April 2012

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501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748

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THE ORIGINAL

Roane Reader

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Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!

VOLUME 19

APRIL 2012

NUMBER 6

Established 1993

7,000

Distributed

Rockwood Memories

John 11:25-26 25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: 26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

Ray Collet

Precious Memories

By Kay Christopher

Penny Pinchers

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Bible Beat

Quizzes, puzzles, facts

2 10 8&9

Seen and Heard

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Entertainment

6

Writer's Page

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Aunt Hattie

10

By our readers

Trivia, facts, movie mistakes Our readers submitted writings Hurry-up recipes

According to the Almanac When to do what

What do your dreams mean?

Define your dreams

4 13

Obituaries

7

Fun & Facts for Kids only

15

Monthly

And Adults

Can You Find Me多

5

Round Racin' Racing news & views

12

By The Phantom

Pick one up before they are all gone!

14

2 The Roane Reader

SEEN & HEARD IN

Happy Birthday

“I don’t care how many flowers you’ve planted in it, a * commode in your yard is tacky!”

“If “Extreme Makeovers” had come to Roane County * instead of Knoxville, we would have enjoyed the publicity, the increase in sales and the tax revenue, and not complained because we had to pay officers overtime.” Why do they need a gym in their new complex when the * “obese” don’t even take advantage of a free membership to a fitness club now? A young lady liberally rubbing body lotion up and down and * all over both her legs during church! “Why in the world would someone, who’s not blind, find it * necessary to take a dog into the courthouse with them, then get irate when they are asked to take it outside? "The four-laning of Ruritan Road has been deferred to 2018. * The new interchange at Rockwood and subsequent fourlaning to Midtown has taken precedence." The Princess Theatre up and running again!!! What a * wonderful sight to see. The Grand opening was fantastic and cannot wait to see how we utilize this historic place.

April 3rd

The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, Tn 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity. Subscriptions are available at $16 per year. Coowners/Publishers: Kay Christopher and Justin Stout

“Common sense is not so common.” –Voltaire

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APR. 2012

The Creek When we were small and growing up at Emory Gap—none of us kids had many toys---but then, we didn’t need any. We had the creek! It ran right through the middle of the Gap. It came from Mrs. Edward’s property, behind where CVS Pharmacy is now. It ran in front of Grandma’s house, and curved just before it got to Daddy’s Service Station, and crossed under the two-lane highway. From there it ran alongside the highway, at the bottom of Fink’s property, directly behind Red Northern’s Junkyard and in front of where Clayton Mobile Homes is. I don’t remember where it went under the railroad there, but I remember it ran alongside where McDonalds is now, then on up Child’s Memorial Road. The reason I’m describing its location is to describe how the creek ran before they made the highway into four lanes. Culverts were formed to carry the creek so that the new road could be completed. The creek was then covered with dirt and pavement, which probably explains why there are so many sink holes forming in parking lots in Emory Gap now. We spent many a day playing in that creek. Me and my cousin Eddie would get big sticks and pretend they were our boats. Sometimes we’d use small prices of paper and race them down the water. We’d run alongside the creek, across the road and run down the highway without ever letting our “sailboats” out of our sight. The creek never went dry and there was always water flowing. Sometimes it would be so high and swift, it would have swept us to the Tennessee River if we had fallen in it, and nobody would have known what happened to us. No, we didn’t need many toys, just a stick, a piece of paper, water and a giant imagination.

Yes, I said that…

A school teacher’s list of “things I never thought I’d say, but now find perfectly necessary to say to ten-year-olds.” •“Take your feet out from inside your desk.” •“Calling someone fat will hurt their feelings.” •“No, AIDS is not when you have an unidentifiable rash.” •“There are no weapons allowed in this classroom…real or imagined.” •“Pens WILL explode in your mouth if you chew on them.” •“If you don’t turn in your homework, you’re not going to get a grade.” •“You are a boy, not a dog. So, please get off the floor and get to work.” •“Headlocks are not allowed in this classroom.” •“Your eyes need to be open when you’re walking outside.” •“Please take your teeth out of your neighbor’s chair and get to work.” •“Put me down!” •“Left hand has the squishy. Right hand does the work.” •“Take your head out of your backpack. I’m sure your haircut looks great.” •“Please stop climbing the school building.” •“The back of your head looks great, but I prefer to see your lovely face when I’m talking to you.” •“Nope, you may not wear a Spiderman mask during school.” •“That’s what happens when you flip upside-down repeatedly: you make yourself throw up.” •“If you tell a little first grader that her brother died, she will believe you and be very upset…even if you were only joking.”

APR. 2012

3 The Roane Reader

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.' Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.' St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?' Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.' Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..' The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter. 'How many seconds in a year? “Now that one is harder,” replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.' Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?' Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... ' 'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name'? 'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.' 'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. 'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?' 'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'

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4 The Roane Reader

according to the almanac

best days to plant

1st-4th Grub Out Weeds, Briars, And Plant Pests. 5th-7th First Day Good For Planting Corn, Melons, Squash, Tomatoes, And Other Aboveground Crops. Last Days Favorable For Planting Root Crops. All Days Favorable For Sowing Grains, Hay And Fodder Crops, And Planting Flowers. 8th-9th Good Days For Planting Beets, Carrots, Radishes, Turnips, Peanuts, And Root Crops. Also Good For Cabbage, Cauliflower, Lettuce, Kale, Celery, And Other Leafy Vegetables. Start Seedbeds. Good Days For Transplanting. 10th-12th Barren Period. Do No Plant. 13th-14th Favorable For Planting Beets, Carrots, Turnips, Radishes, Onions, And Root Crops. 15th-17th Excellent Time To Kill Weeds, Briars, Poison Ivy, And Plant Pests. 18th-19th Favorable Days For Planting Root Crops, Extra Good For Vine Crops. Set Strawberry Plants. Good Days For Transplanting. 20th-21st Poor Planting Day. Break Ground Or Cultivate. 22nd-23rd Favorable Days For Planting Beans, Corn, Cotton, Tomatoes, Peppers, And Aboveground Crops. 24th-25th Poor Days For Planting, Seeds Will Rot In The Ground. 26th-27th Tomatoes, Beans, Peppers, Corn, and Other Aboveground Crops. Plant Seedbeds. Start Flower Gardens. 28th-30th Grub Out Weeds, Briars, And Other Plant Pests.

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APR. 2012

April 2012

1st-3rd. Thunderstorms, then fair. 4th-7th. Tranquil. 8th-11th. Showery, then fair. 12th-15th. Rainy, windy, thundery. 16th-19th. Mostly fair. 20th-23rd. Rain, then fair skies. 24th-27th. Pleasant. 28th-30th. Thunderstorms for Southeast.

Best days to...

Apr. Begin diet to lose weight--------------------------7,16 Breed animals-----------------------------------------7,8 Castrate animals-----------------------------------14,15 Cut hair to discourage growth--------------------16,17 Cut hair to encourage growth------------------5,21,22 Begin logging -------------------------------------12,13 Have dental care--------------------------------------3,4 Plant above ground crops------------------------3,4,22 Plant below ground crops------------------------12,13 Prune to discourage growth------------------------9,10 Prune to encourage growth------------------1,2,29,30 Quit smoking----------------------------------------7,16 Slaughter livestock-----------------------------------7,8 Wean animals or children--------------------------7,16

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211 NORTH ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN 37748

Antiques

Memorabilia Art & Collectabiles 507 North Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748

APR. 2012

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find MeÂż) This Months Picture

OK Guys Listen Up!!! "The Phantom" (an anonymous reader) will be supplying a new picture or saying about a Roane County landmark each month... It is up to you to find the landmark and be the first to respond to The Roane Reader at: www.roanereader.com/submit or email: info@roanereader.com , call 865-882-9340 The winner will get a free 1 year subscription to The Roane Reader. Its a great way to observe the history of those wonderful Roane County Landmarks and receive a years subscription to Roane County’s Best Locally Owned Publication for yourself or a loved one. We will announce the winner of the competition in the following month’s issue. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!! Entrees that fail to provide all this information will not qualify!

Winner of March's "The Phantom"was:

Nobody ever correctly guessed the picture with enough detail to win. The correct answer was the metal Kiwanis plate on the left hand side coming from South Harriman down Pansy Hill. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!! Because we are feeling generous were going to let this one go to the person that answered the question the quickest with the most detail.

Jeff Voyles

The Answer He Guessed: That's one of the Kiwanis metal plates from the two stone pillars at the bottom of Pansy Hill.

Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. 420 Ruritan Rd, Harriman TN 37748 Ph: 865-882-1900 ‡ )D[ Email: traughber@bellsouth.net

Paul Traughber Agent/Owner

Over 25 Years Experience Personal & Commercial Auto â—† Homeowners â—† Boat â—† Motorcycle RV/Motor Home â—† Flood â—† Life â—† Health & Dental â—† Contractor Annuities â—† Workers Compensation â—† Bonds

Paraprosdokians‌ !

5 The Roane Reader

PARA-PROS-DOKIANS: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.

'Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, But you know they are always there.

6 The Roane Reader

Stuff you didn't know you didn't know!

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. Coca-Cola was originally green. Happy It is impossible to lick your elbow. ??? The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work? Alaska The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) Birthday The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400 Norma The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000 Nelson Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.. The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer. April The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: 17th Spades - King David Hearts – Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A Their birthplace Happy Birthday Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession Q... If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go April 16th until you would find the letter 'A'? A. One thousand Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? A. All were invented by women.

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By: Kay Christopher

The Titanic sank almost 100 years ago. Here’s some mistakes in the Titanic movie. Did you notice them? During the sinking scene when the ship breaks up, a couple of men are dragged into the break up point (were it snaps in two) and you can see the cables they use to be pulled or to slide in. When the ship is sinking, there is a shot of Victor Garber leaning against the wall in deep contemplation. The camera angle is very tilted and a few things slide off the shelf in front of him. Look carefully on the DVD and you'll see a wire coming out under his arm behind him pulling the china cup off the shelf. In the early scene where Jack wins the tickets for the voyage, his hand-rolled cigarette is thin and almost done just before he shows his hand. About five seconds later, the cigarette is fatter and longer. When Jack and Rose are talking on the deck. Rose is explaining to Jack why she considered jumping. Pay attention to Rose's hair. One second, her hair in perfectly curled with bangs, then it is behind her ears. It alternates back and forth: bangs, no bangs, bangs, no bangs until she grabs his portfolio and they sit to look at his drawings. When Jack and Rose are running away from Cal to the first class dining room, if you look at the glass you can see a black screen, a light, and a crewman. During one side shot of the ship sinking at night, the bow has clearly begun to slide under. There are several lines hanging off the side of the boat. The lines are perpendicular to the boat, not the water, indicating that the model was filmed when level and tilted digitally. When Rose punches the crewman who is dragging her down the hall, you can see the blood (from the blood pack) on his hand before it reaches his face. (Can be seen better in slow motion) As the Titanic is sinking and begins to pitch forward, you can see passengers sliding forward across the deck. In one short scene, you can see a few people hit what's supposed to be a large metal reel. When they hit it, it crinkles, revealing that it's made of foam. When Jack gives Rose the note after dinner, it's yellow, but when she reads it, it's white. During Jack and Rose's trip on the deck to the bow right before the sinking, she is wearing flat shoes. In the water, lying on the furniture (as Jack hangs on) she is wearing high heels. When Rose is trying to rescue Jack she spies a fire axe. Smashing all the glass out from the holder she grabs the axe and turns round. The next camera shot shows Rose standing in front of the case with almost all of its glass intact.

ĹĹ 2744 ROANE STATE HWY ĻĻ

Did You Know?

Midtown

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'.

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APR. 2012

Owner Edna Farmer

APR. 2012

obituaries

Feb. 13th Danny Ray Kanode, 58, Harriman Feb. 20th Evelyn F. Smith, 88, Pine Orchard Feb. 24th Maria Villalobos, 83, Oliver Spgs. "Jordy" Phillips, 27, Oliver Springs Feb. 25th Dillard Frank Russell, 73, Harriman Imogene Delozier Short, Harriman Alberta Louise Rickard, 84, Rockwood Leo “Iodine” Stinnett, 83, Rockwood Feb 27th Ray Peters, 71, Harriman Daisy Chitwood, 80, Midtown Feb. 28th Walker Bridges, 93, Harriman Marie Colandro, 90, Rockwood Feb. 29th Mary McCrary Woody, 79, Kingston Skylar Al-Hussein, 7, Oliver Spngs. Mar. 1st Ada Grace Tutterrow, 99, Kingston Mar. 2nd Anna Virginia Tate, 84, Kingston Danny L. Wombles, 59, Harriman Dennis Ray Cantrell, 53, Harriman Mar. 3rd Danny S. Kelly, 55, Harriman Mar. 4th William G. Coffey, Jr., 80, Harriman Mar. 5th Bobbie Jean Alcorn, 80, Oliver Spgs. Mar. 6th Patsy Hamby Lay, 76, Harriman Mar. 7th David A. Bertoli, 73, Oliver Springs Mar. 8th Clarence A. Devaney, 88, Rockwood Mar. 9th Bernice K. Remley, 87, Kingston Tommy Fox, 60, Rockwood, Mar. 11th Glen Franklin Hester, Jr., 47, Harr. Fred White, Jr., 90, Oliver Springs, Mar. 12th Christine Cromwell, 78, Harriman "Benny" Walls, 88, Oliver Springs Anna Marie Reeder, 82, Oliver Spgs. Mar. 13th Augusta Faye Johnson, 91, Harriman Mar. 14th Clyde Houston, 77, Ten Mile Mar. 15th Gladys S. Collins, 98, Harriman Isa Bea Hall Yates, 88, Kingston Elizabeth Gough, 95, Oliver Spgs J.D. Arthur, 81, Kingston Mar. 16th Juanita Elmore, 78, Harriman Chester H. Edwards, 81, Harriman Rolland F. McGhee, 72, Rockwood

31st Installation Sq - (TAC) 4138th Installation Sq - (SAC) Turner AFB Albany, Georgia 1 September 1957 - 7 June 1960 Chapter II PETE SEMANICK Maintenance personnel were constantly using the carbon dioxide extinguishers to cool their beer. It was well known that once discharged into an open container the gas turned into an ice cold configuration. Great for cooling beer but not very effective on a fire once discharged. Early in my assignment, an F-86 aircraft was making an emergency landing and crashed into a parking lot adjacent to our old wooden hospital. Several cars and a portion of the hospital were involved in the resulting fire. Unfortunately, the pilot and several people walking in the parking lot were killed. Needless to say, all available firefighters were recalled to the structural and crash stations to assist on-duty personnel. Fortunately our fire department was adequately equipped with crash and structural vehicles as well as manpower. Turner AFB was one of the few bases which had authorized crash rescue boats in their inventory. The base was positioned adjacent to the Flint River and featured a bayou and numerous slough areas. Takeoffs and landings directed the aircraft over these water areas. The boats never responded to crashes but the boat crews were often called out for search and rescue missions on drowning incidents , especially during the rainy seasons. It seemed I was always getting into some form of comical situation during my military career and Turner was no exception. One Sunday my family and I were returning to the base from a visit in the city of Albany. Somehow, I unknowingly converged into the convoy of vehicles escorting President Dwight Eisenhower out to the base. His entourage was quite lengthy and when the traffic light changed at an intersection, I took advantage of a break between vehicles, not realizing that I was then at the tail end of the presidential convoy of the President of the United States. I was driving a large Chevrolet station wagon and wearing a white cowboy hat. All along the streets crowds of bystanders were waving to the President and as I passed I took off my hat and waved to the people. Before I knew it we were entering the main gate at the base and it was then I realized I was in trouble. At the first cross street on the base I broke out of line and headed to my house. For some unknown reason and fortunately for me, his security personnel didn’t detect my unauthorized presence in the convoy. My tour at Turner soon came to an end . My family and I thoroughly enjoyed this assignment but looked forward to a new challenge.

Give me the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to accept the things I can’t, and the brains to call a plumber if I’m not exactly sure.

HESTER’S BODY SHOP

LOCATED IN KINGSTON, TN .

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7 The Roane Reader

god said no!! I asked God to take away my habit. God said, No. It is not for me to take away, But for you to give it up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No.. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is learned. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you. I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares And brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own, But I will prune you to make you fruitful. I asked God for all things That I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life, So that you may enjoy all things. I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me. God said... Ahhhh, Finally you have the idea.

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APRIL 14TH THRU AUG. 11TH

Selling in the church for financial support for the church?

Selling in the church for financial support for the church? The only mention in the New Testament of any means for churches to get money is through free-will contributions by members. “Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye. Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come. And when I come, whomsoever ye shall approve by your letters, them will I send to bring your liberality unto Jerusalem. And if it be meet that I go also, they shall go with me.” (1 Corinthians 16:1-4) “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7) Although both of these, as well as some other passages about individuals giving directly to those in need, are about contributions for specific needs, they do set a pattern for giving in the church. The passage in 1 Corinthians 16 specifically mentions a treasury. Since there are specific scriptures about giving, but none about selling anything or other methods of raising funds, the more conservative interpreters would say that those other things are excluded. Those of a more liberal mind would argue that free-will contributions are one method of raising money, but that there is nothing in the scripture that would specifically forbid, garage sales, selling t-shirts or chorus albums. Nor would it prevent a congregation who took the latter interpretation from owning grocery stores, department or specialty stores, or any other type of business short of prostitution. I even read about a church that operates a theme park in Florida as a means of supporting its outreach programs. Of course, in the United States, when a church gets into the business of selling something they must fight with the government about whether doing so will take away their tax exemption. Operating a business could result in the church having to pay taxes on all their income, including free-will contributions.

1403 Ruritan Road H a r r i m a n , TN

Bank & Credit Union Financing Available

See Larry Ward or Dustin Ivey

(865) 882-6462

APR. 2012

Earth's saddest day and gladdest day were just three days apart! Happy Birthday

Peggy Edwards April 3rd

Bible Quest The Bible---

What is the… 1. Shortest book? 2. Longest book? 3. Shortest chapter? 4. Longest chapter? 5. Shortest verse? 6. Longest verse? 7. Middle verse? 8. Longest word? 9. Verse containing all letters except J? 10. Verse containing all letters except Q? 11. The word "God" appears in every book of the Bible except?

Answers to Bible Quest 2 John (13 verses) Psalms (150 chapters) Psalm 117 Psalm 119 John 11:35 Esther 8:9 Psalm 97:8 Maher-shalal-hash-baz (Isaiah 8:1) Ezra 7:21 Daniel 4:37 Esther and Song of Solomon

what does the bible say about...

Bible Beat

What does it mean as a Christians that scientists won a Nobel Prize for their work on the Big Bang Theory? I think Christians should be happy when scientists find out about the universe and mankind. I believe the Bible is true, so it has nothing to fear from science. Since God created the universe and all that is in it, study of science should ultimately bring some people to belief in God. “Nevertheless he left not himself without witness, in that he did good, and gave us rain from heaven, and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness.” (Act 14:17) “Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them [ungodly men]; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because than, when they knew God, they glorified him not as odd, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” Romans 1:19-21 If God created everything then every study of science will just reveal God even more clearly to those who know him. Those who choose to blind themselves to God will refuse to see him, although his creative power is obvious in what they discover. Science is constantly changing. The Bible has endured the test of time!!

The Easter Egg

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.

8 The Roane Reader

Many traditions and practices have formed around Easter eggs. In Europe an egg was hung on New Year trees, on Maypoles, and on St. John's trees in midsummer. Indeed, all were of one accord in using the egg as a symbol of the regenerative forces of nature. Later during the Christian period, it was believed that eggs laid on Good Friday, if kept for a hundred years, would have their yolks turn to diamond. If Good Friday eggs were cooked on Easter they would promote the fertility of the trees and crops and protect against sudden deaths. And, if you would find two yolks in an Easter egg, be sure, you're going to be rich soon. That's what they believed!

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RealMan

Conference

REAL MEN LOVE JESUS

April 19th 7-9pm April 20th 7-9pm April 21st 10am - ??? (Real Man Cookout)

Jim Henry & Assoc. 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston Kingston, TN 37763

Big Emory Baptist Church www.bigemorychurch.com

Bible Beat

APR. 2012

9 The Roane Reader

To play this online go to: http://www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/A18HeIsArisen.html

What does the Bible say about... Becoming a member of a church?

A18 He Is Arisen, Matthew 28:1-10, Easter Sunday

The Bible says nothing about joining a church. It does talk about God adding people to the church. "And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.� (Acts 2:47) Just being immersed for forgiveness of sins caused one to be added to the church. Of course, that is talking about the church as a whole. The Bible says nothing about joining a congregation of the church. Maybe that is because at the time there was apparently only one congregation in each city. Since that time men have added denominations, each of which has its own man-made rules. We have also added more than one congregation in some cities. This means that we can pick and choose which congregation we want to assemble with, and which elders we want to guide us. The only guidelines for making that decision would be our own personalities and desires. The problem is that some people choose never to identify with a given congregation. When one chooses not to identify with a particular congregation it is like living in a country without ever gaining citizenship. You take advantage of some of the benefits, but also miss out on some. You try to have the rights without the responsibility. My personal feeling is that a person who regularly attends a congregation should be considered a member. The elders have a responsibility and right to shepherd that person, and correct him if he is wrong. The deacons have a right to expect that person to help with the work of the church.

When Mary Magdalene went to the tomb, Jesus was not there. He had arisen from the dead. Each time God forgives your sins, he cleans your soul. He brings your soul back to life. God sends Jesus to sweep away all the sins from your soul. Then you will be fit to be with your him in heaven forever. Across 1. really big 3. savior of mankind 5. opposite of front 6. rock 7. garment to cover body 10. looks 13. leave 14. full of fear 15. mother of Jesus 16. answer 17. honor 19. arrive 21. nailed on a cross 24. look 26. lifted 28. said 29. very happy 30. recognize Down 1. protectors 2. relate 3. exactly 4. on top of 5. opposite of sisters

Happy Birthday Justin Stout

April 26th

8. not there 9. Mary, friend of Jesus 10. neared 11. hugged

12. shaking of the earth 18. day of worship 20. not women 22. walking body parts

23. not alive 25. head person 27. layer of snowflakes

Big Emory Baptist Church presents

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10 The Roane Reader

APR. 2012

Household Hints  Washing Windows? Dip a lintless cloth in wood alcohol, go over the glass and follow with a piece of old silk cloth. This is fine for cold weather.  To unclog a drain, mix 1 c. baking soda, 1 c. salt and 1 c. white vinegar. (It will fizz) Let it sit for 15 minutes then pour down clogged drain. Pour in several cups of boiling water.  Scuff marks on your vinyl luggage? Try rubbing lemon extract over the area.  Dingy or rusty gilt picture frames may be cleaned by simply washing them with a small sponge moistened with oil of turpentine or spirits of wine! Take care that the sponge does not become saturated. The sponge should be damp, not soaking. Gently wipe off the dirt and rust. DO NOT WIPE DRY...Let the frames dry themselves. Another method to clean gilt frames: Carefully dust the frame. Make a mixture of 1 ounce of baking soda and 3 egg whites. Beat well. Wash the frames with this mix. Touch up scrapes with gold paint.  Do you have discolored wooden bread boards or rolling pins? Try rubbing with 1/2 a lemon and then rinse with clear water.  Do you have a white film on the inside of your vases? Fill the vase with vinegar and let set for a couple of hours.  If you have bottles of perfume or cologne which you do not care for, don't throw them out. Try putting some in your bath water. The ratio of water to perfume will make for a nice smelling bath!  Lemon Juice will remove adhesive tape and gum from hands and clothes!

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 Need a good toilet bowl cleaner? Inexpensive, too? Get a bucket and add 2 quarts of water, 1 cup hydrogen peroxide and 1 tablespoon household ammonia. Mix well. Pour this entire mixture into the toilet and put the toilet lid down. Let the solution set for 30 minutes. Open the lid, scrub with brush and flush! Easy and makes your toilet bowl sparkle!  Did you know that cold tea will clean woodwork? Give it a try!  Grease stains on your carpet? Don’t buy some expensive cleaner---Shake some cornstarch over the grease stain and let set there overnight or at least 8 hours. Vacuum.  For icy doorsteps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is)!  Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.  To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Lunch

Call in Orders

1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, TN (865) 376.3060

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes

Penny Pinchers

LOGS TO LUMBER AT YOUR SITE! Using a Wood Miser Portable Sawmill Columbus Dr. Lenoir City 865-986-4264

HATTIE SHILLINGS

Easter meat pie 4 (9 inch) unbaked pie crusts 6 eggs 1 pound cooked ham, chopped 1/4 pound prosciutto, chopped

2 pounds ricotta cheese 8 ounces mozzarella cheese, 1/2 pound Genoa salami, chopped 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place ricotta in a large mixing bowl and add eggs one at a time while mixing on low speed. Stir in mozzarella, ham, salami, and prosciutto until all ingredients are well combined. Line two 9 inch pans with pastry. Spoon half of mixture into each pan. Sprinkle half of the Parmesan cheese over each pie, then cover with top pastry. Crimp edges and cut steam vents in tops. Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour, until crust is golden brown. Cool on racks.

Easter Bread

2 Cups sugar ½ Cup margarine 3 Packages dry yeast ½ Tsp. salt 1 Tsp. anise seed or liquid

½ Cup vegetable oil 2 Cups evaporated milk 1½ Dozen eggs 5 lbs. flour 1 tsp. vanilla

Put milk in blow. Place in microwave (2 min.) until it bubbles around the edge. Add butter and oil to milk and let melt. Add sugar. Make yeast following directions on package. Put eggs in bowl and beat until light and fluffy. Add sugar, oil mixture and eggs together. Add yeast. Start adding flour a little at a time. Knead until it’s not sticky. Cover and let rise until it doubles (warm place). After rises take 3 handfuls of dough and roll them out into three strings. Braid together. Put on greased cookie sheets. Let the loaves rise again for 30 minutes. Bale at 3500 for 20 minutes. Bottom of loaves should be brown.

Chocolate Peanut butter Easter eggs

1 cup creamy peanut butter 1 (16 oz.) package powdered sugar 1 tablespoon milk 1/4 cup butter 8 (1 oz.) squares semi-sweet chocolate 1 tablespoon shortening In a mixing bowl, combine confectioners' sugar, peanut butter, butter and milk (if needed for moisture) until blended. Shape mixture into two 1/2 pound eggs or make a bunch of smaller eggs. Freeze eggs for 1 hour. While the eggs are freezing, cut semi-sweet chocolate into small pieces and place in top of double boiler with shortening. Melt over medium heat, stirring frequently until smooth. Stick a long-tined fork in top of each peanut butter egg, dip it in melted chocolate to cover then drain on waxed paper. When the eggs are cooled and set, decorate the eggs to suit your fancy.

Birth certificates A birth certificate shows you were born. A death certificate shows you have died. A photo album shows you have lived.

APR. 2012

"Life Lessons Learned"

In The Office

• People who insist on putting their calls on speakerphone. • Loud or irritating mobile phone ringtones. • Tapping on desk. • Too much perfume. (clipping/polishing, • Grooming filing nails, tweezing, etc.) • Clothing that’s too revealing for the workplace. • People throwing things in your garbage. • Messy desk. • People borrowing and not returning items from your desk. • Constant complainers. • Showing up late for meetings. • Using phone or laptop during meetings. • Hitting “reply all” on mass employee emails. • Being CC’d on a long email string that doesn’t pertain to you. • People that don’t respond to emails. • People who send too many unimportant e-mails.

By: Rita Webster 1. If you’re not amazed, you’re not paying attention. 2. Never be afraid to ask why. 3. For better or worse, seize the moment. 4. You don’t have to have money to have a good time. 5. You can be wherever you want, whenever you wantjust close your eyes. 6. Strange is beautiful. 7. Relationships are simple. Check yes or no. 8. Sometimes all you need is a time-out. 9. Modesty is overrated. 10. Anger isn’t worth holding onto, but friendships are. 11. Taking life too serious takes the living out of life.

Happy Late Birthday

C.J. Moore March 16th

Light Turned Yellow

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.?? She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chromeplated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car." Priceless

ATTENTION:

To all South Harriman Alumni and Friends, make your plans now to meet at the Riverfront Park for our next gathering. Saturday May 26,2012, at 4:00pm until 6:30pm.

Healthy Hint

It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to receive the signal that you’re full. Slow your meals down. Put your fork down between bites, chew slowly, and savor each bite, and enjoy it’s texture and flavor.

11 The Roane Reader

Happy Birthday

Jennifer Christopher

April 11th

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12 The Roane Reader

APR. 2012

Wartburg Speedway to be home of Southern Mod Lite series

2012 SCHEDULE RACE SCHEDULE No. Date 4 March 18 5 March 25 6 April 1 7 April 14 8 April 22 9 April 28 10 May 6 11 May 12 May 19 May 19 12 May 27 13 June 3 14 June 10 15 June 17

Sandra L. Stout

Race Bristol Fontana Martinsville Texas Kansas Richmond Talladega Darlington Sprint Showdown Sprint All-Star Race Charlotte Dover Pocono Michigan

Smoky Mountain Speedway practice By: John Griffin

S

O Half r Rate o Lab a $25 ts Tha lue Va

What happens if a NASCAR fan gets in a car accident? They remove their helmet, remove the steering wheel, climb out their car's window, and blame Robby Gordon.

Racetrack Websites

For the 2012 season, Wartburg Speedway will be the home to the Southern Mod Lite Racing Series. On three weeks of each month, the SMLRS will be part of the Wartburg Speedway racing rotation. Mod lites are smaller scale racing machines that look similar to the open wheel modifieds, but are about half the size and are powered by motorcycle engines. It is the most unique form of dirt track racing in the area. Wartburg Speedway is proud to have the SMLRS for 2012. To learn more about the series, visit their web site by visiting www.smlrs.com

2012 Wartburg Speedway Schedule (Schedule is tentative and subject to change)

Saturday, March 31 Saturday, April 7 Saturday, April 14 Saturday, April 21 Saturday, April 28

Test-n-tune Weekly Racing Program (Hot laps at 6:00) Weekly Racing Program Weekly Racing Program Weekly Racing Program

Smoky Mountain Speedway

Crossville Raceway 2012 Schedule

WARTBURG SPEEDWAY

March 31 April 7

Schedule is tentative and subject to change

WWW.SMOKYMOUNTAINSPEEDWAY.COM

Smoky Mountain Speedway has announced that they will try to practice on March 24th. Practice begins at 11:00 a.m. This is the make-up date, as we had rain on March 3rd, and had to cancel. Also, March 31st will be the opening night for 411 Motor Speedway. I hope everyone picks a track to support this year as we are in for some great racing at all the East Tennessee tracks.

CIAL PE ff The

Time (ET) 12:30 p.m. 2:30 p.m. 12:30 p.m. 7 p.m. 12:30 p.m. 7 p.m. 12 p.m. 6:30 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 5:30 p.m. 12:30 p.m. 12 p.m. 12 p.m.

WWW.WARTBURGSPEEDWAY.NET

CROSSVILLE RACEWAY WWW.CROSSVILLERACEWAY.NET

SPRING CITY RACEWAY WWW.SPRINGCITYRACEWAY.COM

April 14 April 21 April 28

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411 Motor Speedway 2012 Schedule (Schedule is tentative and subject to change)

March 31st, 2012 April 7th, 2012 April 14th, 2012 April 14th, 2012 April 21st, 2012 April 28th, 2012

1205 S. ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, T N

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APR. 2012

What do your dreams mean?

Running To dream that you are running away from someone indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears. To dream that you are trying to run but cannot make your feet move as fast as you want them to signifies lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It may also reflect your actual state of REM paralysis during the dream state. Money To see or win money in your dream indicates that success and prosperity is within your reach. Money represents confidence, self-worth, success, or values. You have much belief in yourself. Alternatively, dreaming about money refers to your attitudes about love and matters of the heart. It is a common symbol for sexuality and power. In particular, finding money indicates your quest for love or for power. Hiding To dream that you are hiding suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some information. You may not be facing up to a situation or dealing with some issue. However, you may be getting ready to reveal something and confess before somebody finds out. In particular, to dream that you are hiding from some authority figure (police, parent, teacher...), implies feelings of guilt. To dream that someone is hiding indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection. Disaster To dream that you are in a disaster represents your personal anxieties and fears of change. You are afraid of not knowing what is in store for you in the future. Invasion To dream of an invasion represents your need to be more assertive. Stand up for yourself and let your voice be known. Don't let others tell you what to do. Monster To dream that you are chased or followed by a monster represents aspects of yourself that you find repulsive and ugly. You may possess some fears or some repressed emotions. Try to confront the monster in your dream and figure out who or what aspect of yourself the monster represents.

Very Special Belated BIRTHDAY

Margret Reichard 95 years old

March 28th

Titanic Timelines

13 The Roane Reader

We all find information about the infamous Titanic intriguing. Here’s the timelime of events related to the deadly journey. April 11, 1912 At 1:30 p.m., the Titanic leaves Queenstown and heads across the Atlantic for New York. April 12-13, 1912 The Titanic continues on her journey as passengers enjoy life on the luxurious ship. April 14, 1912 (9:20 p.m.) Captain Smith retires to his room. April 14, 1912 (9:40 p.m.) The last of several warnings about icebergs is received in the wireless room. This warning never makes it to the bridge. April 14, 1912 (11:40 p.m.) The lookouts spot an iceberg directly in the path of the Titanic. First Officer Murdoch orders a hard starboard (left) turn, but the Titanic's right side still scrapes the iceberg. Only 37 seconds passed between the sighting of the iceberg and hitting it. April 15, 1912 (12:05 a.m.) Captain Smith orders the crew to prepare the lifeboats and get the passengers and crew up on deck. April 15, 1912 (12:45 a.m.) The first lifeboat is lowered into the freezing water. April 15, 1912 (2:18 a.m.) The Titanic snaps in half. April 15, 1912 (2:20 a.m.) The Titanic sinks. April 15, 1912 (4:10 a.m.) The Carpathia picks up the first of the survivors. April 15, 1912 (8:30 a.m.) The Carpathia picks up survivors from the last lifeboat. April 17, 1912 The Mackay-Bennett is the first of several ships to travel to the area where the Titanic sank to search for bodies. April 18, 1912 The Carpathia arrives in New York with 705 survivors. May 2 - July 3, 1912 The British hold an inquiry about the Titanic disaster. September 1, 1985 Robert Ballard's expedition team discovers the wreck of the Titanic. The disaster resulted in the loss of more than 1,500 lives, almost two-thirds of the people on board.

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14 The Roane Reader

APR. 2012

Rockwood Memories

By RAY COLLETT Growing up in the Clymersville area of Rockwood was really a special time. Dirt road, the ice wagon, and the Rolling Store are just a few memories. One thing that I especially remember is the baseball team, it seems like every community had one and would play games every weekend. Eureka, Pond Grove, Cardiff, Dyllis, New Hope and Emory Gap were just a few of the teams. The Clymersville Wildcats started out without uniforms, just regular everyday clothes. After a few games, donations and profits from selling soft drinks, uniforms were ordered. We couldn't wait to see our beloved team in the new team uniforms. Well, when the new uniforms arrived, the only parts they got were the pants and shirts. No baseball shoes, socks or caps, that never stopped them though. They donned the pants and shirts, and some players wore dress hats like the men wore in the 40's and 50's, dress socks and an assortment of shoes. They wore dress Sunday shoes, high top Brogan work shoes, and even a couple played barefoot. But they were PROUD of those uniforms. And a really good team too! Some of the players included, Clarence "Paddles" Wilkey, L. D. "Mac" McCulley, Bo McCulley, Charlie Boles, Carl and Richard Gardnew, Jay Warner, John and Charlie "Greedy" Collett, Jackie Monday, Ed Roberts, Tom Reed , the Cofer boys, Clarence, Speedy, Jake and Lawrence and many others. Other than baseball, during the summer, naturally fishing was on our minds. No lakes or creeks in Clymersville, so we had two choices. A long walk to the Rockwood Beach and boat dock or go "Chicken Fishing". What? Never heard of "Chicken Fishing"? Well, what we would do was get an old rod and reel and bait it up with a worm or two, or maybe a few grains of corn on a small hook. Everyone had chickens scratching around in their yard , just right for catching. It usually only took one well placed cast among a bunch of chickens until one would grab it. I am here to tell you, if you have never reeled in about a two and half pound Dominecker, you don't know what you are missing. Puts up a better fight than any bas you ever caught. I used to tell my sons about that, and that we would mount them just like deer heads and antlers. Had them all over our walls. Of course, after a while they knew that I was just joking. Some of those Virginians that I worked with actually believed me though. And like most Rockwood children, Saturday meant going to town early and to the Lyric and later the Roane Theaters. Even the Ritz was open on the weekends for the B-Westerns. I think it cost about a dime or so and when you turned 12, the price jumped to a quarter. We would all try to squat down in front of the ticket window and look shorter. I think they knew we were older, but Mr. Luttrell was so nice, he would let us in anyway. Remember the drawings they had at the Roane Theater once a week? Every Tuesday I think. You had to register each week and they would have a few drawings for money. I used to loved to get picked to pull out a ticket, hoping the winner was there and would give me a "reward". It happened a few times. My book, "Rockwood Memories Vol.ll is available by calling me at 865-354-7680 or by email at rcol110479@aol.com . I will also mail them. Don't forget our annual Rockwood High School Reunion. It will be coming up the week of June 4,2012 with our meal on Sat. June 9,2012. Make plans to attend. Until next month,,,,"Nuff said, Ray

Happy 31st Anniversary

M OTO R S LLC

Call 882 1165 1007 Ruritan Rd JESUS SAVES

Located 300 feet north of the red light at the intersection of Pine Ridge Rd & Ruritan Rd in So. Harriman

Sport Utilities

Cars Trucks Equipment Carports Tractors Vans “Where Customers Send Their Friends”

Frank & Connie Hughart April 17th

Treasures lost on the Titanic

It’s estimated that about 5 percent of the actual treasure that was on the ship has already been found. That means that there’s still 95 percent that has yet to be recovered! And with the wreckage disintegrating and deteriorating at a much faster rate than anyone expected, this lost treasure only has a very limited time before it’s gone forever. What is at the heart of most searches now is the same thing that was the foundation for the search in the movie – diamonds. These diamonds belonged to two men who came from Switzerland when they first boarded Titanic. These two men were brothers and they brought with them onto Titanic a ship load of diamonds. And a whole lotta diamonds at that! This shipment is said to equal today about 300 million dollars, which is about 200,000 British pounds. These diamonds have not yet been found but researchers and divers are working hard to recover them. Some say that searching the Titanic for lost treasure is wrong and that it comes very close to grave digging. However, those that are looking for the treasure defend this. They state that it’s better to uncover these treasures and to piece together history so that future generations may learn from it, than to let it lie rotting at the bottom of the ocean. They also state that any treasure recovered from the Titanic would be held for display purposes only, and that they would never be sold in any way. The Titanic lays in international waters, which leads some to believe that anything still aboard it is free for the taking. But, if you have the gear and the ambition to travel down into sea and through those very, very deep waters, it might serve you well to know that it’s only the RMS Titanic, which is the company that built the ship, that has actual real rights to anything found onboard. Some of the other items that they are hoping to recover are pieces of luggage from the first-class travelers and some registered mail.

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APR. 2012

Fun & Facts for kids only Thinking of getting an Easter Bunny?

Rabbits eat carrots, vegetables, tree barks and herbs. Rabbits are social, loving and interactive animals. Rabbits weigh between 2 to 11 pounds. Rabbits have a very good memory. Rabbits have long sensitive ears, which can turn in any direction and can also help in regulating their temperature. Rabbits can make various sounds. Rabbits have large eyes and a blind spot right in front of their face. Rabbits can see behind themselves without rotating their heads. A male rabbit is called buck and a female one is called doe. A baby rabbit is called kitten or a kit. Rabbits have 28 teeth, which keeps on growing continuously throughout its life. Rabbits can produce babies when they are 6 months old. Rabbits can produce 20-40 babies in a year. Size of the litter is usually between 4-8 kits. Babies are born blind and without fur. Babies open their eyes at about 10 days. Rabbits feed their babies only for about 5 minutes a day. Rabbits can jump as long as 36 inches and higher. Rabbits can run about 35 miles an hour. Average lifespan of a rabbit is about 8-10 years. Rabbits can't vomit. Rabbit's chew 120 times a minute and has over 17,000 taste buds. Rabbit meat is all white meat. Rabbits require a four hours exercise a day Rabbit's diet is equally important. The wrong food can kill a rabbit. Rabbits don't like being picked up. Rabbits clean up themselves.

Unscramble the Easter words

SOSCR PRINGS SUSJE YILL BOMT REATSE SIREN SNOTRH DOOLB EDDI

Why Easter Eggs?

In Christian times, the egg was a symbol of new life just as a chick might hatch from the egg.

Why color Easter eggs?

The coloring of eggs is a established art, and eggs are often dyed, painted, and otherwise decorated. Eggs were also used in various holiday games: parents would hide eggs for children to find, and children would roll eggs down hills. These practices live on in Easter egg hunts and egg rolls. The most famous egg roll takes place on the White House lawn every year. The oldest tradition is to use dyed and painted chicken eggs, but a modern custom is to substitute chocolate eggs, or plastic eggs filled with confectionery such as jellybeans.

Easter Facts

ANSWERS: CROSS SPRING JESUS LILY TOMB EASTER RISEN THORNS BLOOD DIED

Easter always falls between March 22 and April 25. Easter is a "moveable feast" as it does not fall on a fixed date in the Gregorian or Julian calendars. The full moon determines the date of Easter. "Pysanka" is a name given to the tradition of Easter egg painting. The color used in painting the eggs differ in different nations. Orthodox Grecians paint their eggs red to symbolize the blood of Christ. Some Germans and Austrians paint their eggs green and use them on Holy Thursday. Slavic peoples decorate their eggs in gold and silver patterns. Ninety million chocolate Easter bunnies and 16 billion jelly beans are produced each year before the commencement of the Easter festivities. As a holiday, Easter comes only second to Halloween in terms of the annual sale confectionary items. 76 percent of people eat the ears on chocolate bunnies first. According to the Guinness Book of World Records the largest Easter egg ever made was just over 25 feet high and weighed 8,968 lbs.

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15 The Roane Reader

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16 The Roane Reader

APR. 2012

Robert Shiller: US Houses are Going Down! Yale professor Robert Shiller says the US housing market “still hasn’t hit bottom”. He has a good record here, having developed the Case-Shiller index to track house-price trends and called the bubble of the 2000s. “I don’t see any reason to think that prices are going to start heading up dramatically now.” Record low interest rates won’t boost housing, he says, claiming “the model hasn’t worked very well historically”. The problem is that “we’ve never had… a bubble… of this magnitude before”. As for house prices, the “big thing… is momentum. If it’s been going down, it will continue going down.” Interest rates are the lifeblood of the capital markets and the real economy. Lower rates and easy money fuel asset bubbles and economic activity. Higher rates and tighter money pop bubbles and restrain growth. It's as simple as that! Is the Fed Losing Control of Interest Rates? The U.S. has been borrowing and spending money like crazy. We've racked up $1 trillion-plus in annual deficits for the past few years, and we've amassed a debt load of $15.5 trillion ... and counting. Neither the Democrats nor Republicans have offered a credible plan to get us off this trajectory, just like their European counterparts before them. Huge debt has already come home in Europe. Countries like Greece, Ireland, Portugal, Spain, and Italy have seen their cost of borrowing surge, their sovereign bonds plunge, and their economies tank. But for the longest time, the selling wave never hit the USA. Why? Massive monetary manipulation by the Federal Reserve and central banks overseas! The Fed has been selling short-term Treasuries and buying long-term Treasuries as part of Operation Twist, a scheme designed to suppress long-term rates. And its counterparts in other countries have been printing piles of money. A huge amount of those pounds, yen, and euros were deposited in Treasuries simply because they had no other place to go. But now, economic forces are messing up the best-laid plans of the bureaucrats and money printers. Signs of improvement in the domestic economy, rising inflation pressures, and the long-term debt and deficit problems are all combining to torpedo the bond market! They key question: Is the Fed finally losing control of interest rates? It sure looks possible! The Consequences of Higher Rates for You! Higher monthly payments and reduced home values during the housing slump. We are still dealing with an oversupplied housing market, and we still have lenders remaining tight with qualification standards. So every small move higher in interest rates hurts more than it normally would. Indeed, higher rates could easily put the brakes on the out-of-control move higher we've seen in housing and related stocks the past few months. If you've been looking to refinance your home, you shouldn't wait much longer. You may even want to consider a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (“HECM”) . This is a unique government guaranteed program that allows you to take cash out of your home now, live in your home and have no monthly principal or interest payments to make as long as you live in the home. The amount you may borrow is based upon the appraised value of the home not your income or credit standing. If you're buying or selling a home, make sure you factor higher borrowing costs into your decision if you have a habit of procrastinating . If you don’t take advantage of a “HECM” and you want to keep paying monthly payments of principal and interest… you'll have to pay less if you're purchasing to keep the same monthly mortgage payment at a higher interest rate. And if you're selling, your potential buyers will have less buying power and you will have to sell for less! Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates. He may be contacted at 1-800-530-5700. Consultations and personal reviews are confidential and free of charge in Crossville, Kingston & Knoxville.

Happy Birthday

Kaitlyn "Kit" Kirby #17 April 1st

“The future will be better tomorrow.” - Dan Quayle

The Roane Reader would like to give a very extra special thanks to the heads involved in the "Grand Reopening" of the Princess Theatre. Its a wonderful blessing to have a place for our future generations to learn about the Arts and Entertainment buisnesses. Everyone needs to support this cause as much as possible, this is very important for our future as a community. ---Justin Stout & Kay Christopher---

The Roane Reader

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apr. 2012

17 The Roane Reader

The Roane Reader proudly presents THE WRITER'S PAGE Let me go

What are you doing?

By: LARRY KUTCHER What are you doing, where are you going, what is your five-year plan? We cannot help you without knowing, then we will understand.

When I come to the end of the road, And the sun has set for me, I want no rites in a gloom filled room. Why cry for a soul set free?

Where are you going, what are you doing, what is your five-year plan? Handing me a flag, they sent me off to war, and said you’ll come back a man.

For this is a journey we all must take, And each must go alone. It’s all a part of the Master’s plan, A step on the road to home.

Where am I at, what am I doing, what is my five-year plan? Crippled children, burning villages, walking with blood on my hands.

Miss me a little—but not too long, And not with your head bowed low, Remember the love that we once shared, Miss me—but let me go.

Where are you going, where have you been, what is your five-year plan? I’ve been to Hell to fight your war, and now I’m back again. Where are you going, what are you doing, what is your five-year plan? I’m wiping this blood on your political white shirt, so you will understand. What are you doing, where are you going, what is your five-year plan? To heal the suffering I have caused, on my journey to become a man.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR WRITINGS ON THIS PAGE EMAIL US: INFO@ROANEREADER.COM

When you are lonely and sick of heart, Go to the friends we know, And bury your sorrow in doing good deeds, Miss me—but let me go. Author Unknown

HARRIMAN, TN

Don’t be fooled by big discount store prices Get good quality AND great prices on all jewelry here!

“RISE to the occasion” Get her something nice for EASTER JEWELRY REPAIR AND SIZING while you wait 882-4000 Open: Tues.-Fri. 10- 6 Sat. 10-3 Closed Sunday and Monday

By: Elsie Wyrick Our Lord Jesus is not in Pilot’s Hall being tormented for us! Our Lord Jesus is not carrying His cross up Calvary’s Hill for us! Our Lord Jesus is not letting Himself be nailed to the cross for us! Our Lord Jesus is not dead and laying in a tomb! But our Lord Jesus has risen from that tomb. Our Jesus has won all the victories over sins and death! Now, it’s up to us all to accept those victories by asking forgiveness of our sins and letting Him be our Saviour! He has paid all of it for us! Is He your choice?

'To the world you might be one person, But to one person you just might be the world'

Happy 89th Birthday Jacqueline Lemons April 14th

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18 The Roane Reader

apr. 2012

Foolish Forecasts:

How did environmentalists get it so wrong on Earth Day 1970?

* * *

* * * * * *

What was once Earth Day has now morphed into Earth Hour and Earth Week. The success of the celebration can only be explained by the fact that no one ever bothers to go back to check the accuracy of the eco-wackos’ past predictions. These predictions were made at the first Earth Day in 1970. They were wrong—and some of the predictions were made by professors from Harvard and Stanford! (aren’t they supposed to be much smarter than most of us?) “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.”-- George Wald, Harvard Biologist “We are in an environmental crisis which threatens the survival of this nation, and of the world as a suitable place of human habitation.” -- Barry Commoner, Washington University biologist “By…[1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s.” -- Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist “Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….” -- Life Magazine, January 1970 “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.” -- Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist “At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it’s only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable.” -- Kenneth Watt, Ecologist “Man must stop pollution and conserve his resources, not merely to enhance existence but to save the race from intolerable deterioration and possible extinction.” -- New York Times editorial, the day after the first Earth Day “Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct.”-- Sen. Gaylord Nelson “The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.” -- Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

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The Amount Of Time Needed For Things To Decompose:

a. plastics can take 500 years b. aluminum cans may take 500 years c. organic materials usually take 6 months d. cotton, rags, paper all take 6 months Let us do our part to preserve the beauty of our Earth—but let us not fall for the untruths shouted by some, simply to forward their empty cause. (Me)

Happy Birthday Willow Jones #9 April 23rd

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DOWNTOWN EMORY GAP

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By the wisdom of this world, I am a fool for JESUS. In light of truth and reality, whos fool are you?

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apr. 2012

You know you are living in 2012 when...

hom ed e

e tur i rn

The Spotted Spaniel

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1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries... 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list .. NOW you’re LAUGHING at yourself! Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused!" (Unknown Author)

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19 The Roane Reader

Thoughts to abide by

Planting a special garden

¤ 'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fightin some kind of battle.' ¤ A sharp tongue can cut your own throat. ¤ If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep. ¤ Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. ¤ The best vitamin for making friends...... B1. ¤ The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. ¤ The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge .. ¤ One thing you can give and still keep... is your word. ¤ You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself. ¤ If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished. ¤ One thing you can't recycle is wasted time ¤ Ideas won't work unless ' You' do. ¤ Your mind is like a parachute…it functions only when open. ¤ The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice. ¤ The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! ¤ It is never too late to become what you might have been.

First plant five rows of peas; PREPAREDNESS, PROMPTNESS, PERSERVERANCE, POLITENESS, PRAYER. Next to them plant three rows of squash: SQUASH GOSSIP, SQUASH CRITICISM, SQUASH INDIFFERENCE. Then five rows of lettuce: LET US BE FAITHFUL, LET US BE UNSELFISH, LET US BE LOYAL LET US BE TRUTHFUL, LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER. And no garden is complete without turnips: TURN UP FOR CHURCH, TURN UP WITH A SMILE TURN UP WITH DETERMINATION

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