDSEA is a group embarking on the journey of bringing the Oregon Coast LGBT community together. Let’s get together and figure out how to enhance our coastal lives together and have fun. commonwind@yahoo.com OREGON MEN ENJOYING NATURISM is a social organization for gay male naturists/nudists. Social gathering monthly.

Omenpdx.org PDX_FTM is a social group for female-tomale trans men and allies.

Groups.yahoo.com/groupPDX_FTM PDX GAY BOARD GAMERS meets monthly to play everything from old-time gems (Life, Monopoly) to new classics (Settlers of Catan, Puerto Rico). Bring your favorite game along. Brunt1234@gmail.com PODER LATINO is a non-profit social community voice group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reaches out to Latino and Latinas by organizing events and retreats and advocating HIV prevention. Meets at Outside In. 503-997-8615

AMAZON DRAGONS PADDLING CLUB invites women 16 and older to join Portland’s only out lesbian dragon boat team. Be part of the fun and fitness with this dynamic group.

Amazondragons.org THE PORTLAND LESBIAN GARDEN CLUB enjoys all things green, from the latest perennial or vegetable finds to yard design and container planting. We focus not on meetings, but on garden and nursery tours, plant/seed exchanges, and holiday parties.

All ages and expertise are welcome.

503-909-2002, lgcpdx.org PDX LESBIAN NETWORK hosts monthly card games, pool and bowling nights, brewpub visits, hiking, kayaking, backpacking, snowshoeing, skiing, snowboarding, cross country skiing, monthly book club, etc. We also have an annual campout for members in Summer and participate in the Hood to Coast relay. Find us on Facebook.

PORTLAND METRO PRIME TIMERS meet monthly. Established in 1980 as a social group for older Gay men as well as younger

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ROSE CITY DISCUSSION CLUB, the largest and oldest open pansexual/alternative sexuality club in the Northwest, is open to all orientation, fetishes and lifestyles that are safe, sane and consensual. rcdc@teelport.com, rcdc.org SAPPHO SOCIAL CLUB is a group of women 40 years and older building community through social and cultural activities. thesapphosocialclub@yahoo.com SOMOS LGBTQ Latinos group is welcoming social and educational gathering for GLBTQ Latinos. Somos.info@gmail.com TUESDAY TWILIGHT TASTINGS meets for casual tastings of fine wines and inspired food at West Café. 503-784-4807 WOMEN’S 55+ BREAKFAST CLUB & COFFEE TALK. 503-528-4219, cbramor@gmail.com SOCIAL/PHYSICAL RECREATION THE ADVENTURE GROUP organizes a variety of activities year round, including hiking, walking, cross-country and downhill skiing, rafting and mountain biking.

Adventuregroup.org AMAZON DRAGONS PADDLING CLUB invites women 16 and older to join Portland’s only out lesbian dragon boat team. Be part of the fun and fitness with this dynamic group.

Amazondragons.org TURF GIRLZ GOLF GROUP turfgirlz.com LESBIAN EQUESTRIAN GROUP gets together for equestrian activities in the Pacific Northwest. 503-654-3865, kelrav@rdrop.com OUT DANCING teaches dancing for samesex couples at Ankeny Street Studio. Classes for different dance styles start each month: country, swing, tango, cha-cha, etc.

503-236-5129, out-dancing@yahoo.com , home.att.net/~outdancing

OUTKAYAKING is Portland’s gay and lesbian sea kayak group, exploring the lakes, rivers and bays of Northwest Oregon and SW Washington. Outkayaking.org PDX PRIDE BOWLING LEAGUE is recruiting for fun games Friday nights September through April. info@pdxpridebowl.com PDX NETRIPPERS is Portland’s queer soccer organization with competitive indoor soccer, outdoor scrimmages, practices for all levels and regional tournaments. bendoverbeckham@gmail.com, myspace.com/netrippers PORTLAND GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING ASSOCIATION Labor Day through Memorial Day. Drop-ins welcome anytime. pdxbowl@yahoo.com, pdxbowl.com PORTLAND GAY BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION welcomes all skill levels.

Groups.yahoo.com/group/PortandGayBasketballAssociation PORTLAND FRONTRUNNERS welcomes, gay, lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and interests, whether you’re a running novice or a seasoned marathoner. Portlandfrontrunners.org ROSE CITY SOFTBALL ASSOCIATION is Oregon’s largest sports organization for the GLBT community. With open and women’s divisions at all levels, RCSA plays slow-pitch softball game on most Sundays throughout the summer at Gordon Faber Recreational Complex in Hillsboro. Join a team or form a new one. Rosecitysoftball.org ROSETOWN RAMBLERS, Portland’s gay and lesbian square dance club, dances at mainstream and plus levels.

Rosetownramblers.com

ROSE CITY SOFTBALL ASSOC Oregon’s largest sports organization for the GLBT community. RCSA plays slow-pitch softball game on most Sundays throughout the summer. Join a team or form a new one.

Rosecitysoftball.org

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RUBY RED FLIPPERS, a group of gay and lesbian scuba divers in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and take dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific Northwest waters. Rubyredflippers.org

THE DADS GROUP is a social support group for gay, bi, trans or questioning men who are dads or want to be dads. Meets monthly at the Q Center. 503-310-4723, thedadsgroup.com

SHE ROCKS, a supportive rock climbing group for lesbians 18 and older, organizes year-round climbing and training events chosen according to skill level. Monthly meetings. Sherocks.wetpaint.com

FOREST GROVE PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) welcomes everyone to its monthly program and support meeting monthly. 503-232-7676, Pflag.fg@mail.com , grovenet.org/westernwashingtoncounty/pflag

TEAM PORTLAND TENNIS meets Sundays. All levels of play welcome. teamportland-tennis.org

GAY & GREY We offer social events and outings, weekly lunches, peer support groups, resources, and case management for LGBT seniors. Housing options for LGBT elders. 503-224-2640, eracoordinator@ friendlyhouseinc.org or facebook.com/ gayandgreypdx COMMUNITY/SUPPORT CLACKAMAS COUNTY PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meets monthly. Clackamaspflag.com LATE AWAKENINGS, a support group for lesbians who came out late in life, meets monthly at Q Center. 503-227-0605 CENTRAL CITY CONCERN’S WOMEN’S HOMELESS VETERANS REINTEGRATION PROGRAM provides employment and housing services to female Veterans who are homeless or in transition. Resume building, job search skills and general case management can help you in your quest for self-sufficiency. 503-226-7387 DADDIES and PAPAS, a social and support network for queer men raising children in the Portland area, offers play dates for kids, parenting tips and resources at Q Center. daddiesandpapas@gmail.com

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GAY/BISEXUAL MEN’S THERAPY GROUP This weekly therapy group is meant to create a safe space where gay, bisexual, queer men and the like from the Portland/ Vancouver area can intimately discuss issues relevant to their lives. Our goal is to help gay men build intimacy and trust in ways that facilitate interpersonal growth, depth, and connection. 503-281-4852 ext. 6 GAY & GREY is a program of Friendly House, a non-profit neighborhood center & social service agency in Portland, Oregon.

We offer social events and outing, weekly lunches, peer support groups, resources, and case management LGBT seniors. We also provide diversity trainings in the community and a housing assessment program to identify LGBT friendly housing options for LGBT elders. 503-224-2640, eracoordinator@friendlyhouseinc.org or facebook.com/ gayandgreypdx GLBTQI disability group brings together the GLBTQI community with physical disabilities of all types, and friends, for activities such as movie-going, music, eating out and exploring Portland. 503-893-5756, pdxglbtqidisabled@comcast.net MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS SELF-HELP GROUP for lesbians and gay men meets to share information and provide support in dealing with challenges of living with MS. 503-223-9511 NORTHWEST GENDER ALLIANCE is a monthly social and support group for individuals desiring to explore and express another gender. 503-533-8787, nwgapdx.com PFLAG PORTLAND BLACK CHAPTER is a place for Black gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people to come together with friend and family and support each other.

Meets monthly. 503-232-7676, pflagpdx.org PORTLAND PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) welcomes all to its monthly meetings at First United Methodist Church. 503-232-7676, pflagpdx.org TRANS-FEM strives to engage and unite anyone of the trans-feminine spectrum through community building, social events, and activism. Meets monthly at Q Center.

Flora.ivy@gmail.com

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PARENT ACCESS TO GENDER EXPRESSION SUPPORT (PAGES) group for parents and family members of gender non-conforming and transgender children and youth age 18 and younger. PAGES provides an opportunity for parents and family of trans youth to share their experiences with one another in a secure and supportive setting.

PAGES group meetings are free to participating family members and caregivers. Childcare is available if needed. Meets monthly.

503-927-7052, family@transactiveonline.org

TRANZ GUYZ is a peer support and discussion group that meets at Q Center for people assigned female at birth but identifying as trans men/guys, intersex, genderqueer, questioning, FtM, etc.

Meets monthly.

Tranzguyspdx.org TRANZ GUYZ is a peer support and discussion group that meets at Q Center for people assigned female at birth but identifying as trans men/guys, intersex, genderqueer, questioning, FtM, etc. Topics include medical and emotional health, coming out, “passing,” hormones and relationships/sexuality. Meets monthly. Tranzguyspdx.org VETERANS FOR HUMAN RIGHTS is a non-profit Veterans Organization that promotes the full recognition and equal protection of active reserve and Veteran members of the U.S. Armed Forces. VFHR advocates for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals to serve openly in the U.S. Military. VFHR opposes all forms of discrimination and promotes patriotism. Vfhr.org or Facebook “Veterans for Human Rights."

COMMUNITY/POLITICAL RADICAL WOMEN are active in the struggle against bigotry and exploitation.

Call us to get involved. Meets twice a month.

503-240-4462, rwpdx@igc.org BASIC RIGHTS OREGON (BRO), the state’s largest grassroots queer rights political organization, lobbies the Legislature, educates

the public and works to end discrimination through election activities. 503-222-6151, basicrights.org DEMOCRATIC PART OF OREGON’S GLBT CAUCUS participates in policy decisions and outreach, recruits and supports candidates and delegates, and gives sexual minorities access to elected officials and candidates. 503-224-8200, stonewalloregon.org OLD LESBIANS ORGANIZING FOR CHANGE (OLOC), provides lesbians 60 and older the chance to meet like-minded women in our common struggle to confront ageism, to share mutual interests and to experience the joy of playing and working together. Meets monthly 503-286-3575 COMMUNITY/GENERAL BABBLE-ON TOASTMASTERS, Portland’s most diverse Toastmasters club, meets every Sunday afternoon to have fun while developing communication and leadership skills.

Laughter and applause guaranteed.

503-330-2706, babble-ontm.org BISEXUAL COMMUNITY FORUM is a space to meet people and discuss issues relevant to the bi community. Everyone is welcome. Meets monthly. 503-285-4848 CATLIN GABEL SCHOOL is an independent, co-educational day school for children (and families!) from preschool , kindergarten and grades 1 through 12. 503-297-1894, catlin.edu DEAF & HEARING OUTREACH (DHOR) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to building community among deaf and hearing queers and allies. Programs, services, events and community resources.

503-517-8880 TTY/voice. dhor.org DOUBLE RAINBOW FOUNDATION is available to help all queer parents who co-conceive children to be treated equally.

We believe, regardless of gender, two adults in committed relationships who agree to co-create children should be given the same rights as heterosexual couples.

Myspace.com/doublerainbowfoundation EQUITY FOUNDATION is a nonprofit organization founded by gays and lesbians to build communities that embrace the dignity and worth of all people. Equity has distributed more than $2.8 million in grants and scholarships throughout Oregon.

503-231-5759, equityfoundation.org THE GAY AND LESBIAN ARCHIVES OF THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST (GLAPN) works to discover and publicize the history of sexual minorities in the Pacific Northwest, primarily in Oregon and Southwest Washington. We collect, seek out, document, and share information as it becomes available, while maintaining an archive of historically

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significant materials at the Oregon Historical Society. Additionally, we help individuals and groups preserve their own historical data. GLAPN will gladly work with organizations in our community to publicize and celebrate the history of all LGBTQ-identified minorities in our region. glapn.org GETTING BI PDX is a women’s group that meets for discussion, coffee and planning social events. Gettingbipdx.com

PRIDE NORTHWEST, a volunteer-run 501(c)3 nonprofit organization seeks vendors and volunteers for the Portland Pride Festival, which is held every Father’s Day weekend at Waterfront Park. 503-295-9788, pridenw.org Q CENTER is a space that increases visibility and fosters a connection within Portland’s queer community. 503-234-7837, pdxqcenter.org

KBOO-FM’s OUTLOUD: queer news and public affairs show, featuring local guests and announcements. Airs the second and fourth Tuesdays. This Way Out, the international queer show, airs on first, third and fifth Tuesdays. ( 6 p.m. 90.7 FM Portland, 91.9 FM Hood River, 100.7 FM Willamette Valley) Schedule subject to change. kboo.fm

THE SEXUAL MINORITIES ROUNDTABLE meets monthly with representatives from the Multnomah County Sherriff ’s Office and the Portland Police Bureau to discuss and resolve issues between the queer community and law enforcement agencies.

503-823-0027

NORTHWEST VETERANS FOR PEACE is queer-friendly and meets weekly.

Peaceveterans.org

YOUTH SERVICES

THE SEXUAL MINORITIES ROUNDTABLE meets monthly with representatives from the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office and the Portland Police Bureau to discuss and resolve issues between the queer community and law enforcement 503-823-0027 THE OREGON SAFE SCHOOLS AND COMMUNITY COALITION seeks to create safe schools and communities for families, educators and students statewide.

503-260-5792, oregonsafeschools.or POLYAMORY CIRCLE is a gathering for folks exploring options beyond monogamy.

Discussions include open relationships, extended families and intentional communities. Everyone is welcome. Meets monthly.

503-285-4848.

PRIDE AT WORK OREGON is a new affiliate of the AFL-CIO that lets union members rally support for gay, lesbian, bi and trans issues and lets the queer community support workplace rights and respect on the job.

503-516-2498.

IT GETS BETTER PROJECT was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better. Itgetsbetter.org SMYRC (Sexual & Gender Minority Youth Resource Center) SMYRC creates safety and support for LGBTQ youth in Oregon through youth empowerment, community building, education and direct services.

Smyrc.org PFLAG supports LGBTQ persons, their families and friends through love, understanding, education and advocacy.

Pflagpdx.org, clackamaspflag.com, facebook. com/pflag.portlandblackchapter TRANSACTIVE A group for transgender and gender non-conforming youth meets monthly. Transactiveonline.org THE TREVOR PROJECT is a national 24-hour, toll-free confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth. 866-488-7384, trevorproject.org THE PRIDE PROJECT is a program for LGBTQ youth 21 and under in Washington County. 503-260-5792, prideproject.org OUTSIDE IN helps homeless youth and other marginalized people move toward improved health and self-sufficiency.

503-535-3800, outsidein.org THE LIVING ROOM is a program of LGBTQ youth ages 14-20 in Clackamas County. Search “The Living Room, Clackamas County” on Facebook.

QUEER SCOUTS PDX Search “Queer Scouts PDX” on Facebook.

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PSU QRC Portland State University’s Queer Resource Center. 503-725-9742, qrc.pdx.edu QPOWER is a group of young, motivated leaders committed to fighting to pass the policies and elect the candidates that will bring full equality to Oregon.

Basicrights.org

GLSEN OREGON The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

503-936-5614, glsen.org/Oregon GLSEN OREGON The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. 503-936-5614, glsen.org/Oregon TRIPLE POINT is a drop-in and group program in Downtown Vancouver for queer youth in Clark County. 360-695-1325 x 4217

JUST OUT's GO PAGES

The GO Pages are intended as an information and entertainment resource for our readers. The listings are not comprehensive or complete in any way. All submissions for future inclusion will be considered.

Send to: editor@justout.com.

Some listings may be out of date, as the information has been gathered from many sources. We appreciate your help in keeping this information as accurate as possible.

Please send listing corrections to: editor@justout.com.

The GO Pages' listings do not indicate an endorsement of any business, group or organization by Just Out, the publishers of Just Out, the corporate co-sponsors of this section or any affiliates or partners of Just Out.

GO PAGES Presented by Q Center

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A&E | Culture Club

by Ken Hoyt

Have A Gay Christmas

Nobody throws a party like us LGTBQ folks! Were it not for countless gays working tirelessly behind the scenes, the Christmas festivities would be far less sparkly and half the fun.

Any self-respecting Elf will tell you that the secret to a harmonious holiday is preplanning. With that in mind, here’s our guide to celebrating the Yuletide with a twist!

George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker

Oregon Ballet Theatre December 8th – 23rd What could be more romantic than that gently-shaken-snow-globe of a ballet known as The Nutcracker? It is composer Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s holiday gift to the world. The first act features a party bursting with holiday good cheer, adorable yet deadly mice and gorgeous synchronized snowflakes.

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All of that is a set up for the second act in the Land of Sweets. Tchaikovsky provides a travelogue of music and dance with influences from Russia, China and Spain. Lovely, yes, but the sustained “ahhh” of audience enchantment comes with the appearance of Mother Ginger, a giantess with huge hoop skirts filled with adorable young dancers. This year’s Ma Ginger will be cast from the gorgeous Drag Queens of our fair city... Q Center will help in the casting process. Join in the fun at Q Center (4115 N Mississippi) November 11 at 6 pm Obt.org

November 2012

The Most Wonderful Season

Portland Gay Men’s Chorus December 14th, 15th and 16th The Portland Gay Men’s Chorus has been adding their own festive touch to every season since their inception in 1980. Their holiday concerts have become a favorite way to ring in the holidays for many.

This season Artistic Director Bob Mensel will be adding some favorites such as Dolly Parton’s "Hard Candy Christmas," Ralph Vaughan Williams’ s "Wassail" and Eric Whitacre’s exquisite "Lux Aurumque (Light and Gold)."

PDXGMC.org Photo by Bill Barry Barry Foto(c)

A Very Joan Crawford Christmas

Triangle Theatre November 29th – December 23rd The mind reels! What can it mean? A tree bedecked with wire hangers and ornaments fashioned from Pepsi bottles? Will Joan be her usual warm and whimsical self? There’s only one way to find out.

Tripro.org

The SantaLand Diaries

Portland Center Stage November 27th – December 30th It wouldn’t be Christmas at PCS without Crumpet, the disaffected elf, recounting his follies in SantaLand. The story is derived from humorist David Sedaris’s time as an elf in Macy’s flagship store. There will be a new Crumpet this year. Local favorite Darius Pierce will be donning the tunic and tights.

PCS.org

Reach out with your events to Arts & Entertainment Editor Ken Hoyt. Ken@justout.com Photo by Patrick Weishampel

Photo by Owen Carey

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of the Christmas Carol

Artists Repertory Theatre November 27th – December 23rd This show charmed audiences when it premiered last year. The story is a mashup that re-imagines The Christmas Carol with an ill-tempered Sherlock in the Scrooge role. Portland favorite Michael Mendelson returns in the title role. “Sherlock,” says Mendelson, “doesn’t get the transformation that Scrooge experiences. After his night of dreams he understands what his purpose is … and how the love that comes back to you is [the product of] how you treat others. It makes me emotional just to talk about it.”

ARTISTSREP.org

GARDEN | The Garden Gal

by Anne Jaeger

A Common Table A neighborhood garden table features a new harvest, friendship, a little mentoring — joy.

As we get older, travel farther from home, start living life on our own terms, family is what we make it. That’s why Andy Cruz and his partner Ron enjoy the principles of the Thanksgiving communal table year round.

The affable couple derives great joy sharing harvest and friendship at their garden table. They dine each Sunday on the upper tier of their garden in the Rocky Butte neighborhood. Once an unmanageable slope (better suited for mountain climbing than gardening) when Ron first moved in, the two men keenly divided the hillside. As you walk into the garden you see two levels punctuated by a waist high garden “shelf ” for planting between the upper and lower settings. They’ve succeeded in making separate and distinct garden rooms within a relatively small plot: The koi pond with night blooming water lilies is nestled next to the lower patio table area, mere steps from the cute cocktail shed. Then, on the top level — the grassy carpet dining area is cornered by the catbird seat; a rectangular enclosure where friends can sit overlooking the garden top to bottom. Sitting there, I find myself wishing more people were generous with their gardens. Evidence of this openheartedness is all around us: Smack outside the kitchen doors between their house and the neighbors’ is the shared veggie garden. Along the upper fence line you’ll find a shared wooden gate leading to the backyard neighbor’s house with a dog run and another vegetable garden. The families mingle and share like neighbors used to, like neighbors should. So, come on in. Sit a spell and share in the golden fall light at Andy and Ron’s table.

Anne Jaeger: How did the idea of shared gardens begin?

Andy Cruz: We discovered a common interest in gardening and cooking with the neighbors (a lesbian couple who’ve since moved to California. A straight couple now rents the house). The area between us was just grass, both households wanted vegetables. So we grew vegetables.

AJ: Now that you share your two veggie gardens among three households (and new neighbors), what have you learned about gardening with friends?

AC: Communication. The excitement about what you’re going to grow. Also, don’t expect much. Ron and I are pretty meticulous. We’re always in the garden. I’m constantly pinching the blooms off the basil (to keep the plant from going to seed) and weeding. But we don’t get mad when our neighbors don’t share our obsession. That’s what keeps it fun. When it comes right down to it, Ron and I get a great deal of joy out of seeing the enthusiasm grow from year to year. We don’t mind the work. And we love cooking what we grow.

AJ: Sounds like you’re mentoring some new gardeners along the way?

Photo by Horace long

Anne Jaeger, writes The Garden Gal for Just Out. Anne was a hard news reporter and anchor at KGW and KOIN before turning to gardening full time. After that her awardwinning garden shows appeared on both stations. You can now look for Anne's garden videos on the Oregonian newspaper web site: oregonlive.com/hg, catch her on Twitter @GardenGalTV, send her a suggestion via her web site: GardenGal.TV, or write Anne@JustOut.com.

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AC: Yes, that’s true. And it’s fun. I’ve learned a lot from Ron. He’s the garden master. He’s the hardscape guy who thinks things through, where I might be better with plant names and placement. It’s a nice combination.

AJ: Where did your love of gardening come from?

AC: Our fathers. Ron’s dad built a pond in his backyard; mine built one in front. In fact, most of the rocks in our backyard come from our fathers’ gardens.

AJ: When you are seated at the Sunday table and you suddenly look up to find your guests (anywhere from 4 to 12 depending on the day) talking, relaxing and enjoying themselves — tell me what thought goes through your head?

AC: Family. That’s the first thing that comes to mind. And if you’re coming to our backyard on Sunday, you’ve got an invitation to dinner. §

November 2012

Photo by Horace long

Andy’s Favorite Flower ‘Tropic Sun’ Dahlia 5” wide flowers Soft orange blooms on dark stems.

Plant grows up to 6 feet tall.

From Swan Island Dahlias: dahlias.com

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HOME | Design Matters

by Jonathan Hopp

My Crush On Nate A celebrity crush rarely leads to a chat on the phone, but this one did. A dream come true.

Photo Courtesy of Random House

Nate’s Chicago-based design firm, which he founded in 1995, continues to design interiors across the country and around the world. In addition, Nate’s line of home products continue to be sold through HSN and he debuted The Nate Berkus Collection at Target, a line of home goods and accessories sold exclusively at Target and Target.com in October 2012. Most recently, Nate has enjoyed a new role as executive producer on the Disney and DreamWorks film, The Help.

Based in Portland, Jonathan Hopp has worked as a residential interior designer for over 25 years designing homes all over the US. In 2011, he published Interior Bliss: How To Decorate Like A Pro Without Breaking The Bank. A regular personality on Portland's AM Northwest, Jonathan shares tips and trick of the trade to create a home that you will be a delight for years. jonathanhopp.com Write him at JonthanH@JustOut.com

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As an interior designer, I find Nate extremely gifted and his stylistic approach appeals to my design aesthetic. Nate’s charm is that he isn’t caught up on labels and is as happy with a flea market find for $2 as he is with an expensive rug or piece of art. You can see in his design work that everything he uses means something. Nate has mastered the art of branding himself since he first started his interior design business at age 23. He came to national prominence in 2001 at the beginning of the home make-over craze on television when Oprah saw one of his interiors and suggested a segment on her show. His trajectory ever since has been nothing short of stellar. Nate has gone on to develop a line of home linens and accessories for Linens 'n Things, his own line sold through the Home Shopping Network and a now a new line of bedding, linens, and home accessories for Target that launched October 21. More recently Nate has had his own show aptly titled The Nate Berkus Show which aired for 2 years. He was also a producer of last years Oscar- nominated The Help.

In the end, it all boiled down to my crush on my “McDreamy.” Ultimately this was a challenge to summon the courage to speak to him. How can I make this happen and speak to him? Through some connections from living in Los Angeles, I was able to email his publicist and request an interview. I felt like a

school kid asking someone out. “Will it be ok? Will he like me? Will he say yes?” His associates couldn’t have been nicer. When I contacted them I found out Nate is also writing a new book, The Things That Matter. Jeez Nate, is there nothing you don’t do? So with a little faith and perseverance I was able to speak with my man-crush on the phone.

Jonathan Hopp: Your book, Home Rules, was such an inspiration for me and many people. It was and still is a great guide on how to develop a style. The Things That Matter feels very different. Was your intent to speak to a larger issue than just design?

Nate Berkus: You know, it really was. When I wrote Home Rules the point really was meant to be sort of a design 101 to get people started to understand my perspective and what sort of ideas that I had around assembling a home. It was really meant to be a more technical “how to” and a guide for people who were starting out. What The Things That Matter is about is a new way of looking at design. It represents the journey that I’ve been on the last 6 years since I wrote Home Rules. And it was about, for me I think, the most successful interiors I’ve ever seen are the interiors that truly reflect the people that live inside them and it was a way of looking at design as a whole. All these people are trying to make spaces be beautiful, be functional and also be interesting. It was me saying to everyone, “Look, let’s everybody stop, take a beat, take a breather. Let me show you 12 interiors plus 3 of my own that represent the absolute best of what’s out there, not with regard to how expensive something is, not taking into account what we think we need to be living with. These are people who are very interesting people who I’ve picked from around the country who live in a space that reflects the stories that they want to share with the world. And so I photographed the spaces and interviewed the people and my main question was, “Why have you decided to surround yourselves with these things as opposed to other things and how did it make you feel to walk into your home every day?”

All the interiors, in the book, reflect beautifully the individualism and the personalities of the people who occupy the spaces.

Continues on page 56

November 2012

Photo by Horace Long

It all began innocently enough. A friend of mine asked “Who do you really admire that you would like to interview?” Now, I don’t know if I saw something recently that he had done, or whether my simmering crush on Nate Berkus was in the forefront of my mind, but I immediately blurted out “Nate Berkus.” Not Meryl Streep, Obama, Madonna, or any others on the “A” through “D” list celebrities or dignitaries. It was without a hesitation – Nate. “Why?” my friend asked.

“Because I had a crush on him from when he first appeared on the Oprah show in 2001.

He is absolutely dreamy. His smile is disarming, his eyes piercing yet friendly and I covet his thick curly hair.”

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Nate Berkus Continued from Page 40

JH: What’s fascinating to me is that there isn’t a specific style of interior.

In reading the book I was surprised at how personal it is.

JH: Do you think there are regional styles … design that reflects a particular area?

NB: Yeah, it is intensely personal. It’s really more than about the stuff.

Actually the working title of the book was The Stuff That Matters and then I realized that “the stuff” were really things. And things are not only what you put into your home but who you invite into your home and where you’ve been, where you’ve traveled, who you’ve loved and who you’ve lost. Things that you’ve gained and gone through and what you’ve lost grasp of leads us to where we are in our lives at any certain point. This book is really about the homes and the spaces that reflect that.

NB: I do. I find regional style fascinating. I think that every area in the world has ideas and aesthetics that are important to that region and that area. For instance, the use of blue and white tile in Portugal on interior walls is fascinating to me. What I love doing is gathering all that information and creating an interior, regardless of where it is, that sort of breaks all those rules.

JH: I’ve read your book and was actually in tears because it affected me at a very personal level. It’s amazing that a book on design would do that.

NB: What happened is that I didn’t set out to share as much of my story as I did when I started writing the book. But what I realized is that if I am going into these people’s homes and asking them to share their stories, their victories, their challenges, their evolutions as people and the evolution of their spaces as well, then I needed to step up and share what’s helped form my style. Where I’ve been and who I’ve known and what I’ve experienced in my life outside of design because it really does have an impact every day on what I live with and what I choose to surround myself with.

JH: As a designer, our job is to guide a client through the process of design. How do you help a client to determine their personal style?

NB: I studied sociology, so for me [it’s about] what motivates people, and their history, their culture, where they come from, where their families originate from. What pieces have been handed down? What objects and style of furniture resonates with them? What brings out their memories of childhood? These are all questions I ask of clients when I’m working with them. I think it’s really important to get to know someone. It can be a little awkward in the beginning, because you are stepping into someone’s space and into someone’s life, and they have hired you to create a space.

It’s not therapy, but at the same time it becomes a very free sharing of information. The end goal is the same. The end goal is when the project is done and the key is in someone’s hand and they are living gracefully in that space, that everything that they’ve shared has been interpreted and researched and presented to them in a tangible way. That leads to a very harmonious relationship with the home.

JH: One of the things that I admire about your style is that you can take something as simple as a water glass, throw some roses in it and make it look spectacular. With your increased celebrity, and larger budgets, how has that changed how you shop?

NB: You know it actually hasn’t at all. That’s the funny part. It’s really important to remember where you come from and I don’t care how much money you have in your budget, there is a thrill in getting something beautifully designed and beautifully made for not a lot of money. Even the team of designers I have working for me, my office is in Chicago, even when we have a budget, we are able to scour the world for the best examples of what it is we are looking for. But we are always pairing things with things that we found in a local market, handicrafts, and inexpensive vintage things from multi-dealer antiques malls. My home itself is such a mix of things. It’s never been about the price of something, it’s always been about the beauty of a particular thing. I can have a $14 box sitting on a $5,000 coffee table and that works for me.

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JH: You have an amazing, extensive new line for Target. Has product design always been something you were attracted to?

NB: I wasn’t attracted to it when I first started. I didn’t think I could do it. I remember when I had my very first licensing agreement with Linens and Things, I said to one of my coworkers, “Oh my god. How many tines does a fork have on it? What are the dimensions of twin sheets versus full sheets? I don’t know any of this information. I’ve never been expected to know it.” What’s interesting is that once I started, I realized it’s such a natural extension of everything that I love. I’m constantly traveling, and I’m constantly taking pictures with my phone. The inlaid flooring pattern of a sixteenth century cathedral in Naples becomes the top of a bedding design. A decorative iron window grate from Greece becomes another fabric pattern for me. Since that time, which was probably 9 years ago now, it’s almost impossible for me not to start creating different things and different products. My friends tease me that when we are on vacation I’m always taking pictures of things. “What’s that going to be? A vase at Target?” And I say, “Yeah, exactly.”

JH: One of the things you advocate is layering things in interior design. Is that what your intent is for your new line at Target?

NB: Definitely. The line wasn’t meant to be something that somebody would go in and buy in its entirety. My hope for the line is that people will layer it in with things that they already have. I’ve always been interested in the tension between old and new. That is why even though the collection has over 150 pieces, they are not a particular style. That was important for me.

JH: Right. You have something that looks like it’s inspired by Swedish design and fabrics that look Moroccan in flavor.

NB: Exactly. It’s really how I live. A lot of the products have been inspired by things that I live with. Vintage finds that are one of a kind that I thought, “You know what? It’s time to give everybody an opportunity to live with some of these things.”

JH: I’m curious, what is the first piece of furniture you would advise someone to buy?

NB: The sofa. It’s the most practical thing and one of bigger ticket items that if chosen well, is something that can last for 20 years. And if you err toward classic style in a simple fabric, it’s something that really does stand the test of time.

JH: A new line of product, and a new line. You were one of the producers of one my favorite movies from last year The Help. What’s next on the horizon?

NB: I’m working on producing my second film, which I am very excited about. I can’t give you any of the details yet, because it’s not out

November 2012

publicly. I also will be back on television. I have a couple of projects that are in different stages of development. I still believe in the power of television. I sort of grew up in the Oprah school of TV – which for me is the best. I am excited to return to television in a meaningful way.

JH: Is it similar to your old show with room makeovers?

NB: I can’t really say right now.

JH: You’ve been a role model by being openly gay. Do you support a specific cause?

NB: I would never label myself as a role model.

My sexuality is something that I’ve never hidden. That in and of itself has hopefully created some room for people to feel more comfortable. I’ve written about the coming out process. Mitchell Gold was editor for a book called Crisis that asked several people how their coming out process was and their thoughts around that. I shared very openly what mine was with my family. Right now the issue of bullying is enormous, and it’s an enormous plague and it’s important to let these kids know that things do get better. I’ve been involved in the It Gets Better campaign with Shelly Wright and some other people. But I think that as people we have to allow others around us to grieve when we come out because it’s not the life that they anticipated for us. They need a little breathing room as well. That’s not to say I support any animosity, but sometimes when we come out we have this expectation that everyone is going to jump on board and be okay with that. I believe we need to give people space and the time that they need to come to terms with it on their own.

(In The Things That Matter Nate shares his story of how he came out to his family while he was a freshmen in college. It’s an honest, heartfelt account that we all can relate to, and that exhibits a strength, wisdom and compassion for what his parents had to process.)

And then the call came to an end.

I’d like to say that I knocked it out of the park.

But on the phone I lost my ability to speak, and I probably gushed a bit too much. However, I overcame my fear and spoke to one of my design heroes that I never would have dreamed I would be able to meet. Nate was friendly, open and honest. In the end, I am happy that it was a phone interview so he couldn’t see how much I was sweating. § This is Jonathan Hopp's first article for Just Out. As an interior designer, he believes where we live, how we live and who we surround ourselves with directly correlates to our happiness. That is why he moved to Portland with his partner.

His column “Design Matters” will cover architecture, interiors, people, design and all the things that reflect where we live — in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

November 2012

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Sam Adams Continues from Page 34

we had transgender police officers in that video. We have gay cops, lesbian cops, and transgender cops all together in the Portland Police Bureau “It Gets Better” video. It was a marker of improvement.

JO: If you could be any public official, anywhere, who would it be, and why?

SA: (Laughs) I’ve never been asked that question! I would say a member of the U.S. Supreme Court; probably still one of the most powerful yet legally secretive bodies in the world, definitely in the United States. Part of their esprit de corps is to be very stone-faced. But I’d like to know what is going on. I find it intriguing. And I’d want to be there when gay marriage is before them, so I could do my best to convince the majority that marriage for all — no kidding, no fooling — is what is called for by the Constitution, regardless whether the framers wrote it out explicitly. Because we’re either all created equal here in America, or we’re not.

JO: Who’s the most impressive person you’ve ever personally met?

SA: Hmmm … I am spoiled, because I’ve met a lot of impressive people.

How do I narrow it down to one? Excluding family?

JO: Yes, public figures.

SA: I’m comparing and contrasting all the people I’ve met. And, no one has impressed me more as a public official than Vera Katz. And to make sure this is an honest answer, I am comparing her to Bill Clinton, comparing her to Barack Obama, comparing her to all the amazing, talented international leaders I’ve had the good fortune to meet. And, I would still say the most amazing public official I’ve ever met is former Portland Mayor Vera Katz, who I had the great honor to work for.

Vera Katz had to overcome, on a personal level, escaping the Holocaust in a family that had previously escaped the Russian Revolution, and then come to live as immigrants in Brooklyn. She came through all that with a passion for public service. For decades she was a volunteer, a neighborhood leader, a volunteer lobbyist for farm workers. And later, when her son was older, she ran for the State Legislature. Here is a woman who by all laws of averages shouldn’t have, couldn’t have, there’s no way she could have possibly become the first woman Speaker of the Oregon House of Representatives, or Mayor of the City of Portland. So she is an amazing person who, by the way she’s led her life and the way she’s governed as a public official, is the single the most impressive official I have ever met.

And I’ve met some of the best of the world’s best.

JO: Have you met the Dalai Lama?

SA: Yes, I have! What I liked about the Dalai Lama was that … well, he’s got a great sense of humor. I’m kind of a smartass, and ... you could never say that about the Dalai Lama ... but he’s very … mirthful (laughter) ... and you don’t expect that. When you meet folks in person after seeing them being portrayed in the media, you notice the difference right away. Public figures have a public image the media have often set up. So when you meet them, sometimes it’s the same, and sometimes it’s just very different. The Dalai Lama is very approachable, very down to earth, with this sort of “twinkle in the eyes” humor.

He was really struck by our Royal Rosarians! He absolutely loved them!

The idea that a city would have official greeters, volunteer greeters ... he’d never seen that before, and he just remarked what a wonderful statement a bout a city that would have official greeters, who are there to do nothing

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but make people feel welcome.

JO: What would you tell a young LGBTQ person who said they want to get involved in politics?

SA: Do it, absolutely!

JO: How? SA: Anything from volunteering with your local political party, or with one of the many great advocacy groups in Portland. You can go online and take free courses in public management and political science, but there’s so much in being a public servant or political activist that you can only learn by getting out there and doing it. So volunteer. Join your neighborhood association. Portland has a great neighborhood and business association network. There are all kinds of opportunities in our city based on how much time you have and what your interests are.

JO: Has anything about your perspective as a gay man particularly added to your ability to serve as mayor?

SA: Absolutely. I have an affinity for the “underdog.” At the same time, because I used to pass as straight, I got to hear what people said behind the scenes about gay people. So, I would say that it’s been very positive in being able to look at a situation and have a built-in awareness of injustice or untapped potentials for greater equality.

Social change isn’t always about injustice. Sometimes it’s that, even in the LGBTQ community, we haven’t always thought about opportunities we could take towards equity. When I was working to help co-found the Portland Q Center, I was struck that there were over 120 LGBTQ community centers around the United States, but nothing here. There was nothing unjust, per se, involved in that. Portland gets high marks for the LGBTQ community being highly integrated. We haven’t relegated ourselves to a “gay neighborhood.” But, the flipside of this is a sense, especially for vulnerable members of our community, of “where do I go?” for help, support, and a feeling of community. Seeing a need like this isn’t about injustice, but seeing an unmet need for equity, which is a perspective any LGBTQ person can relate with, and then act on.

JO: Any advice for Portland’s next mayor?

SA: Yes. I expect the next mayor to be a huge champion of marriage equality. The mayor’s office is an important bully pulpit for keeping injustices visible. Our next mayor will be a straight man, but that doesn’t matter. I still expect him to fight for and very actively promote marriage for all. I guess you could call that advice. Soon-to-be “Citizen Sam” is going to be an advocate to the next mayor to stay strong on this issue.

JO: Are you going to stay a citizen? What’s up next for you?

SA: I’ve got to make a decision on what to do next. My partner is an author so that provides some flexibility for us. Some of the offers I’ve had have been outside Portland, some inside. I’d love to stay in Portland, but I have to make a living. I’m not independently wealthy (laughs). But, I hope to stay in Portland.

JO: Anything else you want to say to Portland’s LGBTQ community?

SA: I’ve been a public servant for about 30 years now. I am very grateful for the support I’ve received from this community during my years in office, and am very proud to be a part of it. §

November 2012

LGBTQ PARENTING RESOURCES OPTIONS TO PARENTING

IVF/DONOR EGG SURROGACY In Vitro Fertilization, or IVF, is an option by which an embryo is created by combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. If the egg is successfully fertilized, it is transferred to a surrogate’s uterus. The egg can be the surrogate’s own or the egg of another woman, in which case the surrogate is called a gestational carrier.

STORY TIME WITH MARIA 2nd Saturdays, 9:30 a.m. at Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi Ave. Live reading for children age 0-5 years and their families. Librarian Maria Lowe reads stories and adapts songs and movement activities for the ages and attention spans of the children attending. pdxqcenter.org/ ongoing-events/storytime-with-maria/

DONOR SPERM Couples may receive donated sperm through fertility clinics. Donors are screened for certain diseases and genetic disorders.

LGBTQ ADOPTIVE PARENT SUPPORT GROUP 3rd Tuesdays, 6 p.m. at Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi Ave Adoption Mosaic hosts a free monthly parenting support group. This group is open to prospective and current LGBTQ adoptive parents. The group offers the support, information and tools necessary to nurture healthy LGBTQ families. Contact astrid@adoptionmosaic.org or visit adoptionmosaic.org.

ADOPTION Same-sex couples can legally adopt in Oregon, and if the couple is registered as a domestic partnership, the couple can adopt jointly. Adoption is a lifelong commitment. Most adoptive children are school-aged and have special needs related to abuse or neglect they’ve experienced.

SURROGACY

FOSTERING Children whose families cannot provide for them are sometimes placed in foster care through the Department of Human Services. Foster care situations are temporary but can become long term or lead to adoption.

People of any sexual orientation can be foster parents.

NW SURROGACY One of the leading surrogacy centers working with LGBT community members is right here in Portland. nwsurrogacycenter.com

CO-PARENTING Co-parenting is typically an arrangement between a gay man and a lesbian woman who team up to parent a child together, often while not living in the same home. The term is also used to describe the relationship between two separated or divorced parents attempting to raise a child.

OREGON REPRODUCTIVE MEDICINE A leader for LGBT parents starting or growing their families, ORM welcomes gay patients from around the world. IUI/IVF & DE/IVF. OregonReproductiveMedicine.com

PARENTING GROUPS and RESOURCES DADDIES & PAPAS 3rd Saturdays, 10 a.m. at Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi Ave Daddies and Papas is a group for gay, bisexual and transgender men raising young children. Topics range from the best way to deal with biting to what to say when schoolmates tease children about having two fathers. info@daddiesandpapas.net PLOP Parenting/Pregnant Lesbians of Portland is a group of lesbian moms and their families that gathers monthly. The group aims to provide a place where families can get support on issues unique to lesbian parents. The group is also a resource for lesbian couples who are thinking about having a child. ploppdx.wordpress.com or plop.admin@gmail.com QPoP 4th Saturdays, 10 a.m. at Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi Ave Queer Parents of Portland is for all queer parents no matter the gender or family structure. This group embraces transgender parents, polyamorous parents and single parents, among others. Children are welcome.

QPoP has a group on Facebook.

QUIP Queers United In Parenting PDX is a web-based Google group for queer parents. It’s billed as “an open forum for queers of all stripes from Hip Mamas to TransParents to Rad Dads to discuss queer parenting issues, exchange stories, resources, and encouragement, and arrange meet-ups and gatherings.” Find it on Google Groups.

REPRODUCTIVE MEDICINE

ADOPTION/FOSTERCARE OPEN ADOPTION & FAMILY SERVIES (OAFS) No other adoption agency in the country places more infants with gay and lesbian parents than OAFS. openadopt.org NORTHWEST ADOPTION EXCHANGE No better way to connect families with waiting foster children in the Northwest. nwae.org STATE OF OREGON FOSTER CARE There is always a need for quality foster parents. Thousands of children await good homes. oregon.gov/DHS/children/fostercare ADOPTION NORTHWEST Founded by the same attorney who founded OAFS, they work with gay and lesbian clients from around the country in adoption. adoptionnorthwest.com

ATTORNEYS REDDEN & FINDLING LLP This firm is skilled in adoption facilitiation and legal work and LGBT supporters. reddenfindling.com

DISCLAIMER: The information provided here is purely for education and is not intended as a recommendation for adults or children. Parents and those thinking of parenting should seek out trusted resources, including personal and professional referral sources, before proceeding.

OUR PEOPLE

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Q+A ANTOINETTE SPARKLES

HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY? I identify as an andro-femme queer woman.

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? I am a webcam model and make-up artist.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN PORTLAND/OREGON? WHAT DO YOU LOVE/ HATE ABOUT IT? I moved to Portland in 2004. I am very fond of the noble-minded attitudes. People really like to live for something in Portland. It is so beautiful and comfortable here though, that sometimes people forget there is still work to do if dreams are to be made.

WHO DO YOU LOOK UP TO OR REVERE IN THE GAY COMMUNITY OR HISTORICALLY? Frida Kahlo, Leigh Bowery, Julia Serano, and Donna Haraway, to name a few.

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED GAY BASHING? Yes. While growing up I was harassed about it all the time, though I really didn’t understand how I was “gay.” As an adult, I still experience hate from time to time. Just this last year, someone threatened to run my partner and I over with their car.

Thankfully words and threatened violence are the worst I have had to deal with for being queer.

Photo by Horace Long

WHAT’S AN IMPORTANT TOPIC THAT THE LGBT COMMUNITY SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT AND ISN’T? When you identify as LGBT it is easy to generalize based on personal experience. The diversity of our community demands that we listen a little more, actively seek some knowledge and reject this selfish sort of attitude. We all have varying degrees of privilege and suffer different types of oppression. We can all contribute greatly to one another. I suggest that we talk about how our experiences differ, and actively work to be better allies to one another, instead of assuming that we already are. This is what community is based on. §

Be a part of Q&A. Send a short note to editor@justout.com and tell us about yourself or a friend.

November 2012

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OUR PEOPLE

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Q+A EMILY PONASKI

HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY? Lesbian WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? I am full time environmental engineering student. I choose to wait tables to pay the bills.

WHAT DO YOU PORTLAND?

LOVE/HATE

ABOUT

I moved to Portland from Montana in the summer of 2009. I love the bridges, sustainable practices, trees, bicycling, and culinary options. However, as green as Portland seems, I hate the amount of waste accumulated by the food cart phenomenon and to-go coffee cup/dining culture.

WHAT’S YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OR A PASSION YOU HAVE THAT NO ONE WOULD GUESS? Most people wouldn't guess that I would rather do homework than go out dancing on a Friday night. I love numbers, fantasy, unicorns, dragons, and equations.

WHO DO YOU LOOK UP TO OR REVERE IN THE GAY COMMUNITY OR HISTORICALLY? Sally Ride, Frida Khalo, Daenerys Targaryen Stormborn the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, Joan Jett, Ani DiFranco, Rainbow Brite.

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED GAY BASHING? I haven't experienced gay bashing on a personal level, but in Montana I was exposed to it more so than in Portland.

HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED DISCRIMINATION WITHIN THE QUEER COMMUNITY?

Photo by Horace Long

I recently came out, so the discrimination I have faced hasn't necessarily been exclusive to the queer community.

WHAT'S AN IMPORTANT TOPIC THAT THE LGBT COMMUNITY SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT AND ISN'T? I think the LGBT label is a vague representation of a dynamic community, and even though we are all fighting for equality together, it only represents a portion of what kind of a person someone is. §

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Adult

Hawks Gym................................................61 Mr. Peeps/The Peephole............................61

Apparel

Jay's Wide Shoes.........................................17

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Kelly K Brown.............................................65 Legacy Preservation Law...........................17 Redden & Findling LLP............................65

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Armstrong Volkswagon............................29 Herzog-Meier.............................................11

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Another Read Through.............................65

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CAP AIDS Walk...........................................7 CAP - Pivot.................................................33 United Way of the Columbia-Willamette.........................33

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Jonathan Weedman....................................65 Susan Rosenthall........................................65

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Bling Dental................................................57 Laurelhurst Dentistry, LLC.......................19

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Lincoln City Visitors Bureau....................31 Equity Foundation.....................................67 Lady Gaga Concert....................................68 Portland Art Museum...............................13 Q Center Winter Gala...............................43 World Forestry Center...............................63

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Northwest Surrogacy Center, LLC...........19

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Howell's Home & Floral............................63

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Belvedere.....................................................15 New Seasons Market....................................2 Willamette Valley Confectionery.............63

HIV/STD Prevention

Cascade AIDS Project...............................61 Multnomah County Health Dept HIV.......................61, 65 Partnership Project @OHSU....................31

Home

Malka Diamonds & Jewelry......................13 Portland Luggage.......................................17

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Center for Dermatology and Laser Surgery............................57 Eyes on Broadway......................................11 OraQuick......................................................3

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LNFBBR Lovers not Fighters....................64 Rose City Veterinary Hospital..................57

Printing

Morel Ink.....................................................29

Real Estate

Donald Falk - Hasson................................65 H. Dwayne Davis - Realty Trust...............19 Kelly Stafford Home Sweet Home Realty...............65

Resorts

Bonneville Hot Springs Resort & Spa......17

Daniel L. Kasch..........................................65 Harper Construction.................................65 Sunlan Lighting, Inc..................................65

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Bias Insurance.............................................65

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November 2012

Calendar FIND MANY MORE LOCAL EVENTS AT JUSTOUT.COM/CALENDAR

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Indigo Girls

Grammy award-winning folk-rock duo Amy Ray and Emily Saliers join the Oregon Symphony to deliver a beautifully crafted selection of songs from their new CD Beauty Queen Sister.

7:30 pm at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall (1111 SW Broadway) $25 - $95

Camille Bloom on tour

Supporting her current album Never Out Of Time. Produced by Martin Feveyear, whose production credits include REM, Presidents of the United States, Rosie Thomas and Brandi Carlile. Camille’s music has been licensed for use in twenty-one shows on a variety of channels including MTV, E! and Oxygen. In 2010 she won the “Best Female Indie Artist” at the Ladylake Music Awards. Alberta Street Pub (10th & Alberta)

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th PFLAG Portland 30th Anniversary

The night will feature several guest speakers looking back on the history of PFLAG Portland and looking ahead to its future. 7 - 9 pm at the Fireside Room of the First United Methodist Church (1838 SW Jefferson St) Free . pflagpdx.org/ Photo courtesy of Four Way Books

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Big Brothers, Big Sisters “Start Something”

Join Big Brothers Big Sisters to learn how all children can reach their potential at one of our Start Something breakfast events. Admission is free, registration is required. To host your own table or attend as a guest contact Judi Charman: judi.charman@bbbsnorthwest.org.

7:30 – 8:30 am at the Oregon Convention Center Free (777 NE MLK Jr. Blvd) bbbsnorthwest.org

National Harm Reduction Conference

The only multidisciplinary conference focused on improving the health of drug users. Over a thousand people from around the country will meet to address the many critical issues affecting the drug user community including overdose, HIV, hepatitis, incarceration and stigma. Physicians, medical professionals, policy makers, researchers, HIV/AIDS and hepatitis service agencies, organizations providing services for youth and the homeless, as well as community-based and advocacy organizations will be well represented at this much anticipated event.

Portland Marriott Waterfront Hotel (1401 SE Naito Pkwy) cascadeaids.org

Blas Falconer will read from his new book of poetry, The Foundling Wheel

Centered on the adoption of a gay couple’s first child, The Foundling Wheel employs apt imagery to create an emotional mosaic that explores the complicated bond between father and son. Beginning in a place where the desire to have a child has not yet been realized, this book is a journey, and while the poems certainly rejoice in fatherhood, they also grapple with the fears that accompany it.

18th 5 pm The Blue Monk (3341 SE Belmont) 19th 7 pm Laughing Horse Books (12 NE 10th) Free

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