May 2013

20 Roane Reader facebook.com/roanereader

501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748

th ry a s r e v i Ann

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VOLUME 20

MAY 2013

Mothers Day Sunday May 12th 2013

"M" is for the million things she gave me, "O" means only that she's growing old, "T" is for the tears she shed to save me, "H" is for her heart of purest gold; "E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining, "R" means right, and right she'll always be,

NUMBER 7

Established 1993

7,000

Distributed

Growing up in Harriman ......... 14

By Pete Semanick

Precious Memories .................. 2

By Kay Christopher

Round Racin' ............................. 10 Racing news or views

Bible Beat ............................... 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts

Seen and Heard ........................... 2 By our readers

Entertainment ............................. 3 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes

Writer's Page ............................. 17 Our readers submitted writings

Aunt Hattie ................................ 12 Hurry-up recipes

According to the Almanac .......... 4 When to do what

Mother, Interrupted .................. 25

By Debra Carpenter

Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER," A word that means the world to me.

Obituaries .............................. 6 & 7 Monthly

Fun & Facts for Kids only ........ 16 And Adults

Can You Find Me多 .................... 20

By The Phantom

FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER @

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Pick one up before they are all gone!

Rockwood Memories ................ 15

By Ray Collet

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2 The Roane Reader SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY

By O.I. Seenya ● The Kingston City Fire Department, making a little boy's dream come true by giving him a ride in the big, red fire truck. They even turned the siren on for him. He was so excited ! ● A lady in one of our local shops, bumping into someone, and apologizing only to realize it was a mannequin.

School Excuse Notes 1. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

2. Please excuse Emma for being absent. She had flue so I had her shot.

3. Please excuse Eddie from P.E. Yesterday he fell out of a sycamore tree and misplaced his hip.

4. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, Tn 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.

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May 2013

Precious Memories By: Kay Christopher

Thank You Mama Thank you for cleaning our noses with your hankerchief and spit when we started to go somewhere.

Thank you for making sure we all had on clean underwear when we went somewhere (in case we had a wreck).

Thank you for whipping us when we behaved like heathens in our neighbor's yard.

Thank you for not teaching us about the birds and the bees, so we could learn it on our own after we got married.

Thank you for making us go to school.

Thank you for fixing us a swing so we could spend hours swaying in the breeze.

Thank you for making us go to church.

Thank you for the clothes you made us by hand so that we were some of the best dressed kids at church.

Thank you for all our clothes you washed in a wringer washer.

Thank you for hanging our clothes out on the line, then bringing them in and ironing every piece.

Thank you for not letting us go on a date until we were 16. Without this rule, no telling what would have happened to us.

Thank you for not ever yelling or screaming at us.

Thank you for canning all that food in the hot house so we would eat better in the Winter.

Thank you for making Sundays our Family Day, and for all the fun we had going swimming, picnicking and riding around.

Thank you for all the ice cream cones you had Daddy buy us at the Bounty or Carol Ann. Thank you for making our lunch to take to school everyday.

Thank you for making us either chocolate fudge or hot chocolate every Friday night.

Thank you for cooking fried chicken every Sunday.

Thank you for being our Mama.

From all your Kids, Grand kids, Great-Grand kids, & Great-Great Grand kids.

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May 4th & 18th - 7 pm

Tamke-Allan Observatory, Harriman Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long. Public is welcome!

The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left.

Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long, inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.

Gates open at 7 pm For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or fieldsde@roanestate.edu for details.

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May 2013

ENTERTAINMENT By: Kay Christopher

The one and only George Jones

George Jones will never be replaced. I consider his hit "The Grand Tour" to be his greatest. Chills still run up my back everytime I hear it. That golden throat graced country classics across six decades of recording. Here are 10 prime hits (listed alphabetically) that helped define his incredible career, and bring us to tears.

"Choices" He won a 1999 Grammy for this hard country ballad in which he reflects on a life of poor decisions. The steel guitar and fiddle cry along with him as he considers his taste for drinking and the loved ones he's hurt. When he was asked to shorten the song for the CMA Awards, he bowed out -- and Alan Jackson earned a standing ovation by tacking on "Choices" at the end of his own slot.

"Golden Ring" (With Tammy Wynette) Although their iconic marriage didn't last, the undeniable chemistry of their duets will never tarnish.

"The Grand Tour" He points out the empty chair and the empty bed in the empty house. About the only thing he's kept is the framed photo of the woman who's gone. "As you leave you'll see the nursery/Oh, she left me without mercy."

"He Stopped Loving Her Today" This 1980 Grammy-winning weeper is considered to be one of the greatest country songs of all time. As the story unfolds, Jones goes to a funeral visitation for a heartbroken old friend.

"I Don't Need Your Rockin' Chair" The song is a novelty, but that didn't keep longtime admirers like Garth Brooks, Vince Gill and Pam Tillis from chiming in their support, along with short phrases sprinkled in here and there. The boisterous track won a 1993 CMA Award for vocal event of the year.

"She Thinks I Still Care" He's only casually mentioning her, asking friends about her, accidentally calling her and retracing her footsteps. It doesn't mean anything, right? Where would she get such an idea? "Tender Years" in 1961, surrounded by lush orchestration and elegant harmonies. Don't be misled, though. In the lyrics, he's torn up about his woman forsaking him for another man.

"White Lightning" This 1959 romp set the stage for a lifetime of drinking songs. With a hidden North Carolina moonshine still, the singer's dad likes to fill up a jug and pass it around. No revenuers allowed.

"Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes" In 1985, Jones wondered aloud if anybody would come along to carry the traditionalist torch. Then he lists some of the stars who altered the course of country music.

"Why Baby Why" This catchy tune brought Jones a national audience in 1955 after years of paying his dues. The melody is easy to like, while the message is true Jones -- drinking, fighting, crying and loving. RIP George Jones--you're the one and only.

The Final Wish

Age and Birthdays •We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

•There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn •Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

•To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

•You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

•Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

•Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

•Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

•The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

•Looking fifty is great - if you’re sixty.

•If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

•After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

•When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

•When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

•Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.

•About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

Happy Birthday

Tanya Webster May 11th

An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a foreign land, and the leader of the captors said, 'We're going to line you up in front of a firing squad, but first, you each can make a final wish.'

The Englishman responds, 'I'd like to hear "God Save The Queen" by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.'

The Irishman replies, 'I'd like to hear "Danny Boy" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung by Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.'

The Welshman answers, 'I'd like to hear "Men Of Harlech" by the Treorchy Male Voice Choir.'

The Scotsman says quickly, 'I'd like to be shot first.'

3 The Roane Reader

Shampoo Warning DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!

It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!!

Shampoo Warning! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME." No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It's label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Kids nowadays

Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already.

- (Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688)

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4 The Roane Reader

Attracting Hummingbirds

according to the almanac May 2013

Weather Forecast Temperature 71.5° (0.5° above avg.)

Precipitation 5.5" (2" below avg.)

1-11: Scattered t-storms, warm; 12-15: Sunny, cool; 16-26: A few t-storms; warm, then cool; 27-31: Sunny, turning warm.

Best days to...

May

Begin diet to gain weight.............................19,23 Begin diet to lose weight.............................4,9,31 Begin logging.........................................2,3,29,30 Breed animals...............................................27,28 Castrate animals............................................29,30 Cut hair to discourage growth......................4,5,31 Cut hair to encourage growth.......................21,22 Cut hay.............................................................6,7 Destroy pests and weeds..................................6,7 Harvest aboveground crops..........................18,19 Harvest belowground crops....................8,9,27,28 Have dental care...........................................18,19 Plant aboveground crops....................13,14,23,24 Plant belowground crops.............................4,5,31 Prune to discourage growth.........................6,7,26 Prune to encourage growth...........................16,17 Quit smoking...............................................4,9,31 Set posts or pour concrete............................27,28 Slaughter livestock......................................4,5,31 Start projects................................................11,12 Wean animals or children...................... .....4,9,31

The key to attracting hummingbirds to your yard is to plant lots of flowers and provide the habitat that will give them shade, shelter, food, and security.

•Herbs, flowering shrubs, dwarf trees, and vines all can be used to create an ideal tiered habitat from ground level to 10 feet or more.

•Provide lots of space between plants to give them enough room to hover and navigate from flower to flower.

•Hummingbirds love water, especially if it is moving. A gentle, continuous spray from a sprinkler hose is perfect for a bath.

•Hummingbirds do not have a keen sense of smell and rely on bright colors to find their food.

•They are particularly fond of red and are often observed investigating red plant labels, thermometers, and even red clothes on a gardener.

•Brightly–colored flowers that are tubular hold the most nectar. These include perennials such as bee balms, columbines, daylilies, and lupines; biennials such as foxgloves and hollyhocks; and many annuals, including cleomes, impatiens, and petunias.

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May 2013

HOMEMADE AIR FRESHENERS

These gel air fresheners are the perfect project! they take a total of five minutes to make, are highly economical, and each jar should last you about a month. These would also make great gifts!

To make these little beauties, you first need heat-proof jars, food coloring, and essential oil. You can find inexpensive essential oils of various scents at craft stores and some grocery stores. I chose a raspberry scented oil...it smells delightful!

Into each jar, drop a few drops (I repeat...a few...it doesn't take more than 2 or 3) of food coloring.

Then, put in about 30 drops of essential oil, give or take. The more essential oil you put in, the stronger the smell.

Now for the fun part. Gather up 4 envelopes of unflavored gelatin, a tablespoon of salt, and 2 cups of cold water.

Why salt? Salt (or vodka) apparently help to keep the gel from molding. Interesting fact, isn't it?!?

Get one cup of water boiling on the stove. When it begins to boil, whisk in the gelatin, stirring until it's all dissolved.

Then, pour in the other cup of cold water and the salt, stirring until the salt is dissolved.

Quickly pour the hot gelatin mixture in each of your jars, and then use a disposable stick or spoon to stir it into the oil and food coloring.

Let these gel overnight, and then voila! Air freshener!

Gordon, an occasional hunter, visits a gentleman's outfitters and asks, 'Do you sell camouflage jackets?'

'Yes, ' replies the salesman, unfortunately we can't find them.'

80th Birthday Celebration for James Cooley

All family and friends are invited to join the celebration of James Cooley's 80th Birthday, at Piney Grove Baptist Church where he has been a member for 68 yrs. To be held in then Family Life Center, May 4th, from 2 until 4pm.

Mr. Cooley was employed at the Rockwood Coca Cola Bottling Works for 20 years, in the sign department, Rust Engineering in Oak Ridge for 22 years, and was a member of the Painter's Local 437 in Knoxville, Tn. He also owned and operated Cooley Sign Company in Midtown, Tn., and is a 35 year member of the Walden Ridge Antique Car Club.

He is a 52 year member of the Masonic Lodge 38 in Kingston, a 50 year member of the Kerbela Shrine Temple of Knoxville, and a 48 year member Scottish Rite 32 Degree Mason, and serving 18 years as Chaplain, for Kerbela Roane Shrine Club.

Refreshments will be served, and no gifts are requested. Hope to see everyone for this milestone occasion.

www.roanereader.com

May 2013

Fishing Lores No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game warden asked him how he did it. The man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish. The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " Shut up and fish!".

Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.

Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.

Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.

"Three Men And A Baby" What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. "That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."

Two morons go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st moron: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish. 2nd moron: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot. 1st moron: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?

A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden!

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."

The Snake and the Frog

I went fishing this morning but after a time I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a big snake with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in a bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Flea & Tick Remedy 8 oz apple cider vinegar 4 oz warm water 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp baking soda Mix dry ingredients first then slowly add the wet as the vinegar and baking soda will react slightly. Put into spray bottle and spray pets down. Be careful not to get in pets eyes.

Use Borax throughout the house, sprinkle it on the carpets and let sit for a few hours, then vacuum. This should kill all the fleas and ticks in your home and on your pets.

5 The Roane Reader

History of the Fly Swat The first modern fly-destruction device was invented in 1900. It was a cheap device of unusual elasticity and durability” made of wire netting, “preferably oblong,” attached to a handle. The netting was crucial: it reduced wind drag, giving the swatter a “whiplike swing.” By 1901, Montgomery’s invention was advertised in Ladies’ Home Journal as a tool that “kills without crushing” and “soils nothing,” unlike, say, a rolled-up newspaper might.

Montgomery sold the patent rights in 1903 to an industrialist named John L. Bennett, who later invented the beer can. Bennett improved the design — stitching around the edge of the netting to keep it from fraying — but left the name.

The various fly-killing implements on the market at the time got the name “swatter.”

Fly-killing technology has advanced to include fly zappers (electrified tennis rackets that roast flies on contact) and fly guns (spinning discs that mulch insects). But there will always be less techy solutions: flypaper (sticky tape that traps the bugs), Fly Bottles (glass containers lined with an attractive liquid substance) and the Venus’ flytrap (a plant that eats insects).

Knowledge talks, Wisdom listens

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6 The Roane Reader

Obituaries

Tansy Gaye Smith Wester

Tansy Gaye Smith Wester of Horn Lake, MS (formerly of South Harriman, Tn) left this earth to be with her Heavenly Father, on April 9th, 2013

She was preceded in death by her husband Jack W. Wester, her parents Nita and Gaylon Smith, grandson Zachary Wester, son-in-law Timmy Dunn and great nephew, Cole Heide.

Tansy is survived by her children Pamela (Larry) Sutton, Tami Dunn, Lee and Connie Wester, Jack W. (Jay) Wester Jr., Laine and Cherryl Wester. Grand children, Josh and Kristy Dunn, Gabe and Stacey Dunn, Ami Dunn, David Sutton, Matthew Wester, Michael Wester and special friend Jessica, Brett Wester, Brittney Wester.

Great grand children, Riley Dunn, Jackson Dunn, Abbie, “Deuce” and Dillon Dunn, Kiley Wester. Sister and Brother-in-law, Darla Smith Cole and Johnny Cole. Niece’s Joni Cole Mann and Mike Mann, Jill Cole, Great Nephew Barrett Mann and special friend Jericka, and Tansy’s beloved do “Daisy” Tansy Gaye will be sadly missed by her loving family, friends and all who knew her. She will be remembered for her wonderful sense of humor, her inner and outer beauty, her kindness and her love for her family Tansy chose to be cremated and is resting in peace with Jack at home.

The family will celebrate a tribute to their Mom, at a later date.

Remember the family in prayer, Tansy was a former member of South Harriman Baptist Church where she loved singing in the choir with her special friends.

So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you - John 16:22

May 2013

Sidney Dewey Sitzler April 4, 1923 - April 22, 2013

Sidney Dewey Sitzler, age 90, of Kingston,Tennessee passed away Monday, April 22, 2013 at The Bridge in Rockwood surrounded by his family. He was born on April 4, 1923 in Laurel Bluff, Tennessee and was a lifelong resident of Roane County. He was a Charter member of Calvary Baptist Church where he had taught Sunday school for over 25 years. Mr. Sitzler was a United States Army veteran who served his country proudly during World War II, receiving a Purple Heart Medal during his service. He enjoyed farming and was an avid gardener. Preceded in death by parents, James Alfred and Mamie Miles Sitzler; eight brothers and sisters.

SURVIVORS - Loving Wife of 69 years Violet Ethelle Renfro Sitzler of Kingston, TN. Children - Patricia “Patty” Sampson & husband, J.D. of Midtown, TN, Sandra Owings & husband, Harold of Kingston, TN, Ronnie Sitzler & wife, Tonya of Kingston, TN, Sherry Fowler & husband, Mark of Raleigh, NC. Grandchildren Donna Begley, Jay Sampson, Dewey Sampson, Kristi Harrison, Chad Owings, Amanda Boyd, Megan Fowler, Libby Fowler, Graham Fowler.

17 Great-grandchildren and 1 Great-Great-grandchild. Brother - Wayne Sitzler & wife, Barbara Dyell of Bradenton, FL. Sister-in-law - Shirley Sitzler of Kingston, TN. A host of extended family and friends. Fraker Funeral Home of Kingston, Tn was in charge of all the arrangements.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF

BLAKE COLLIER

Morgan R. Peters

10/23/77 - 04/24/2004.

Nov. 4th 1999 to May 6th 2012

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In Memory of our special angel

A year has passed still thinking of you is easy, we do it everyday Missing you is the heartache that will never go away Missed by Family, Special Friends & Teachers

ERMA HUGHES Ten Mile, Tennessee Erma Hughes, age 93, of Ten Mile, went home to be with Jesus on Wednesday, April 10, 2013 at Renaissance Terrace in Harriman.

She was born February 3, 1920 in Roane County and has been a lifelong resident of this area. Mrs. Hughes was the longest charter member of Shiloh Baptist Church. In earlier years she had worked at Palm Beach Mill Outlet but her happiest times were when she was farming and cooking for her family. She also enjoyed quilting. Preceded in death by her husband, C.B. Hughes; parents, Oscar & Mary Magdalene Wyatt Burton; several sisters & brothers.

SURVIVORS - Son & Daughter-in-law - Holden “Bud” Hughes & wife, Pat of Ten Mile. Grandchildren Burt & Lee Ann Hughes of Ten Mile, Greg & Yvonne Hughes of Ten Mile, Brian & Marianna Hughes of Kingston, Greatgrandchildren - Cody & Hope Hughes of Ten Mile, Eric Stansberry & Miranda Humphreys of Kingston, Suzanne Hughes of Ten Mile. Greatgreat-grandchildren - Kolden Hughes of Ten Mile. Brother & Sister-in-law - Boyd & Jean Edgemon of Ten Mile. Sister Mary Lou Williford of Kingston. Brother-in-law - Bill Hughes of Ten Mile. Special Friend - Wilma Bell of Ten Mile. A host of nieces, nephews, extended family and friends

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May 2013

Happy 30th Birthday Cole May 1st, 1983 - in Heaven Heide Sept. 16th, 2003

In quiet times I often sit And find my mind adrift To another place, another time And OH! my spirits lift!

I see your happy, smiling face, And that twinkle in your eye.

I hear you sing your favorite song And I laugh... and then I cry.

Inside my heart “Sweet Memories” Stay with me each day, I cherish, and I cling to them For I miss you in every way. Each thing I see..

Each thing I do, brings you close to me For everything upon this earth Brings “Sweet Memories” of you.

I imagine our reunion Someday at Heaven’s Gate It fills my heart with happiness...

But for now, I’ll have to wait.

Until my life upon this earth And my work here is complete “Sweet Memories” will keep me, Until at last again we meet.

“Happy Birthday” My Sweet Cole - Love Mom Cole, we are so proud God chose us to be your family.

We love and miss you more each day. Love Forever, your mom (Jill), Aunt Joni, Uncle Mike, Your Cousin (Barrett), Grand (Johnny) and Nin (Darla)

Obituaries

March 19th Betty Long Underwood, Westel March 23rd Kathy Lynn Maynor, 57, Rockwood March 24th Charles F. Norman, 76, Cave Creek Christine Julie Griffis, 82, Harriman Geneva Dutton, 83, Harriman March 25th Carolyn Sue Early, 71, Rockwood Gustave Easter, Sr., Rockwood Yvonne Utley Hill, 65, Harriman Reba W. Dillon, 77, Oliver Springs March 27th Fred N. Brown, 69, Ozone Bryson M. Coaker, infant, Rockwood March 28th Lloyd C. Lundy, 68, Rockwood John Kenneth Aytes, 77, Harriman Walter T. Powell, 87, Rockwood March 29th Simuel C. O'Briant, Jr., 80, Kingston Sharon Foland Kirkland, 64, Rockwood Glenda Ruth Hodge, 55, Millstone Mtn. March 30th Margaret Marie Sharp, 86, Harriman April 3rd

(Pete) Reynolds, 71, Rockwood Loletta B. Shepherd, 87, Oakdale April 4th Mildred Silvey, 85, Oliver Springs April 5th William Wampler IV, 43, Harriman Harold Curtis Smith, 56, Wartburg April 6th Ralph A. Young, Jr., 51, Harriman April 7th James Larry Griffin, 60, Harriman April 8th Effie Martha Riggs, 88, Harriman “Debbie” K. Bryant, 55, Rockwood Edith F. Brown, 91, Rockwood April 9th "Junior" Wilcoxon, Jr., 88, Kingston Sarah Louise Hackett, 96, Kingston Willie "Bill" Collier, 88, Kingston (Nancy) Taylor, 81, Harriman April 10th Erma Hughes, 93, Ten Mile April 11th Robbie Bernice Barnett, Harriman April 12th Ruth Waldroup Tinnel, 77, Kingston April 13th James C. Hinds, 94, Rockwood April 15th

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7 The Roane Reader

Lamont "Monty" Hill, 70, Kingston Dyra Anne Johnson, 64, Harriman April 19th Judy Ann Edwards, 67, Kingston April 20th Milton Curtis Evans, 78, Ten Mile April 21st Jasper Goforth, Jr., 68, Philadelphia “Buz” Forrester, 77, Harriman Sarah Jane Cagle, 80, Rockwood April 22nd Sidney Dewey Sitzler, 90, Kingston April 23rd Paul "Pappy" Reagan, 90, Kingston Cindy Lee Waldo, 52, Rockwood April 24th Robert Jack Morton, 81, Kingston April 25th Don Bailey, 69, Harriman Ray Winnie, 73, Wartburg “Red” Shipley, 87, Oliver Springs April 26th Kenneth T. Cole, 66, Rockwood

Happy Birthday Luke Downen May 27

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8 The Roane Reader

Bible Trivia

1. What animal spoke to Balaam?

2. What is the last book of the Old Testament?

3. What happened to Daniel after he gave thanks to God by his open window?

4. What was Jonah’s reaction to the way the people of the city of Nineveh responded to God’s message?

5. Zacharias and Elizabeth were told by an angel that they would have a son. What was he to be called?

6. How did Jesus say we should receive the Kingdom of God? 7. What happened to anyone who was not found written in the book of life?

8. In his Sermon on the Mount, what does Jesus say about tomorrow?

9. What did Joseph instruct to be put in Benjamin’s sack?

10. What did Paul do to the soothsayer which made her masters unhappy?

11. What was the name of the place where Jesus Christ was crucified?

12. What object featured in Jacob’s dream at Bethel?

13. What are the names of Joseph’s parents?

14. What animal did Samson kill on his way to Timnah?

15. What was the name of Ruth’s second husband?

The word "trinity" is mentioned in the Bible.

not

Seven suicides are recorded in A chariot imported from Egypt the Bible. cost around 600 shekels of silver (1 Kings 10:29). That would be Methuselah is the oldest man on about $77,000. One shekel was 4 record: 969 years old days wages.

(Gen. 5:27).

An Assisted Living Community 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 865-376-3030

Bible Beat Interesting Bible facts The word "eternity" is mentioned only once: Isaiah 57:15.

In Old Testament times the Mediterranean Sea was called the Great Sea. There are 7 different Jeremiahs in the Bible: 1 Chronicles 5:24; 12:4, 10, 13; 2 Kings 23:30; Jeremiah 1:1; 35:3.

The raven is the first bird mention in the Bible. It appears in Genesis 8:7, when it is sent out from the ark by Noah to see if the flood waters have abated.

The second bird was a dove, in verse 8.

Almonds and pistachios are the only nuts mentioned in the Bible.

ANSWERS: 1. Donkey (Num 22:28) 2. Malachi (Mal 4:6 - Matt 1:1) 3. He was thrown into the lions’ den (Dan 6:10,16) 4. He was angry (Jon 4:1) 5. John (Luke 1:13) 6. As a little child (Luke 18:17) 7. They were cast in the lake of fire (Rev 20:15) 8. Take no thought for it (Matt 6:34) 9. His grain money and a silver cup (Gen 44:2) 10. Commanded the spirit of divination to leave her (Acts 16:18-19) 11. Golgotha / Calvary (John 19:17) 12. Ladder (Gen 28:12) 13. Jacob and Rachel (Gen 46:19) 14. Lion (Jdg 14:6) 15. Boaz (Ruth 4:13)

May 2013

You can play this online @ www.joanyedwards.com/wordsearch/B2bMaryKeptTheseThingsinHerHeart Mary Kept These Things in Her Heart Luke 2:15-19, Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe Mary heard the shepherds say that the angels told them they would find the savior as a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger. She kept these words in her heart. Just like Mary, keep the word of God in your heart 24 hours a day. Remember that Jesus Christ became a human baby boy so that he could save you from your sins. Jesus loves you very much. Mary was very proud of him.

Y I W H I C H U X U C O E R E W S D F B

D K T R W H O A M L M N Q A N M Z E B E K E D A E T T N T R H D E E N F A U L R O E T F C W X T A P I S V N F M G Y S M about all amazed angels another away been Bethlehem by child found

A H A S T E B B M Z R T H I N G S T E L

H W U Z B D K H E R Q X J T M Q N E W A H W F T B N Z G I H E G N D R F L H Q O P L T E X N S I W O K O J X N R X K S J from go had haste heard heart heaven infant Joseph kept known

E P A F H D O N E K A W H E N S H P I C

S E H G A I R D B Z E D P P U B E T N P R S A I H Q N E P T M H C T S D A B O P O O M L R A T H R G G Y K Q D A N N U A let Lord lying made manger Mary message one place reflecting said

Answers to

Bible Quest

John 6:1-19 Matt 1:21 Matt 25:25 Matt 8:26 Gen 16:15

Gen 29 Luke 2:7 Deut 9:15-16 Exo 13:21 Luke 3:23

T H S A J H D D D V K R U P I E N A O W

Y N E W D P T L M M Q J G H Y L E H A H M U P S L I H U W U C A S E H P T M O L A C S W E Y E O I Y L A N G T H E A Y O saw see shepherds taken them then these they things this told

V G Y A S E S N C W O E R E N H J E R E

A E C X Z Z L L G A M E I H V S D E Q E H W H S F Z D B T I N D Z B L S O G T E us went were what when which who

H T H E N C T W V P E G A S S E M W N I

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May 2013

You can play this online @ www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/B20HeIsRisen

Bible Beat

Mary was overjoyed to learn that the Shepherds knew that her son was the Messiah.

As a little girl, she learned from the scriptures that the Messiah was coming. Now she was the Mother of the Messiah sent to save the world. Mary knew it was not yet the time for Jesus to be known all over the world. That time would come later. So she just kept the good news in her heart, but you don’t have to keep it a secret. You can tell everyone that Jesus is the Messiah.

Across 1. body pump 4. which thing 5. what person 6. one more 9. gift tag word 11. kid 13. hurry 16. those who care for sheep 19. "I ___ you!"

20. not home 21. baby 22. look 23. master 25. "___ Poppins" 26. "Where have you ___?"

27. at that time 28. left 30. leave 31. God's home 33. at what time 34. note 35. feeding place 4. used to be 15. not that 24. famous 36. not them 5. what one 16. told 26. town where Jesus 37. did not give 7. not those 17. come in second was born away 8. thinking in a race 27. he and she 38. God's helpers 9. discovered 18. a tool to cut 29. stolen Down 10. less than two wood 32. around 1. listened 12. allow 19. not us 34. earned 2. "Is that ___?"

13. owned 23. not sitting or 3. items 14. surprised standing

Satan's Beatitudes Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in Church ~ They are my best workers.

9 The Roane Reader

Blessed are those who sow gossip and trouble ~ They are my beloved children.

Blessed are those who have no time to pray ~ For they are my prey.

Blessed are those who wait to be asked Blessed are those who gossip ~ for they are my secret agents. and expect to be thanked ~ I can use them in my business.

Blessed are you when you read this and Blessed are those who are touchy. Soon think it has everything to do with other people, and nothing to do with you. they will stop going to church ~ Verily, they shall be my missionaries. ~ I've got room for YOU at my inn.

Know your Apples

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Church elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and put it on the apple tray...

'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Bible Quest 1. When Jesus walked on water, which sea was it?

2. Who told Joseph that Jesus would save his people from their sins?

3. Where did the man who received one talent from his master hide it?

4. To whom did Jesus say, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith”?

5. What was the name of Hagar’s son?

6. Who was Jacob’s first wife?

7. What was Jesus wrapped in when he was born?

8. What did the Israelites do whilst Moses was receiving the Ten Commandments from God? 9. What guided the Israelites through the wilderness?

10. At what age did Jesus start his ministry?

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10The Roane Reader

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May 2013

ROUND RACIN'

Racing Review by: John Griffin

New track record at Smoky Mountain Speedway

WWW.CROSSVILLERACEWAY.NET 2013 Schedule

May 4th, 2013 -- Cinco de Mayo Race Night May 11th, 2013 -- Late Model $1,000 to WIN + Double Points May 18th, 2013 -- Honor Our Hero's Race Night May 24th, 2013 -- Legend's Practice & Qualifying May 25th, 2013 -- Crossville Legends Shoot out and Lets Get Dirty Concert w/ Cody McCarver

WWW.SPRINGCITYRACEWAY.NET 2013 Schedule May 3rd, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program May 10th, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program May 17th, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program May 24th, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program May 31st, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program

2013 Points

Late Model: Perry Delaney #77 - 84 Joe Cline #4X - 67 Street Stock: Brian Selby #9 - 90 Jeff Proffitt #25 - 54 Legend: Joseph Underwood #32 - 60 Vincent Hartwright #42 - 54 Pro-Hornet: Cody Rector #46 - 60 Robert Stone #16R - 54 Hornet: Stephen Conley #57 - 90 Michael Conley #5 - 73 Jr-Hornet: Kealey Lowe #5K - 90 Carlie Mullinax #17 - 77 Vintage Dwarf: Joseph Underwood #65 - 90 Todd Spivey #0 -73

WWW.WARTBURGSPEEDWAY.NET 2013 Schedule May 4th, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program May 11th, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program May 18th, 2013 -- Regular Racing Program May 25th, 2013 -- Powder Puff

NASCAR Sprint Cup Schedule

Smoky Mountain Speedway Date Day WWW.SMOKYMOUNTAINSPEEDWAY.COM

an Cruisin' 20 m i r r 13 a H

May 11th Cruisin' in Harriman is held the 2nd Saturday through the summer from 3:30 - 7:00 pm in Historic Downtown Harriman.

The first two races are now history at Smoky Mt. Speedway.

Race #1 was ran in March with Jonathan Savenport out of Georgia, setting a new track record of 14.932 seconds around the 1/4 mile high banked oval. The race was a Southern All Stars event. It was sponsored by WIMZ 103.5.

In the race, Davenport started 3rd but passed the front two to take the checkers -and the $5,000 payday. Ray Cook in the Bill Elliiot Enterprrises car finished 2nd.

In the Crate Late Models, Chris Wilson won with David Crabtree 2nd, Patrick Duggan 3rd, Hunter Best 4th, and Roger Best 4th.

The Street Stock Feature saw Jeff McLenmore take the checkers, with Greg Humphrey 2nd, and David Price 3rd.

A strong field of 37 super late models were on hand April 13th for Ray Cook's new series Spring Nationals which paid $6,000 to win.

After time trials had been completed, it was Tommy Kerr out of Maryville setting overall fast time for the race. When the green flag dropped for the feature race, it was Kerr getting the lead and setting sail for his 1st win of the season at the track. A few cautions slowed him down, but he drove a real good pace. He was followed by Jonathan Davenport 2nd, Vic Hill 3rd, and Clint Smith 4th.

A strong field of 32 cars signed in for the American Modified Series. Bryan Barber from Kentucky took home the $3,000 payday.

Barber in Victory Lane said he will be back to race on the track again. Matt Cooper finished 2nd, Derek Fisher 3rd, Joey Kramer 4th, Josh Ferguson 5th, and Jeff Hamby, Jr. 6th.

The last race of the night had Justin Kelso taking the checkers in the Mini-Stock/FWD with David Singleton 2nd, and Debbie Singleton 3rd.

Race Site 5/5/13 Sun Talladega Superspeedway

TV/Time FOX 1:00 PM

5/11/13 Sat Darlington Raceway

FOX 6:45 PM

5/18/13 Sat Charlotte Motor Speedway SPEED 7:30 PM

Classic cars, 5/26/13 Sun Charlotte Motor Speedway street rods, and motorcycles line the street for viewing.

There will be music, food vendors and fun inflatables for the kids.

No Admission Fee, this is a free event and registration is also free.

Directions: Located off I-40, take the Harriman Exit #347 in Roane County, go north on Hwy 27 into downtown Harriman. The event is located on Roane Street (Hwy 27) in the center of town.

FOX 6:00 PM

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Located 300 feet north of the red light at the intersection of Pine Ridge Rd & Ruritan Rd in So. Harriman

Sport Utilities Cars Trucks Equipment Carports Tractors Vans “Where Customers Send Their Friends”

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May 2013

Words of Wisdom •A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

•He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw •Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

•When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler •A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. ~ Anonymous •You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and he will give you a look that says, 'My Gosh, you're right! I never would've thought of that!

•The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. ~ Slappy White •A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

•Sometimes I give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it. - Mary Wortley Montagu •It is more easy to be wise for others than for ourselves.

•We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves. - Anonymous

Spring is at Roane County Park The Parks and Recreation Department is getting the park ready for spring. Even on cold days many Roane Countians are already walking the trails at the park, feeding the wildlife, throwing discs and wishing the weather made the splash pad look more inviting.

When you come by, you'll see new playground mulch, new moreinformative signs, a cottage parking lot full of folks using the facility for meetings, and a resurfaced tennis court and other improvements, and later this year a completely new playground coming.

Riley Creek Camping and Recreation Area is full of activity, too.

Since Spring has arrived, our team is getting the Park ready for campers, picnickers, walkers and water sports.

All the signs of old man winter are being removed so you can enjoy this wonderful setting on the beautiful Tennessee River. Once the lake fills, the fun will really begin.

Check out our online version in full color with interactive links and media!! www.roanereader.com or www.facebook.com/roanereader

HESTER’S BODY SHOP

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11 The Roane Reader

Manhattan Project as National Historical Park U. S. Senator Lamar Alexander has introduced legislation that would designate three sites of the World War II-era Manhattan Project, including sites at Oak Ridge, as a national Historical Park.

Senator Alexander said, “As Americans, we have a special obligation to preserve and protect our heritage, and the Manhattan Project National Historical Park will ensure that all Americans learn about the significance of the Manhattan Project and how it continues to shape our history.”

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12 The Roane Reader

Household Hints  To restore finished wood furniture, steep two tea bags in hot water for 10 minutes. Let cool, then dampen a clean soft cloth with tea and wipe over wood furniture. It will bring out the woods natural color and shine.  Use kitty litter mixed with baking soda in a pan to neutralize musty or bad odors.  If the tip of your shoe lace becomes frayed snip off the frayed end.

Then paint or dip the end of the shoe lace into clear nail polish and let it dry. Good as new.  If your new shoes are to tight put the nozzle of your blow dryer into shoe and turn on low. When shoe gets warm, stuff with paper or socks to stretch it.  Spray WD40 on a cloth and wipe over leather shoes or leather boots then buff with a soft clean cloth to shine and make them waterproof.  To make nail polish stay on nails longer first coat fingernails with white vinegar using a cotton ball. Let dry then apply nail polish. To quickly dry nail polish dip fingers into a bowl of cold water. Then shake access water from hands and allow hands to air dry.  Shaving your legs with hair conditioner instead of soap makes them soft and smooth. Just apply, shave, and rinse.  A little olive oil and enough sugar to make a paste make a nice facial scrub. Gently massage onto face avoiding eye area then rinse with warm water. This can also be used on hands.  Baby shampoo is not only gentle for babies hair, but can also be used by adults for soft shiny hair.  To clean oil based paint off of your hands, use vegetable oil. Then wash hands with warm soapy water.

Take care of your pets

Keep your pets cool during hot weather. Dampen fabric chew toys with water and then freeze them or toss a few toys in a bowl, fill the bowl with water and pop it in the freezer. Your dog will have a blast trying to get the toys out of the ice and will be able to stay cool while doing it.

May 2013

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes HATTIE SHILLINGS

Baked Cod with Ritz Cracker Topping Any white, lean fish will work with this recipe.

2 pounds skinless cod fillets Salt

1 sleeve of Ritz crackers 5 Tbsp unsalted butter

Lemon and parsley for garnish (optional)

Preheat oven to 350°. Grease small baking pan with butter. Rinse fish fillets with cold water, pat dry. Cut the fillets into large pieces. Place the fillets at the bottom of the pan, sprinkle with salt. Melt butter. Crush Ritz crackers over a bowl like course breadcrumbs. Mix melted butter with the crumbs. Pack the crumbs over top and sides of the fish. Place in oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until the fish flakes easily.

Mac and Cheeses With Roasted Chiles 1 dozen large eggs 1/2 tsp Red Hot sauce 2 TBSP mayonnaise 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil 1 TBSP dijon mustard Kosher salt Up to 1 tablespoon white wine Freshly ground black pepper vinegar 3 TBSP sliced chives

Crushed red pepper or hot paprika Crunchy sea salt

Place eggs in a large saucepan and cover with 2 quarts cold water. Place over high heat, bring to a boil, cover, remove from heat, and let stand ten minutes. Drain eggs and peel under cool running water. Slice each egg in half lengthwise. Place all of the yolks in the bowl of a food processor. Select 16 of the best looking egg white halves and set aside. Reserve the remaining 8 for another use. Add mayonnaise, mustard, half of vinegar, and hot sauce to food processor and process until smooth, scraping down sides of bowl as necessary. With machine running, slowly drizzle in 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Season mixture to taste with salt and remaining vinegar (if desired). Transfer to zipper-lock bag. Filling and egg white halves can be stored in the refrigerator up to overnight before filling and serving. Cut off corner of zipperlock bag and pipe filling mixture into egg whites, overstuffing each hole. Drizzle with remaining olive oil, sprinkle with black pepper, chives, crushed red pepper, and sea salt. Serve immediately.

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2 cup dried navy beans 6 strips bacon 1 onion chopped

1 teaspoon dried mustard 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup maple syrup

I pork hock, fresh or smoked 2 tablespoons butter 2 tablespoons brown sugar

Preheat oven to 325°. Simmer navy beans in water until tender, about 20 minutes. Drain beans and reserve cooking liquid. Line bean pot with strips of bacon. In a large bowl toss together onion and beans. In another bowl combine 2 cups bean cooking liquid, mustard, salt and maple syrup. Place half the bean mixture on bacon strips in pot. Place pork hock on beans, top with rest of bean onion mixture; pour over reserved cooking liquid/syrup mixture. Cover with lid and place in oven 3 hours, or until pork hock pulls away from the bone. If beans begin to look dry, add more cooking liquid. Once pork hock is cooked, remove beans from oven and remove lid. Mash together butter and brown sugar into paste, scatter sugar paste over beans and place back in the oven, uncovered, for an additional 30 minutes.

To get rid of Bedbugs, use a Plastic Mattress Cover. Cover the entire mattress in plastic to trap the bedbugs. They will eventually starve and die. Leave the plastic on for at least six months, as bedbugs can survive for a long time without feeding.

NOTICE

Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences. The Roane Reader

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May 2013

Super Glue "Cure"

Penny Pinchers  Never buy dryer sheets again.

Wad up a large ball of aluminum foil and toss it in your dryer along with your wet  clothes. It removes static and best of all you can use the same ball over and over. You can also soak a rag in fabric softener and hang it up to dry. Once it is dry toss it in the dryer with the rest of your clothes and reuse it until it stops smelling like fabric softener (lasts 10 to 15 loads).  Stick old newspaper or magazines inside your boots when you store them. This will keep the tops from flopping over and adding unsightly creases to your boots.  Divide and freeze soup into muffin tins. Makes perfect individual servings that you can just pop out when ever you need them.  You can save tomato paste for up to 3 months when you freeze it!  Rubbing some butter over the cut edge of a block of cheese will seal it and stop it from molding.  Laminating paper allows kids to color or work on a project over and over without wasting paper. Also works great for 'To Do' and 'Cleaning' lists. You can use permanent marker and when you are ready to erase it just spray some hairspray on it and it will wipe right off.

Did you ever get your fingers (or other things) stuck together with super glue that you weren't intending to? Nail polish remover does a great job of dissolving super glue. Just dampen a cotton swab, and rub it along your skin to break down the glue.

Sticker-be-gone

Got a bumper sticker that left a sticky residue on your car?

Don't worry. After you peel the sticker off of the window, wipe the residue down with nail polish remover. It dissolves the sticky residue and you'll be good to go.

Keyboard Cleaner

Why do they make computer keyboards light colors? No matter how clean your hands are, dirt, dust and debris settle on your keyboards. Dip a cotton swab in nail polish remover and gently scrub off the keys. It will make your desktop all the more cleaner.

Scuff Eraser

On a vinyl floor, scuff marks can become a daily nuisance.

To erase these imperfections, simply dab a little nail polish remover onto a paper towel (or rag) and wipe away. (Just to be on the safe side, do a patch test prior to tackling that big scuff.)

China Stain Removal

If that beloved saucer is looking worse for the wear, it's time to bust out the nail polish remover...and a cotton swab.

Lightly "scrub" the stain, then wash with soap and water.

Great use for Peanut Butter Peanut butter can be eaten with chocolate, it can be eaten with jam, it can be smeared on chicken, and it can even be used in drinks! It seems that the uses for the wonderful stuff are endless.

If you own a cat or a dog, you will know how hard it can be to get them to take their medication – especially when it is in pill form.

Fortunately cats and dogs love peanut butter – so next time you have to give them some medication, mix it up with a spoonful and feed it to them. No more struggling with the animal as you hold its mouth open and try to force feed it a bitter pill.

13 The Roane Reader

Some great uses for vinegar

1. Clear dirt off PCs and electronics - Your computer, printer, fax machine, and other home office gear will work better if you keep them clean and dust-free. Turn off your machine and wash with a mix of equal parts white vinegar and water. Wash with a cloth, not a spray bottle. You can use cotton swabs for tight spaces.

2. Get rid of smoke odor - If you’ve recently burned a steak or can’t get rid of that cigarette smell, remove the lingering smoky odor by placing a shallow bowl about three-quarters full of white or cider vinegar in the room where the scent is strongest. To get the smell out of the air, moisten a cloth and wave it in the air.

3. Wipe away mildew - Use undiluted vinegar to wipe away heavy mildew stains.

Mix it with water to clean light mildew stains. You can even use a vinegar mist in a spray bottle to prevent mildew stains from forming in rugs and carpets.

4. Clean chrome and stainless steel - To clean chrome and stainless steel fixtures around your home, apply a light misting of undiluted white vinegar from a recycled spray bottle. Buff with a soft cloth to bring out the brightness.

5. Unglue stickers, decals, and price tags - Don’t you hate when you peel a sticker off of your new furniture or product and it’s still sticky from the glue? Worry no more! Use full-strength white vinegar and gently scrape it off the product. Use an expired credit card to scrape. You can also uses this solution to get glue off of glass, plastic and walls.

6. Brighten up brickwork - Have dingy bricks around your fireplace? Use 1 cup of white vinegar mixed with 1 gallon of warm water to scrub the area. Your bricks will be looking shiny and nice!

7. Revitalize wood paneling - You can also use vinegar to shine up your dull wood paneling. Mix 1 pint warm water with 4 tablespoons white or apple cider vinegar and 2 tablespoons olive oil. Let the mixture soak for a few minutes and then polish.

8. Remove carpet stains - You can lift out many stains from your carpet with vinegar: For light stains, mix 2 tablespoons salt with ½ cup white vinegar. Rub into the stain, let try and vacuum.

For tough, ground-in dirt and other stains, make a paste of 1 tablespoon vinegar with 1 tablespoon cornstarch, and rub it into the stain using a dry cloth. Let it set for two days, then vacuum.

9. Keep car windows frost-free - Vinegar is a great way to keep frost from forming on your car windows.

Spray the outside of your windows with a mixture of 3 parts white vinegar to 1 part water.

A prime example

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job.

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14 The Roane Reader

Happy Birthday

GLORIA WRIGHT May 9th

Oats for fast pain relief....

It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

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May 2013

Growing Up In Harriman (1930-1945) Part V

A Boy's Ingenuity By: Pete Semanick

Pete Semanick was born in Harriman on September 19th, 1930. This is the fifth entry of a series of articles recounting his youth in Harriman, TN. For questions or comments contact: psemanic@swcp.com My favorite spot for fishing was under the L and N railroad trestle where the water of the Emory was crystal clear and shallow, with large flat moss-covered sandstone rocks-a perfect place where the fish sought cover. The sunfish kept near the shoreline away from the larger fish. At seven, I knew the much sought after bass were in deeper water hiding under the moss. The sunfish were easy prey but the bass were much smarter. The water was shallow then, before the dam below Harriman was constructed.

Money was short. A young man had to use his ingenuity and necessity became the “mother of invention” if I was to fish. My mother worked for the NYA (National Youth Administration) on the second floor off Roane Street as an instructor teaching young ladies how to sew. She would occasionally bring home small empty wooden thread spools, which became “bobbers” and fishing line was the left over scraps of heavy thread from the shop. I used my old reliable hand-me-down pocketknife to cut a cane pole. I did purchase my fish hooks at Farham’s Hardware but I secured my bait from the worms in my Grandma’s garden at the back of our house. Fishing continued to be a large part of leisure time for most of my life.

After the bowling alley was remodeled the building became a skating rink. Skates would become worn out and discarded and I saw an opportunity. With permission I used salvageable parts from the skates and soon had two sets of wheels. I built my scooter by using a horizontal 2” x 4’” plank and a vertical 2” x 4’” plank.

Heavy-duty nails attached the two boards. The front part of a set of skates was nailed to the bottom of the horizontal board, one set in the front area and the second set to the rear area. A small 6” piece of wood was for the handle. Back then the present style of skateboard was unheard of by us kids. Crescent and Siluria streets were my racetracks.

A small grassy area was near the depot and it was ideal for playing tag football and flying kites. Kites were simply made with branches, newspaper and glue made from flour and water. A few of my pals and I would also play war games in this area. Hand grenades were improvised using pods off a tulip tree. Our guns were broom handles. During harvest season, cornstalks were placed to dry and resembled tepees. We would play hide and seek there long into the hours of the evening. All these games drew the boys together - me and my pals Tight Eye, Acorn Head, Nick, G.A. and B.D. - childhood friends back in those days lasted forever.

Happy Mother's Day Mama From Larry, Jerry, Rita & Kay

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May 2013

Rockwood Memories By: Ray Collet

I have had several people ask me about "Burning Springs" that we used to visit near the Rockwood airport many years ago. Get your hiking boots on and let's take a trip to it.

Although I have been there many times as a kid growing up, I can't remember how to get there again. To guide us on our trip, I found an article written by the Rev. D.W. Jenkins in a 1957 edition of the Rockwood Times. If you are well rested, I would like to share it with you. I hope it brings back memories.

For many months we, Sgt. Cecil Strader, of the Tenn. Hwy. Patrol, and myself had planned to visit "Burning Springs" on the mountain northwest of here. Finding no one who would accompany us, we felt the urge to go on anyway. So we took off alone in an old Dodge and traveled six miles up and out on the plateau. Reaching the summit, we were flagged down by three men looking helplessly at a flat tire on a truck. The owners were Jack Hadley, and his son, John. As the wheel was being changed, we asked about the location of Burning Springs " and other things about the mountain past and present. Jack was an old resident and a fox hunter, "Fox hounds ain't what they used to be" he said.

The wheel changed, we conscripted Walter Summers who was standing nearby, and whose home was but a few feet away, to ride the other three miles out to the "Burning Springs " which we had heard so much about. Mr. Summers rode three miles showing us where to turn and where not to. In a few minutes, he had us stop near a wide path leading to a spring about a hundred yards away. We followed and were soon on the bank of a small gorge from the bottom of which was pouring forth fire and water with a roar which could be heard quite a few steps away. We could feel the heat twenty feet from the spring. Mr. Summers explained that it had burned for fifty-two years. It was the most unusual thing that we had ever seen.

There are two or three stories as to the beginning of the fire. After much research, we talked to the man who actually saw the match struck and fire lit many years ago. We refer to Mr. John Howard. Mr. Howard was with his father on a bee hunting trip. He stated that he was around ten years old. He and his father sat down near the spring where they saw water boiling and the sound like cabbage boiling. His father threw a lit match, and a big glaze came up and a roar sounded. The blaze is not so big now, but it still burns. Sgt. Strader said upon leaving, "This is the strangest thing that I have ever seen."

To get there, take old Nashville Rd. to RFD 3, six miles from downtown, past inspiration Ridge, Dead Man's Curve, The Tie Pile, and the Old Stomping Ground. Or better yet, stop at Walter Summer's place on top of the mountain, exactly halfway and get him to take you..

And while we are on the mountain, how about a trek on to "Billy Goat Cave.' Some people called it "Horse Cave' but to us it was always "Billy Goat Cave." This is an excerpt from a trip that Rev. D.W. Jenkins took there also, Wanna come along?"

Rev. Jenkins writes,.."For a long time we have heard of "Horse Cave" which is up the mountain 3/4 of a mile, then down under, on the mountain side. It is a very dangerous place. We heard how Rebel soldiers would hide their horses in the cave from the Yankees and that the Indians had hidden gold bullion in the rock walls of the cave. They supposedly sealed the hidden gold bullion with a strange cement which bonded with the rock so it could not be found. I was accompanied on this trip by Mr. Ferris Hickey and another forest ranger. The ranger explained there was no "Horse Cave", that this was "Sheep Cave" or "Billy Boat Cave." Ferris , said he would take us to the cave, so we followed him 3/4 of a mile up the mountain, and then down the mountain side, which was the most steep and dangerous place we had ever been to.

We were scared stiff, but knowing we were with an experienced Ranger, we took courage. He kept a few feet below watching with an experienced eye in case we should lose our footing. After a long and dangerous descent, we came to a narrow ledge which led into the cave. We told him, "Heaven help us, we could not walk that narrow ledge." He answered, "I know how you feel, just keep your eyes off of Rockwood below and follow me."

Presently we were in the cave where there were signs of sheep and goats "a'roostin", but so steep that you could not get a horse in the cave if you tried with a derrick. And there was no sign of the gold bullion hidden in the rock walls. Then we started the hard climb back. Ferris stayed behind this time watching carefully our steps and laughing at us when he saw we were running out of gas. Reaching the top, where it was level, we made a dive for it and spent some time catching up on oxygen and getting over the scare we just had."

Well readers that about does it for my Rockwood Memories for this edition. Hope this brings back memories and the hiking didn't wear you out...Thanks, Ray

15 The Roane Reader

SOUTH HARRIMAN SCHOOLS ALUMNI AND FRIENDS BEGIN A SPECIAL CELEBRATION YEAR! There is a new billboard near the highway in South Harriman.

Arranged and provided by the South Harriman Schools Alumni and Friends Organization, the striking display announces the fact that the year 2013 marks 50 years since the last class graduated from South Harriman High School in May 1963. Its erection also denotes the beginning of a year-long celebration of this “Golden Homecoming” for all former students and associates of the schools at South Harriman. This celebration, spearheaded by the Alumni Organization, will emphasize special provisions for all the group’s regular community projects (e.g., Bicycle presentations for students with perfect attendance at Bowers Elementary School, Scholarships for 4-H camp for Bowers students, Memorial and Veteran Day Displays at the site of the former high school) and a special “Golden Homecoming” Dinner and Program to be held at Roane State Community College on May 25, 2013. It is expected that 350-400 alumni will be attending the homecoming and participating in the special activities through the year. As the billboard attests, the buildings may be gone and the classes no longer exist but for all former South Harriman “Pirates”, The Spirit Lives On!

“GOLDEN HOMECOMING” SOUTH HARRIMAN SCHOOLS ALUMNI AND FRIENDS

May 25th @ Roane State C.C.

$22.00 per Person

Includes VISITING, DINNER & PROGRAM

– YOU CANNOT PAY AT THE DOOR – MUST SEND CHECKS BEFORE MAY 18

SEND RESERVATIONS TO: Peggy Truxell 717 Calvin Street Kingston, Tennessee 37763

Questions or Additional Information: Contact Ken Isham, (865) 466-8028

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16 The Roane Reader

May 2013

Fun & Facts for kids only Terrible Tongue Twisters

Here are some cool tongue twisters--see how many times you can repeat each one without messing up!

- Black bug bit a big black bear. But where is the big black bear that the big black bug bit?

- A big bug bit the little beetle but the little beetle bit the big bug back.

- I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

- These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue.

- A sailor went to sea To see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

- If

two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch.

- Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.

- I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I hought I thought.

- If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

- I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. And on a slitted sheet I sit. I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. The sheet I slit, that sheet was it.

- Any noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.

- A skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk. the skunk thought the stump stunk . What stunk the skunk or the stump?

- The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

- If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the

doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors?

Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

- Do tongue twisters twist your tongue?

Comets

Comets are quite the celestial spectacle. Would you believe that they are simply pieces of dusty ice?

When a comet flies close to the Sun, some of its ice turns into a long, bright trail, or tail, of vapor. That tail is a comet's most amazing feature.

Most comets are unpredictable. Astronomers can calculate where one will be in the sky, but not how bright its tail will be. Probably the most famous one, Halley's Comet, appears every 76 years—but it doesn't always make a great show.

Halley's Comet was spectacular in 1910 and disappointing in 1986. In 2061, it will be large and visible in the Northern Hemisphere. Let's hope that the sky is clear!

The Genius

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.

Because they change things.

They push the human race forward. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. - Apple Inc.

Happy Birthday

Tim Christopher May 3rd

Mothers are the best Friend: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?

Mom: I just put the cat on the bed.

Friend: How does that help?

Mom: The dog’s already there.

Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?

Mother snake: Yes, son. Why Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Sunday school teacher: Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?

Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.

Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.

Dan: How do you know?

Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.

Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?

Bobbie: East?

Robbie: No. Larry.

Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?

Westy: What?

Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”

We want to see your best ARTWORK! Send us your drawings along with your name and age.

Send them to: 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748 or email to info@roanereader.com

Abby Stout age 6

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May 2013

17 The Roane Reader

The Roane Reader proudly presents THE WRITER'S PAGE

Mother

By: Lindsay Freels Dedicated to: My Loving Mother, Tina Freels There is always one person in this world you can tell all Her curls pulled back, She stands proud and tall We wear matching dresses, both with a cream dye We laugh, and play, and sometimes we cry I feel safe with the sky above But here in my Mother's arms is where I feel loved.

Happy 91st Birthday

Kathleen Price Delozier Who Celebrated on April 20th from You Daughters

Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.

- Mignon McLaughlin

IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR WRITINGS ON THIS PAGE EMAIL US: INFO@ROANEREADER.COM

Glenda Johnson Broker/Realtor, ABR, GRI, CTG, ITI

865-591-6900

Office: 865-376-2121 Ext. 102

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Jim Henry & Assoc.

410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston Kingston, TN 37763

Your Time Is Not Up Yet! A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

On the operating table, she had a near death experience.

Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you!"

Five of the Shortest Books Ever Written 1. Arctic Water Polo 2. Bedouin Olympic Swimmers 3. One-Legged Folk Dances 4. Advanced Subtraction 5. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Words of Wisdom

By: Elsie Wyrick Dear Friends: When it seems like everything is going wrong in your life, may I please suggest something for you?

Why not pull back your curtain of precious memories to the time in your life that you needed help and you called out to God, and He answered you and brought you through those things, which seemed impossible to you!

Well, He is the same wonderful God now that He was then, and it sure would please Him to help you again!

Please give Him a chance. He is waiting for your call!

In Honor of Pastor Bill Edmonds

The life you live is so very special because it is seasoned with grace from God, kind words from your heart, and a true love for others.

May you stay the same in God's care and service.

Happy Birthday... and many happy years of retirement!

May God bless you!

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18 The Roane Reader

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May 2013

Laughable lawsuits In February 1992, Stella Liebeck ordered a cup of coffee to go from McDonalds. Liebeck was sitting in the passenger seat of her nephew's car, which was pulled over so she could add sugar to her coffee. While removing the cup's lid, Liebeck spilled her hot coffee, burning her legs. It was determined that Liebeck suffered third degree burns on over six percent of her body. Originally, Liebeck sought $20,000 in damages. McDonalds refused to settle out of court. However, they should have. Liebeck was ultimately awarded $200,000 in compensatory damages, which was reduced to $160,000 because she was found to be twenty percent at fault. She was also awarded $2.7 million in punitive damages.

In September 1988, two Akron, Ohio-based carpet layers named Gordon Falker and Gregory Roach were severely burned when a three and a half gallon container of carpet adhesive ignited when the hot water heater it was sitting next to kicked on. Both men felt the warning label on the back of the can was insufficient. Words like "flammable" and "keep away from heat" didn't prepare them for the explosion. They filed suit against the adhesive manufacturers, Para-Chem. A jury obviously agreed since the men were awarded $8 million for their troubles.

In 1992, 23-year old Karen Norman accidentally backed her car into Galveston Bay after a night of drinking. Norman couldn't operate her seat belt and drowned. Her passenger managed to disengage herself and make it to shore. Norman's parents sued Honda for making a seat belt their drunken daughter (her blood alcohol level was .17 - nearly twice the legal limit) couldn't open underwater. A jury found Honda seventy-five percent responsible for Karen's death and awarded the Norman family $65 million. An appeals court threw out the case.

In May 2003, Stephen Joseph of San Francisco sued Kraft foods for putting trans-fat in their Oreo cookies. Joseph wanted an injunction to order Kraft to stop selling Oreos to children. Once the media caught wind of Joseph's lawsuit, the media blitz became too much for him to handle. He decided to drop the suit.

In 1997, Larry Harris of Illinois broke into a bar owned by Jessie Ingram. Ingram, the victim of several break-ins, had recently set a trap around his windows to deter potential burglars. Harris, 37, who was under the influence of both alcohol and drugs, must have missed the warning sign prominently displayed in the window. He set off the trap as he entered the window, electrocuting himself. The police refused to file murder charges. Harris's family saw it differently, however, and filed a civil suit against Ingram. A jury originally awarded the Harris family $150,000. Later, the award was reduced to $75,000 when it was decided Harris should share at least half of the blame.

In 1991, Richard Harris sued Anheiser-Busch for $10,000 for false advertising. Harris (no relation to the above-mentioned burglar) claimed to suffer from emotional distress in addition to mental and physical injury. Why? Because when he drank beer, he didn't have any luck with the ladies, as promised in the TV ads. Harris also didn't like that he got sick sometimes after he drank. The case was thrown out of court.

In 2003, Richard Schick sued his former employer, the Illinois Department of Public Aid. Schick sought $5 million plus $166,700 in back pay for sexual and disability discrimination. In fact, Shick was so stressed by this discrimination that he robbed a convenience store with a shotgun. A jury felt his pain and awarded him the money he was seeking. The decision was then reversed. Unfortunately, the $303,830 he was still awarded isn't doing him much good during the ten years he's serving for armed robbery.

Scott McCluen

ATTORNEY AT LAW

To Schedule an Appointment Call/Text Message: 388-0017 Email: smccluen@comcast.net

No Charge for Initial Consultation

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19 The Roane Reader

Here we go, into the wild, blue yonder

Royal Thai - Ban U-Tapao 631st Combat Support Group 635th Civil Engineering Squadron APO San Francisco 96330 10 July 1966 - 30 April 1967

Pilot says: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

In early 1967 another aircraft was added to our inventory. This was part of the Navy P-3 electronic surveillance special mission for SE Asia. Several bases in SE Asia were home to this land based aircraft.

At this point U-Tapao was fully operational. Activity on the flight line involved munitions movement, fueling aircraft from fuel bladders, twenty-four hour ramp patrol for fire protection and security police monitoring of the perimeter of the base.

Most of the permanent construction was well underway and many of the temporary structures were being torn down. The fire department was fully manned with sufficient ranking fire fighters and adequate fire equipment. At last I had some much needed free time. I approached my Commander and requested for a short leave. He agreed I deserved some time off and granted me a three-week trip to Japan for some R & R. I’m sure the leave was granted due to my having just received another distinctive honor award: a First Leaf Cluster to the Air Force Commendation Medal for my performance at Whiteman AFB. I was fortunate in obtaining an aircraft flight to Bangkok. President Johnson was visiting the area and three of his helicopters were on the flight line, which allowed me to get a seat on one going to Bangkok.

The helicopters were there as a decoy to confuse any enemy forces on his whereabouts. This was one plush helicopter.

Arriving in Bangkok I went to the military flight operations center to inquire about a flight to Yakota, Japan. I was in luck as a Navy C-5 Galaxy was scheduled for takeoff in a couple of hours. I was put on the manifest and before I knew it I was landing at Yokota Air Base. After I made friends with a couple of airmen on emergency leave who were heading for the states, and after disembarking, I went with them to military flight operations for flight information. Since they were young airmen I figured they would need help. At the desk I told the sergeant in charge about their needs and he said three seats were available on another C-5 heading for San Francisco. I asked him if I could get on the manifest as I had papers for normal leave. He said he would put my name down and if no one else showed up the seat would be mine. The three of us went to the snack bar until time to board the plane. Soon our names were called for boarding passes. I could not believe I had the fortunate good luck to get a seat.

Arriving at Travis Air Force Base, I headed for flight operations to ask about return information to Bangkok in two weeks time. The sergeant said that my prospects would be limited as emergency leave personnel pretty well filled all flights back to SE Asia. He gave me his name and said to look him up when I came back from my leave.

I left Travis, hired a cab to the International Airport in San Francisco and in a short time I was landing in Las Vegas. Another taxi ride to the home of my in-laws and a great surprise to my wife and motherin-law, who both thought I had gone AWOL until I explained what I had arranged for the leave. The girls were in school so Grace and I surprised them both when I was there to pick them up. We had a wonderful two weeks but as usual the time went fast and before I knew it I was back at Travis trying to get a hop back to Japan and on to U-Tapao.

Luck was with me as the sergeant I met earlier was on duty and he arranged for a seat on a commercial airline to Japan. During the flight a stewardess apologetically informed me my seat would be bumped when we arrived in Kadena, Okinawa. Not one to worry I went to military base operations and asked about a flight on to Japan as soon we landed. I was told nothing would be available for a few days and was recommended to take the base bus to Naha Air Base where cargo planes departed almost hourly.

Navy P-3

From a Southwest Airlines employee, "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 106. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works like every other seat belt and if you don't know how to operate one, you shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two children, decide now which one you love more.

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

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20 The Roane Reader

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find MeÂż) Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader

ALL CORRECT ENTREES WILL BE ENTERED INTO A SECOND CHANCE DRAWING. We will announce the winners of the competition in the following month’s issue. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!!

Entrees that fail to provide all this information will not qualify!

Winner of April

Congratulations to:

Jeff Voyles

Answer given:

"It is the metal fairy on top of the house that sits in front of the Halloween barn at Cumberland and Morgan" Second Chance Drawing

Michelle Pressley

601 S. Chamberlain AYH 5RFNZRRG 71 Ć 3KRQH (865) 354-3945 (across from the Rockwood Sports Complex/ball field) TDD/TTY 7-1-1

NOW ACCEPTING APPLICANTS 55 YEARS OLD AND OLDER

Retirement living for individuals 55 years and older or mobility impairments with all the benefits of affordability and no yard work or maintenance hassles.

We offer large 1 bedroom homes with 2 walk in and 1 hallway closet. We provide water/sewer, trash, services coordination, safety monitoring, chapel, activities, and lobby coffee bar at no extra charge. Rent is discounted based on your income and utility allowance is given. Small pets welcome with pet deposit. Retire at our quality affordable community. Enjoy life to the fullest at Rockwood Village!

May 2013

Robin Williams' plan...

(Hard to argue with this logic!)

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says 'I love New York ' in Arabic.

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan": 1) 'The US, UK , CANADA and AUSTRALIA will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good 'ole' boys', we will never 'interfere' again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East, and the Philippines . They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are from. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers.

If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and it's back home baby.

6) The US, UK , CANADA and AUSTRALIA will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not 'interfere..' They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army.. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us 'Ugly Americans' any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE. Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' '

www.roanereader.com

May 2013

21 The Roane Reader

Cats & Dogs • An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~ Martin Buber • You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~ Nora Ephron • Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. ~ George Eliot • Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! ~ Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist • Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous • Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. ~ Anonymous • Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch • A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. ~ Hazel Nicholson There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

• Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry • My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~ Edith Wharton • He doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts. ~ Robert Brault • The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce • No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. Harry S. Truman • The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland • Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats.

Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. Lenny Bruce

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22 The Roane Reader

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Making Wind Chimes:

Mother's Day Quotes

To get the sound wanted in wind chimes it is best to experiment with various materials. Different materials produce unique sounds.

Metal Wind Chimes These chimes ring particular notes and you can tune each chime to a note, though that is hard because the way a chime vibrates produces the note. To get a certain note the dimensions have to be correct like length, diameter and thickness. These attributes determine the frequency. Also, different metals produce different sounds.

Decide on the number of notes wanted and test your metal pipe lengths with an electronic tuner or use a piano or guitar to gauge what you want. For example, to make a five-note wind chime with these notes c, f, g, d and a from the C scale you would cut the first length of copper pipe and check the note. If it is G flat, but you need a G then grind the end of the pipe a bit. Then check the note again.

Grinding off some of the metal makes a higher note. To drill the holes use a 1/8" to 1/16" drill bit.

Bamboo Wind Chimes Wind chimes are also made of wood. Bamboo is a good wood to use for wind chimes as it creates a subdued sound. For people that want a soft and relaxing sound bamboo is a perfect material to use. To create this softer sound use a soft metal like lead, tin or copper for the strikers.

Glass Wind Chime These chimes produce an ethereal tinkling sound. They are perfect when you want a light musical sound. Stained glass makes good wind chimes. Make sure some of the pieces of glass aren’t too heavy so the heavy piece doesn’t break the lighter piece of glass. They should weight about the same. Use a diamond bit to drill the holes threw the glass pieces.

• "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford.

Then I want to move in with them."

- Phyllis Diller • "It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

- Helen Rowland • "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.

The original meal has never been found."

- Calvin Trillin • "There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."

- Chinese Proverb • "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease."

- Lisa Alther

Create the Sound you Desire

If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.

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Circling Vultures: What are they doing?

Contrary to popular belief, circling vultures do not necessarily indicate the presence of a dead animal.

Circling vultures may be gaining altitude for long flights, searching for food, or playing.

These birds soar on thermals of warm, rising air. Soaring flight is much more energetically efficient than powered, flapping flight.

After rising on the thermal, they glide as far as possible before they need to gain altitude again. They also rely on thermals of warm air, as well as air currents that are deflected upwards off hills, to remain aloft while scanning the ground for food.

You will certainly see vultures in the air over a carcass, and they may remain in the air until they feel the situation is safe enough for them to land and begin feeding.

May 2013

Gabbin' with Glander

The Great Gas War - Continued

By Jerry Lemons As far as I could see, there was no end in sight to the war between Glander and Tiddle. Apparently, Tiddle was determined to undersell Glander. And knowing Glander as I did, I knew he wouldn't give up.

If he had to sell gas for a penny a gallon to beat Tiddle, he would.

But when I took my stroll down the Gap, I noticed that Tiddle was getting all the business. Cars were lined up there waiting to get gas.

Across the road, Glander's looked deserted. There wasn't one car over there.

Glander's son Merlin McForny and Barb Flester were sitting on the old car seat between the station and market. They were snuggled pretty close together and whispering, and I figured Merlin was doing a little sparking.

I entered the market and saw Glander sprawled back in his Lazy Boy recliner by the big plate glass window. He was looking through a pair of binoculars at Tiddle's station.

"Hey, Sour," Glander greeted me, "what's cookin'?"

"Not a thing," I replied. "What about yourself?"

"Aye, I don't know," Glander wagged his head. "It don't look too good. I don't understand it a-tall. Tiddle 'ere broke the three dollar a gallon barrier 'is mornin'. He went down to $2.99 a gallon. Of course I went down to 2.98 right after 'at. But, lordy, I just don't understand it. Look at that. Tiddle's sellin' gas like we was at war with the A-rabs, and me lower in price than him and I ain't sellin jack."

Glander got up and walked to the door and opened it, gave a look over at Tiddle's, and then looked at Merlin.

"You did put the 98 up there like I told you, didn't you?"

Merlin bobbed his head. "Yeah, Daddy, I put it up 'ere just like you told me to do."

Glander sighed and wagged his head. "I just don't understand it."

He walked out onto the tarmac and stood by the gas pumps and stared over at Tiddle's. Then he glanced up at the gas price pole and I saw him do a double-take and jerk back. His eyes bulged and mouth dropped open. Then he turned and looked at Merlin.

There was a look in Glander's eyes I'd never seen before. It was a mixture of perplexity, anger, and just plain bedevilment.

Merlin sensed something wasn't right. He called out "What's uh matter, Daddy?"

Glander raised a hand, palm upward, and waved it slowly up and down. He was trying to speak but nothing was coming out. Finally, it burst free.

"You put the 98 up 'ere all right, " Glander said in a hoarse voice, bet then he hollered "but you didn't take down the 3!'

"Take down the 3," Merlin asked. He hunched his shoulders and and squinched his brows. He looked as if he were struggling with some inscrutable problem.

"No wonder Tiddle's gettin' all the business!" Glander bellowed.

"My gas price is $3.98 a gallon.!"

"Uh--hmm," Merlin scratched his head. "I don't know what I was thinkin. I guess I orter take down the 3."

Glander looked at Merlin for a long moment, not saying anything, and then he wagged his head and trudged into the market.

"There's something bad wrong with that boy," he muttered. "It's enough to drive ye to drink."

He walked to the cooler, reached his hand down, and without looking pulled out a can, popped the top and chugged a Pepsi.

www.roanereader.com

May 2013

“I read it on the internet” Cinnamon & Honey

INDIGESTION: Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food is eaten relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.

LONGEVITY: Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Use four teaspoons of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder, and three cups of boiling water to make a tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans increase.

RASPY OR SORE THROAT: When throat has a tickle or is raspy, take one tablespoon of honey and sip until gone. Repeat every three hours until throat is without symptoms.

FATIGUE: Senior citizens who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts are more alert and flexible. One Dr. says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, even when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, when taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M., the vitality of the body increases within a week.

Things not to say to a cop when you're pulled over...

Want to race to the station, Sparky?

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

"Bad Cop! No Donut!"

What to do with a broken mirror?

We all know that breaking a mirror is said to bring on bad luck, but what’s a person to do if ever their mirror has a little accident? Well as it turns out, all sorts of things! Like . . .

1. Mosaic: This is the most common, and most obvious, project choice for a broken mirror. The reflective effect is just lovely, on photo frames, DIY disco balls, table tops, garden stepping stones, and anything else you can imagine. Homemade mosaic is actually very easy, all you need is a pair of tile nippers, an adhesive, and some grout. For inspiration, check out this amazing mirror mosaic fence on Hometalk.

Why not go all out when installing a fence?

2. Backsplash: Similar to mosaic, you can use your mirrored pieces to create a super unique backsplash in your kitchen, bathroom, or even along a windowsill. The size of the space will depend on how much you have to work with, but you can always mix in pieces of glass or tile, or you can use the mirrors in a small, accent area. I love that with this backsplash project I have the option of either doing it myself or working with a Portland tile contractor.

3. Compact: Use a little mints tin, or any other small container, to make your own custom compact. Just glue a piece of the mirror to the inside of the top, then decorate the outside however you like. You can even store an eye shadow or lip tint in there. It is just perfect for a girl on the go.

4. Portable Hand Mirror: Even easier than a compact, you can make an asymmetrical hand mirror that slips easily into your purse. Just start with a nicely-shaped piece of mirror. For a decorative backing, find a pretty picture or – if you want to get whimsical – a handwritten poem, cut it to fit the mirror, and glue it onto the backside. You should use self-hardening craft clay around the edges to prevent any poking.

This is a simple craft but it would make a GREAT girly gift. You also can use a piece of a broken mirror to make a not-so-portable wall mounted mirror.

5. Ornament: Just the same as the hand mirrors above, but in this case you can glue festive wrapping paper to the backs of each piece. Instead of craft clay, use thick glittery puff paint to soften the edges.

Finally, affix a pretty ribbon to the top, and you’ve got yourself a gorgeous ornament. Another excellent gift!

6. Wind chime: Mirror glass makes a perfect wind chime because the gentle clinking sounds so lovely, and because it also doubles as a sun catcher, snatching up rays of sunlight and scattering prisms everywhere. You can also bring it inside and use it as a pretty mobile. Without any wind it wouldn’t make noise, but hung in front of window it would still send rainbows across a child’s room.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Keith Downen

We should not only use the brains we have, but all that we can borrow.

J & B

GRASSCUTTERS

May 8

furniture

You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket So, uh, you "on the take", or what?

Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

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23 The Roane Reader

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24 The Roane Reader

More uses for Duct Tape 1. Wrapped around newspaper to make a dog chew toy.

2. Holding on book covers.

3. Climbing rope.

4. Earrings.

5. Cover old pocket folders -- lasts forever!

6.Sealing envelopes (in case you hate the taste of envelope glue).

7.Replacement for airplane glue.

8 For store owners: great way to keep the wigs on mannequins.

9.Seat belts that'll REALLY keep the kids still.

10.Closing chip bags.

11.Make the stapler obsolete!

12.Putting up Christmas lights (easy removal).

13.Add several layers to your car's bumpers for a much safer ride.

14.Fix vacuum cleaner hose.

15.Tape ski boot to your ski when the binding breaks.

16.Repair seams of ski gloves.

17.Wrap around your waist when your zipper splits in a one piece ski suit.

18.Lift and separate when you don't want to wear a bra or can't have straps showing.

19.Hold temple onto eye glasses.

20.Make a wallet out of it.

21.Hold car hood shut.

22.Patch hole in canoe.

23.Fixing sets for the school play.

Happy Birthday

Joyce Nall May 26th

May 2013

Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applications!!

Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. Head Start programs provide a learning environment that supports children's growth in the following domains: language and literacy; cognition and general knowledge; physical development and health; social and emotional development; and approaches to learning.

We also serve pregnant women and their families who are income eligible.

Head Start programs offer a variety of service models, depending on the needs of the local community. Programs may be based in: centers or schools that children attend for part day services; children's own homes, where a staff person visits once a week to provide services to the child and family. Children and families who receive homebased services gather periodically with other enrolled families for a group learning experience facilitated by Head Start staff.

For more information or to complete an application call: Site Kingston Annex Rolling Acres Fairmont

Phone 865-3 76-2308 865-882-0808 865-882-8737

P.O. Box 790 Mid-East Kingston, TN 37763 Community Action Agency www.mecaa.net

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May 2013

Characteristics of Happiness Optimism - People who are optimistic, by definition feel happier about the future as they assume things will be better than they likely will be, even in the face of a negative past.

Contented - People who are not bothered by the past or future can also just be happy in the present moment. Worry about the future is a common creator of unhappiness, and stopping worrying can give you a huge boost.

Humour - Those with a sense of fun and who can laugh, especially at themselves, are generally happier.

Laughing at yourself implies a sound sense of security with a reduced tendency to worry, which in turn contributes to happiness.

Achievement - People who challenge themselves, seeking to learn and achieve find pleasure not only in reaching their goals but also in the struggle and focus to get there.

They often set both smaller and larger goals, enabling them to get a sense of achievement in each of the little steps along the way to the greater joy of achieving something significant.

Caring - People who are altruistic, caring for others and spending time helping them often find great happiness in this. Caring for others gets you out of yourself and stops you worrying. Seeing others who are less fortunate than you can also provide motivation.

Integrity - Being true to yourself creates internal alignment and reduces inner conflict that prevents you from being truly happy. This helps to explain how caring works -- if you have an internal Values that says 'caring is right', then by caring for others you increase internal alignment.

Gratitude - People who are grateful for their lot in life and who show gratitude towards others for the things they receive have been found to be happier. Notably, thanks can be found in many religious prayers.

Activity - When people keep busy they are often happier than those who slow down, watch TV, surf the net and other less active things.

Activity reduces time for moping, adds interest and increases the chance of meeting others and finding happiness in new areas.

blind ambition I recently asked a friend, 'Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?'

'Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector', my friend replied.

I had to think about that one for a moment. 'That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career,' I finally managed to reply.

'Well,' said the boy's father, 'he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays'.

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25 The Roane Reader

Mother, Interrupted:

The Comforts of Parenthood (Not!) By: Debra Carpenter

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

--Lane Olinghouse Life is funny. You get all comfortable with one thing, and then before you know it, it’s time for something new. You finally figure out your neighbor’s WiFi password (“FlexingHard�? Seriously?), and then they suddenly change it, throwing your life into a chaotic jumble. You miraculously manipulate your child’s bedtime to happening (somehow!) before 10:00 P.M., and the next thing you know, they’re back in the “wake-every-4-hours� thing that makes you wake up looking ugly and feeling tired. At least, you hope that’s what’s doing it.

So, about the comfort thing. I’ve gotten pretty comfortable with this column. And I guess some readers have too, because you guys have finally begun opening up to me (electronically)! I’m thrilled about that, because I always wanted friends that I could refer to as “my fanbase.� When I try that with my other friends, my “real friends� (not imaginary), they laugh at me, hard, and usually everyone around joins in at some point. Not comfortable.

In the past week, I have received more comments and questions from readers than ever. As it turns out, some of you are having a wee bit of trouble figuring your lives out. This is only apparent because you are asking a 22 year old for advice. But don’t feel bad, because we all need help from those younger than us at times. Why, just yesterday, I asked my nearly-3-year old to fetch me a magazine (she said no). And the other day, I happily held the door open for an awkwardly long amount of time (you know what I mean) while an older lady went into the Post Office. Harmony between the generations just warms my soul. Bless it.

Back to comfort--it’s interesting how we get comfortable in certain situations, even those that are not the best for us, or that are not our first choice. The job you work because you need the money, the classes you take because they’re required, and the house you rent because you can’t afford to buy just yet. It’s unbelievably easy to get comfortable in these circumstances and forget that we have to move forward.

Just like sitting in a soaked diaper might feel comfortable at first—stop looking at me like that, I’m not speaking from experience—everyone knows, even my toddler, that the feeling of comfort diminishes real quickly and that diaper gets cold. Being content is no match for being happy.

Comfort is nice, but it always leaves you wanting (not that discomfort is any better). That’s what I tell myself over and over as I navigate the often-uncomfortable waters of parenthood and struggle to find out the “one best way� to do everything. I’ll be honest with you—I haven’t found any shortcuts or tricks for parenting. I call parenting “uncomfortable� because the definition of comfortable is “being in a state of physical or mental comfort; contented and undisturbed; at ease�, which is, like, the exact opposite of parenting. I’m not complaining. I love being a mother, and I would trade the comforts of an undisturbed life without spawn for this frenzied, often-interrupted (hence the name of the column) life full of love that I’ve somehow made for myself, any day. Love, Mom Email me at interruptedmom@gmail.com or visit the website at www.motherinterrupted.com

26 The Roane Reader

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May 2013

In spite of the stock market rally over the last three months, a handful of billionaires are quietly dumping their American stocks . . . and fast. - Bob Tonachio Warren Buffett, who has been a cheerleader for U.S. stocks for quite some time, is dumping shares at an alarming rate. He recently complained of “disappointing performance” in dyed-in-the-wool American companies like Johnson & Johnson, Procter & Gamble, and Kraft Foods. In the latest filing for Buffett’s holding company Berkshire Hathaway, Buffett has been drastically reducing his exposure to stocks that depend on consumer purchasing habits. Berkshire sold roughly 19 million shares of Johnson & Johnson, and reduced his overall stake in “consumer product stocks” by 21%. Berkshire Hathaway also sold its entire stake in California-based computer parts supplier Intel. With 70% of the U.S. economy dependent on consumer spending, Buffett’s apparent lack of faith in these companies’ future prospects is worrisome. Unfortunately Buffett isn’t alone. Fellow billionaire John Paulson, who made a fortune betting on the subprime mortgage meltdown, is clearing out of U.S. stocks too. During the second quarter of the year, Paulson’s hedge fund, Paulson & Co., dumped 14 million shares of JP Morgan Chase. The fund also dumped its entire position in discount retailer Family Dollar and consumergoods maker Sara Lee. Finally, billionaire George Soros recently sold nearly all of his bank stocks, including shares of JP Morgan Chase, Citigroup, and Goldman Sachs. Between the three banks, Soros sold more than a million shares.

So why are these billionaires dumping their shares of U.S. companies?

After all, the stock market is still in the midst of its historic rally. Real estate prices have finally leveled off, and for the first time in five years are actually rising in many locations. And the unemployment rate seems to have stabilized. It’s very likely that these professional investors are aware of specific research that points toward a massive market correction, as much as 90%. One such person publishing this research is Robert Wiedemer, an esteemed economist and author of the New York Times best-selling book Aftershock. Before you dismiss the possibility of a 90% drop in the stock market as unrealistic, consider Wiedemer’s credentials.

In 2006, Wiedemer and a team of economists accurately predicted the collapse of the U.S. housing market, equity markets, and consumer spending that almost sank the United States. They published their research in the book America’s Bubble Economy. The book quickly grabbed headlines for its accuracy in predicting what many thought would never happen, and quickly established Wiedemer as a trusted voice. A columnist at Dow Jones said the book was “one of those rare finds that not only predicted the subprime credit meltdown well in advance, it offered Main Street investors a winning strategy that helped avoid the forty percent losses that followed . . .”The chief investment strategist at Standard & Poor’s said that Wiedemer’s track record “demands our attention.” And finally, the former CFO of Goldman Sachs said Wiedemer’s “prescience in (his) first book lends credence to the new warnings. This book deserves our attention.” Wiedemer calmly laid out a clear explanation of why a large drop of some sort is a virtual certainty. It starts with the reckless strategy of the Federal Reserve to print a massive amount of money out of thin air in an attempt to stimulate the economy. “These funds haven’t made it into the markets and the economy yet. But it is a mathematical certainty that once the dam breaks, and this money passes through the reserves and hits the markets, inflation will surge,” said Wiedemer. “Once you hit 10% inflation, 10-year Treasury bonds lose about half their value. And by 20%, any value is all but gone. Interest rates will increase dramatically at this point, and that will cause real estate values to collapse. And the stock market will collapse as a consequence of these other problems.” And this is where Wiedemer explains why Buffett, Paulson, and Soros could be dumping U.S. stocks: “Companies will be spending more money on borrowing costs than business expansion costs. That means lower profit margins, lower dividends, and less hiring. Plus, more layoffs.”No investors, let alone billionaires, will want to own stocks with falling profit margins and shrinking dividends. So if that’s why Buffett, Paulson, and Soros are dumping stocks, they have decided to cash out early and leave Main Street investors holding the bag.

Do Main Street investors have to see their investment and retirement accounts decimated for the second time in five years? Wiedemer’s book, AfterShock contains a comprehensive blueprint for economic survival that’s really commanding global attention.

For a free copy of Robert Wiedmer’s book “AfterShock”…and a blueprint for survival in today’s markets, Contact: Bob Tonachio, CEO, Robert James & Associates, Inc. 865-376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700… Email: robjames1@msn.com

Something Missing?

Last week, Vicky, a distraught wife went to the local police station along with her nextdoor neighbour, Pauline, to report that her husband was missing.

The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.

Vicky described him clearly and in detail, 'He is 35 years old, 6 ft 4 inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is softly-spoken and is fabulous with the children.

Pauline interrupts her protesting, 'Why Vicky, your husband is 5 ft 8 inches, corpulent, bald, has a big mouth, and is horrid to your children.

Vicky replied, with a sigh, 'Yes, but who wants HIM back?'

Mother's Day Joke A mother and her young son returned from the grocery shop and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.

"What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained.

Happy Birthday

nicole truax MAY 20th

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May 2013

Report from the State Senate

Job Openings Name: Bojangles Lowe's Home Improvement Victorian Square Assisted Living Silver Angels of Roane

Address 1917 Roane State Highway Harriman, Tn 37748 1800 Roane State Highway Harriman, Tn 37748 241 S. Chamberlain Ave, Rockwood, Tn 37854 2004 North Gateway Avenue Suite B Rockwood, Tn 37854

Phone

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Management/Hourly Crew Member

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Store Seasonal Employee - Cashier Customer Service Associate Lumber/Building Materials

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Business Directory Name A & C Cleaners

Address 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763

6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 104 Thomas Dr Harriman, Tn 37748 427 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748

Phone (865) 376-4589 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290 (865) 882-5300 (865) 590-0819 (423) 745-4752 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 717-7727 (865) 376-2121 (ext.102) (865) 591-6900 (865) 250-3656 (865) 882-5309 (865) 804-4400 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-4000 (865) 590-7237 (865) 376-1949 (865) 882-9070 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-3007 (865) 882-6462 (865) 354-2806 (865) 376-3030 (865) 354-2802 (865) 717-8288 (865) 266-3638 (865) 376-3060 (865) 986-4264 (865) 230-9944 (865) 617-2468 (865) 376-4925 1 (800) 530-5700 (865) 354-0600 (864) 640-1654 (865) 223-3976 (615) 741-1449 (865) 882-2416 (865) 376-0321 (865) 882-0110 (865) 882-6676

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1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854

Bobs Burgers Cash 2 You Clayton Homes (Athens) Eagle Mart Eddies Body Shop Fraker Funeral Home Coldwell Banker (Glenda Johnson) Grasscutters

3209 Roane St. Highway Harriman, Tn 37748 426 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748 2104 S. Congress Parkway 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763

420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748

(865) 882-1900

241 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854

(865) 354-1133

410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763

Guinnbilt Portable Buildings Harriman Home Center Harriman Jewelry Harriman Steaks and Diner Hester's Body Shop Hester's Quilting Hugh Russell Motors, LLC Huxford Automotive Hwy 29-A Motors Inc J & B Furniture Jamestowne Junior's Restaurant Kingston Express Lube Kingston Music & More Kittrell's Kitchen Logs to Lumber Memory Lane Antiquates Peach Pit

1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 211 N Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 233 W. Rockwood St Rockwood, Tn 37854 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 155 East Race St. Kingston,Tn 37763 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771 507 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748 212 N. Gateway Ave. Rockwood,Tn 37854

Robert James & Associates

615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763

S.L. Bowman & Sons

521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854

707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 509 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 812 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 210 Franklin St. Kingston, Tn 37763

Seal Coat Specialist Senator Ken Yager Sextons Shelton Financial Protection Southeast Auto Sales Spot Café Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. Victorian Square Assisted Living

27 The Roane Reader

By: Senator Ken Yager

The first Session of the 108 General Assembly adjourned Friday afternoon, April 19, until January 14, 2014, when it reconvenes at noon. It has been many years since the legislature adjourned this early. By getting our job done early, we saved taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars.

One of the final acts of the General Assembly is to pass the completed budget for the fiscal year beginning July 1, 2013 and lasting through June 30 of 2014. In fact, the only responsibility of the legislature mentioned in the Constitution is the passage of a balanced budget. The new budged meets basic needs of the state, reduces taxes and adds to the rainy day fund.

There is very little borrowed money in this budget. In fact, Tennessee has the lowest per capita debt in the Nation. We have been blessed with good governors present and past who have kept the State on a pay-as-you-go basis. Note, too, that the budget, in the Senate, passed unanimously with Democrats and Republicans working together.

The budget process starts almost immediately after the General Assembly convenes in January. The Governor makes his budget address in early February. The different state departments make presentations to specific committees (State and Local Government, which I chair, hears fourteen departmental budgets) which make recommendations to the Finance, Ways and Means Committee.

Finance hears all these recommendations and makes the final recommendation to the legislature which usually approves as it did this year. In Tennessee we take fiscal responsibility very seriously and our budget must be balanced, which it is.

The total budget for this fiscal year is $32.7 billion and reduces taxes by $43 million (sales tax on food, Hall income tax, death tax).

The largest single percentage (about 37%) of general fund spending is health and welfare (largely TennCare). The second largest spending category is education (34%). All state employees will get an across the board raise of 1.5%.

Money for grades K-12 is calculated by a formula called the BEP formula. This year the formula is fully funded. K-12 also receives additional funds to pay for technology upgrades and $34 million to address capital needs, including school security. Higher education – Roane State and the Harriman Technology Center—got a big boost with additional appropriations for equipment and capital expenditure.

Please feel free to call our office with your questions about the budget, or any other matter, at 615-741-1449 or toll free at 1-800-449-8366 EXT 11449

Contact Senator Ken Yager 'LVWULFW 2఺FH

P.O. Box 346 Harriman, TN 37748 865-285-9797

1DVKYLOOH 2఺FH 6 Legislative Plaza Nashville, TN 37243 Phone: (615) 741-1449 Fax: (615) 253-0237

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