1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748
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RoaneReader FREE
Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!
Established 1993
March 2016
Distributed
VOLUME 23
NUMBER 5
7,500
Little River - A Serial ............... 28 By Rachel Holbrook
Precious Memories ................. 2 By Kay Christopher
Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips
Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts
Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers
Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes
Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings
Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes
According to the Almanac ......... 5 When to do what
Never Loose Money .................. 14 By Bob Tonachio
Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly
Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults
Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses
Can You Find Me多 ................... 22
FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER pg.31 and @
www.roanereader.com/findone Pick one up before they are all gone!
By The Phantom
Pets Page ................................... 23 Tips for your pets
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SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY
By O.I. Seenya • What happen at the special “call to” meeting concerning the city treasurer and financial office position??
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THIS IS THE LAST MESSAGE ABOUT MY DOG!
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March 2016
Precious Memories By: Kay Christopher
The old party lines
PLEASE DON'T BOTHER ME ANYMORE! Growing up in my day and time was rough compared to today’s generation of kids. In response to all the recent e-mails about my dog. I was probably 10 years old before we ever had a telephone. Please be advised, I'm sick and tired of answering Everyone’s phone number was two digits, then after 100 people got For your information phones, the phone numbers went to 3 digits. I remember my aunts questions about him. •The spring equinox brings the phone number was 882, which was the numbers later used when Yes. he bit six people wearing Obama T-shirts, four seven numbers were required to call someone in the Harriman area. start of spring, around March 21. people wearing Hillary T-shirts. two car drivers You would pick up the phone, and a real live operator would come At the equinox, day and night are of about equal length. blasting Rap music from their vehicles, nine on and say, “Number, please”. You told her the number you wanted •The summer solstice, which teenagers with their pants hanging past their butt connected to, and she did it for you. happens around June 21, has the A few years later, the operator’s voice disappeared, and the dial was cracks, three flag burners and a taxi driver from the invented, followed by the push button phone. longest daylight time. It's also the first day of summer. If you couldn’t afford a phone bill, you could get what was called Middle East. •Fall begins at the fall equinox, a party line. We had one of those and it was so disappointing to run For the last time ... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE! around September 21. Day and to the phone to call a friend and someone was already on it. You had No. I do not approve of his smoking, but he says it to wait until they decided to hang up to use it. And if they were real night are of about equal length. •The winter solstice, around helps get the "bad taste" out of his mouth. talkers, that could be hours. There was no signal to let you know December 21, has the shortest they had hung up, so you had to just keep picking the phone up and daylight time and officially kicks checking. This was also very irritating for the person sharing the line A long service off winter. with you. Gladys attended church services every Sunday, but on this one particular Sunday the sermon seemed to Getting a phone call was exciting, too. When it would ring, all us go on forever and many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be social, Gladys walked kids would fight to the death at who could answer it first. up to a very sleepy looking gentleman. In an attempt to revive him from his stupor, she walked up close I recall daddy not really caring much for a phone. One day, I was and said, "I'm Gladys Dunn." To this the gentleman replied, "So am I." on the front porch, and the phone rang. I thought someone was in the living room, so I didn’t get up to answer it. This made daddy mad, and the next thing I remember, the phone came flying across the living room floor, and landed out onto the porch. He had jerked it plum out of the wall and threw it outside! Can you imagine today, having to wait until someone gets off their phone before you could use yours? Kids nowadays have it made, but they don't realize it anymore than we did when we were their age.
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There are many events that occur during the year that can affect your tax situation. Preparation of your tax return involves summarizing transactions and events that occurred during the prior year. In most situations, treatment is firmly established at the time the transaction occurs. However, negative tax effects can be avoided by proper planning. Please contact us, COCHRANS TAX in advance if you have questions about the tax effects of a transaction or event, including the following: • Pension or IRA distributions
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w w w. c o c h r a n s t a x . c o m
Top Ten Reasons men prefer guns over women (Stolen from David Letterman)
#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. #9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road. #8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. #7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup. #6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo. #5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space #4 - Guns function normally every day of the month. #3 - A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?" #2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it. And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women..... #1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun!
Ladies...Just in case you’re confused, GOD will never send you someone else’s husband.
The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.
March 2016
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Prayers for Kayden Kayden Christopher is 6 1/2 months old. He is from Harriman and is the son of Matt Christopher, and grandson of Kay & Larry Christopher. Kayden has an inoperable brain tumor. He is presently at St. Judes in Memphis to begin chemo. Although doctors have said there is nothing that can be done to help Kayden, we are asking for prayers and help. Kayden is expected to be at St. Judes for at least 4-6 months. A family member must be with him 24 hours a day to monitor his progress. Although his medical and lodging bills are paid by St. Judes, there are other expenses, such as food and transportation to and from Memphis to enable a family member to rotate staying there with him. Kayden has an account at ORNL Federal Credit Union (acct. # 107004252120) for donations to help pay for the expenses. A “www.gofundme.com” account has also been set up on Facebook. We know God can heal Kayden, and with your prayers, maybe God will intervene and perform a miracle on little Kayden. __________________________________________________________________________________________________
Where to look in the Bible when you...
We Just Thought You’d Like To Know.. If you mess up a voicemail to someone, press # to erase and re-record When ordering coffee , ask for a medium in a large cup, they’ll accidentally over fill it and you’ll get a cheap large coffee. You can heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick. In areas with lots of red lights, going the exact speed will help you hit more green lights. If someone presses all of the buttons on an elevator, you can avoid stopping at each floor by pressing each button twice. If you ever get trapped in your car underwater, use the headrest to break the window. Need to tell a believable lie? Include an embarrassing detail, nobody doubts a story that makes you look dumb.
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need rest and peace............................Matthew 11:28-30 worry................................................... Matthew 6:19-34 are lonely or fearful...........................................Psalm 23 need peace of mind...........John 14:27, Philippians 4:6-8 are disappointed by people................................Psalm 27 grow bitter or critical.............................1 Corinthians 13 have sinned........................................Psalm 51, 1 John 1 are discouraged.................................................Psalm 34 feel God seems far away.................................Psalm 139 think the world seems bigger than God............Psalm 90 are sick..............................................................Psalm 41 feel sorrowful.....................................John 14, Psalm 46 are in danger.....................................................Psalm 91 want courage...............................................Joshua 1:1-9 need assurance.................................................Romans 8 forget your blessings.......................................Psalm 103 are looking for joy.......................................Colossians 3 leave home to travel........................................Psalm 121 think of investments.................................Mark 10:17-31 need guidelines for living........Matthew 5-7, Romans 12 need rules of conduct..............................Exodus 20:1-17 need to know God's will for your life.......Proverbs 3:1-6
4 The Roane Reader
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Entertainment
Interesting facts about some celebrities 1. When Christian Bale started promoting his role as the great protector of Gotham, he did his interviews with an American accent. He didn't think the American public could deal with the reality of a British Batman. 2. Tim Lambesis was the lead singer of As I Lay Dying, a Christian hardcore band. Lambesis's own beliefs? Atheist. 3. Alice Cooper, shocking public figure though he is, is a practicing Christian and leads a Bible study. 4. Thomas F. Wilson famously played the bully in Back to the Future, but in real life, the actor had been the victim of bullying. 5. Even though Daniel Dae Kim's character didn't speak English in Lost, in real life, Kim didn't speak Korean. He took classes in order to accurately play the part. 6. Cliff Curtis is of New Zealand Maori descent. But in his movies, he's played Arab, Persian, Greek, Mexican, you name it. 7. A lot of people assume Ozzy Osbourne is a Satanist, but he's actually a follower of the Anglican Church. 8. Joseph Fiennes is a Catholic. Ironically, he played Martin Luther, the leader of the protestant reformation, who split from the Catholic Church. 9. Sean Connery is only 12 years older than Harrison Ford, but he seemed to pull of his father pretty well in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. 10. Ralph Macchio played Daniel Larusso in the Karate Kid, and a lot of people said he looked too young and couldn't pull of being 17 years old. The actor was 23. 11. Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall played siblings in Dexter, but they actually got married in real life. They did eventually get a divorce towards the end of the shows run. 12. The actor who played Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, Jon Gries, is a vegan. When he ate steak in the movie, he spit it out at the end of the take.
AN OLD IRISH BLESSING. May God be with you and bless you. May you see your children's children. May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings. May you know nothing but happiness. From this day forward. Matthew Libby
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Just a Nurse? Three nurses have spent the last 7 hours, of their 10 hour shift on their feet. And yes, she knows you want another cup of Tea but, the man they brought in last night has just crapped on himself, for the 3rd time today, and his daughter is visiting him from out of town so...... Meanwhile a patient.... *Needs to pee. *2 families are calling for status updates. *One patient is LOUDLY demanding pain meds. *A doctor is making his rounds. *3 heart monitors just got detached. *The pizza just arrived and she's short $1.50 of her portion. *She’s underpaid & overworked *The cafeteria is closed early today (hence the Pizza). *She has washed her hands for the 197th time today. *She just got called dumb by a person who didn't pass the 10th grade. *She literally CAN'T get the IV pump to stop beeping. *She just saved her 7 millionth patient, from being prescribed the wrong medicine. *And all 3 of them just lost their favorite patient. Meanwhile, you're ringing the buzzer nonstop, for a cup of Tea..... Male and Female Nurses,...we appreciate you!
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Yes, I said that…
March 2016
A school teacher’s list of “things I never thought I’d say, but now find perfectly necessary to say to ten-year-olds. •“Take your feet out from inside your desk.” •“Calling someone fat will hurt their feelings.” •“No, AIDS is not when you have an unidentifiable rash.” •“There are no weapons allowed in this classroom…real or imagined.” •“Pens WILL explode in your mouth if you chew on them.” •“If you don’t turn in your homework, you’re not going to get a grade.” •“You are a boy, not a dog. So, please get off the floor and get to work.” •“Headlocks are not allowed in this classroom.” •“Your eyes need to be open when you’re walking outside.” •“Please take your teeth out of your neighbor’s chair and get to work.” •“Put me down!” •“Left hand has the squishy. Right hand does the work.” •“Take your head out of your backpack. I’m sure your haircut looks great.” •“Please stop climbing the school building.” •“The back of your head looks great, but I prefer to see your lovely face when I’m talking to you.” •“Nope, you may not wear a Spiderman mask during school.” •“That’s what happens when you flip upside-down repeatedly: you make yourself throw up.” •“If you tell a little first grader that her brother died, she will believe you and be very upset…even if you were only joking.”
March 2016
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The lady and the cruise ship About 2 years ago, my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc., seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she has been on board for the last four cruises, back to back. As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises." She replied, "Yes that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied without a pause, "it's cheaper than a nursing home." So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I'm going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations with Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price for $135 per day. That leaves $65 for: 1. Gratuities which would only be $10 per day. 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day (of fantastic food, not institutional food) if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed everyday of the week). 3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night. 4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo. 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days! 7. TV broken? Lightbulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience. 8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them. 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade your suite for the rest of your life. 10 There is always a doctor on board. Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship. PS: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
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A letter to the IRS
To: Internal Revenue Service, Department of the Treasury Washington, DC 20001 Dear Sirs: Enclosed is my 2003 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats. Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00. Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value of $22.00, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund option on Form 1040. It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values. Sincerely, Another satisfied taxpayer
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according to the almanac March 2016 Temperature 53 (3 below avg.) Precipitation 5" (1” below avg.)
Mar 1-2: Sunny, cold; Mar 3-7: Rainy periods, turning warm; Mar 8-10: Sunny, cool; Mar 11-14: Rain, then sunny, cool; Mar 15-20: Rain periods south; cool; Mar 21-24: Rain, then sunny, cool; Mar 25-31: Showers, cool.
Best Days To....
Wean animals or children.................................27 Start projects......................................................10 Slaughter Livestock.....................................26,27 Set posts or pour concrete......................3,4,30,31 Quit smoking..................................................27 Prune to encourage growth........................18,19 Prune to discourage growth................1,2,28,29 Plant below ground crops...........................4,5,31 Plant above ground crops ...................1,27,28,29 Potty train children............................................27 Have dental care.....................................20,21,22 Harvest below ground crops..................3,4,30,31 Harvest above ground crops...................12,13,20 Destroy pests and weeds............................10,11 Cut Hay......................................................10,11 Cut hair to encourage growth......................12,13 Cut hair to discourage growth.....................24,25 Castrate animals............................................5,6,7 The Drunken Irishman Can, pickle, or make sauerkraut................26,27 A ventriloquist is telling Irish Breed animals..............................................26,27 jokes in a pub, when an irate Begin diet to lose weight..................................27 Irishman stands up and says, "You're making out we're all Begin diet to gain weight.............................12,17
dumb and stupid. I oughtta punch you in the nose." "I'm sorry sir, I... " Daffodil "Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking little s.o.b. on your March’s birth flower is the daffodil, which means unequaled love; the sun is always shining whenever your significant other is around. knee."
March’s Birth Flower
Happy Birthday J.R. Christopher Mar. 21st
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March 2016
Tribute:
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March 1st 1914 to August 13th 1980 Daughter - Sherrie Fay Owens March 12th 1963 to October 16th 2012 We will all be together again Daughter, Mom and Sisters Love and miss you
Pauline, Jennifer, Sheila & Sandra
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Tax Woes One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!" A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his arms around the boy, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened. "Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?" “No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS." A man about to have a heart transplant was offered the choice of either a 26 year-old marathon runner’s heart or the heart of a 62 year-old IRS agent. He picked the agent’s heart because he said it had never been used. One must take pride in paying up every April 15. Look at it this way: If you don't spend your dollars on the IRS, you'd probably just squander it on foolish things like food or rent.
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March 2016
Obituaries
Jan. 16th Wesley E. Brock, 75, Rockwood Jan. 18th Annie Harold, 52, Ten Mile Jan. 25th Jewel D. Cooper, 90, Rockwood Jan. 28th Irby H. Daniel ,90, Ten Mile Ronald L. Kisling, 54, Kingston Jan. 30th Barbara Roberts, 80, Harriman Luella C. Stage, 76, Rockwood Jan. 31st Louis E. Headrick, 89, Harriman Feb. 1st Carl E. Martin Sr., 68, Kingston Feb. 2nd
Feb. 8th Jason Lee Golliher, 39, Midtown Danny Tinnell, 66, Philadelphia Sammye Myers, Rockwood Keith Gibson, 60, Kingston Feb. 9th Betty C. Walker, 87, Harriman Steve Tomlinson, 70, Rockwood “Zeke” Davis, 79, Mount Vernal Feb. 10th Ruth Patterson, 86, Frost Bottom Feb. 11th Louis Phillips, 84, Oliver Spgs Margie Hughes, 87, Rockwood Feb. 12th Douglas Wineinger, 61, Ten Mile Feb. 13th Margaret Hedgecoth, 77, Harriman Mildred Cundiff, 79, Rockwood Janet Gasparetti, 71, Kingston Carson Norris, Sr. 68, Rockwood Gary Branham, 59, Oliver Spgs Feb. 15th Feb. 3rd Peggy Anderson, 55, Harriman George Mead, 89, Oliver Spgs "Libby" Strickland, 77, Oliver Spgs Feb. 16th Feb. 4th Jesse Ooten, 49, Rockwood John Kimbel, 82, Ten Mile Feb. 17th Feb. 5th Ardella Leigh, 101, Oliver Spgs Edna McNamer, Harriman Feb. 18th J.D. Williams, 91, Harriman Jessie Baird, 101, Westel Juanita R. Inman, 90, Harriman Feb. 19th "Angie" Parks, 43, Harriman Edward J. Byrnes, 86, Kingston Feb. 6th Elva Turpin Silvey, 69, Harriman Kenneth Frazier, 61, Harriman Ruby Kirkland, 79, Rockwood Feb. 7th Feb. 20th Ann O’Briant, 81, Kingston J. D. Sampson Sr., 72, Harriman Kenneth Daniel, 44, Rockwood
Henry Roberts, 86, Emory Heights
Pastor’s Announcement Before Offering:
“I would like to remind you that what you are about to give is deductible, cannot be taken with you and is considered in the Bible that the love of this is the root of all evil.”
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The “Tate” Family
How many members of the Tate family belong to your church? There is old man Dic-Tate who wants to run everything, while Uncle Ro-Tate tries to change everything. There’s sister Agi-Tate who stirs up plenty of trouble, with help from her husband, Irri-Tate. Whenever new projects are suggested, Hesi-Tate and his wife, Vege-Tate, want to wait until next year. Then there is Aunt Imi-Tate, who wants our church to be like all the others. Devas-Tate provides the voice of doom, while Poten-Tate wants to be a big shot. But not all members of the family are bad. Brother Facili-Tate is quite helpful in church matters. And a delightful, happy member of the family is Miss Felici-Tate. Cousins Cogi-Tate and Medi-Tate always think things over and lend helpful, steady hands. And of course there is the black sheep of the family, Ampu-Tate, who has completely cut himself off from the church. How about it – do you know anyone in the “Tate” family?
Jesus is Risen!
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The Story Behind the Star Spangled Banner On a rainy September 13, 1814, British warships sent a downpour of shells and rockets onto Fort McHenry in Baltimore Harbor, relentlessly pounding the American fort for 25 hours. The bombardment, known as the Battle of Baltimore, came only weeks after the British had attacked Washington, D.C., burning the Capitol, the Treasury and the President's house. It was another chapter in the ongoing War of 1812. A week earlier, Francis Scott Key, a 35-year-old American lawyer, had boarded the flagship of the British fleet on the Chesapeake Bay in hopes of persuading the British to release a friend who had recently been arrested. Key's tactics were successful, but because he and his companions had gained knowledge of the impending attack on Baltimore, the British did not let them go. They allowed the Americans to return to their own vessel but continued guarding them. Under their scrutiny, Key watched on September 13 as the barrage of Fort McHenry began eight miles away. "It seemed as though mother earth had opened and was vomiting shot and shell in a sheet of fire and brimstone," Key wrote later. But when darkness arrived, Key saw only red erupting in the night sky. Given the scale of the attack, he was certain the British would win. The hours passed slowly, but in the clearing smoke of "the dawn's early light" on September 14, he saw the American flag—not the British Union Jack—flying over the fort, announcing an American victory. Key put his thoughts on paper while still on board the ship, setting his words to the tune of a popular English song. His brother-in-law, commander of a militia at Fort McHenry, read Key's work and had it distributed under the name "Defense of Fort McHenry." The Baltimore Patriot newspaper soon printed it, and within weeks, Key's poem, now called "The Star-Spangled Banner," appeared in print across the country, immortalizing his words—and forever naming the flag it celebrated.
Bulletin Bloopers
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March 2016
Bible Beat
Bible Quest
How did Daniel react to the vision by the river Hiddekel? You can play this online @ Which Old Testament prophet was given a book to eat by God? www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/A16LazarusComeOut.html What was the name of the centurion who looked after Paul on the Lazarus, Come Out, John 11:1-7, 17-45 journey to Rome? Which book of the Bible comments that “dead flies cause the Today Jesus listens to our prayers. He uses paramedics to restart a patient’s heart. He uses doctors to clear the throat and lungs so that a patient can breathe again. In this way, Jesus is still healing people like he did Lazarus. ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savor?” This is Jesus saying to a loved one, “Come out of your tomb of death. Come back to the earthly world and live “Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man”, but what shall his a little longer with those who love you. I will take you to my heavenly kingdom later.” mouth be filled with afterwards? What does Zechariah see in a vision that destroys the houses of Across thieves and liars? 1. savior of How long did it take Solomon to build his own house? mankind At which battle were the Israelites defeated because Joshua 3. master attacked without seeking God’s guidance first? 9. fabric In the parable of the debtors, one owed 500 denarii (pence), but 10. trusts how much did the other one owe? What was the name of the man who was paralyzed and had been 11. in secret bedridden for eight years? 13. earth
Bible Quest Answers
(Dan 10:8) Ezekiel (Eze 3:2) (Acts 27:1) (Ecc 10:1)
(Pro 20:17) (Zec 5:1-4) (1 Ki 7:1) (Josh 7:5-12)
(Luke 7:41) (Acts 9:33)
Pre pay services
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awoke to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun came in to ask how he was going to pay for services. He was asked if he had health insurance. ”No health insurance,” he replied weakly. The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, “No money in the bank.” The nun then asked, “Do you have a relative who could help you?” He said, “I have only a spinster sister, and she’s a nun. ”The nun got a little perturbed and announced loudly. “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God,” “Yes, that’s right!” said the patient, perking up. “Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
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14. get together 15. coating for skin 16. crying 17. not sister 18. blessed 21. fastened 23. sweetsmelling 25. second person of Holy Trinity 26. praised 29. area 31. put down 32. mother of Jesus 33. maker of heaven and earth 34. sound of vocal chords
Down 1. holy city for Jews, Christians, and Muslims 2. rock 4. opposite of lived 5. hollowed out space under ground
6. opposite of brother 7. settlement smaller than a town 8. many people together 12. soothing 15. opposite of in 16. covered on all sides
WED. BIBLE STUDY 7:00 PM
19. burial place 20. savior from sin 22. putting into a grave 24. strongly 27. had a strong liking for 28. go above 30. attend
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March 2016
You can play this online @
www.joanyedwards.com/wordsearch/A16LazarusComeOut.html
Lazarus, Come Out, John 11:1-7, 17-45 If you are sad in the morning, imagine Jesus saying to you, "Come out. Arise and enjoy this day I made just for you. I will do something special for you today. This favor of mine will show you how much I love you." Now look at yourself in the mirror. God made you. You are a wonderful person with helpful hands and a loving heart. There is no other person who is exactly like you. Name ten good things about you. Then smile and do something to praise the Lord. J X J Y P W X N K N U E V O I C E C V Z
E J I E O E T V W C Q U I C K L Y N I I
R I S H W M R R L B U R I A L S H I L P
U L Q S B S A T O O W S H O U S E P L L
S L B M T P M R U U V D O T F L T A A Y
anointed believes Bethany brother burial cave cloth come comforting crowd days deeply died
A &
A N B E P E S E Y R B E E N Q I C Z G Y
L E A E L D N T S K B L D E E E A B E M
E S D M O I N C O S D E E D P R I L W C
M S Q E I E E V H N I N D D U L O I O P
glorified God house illness Jerusalem Jesus Jews Judea lay Lazarus Lord loved Martha
Y C M E L D W V I O E A E S F R Y M R E
O Z D T C O M E E M P N H Q D C F M L R
G L O R I F I E D S J C A V E O A B D F
V K R E S U R R E C T I O N R R R S C U
W C J H U A N O I N T E D T T O E J L M
Mary meet Messiah oil out perfumed perturbed place quickly resurrection rise secretly sister
E A L U T D A D X J Q G I H T C U S O E
E K L A Y O F V O E R N A H R D D I T D
P G T O O M M U G S G F E E E A Z S H E
I O R I S E T B Z U I R T A Y G D T B Y
N D B E T H A N Y S V L L S P X V E J A
son stench stone tied tomb troubled village voice weeping world wrapped
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Bible Beat
9 The Roane Reader
Bible Trivia
Greeting people at the door after Easter services, Pastor Jane was delighted to shake hands with “Seldom-Seen” Steve, and even more delighted when he complimented her on her sermon and said service was “amazing.” Faced with such evidence of faithfulness, she asked why he didn’t come to church more often. “I’m just following the Lord’s example,” he said. “If Christ can rise up early only one Sunday a year, that’s good enough for me, too!”
How old was Abram when he first became a father? How old was David when he died? How long was Noah’s ark? During Paul’s third missionary journey, roughly for how long did he minister in the school of Tyrannus at Ephesus? What does James say “envying and strife in your heart” brings? Which honorable counselor was waiting for the Kingdom of God? One of the Ten Commandments forbids the coveting of a neighbor’s property. Which one? What did God specifically command concerning the eating of the thanksgiving offering that the Israelites made? Which tribe’s blessing from Jacob said they would “dwell at the haven of the sea”? Jesus accused the Pharisees of hypocritically paying tithes on herbs, and omitting which weightier matters of the law?
Happy Birthday
Trivia Answers Eighty-six years (Gen 16:16) Seventy (2 Sam 5:4) 300 cubits / 450 feet (Gen 6:15) Two years (Acts 19:10) Confusion and every evil work (Jam 3:16) Joseph of Arimathea (Mark
Polly Eaton
March 7th
15:43) Tenth (Exo 20:17) They must eat it on the day it is offered. (Lev 7:15; 22:30) Zebulun (Gen 49:13) Judgment, mercy, and faith (Matt 23:23)
Give me the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to accept the things I can’t, and the brains to call a plumber if I’m not exactly sure.
edeemed
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April 23, 2016 8:30 - 4:00
before
march 15, 2016
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after
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for ages 13 and up
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for additional information or questions contact:
Beth Crass (865) 882-0058
Kim Smith (865) 384-1614
Email Questions To:
conference@bigemorychurch.com
Register Online @
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Sheila Thornton (865) 414-1609
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Tennessee Trivia
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Lessons Learned
Grocery gimmicks to take your money
1. Let the manager know when a What do you know about the great state you live in? restaurant's restroom isn't clean. 1) What year was the World's Fair held in Knoxville? Or even when it is! 2) What was the name of the Cherokee Village from which the 2. Own a world globe. name Tennessee was derived? 3. Never call anyone stupid, even 3) What 3 United States presidents lived in Tennessee? if you're kidding. 4. Say a prayer for the presi4) What special event took place on June 1, 1796? 5) What architect is buried in a vault in the north wall of the state dent--even if he didn't get your vote. capitol building? 5. Offer your place in line at the 6) What are the four state songs of Tennessee? grocery store check-out if the 7) What Tennessean was the winner of 3 gold medals in Olympic person behind you has only two track competition in 1960? or three items. 6. Never buy an article of cloth8) What was the name of the "gay nineties" resort in Anderson County that consisted of 150 rooms and 4 stories and attracted the ing thinking it will fit if you lose a couple of pounds. well-to-do of this country and Europe? 9) Under which president's administration was the Tennessee Valley 7. Root for your team to win, not for the other team to lose. Authority formed in 1933? 8. Always watch the high school 10) What is Tennessee chief manufacturing industry? bands' halftime performances. ANSWERS: They practiced just as hard as the football teams. 1982 9. When a child is selling someTanasi thing for a dime, give a quarter. Andrew Jackson, James K. Polk and Andrew Johnson 10. Carry a couple of inexpenTennessee was admitted to the Union as a state. sive umbrellas in your car that you can give to people caught William Strickland, builder. The Tennessee Waltz, When It's Iris Time in Tennessee, My Tennes- in the rain. see, and Rocky Top The Shamrock Wilma Rudolph Legend and tradition states that Oliver Springs Hotel the shamrock was a vital part of St. Patrick’s teachings. He used Franklin D. Roosevelt its three rounded leaves growing Chemicals on a single stem as a natural symbol simplify the concept of the Trinity. It is also said that the deep green color of the shamrock, What causes "March winds?" A scientific study of wind tells us that which became Ireland’s emblem, wind is caused by changes in temperature in the atmosphere and on cancels out the superstition that the ground. it is bad luck to wear green. Warmer air expands and rises in the atmosphere; then cooler air It is a traditional icon of the rushes in to replace the warmer air. "March winds" are cyclical day, and this stems from how winds that come with Spring and warmer temperatures. A famous Patrick used the three-leafed old saying about March winds is, "If March comes in like a lion, it'll shamrock to explain the Trinity. go out like a lamb. If it comes in like a lamb, it'll go out like a lion." He used it in his sermons to Either way, the saying goes, strong winds will come sometimes in represent how the Father, Son, March. and the Holy Spirit could all exist as separate elements of the same entity. His followers adopted the custom of wearing a shamrock on his feast day.
March Winds
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Happy Birthday
Sam Sandifer Mar. 27th
March 2016
Rip Off #1: Big Packages Watch out for stores trying to trick you into thinking the biggest package means the best value. Outsmart it by scanning the shelf tag for the cost per unit – you might find that the medium size offers the best value. No shelf tag? Bring a pocket calculator (or use the one on your phone) and divide the cost by the number of ounces or grams.
Bonus Tip: If you have a coupon, do your calculations after you factor in the
savings it provides. Rip Off #2: Salad and Hot-Food Bars
There’s nothing wrong with hitting one of those bars for a quick entree or side dish for tonight’s dinner, but be careful what you choose, since everything is priced per pound. If you’re buying an inexpensive item such as macaroni and cheese or baked means for example, you could end up paying far too much. Purchase only items that are pricey to begin with, such as roast beef and chicken parmesan. Just don’t be fooled into spending $4 on 15 cents worth of Jell-O.
Rip Off #3: Packaged Sliced Lunch Meat Cold cuts are convenient, but you pay a premium for pre-slicing and packaging. A 7.5 ounce container of sliced ham can run more than $10 per pound, while a larger smoked ham- which you could also use for dinners – is usually far less at about $3 a pound. Buy uncut ham and slice it yourself for sandwiches. Serve thicker slices for dinners and use smaller pieces to flavor soups or pastas. Freeze anything you don’t want to use right away. Do the same with a whole turkey breast.
Bonus Tip: If you opt to buy deli meat, compare the per-pound prices of pre-sliced and sliced-to-order meats.
Rip Off #4: Bottled Water Supermarkets devote shelves to bottled water, and often have refrigerated bottles at the register, too. Even at its cheapest, 1 cent per ounce of bottled water is still more than 300 times as costly as tap water. If you drink one 16-ounce bottle of water every day for a year at $1.50 per bottle, you’re spending more than $545. Multiply that by every person in your household! Drink your tap water. Install a filter if taste or contaminants are a concern (you can find a faucet-mounted Pur filter online for as little as $35 and it filters about 100 gallons of water).
Rip-Off #5: Sale Prices in Multiples Do you go straight for those three-for-$5 deals in the store? Who doesn’t? But watch out for such sales. Some prompt you to buy more than you otherwise would. For example, a 10-for-$10 deal on apples might sound great, until you realize you’re paying $1 per apple, perhaps a worse deal than if you just buy the three you want.
March 2016
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NOTICE TO HIKERS, HUNTERS AND ALL WHO FREQUENT THE FORESTS
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11 The Roane Reader
Tennessee’s Best Pizza (According to the Food Network) The chef-owner of this popular musicians’ hangout ordered pork bellies one day but didn’t know what to do with them — he didn’t have a smoker, so making bacon was out. Instead, Tandy Wilson brined the bellies for five days, then roasted them, and the result was pork belly ham. He puts chunks of it on this pizza, along with house-made mozzarella, oregano and a shot of chili oil, then he slips the pie into a wood-fired oven. $13; City House: Nashville 1222 4th Ave.
Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters it is advised that all persons wear noisy little bells on clothing so as to give advance warning to any bears that might be close by so you don't take them by surprise. Also it is advised to carry "Pepper Spray" in case of an encounter with a bear. Always be on the alert for fresh bear activity and be able to tel1 the difference between black bear and grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces contain lots of berry seeds and may have rodent fur in it. Grizzly feces have bells in it and smell like pepper.
The Mugger
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Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"
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12 The Roane Reader
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March 2016
Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes
Household Hints Remove onion smell from your hands by first washing them with soap and water. Then while hands are still wet rub them over the faucet spout. "No more smelly hands".
HATTIE SHILLINGS
If you drop a can of soda or it gets shaken up, to keep it from Pizza Spaghetti Casserole exploding when you pop the top, use your thumb and middle finger 2 ounces sliced pepperoni to thump up and down the side of the can as you rotate it for about 1 lb. Ground meat (I like turkey) 1 16 oz. box uncooked spaghetti noodles 1 (26 ounce) jar pasta sauce 20 seconds. Then you can pop the top and enjoy. ½ teaspoon salt 1 16 oz. can diced Italian style tomatoes Before storing clothes that have been dry cleaned, remove them from ½ teaspoon Oregano ¼ cup grated parmesan cheese the plastic bag, as the bag may cause clothes to yellow. ½ teaspoon garlic powder 1 (8 oz) package shredded Italian cheese blend Any other pizza toppings, you can add like Black If your dryer seems to take longer to dry the clothes then it used ½ Cup Milk olives, sausage, onions, green peppers, etc... too, remove the screen filter and scrub both sides with a soft brush 1 Egg in warm soapy water(an old toothbrush works well).Then rinse Boil water & salt for Spaghetti noodles, once it starts boiling, add noodles. Brown meat in a separate thoroughly and dry, before putting back in dryer. This will also help frying pan. Once noodles are cooked, drain and put in a casserole dish. In a separate bowl, combine your heating element last longer. Repeat as necessary. milk & egg & whisk. Poor over pasta & add jar of sauce, can of tomatoes, garlic powder, & oregano. Keep a bottle of Dawn original blue dish detergent on hand, it's a Mix all together well. On top of pasta mixture, layer the ground meat, then add a layer of pepperonis. great degreaser as well as a spot remover. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese, & Italian cheese. And layer more pepperoni. Bake in the oven at 350 for 30 To remove the smell of smoke place bowls of white vinegar around minutes.
Company Chicken Casserole
the house to absorb the odor.
1/2 lemon sprinkled with table salt can be used safely to clean or remove stains from granite. For stains leave lemon and salt on stain to soak, then rinse with clean water and dry. Dampen a cloth with white vinegar then sprinkle cream of tartar on the cloth to clean porcelain.
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts 1 cup chicken broth 2 cloves garlic 2 wedges of onion 4 cups Pepperidge Farms Herb seasoned stuffing mix
1 cube butter (1/2 cup) 1 can Cream of Chicken soup 1 pint sour cream 8 oz frozen broccoli cuts – thawed
MAKE YOUR OWN ADHESIVES Mix 3 pkgs. unflavored gelatin with 1 Tbsp. cold water and 3 Tbsp. boiling water. Stir until dissolved. Add 1/2 tsp. peppermint oil. Store it in a small covered tub. It will congeal so to use it, microwave for 10 seconds on high.
Place chicken breasts, broth, garlic and onion in a skillet and bring just to a boil over medium high heat, turn heat down to medium, cover and simmer until pink is gone – 15-20 min. Remove chicken and shred with a fork and set aside. Reserve the broth (this should equal about 1 cup, but if it doesn’t add enough canned broth to equal a cup). Melt the butter and pour over stuffing mix in a bowl and REMOVAL OF ADHESIVE STICKERS For stickers on glass use whisk with a fork to blend. Spread half of the stuffing/butter mixture in a large casserole dish or glass vegetable oil. Soak the item in oil for a couple minutes to remove 9 x 13” pan. Blend the soup, sour cream and reserved broth together with a wire whisk. Place shredded chicken over the layer of stuffing mix. If using broccoli, spread this over the chicken. Pour the the sticker easily. soup mixture over the chicken, then top with the remaining stuffing mixture. Bake for 30 min at 350°. Salt and lemon juice mixed together remove mildew stains.
Rachael's Sautéed Squash
Home Cooked Meals
Breakfast
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1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, TN (865) 376.3060
•1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil •2 tablespoons butter •1/2 red bell pepper, chopped •2 small to medium yellow squash, sliced
•Salt and pepper •2 tbsp chopped parsley leaves •2 tbsp chopped chives or 2 scallions, optional
Preheat skillet over medium high heat. Add oil, then butter. When butter melts, add red peppers and squash. Saute 12 to 14 minutes until squash is tender. Add salt, pepper and parsley. Add chives or scallions if you would like a layer of light onion flavor on the dish as well.
“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” NOTICE
Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences.
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March 2016
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The History of 'APRONS' I don't think our kids know what an apron is. The principle use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only...had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven. It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears. From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven. When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.. And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms. Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron. From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees. When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in seconds. When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner. It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes. Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons. REMEMBER: Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw. They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron. I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love
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Penny Pinchers TOILET BOWL CLEANER Pour a can of soft drink in your toilet bowl and let 20 mins. Brush and flush for a clean toilet bowl. Old pantyhose makes a great scrubber for the bathtub and sink. BANANA HANGER Buy a long utility hook and screw it beneath one of your kitchen cabinets. Hang your bananas on it. BATHROOM CLEANING MADE EASIER Mix equal parts epsom salts and liquid dish detergent and scrub down the bath tub, sink, or shower area with it. ANT KILLER Buy a 5 or 10 lb. pkg. of unflavored instant grits and sprinkle them lightly around wherever the ants have built their colonies. They will flock to the grits immediately, eat them, and the grits will make the ants implode and destroy them. BUG KILLER Mix 1 tsp. sugar with 1 cup baking soda and spread it around where bugs might crawl. The sugar will attract them to eat, but the baking soda will kill them as they cannot digest it. This recipe is not harmful to humans or animals. Refresh your old air freshener in your car by dropping some of your favorite essential oil on it. Just a few drops. If your white grout isn't so white anymore you can paint it with Wite-Out white correction fluid for typing errors. Just paint it on the grout to cover up the stains. When your clothes are not dirty but have some kind of odors on them, simply put them in the dryer with a couple sheets of fabric softener and toss for a few minutes on the air only cycle. Make your own herbal teabags with coffee filters. Put your loose tea in the middle and bring up sides and secure with a small rubber band at the top. Get your clothes white without bleach by using 1/2 cup plain powdered dishwasher detergent and 1/2 cup baking soda to 1 cup laundry detergent per load of clothes. CLEANING MICROWAVE OVEN Put a damp hand towel in the microwave oven and let it run on high for 2 minutes. It will create enough hot steam to wipe down the oven. The towel will be very hot so be careful if you use it to clean with. Wear oven mitts so you don't get burned.
Burnt Popcorn Smell in the Microwave To get rid of this awful lingering stink, fill as large microwave-safe bowl with one cup of water and sprinkle your favorite spice like cinnamon or add several drops of vanilla or lemon extract. Bring to a boil. You must let it sit inside for 10 to 15 minutes to cool down. Simply wipe the walls down with paper towels. Leave the door open to further air it out.
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14 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
15 things the Emergency Room Staff Won’t Tell You
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March 2016
Tax Troubles
The number of words dealing with income taxes in the Internal Revenue Code and IRS regulations rose 1. We do it because we care. We’re the only doctors who will take nearly tenfold between 1955 and 2005, from 718,000 to more than 7 million. care of you first and ask questions about paying later, so we end How is a mugger different from the Internal Revenue Service? Both take your money, but the mugger up giving one third of our care for free-and lose about $100,000 of doesn't make you fill out forms. income a year. This is the best specialty in the world.” 2. Say "Thank You." In the ER, nurses provide most of the hands-on A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "Do you want me to do with care. So be nice. your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue 3. An ambulance isn't a fancy taxi. When we arrive, don’t expect Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything." us to say hello. We’re focused on the patient. Once he’s stable, then we’ll introduce ourselves. 4. Arriving by ambulance doesn't mean you'll get a red-carpet into the ER. You’ll get triaged like everyone else--if you’re not that sick or injured, you’re going to wait. 5. Yes, we know you're waiting...and waiting. Waiting is good. It means you’re not going to die. The person you need to feel sorry for is the one who gets rushed into the ER and treated first. 6. We need you to cooperate. When we say, "Put on this gown," we mean you should take off the clothes underneath so we can see the area that we need to examine. I once had a woman put the gown on over her clothes and her coat. For decades the banks & politicians have sold us a bill of 7. If we tell you to stay in bed, we mean it. Some medications make you uncoordinated, and we hate it when people fall down. goods about socking money away in bank-managed
The Big Banks Gobble Up To 50% of Your Retirement Accounts!
8. We don't believe you. One of our favorite lines is "You can’t fix stupidity." If you complain of nausea and then eat a bag of chips, that’s what we’re thinking. 9. We play favorites. It makes me crazy when visitors wander around talking on their cell phones. You’re being annoying. 10. We can only do so much. Not all ERs are equally equipped to deal with children. Check with your pediatrician to see which ER he or she recommends. 11. We're pretty used to people trying to intimidate us. Standing in the doorway and staring at us while we work won’t help your loved one get treated more quickly. 12. Speak up, please. An ER in a rural area might not have a doctor who is certified in emergency medicine, and the likelihood of having specialists on staff is very low. If you wind up in one, ask to transfer to a hospital that has more resources. 13. We don't want you to have to come back. If you don’t understand what you’re supposed to do when you leave the ER, ask—and ask again if necessary. 14. It’s incredible how many people having a heart attack drive themselves to the emergency room instead of calling 911. What are you going to do if you’re driving and your heart stops? 15. Don't call from your cell phone. Calling from a landline can save your life because we can pinpoint your location instantly. If you call from a cell phone, we waste a lot of time asking where you are or searching for you.
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retirement funds. We were promised a lifetime of growth that would set us up comfortably in retirement. But even after years of record Fed stimulus that artificially propped up the stock market and padded retirement accounts, the dirty little secret of bank-managed retirement funds is finally coming to light: Banks are pocketing a staggering percentage of your retirement investments! In many cases, you are surrendering 50% or more of your retirement savings to the banks for the “privilege” of having them control your money. Fortunately, there’s still ONE investment option that allows you to keep 100% of your retirement savings…”The Guaranteed Retirement Income Plan”… Billionaires Bill Gates and Warren Buffett found a way to invest a combined $1.5+ billion into these “Special Guaranteed Retirement Income Plans”, And some of America's best-known corporations, like Johnson & Johnson, Nestle USA, Harley Davidson, Proctor & Gamble, and Wal-Mart have invested more in these special accounts than they have in stocks and bonds combined. Because these accounts give them huge tax breaks, plus a steady stream of guaranteed tax-free income for life
Call us to arrange a private meeting to see how a Guaranteed Retirement Income Plan Can Work for You:
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1-800-530-5700 or 865-376-4925
March 2016
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From the family of Angie Parks
We cannot express our appreciation enough for all the prayers, calls, texts, meals, flowers, money and visits we received during the sickness and death of Angie. A special thanks to the people of Big Emory Baptist Church, Dr. Laymance, Roane Medical Center ER and ICU units, United Healthcare, Home Health Care of East Tn, Fraker Funeral Home, Roma White, and all our family and friends. Angie’s with her mom and dad, and brother and sister now, and she’s running through Heaven, singing as loud as she wants, and picking flowers all day. Angela "Angie" Parks, age 43, of Harriman, went to be with Jesus Friday, February 5, 2016 at her home surrounded by her friends and family. Angie was born November 21, 1972 with Down's Syndrome but she never let that stop her from having a worry free, happy life. She loved getting together with family and friends, and enjoyed helping with cooking or grilling out. She always enjoyed her “Dr. Pepper Cokes”. Angie would spend hours sitting in the yard picking flowers and especially clovers. She is preceded in death by her mother and father, George and Linda Parks; brother, George "Porky" Parks; sister, Kim Fallon; grandparents, Frank and Jacqueline Lemons and Lena Parks. SURVIVORS Sister Donna Parks Hankins of Ringgold, GA Brother Steve Parks of Ringgold, GA Aunt - Uncle & Caregivers Kay & Larry Christopher of Harriman Many other relatives and a host of friends
SHERRY TIPTON Realtor My Focus Is Your Real Estate Need!
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10815 KINGSTON PIKE KNOXVILLE, TN 37934
sst12060@hotmail.com http://stipton.cbww.com
(865) 966-1111 Business (800) 235-4236 Toll Free (865) 675-1118 Fax (865) 622-1213 Cell Each Office Is Independently Owned and Operated.
16 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
Billions in taxes
The next time you hear a politician use the word “billion” in a casual manner, think about whether this is who you want spending your tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but here’s a way of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.
www.roanereader.com
IRSQuestion:
What is the difference between an overzealous IRS agent and a Rottweiler? Answer: 1. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. 2. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. The Rottweiler will let 3. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the go, eventually. Stone Age.
email: info@roanereader.com
March 2016
Victorian Square Assisted Living
Says Thank You!
Victorian Square Assisted Living would like to say a heart-felt thank you to everyone in Roane and the surrounding counties. For the last 17 years, you have supported our facility and we wanted to let you know how much we appreciate you. But most of all, thank you for the support and care you have shown our residents. We have been blessed by those who have given of their time and talents to enrich their lives. Thank you to those who have volunteered their time to visit with a resident who had no other family. Thank you to the school groups who have visited and presented our residents with homemade cards and gifts.
. . . r a e Y New ! s e t a R New The Senior Living Community Where Affordable Retirement Begins
Call Today to Schedule A Tour
• Private And Shared Suites • 24/7 Onsite Staff • Customized Levels Of Care • Medication Management • Hospitality Suites Available • Adult Day Program • Short-term / Respite Care • Tenncare Choices Accepted
• Weekly Housekeeping & Laundry Services • Full Activity Program • Secure Memory Care Unit • Personal Care Assistance • Beauty Shop Onsite • Scheduled Local Transportation
The New Year is Here! ...it’s time to plan ahead and book our Community Room for Parties and Meetings
(865) (865) 354-1133 354-1133 www.victoriansquare.net
241 S. Chamberlain Ave. | Rockwood
Thank you to the individuals and community groups who have shared their gifts of acting and music with us. Thank you to everyone who has donated books, magazines, and other needed items. This list could go on and on. We are honored to be a part of this community. We look forward to the many years ahead of us. With your continued support, our mission will carry on – “Honoring the contributions of seniors by promoting independence and self-reliance in a supportive and compassionate environment.” Sincerely, Victorian Square Assisted Living 241 S Chamberlain Ave Rockwood, TN 37854 (865) 354-1133
Easter Symbols
-Easter Eggs and baby chicks- eggs and chicks symbolizes new life. Eggs have been a symbol of spring since ancient times. An egg also is a symbol of the rock tomb out of which Christ emerged when He rose again. The chick, hatching out of the egg, symbolizes new life or re-birth. -Easter bunny- The rabbit, or hare, was a symbol of abundant new life in ancient times and reminds us of spring and new life. -Easter Lilies- the white blossoms symbolizes new life and the resurrection of Christ. All about Easter Lilies. -The Lamb- represents Jesus, the Lamb of God -The Cross- symbolizes Jesus, victory over death - Palm Branches- represents when Jesus arrived in Jerusalem on the first Palm Sunday and people waved palm branches, welcoming Him. -Easter hats and wearing new clothes for Easter- new life offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus. -The butterfly- is one of the significant symbols of Easter. Its whole life cycle is meant to symbolize the life of Jesus Christ. The first stage, is the caterpillar which stands for His life on earth. Second stage begins from the cocoon stage, portraying the crucifixion and burial of Jesus. The third and final stage is the butterfly, representing His raising from the dead in a glorified body and peace.
The biggest regret that people have on their deathbed is that they lived the life expected of them instead of a life true to themselves.
Phone: 865-882-9340
March 2016
Foolish Forecasts:
How did environmentalists get it so wrong on Earth Day 1970? What was once Earth Day has now morphed into Earth Hour and Earth Week. The success of the celebration can only be explained by the fact that no one ever bothers to go back to check the accuracy of the eco-wackos’ past predictions. These predictions were made at the first Earth Day in 1970. They were wrong—and some of the predictions were made by professors from Harvard and Stanford! (aren’t they supposed to be much smarter than most of us?) “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.”-- George Wald, Harvard Biologist “We are in an environmental crisis which threatens the survival of this nation, and of the world as a suitable place of human habitation.” -- Barry Commoner, Washington University biologist “By…[1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s.” -- Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist “Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….” -- Life Magazine, January 1970 “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.” -- Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist “At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it’s only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable.” -- Kenneth Watt, Ecologist “Man must stop pollution and conserve his resources, not merely to enhance existence but to save the race from intolerable deterioration and possible extinction.” -- New York Times editorial, the day after the first Earth Day “Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct.”-- Sen. Gaylord Nelson “The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.” -- Kenneth Watt, Ecologist
Contact SENATOR
Yager Ken
Phone:
(615) 741-1449 or (800) 449-8366 ext. 11449
'LVWULFW 2LFH P.O. Box 684 Kingston, TN 37763
1DVKYLOOH 2LFH G19 War Memorial Bldg. Nashville, TN 37243
www.roanereader.com
A Ghostly Night in Ireland A Dublin University student was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a bend approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the bend, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and.... wasn't drunk. Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like the student, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing the student sobbing at the bar, one said to the other... 'Look Paddy.....there's that idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!'
Happy Birthday
Molly Murphy March 2nd
email: info@roanereader.com
17 The Roane Reader
What do your dreams mean?
Running To dream that you are running away from someone indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears. To dream that you are trying to run but cannot make your feet move as fast as you want them to signifies lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It may also reflect your actual state of REM paralysis during the dream state. Hiding To dream that you are hiding suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some information. You may not be facing up to a situation or dealing with some issue. However, you may be getting ready to reveal something and confess before somebody finds out. In particular, to dream that you are hiding from some authority figure (police, parent, teacher...), implies feelings of guilt. To dream that someone is hiding indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection. Disaster To dream that you are in a disaster represents your personal anxieties and fears of change. You are afraid of not knowing what is in store for you in the future. Invasion To dream of an invasion represents your need to be more assertive. Stand up for yourself and let your voice be known. Don't let others tell you what to do. Monster To dream that you are chased or followed by a monster represents aspects of yourself that you find repulsive and ugly. You may possess some fears or some repressed emotions. Try to confront the monster in your dream and figure out who or what aspect of yourself the monster represents.
May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.
S.L. BOWMAN & SONS, INC. MAYO SEEDS CLEANING UP? WE HAVE DUMPSTER GARDEN SUPPLIES RENTALS AVAILABLE & EQUIPMENT WE HAVE
521 N. FRONT ST. ROCKWOOD, TN (865) 354-0600
18 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
email: info@roanereader.com
The Roane Reader proudly presents The Winds of March by: Donna Kay Reynolds The winds blow fiercely as March begins Awaiting a new season when this one ends Birds are chirping and singing songs As on our way we travel home In the fields new colors can be seen On trees new life where the old has been Be still and listen as the wind blows by For spring is arriving and the earth gives a sigh Colors are green, yellow, purple, in the fields so clear At the edge of the woods we see the stirring of deer Hold fast the images keep them in mind The winds of March are blowing bringing in a new time Be thankful for the beauty your eyes can see While sitting on the porch sipping iced tea.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR WRITINGS ON THIS PAGE EMAIL US: INFO@ROANEREADER.COM or write to: 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Jerry’s Used Furniture Furniture - Appliances & Gift Items WE BUY GOOD USED FURNITURE ONE PIECE OR ENTIRE ROOMS
(865)882-2317
Owner Jerry Farmer
2744 ROANE STATE HWY
Midtown
Florist & gifts COMPLETE FLORAL SERVICE & GIFTS
Owner Edna Farmer
(865)882-3603
THE WRITER'S PAGE
Windows of Heaven by: Judy M. Reid
The windows of heaven are open to those who seek His face. He is rewarder to them that diligently seek Him. We must pray without ceasing. Knowing that the adversary is always there for a reason. We pray in secret the Lord will reward us openly Knowing that He is in the heavenly. Draw nigh unto Him and He will draw nigh unto you To you He will always be true.
The Bride of Christ
Song of Solomon: Rom. 11 by: Katie Bailey Randolph
March 2016
Resurrection
by: Donna Kay Reynolds Many years ago on earth Our savior died to give us rebirth Laid in a tomb and a great stone placed He was resurrected the apostles saw His face Making way for us to have a new life For this earth is filled with a large amount of strife He will deliver as He has done before If we just open our hearts door A sinless man who carried all sin for the human race The stone of His tomb was rolled away from his burial place Resurrected alive He is today And soon coming in magnificent array The disciples watched Him go out of sight Up into heaven surrounded by light
I love the Song of Solomon The love story of Christ and His bride. He's waiting to come back and claim her to be forever at His side. He says, "I'm the Rose of Sharon" His bride, "the Lily among thorns." He invites her, "Rise up, my love, and come away" From a world that continually scorns. She brags to the Jewish daughters of this man she's come to trust. But warns them, "until the time is right, do not awaken my love". He calls her the fairest among women, virtuous and without spot. Honey and milk is under her tongue and she has ravished His heart! She sleeps but her heart is awakened She hears the voice of her beloved. As He knocks He says, "Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove". "I've been out in the night seeking the lost my hair is wet with the dew". But she says, "I'm busy taking my rest, can't it wait till the morning is new?" But He put in His hand by the hole of the door and compassion broke her heart For she saw the nail scar in His hand, for her soul He did impart. She then boasts again to the Jew, "This is my beloved He's chiefest among ten thousand, this is the man I love". Now she has stirred their interest, they ask, "Where has He turned aside? that we may seek Him with thee Tell us where He abides". When God set Israel aside, and grafted us into their vine, He blinded the Jew for a season, and the Gentile was invited inside. When the times of the Gentiles is finished and Christ has returned for His bride He will open the blinded eyes of the Jew and graft them back into their vine. Until then, lets keep bragging on Jesus, Telling them "come, see a man that paid for our sins on Calvary and brought us salvation's plan."
The Passion of Christ by: Judy M. Reid
We are not our own We belong to Christ Bought by His blood Paid for with His life No one else has given us A gift which measures up, To the love the Lord poured out for us, When He drank that bitter cup I wonder what it felt like To have them spitting in His face Precious Lamb upon the altar So full of mercy, love, and grace Completely alone, He bore the stripes The beatings on His back The agony He bore for us As the whip gave out unending cracks The cross, the nails, the crucifixion Do we realize what was done? Do we fully know that all our sin Was poured out on God’s son? Righteousness became accursed As He hung upon a tree Treated worse than a common criminal For the likes of you and me He deserves to receive our everything Let us give Him what is due And worship Him sincerely With hearts whish are pure and true.
March 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
email: info@roanereader.com
19 The Roane Reader
Ode To Arnis
Planting a special garden
Heart Attack & Water
Throughout the year we had great fun, We shared Roane Reader with everyone. To gripping “homelike” news rehearsed, And poems for us all, well versed. But sadly as we end-of-year’d We thought t’was over-but what appeared? A brand new 2016 journal Which proves that hope, it springs eternal! On top of this, don’t brush me off, My sinus gave to me a cough. But what should appear (by special cd) But grandma’s syrup-just for me! So gather all your troop around, And utter forth a joyous sound Enjoy pure light from above, And know you have our heartfelt love!
First plant five rows of peas; PREPAREDNESS, PROMPTNESS, PERSERVERANCE, POLITENESS, PRAYER. Next to them plant three rows of squash: SQUASH GOSSIP, SQUASH CRITICISM, SQUASH INDIFFERENCE. Then five rows of lettuce: LET US BE FAITHFUL, LET US BE UNSELFISH, LET US BE LOYAL LET US BE TRUTHFUL, LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER. And no garden is complete without turnips: TURN UP FOR CHURCH, TURN UP WITH A SMILE TURN UP WITH DETERMINATION
I asked my Doctor why people need to urinate so much at night time. Answer from my Cardiac Doctor: Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier.
Written by Donald Strange-Boston
Thoughts to abide by 'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fightin some kind of battle.' A sharp tongue can cut your own throat. If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep. Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. The best vitamin for making friends...... B1. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge .. One thing you can give and still keep... is your word. You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself. If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time Ideas won't work unless ' You' do. Your mind is like a parachute…it functions only when open. The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what you might have been.
I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me. Correct time to drink water... Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist! Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs. 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion 1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack I can also add to this... My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse.
why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? you don't want to press your luck
Harriman Home Center
& Walnut Hill Laundromat (865) 882-3931
7 EASY STEPS TO IMPROVE YOUR ATTITUDE 1. STAND UP 2.STRETCH 3. TAKE A WALK 4. KEEP WALKING 5. BOARD A PLANE 6. FLY TO KEY WEST 7. NEVER RETURN
Drop off Laundry Service - Call Kim (865) 882-3931
707 Old Roane Street IN THE HEART OF WALNUT HILL
20 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com Date
Sandra L. Stout
The difference between CRAZY vs STUPID A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to the Mental Hospital. He discovered a flat tire when he was about to leave. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tire off. When he was about to replace the flat tire with the spare tire, he accidentally dropped all the nuts into a storm drain. Realizing he can't fish the nuts out, he starts to panic. A patient walking by asks him what happened. The driver told him his problem. And the patient said "Can't even fix such a simple problem... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..." "Here's what you can do, take one nut each from the other 3 tires and then tighten them on to the spare. Then drive to the nearest garage and replace the missing ones, easy as that!" The driver was very impressed and asked: "You're so smart but why are you here in a Mental Hospital?"
Race
Sprint Unlimited Daytona 500 Qualifying Can-Am Duel Daytona 500 Folds of Honor QuikTrip 500 Kobalt 400 Good Sam 500 Auto Club 400 STP 500 Duck Commander 500 Food City 500 Toyota Owners 400 GEICO 500 GOBOWLING.COM 400 Dover International Speedway NASCAR Sprint All-Star Race Coca-Cola 600 Axalta 'We Paint Winners' 400 Firekeepers Casino 400 Toyota I Save Mart 350 Coke Zero 400 Quaker State 400 Jul 9 Presented by Advance Auto Parts Jul 17 New Hampshire 301 Crown Royal Presents the Jul 24 'Your Hero's Name Here' 400 Jul 31 Pennsylvania 400 Aug 7 Cheez-lt 355 Aug 20 Bass Pro Shops NRA Night Race Aug 28 Pure Michigan 400 Sep 4 Bojangles' Southern 500 Sep 10 Federated Auto Parts 400
Sep 18 Sep 25 Oct 2 Oct 8 Oct 16 Oct 23 Oct 30 Nov 6 Nov 13 Nov 20
Chicagoland Speedway New England 300 AAA 400 Bank of America 500 Hollywood Casino 400 Alabama 500 Goody's Fast Relief 500 AAA Texas 500 Can-Am 500 Ford EcoBoost 400
Store your Classic Auto (indoor storage)
Need to get one out of the way for a while?
CALL STEVE MCBAY FOR DETAILS
Long Term Or Short Term Storage Available
(865) 621-9642 320 Trenton St. Harriman, TN
Facility
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Daytona International Speedway Daytona International Speedway Daytona International Speedway Daytona International Speedway Atlanta Motor Speedway Las Vegas Motor Speedway Phoenix International Raceway Auto Club Speedway Martinsville Speedway Texas Motor Speedway Bristol Motor Speedway Richmond International Raceway Talladega Superspeedway Kansas Speedway Dover International Speedway Charlotte Motor Speedway Charlotte Motor Speedway Pocono Raceway Michigan International Speedway Sonoma Raceway Daytona International Speedway
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PARTS & PROJECTS
Gadget Hobbies Radio Control
Airplanes, Drones Helicopters Trucks and Cars
Revell, AMT & MPC Plastic Models 204 Trenton St Harriman, Tn 865-882-7528
Mention this ad for 25% Off
March 2016
2016 SPRINT CUP SCHEDULE
Feb 13 Feb 14 Feb 18 Feb 21 Feb 28 Mar 6 Mar 13 Mar 20 Apr 3 Apr 9 Apr 17 Apr 24 May 1 May 7 May 15 May 21 May 29 Jun 5 Jun 12 Jun 26 Jul 2
Patient replied: "Hello, I am here because I'm CRAZY, not STUPID!!"
Run out of room or got a new project?
email: info@roanereader.com
Jamie MCMURRAY Brad KESELOWSKI Austin DILLON Kevin HARVICK Kasey KAHNE Trevor BAYNE Alex BOWMAN Brian SCOTT Danica PATRICK Denny HAMLIN Casey MEARS Tony STEWART Clint BOWYER Greg BIFFLE Ricky STENHOUSE JR. Kyle BUSCH Carl EDWARDS Matt KENSETH Ryan BLANEY Joey LOGANO Jeb BURTON Chase ELLIOTT J.J. YELEY Paul MENARD Ryan NEWMAN Bobby LABONTE Jeffrey EARNHARDT Travis KVAPIL Alex KENNEDY Derek WHITE Ty DILLON Chris BUESCHER Landon CASSILL Kurt BUSCH Kyle LARSON Aric ALMIROLA Michael ANNETT A.J. ALLMENDINGER Jimmie JOHNSON Martin TRUEX JR. Matt DIBENEDETTO Dale EARNHARDT JR. Michael MCDOWELL
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Team/Owner
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #9 #10 #11 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24 #26 #27 #31 #32 #32 #32 #33 #33 #33 #34 #40 #41 #42 #43 #46 #47 #48 #78 #83 #88 #95
Chip Ganassi Racing Team Penske Richard Childress Racing Stewart Haas Racing Hendrick Motorsports Roush Fenway Racing Tommy Baldwin Racing Richard Petty Motorsports Stewart Haas Racing Joe Gibbs Racing Germain Racing Stewart Haas Racing Hscott Motorsports Roush Fenway Racing Roush Fenway Racing Joe Gibbs Racing Joe Gibbs Racing Joe Gibbs Racing Wood Brothers Racing Team Penske BK Racing Hendrick Motorsports BK Racing Richard Childress Racing Richard Childress Racing GO FAS Racing Go FAS Racing Go FAS Racing Circle Sport Circle Sport Richard Childress Racing Front Row Motorsports Hillman Smith Motorsports Stewart Haas Racing Chip Ganassi Racing Richard Petty Motorsports Hscott Motorsports JTG Daugherty Racing Hendrick Motorsports Furniture Row Racing BK Racing Hendrick Motorsports Leavine Family Racing
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McDonalds Miller Lite Dow Chemicals Busch Beer Farmers Insurance AdvoCare Toy State Albertson's Nature's Bakery FedEx GEICO Mobil 1 5-Hour Energy Drink Cheez-It Fastenal M&M's Arris Dollar General Motorcraft Shell-Pennzoil Maxim Fantasy Sports NAPA Auto Parts Maxim Fantasy Sports Menards Caterpillar C&J Energy Services Can-Am Ask More - Get More TBD Braille Battery/Grafoid Realtree CSX Transportation Snap Fitness Monster Energy Drink Target Smithfield Foods Pilot Flying J Kroger Lowe's Furniture Row Burger King Nationwide Insurance Leavine Family Racing
WWW.WARTBURGSPEEDWAY.NET Mar. 19th Mar. 26th April 2nd April 9th -
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www.roanereader.com
Phone: 865-882-9340
March 2016
Test and Tune Test and Tune Opening Night Spring Thaw 30 Late Model - $1,500 First Points Race Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Mother’s Day Mania Weekly Points Racing Enduro Round #1 Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Memorial Day Mayhem Pony & Thunder Special Weekly Points Racing Enduro Round #2 Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Demolition Derby UCRA Late Models - $2,500 to win Steel Head Late Models - $1,500 to win Double Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Double Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Enduro Round #3 Weekly Points Racing Double Points Racing Fan Appreciation + Champions + Crew Chef Race 2nd Annual Gus Chilton Memorial/ Sandra Stout Hall of Fame + Steel Head Shootout Final Enduro Race Enduro Round #4 + Demolition Derby TBA TBA TBA
April 22nd April 29th May 6th May 13th May 19th May 20th May 27th June 3rd June 10th June 17th June 24th July 1st July 8th July 15th July 22nd July 28nd Aug. 5th Aug. 12th Aug. 19th Aug. 26th Sept. 2nd Sept. 9th Sept. 16th Sept. 23rd Sept. 30th Oct. 6th Oct. 7th Oct. 8th -
Test and Tune Test and Tune Season Opener First Points Race Test and Tune Southern Nationals SNS - $5,000 to win Steel Head Special Details TBA Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing United Crate Racing United Crate Racing Association Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Schaeffer’s Southern Nationals SSN - $3,500 to win Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Ultimate Super LM Series Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Final Points Racing Steel Head Special TBA Open Practice TBA TBA
NASCAR Funnies
dealer!
You’re not advertising your business in The Roane Reader?
What part of “profit” don’t you understand?
865-882-8249 629 N Roane St Harriman, TN 37748
COME SEE GARY OR DANIEL!
21 The Roane Reader
WWW.CROSSVILLESPEEDWAY.COM
WWW.SMOKYMOUNTAINSPEEDWAY.COM
Mar. 5th - Test & Tune Mar. 11th - 3rd Annual Tennessee Tip-off Classic Ray Cook's Spring Nationals Super Late Models - Hot Laps/Qualify Sportsman - $2000 to win Mar. 12th - 3rd Annual Tennessee Tip-off Classic Ray Cook's Spring Nationals Super Late Models - $15,000 to win Street Stocks $2,000 to win April 2nd - Ultimate Super Late Models Ultimate Super Late Models - $5,000 to win April 23rd - "Rockin' with the Stars" SAS Super Late Models - $5,000 to win USCS Sprint Cars USCS Midget Sprints May 7th - 4th annual Mountain Outlaw 50 World of Outlaws Late Models - $10,000 to win June 18th - Big Daddy 500 Ultimate Super Late Models - $5,000 to win July 9th - Mountain Moonshine Classic Lucas Oil Late Model Dirt Series - $12,000 to win July 29th - Ray Cook's Southern Nationals Super Late Models - $5,300 to win Aug. 27th - Southern Nationals Bonus Series Super Late Models - $5,000 to win Sept. 17th - King of the Mountain Fall Classic SAS Super Late Models - $5,000 to win Sept. 29th - Thursday Night Thunder Southern Nationals Bonus Series Super Late Models - $5,000 to win
GARY’S TIRE
YOUR AUTHORIZED
email: info@roanereader.com
www.facebook.com GarysTireHarriman
865-882-9340 or www.roanereader.com
Q: How can you tell when a NASCAR Fan is watching a Formula One race? A: When he taps you on the back and asks "Are we watching qualifying?" Did you hear? Greg Biffle went to work for the telephone company so he could get on the pole!!
MOTORS LLC
Call 882 1165
1007 Ruritan Rd
JESUS SAVES
Located 300 feet north of the red light at the intersection of Pine Ridge Rd & Ruritan Rd in So. Harriman
Sport Utilities Cars Trucks Equipment Carports Tractors Vans “Where Customers Send Their Friends”
22 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
15 Things You Can Do With Silica Gel Packets
email: info@roanereader.com
March 2016
THE PHANTOM (Can You Find MeÂż)
1. Keep your gym bag from smelling bad. Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader A few silica gel packs in your gym bag will prevent bacteria growth caused by moisture. Go to www.roanereader.com/thephantom 2. Keep seeds free of moisture. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, Don't lose any seeds you planned to plant by placing a few silica gel packs with your seeds. EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. 3. Prevent tools from oxidizing. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!! A few packs in your toolbox will keep them looking like new. Entries that fail to provide all this information will not qualify! 4.Keep linen closets dry. 5. Make your razors last longer. A dry razor stored in a sealed Tupperware container filled with silica gel will keep your razor from dulling out too soon. 6. Dry flowers faster. Dry out flowers for all your crafting needs with silica gel packs. 7. Save a wet cell phone. Silica gel can be used in exchange for rice, if you need to fix a wet phone. 8. Preserve Christmas ornaments. Toss a few silica gel packs in with your ornaments so they look like new next year. 9. Keep camera equipment dry. A few packs in your camera bag will preserve your camera equipment. 10. Get rid of old book smell (unless you like it) The book will need to be placed in a bag with a bunch of silica gel packs. 11. Clear up that foggy windshield. Silica gel on top of your dashboard will keep the fog away. 12. Keep dog food herbs and spices dry. Tape a silica gel pack under the lid of the container. 13. Keep your photos safe. Keep silica gel packs where ever you store physical copies of your photos to keep them fresh. 14. Keep condensation off of your camera lens. Place your foggy lens and memory card in a bag with silica gel to dry it. 15. Keep makeup/travel bags dry. A few pieces of silica gel in a ziplock bag will keep everything dry.
601 S. Chamberlain AYH 5RFNZRRG 71 Ć 3KRQH (865) 354-3945 (across from the Rockwood Sports Complex/ball field) TDD/TTY 7-1-1
NOW ACCEPTING APPLICANTS 55 YEARS OLD AND OLDER OR DISABLED Retirement living for individuals 55 years and older or disabled with all the benefits of affordability and no yard work or maintenance hassles. We offer large 1 bedroom homes with 2 walk in and 1 hallway closet. We provide water/sewer, trash, services coordination, safety monitoring, chapel, activities, and lobby coffee bar at no extra charge. Rent is based on your income and utility allowance is given. Small pets welcome with pet deposit. Retire at our quality affordable community.
Enjoy life to the fullest at Rockwood Village!
Winner in February No Winner
We will run this for another month
Dry Bones
Emergency Shelter 229 Carter Ave Harriman, Tn M-14 Ministry/Courts of Praise Accommodations for 10 Adults When Temperature is below 32° 5PM - 9AM
Food, Snacks, Breakfast CONTACT DWAYNE LINGER (865) 882-5802
March 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
I wish I’d had this advice
email: info@roanereader.com
23 The Roane Reader
Life Hacks
Gerald Rogers, a psychologist who went through a tough divorce, wrote an incredible Facebook If a disk is skipping, rub a banana over it to seal the scratches. post about life, love, relationships, and divorce. He started by saying, Remember to wipe it off before you stick it back in. "After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, On www.supercook.com you just enter what ingredients you have here's the advice I wish I could have had..." and it tells you what you can make with them. Choose love. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices Feeling ugly? Go sit in walmart for 2 hours, you will feel a lot better. is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure. Don’t want to be embarrassed when buying something? Buy a Don't sweat the money. birthday card with it. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Trying to eat less? Use a smaller plate, it helps your mind think Figure out ways to leverage both person's strengths to win. theres more food, and it limits what you can pile on your plate. Always grow together. The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural If you’re trying to quit smoking, go to a sauna 3 days in a row. You’ll process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find sweat out the nicotine and it’ll be easier to quit. common goals, dreams and visions to work towards. Putting a tums on a painful mouth ulcer will cause it to go away in Let yourself be vulnerable. a matter of hours. You don't have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowl- You can shrink a pimple in minutes by putting a dab of Listerine on edge your mistakes. it. The alcohol will dry it up and cause it to fade. Be open and transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING: Especially those things you The gel from Advil will cure a pimple right away. don't want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't Next time you have a bad sore throat , eat marshmallows. know if she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK: If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, Lemon juice with a pinch of salt, warm, every morning lowers cholesterol levels and brings your weight down. and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be. Don't be stupid. Cauliflower dipped in BBQ sauce taste almost the same as chicken Don't be an idiot and don't be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not nuggets and its infinitely healthier. to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You're not supposed to be perfect, Tuesday at 3:00 p.m., six weeks before your flight is when tickets just try to not be too stupid. are the absolute cheapest. The dating never stops. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be You can prolong the life of your flowers by dropping a penny in the that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and water with a pinch of sugar. sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER If you ever go to the zoo, wear the same colors as the employees do, GET LAZY in your love. the animals will come up to you instead of backing away. Protect your heart. Worst disaster in Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where Ireland’s history (lol) no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a Fall in love every day. You will constantly change. You're not the same people you were when you got married, and in cemetery. five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don't take bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may continues into the night. never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
Taxation with representation ain't so hot either. United States Coast Guard Auxiliary WATTS BAR LAKE FLOTILLA 12-08
NOW OFFERING 2 DAY BOATING SAFETY CLASSES FOR 2016 2-Day Course Being held at the Kingston Community Center 201 Patton Ferry Road, Kingston
DATES: MARCH 22nd AND 24th FROM 12:00 NOON TO 4:00 PM BOTH DATES **SPACE IS LIMITED SO CALL OR EMAIL NOW FOR RESERVATIONS!
Bill White (865) 376-4822 -- Email: whitebill1220@yahoo.com
24 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
Does the Bible say anything about extra-terrestrial life?
The Bible says nothing about life other than on earth.
Should the male always be older than the female according to the Bible? It is neither biblically approved or forbidden to marry an older woman. The Bible does not address the issue at all. Generally the Bible says nothing about the ages of the spouses so we don’t know if any man in the Bible was married to an older woman or not. Even if there is such an example in the Bible it says nothing about approval or disapproval.
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email: info@roanereader.com
March 2016
Stuff you didn't know you didn't know!
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. Coca-Cola was originally green. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work? Alaska The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Happy Birthday
to Sister
#1
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400 The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
What does the Bible say about men who wear earrings? “And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me.” (Exodus 32:2) This was Aaron asking for gold with which to build the golden calf. It just shows that men wore earrings in the early days of the Jewish nation.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair..
Where do animals go when they die? We don't know. The Bible doesn't say.
Hearts – Charlemagne
The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David
Joe Baker From Rosella Davis
Clubs -Alexander, the Great What is meant in the bible regarding not wearing things pertaining Diamonds - Julius Caesar to men? The more accurate translation of Deuteronomy 22:5 would be, If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If “The woman shall not wear man’s clothes, nor a man be dressed in the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse women’s clothes; to do so is an abomination to the Lord your God.” has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. Is there a length of time to mourn and that you should not mourn Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomor grieve to the point of poverty? son. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. The Bible mentions several mourning periods, differing from culture Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? to culture. The Egyptians mourned for Jacob seventy days (Gen. 50:3). The Jews mourn for seven days, based perhaps on Gen. 50:10. A Their birthplace Q. Most boat owners name their boats.
Easter Funnies
What is the most popular boat name requested? Q: What do you get when you cross the Easter Bunny with an A. Obsession over-stressed pastor during Holy Week? A: An Easter Basket Case Q... If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'? ***** A. One thousand At dinner after church on Palm Sunday little Maria began chattering away about learning a new song in Sunday school about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took her parents a while before realizing that the hymn Maria had TRUSTEE’S OFFICE - ROANE COUNTY COURTHOUSE been singing was really: “Gladly The Cross I’d Bear.”
__________________________________ HOW TO PAY YOUR ROANE COUNTY TAXES (MONDAY-FRIDAY 8:30 A.M. TO 4:30 P.M.)
Celebrate Recovery! Every Tuesday Celebrate Recovery meets at 6 pm at Kingston First Baptist Church. It's a faith based program for anyone with a hurt, habit, or a hang-up.
Everyone is welcome!
UNITED COMMUNITY BANK IN KINGSTON (With your tax notice)
US BANK IN ROCKWOOD OR KINGSTON (With your tax notice)
Nationally Certified as a Consumer Bankruptcy Specialist
CREDIT CARD PAYMENTS - Www.TennesseeTrustee.com (Select Roane County - a fee will be charged for credit/debit card transactions)
CALL 1-877-768-5048 TO MAKE PHONE PAYMENTS (You will need your receipt number. A fee is charged for this transaction)
MAIL PAYMENT WITH CHECK TO:
www.msw-law.com
(Please include your receipt number on the check) ROANE COUNTY TRUSTEE P.O. BOX 296 KINGSTON, TN 37763
March 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
PARA-PROS-DOKIANS: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.
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Miracle Or Parable?
email: info@roanereader.com
25 The Roane Reader
Road Rage
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, Identify these to which they refer stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red to the parables of Christ and the light by accelerating through the intersection. ones that relate to the miracles The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming of Christ!! in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in 1. Tares mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face 2. Calms the tempest of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her 3. Feeds five thousand car with her hands up. 4. Grain of a mustard seed He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger5. Blasts the fig tree printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. 6. Precious pearl After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened 7. Prodigal son the door?? She was escorted back to the booking desk where the 8. Restores daughter of Jairus arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. 9. Laborers in the vineyard He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind 10. The virgins your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in 11. A draught of fishes front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What 12. Talents Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate Answers: holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the (1)parable (7)parable chromeplated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car." Priceless (2)miracle (8) miracle (3) miracle
(9) parable
(4) parable
(10)parable
(5)miracle
(11)miracle
(6) parable
(12) parable
Your Time Clock & Watch Repair
Specializing in mechanical restoration and repair of antique clocks and pocket watches
In home service available for grandfather and other tall case clocks Located in Roane County Jim Foster Owner
What is a Leprechaun? A Leprechaun is an Irish "elf". They are small in size, and some say they look like a tiny, old man in a top hat and red beard. They are tricky fellows and like to play pranks on unsuspecting people. Legend says that Leprechauns are shoemakers (also called cobblers). Curiously enough, they only make one of each type of shoe. You can tell a Leprechaun is near if you hear the tapping of their hammers. Each Leprechaun also has a pot of gold! Some say they bury it in secret places only Leprechauns can reach; others say they hide it at the end of the rainbow. One thing is for sure though, if you catch a Leprechaun he will lead you to his pot of gold and give it to you as a bribe to let him go.
happy st. patrick’s day March 17th
A message from Justin Stout & Kay Christopher - Co-Owners of
The Roane Reader Our only goal is to publish a paper that everyone wants to read and everyone enjoys. We have never increased our overall advertising rates in the 23 years of our existence, and we have no plans to in the near future. The ads you see in The Roane Reader pays for our overhead, which includes the printing costs, software, supplies and other necessary expenses. So, if you enjoy receiving The Roane Reader, please patronize our sponsors, and tell them you saw their ad in our paper.
yourtimeclockandwatch.com
865-466-5805
Thank you all very much.
26 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
Fact, not Fiction 'I am'. Is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
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Amazing Language Facts
• There are more than 2,700 The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law which languages in the world. In addition, there are more than 7,000 stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than dialects. A dialect is a regional your thumb. variety of a language that has The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the a different pronunciation, vocabulary, or meaning. 'General Purpose' vehicle, G.P. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each • The most difficult language to learn is Basque, which is gallon of diesel that it burns. spoken in northwestern Spain In just one year, each and every American on average consumes and southwestern France. It is enough wood and paper to construct a tree 100 feet tall and 16 not related to any other language in the world. It has an extremely inches in diameter. complicated word structure and Over three million Americans stutter. Stuttering is gender related vocabulary. and affects three to four times as many males as females. • All pilots on international The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in flights identify themselves in 1910. English. The youngest pope was 11 years old. •Somalia is the only African country in which the entire popuAlphabet Letters info lation speaks the same language, Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' and 'd' do not appear if you spell any of the numbers Somali. between 1 and 99 [Funnily enough, letter 'd' comes for the first time • The language in which a in Hundred] government conducts business In addition, letters 'a', 'b' and 'c' do not appear anywhere in the is the official language of that spellings of 1 to 999 [Strange, but true, letter 'a' comes for the first country. time in Thousand] Neither letter 'b' nor 'c' appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999 [Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion]
• More than 1,000 different languages are spoken on the continent of Africa.
Hey Kids!
Do you have a poem or short story you’ve written? Send it to us at 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748 and we’ll print it!
Mid-East Community Action Agency
Roane and Loudon Counties Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applications for the 2015/2016 Program Year Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families
To complete an application or to get information please call the Head Start Admin Center in Kingston at 865-376-2308 ext 222 Monday -Thursday Site Admin Office Rolling Acres Fairmont
Phone 865-376-2308 865-882-0808 865-882-8737
P.O. Box 790 Mid-East Kingston, TN 37763 Community Action Agency www.mecaa.net
Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.
email: info@roanereader.com
March 2016
The Origin of the Teddy Bear In November 1902, President Theodore Roosevelt and some of his friends went on a hunting trip to Mississippi. After hours of searching, Roosevelt and his group had not come across any wild animals. Finally, the group did track down and surrounded a helpless bear. One of the guides asked the president to shoot the bear so he could win a hunting trophy. The president refused, and news reporters throughout the country spread the story of Roosevelt's kind act. Not long after this took place, a famous cartoonist named Clifford Berryman drew a cartoon based on Roosevelt 's rescue of the bear. When a store owner in Brooklyn saw the cartoon, he decided to make toy bears to sell in his shop. He asked president Roosevelt for permission to use the name “"Teddy's Bear"” for his toys, as a reminder of the bear Roosevelt had set free. Nowadays, everyone knows these toys as Teddy Bears, but few people know that they were named after President Theodore “"Teddy"” Roosevelt. November 14 has been designated American Teddy Bear Day.
Did you know? It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'.
may the good lord protect you, and bless you today. and may troubles ignore you, each step of the way.
Public Stargazing Tamke-Allan Observatory, Harriman
Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long. Public is welcome! The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road - turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left. Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long, inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.
Gates open at 7 pm
For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or fieldsde@roanestate.edu for details.
March 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
Why you should have a will
www.roanereader.com
Ever Wondered?
email: info@roanereader.com
27 The Roane Reader
Innocent Roommates?
We’ve all wondered what would happen to our property and loved If you died with braces on would Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. ones if we were to die without a legal will. The answer is a compli- they take them off? During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice cated mix of several factors: whether or not you are married at the If you dug a hole through the how pretty Anthony's roommate is. time of your death, have children, or have other living relatives. center of the earth, and jumped Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, A last will and testament is a legally binding document that outlines in, would you stay at the center she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his your last wishes if you pass away. If you die without a will, your because of gravity? roommate than met the eye. assets go into a complex legal process called probate, where the Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know courts decide what happens to your property and your loved ones If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just can incur tens of thousands of dollars in legal expenses. roommates.'' complain to? Fortunately, that dire scenario can be avoided by creating a last will About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your and testament for yourself. If you had a three story house mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. Dying without a will is known in legal terms as dying “intestate”. and were in the second floor, You don't suppose she took it, do you?" When this happens, the state in which you legally reside will isn't it possible that you can be "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure. determine how your property is to be distributed to your surviving upstairs and downstairs at the So he sat down and wrote an email: Dear MaMa, relatives. The first question the court will ask is whether or not you same time? I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; were married at the time of your death. If you put a chameleon in a room I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. If you are married: full of mirrors, what color would But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were ● Any assets you acquired together with your spouse during your it turn? here for dinner. marriage is considered “community property” and automatically If you soak a raisin in water, does Your Loving Son passes to your spouse. Anthony it turn back into a grape? Dear Anthony, ● Assets you brought into the marriage and kept separate, or assets I’m not saying that you and Maria “do” sleep together, and I’m not If you spin an oriental person you inherited or were gifted to you during your marriage, will be saying that you “don’t” sleep together, but since she didn’t find the in a circle three times, do they divided between your spouse and your children. silver sugar bowl I placed under her bed covers, the fact remains that become disoriented? ● If you are married but do not have children, assets not considered you two are not simply roommates. community property will be divided between your spouse and If you try to fail, and succeed, Your loving Mom. your other family members, in the following order: your parents, which have you done? siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and nieces and nephews. If you're driving a federal owned This arrangement varies from state to state. car, and you run a stop sign, is it ● If you have no one to leave your property and possessions to, your considered a felony? assets become the property of the state in which you legally reside. In libraries, do they put the bible If you are not married: in the fiction or non-fiction ● If you have children, your property is distributed equally amongst section? them. Walnut Hill Church's mission is reaching the lost and helping people in need. ● If you do not have children, everything goes to your parents.
Outreach Program
The Outreach program needs items donated to make them available to needy people in our area.
● No living parents? Your property is then divided up between your siblings (or their children if your siblings have passed away).
Clothing - all sizes Shoes Socks Shampoo Soap
● If none of these people are living, your estate goes to your grandparents, and then to your aunts and uncles, your nieces and nephews, and then your cousins. Laws vary slightly from state to state, and each family situation can be different. Also keep in mind that none of this happens automatically--each one of these steps requires your family to file paperwork, submit requests, follow up with court officials, wade through legal documents, and so on.
Advertise with The Roane Reader
Distributed into 4 counties and the World Wide Web @ www.roanereader.com
Toothpaste Underclothes ĂďLJ ŝĂƉĞƌƐ and other items
Stamps & Cards School Supplies Back Packs Clothes Hangers ĂƐŚ ĚŽŶĂƟŽŶ
ƌŽƉ Kī dŝŵĞƐͲ tĞĚŶĞƐĚĂLJ͗ ϭϮ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ Θ dŚƵƌƐĚĂLJƐ Ͳ ϵ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ
Creating your own last will and testament helps your family and friends avoid this painful process altogether.
NEED TO INCREASE YOUR SALES?
Tooth brushes
The people who get the items will be screened and records will be kept to assure the program is used in the right way.
BILLY GRIGSBY, OWNER 354-9957 354-9290
DAMAGE FREE HAULING
1348 GATEWAY - ROCKWOOD
Please pray for the Outreach program. /Ĩ LJŽƵΖĚ ůŝŬĞ ƚŽ ǀŽůƵŶƚĞĞƌ͕ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ ƚŚĞ KƵƚƌĞĂĐŚ ůĞĂĚĞƌ͘ tĞ ŶĞĞĚ ƚŽ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ĂƫƚƵĚĞ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵ ĨŽƌ ŝƚ ƚŽ ǁŽƌŬ͘ Let God lead us in everything we do.
visit www.csstrong.org for more info
dŽ ĚŽŶĂƚĞ Žƌ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͕ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ &ĂLJĞ ĂŶŝĞůƐ͕ Outreach Leader at 865-590-7192 or 865-308-9283.
28 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
“Little River” - Chapter 3 by: Rachel Holbrook
www.roanereader.com
email: info@roanereader.com
March 2016
Grace shrugged and ignored his question. “Maybe if you?” your brother and sister helped more with Annie and the The guy who had knocked on the door was short and boys, you could have a family.” stocky, with short brown hair and thick, plastic glasses This time, Titus ignored her. Refilling his wine glass that didn’t seem to match the rest of his look. He held out that he had quickly drained, he said, “I think I hear his hand to Titus, who warily shook it. “I’m Jordan and Brady’s truck.” this is Kyle. We’re from First Baptist. We just wanted to Brady Bowers didn’t even bother with the perfunctory invite you to a special meeting we’re having next week. knock. He just walked right in, saying, “Sorry I’m late, We are having an evangelist from Louisiana named…”
Titus Schillings was tired. He was only thirty-four, but he felt at least ten years older. Twenty on a bad day. Physically, he was the picture of perfect health. Tall and lean, he was a natural runner. In high school, he had ran cross country. Now, he ran every morning before work on the shoulder of the road that ran along the banks of Titus held up his hand and cut the guy off in the middle Little River. And yet, most days, by the time he got home Man.” of his speech. “Thanks, but I’m not interested.” from work, he felt like he had been dragging the weight “It’s okay.” Titus said with a smile. “I just got everything on the table. And you just saved me from Grace Not to be deterred, Jordan asked, “Do you have a home of the world around all day. church?” Titus moved about the kitchen of his small, Craftsman nagging me to death.” style home. He hated that he was still living in the town he grew up in, but he loved his house. He had never intended to come back to Little River after grad school, but after his brother in law died almost seven years earlier, he felt like he had to stay and help his sister with her four sons. Annie wasn’t well, that much was obvious. So, every morning, he made the forty-five minute commute to work, and every evening, fighting rush hour traffic, it took him nearly an hour to get back home. His commute home was the reason for his bad mood as he prepared dinner for himself and a couple friends who were coming over.
As Titus was setting the table, he heard a knock on the door. Before he had time to respond, the door opened and his best friend since high school, Grace, walked in, carrying a bottle of wine and a store-bought cheesecake. “I brought dessert.” Grace said, as she gave Titus a peck on the cheek. “Awesome.” Titus reached for the bottle of wine. “More importantly, you brought booze.” “Bad day?” “The worst.” “What happened?” Grace rummaged through a drawer, looking for the corkscrew. “Just a bad day.” Titus stirred the pasta, and then turned to look at his friend. “Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. And then there was an accident on the Interstate on the way home. Traffic was backed up for two miles. I just got home a little while ago.” “When are you going to just move to Knoxville?” Grace asked as she offered the glass of wine she just poured to Titus. He accepted the glass with a sigh, and took a sip. “You know I can’t, Grace.” “You could if you weren’t such a good guy.” “Annie needs my help.” Titus ran his hand through his thick, sandy blond hair, causing it to stand on end. “And the boys need me.”
“Hey!” Grace held up her hands defensively. “I’m just “No, I don’t go to church.” Titus responded with trying to look out for you, since you won’t look out for uncharacteristic bluntness. yourself.” “Well, we would love to have you anytime, not just in Brady narrowed his eyes, but appeared to decide not our meeting next week.” Jordan didn’t seem at all ready to ask questions. He pulled out a chair, and sat down, to leave, and his buddy Kyle was smiling and nodding leaning back on two legs. He nodded to the wine bottle, enthusiastically behind him. “Can I have some of that?” “Thanks, but I don’t think so.” Titus was trying to Titus handed him the bottle, and then he and Grace sat shut the door, but Jordan had stepped forward and was down as Brady filled his glass to the top. slightly blocking it. Titus hated being rude, so he just “I guess I should have brought two.” Grace said, not stood there. bothering to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.
“I really think you would like our church if you were to give it a try.” Titus’ two best friends had maintained a love/hate relationship since they were all three in high school Titus was shaking his head, but Jordan didn’t give him together. They had both mellowed a lot toward each a chance to speak. other over the years, but they were always picking on “We have a really great pastor. His name is Jonathan each other. Schillings, and everyone really likes him. He’s a great Ignoring Grace’s comment about the wine, Brady said, preacher, and he’s got a real passion for reaching Little “Guess who I just ran into?” River for the Lord.” Jordan didn’t even pause long “Who?” Titus asked at the same time Grace said, “A enough to take a breath. “He’s a younger man, probably about your age.” Jordan squinted his eyes behind his woman, I presume.” thick glasses, as if he just saw something about Titus “Not just any woman.” Brady grinned. “Sexy Lexi.” that he hadn’t noticed before. “You know, you kind of “Lexi Jones?” Titus raised an eyebrow. remind me of him.” “Dear Lord!” Grace rolled her eyes. “Is she back in “Yeah.” Titus said dryly. “I get that a lot. He’s my town?” brother.” “Yes.” Brady nodded his head dramatically. “Yes, she For the first time since the door was opened, Jordan is.” was at a loss for words. He stepped back, and Titus took “Give it up, Man.” Titus laughed. “She turned you that opportunity to close the door. “Thanks anyway.” He down practically every day in high school. You need to said softly. let the dream die.” As Titus retreated back to the dining room, Grace tried “Oh, but you’re wrong, my friend.” Brady was clearly to hide a smile, and asked, “More wine?” enjoying himself. “Lexi was very happy to run into me. She said so. And…” Brady paused to make sure they “Little River” is an ongoing serial which debuted were both paying attention. “We’re going out for drinks on 6-30-15. New installments will be published every Friday night.” month in The Roane Reader. If you enjoy this serial “Seriously?” Grace was so surprised she forgot to look you can purchase “Little River” Vol. 1 from Amazon disgusted. in paperback or as a Kindle Brady was about to say something when he was book for easy reading on your e-reader devices. interrupted by a knock at the door. “Is that Jamie?”
“Your siblings could help out, you know. Annie’s their sister, too. And your parents, for that matter. Why don’t As Titus pushed back his chair and stood up, he shook his head and said, “No. He had to work late. He’s not they do more?” coming.” “They help with money.” Titus shrugged. “And they’re “Then who is it?” not that great with the boys.” Titus just shrugged, and walked across the room to the “And your brother and sister?” Grace challenged. door. When he opened it, there were two young guys “They’re both busy with their own families.” Titus in polo shirts and khaki pants who looked to be in their moved the food from the stove to the table, and checked early twenties standing on his front porch. “Can I help his watch. “Where’s Brady?”
Rachel Holbrook writes from her home in East Tennessee, where she lives with her husband and six children. She is currently seeking representation for her first novel.
March 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
Things that are dangerous to dogs Onions, Garlic, Leeks or Chives
www.roanereader.com
Pet’s Page
The goldfish is one of the most Onions, garlic, leeks and chives, which are all members of the popular fish to keep as pets in Allium genus, can damage healthy red blood cells, leading to aquariums, fish bowls, or small life-threatening anemia. Cooking these household staples won't ponds. They are actually the make them any less toxic, so leave them out of your pet's diet no most common household pet in the United States. matter how they're prepared.
How long do goldfish live?
Grapes or Raisins Grapes and raisins may look harmless, but they can cause illness and kidney damage in dogs. Clinical signs can occur within 24 hours of eating and include, vomiting, diarrhea and lethargy.
Raw Potatoes Feeding your pup a raw potato can be risky, especially if it has any green parts or sprouts. Potatoes contain solanin, a toxin that can cause drooling, vomiting, diarrhea and severe stomach upset.
Wild Mushrooms Wild mushrooms can be pretty, but they can also be deadly for dogs. Symptoms of mushroom poisoning can range from vomiting and hallucinating to liver failure and death. There are many different species of mushrooms and toxicity levels differ, so to be safe, keep your animal away from all wild mushrooms.
Apple Cores With Seeds and Stems It's fine for your dog to eat an apple slice or two, but don't give him the core. The core can include apple seeds, stems and leaves, which contain cyanide, a toxin that can cause dilated pupils, panting, difficulty breathing and shock. You'll also want to be cautious about other fruits with seeds, such as watermelon — offer only the fruit, not the seeds, stems or leaves.
Stone Fruits Stone fruits like peaches, nectarines, plums and cherries are not safe for dogs — their pits can be choking hazards. And choking isn't the only problem with these fruits: The stems, leaves and pits of apricots, plums, peaches and cherries also contain cyanide.
Rhubarb Leaves If you're making a rhubarb pie, make sure you carefully dispose of the leaves. The leaves of a rhubarb plant are toxic to pets and can cause kidney failure and tremors.
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." - Anonymous
A well kept goldfish in the perfect environment can live for years. Some goldfish have lived over 40 years. This type of longevity is rare. Many aquarium goldfish will live for 6-8 years when properly cared for.
email: info@roanereader.com
29 The Roane Reader
What it Really Means... "HERE KITTY KITTY ..." ...Means that humans want to take you somewhere, most likely the vet. Avoid it. "I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU!" ...Probably left over human food they were about to throw out. "HERE'S SOME KITTY TREATS..." ...Most likely another foil wrapped appeals-to-a-human Madison Ave concoction. Real kitty treats are usually opportunities when no one's paying attention and you get to lick the ice cream in the bowl, or jump on the table for that great piece of meat loaf.
"YOU ARE SOOOOO CUTE!" Goldfish are a freshwater fish ...You are about to rub noses with a human. They can never get and like to live in water that is enough of our tiny fur-coated bodies and irresistible faces. Human 50F to 76F. Many goldfish live noses are sooo warm. Ugh. in aquariums and small domesticated ponds, but some do live in "YOU'RE IN MY CHAIR!" or "YOU'RE TAKING UP TOO the wild. In the wild they live in MUCH OF THE BED!" slow moving rivers, lakes, and ...You picked the right spot. You are right where you should be. ponds. They like to eat plants and insects when living in the "DARN CAT HAIR!" wild. When living in aquariums, ...You left your hair out in the open where humans can see it and they like a lot of space. At least properly clean it up. 10 gallons of water for each fish, but the more space the better as "STOP THAT!" this gives them more oxygen, ...Means you were caught. Remember exactly where you were and which they get out of the water. get back to it - once they leave the house.
Where do goldfish live?
Adopt a Pet!
"GET OUT OF HERE!" ...Do not take this personally. It's usually the first thing they say after you wake them up by sticking your backside in their face.
Roane County Animal Shelter
SNAPPING OF FINGERS: ...They want you to come over. If they want me, they'll come get me. Otherwise, get a dog.
296 Manufacturers Rd Rockwood, Tennessee. "I LOVE YOU..." ...Means just that. No translation needed here. And we love you, too. (865) 354-7387
ROANE COUNTY PAWS
Our mission is to improve the welfare of animals in Roane County
HOMEOWNERS
GREAT RATES • SUPERIOR COVERAGE
YOU CHOOSE YOUR DEDUCTIBLE FULL ROOF REPLACEMENT • FULL REPLACEMENT VALUE ON HOME
Traughber Insurance Paul Traughber & Financial Svcs, Inc. Agent/Owner
Over 25 Years Experience
420 Ruritan Rd, Harriman TN 37748 Ph: 865-882-1900 • Fax: 865-882-1908 Email: traughber@bellsouth.net
We issue vouchers each month to Planned Pethood. We are working with Mark Neely at the Rockwood City Animal Shelter in his established pet food pantry. We educate others about the importance of spaying and neutering, vaccinating, caring for, and properly vetting pets. We are a not for profit organization. We are not a 501c3. We rely on the donations of our community members to fund our vouchers and assist with pet care needs. Each dollar donated goes directly toward the care of pets in our area.
Please consider making a donation to Roane County Paws Checks can be mailed to 119 Arrowood Lane, Harriman, TN 37748 or dropped off at First Bank of TN in South Harriman. For more information, contact Hope Gibson at 865-250-6966 or Cindy Hickey at 865-607-2865
30 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
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email: info@roanereader.com
1134 Georgia St. Harriman, Tn 37748 Serving 4 counties with 7,500 issues distributed monthly
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Serving four counties roane | Morgan | Anderson | cumberland (865) 882-9340 | www.roanereader.com | info@roanereader.com
March 2016
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Phone: 865-882-9340
March 2016
Job Opening List yours free @ www.roanereader.com/job Would you like to make a difference in the lives of others? Victorian Square has the following positions available for caring and compassionate individuals. * Cook: Full-time * Servers: Part-time, * Housekeeper: Part-time / evenings – some lifting required If you are interested, please apply in person. Victorian Square is located at 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue in Rockwood.
Business Directory www.roanereader.com/businesslistings Name A & A Electric A & C Cleaners AllCare Anytime Fitness Attic Fanatics Marketplace
Address 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763 413 Devonia St, Harriman, Tn 37748 1226 S Roane St, Harriman, Tn 37748 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763
B & M Wrecker Service
1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854
Big Emory Church Benchmark Church Carriage Hill Insurance CB Man
1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 961 E. Tri-County Blvd. Oliver Springs, Tn 37840 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8, Rockwood, Tn 37854 www.truckers-more-cb-radio-range.com 215 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 - First Baptist 229 Carter Ave. Harriman, Tn 37748 - West Care 101 Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 2104 S. Congress Parkway 230 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Celebrate Recovery Christmas Lumber Co. Clayton Homes (Athens) Cochran's Tax and Bookkeeping Coldwell Banker Cheryl Laxton Coldwell Banker Glenda Johnson Coldwell Banker Sherry Tipton Credit Central Eagle Mart Eddies Body Shop Ellis Surplus & Salvage Fraker Funeral Home Gadget's Hobby Shop Gary's Pest Control Grants Tree Service Grasscutters G & S Construction Guinnbilt Portable Buildings
410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 10815 Kingston Pike Knoxville, Tn 37934 705 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1238 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763 204 Trenton St. Harriman, Tn 37748 P.O. Box 1026 Harriman, Tn 37748 160 Country Club Dr. Rockwood, TN, 37854 2641 Sugar Grove Valley Rd Harriman, TN 37748 Harriman Area
Happy Paws Harriman Home Center Health Markets Insurance Agency Matthew Libby Hugh Russell Motors, LLC Hwy 29-A Motors Inc Integrity Auto Sales Jamestowne Assisted Living Jerrys Used Furniture Jim Rummell Collectibles
707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
J. Neal Jewelry
416 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Joes Mowing Junior's Restaurant KARM Stores Kingston Express Lube Kingston Parks & Recreation Kittrell's Kitchen KTB Taxes Logs to Lumber
214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 1496 N. Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 www.kingstonparks.com 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 111 South 3rd St. Kingston, Tn 37763 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771
L & J Home Repair
148 Hensley Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763
Phone (865) 617-5998 (865) 376-4589 (865) 590-7453 (865) 590-7429 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290 (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (423) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865)
285-1390 384-3711 394-1356 394-1358 882-2362 745-4752 882-8556 376-2121 740-2440 376-2121 591-6900 966-1111 622-1213 882-1324 882-6265 882-6474 387-3572 717-7727 882-7528 882-5794 399-7247 250-3656 389-6913 882-5309 804-4400 310-4677 224-9640 882-3931
806 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763
(865) 414-8257
1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 2645 Harriman Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865)
882-1165 882-6462 285-9246 376-3030 882-3603 224-0431 234-7100 250-2710 223-3090 354-2802
(865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865)
717-8288 376-1356 376-3060 376-0122 986-4264 466-2735 223-3090 622-1213
Mary Kay - Sherry Tipton Mid-East Community Action Agency P.O. Box 790 Kingston, Tn 37763
(865) 376-2308
Midtown Florist & Gifts
(865) 882-3603
2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
Mostoller, Stulberg, Whitfield & Allen 136 S. Illinois Ave., Sute 104 Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 Law Firm (Social Security Disability) Patti Savage Designs Princess Theatre Quality Home Health Radio 580-AM Realty Executives Brenda Chapman Renos Sporting Goods Roane County Paws
119 Arrowood Ln., Harriman, Tn 37748
Roane County Trustee Roane Reader
P.O. Box 296 Kingston, Tn 37763 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Robert James & Associates
615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763
Rockwood Village Apartments Rosemary's Florist S.L. Bowman & Sons
601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
Seal Coat Specialist
Harriman Area
Senator Ken Yager Sextons Automotive Group Shelton Financial Protection Shepherd Plumbing Spotted Spaniel State Farm - Bill McFarland Taxes Done Right
6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 Roane County Area 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 119 North Gateway Avenue 1251 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Tellico Propane
1375 Monterey Road Loudon, TN 37774
Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Victorian Square Assisted Living Walnut Hill Outreach Program Your Time Clock & Watch Repair
715 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, TN 37763 421 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 482-4466
319 West Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
(865) (865) (423) (865)
3232 Tazewell Pike Knoxville, Tn 37918
(865) 688-3232
430 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-2450 (865) 250-6966 (865) 607-2865 (865) (865) (800) (865) (865) (865) (864) (865) (615) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (865) (888)
789-2706 882-4633 346-3302 250-6718
882-9340 376-4925 530-5700 354-3945 376-4484 354-0600 640-1654 223-3976 741-1449 882-2416 376-0321 354-8518 483-0961 354-9453 465-5575 408-9050 294-9234
email: info@roanereader.com
31 The Roane Reader
Find a Roane Reader www.roanereader.com/findone Name Anytime Fitness Big E Quick Mart Big Johns Bob's Hamburgers Cochran's Tax Service Coin Laundry (Harriman) Dollar General Market Eagles Food Mart Eddies Body Shop Food City (Harriman) Harriman Care & Rehab Center Harriman Jewelry Exchange Harriman Public Library Hugh Russell Motors Midtown Florist & Gifts Mossy Grove Food Mart Roane Medical Center Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets (Scott's MKT) Rocky Top Markets Save-A-Lot (Harriman) Schilo Foodmart Sexton Automotive Group Traughber Insurance Oasis Food Mart Harriman Home Center Renos Sporting Goods Roane Street Grill Cost Saver Exxon Food City (Kingston) Jamestowne Assisted Living Roane County Court House Rock Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Zoning Office Spotted Spaniel Anderson County Tobacco and Market Food City (Oliver Springs) Jones Grocery Marathon Fuel Center Coin Laundry (Oliver Springs) B & M wrecker Big E's Bridge At Rockwood Carriage Hill Insurance Hardees (Rockwood) Junior's Restaurant Rockwood Care & Rehab Center Rockwood Village Apartments Rocky Top Markets S.L. Bowman & Sons Inc Victorian Square Assisted Living Wal-mart Supercenter Darnell Food Market Hardees (Wartburg) Save-A-Lot (Wartburg) Sexton Ford
Address 1226 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 2843 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 828 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 3209 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 230 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 1301 S. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 201 Ruritan Rd Harriman,TN 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman,TN 37748 514 Emory Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1130 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 240 Hannah Road Harriman,TN 37748 509 Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 601 Walden Ave Harriman,TN 37748 1007 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 2744 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 1705 Morgan County Highway Harriman,TN 37748 8045 Roane Medical Center Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1811 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 2722 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 102 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1225 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1901 Harriman Highway Harriman,TN 37748 269 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 420 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 635 Old Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 707 Old Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 430 N. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 812 N Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 615 North Kentucky Street Kingston,TN 37763 1007 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 1000 Ladd Landing Boulevard Kingston,TN 37763 851 Lawnville Road Kingston,TN 37763 200 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 935 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 200 West Race St Kingston,TN 37763 104 Bluff Road Kingston,TN 37763 308 North 3rd Street Kingston,TN 37763 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge,TN 37830 S1 705 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 508 East Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37840 4306 Knoxville Highway Oliver Springs,TN 37840 704 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 903 E Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37748 1348 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 320 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8 Rockwood,Tn 37854 504 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 214 West Rockwood Street Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 601 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 101 South Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 521 North Front Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 241 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1102 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1014 Main Street Wartburg,TN 37887 1122 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 3910 Morgan County Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 1226 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887
Phone Number (865) 590-7429 (865) 882-7888 (865) 882-2822 (865) 882-5300 (865) 882-8556 (865) 882-0880 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 882-0117 (865) 882-1613 (865) 882-4000 (865) 882-3195 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-3603 (423) 346-5858 (865) 319-1000 (865) 882-7779 (865) 882-0075 (865) 882-0706 (865) 882-5446 (865) 882-7726 (800) 688-0833 (865) 882-1900 (865) 882-0602 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-2450 (865) 285-6025 (865) 717-0038 (865) 376-4059 (865) 376-7534 (865) 376-3030 (865) 376-2487 (865) 376-1771 (865) 717-2832 (865) 717-4230 (865) 483-0961 (865) 435-2662 (865) 435-5353 (423) 324-4932 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-3366 (865) 285-1390 (865) 354-4004 (865) 354-2802 (865) 354-3303 (865) 354-3945 (865) 354-2809 (865) 354-0600 (865) 354-1133 (865) 354-0863 (423) 346-3344 (423) 346-7666 (423) 346-6767 (866) 211-2642
Description Inside on wall at front window Inside on the "order here" counter Inside under counter Outside under the tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on top of Coin Machine Outside in our tabloid rack Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the waiting room Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on counter Inside in magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the cashier counter Inside in the magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside to the left under the magazine racks Inside under the counter in the magazine rack Out front beside the Roane County News rack Inside in magazine rack Inside the show room Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside under the coat rack Inside the lobby Inside under the magazine racks Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the front desk Inside the door Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the front desk Inside on the counter Inside on top of the lottery booth Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the tabloid racks Inside under counter Inside on tables Inside on the counter Inside Inside on the front desk Inside on desk Inside on top of the dividers Inside the door to the left in the magazine rack Inside on the front desk Inside on the front desk Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the counter Inside on the front desk Inside our tabloid rack across from self checkout Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the divider wall Inside under tabloid racks Inside the show room
*8,11%,/7 3257$%/( %8,/',1*6 .
Serving East Tn since 1975
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8x8................$895............................$995 8x10................$995..........................$1095 8x12..............$1095..........................$1245 10x10..............$1195..........................$1245 10x12..............$1295..........................$1495
Custom Build Any Size, Any Style, Your Place Or Ours
10x16..............$1695..........................$1895
420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-1900
10x20..............$2195..........................$2395
1220 Bowman Bend Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, Tn 37854
(865) (865) (865) (865)
865-882-5309 865-804-4400
376-4822 354-1133 590-7192 466-5805
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offering Roane and surrounding counties
Parts and Collision Repair
865-882-2416 Service Hours:
Mon. - Fri. 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. *Sat. 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. *(Express Lube only)
YOUR RENTAL PLACE FOR - 12-passenger vans