November 2011

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THE ORIGINAL

Roane Reader

FREE

Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!

VOLUME 19

NOVEMBER 2011

This Issue is Dedicated to Sandra L. Stout

NUMBER 1

Established 1993

5,000

Distributed

Rockwood Memories

Ray Collet

The Direction

From Harriman Mayor Chris Mason

Penny Pinchers

Save money

Bible Beat

Quizzes, puzzles, facts

10 8&9 5

Entertainment

6

Writer's Page

17

Aunt Hattie

10

Round Racin'

12

Gabin' with Glander

13

Trivia, facts, movie mistakes Our readers submitted writings Hurry-up recipes Racing news or views

By Jerry Lemons

The Roane Reader Pick one up before they are all gone!

2

Digital Revolution

By Justin Stout

Happy Thanksgiving

14

Obituaries

7

Fun & Facts for Kids only

15

Household Hints

10

You & The Stars

18

Monthly

And Adults

Save time & energy

What's in your future?

2 The Roane Reader

Turkey Talk

“The Direction”

By: CHRIS MASON - HARRIMAN CITY MAYOR November 2011

**The Roane Medical Center has announced its plans to have the new $72 million facility completed by February 2013. This gives us about 15 months to be fully prepared and have tenants ready to move into these buildings downtown. As you may know we have been proactively working toward revitalizing our downtown as well as finding something to move onto the soon to be vacant buildings that the hospital will leave behind. Thus far we have received several letters of intent to purchase from developers interested and we are now considering hiring our own retail/industrial recruiter to help. I feel very good about where we are in relation to the future of Harriman. A downtown that you will be proud of is coming back, it is happening! **October was the month of the Hauntings of Historic Harriman! The Ghost tours were a big success again this year. We will look forward to the Parade of Christmas Trees and the Christmas Parade coming soon! **The 2011-12 fiscal budget has passed in a special called meeting. We were please to have been able to have kept our tax rate the same again this year and we project to have a General Fund balance of $647,599.00 I am especially pleased with this number considering we had been experiencing a slowdown in our economy. Continued support of citizens shopping locally has proven to have helped. **As you can see the Princess Theater for Arts Education project is finally nearing completion! Excitement and anticipation continue to grow with this great project and it has already received several recognitions, awards and grants. We have been held up by getting approvals for the grant portion of the project but we think the opening will now very soon. A local painter,Tim Plemons is now applying some of the “finishing touches” to the inside and is recreating its look just like it was in 1939. Paul Mashburn has donated countless hours documenting this project on his blog site www.princesstheater.blogspot.com .

Classes in conjunction with Roane State and the Ch 15 television station are also happening this semester.

This project is going to have a huge impact on the lives of the youth and everyone in the community.

Roane State has hired the manager for the facility; we welcome Megan Anderson to the project! Formore information on using the facility call Diane Cox at Roane State 882-4590. ** Our clerk Angie Skidmore has completed her State training and is now a State Certified Clerk.

Congratulations Angie!

**Remember to shop your local merchants as much as possible!

J & B

furniture

Keep The Roane Reader going by supporting our sponsors!!

email: info@roanereader.com or zoningk@comcast.net See your ad online @ www.roanereader.com

Imagine going on a turkey hunt only to find there are no wild turkeys! It sounds far fetched, but in the early 1930s this grand game bird was on the verge of extinction. But today, thanks to hunters and wildlife restoration programs, the wild turkey is abundant and thriving in its homeland.

Between 5,000 and 6,000 feathers cover the body of an adult turkey in patterns called feather tracts. A turkey's feathers provide a variety of survival functions – they keep him warm and dry, allow him to fly, feel and show off for the opposite sex. The head and upper part of the neck are featherless, but if you look close, you can see little bumps of skin on the bare area.

Most of the feathers exhibit a metallic glittering, called iridescence, with varying colors of red, green, copper, bronze and gold. The gobbler, or male turkey, is more colorful, while the hen is a drab brownish or lighter color to camouflage her with her surroundings.

Two major characteristics distinguish males from females: spurs and beards. Both sexes have long, powerful legs covered with scales and are born with a small button spur on the back of the leg.

Soon after birth, a male's spur starts growing pointed and curved and can grow to about two inches. Most hen's spurs do not grow.

Gobblers also have beards, which are tufts of filaments, or modified feathers, growing out from the chest. Beards can grow to an average of 9 inches (though they can grow much longer). It must also be noted that 10 to 20 percent of hens have beards.

Wild turkeys have excellent vision during the day but don't see as well at night. They are also very mobile. Turkeys can run at speeds up to 25 mph, and they can fly up to 55 mph.

Wild turkeys like open areas for feeding, mating and habitat. They use forested areas as cover from predators and for roosting in trees at night. A varied habitat of both open and covered area is essential for wild turkey survival.

From only 30,000 turkeys in the early 1900s to more than 7 million today, this intriguing species has truly made an awesome comeback.

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3 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

TO REMEMBER ME The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress, located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and dying. At a certain moment, a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat, and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses, and all the prejudice against my fellow man.

Give my sins to the devil.

Give my soul to God. If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.

If you do all I have asked, I will love forever. (author unknown)

"A man jumped the White House fence, but after a brief chase, the Secret Service was able to talk President Obama into coming back and finishing his term." Conan O'Brien

SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY

By O.I. Seenya

 Heard from several businesses and readers around Roane County, "We bought out The Roane Reader, we are the ones taking it over". (Well, we obviously know this isn’t true because we haven’t seen our cut? If I was a customer I would think twice about doing business with them. I mean I am all for some healthy competition but please people come up with your own ideas.)  A man walking up to a fast food restaurant with his dog. His dog waited outside while he ordered a huge hamburger and a knife. He divided the hamburger exactly in to. He then took half outside and hand fed it to the dog before going back in to eat his share.  A young man and woman, apparently in an argument, standing on the street with two separate piles of luggage and clothes, probably waiting on separate rides.

The Roane Reader salutes Veterans November 11th

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4 The Roane Reader

The “Copy Cat” Paper

Nov. 2011

KAY CHRISTOPHER

As most of you know, my sister Sandra Stout and I created the Roane Reader over 18 years ago.

For all those years, we typed everything ourselves. We visited businesses and tried to sell ads to pay for our printing cost--every month. We delivered each paper and restocked to four counties every month. We did our own bookkeeping and billing. We did our own collecting.

Don’t get me wrong, we had people submitting articles, and family members to help us pick up the paper and deliver it, but we all did it free. No pay.

Why did we do it? Because we loved doing it. We made a small amount of money by commission from the ads we sold, but the real reason we did it was because it was from our heart.

Sandra passed away June 2 this year. The last issue we put out was a nightmare.

I had decided to not print the May issue because Sandra was so sick, but she insisted.

“We have advertisers who are depending on us”, were her exact words.

She did not know she would be so sick by the deadline day that she couldn’t even get up out of bed.

Me and her daughter-in-law Tracy finished the paper at around 3 a.m. that morning. I slept for a few hours on her couch that night, because I had to have the paper at Crossville at 9 a.m. to meet the printing deadline.

When Sandra realized she was not going to survive her fight with cancer, she asked me what I thought about her son Justin taking over the paper. I informed her that was fine with me, because if she wasn‘t around, I didn‘t have the heart to go on with it. (I knew Sandra would have never suggested it if she thought he wouldn’t be able to do it).

Sandra lived for another month, then peacefully died while of we helplessly stood around her.

At that time, continuing the paper was not a priority for us.

A few months later, I was sitting on my front deck, crying, because I missed her so much. Then it was like a jolt hit me with the idea that we could continue the paper. Me and Justin could type everything, and with his computer smarts, we could put out the Roane Reader electronically (online), and make a paper copy available in select stores to sell for $1. We wouldn’t need to sell ads, which is the part I hated about it all, and if we could make enough to pay for the printing cost, we‘d be satisfied.

So, I called Justin that instance, and he was all for it. He knew this was what Sandra wanted.

Unfortunately, during our grieving time, a “copy cat” paper had begun to appear.

While Sandra was so sick, one of the owners of the copy cat paper sent word that he might be interested in buying our paper. Me and Sandra discussed it and set a price.

Evidently, he thought it was too much, so, without our knowledge, apparently he got a partner, and decided to copy our layout for free.

Next thing I know, I see the copy cat paper in the store and it is very similar to the Roane Reader.

It was a slap in the face to me, but I tried to not let it bother me.

Then, lo and behold, I turn around and they have colored it, and used the same layout we had on our paper. Now, it really does look like our beloved Roane Reader! They did, however, change the name to the Roane Review, but this was no longer just a slap in my face, it was a fist in my stomach! (They at least were smart enough to wait until Sandra passed away before they copied our beloved paper. No telling what she would have done to them).

If you’ve seen this “copy cat” paper, you will see what I mean. Many people have told us they have picked it up and started reading it, then threw it away when they discovered it was not the Roane Reader.

Some businesses have told us they had been advertising in the copy cat paper thinking they were advertising in The Roane Reader.

So, when you go in the store, if you want to get one of our papers, look closely. The copy cat paper looks very similar to ours. Ask the clerk for The original Roane Reader, and not the copy cat paper entitled the Roane Review.

This is our first issue since Sandra died.

It’s more special than the first issue she and I did 18 plus years ago.

Justin and I hope you enjoy the Roane Reader, and we want you know that it will be a little different that the original Roane Reader, but it is still done with love and is still from our hearts.

The point of telling you all this in detail, is to let you know the Roane Reader is continuing. We will be printing paper copies and providing them free of charge to you.

Later, it will be available online. Even later than that, we may have to begin charging for the paper copy, but as for now, we’ll be in your favorite business by the first of every month, hoping to entertain you and carrying on the tradition of the Roane Reader that Sandra Stout loved, worked so hard for, and believed in so strongly.

What if you woke up today with ONLY the things you thanked

God for YESTERDAY?

Larry's KARAOKE American Legion Harriman

Nov. 5th Nov. 12th 7:00 p.m.

Come bring your whole family.

Concession stand available Join us for a great time!

5 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

Digital Revolution

BY Justin Stout

Television Technology

Welcome to the Digital Revolution informative repair page, some people may not realize the technological changes that are going on around them. Technology is rapidly changing and the tools we use everyday get smarter. This article will be one of many about the repair of that electronic technology. In this series of articles we will be talking about televisions most common problems and the repair differences. Many people ask me frequently “What is the best kind of TV to get?” There are several types of TV’s on the market these days the most common are LCD or (liquid crystal display), DLP or (digital light processing), and Plasma Display Panel or (PDP). LCD, DLP and PDP all have some major differences but all produce High Definition picture quality.

The life cycle for TV’s these days according to the manufactures are more than 10 years, but from my experience they are typically 3 to 5 years. Many people get pretty upset over this considering they threw away there working 30 year old floor model to buy a new flat screen only to find out it lasts a couple years.

The first type of television I want to talk about is LCD, believe it or not LCD technology dates back to 1888 when Friedrich Reinitzer discovered the liquid crystalline nature of cholesterol extracted from carrots.

In 1972, 84 years later the first active-matrix liquid crystal display panel was produced in the U.S.A by Westinghouse. The technology of LCD has been trough many trials, been developed and redeveloped.

With this amount of history associated with the actual display I think it’s safe to say there aren’t many problems with these types of displays other than them being very fragile. However the electronic components that make up the power supplies for these types of televisions are made cheaper and cheaper and cheaper. Unfortunately cheap power supplies in our LCD TV’s are the major downfall when it comes to these types of TV’s failing.

There is an upside to the failure of power supplies in LCD TV’s. The majority of components that go bad in power supplies these days are capacitors. Capacitors used in this application are used to filter or smooth the power supply voltage which powers the rest of the circuitry in the TV. Capacitors have a shelve life due to the dielectric they use in the construction process. The cheaper made caps have a shorter shelve life than more expensive and more reliable caps.

The repairs of these power supplies are usually simple if it’s just a capacitor problem. The bigger the TV the more expensive the repair, due to the power supplies having more capacitors. Larger TV’s also have bigger more expensive caps and can be harder to find. The repair usually takes a couple of hours to complete and if the technician has them on hand they could potentially repair on site. This type of repair should only run from $50 to $150 depending on labor, the parts are relatively inexpensive. LCD TV’s can have other common problems that occur from long periods of use. The LCD TV’s are back lit with CCFL or Cold Cathode Fluorescent Lamps. The CCFL bulbs are similar to the ones in a common shop light or at your local grocery store. The bulbs behind the LCD screen tend to degrade over time and can make the picture appear pinkish. This repair can be somewhat costly ranging from $150 to $350 depending on screen size and manufacture. The ballasts that power these lamps can go bad as well with a repair cost of around $100 to $200. This problem is not real common but will eventually occur. The bulb life expectancy is between 30-60,000 hours so you should be good for 16 hours a day for more than 10 years. The newer LCD TV’s are backlit with LED or (Light Emitting Diode) technology and have a much longer life expectancy with sharper images.

The next TV we are going to touch on is the DLP or (Digital Light Processing) televisions or sometimes referred to as “digital light projection”. DLP TV’s are very different in the way they display an image on the screen. DLP technology was originally developed in 1987 by Dr. Larry Hornback of the well known company Texas Instruments. DLP is a trademark owned by Texas Instruments and is used in TV’s, Video Projectors and even Cell Phones. In DLP projectors, the image is created by microscopically small mirrors laid out in a matrix on a semiconductor chip, known as a Digital Micromirror Device (DMD). Each mirror represents one or more pixels in the projected image. The number of mirrors corresponds to the resolution of the projected image. These mirrors can be repositioned rapidly to reflect light either through the lens or on to a heat sink (called a light dump). Some of the pros of this technology are: *Smooth, jitter-free images *No possibility of screen burn-in (this means you don’t have to keep a screen saver playing to prevent images being burned onto your TV. This is something you would encounter from LCD or PDP technology. *DLP is considerably cheaper and lighter weight than LCD or Plasma.

As with all pros there has to be cons, so here are some cons associated with this type of display: *Not as thin as LCD or plasma flat-panel displays *Replacement of the lamp / light bulb. The average life span of a TV light source averages 2000–5000 hours and the replacement cost for these range from $99 – $350, depending on the brand and model. After replacing the bulb a few times, the cost can easily exceed the original purchase price of the television itself. Newer generations' units use LEDs or lasers which effectively eliminate this issue, although replacement LED chips could potentially be required over the extended lifespan of the television set. *Response time in video games may be affected by up scaling lag. While all HDTVs have some lag when up scaling lower resolution input to their native resolution, DLP's are commonly reported to have longer delays. Newer consoles such as the Xbox 360 do not have this problem as long as they are connected with HD-capable cables. *Reduced viewing angle as compared to direct-view technologies such as CRT, plasma, and LCD. DLP TV’s also have a lot of moving parts and expensive hard to find mechanical components in the design of these types of displays. The most common problems associated with this technology come from the Lamp, Ballast, Color Wheel or DMD chips. All four of the components previously described are costly

repairs. The lamp replacement is $99 - $350. The ballast, Color wheel and DMD chips are very hard to find individually and usually the light engine assembly houses all three of these devices and is only available as a complete unit making this critical component in the $1500 range. Yes that’s $1500 more than the TV is worth rendering it useless in most cases.

The next technology I will be talking about is the Plasma display panel or PDP. They are called "plasma" displays because the technology utilizes small cells containing electrically charged ionized gases, or what are in essence chambers more commonly known as fluorescent lamps. In 1964 the plasma video display was co-invented at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign by Donald Bitzer, H. Gene Slottow, and graduate student Robert Willson for the PLATO Computer System. Advantages of PDP are picture quality, producing deeper blacks, wider viewing angles than those of LCD and less visible motion blur. They have a very high refresh rate and a faster response time, contributing to superior performance when displaying content with significant amounts of rapid motion. They are very slim, can be mounted on the wall and are less bulky than DLP TV’s.

Disadvantages are screen burn, loss of luminosity over time, resulting in gradual decline of brightness.

Newer generation plasmas are less susceptible to loss of image brightness and have life spans exceeding 100,000 hours, far longer than older CRT technology. These types of displays generally do not come in smaller sizes than 37 inches. They are heavier than LCD and use more electricity. The PDP displays do not work well at high altitudes due to pressure differential between the gases inside the screen and the air pressure at altitude. AM radio or amateur radio operators beware the Radio Frequency Interference (RFI) from these devices can be irritating or disabling.

Common problems associated with these displays are huge black lines running down the screen, usually caused by overheated components coming unsoldered. Plasma TV’s will generate a lot of heat causing solder to reflow or loose connection. The black lines can typically be repaired for around $100 to $300 depending on Labor and the size of the TV. Another issue with the Plasma is high altitudes can shorten the life of the gas filled displays. Once the gas has weakened or lost, then there isn’t anyway to recharge them, rendering them useless. Screen burn in is also a problem, this happens whenever any static image stays on the screen for a very long time and is still faintly visible even when the image changes. Burning-in can easily be prevented by turning your TV off after use or not leaving video paused on the screen or with the use of a screen saver which some models have built in. When a display is “Burned-in” the ghost image can very rarely be reversed.

Now that you know a little about the technology of the current television designs its up to you to make your decision on what type you would go with. Being an electronic technician for 14 years I work on these types of displays and I can say from my experience the LCD TV’s are usually the cheapest to repair these days and have been around close to 100 years. Plasma Displays have a better picture quality and viewing angle, but degrade over time and can be a little more costly to repair. DLP technology has a lot of moving parts that I am not a big fan of and are very susceptible to vibrations and are by far the most expensive to repair. So to answer your question: “What is the best kind of TV to get?” well I think it is a toss up between LCD and Plasma, and this depends on your budget and ability to give your TV the care it needs. It is a lot like a vehicle, every one has one and knows how to make it run, but not everyone is good at keeping up with the required maintenance and care they all need. All in all the less “viewing miles” you can put on your TV the longer it will last but all technologies will have there problems and my gut tells me to go with the one that has been around the longest.

We specialize in repairing, installing,cleaning and maintenance of all types of audio equipment including car, home, office, business and professional.

We also upgrade & service Computers, Monitors, Televisions, Electronic Musical Instruments, Game Systems, Cell Phones, Cameras, Cd/DVD Players, Amplifiers, Power Tools and anything that plugs into the wall, uses a battery or has electricity running through it.

Our trained professionals have 14 years of experience.

We repair to component level, unlike board swappers, saving you money!

For more info, visit our website at: www.digirevrepairs.com or call Justin @ 865-603-7656

1134 Georgia St HARRIMAN, TN 37748

E-MAIL: SERVICE@DIGITALREVOLUTIONREPAIRS.COM

6 The Roane Reader

Harriman Library Is an Asset For All

by Jerry Lemons and Barbara Pelfrey-Milsaps If you haven't been to the Harriman Public Library recently, you should check it out. You'd be surprised at all the changes.

The Harriman Library is an historical landmark. It is on the State Register of Historical Places. The building itself is a study in architecture, being a beautiful work constructed in 1910. Both the exterior and interior of the library is a study in solidity combined with elegance. But it is the many services and benefits that the Harriman Library provides year-round to the community that makes it an asset for all.

Just some of those benefits and services include a collection of more than 20,000 volumes of books, magazines and newspapers; a handicap lift so that patrons can go by elevator from the ground floor to the basement section, where the children department is located and books are for sale; public access computers with on-line hookup; videos, audios, and large-print books and information for the blind that you can check out; a genealogical section which includes Maxwell Funeral Home and DeArmond Funeral Home records; county newspapers going back decades on microfilm; the newest books by numerous authors, including Stephen King, John Grisham, and Daneill Steel; inter-library loan wherein the library can order and obtain books, information and research materials not currently available in the library; and last but not least: children programs.

The strongest point of the Harriman Library is no doubt its emphasis on children programs and its children department. Tammie Edwards is the Harriman Library's Children Librarian. She makes sure that programs directed to children include a summer reading program, and preschool and after-school programs.

"Our greatest asset is the children department," states Library Director Barbra Pelfrey-Milsaps.

While school is going on, the library conducts a Tuesday after-school program from 3:30 to 4:30, a Wednesday preschool program from11:00 to 12:00 and a Thursday home-school program from 11:00 to 12:00. There is no charge for these programs.

The Harriman Public Library is there for you. It's an asset for all in the community. Library Director Barbara Pelfrey-Milsaps encourages the public to participate in and take advantage of all the services and benefits the library provides.

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ENTERTAINMENT KAY CHRISTOPHER

Top FIVE Veteran’s Day movies

Veteran's Day is a day set aside to honor the brave people who have risked and given their lives to protect Americans and our way of life.

Here’s a list of probably the top five movies honoring them.

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) A British officer shows determination by defying the orders of his Japanese prison camp commander. He agrees to build a bridge for the Japanese railway. Unknown to him, the bridge is an Allied target scheduled to be destroyed upon its completion as a train carrying Japanese soldier and officials makes the first crossing. Will he stand by and let the monument he has built be destroyed or will he come the aid of his countrymen and help destroy the bridge?

Patton (1970) One of the most decorated and an ingenious commander of WWII, Patton demonstrates his skills from North Africa to Italy to France and then Germany. His reputation wins him many supporters but his big mouth gets him in trouble time and again.

Von Ryan's Express (1965) Ryan is a US Colonel, shot down over Italy and installed as the new ranking officer in the prison camp. Most of his charges are British and have been digging tunnels for a planned escape. Exposing the tunnels in exchange for supplies, Ryan is distrusted, even hated by most of the men. When the war ends, he leads the men out of the camp on an arduous day and night march, only to find they are surrounded by Germans. Captured, they are forced onto a train and their only hope for freedom is to seize it.

Bataan (1943) Drama A group of soldiers, each separated from his own unit, form a new unit and are ordered to hold their position at a bridge crossing to give the retreating American troops time to move from Manila to Bataan. The team decides to blow the bridge and wait the enemy to arrive. Advancing Japanese soldiers in their conquest to capture the Philippines do arrive and set about trying to rebuild the bridge by night. Later, the group realizes that they were left behind.

Victory (1981) Drama German officers discover that the POWs in their charge include a number of talented soccer players. After some cajoling and bartering, the Germans convince the prisoners to play the German national team in a propaganda match. The prisoners accept as a ploy to cover an escape attempt.

War is a grim part of our history and those who have paid the ultimate price to sustain our freedom should never be forgotten.

While one or two are told from a humorous perspective, these films pay tribute to those who have served our country.

Remember the veterans on Veteran's Day.

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Nov. 2011

Adult trivia

What president was shot while walking to California Gov-ernor Jerry Brown' office? In the Wizard of Oz, what was Dorothy’s middle name? What famous document be-gins: "When in the course of human events..."? What current branch of the U.S. military was a corps of only 50 soldiers when World War I broke out? What was a gladiator armed with, in addition to a dagger and spear? Who was the last president of the Soviet Union? What California city did the last Pony Express ride end in? Who was the first U.S. president to adopt the informal version of his first name? What was 11th-century Spanish military leader Rod-rigo Diaz de Vivar better know as? How many swings of the ax did Sir Walter Raleigh's executioner require?

ANSWERS: Gerald Ford; Gale; The Declaration of In-dependence; U.S. Air Force; Sacramento; A net; Mikail Gorbachev; Jimmy Carter; El Cid; Three.

Old and New Testaments This is from an elementary school where kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. (Unedited) * Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. * Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. * The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments. * The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. * Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol. * The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. * Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 por-cupines. * One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

7 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

obituaries Oct. 1 Margie Turpin Underwood, Harriman Cynthia Mae Butler, Westal Oct. 2 Carl “Gene” Scarbrough, Sr., Hixson Allison Nichole Cofer, Harriman Lloyd Lowe, Rockwood David Lee Inman, Rockwood Oct. 3 Nedra Bell Leffew, Harriman Zig Littleton, Dyllis Mary Helen Hicks Walden, Kingston Amelia Sky Massengale, Lancing Oct. 4 Shirley Gibson, Midtown Carolyn Cooper, Rockwood Oct. 6 Claude Wesley Davidson, Harriman Sarah Marlowe, Harriman Carrie Louise Sheldon, Oliver Springs Rody Patterson, Coalfield Oct. 7 Phyllis Martin Snodgrass, Rockwood Oct. 8 Scottie Lee Pride, Harriman Oct. 9 Jack P. West, Oliver Springs Oct. 10 Kristi Dawn Wolcott, Kingston Doris Gail Malicoat, Rockwood Barbara Davis McClendon, Rockwood Oct. 11 N. Sue Stout, Kingston Edna “Pauline” Kindred, Rockwood Roy "Red" Thacker, Oliver Springs Oct. 12 Joe Taylor, Kingston Oct. 13 David “Mans” Gilmore, Harriman Oct. 15 Ramona S. Condrone Hall, Harriman Luther Lands, Rockwood Oct. 16 Sandy Hamlett, Rockwood Oct. 17 Helen Lorene Todd, Oliver Springs Alvin Wayne Harris, Kingston Wanda Harwell, Harriman Oct. 18 Mr. Billy Jack Westmoreland, Harriman Oct. 19 Mr. Douglas Donald Ramme, Kingston Oct. 20 Buster Lyles, Harriman Oct. 22 Rosalie Dodson Kirkland, Rockwood Oct. 23 Ethel Mary Wyrick, Oliver Springs Clyde Edward Ashbrook, Rockwood Oct. 24 Robbie Lee Summers, Kingston Clarence Hill, Jr., Kingston Oct. 25 Betty Chapman Freels, Kingston Mr. James Edward Daly, Rockwood Oct. 26 Luther Allen Snow, Harriman Oct. 28 James Albert Jones, Oliver Springs Oct. 29 Johnnie Mack Mullins, Oakdale

803rd Civil Engineering Squadron Chapter I 12 Strategic Aerospace Division (SAC) Davis-Monthan AFB, Arizona 8 May 1967 - 31 July 1968 PETE SEMANICK The duty assignment at Davis-Monthan was a pleasant surprise for me. In my past assignments within the fire department, returning senior NCO’s were lucky to have a job as the top five positions (Fire Chief, Deputy Chief , 3 Assistance Chiefs) were civilian personnel. I learned that my job here would be Deputy Fire Chief, which meant that my past eighteen years experience would be fully utilized.

I soon discovered that much was needed to improve morale and to upgrade the department to a higher level of efficiency. My initial plans were to go along with the present system until I got a good feel for what actually was needed. This was a typical stateside department with “old timers” in charge. The Fire Chief, Lawrence Parker, had been in the department for 36 years having worked himself up through the ranks.

Most of his staff had also been in the fire service many years and were due to retire.

This was a very active air force installation and was one of the homes to the infamous U-2 Dragon (spy surveillance) aircraft.

The primary mission was the 4453rd Combat Crew Training Wing of F-4C Phantom aircraft for advanced training for combat ready pilts.

Eighteen Titan missile silos surrounded the base under the command of the 390th Strategic Missile Wing.

An F-106 Delta Dart detachment unit with constant 24-hour alert readiness was located at the far end of the flight line.

In addition, several C-130 Hercules in-flight drone carrying aircraft were located here .

But the big attraction was the nearby Material Air Command (now called The Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Group “AMARG”) aircraft storage area containing upwards of 5000-mothballed aircraft from all military, federal and NASA agenciesreferred to as the “bone yard”. Even though these aircraft were mothballed, if required due to an all out war effort, many of these planes could be placed back into service at a moment’s notice.

After my first tour of the base, the ubiquitous wooden WWII structures reminded me of Nellis AFB, but unlike Nellis we had few fires in these bone-dry facilities. Most occupancies such as commissary, base exchange, chapel, warehouses, headquarters, vehicle maintenance, etc. were housed in these older buildings, but right after I arrived several major new permanent building projects were started. It appeared D-M was going to be a major installation in the future. (Continued)

Forgot to buy turkey for Thanksgiving

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.

"Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."

"Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

"That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man.

The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.

"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"

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OUR READER’S JOKES

A woman walked into the doctor’s office, face beaten and bruised.

“What happened to you?” the doctor yelled.

“My husband beat me up! He beats me every day, what can I do to stop him doc?”

Without hesitation, the doctor said, “Sweet tea.”

“Sweet tea? She asked.

“Yes” he answered. “Everyday you must do this--as soon as your husband walks in the door, swallow a large sup of sweet tea. Swish it around in your mouth, gargle or whatever, but DO NOT swallow it or spit it out until he goes to bed.”

“Why, that crazy, how can sweet tea help me?” she asked.

“Just do it! And remember--don’t swallow it or spit it out.” he stressed.

After two weeks the woman showed up at the doctor’s office all refreshed and not a mark on her.

“Well, I see the sweet tea worked,” he said smiling.

“Yes doctor, but please explain to me how the sweet tea did it. She pleaded.

“Simple,” he answered, “See what happens when you keep your freaking mouth shut?” Mescal Nealy

Another goodie

A guy had a few friends around at his house one night and after a few hours one asks about the large gong sitting on top of his fireplace. The guy remarks that it was there when he moved in, but that it is a talking clock.

They ask how it works so he obliges to demonstrate. He picks up the large mallet next to the fireplace and hits the gong which lets out a loud ring... at which point a voice from next door yells "For Pete's sake, man, it's four thirty in the morning!"

Gene Harmon

Heard a good one lately?

E-mail it to us and we’ll put your name on it, too. zoningk@comcast.net or info@roanereader.com

Second term?

"Over the weekend, President Obama announced that he was running for a second term as president of the United States. There’s a brand-new campaign slogan — 'Give me four more years to find my birth certificate.'"

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Bible Beat

8 The Roane Reader

True or False?

No one would go in or out of the city of Jericho while the Israelites were camped at Gilgal. (Joshua 6:1) God told Joshua what to do to capture the city of Jericho. (Joshua 6:2-5) God wanted six priests to carry six trumpets in front of the ark of the covenant as the Israelites marched around Jericho. (Joshua 6:6) Joshua told the people to make lots of noise each time they marched around Jericho. (they were to be silent the first 6 days, and only to shout the 7th day when the priests blew the trumpets - Joshua 6:10) The walls of Jericho fell flat when the Israelites shouted after the priests blew the trumpets with a long blast.

(Joshua 6:20) The Israelites destroyed every-thing in the city of Jericho except Rahab and her family, and what Joshua told them to put into the treasury of the Lord. (Joshua 6:21) Rahab and her family were taken safely out of Jericho. (Joshua 6:23)

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Types of biblical prayers:

Confession Praise Thanksgiving Petition Intercession Commitment Forgiveness Confidence Benediction

          

Nov. 2011

(Psalm 51; Luke 18:10-24) (1 Chronicles 29:10-13; Luke 1:46-55) (Psalm 105:1-7; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) (Genesis 24:12-14; Acts 1:24-26) (Exodus 32:11-13; Philippians 1:9-11) (1 Kings 8:56-61; Acts 4:24-30) (Daniel 9:4-19; Acts 7:60) (Psalm 23; Luke 2:29-32) (Numbers 6:24-26; Jude 24)

Bible Trivia

James 4:14-15

14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. 15 For that ye ought to say, if the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.

How much time did Jonah spend in the belly of the whale?

Why did a Bible published in London in 1632 become known as the Wicked Bible?

The name of God is not mentioned in only one book of the Bible. Which one?

What kind of wood was used to make Noah's Ark? For what event in February 1964 did evangelist Billy Graham break his strict rule against watching TV on Sunday?

How old was Moses when he died?

How tall was Goliath, the Philistine giant slain by David with a stone hurled from a sling?

What biblical Babylonian king cast Daniel into the lion's den for praying to God in defiance of a royal decree?

What is the longest name in the Bible?

In the Bible, which of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse rides a red horse?

ANSWERS: Three days and three nights; Because "not" was missing from the seventh commandment, making it "Thou shalt commit adultery"; The Book of Esther; Gopher wood; The Beatles' first appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show"; 120 years old; "Six cubits and a span"; Darius the Mede; Mahershalal bashbaz; War.

God sent plagues to convince Pharoah to let His people go. It took 10 plagues before he let them leave. Unscramble the words below to see what the plagues were.

OBDLO _ _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 7:14-24) ANTGS _ _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 8:16-19) TSLVOIKCE _________ (EXODUS 9:1-7) LAHI _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 9:13-35) AKDENSRS _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 10:21-29)

GRSFO _ _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 8:1-15) SLEFI _ _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 8:20-32) OBLIS _ _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 9:1-7) OLTSCUS _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (EXODUS 10:1-18) ROFSBNIRT _________ (EXODUS 11:1-10)

VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISH TO MY WONDERFUL WIFE

STEPHANIE TRUAX STOUT FRI. NOV. 18TH

Bible verses for Thanksgiving 1 Chronicles 16:34 - 35 34. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.

35. And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise.

1 Chronicles 16:8 8. Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.

Psalm 50:14 14. Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: 2 Corinthians 9:11 & 15 11. Being enriched in everything to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanks-giving to God. 15. Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.

2 Samuel 22:50 50. Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name.

Revelation 7:12 12. Saying, Amen: Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanks-giving, and honour, and power, and might, be unto our God for ever and ever. Amen.

The Deck of Cards

Bible Beat

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'

'You see the Ace, Sarg. It reminds me that there’s only one God. The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

The Five is for the five virgins there were ten but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him. The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'

The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Write to us: The Roane Reader

501 Evergreen St Harriman, TN 37748 phone: 865-882-9340 email: info@roanereader.com

Bible Facts

The Bible contains 1189 chapters.

The Old Testament has 929 chapters and the New Testament has 260 chapters.

The longest chapter in the Bible is Psalm 119, and the shortest is Psalm 117.

The longest verse is Esther 8:9, and the shortest is John 11:35.

The Bible was written: over a 1500 year span (from 1400 B.C to A.D. 100) over 40 generations over 40 authors from many walks of life (kings, peasants, philosophers, poets, fishermen, statesmen, scholars) in different places (wild-erness, dungeon, palaces) different times (war, peace) in different moods (heights of joy, depths of despair) on three continents (Asia, Africa, and Europe) in three languages (Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek)

9 The Roane Reader

Bible Quest

1.)"Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian."

2.)"Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years."

3.)"I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire...."

4.)"If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread."

5.)"Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

6.)"Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

7.)"Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss."

8.)"Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw."

9.)"Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water" 10.)"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!"

NEED TO INCREASE YOUR SALES?

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5000 issues distributed into 4 counties

Answers to Bible Quest

1.)Acts 26:28 2.)Luke 1:18 3.)Matthew 3:11 4.)Matthew 4:3 5.)Matthew 4:19 6.)Luke 18:18 7.)Luke 23:4 8.)John 4:15 9.)Matthew 14:28 10.)Matthew 23:37

Nov. 2011

The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership.

Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr Harriman, Tn 37748. We welcome letters to the editor.

The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.

Subscriptions are available at $16 per year.

Co-owners/Publishers: Kay Christopher and Justin Stout

An Assisted Living Community 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 865-376-3030

10 The Roane Reader

Household Hints

COFFEE FILTERS 1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.

2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome... Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.

3. Protect China by separating good dishes with a coffee filter between each dish.

4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.

5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.

6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.

7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.

8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen. scale.

9. Hold tacos. They make convenient wrappers for messy foods.

10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.

11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke a hole in a coffee filter.

12. Think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters.

13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them.. It soaks out all the grease.

14. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."

15. As a sewing backing. Use a filter as an easy-to-tear backing for embroidering or appliquéing soft fabrics.

OH YEAH THEY ARE GREAT TO USE IN YOUR COFFEE MAKERS, TOO.

Nov. 2011

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes

Penny Pinchers Fireplace Soot Odor: To diminish and remove this odor, after you clean out the ashes, place a shallow pan of baking soda for a few hours or overnight in the fireplace.

Kitty Litter: To keep cat litter fresh smelling, mix baby powder in with the litter.

Remove the smell of cigarette from lingering in the room; put half teaspoon of baking powder in the ashtray, or keep a cup of vinegar in the room to absorb the odor.

To unclog a drain, mix 1 c. baking soda, 1 c. salt and 1 c. white vinegar. (It will fizz) Let it sit for 15 minutes then pour down clogged drain. Pour in several cups of boiling water.

Scuff marks on your vinyl luggage? Try rubbing lemon extract over the area.

Dingy or rusty gilt picture frames may be cleaned by simply washing them with a small sponge moistened with oil of turpentine or spirits of wine! Take care that the sponge does not become saturated. The sponge should be damp, not soaking. Gently wipe off the dirt and rust. DO NOT WIPE DRY. Let frames dry themselves. A method to clean gilt frames: Carefully dust the frame. Make a mixture of 1 ounce of baking soda and 3 egg whites. Beat well. Wash the frames with this mix. Touch up scrapes with gold paint.

HATTIE SHILLINGS

Rustic Veggie Pizza 3 Tbp. Ital. Vinaigrette Dressing 1 onion, cut in thin wedges 1 yellow pepper, cut in strips zucchini, halved, sliced crosswise 1 cup halved cherry tomatoes 1/3 cup olives, sliced 1 can refrigerated thin pizza crust 1 cup Mozzarella Cheese 4 oz. Crumbled Feta Cheese 1 cup baby arugula Heat oven to 425º. Heat 1 Tbsp. dressing in large skillet. Add onions; cook and stir on medium heat 5 min. or until crisp-tender.

Add peppers & zucchini; cook and stir 5 min. or until onions are golden brown and peppers are crisp. Remove from heat; stir in tomatoes and olives. Unroll pizza crust on baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray; pat into 14x10-½ inch rectangle. Fold over edges of dough to form ½ inch-wide rim. Bake 5 min. Brush with remaining dressing; top with vegetable mixture and cheeses. Bake 12-14 min. or until edges of crust are golden brown. Top with arugula.

Cold Pea Salad Recipe 16-oz frozen petite peas (unthawed) 6 oz almonds, rinsed, chopped ½ cup chopped green onions 8 oz chopped water chestnuts 2/3 cup mayonnaise 2 tsp yellow curry powder Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste Combine the frozen peas, green onions, almonds, and water chestnuts. Mix together the mayonnaise and curry powder in a separate bowl. Gently fold the mayonnaise mixture into peas. Add salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. Serves 6.

Maple Orange Glazed Carrots Recipe 1 lb carrots, peeled, sliced 2 Tbsp unsalted butter 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 cup maple syrup 1/3 cup orange juice 1/2 teaspoon orange zest Pinch cinnamon In a large, wide sauté pan, heat the butter on medium heat until melted. Add the carrots and toss to coat. Cook for 3-4 minutes, then add the maple syrup. Cook for a minute more, then add the orange juice. Cover the pan and cook for 3 more minutes. Uncover the pan and increase the heat to medium high. Stir the carrots occasionally, and cook until almost all of the liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat. Sprinkle cinnamon over the carrots, and stir in the orange zest.

Come to the F.C.E. Ideas Fair Thursday, Nov. 3rd, 9 am - 7pm Friday, Nov. 4th, 9 am - 3 pm

KINGSTON COMMUNITY CENTER

Come join us for food, fun and great decorating and gift ideas! Breakfast and lunch will be available on Thursday and Friday, with dinner on Thursday untill 6:30pm. Great homemade goodies with some $5 specials. Sales table, silent auction, door prizes, and tickets to win a quilt.

This annual event provides funds for the "Betty McGlasson FCE Scholarship", to Roane State Community College. This is awarded each year to a local graduating high school student.

Nov. 2011

"Life Lessons Learned"

11 The Roane Reader

"President Obama's approval ratings are By: Rita Webster so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of 1. Never open the refrigerator when you're bored. being born in the United States." –Jay Leno 2. When staying at a hotel or motel, don't accept a room next to the ice or vending machine.

"I think the next election just got a lot easier for President Obama 'cause his response to every question during the debates will be: 'Wait, I forget…Did you kill Osama Bin Laden? Or did I kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh no, it was me, wasn't it?'"

The Express Lane: I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I'm in a hurry. Don't be standing in front of me with a sign directly in front of you, saying: "Express Lane--10 items or less" and you have 1115-or 20 items in your buggy Clean a toilet. Drop in two and I have 10. Can you not read Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait or count? Which is it? twenty minutes, brush and Crying Baby In Church: flush. The citric acid and Mom/Dad/Whomever, please effervescent action clean take the squalling kid to the vitreous china. nursery! If your church doesn't Clean a vase. To remove a have one, take it outside until it stain from the bottom of a stops. If it doesn't, take it home. glass vase or cruet, fill with How do you expect me or others water and drop in two Alkain the congregation to enjoy the Seltzer tablets. sermon when WE CAN"T Polish jewelry. Drop two EVEN HEAR IT! Alka-Seltzer tablets into a The Passing Lane: If you're not glass of water and immerse the passing any cars, for Heaven's jewelry for two minutes. sake, move over to the right Clean a thermos bottle. Fill lane. Don't be going 45 mph for the bottle with water, drop in 10 miles in the fast lane. If four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and you're out for just a slow, lei- let soak for an hour (or longer, surely, scenic drive, Call A Cab if necessary). and get out of my way!

Cereal: I don't want to pay almost $4.00 for a box of cereal "President Obama said in and upon opening it, finding an interview over the that half the box is nothing but weekend that he really air. That is cheating! That is misses being anonymous. fraud! That is wrong!

He said, 'I miss Saturday Cigarette Smoke: You see me sitting, you see me smoking, mornings rolling out of bed and not shaving, going to DON'T sit downwind of me and the market...' Be careful then start coughing, rolling your eyes, flapping your hand in the what you wish for, 2012 is air. If my smoke is bothering just around the corner!" you, too bad--I was here firstJay Leno -MOVE!

Look what you can do with Alka Seltzer:

2012

Frosted Windows

Want to make your windows "frosted" for more privacy? Add 1 tablespoon of Epsom Salt to 1 cup beer.

Brush on the window! Let dry. To remove the frost, wash off with ammonia! Just remember to cover any wood or furniture nearby, because this drips!

3. Never go near a kid who's holding a water hose unless you want to get wet.

4. Never complain about the music in someone else's car when you're a passenger.

5. When reading self-help books, include the Bible.

6. Don't allow your children or grandchildren to call you by your first name.

7. Remember that regardless of where you are, not much good happens after midnight.

8. Kiss your children goodnight, even if they are already asleep.

9. If you are not going to use a discount coupon, leave it on the shelf with the product for someone else to use.

10.Cut your toenails in private.

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12 The Roane Reader

nov 2011

Sandra L. Stout

CROSSVILLE RACEWAY WWW.CROSSVILLERACEWAY.NET

2011 Points Champions

Sportsman Of The Decade

Mod Lite: David Appleyby #17t Street Stock: John Ross #9

In Memory Of Eddie Lemons

4-Runner: Dustin Benton #34 FWD: JD Rector #J27

SPRINT CUP CHASE FOR THE CUP

NASCAR

Late Model: Reuben Mayfield #00

officials stopped practice due to a WARTBURGSPEEDWAY.NET Final 2011Point Standings loud, Open Wheel Modified Modified Mini 1.AJ Garber 274 1.Darren Goins 252 annoying, whining 2.Matthew Hopper 248 2.Brian Frost 222 3.Ricky Tinch 226 3.Logan Adcock 186 sound when the 4.Amos Bunch 214 4.Tom Vann 186 5.Billy Palmer 118 5.Tim Ladd 158 cars went past; 6.Jeff Hamby Jr. 82 6.Mikey Roberts 118 practice was 7.Shane Stockton 64 7.Nick Peterson 114 8.Keith Longmire 40 8.David Runyan 94 resumed when 9.Joey Cotterman 36 9.Lance Frost 78 10.Mike Freeman 34 10.Dustin Hamby 48 they discovered 11.John Stout 40 Late Model it was just 1.Dan Tipton 292 Street Stock 2.Anthony White 282 1.Drew Kennedy 330 Kyle Busch.

3.Jason Manley 210 2.Joe Freels 270 WARTBURG SPEEDWAY

3.DJ McMahan 260 4.Reagan Williams 180 5.Matthew Dagley 116 6.Michael Brashears 82 7.Ernest Cox 50 8.Billy Asbury 40 9.Raymond Shepard 34 10.Alan Walker 26 Sportsman/Modified Street 1.Ted Lowe 324 2.Jimmy York 262 3.Chuck Freels 198 4.Tony Rutherford 148 5.Gary Freeman 140 6.Tyler Ellis 82 7.Mike Freeman 46 8.Bobby White 42 9.Skylar Douglas 28 10.Benny Duncan 26

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tracy Stout Friday, October 21 ·

4.Brian Hooks 150 5.Chris Marcum 126 6.Dustin Diden 94 7.Darrick York 94 8.Jesse Lowe 82 9.Drew Kennedy 76 10.Jeff Adkisson 68

DATE Sun, Sep 18 Noon ET

RACE

TV

GEICO 400 at Chicago Chicagoland Speedway *This race has been rescheduled to run on 09/19/2011 12:00 PM ET

Sun, Sep 25 2:00 PM ET

Sylvania 300 at New Hampshire New Hampshire Motor Speedway

Sun, Oct 2 2:00 PM ET

NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Dover Dover International Speedway

Sun, Oct 9 2:00 PM ET

NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Kansas pres. by Dodge Kansas Speedway

Sat, Oct 15 7:30 PM ET

Bank of America 500 at Charlotte Charlotte Motor Speedway

Sun, Oct 23 2:00 PM ET

NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Talladega Talladega Superspeedway

Sun, Oct 30 2:00 PM ET

NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Martinsville Martinsville Speedway

Sun, Nov 6 3:00 PM ET

NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Texas Texas Motor Speedway

Sun, Nov 13 3:00 PM ET

Kobalt Tools 500 at Phoenix Phoenix International Raceway

MY WIFE SAID Sun, Nov 20 Ford 400 at Homestead-Miami Homestead-Miami Speedway IF I DONT GIVE 3:00 PM ET The cost of racing hasn't increased in 30 years.

UP RACING Back then, it took everything you had. And it still does.

SHE'S LEAVING. Get the most out of GOD, ILL MISS your Advertising Dollor HER...

Extreme 1.David Hall Jr. 262 2.Daniel Sizemore 238 3.Joey Reynolds 174 4.Kenny May 170 5.Charles Tanner 162 6.Derek Diden 134 7.JR Kittrell 112 8.Chris Singleton 106 9.Sammy Reynolds 94 10.Anthony Singleton 92 Thunder 1.Bucky Nance 358 2.Casey Crane 242 3.DJ Shannon 212 4.Skylar Douglas 148 5.Joe Roberts 96 6.Charlie Godsey 86 7.Todd Duncan 60 8.Jeremy Shannon 58 9.McKenzie White 48 10.Doug Johnson 40

"Sports Man of the decade. The highest honor you can get in racing. That is something else". This was spoke from the family after Eddie Lemons received this honer from Spring City Speedway. "J.C.Woody, his daughter Malesa, and the new operator Tim Kyle.

They took 10 min & 10 dollars & made a big deal out of our brother. Not all tracks do that." said sister Sally Lemons. Also the #55 car driven by David Runyan gave Eddie their winning trophy.

The family was very appreciative of the honer he received and so was Eddie. Eddie was a lover of the sport and so many people felt the same way about him.

RACING....

BECAUSE FOOTBALL, BASEBALL, BASKETBALL,

Go with the cheapest and highest quality advertising around!!!

TENNIS AND

The Roane Reader

SOCCER ONLY

info@roanereader.com

REQUIRE ONE BALL.

click or call

(865) 882-9340

call jeremy for all your custom needs (865) 285-9152 Accessories, Suspension, Tuning, Audio

1205 S. ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN

13 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

Gabbin' With Glander Glander McForny for President: Part 1

by Jerry Lemons It was a balmy fall day so I thought I would take a little walk. I strolled down the Emory Gap Road to Glander's gas station, and I saw the big sign that for some reason always produced a chuckle in me. The sign read: Glander's Full Service Station--Service With a Big Grin.

But then I noticed another sign further down that made me stop in my tracks. It said "Glander McForny for President--A Chicken in Every Pot and a Pig in Every Poke."

I saw Glander's two sons, Merlin and Solomon, working their buns off at the pumps, checking oil, pumping gas and cleaning windshields. I noticed Glander at his "supervising post," sprawled back on an old car seat in front of the station. He was enjoying the Indian summer we were having. He was dressed in Bermuda shorts, an Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, and sandals.

"Hey, Sour," he called out to me. I walked over to him and he said "Have a seat--take a load off."

I sat down beside him and motioned toward Solomon and Merlin. "Busy day today," Glander gave a little grin and said "Yap. I've had a right smart good spell of business lately."

I nodded toward the sign and said "Are you really going to run for President?"

Glander shifted the quid in his mouth and spat. "Yap." "What made you decide to do that?" I asked.

"The condition of 'is country," he replied. "It's gone from bad to worse. Somethin's gotta be done about it, or we ain't ain't gonna have no country."

"There seems to be quite a number of people running for President though," I said. "And how are you going to get the word out. And it takes money too--to run for President."

"Most of those people runnin' for President will fall out of the race 'tween now and New Year's," Glander replied. "As for gettin' the word out, I'm gonna depend on word of mouth and, whatyemaycallit, bein' a grass roots sorta candi-date. I figure the money part of runnin' will more or less take care of itself if you can become a grass roots sorta candi-date. Also, there's this: If I can become a, whatyemaycallit, legitimate candidate, I'll be in the runnin' to be comp-pensated by the govuhmunt --which is why becoming known is so important."

Glander chewed on his cud and was silent for a moment. Then he said, seriously, as if he was instructing a student in school, "You see, the Fedrul Govuhmunt gives each candi-date for President a whole bunch of money if they can show they're a serious candi-date and has a lot of support."

"Well, good luck to you with it," I said. "I think it'll take an awful lot of work though."

"I got Solomon and Merlin, 'ere, who can help take care of the station," Glander answered.

"But you've really got to get the word out of the county, into the state, and in to the country," I said.

"No problem," he replied. "I can do it. I can get a lotta help. And I can get a lotta en-dorsements. I already got The Roane Reader to en-dorse me."

"That'll help a lot," I said. "You've got to be able to get the word out."

"I know," Glander said. He moved his head and took aim and spat at an oil can about thirty feet away.

He hit it squarely.

I saw Merlin bopping over from the gas pumps and heading toward the drink machine.

"Where you goin'?" Glander called out.

"Gonna get me a pop," Merlin sniggered out a "hehehe." He reached the drink machine and rummaged in his pocket, and then he asked Glander "You got any change, Daddy, I'm broke."

Glander looked in disbelief at Merlin for a few seconds, and then said "What'd you need change for?

Go in 'ere and get a pop from the fridgedaire. We got a whole case of 'em in 'ere. And while you're at it, get me and Sour here a cold pop."

"Okay," Merlin replied. "I didn't think of that."

"Think of what?" Merlin asked, "That we had a whole case of pops in the fridgedaire," Merlin answered.

"You put 'em in 'ere yourself 'is mornin'," Glander said in exasperation. "You oughta remember 'at."

Merlin pursed his lips and then nodded his head. "Hmm, yeah, so I did." Then he gave out a weak grin and a "hehehe. I guess I forgot."

Glander dropped his shoulders and gave out a sigh as Merlin went into the station . "Sometimes I don't know 'bout that boy," he said. "He's lacking somethin' but I don't know what it is. But I do know this: Whatever it is he's lacking, it didn't come from my side of the family."

To be continued....

 Veterans Day was once called Armistice Day. Armistice Day was created to honor veterans of World War I.  November 11, 1919 was the first day Armistice Day was celebrated.  Germany signed the armistice slowing the hostilities of WW1 in the 11th month, on the 11th day, during the 11th hour.  November 11 is both a federal and state holiday.  June 1, 1954 was when the United States changed the name to Veterans Day, honoring all military veterans.  Between 1971 and 1977 Veterans Day was celebrated on the fourth Monday of October.  Arlington National Cemetery has a ceremony every year on Veterans Day honoring those who died during war.  There are roughly 24 million living veterans.  During World War II Disney made films for each branch of the United States government.  400,000 of the United States Armed Forces died during WWII. This year Veteran’s Day will be celebrated on 11/11/11.

FIGHT MOSQUITOS

 OK, mosquitos...prepare to be repelled!!!!!

Use Fabric Softener Sheets, just wipe on & go...Great for Babies  Try taking one vitamin B-1 tablet a day April through October. The odor the tablet gives out through your skin (YOU can not smell it) repels mosquitoes, black flies, and gnat's. It does not work on stinging insects.  One of the best insect repellents is Vick's Vaporub.  Plant marigolds around the yard, the flowers give off a smell that bugs do not like, so plant some in that garden also to help ward off bugs without using insecticides.  "Tough guy" Marines who spend a great deal of time "camping out" say that the very best mosquito repellent you can use is Avon Skin-So-Soft bath oil mixed about half and half with alcohol.  One of the best natural insect repellents is made from the clear real vanilla (not the grocery store vanilla extract which is mostly alcohol).

This is the pure vanilla that is sold in Mexico. It's cheap there if you know of someone that lives there or in the US close to the border. If not, health food stores usually carry it or can order it for you. Use it half vanilla and half water. I works great for mosquitoes and ticks.  When all else fails--get a frog.

HUGH RUSSELL MOTORS LLC

* CARS * TRUCKS * TRACTORS * VANS * SPORT UTILITIES * EQUIPMENT * CARPORTS * “where customers send their friends” 1007 Ruritan Rd. Phone 865-882-1165 Located 300 feet north of the red light at the intersection of Pine Ridge Rd & Ruritan Rd in So. Harriman

14 The Roane Reader

The Unknown Veteran

Rockwood Memories

by RAY COLLETT

I moved to Rockwood when I was around 5 years old. Moving to the Eureka community, my two friends were Tommy Long and Bobby Dodd. I still see Tommy often and Bobby visits Rockwood on occasion and when those two get together, their stories are really entertaining. I would like to share this one with the readers.

Tommy and Bobby were living in Eureka and were probably twelve years old or so and loved to sneak out of their houses at night and go bike riding to the lake. Jimmy Hall lived nearby and was a couple of years younger. He always wanted to join them, so plans were made one evening to sneak out and go swimming. About midnight, or one in the morning, Tommy and Bobby left their house and rode to Jimmy Hall's place. Slipping into the house to awaken Jimmy, Bobby pulled his shoes off in the kitchen. They crept into Jimmy's bedroom. What they didn't know was that Mrs. Hall, (Jimmy's mother) had switched bedrooms with her son. Bobby crept up to the bed and shook what he thought was Jimmy's shoulder. When Mrs. Hall raised up, it scared Bobby and Tommy too and they ran through the kitchen tripping over Jimmy's bike that was in the room. While outside, Bobby realized he had left his shoes inside and went back in to get them. While back inside the dark house , and if you knew Bobby, he was dark complexioned and hard to recognize in the dark. Mrs. Hall thought she was being attacked and screamed out for her husband Winfred. He wasn't home that night or he might have shot someone. By this time, Bobby and Tommy were outside and Mrs. Roxie McClendon lived nearby. Howard Butler heard the commotion and came outside and joined the boys. Mrs. McClendon went to check on the Butler triplets and saw Harold was gone. " O Lord, they have kidnapped Harold," she screamed. Running up a hill, an outhouse was nearby. Into the outhouse the boys ran, but it was already occupied by a woman who almost fainted. The boys hid in some nearby pine trees and finished watching all of the commotion below. That must have been quite an evening. I am sure that I will have more tales from the Eureka gang in issues to come.

Thanks to the Roane Reader for letting me share my "Rockwood Memories.' These are taken from my books "Rockwood Memories" Vol. l and Vol.ll. For a copy of Vol. ll please call me at 354-7680 or email me at rcol110479@aol.com . Ten bucks and add two dollars for postage and I will mail one to you. Great Christmas gifts.

Nov. 2011

I came from every state in the union, from big metropolitan cities, and from small town, hamlets and farms. Sometimes I was a volunteer, joining when I was barely seventeen; sometimes I was drafted, married with a family. I was frightened and nervous; I didn't want to go; and it was very hard to leave my home and everyone I knew.

But when my country called, I went. I didn't shirk the call or dodge the draft. In the end it wasn't a question of whether my country was wrong or right; in the end I didn't have to search my soul to know if I should run away or fight. In the end my country called me, so I went.

I didn't go to fight for the government; the government is not the country. I didn't go to fight for the flag; the flag is not the country. I went because my country needed me; it's as simple as that.

I am the unknown veteran. Myriad times I stood guard all night in the cold wind, the rain, the snow; myriad times I ached with loneliness thinking of my family and my home.

I saw many of my fellow soldiers fall in the swamps, the cratered fields, the jungles, and the sand.. I heard their cries of agony, their groans of pain.

Myriad of times I was wounded and lay for hours on the red-stained ground. I bled in the mud; I died many times.

I flew, I sailed, I hit the beaches, I was shot at in the the jungles; I fought hand-to-hand in places whose names I couldn't even pronounce. In places such as Chateau-Thierry, Iwo Jima, Pyongyang; in places with funny names such as Old Baldy and Hamburger Hill; in places with horrible names such as The Devil's Den and Heartbreak Ridge.

I am the unknown veteran; and in the end, it's easy to live without thankfulness or sacrifice in the freest, richest, and best country the world's ever known; in the end it's easy to think of November 11 as just another paid holiday for government employees; in the end it's easy to jeer & mock this country and all it stands for. And in the end it's easy to forget the ones who served and fought, bled and died.

I am the unknown veteran; and though you don't recognize me, you see me every day, on the big city street, in the small town and hamlet, and on the farm. I am a person not prone to bragging or lying, not given to making excuses or running away. I didn't shirk the call or dodge the draft. In the end I answered the call for one reason: my country needed me; it's as simple as that.

"Obama achieved the same kind of compromise with the Republicans that Custer reached with Sitting Bull." "The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden State Senator

Ken Yager’s ANNUAL CHILI SUPPER & silent auction

Friday, Nov. 18th 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. $5.00 per person/preschoolers free

Roane State Community College Main Campus

Proceeds from Silent Auction will go to The United Way

I HATE YOU!

You took life's air out of her so she would have to fight to breath, you took her legs out from under her so she couldn't do the things she liked doing, & her pride, you said she won’t be needing that.

You have made our family cry from their souls. You made us pray for things that were very hard to pray for. You have put her in unstoppable pain.

Praying is the only tool we can use to fight you. GOD doesn't always grant us what we pray for, but He does hear us.

When I had to pray for her pain to stop and not pray for her to get better, it made me hate you even more.

CANCER kills way too many people, but until you see it take a loved one and no way to stop it, well, there are no words to say, JUST PRAY.

they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship."

2 ‘Everybody needs CASH BEFORE payday’ Come by and see Tiffany

WE ALWAYS WELCOME NEW CUSTOMERS! 1251 S. ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN 37748

865-590-0819

Nov. 2011

Fun & Facts for kids only Simple Science Projects

This information may come in handy some day

■ The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

■ A raisin dropped in a fresh glass of soda Mixing Oil and Water will bounce up and down continually Some things just don't get along well with each other. Take oil and from the of the glass to the top. water as an example, you can mix them together and shake as 40% of McDonald's profits come from ■ hard as you like but they'll never become friends...or will they? the sales of Happy Meals.

You’ll need: A 2x4 board is actually 1-1/2" x 3-1/2".

■ Small plastic drink bottle Water Every person has a unique tongue print.

■ Food coloring 2 tablespoons cooking oil The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its ■ Dish washing liquid or detergent inventor who had red eyes. He was an Add a few drops of food coloring to the water. Pour about 2 table-spoons of albino. the colored water along with the 2 tablespoons of cooking oil into the small 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary ■ soft drink bottle. Screw the lid on tight and shake the bottle as hard as you can. were misspelled.

Put the bottle back down and have a look, it may have seemed as though the During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a ■ liquids were mixing together but the oil will float back to the top. small red car can be seen in the distance.

While water often mixes with other liquids to form solutions, oil and water Chocolate kills dogs! Chocolate affects a ■ does not. Water molecules are strongly attracted to each other, this is the same dog's heart and nervous system. A few for oil, because they are more attracted to their own molecules they just don't ounces is enough to kill a small sized mix together. They separate and the oil floats above the water because it has a dog. lower density.

Playing cards were issued to British ■ If you really think oil and water belong together then try adding some dish pilots in WWII. If they were captured, washing liquid or detergent. Detergent is attracted to both water and oil helping the cards could be soaked in water and them join together and form something called an emulsion. This is extra handy unfolded to reveal a map for escape. when washing those greasy dishes, the detergent takes the oil and grime off the Most lipstick contains fish scales.

■ plates and into the water!

■ Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

■ Leonardo da Vinci could write with one Q: What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? hand and draw with the other at the same A: If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy! time Q: How can you tell a male turkey from a female turkey?

■ American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 A: The male is the one holding the remote control. by eliminating one olive from each salad Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on served in first class.

Thanksgiving," Ella, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

■ There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with the words orange, purple, or silver, or month.

■ The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

■ There are four cars and eleven lightposts on the back of a $10 dollar bill.

■ If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and look like it is stinging itself to death.

Thanksgiving funnies

1403 Ruritan Road H a r r i m a n , TN

Bank & Credit Union Financing Available See Larry Ward or Will Mattox (865) 882-6462

15 The Roane Reader

How to ruin someone's Thanksgiving Dinner

During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

Bring along old recorded football games and pop them in the VCR when dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game when he comes into the room, turn off the VCR, and then turn on the regular TV. When everyone begins to eat, loudly announce that you just found a hair in the potatoes.

Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms. Request that she bring photos.

Astronomy for amateurs

The Sun is over 300000 times larger than earth Halley’s Comet was last seen in the inner Solar System in 1986, it will be visible again from Earth sometime in 2061 Venus is the hottest planet in our solar system with a surface temperature of over 450 degrees Celsius.

Many scientists believe that an asteroid impact caused the extinction of the dinosaurs around 65 million years ago.

The Solar System formed around 4.6 billion years ago.

The Moon appears to have more craters and scars than Earth because it has a lot less natural activity going on, the Earth is constantly reforming its surface through earthquakes, erosion, rain, wind and plants growing on the surface, while the moon has very little weather to alter its appearance.

Saturn isn't the only ringed planet, other gas giants such as Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune also have rings, they are just less obvious.

Footprints and tyre tracks left behind by astronauts on the moon will stay there forever as there is no wind to blow them away.

In 2006, astronomers changed the definition of a planet. This means that Pluto is now referred to as a dwarf planet.

Because of lower gravity, a person who weighs 100kg on earth would only weigh 38kg on the surface of Mars.

The only planet that rotates on its side like a barrel is Uranus.

The only planet that spins backwards relative to the others is Venus.

Check out our online version in full color with interactive links and media!! www.roanereader.com

Glenda Johnson Broker/Realtor, ABR, GRI, CTG, ITI

865-591-6900

Office: 865-376-2121 Ext. 102

Glenda6900@bellsouth.net

Jim Henry & Assoc.

410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston Kingston, TN 37763

LOGS TO LUMBER AT YOUR SITE! Using a Wood Miser Portable Sawmill Columbus Dr. Lenoir City 865-986-4264

16 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

Two Things You Must Do to be a Successful Investor: Number One…. Don’t Lose Money!

Number Two…Don’t Ever Forget Number One!!

The past decade was a tumultuous one during which we suffered through TWO devastating market crashes. There were some very weak signs that a recovery was eminent. Now we all can see that financial stability is anything but certain as government spending soars, unemployment remains stubbornly high, food and energy prices are increasing.

Our government is more interested in playing politics then saving our country. Big government has become a huge, expensively bloated, bureaucracy that blocks employment by over burdening small businesses with unreasonable regulations and taxation... The first step to a real recovery should be to reduce the size of this behemoth. Instead of using scare tactics on the elderly and military the politician's should concentrate on downsizing all non-essential government agencies and departments as well as bringing the military home from unnecessary, expensive wars. Our government doesn’t want to make tough decisions concerning the necessary reductions. All the politician's want to do is tax the hard working citizens more and spend more on extravagant, useless pet programs and agencies!

All of the above has a very deleterious effect on your savings, investments and future retirement years.

Let’s look at the real facts about the stock market The S&P 500 ended the past decade down almost 25 percent below where it was ten years earlier. And that didn’t even factor in the 29% inflation we experienced during the decade.

In fact, since the end of 1999, the S&P 500 stock index has lost an average of 3.3% a year, on an inflation-adjusted basis, even after including dividends, according to the data compiled by Charles Jones, finance professor at North Carolina State University.

So what does that mean to the typical family in dollars and cents?

You may want to grab a bottle of Valium because it isn’t pleasant! Here’s what inflation and negative returns have done to a nest egg invested in an S&P 500 index fund (the way most Americans 401(k),403(b),IRA and other retirement funds are), over the past decade…

You now need a 39.9% increase just to get back to where you were ten years ago!

Even if we do see that kind of increase, it would only take you back to dollars worth what they were ten years ago, so you’d need another 29% increase just to break even!

The Idea of Having a Comfortable, Worry-Free Retirement Has Become a Distant Dream for Many. Even for those who did “all the right things” that Wall Street and the financial gurus’ propaganda outlets told them to do. How quickly we forget that today’s hot investment or mutual fund is almost always tomorrow’s loser.

Don’t’ Lose Money!

While the “experts” lamented that there was “no place to hide” during the financial crisis, none of the hundreds of thousands of people who use Special guaranteed Index Products lost a penny in their plans when the stock and real estate markets crashed.

Their plans NEVER lost money as both their principal and gains not only remained intact, but also continued growing by a guaranteed and predictable amount.

Oh what a difference it makes when both your principal and gains are guaranteed and never go down with the market… while you’re getting compounded, guaranteed growth on a larger amount of money every single year!

Cold Water Cleaning

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them.

Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV the old man shouted ..."COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!

DRY A &

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Two Things You Must Do to be a Successful Investor: Number One…. Don’t Lose Money!

Number Two…Don’t Ever Forget Number One!!

Can you imagine what it would feel like if you’ve been sweating away at a job you can’t stand so you could put money away for your financial future… only to see your hard-earned dollars vanish?

Can You Afford to Lose More Money and Another Decade?

Wall Street and the financial “gurus” are still pitching the same saving and investing strategies that got us into the trouble we were in previously and where we are stuck, suffering today!

For hundreds of thousands of families who use Equity Index Products, their nest-eggs all remained intact – and have continued growing. Safely, consistently, and predictably. The fact of the matter is you don’t have to take market risks to achieve wealth and financial security!

Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates a financial services firm licensed and regulated in 31 states. Residents of Roane County are invited to spend an hour with Bob to discuss their current concerns about low interest rates and their plans for future income in retirement. Call 376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700 to take advantage of a free consultation concerning your past, present and future.

Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates a financial services firm licensed and regulated in 31 states. Residents of Roane County are invited to spend an hour with Bob to discuss their current concerns about low interest rates, high taxes and their plans for future income in retirement.

Call (865) 376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700 to take advantage of a free consultation concerning your past, present and future.

17 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

The Roane Reader proudly presents THE WRITER'S PAGE

Don’t tell me…

Don’t tell me not to cry for her, She wouldn’t want me sad.

But how can I not weep for her-the best friend I ever had?

I. When we get displeased and disappointed with our lives,

Don’t tell me she’s in a better place, And she’s walking with the Lord.

My heart is broken and can’t be healed Without her in my world.

III. Sin takes you farther than you expected to go

Don’t tell me that she’s better off, Than being here on Earth.

I selfishly want to see her face; Since I realize what she’s worth.

Don’t tell me she’s not suffering Like when she was alive.

Why couldn’t the pain just simply leave And let her live her life?

Don’t tell me you know how I feel You haven’t got a clue.

Until you can feel what’s in my heart, You don’t know the hurt I knew.

Don’t tell me not to grieve for her, I’ll see her in the sky.

But I want to be with her today, Why did she have to die?

Kay Christopher

SUBSCRIBE

We will mail you a copy of The Roane Reader each month for a year for only $16.

Send us your address and a check to: The Roane Reader 197 Shady Dr. Harriman, TN 37748

To Do List from God

Words of Wisdom

I ran my life in search of worldly things, My time and will were firmly in control.

then sometimes turn against others and start criticizing them!

II. When once we let the devil start his works in our lives, then we aren’t really living, but just existing! and harder to get back!

IV. Only God has the power to keep us on our road to Heaven!

V. Are you a Christian and doing God’s will?

Well, why don’t you start influencing your family and friends so they too will accept God into their lives!

Elsie Wyrick

Birthdays Wishes For November 1st - Danny Shillings 7th - Donna Roberts 14th - Cecilia Sandifer 16th - Jane Rummel 24th - Rita Webster 25th - Michael Berry

IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR WRITINGS ON THIS PAGE

In thought I had no need for what God brings, I gave no need to murmurs from my soul.

“You’re planning, doing all the time” it said, “But something else is missing deep inside.

Your mind is whirling, but your heart is dead.”

So, turn to God and let go of your pride.

I did, and God said, “Here’s my plan for you; Give your life to me, and just let go.”

“Have faith and pray, and read the Bible through, And you’ll have blessings more than you can know.”

So simple, yet it brings me perfect peace, living for God the way I should, Direction, purpose, fullness and release-Living with God is very, very good.

Judy Reid

S.L. BOWMAN & SONS, INC. MAYO SEEDS CLEANING UP? GARDEN SUPPLIES WE HAVE DUMBPSTER RENTALS AVAILABLE & EQUIPMENT WE HAVE

EMAIL US:

INFO@ROANEREADER.COM

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521 N. FRONT ST. ROCKWOOD, TN (865) 354-0600

18 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

aquarius

pisces

Your intuition could be high as you get sources of person-al inspiration toward what you wish in life and this could cause you tension in spite of a positive outlook toward your future in the matter of income and goals.

Many things you are going through in life are guiding you toward being a better person, and this will rebound you toward an improvement with your resources.

Your area of shared income and resources is in the spotlight. There is much pos-itive activity happening in this area of your life in spite of you focusing on your personal limitations. Most of these limitations could very well be self-imposed. Your thoughts are involved in try-ing to resolve all of the ob-stacles that you face con-nected to your fondest hopes and wishes.

January 21-Febuary18 Febuary 19-March 20

Cancer

June 22-July 23 You will be spending much of your time at your favorite place, your home, as much activity seems to be surrounding this area of your life.

Perhaps you are putting all your thought and energy into improving your sur-roundings. Your joint sources of income figure prominently into these plans, but guard yourself from any illusory ideas that might not be at all practical.

leo

July 24-August 22 Communication is certainly the key word for you this month. You could be making many plans together with your mate or partner and you are putting much illusion into this. Reality could teach you something very useful as your area of joint financial income is going through many changes.

aries

May 21-June 21

Matters concerning your area of marriage and love are spotlighted for you this month. There are many ac-tivities connected to this area and happenings with your social activities. There could be some charity giving in-volving these activities. Your area of work could be im-proving in spite of all your worries especially when you get involved in social hap-penings.

This month seems to bring activities at your work as extra work could be there for you. This could bring a positive outcome for you providing you do not let yourself see only what you wish to see as deception could be involved here. You still have restrict-ions and extra responsibilities you have to face with faith as you could be learning a hard emotional lesson here.

Your creative talent and abilities will bring to you a better outlook on the future as very lucky circumstances are surrounding this for you. There are some worries and concerns that you are receiving from your home base that are well founded as you need to look at things in your life with a clear mind and not to jump to con-clusions.

Virgo

libra

Scorpio

Your area of personal income and possessions is in the limelight for you this month. There is much activity in this area connected to your work place. There seems to be some confusion at your work area but you should be able to work things out to your advantage. You seem to worry about the way you present yourself to other coworkers, but this is just unfounded.

Your area of personal income and possessions is in the limelight for you this month. There is much activity in this area connected to your work place. There seems to be some confusion at your work area but you should be able to work things out to your advantage. You seem to worry about the way you present yourself to other coworkers, but this is just unfounded.

There will be many behind the scenes happenings for you this month. There seems to be some confusion at your home place connected to some restrictions that you have in the way to reach your highest hopes and wishes in your life. You need to have some very fast reorientation that could come to you in a very unique way.

August 23-September 23 September 24-October23 October 24-November22

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Sagittarius

November 22-December 21

There is a strong possibility that your life will be involved with lots of social activities this month. There could be some confusion with some of these activities, so you should be extra careful when you com-municate DOWNTOWN EMORY GAP concerning these activities as you might not get all the facts right and this could cause you some mental anxiety.

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Gemini

April 20-May 20

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Taurus

March 21-April 19

“Everything else is negotiable” Thought: Why does congress have to pass a jobs bill to create jobs? Have we not paid taxes for decades to build and maintain roadways and infrastructure? I guess that escrow account is empty too.

Maybe somebody lied?

capricorn

December 22-January Your area of business is in the spotlight for you. There is action in you life aiming toward fulfilling your de-sires in life. There is gla-mour connected toward your personal income as some perks could be added to it. You are experiencing some personal tension as your thoughts could take you into seeing things that could hurt you in the long run.

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19 The Roane Reader

Nov. 2011

AUTUMN OUTDOORS DECORATING

Gather pinecones, seedpods, acorns and fall leaves to put in wicker baskets. Use these on the porch or in entry ways for simple, rustic decorations. You can also use small branches with the pinecones and/or leaves still attached and place them in vases and crocks. Potted mums this time of year are the same prices as cut flowers, or cheaper, so why not buy several, pot them up and place them around your walks, steps and porch. Tie autumn themed ribbons around the base of the pots. If you have room plant them in the ground after the blooms are gone and lay down some mulch (grass clippings or chopped leaves) for the winter. Go for a rustic but yet dramatic look by placing a large grapevine wreath in an empty space such as the peak of the garage or the house. You don't need a bow for fall, and at Christmas you can attach a large red bow. It's simple, but adds so much! Pumpkins and Gourds Galore! Put them everywhere. Try to find a grower or farm market instead of buying them at the garden center or store. You'll find some great buys on the "less" than perfect ones, but they are still great for decorating. You can buy small and medium sized pumpkins for 50 cents to $1 each year. Also, buy gourds in groups...place some on upside down pots to raise them up to different levels in a grouping. Mix a mum or two in with them, and tie a few bows all around! Winter Squash--Look for Hubbard and Turban squash. They have an interesting texture and a neat look to them. Decorate the porch, but don't allow them to freeze, and afterwards you can eat them for Sunday and holiday dinners! Group them in a large wicker basket. Garland-Make a garland of smaller gourds with the long necks and Indian corn still in the husk. Use jute or twine and alternate between corn and the gourds. Measure a section of your porch. If you have arches, hang garlands in each one. In the middle of the garland make a bow from raffia and pieces of torn rust or orange colored fabric. You can also hang the garland from a porch or deck railing. Rustic Scarecrow: Instead of stuffing clothing, take two pieces of scrap wood and nail together a cross formation. Take a piece of muslin and place it over the top piece of woodtie it at the "neck" and draw on a face with a waterproof marker. Dress your wooden friend in clothing, a hat and you can even put hooks on the end of each "arm" and hang buckets of flowers, a birdhouse or other fun items. Turn your scarecrow into a country lady by dressing her in woman's clothing and giving her a gardening hat, gloves, and small garden tools. The great thing with this is that you literally can use scrap wood and old clothing, and go wild with your imagination! Tin Can Fun: Save those cans! Prime them and go to town painting them in fun fall colors. You can plant mums in the larger coffee type cans and in the others place wildflowers, dried grasses and branches to decorate outside. Milk Cans: If you have any old worn rakes, shovels and other lawn tools laying around, put them to a decorative use. Place a couple of cornstalks in an old metal milk can, behind the tools, and tie a big fall themed bow around the milk can! You can do this with a large bucket or basket too.

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