March 2013

20 Roane Reader facebook.com/roanereader

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VOLUME 20

March 2013

March 17th

Established 1993

NUMBER 5

7,000

Distributed

Growing up in Harriman

5

Precious Memories

2

By Pete Semanick

By Kay Christopher

Round Racin'

Racing news or views

Bible Beat

Quizzes, puzzles, facts

8&9

Seen and Heard

2

Entertainment

3

Writer's Page

17

Aunt Hattie

10

By our readers

Trivia, facts, movie mistakes

Our readers submitted writings

Hurry-up recipes

According to the Almanac When to do what

Mother, Interrupted

By Debra Carpenter

4 14

Obituaries

7

Fun & Facts for Kids only

15

Can You Find Me多

12

Monthly

FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER @ www.roanereader.com/findone Pick one up before they are all gone!

12

And Adults

By The Phantom

Report from the State Senate

By Sen. Ken Yager

14

2 The Roane Reader

The Fence

SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY

● ●

● ● ● ●

By O.I. Seenya Has anyone noticed the amount of trash on I-40 from Harriman to the I-75 split. This is ridiculous Roane County. We can do better than this, have some respect for God's beautiful creation!!

A lone sign at the entrance way to the new Roane Medical Center, reading “This is a tobacco free campus, inside and out.” This is ridiculous not to allow me to smoke OUTSIDE or in my private vehicle. I didn’t see anything on a sign about no alcohol allowed, or no illegal drug use allowed, or no weapons allowed-but don’t you smoke a cigarette!

Five wild turkeys walking across the pavement of a road. When asked why the turkeys crossed the road, someone replied, “To show a possum it could be done.”

Someone pulling up to a fast food drive-through window to pay for their food, only to be informed that the strangers in the car ahead of them had already paid for their meal.

When a child saw a deer head hanging on a wall, he was asked where the rest of the deer was, to which he immediately answered that it was on the other side of the wall.

A man walking his dog, and after stopping to let the dog relieve himself, he took a tissue and wiped the dog's backside! Come on, man, IT'S A DOG!

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There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer ...a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.

Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

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Precious Memories

March 2013

By: Kay Christopher

Big Emory Church We moved from Emory Gap to Little Emory when I was in the 6th grade at the end of the school year.

Before that, I attended South Harriman Elementary School, which is now Bowers, on the first day it opened after it was built.

To go from that new, spotless building to a school that was so outdated and runned down would have made a normal kid cry--but not me.

First of all, the kids at Emory School were unusual. There was a kind of personal pride in their school and the whole Emory area that I had never seen before. The kids didn’t realize how outdated their school was. They didn’t realize what an inconvenience it was to have to walk outside, half way around the school to a classroom or the bathroom, and they just accepted the fact that if you were thirsty enough, you would drink the warm sulphur water that stunk like rotten eggs (not an exaggeration) Sports ruled at Little Emory. If you went to school there, you played sports, and the whole community showed up to watch the games.

Then there was church. I always just called the church Little Emory, but the old timers around there resented that, saying they were just as big as any other place. So, I always simply referred to it as Emory Church.

I spent so many good times in the church. So many good people were and still are lifetime members there. (There’s also been a few rascals among them, but all in all-they were more good people than bad).

I remember the good services I listened to there as a kid, and the great Vacation Bible Schools they had ever summer.

There are so many faithful members, and many of them have passed on, but nonetheless, a few stick out in my mind. Myrtle McKinney and Nannie Scandlyn were the two I remember most.

They made sure all us kids in the neighborhood had a way to church and back every meeting. There were also some great teachers I remember such as Imogene Scandlyn, Mrs. Ellis, and Mark Collins.

I recently had the occasion to visit Emory Church and I saw a lot of new faces, but I was also surprised to see some people I had not seen in over 50 years still there, and yes, I’m that old.

The church has expanded and built a whole new, beautiful sanctuary. Which as I heard, was badly needed as they were busting out at the seams in the old church.

They also obtained ownership of the old school and have renovated it and brought it back to life with events and classes being held in it.

While visiting the church, everyone was so friendly, and each one welcomed us and invited us back. It reminded me of the way I felt the first time I walked into Emory School, and witnessed the closeness and the pride each individual had for their school, community, and church.

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover?

You don't want to press your luck The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, Tn 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.

Five best Irish movies in the opinion of Christopher James, a sophomore screenwriting and marketing double major “In America� (2003) An Irish family dealing with the loss of their youngest child makes their way to America in search of a prosperous future despite the forces of social adversity. “In America� does a great job of painting an unflinching but not sensationally bleak portrait of immigration and poverty. The acting is all across the board great For those looking for an emotionally-involving family drama, “In America� would be a great addition to your St. Patrick’s Day weekend. “Once� (2007) This micro-budget romance tells the story of a man and a woman who bond during their collaboration on a folk album. With careful pacing, honest chemistry and a great soundtrack which features the Oscar-winning song “Falling Slowly� sung by the two leads, “Once� became a sleeper hit and proved that romance, even on the smallest of scales, can be a radical and grandiose emotion. “In The Name of Our Father� (2003) One of my favorite father-son stories focuses on the strained relationship between Gerry and Giuseppe Conlon. As Gerry is coerced into taking accountability for an Irish Republic Army bombing he didn’t commit, both he and his oblivious father are imprisoned in a maximum security prison. Enlisting the help of a hardened attorney, the two men fight for their innocence while mending their troubled relationship. The performances are all uniformly great, with each of the three leads receiving well-deserved Oscar nominations. “The Crying Game� (1992) This dark mystery, which centered upon a British soldier being captured by members of the IRA and befriending one of his captors, turned into a sleeper sensation. Perhaps the best discovery in the film is Jaye Davidson, who plays the tricky role of Dil, the girlfriend of the captured British soldier who starts dating Fergus. Neil Jordan’s superb direction and taut screenplay makes “The Crying Game� the perfect shocking mystery to lend some suspense to your St. Patrick’s Day celebration. “Hunger� (2008) Directors Steve McQueen and Michael Fassbender are a creative force to be reckoned with. McQueen wrote and directed this haunting film about an Irish Republican leading the inmates of a Northern Ireland prison in a hunger strike, which creates much media attention for their cause. Operating as nearly a silent film, “Hunger� is always challenging and not one for the squeamish. However, it is an immensely rewarding experience as McQueen’s fantastic direction not only puts the audience in the shoes of Bobby Sands and the other inmates, but makes the viewers experience the pain and hunger exhibited by the characters.

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Coca-Cola green.

was

originally

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong.

State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33 Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

St.Patrick’s Day legends Saint Patrick Saint Patrick's Day is celebrated to honor Saint Patrick, a missionary credited with converting the Irish to Christianity. It is believed that he was not even Irish. Some say he was born in either Scotland or in Roman Britain. When he was around 60 years old, St. Patrick traveled to Ireland and spread the Christian word.

Shamrock The shamrock is one of Ireland's most famous symbols. It is said that Saint Patrick used the shamrock, and it's 3 leaves to explain the concept of the Trinity - the father, son, and the Holy Spirit. The shamrock is also associated with good luck! Many people them on St. Patrick's Day. Leprechaun The legendary is an elf-like creature. In most pictures he looks like a small, old man. They like to spend their time alone making shoes.

They live in the woods and hide from everyone. They are said to keep their pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. Some stories say that if he likes you, he will share his gold. Others say you must catch a leprechaun, and then he will take you to his pot of gold.

Blarney Stone The famous Blarney Stone is not pretend, it really exists! It is set in the wall of the Blarney Castle in the Irish village of, what else, Blarney. You can visit and kiss the Blarney stone, but it is not an easy fete. To reach the Blarney stone, you must lie down on your back and bend your head backwards and downwards to reach it. It is said that kissing the Blarney Stone will give you the gift of blarney, or speaking convincingly to all you meet!

Snake The story goes that St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into the sea. He did this by beating on a drum. It was believed that snakes were a symbol of evil and by driving them away St. Patrick helped to rid Ireland of evil.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.

Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!

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N

By: Kay Christopher

P

ENTERTAINMENT

3 The Roane Reader

Did You Know that...

h ES

March 2013

Fruit Baskets Amish Butter, Jams & Jellies TN Honey and Specialty Candies

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4 The Roane Reader

March 2013

“I read it on the internet”

according to the almanac

Cinnamon & Honey

March 2013

Drug companies won't like this one getting around. Facts on Honey and Cinnamon: It is found that a mix of honey and Cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world.

Scientists of today also note honey as very effective medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without side effects which is also a plus. Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, when it is taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm even diabetic patients.

HEART DISEASES: Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, put it on toast instead of jelly and jam and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol and could potentially save one from heart attack. Also, even if you have already had an attack studies show you could be kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of cinnamon honey strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as one ages the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and the veins.

ARTHRITIS: Arthritis patients can benefit by taking one cup of hot water with two tablespoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. When taken daily even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week (out of the 200 people so treated) practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain -and within a month, most all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis now started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS: Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder....who knew?

CHOLESTEROL: Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water given to a cholesterol patient was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, when taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol-could be cured. According to information received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS: Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and, clear the sinuses, and it's delicious too!

UPSET STOMACH: Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also is said to clear stomach ulcers from its root.

GAS: According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that when Honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

NOTICE TO ROANE COUNTY TAXPAYERS

Best days to...

March

Begin diet to gain weight.........................15.25 Begin diet to lose weight.......................2,10,30 Breed animals.....................................2,3,29,30 Castrate animals...........................................8,9 Cut hair to discourage growth..................10,28 Cut hair to encourage growth...................15,16 Cut hay.....................................................12,13 Destroy pests and weeds..........................12,13 Harvest aboveground crops......................15,16 Harvest belowground crops....................7,8,26 Have dental care..................................24,25,26 Plant aboveground crops................11,12,20,21 Plant belowground crops....................2,3,29,30 Prune to discourage growth.....................4,5,31 Prune to encourage growth......................12,13 Quit smoking.........................................2,10,30 Set posts or pour concrete............................6,7 Slaughter livestock.............................2,3,29,30 Start projects.............................................12,13 Wean animals or children.......................2,10,30

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THE TRUSTEE’S OFFICE WILL BE OPEN SATURDAY, FEB. 23 FROM 8:30 A.M. TO NOON.

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Temperature 55° (1° below avg.)

Precipitation 6" (1" below south) Mar 1-7: Rain, then sunny, cold; Mar 8-12: T-Storms, then sunny, warm; Mar 13-18: T-Storms south, then sunny, cold; Mar 19-22: Sunny, warm; Mar 23-28: T-Storms, warm; Mar 23-28: Sunny, cool.

It is believed that 35% of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

2012 TAXES WILL BECOME DELIQUENT ON MARCH 1, 2013.

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March 2013

Community “Relatives”

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

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In terms of diameter, the largest hailstone on record fell in South Dakota, in July 2010.

The stone measured 8 inches across, which is similar to the size of a small bowling ball. It likely was even larger when it fell, however, because it is believed to have melted somewhat before it was measured. Previously, the largest hailstone on record was a stone that fell in Nebraska, in 2003. That hailstone measured 7 inches in diameter.

The cores of hailstones contain significant amounts of bacteria that are similar to the bacteria found in snowflakes.

Hailstones can fall from a height of 30,000 feet and approach the earth at speeds of as much as 120 m.p.h.

Snowflakes form in a wide variety of intricate shapes, leading to the popular expression that "no two are alike". Although statistically possible, it is very unlikely for any two snowflakes to appear exactly alike due to the many changes in temperature and humidity the crystal experiences during its fall to earth. Initial attempts to find identical snowflakes by photographing thousands of them with a microscope from 1885 onward by Wilson Alwyn Bentley found the wide variety of snowflakes we know about today. It is more likely that two snowflakes could become virtually identical if their environments were similar enough. A snowflake 15 inches in diameter was seen during a storm on this day in January 1887 at Fort Keogh in the state of Montana, according to the New York Times. The flakes during the storm were described as ‘larger than milk pans’, according to news reports at the time. Although sightings of such significant snowflakes are rare – formations of this size are often broken up as they fall to Earth – it is not uncommon to see snowflakes with diameters as large as six inches.

There is every reason to suppose that such instances might occur almost every day during winter somewhere in Europe or the maritime fringes of North America and Asia.

REDMAN

Just across the street from my corner on Crescent on Siluria Street, lived a trio of widows: Aunt Grace, called “Acie”, Mrs. Cooper and Mrs. Gray. It was common to enter their home without knocking, but most often someone was on the porch. Aunt Acie made the best rice pudding I have ever tasted. Even to this day, my granddaughter, following the attempts of my own daughters, will make this favorite dish for me.

Aunt Acie always made sure to call me over to the house when she made this mouthwatering delight. She later died an agonizing death to cancer, a memory that still saddens me greatly.

Like many young boys, I had a Red Ryder BB gun. I wasn’t supposed to, but once when I shooting it from my front porch, one of my stray bb pellets happened to lodge in Mrs. Cooper’s eye. Fortunately, no damage was done, but I was given a hearty spanking and a severe reminder from my grandma Mattie not to shoot the gun from the porch-I never did it again.

The Goddards lived two houses up from the widows. Uncle Earl Goddard, known to everyone as “Uncle” even without relation, lived in a small cabin at the rear of the main Goddard house. A World War I veteran, I would often listen to his tales of war.

He would even don his old uniform and wrap his legs with long odd colored strips of cloth. Derived from a Hindi word meaning “strip of cloth” the puttee was nine feet long and wrapped around the lower leg from the ankle to below the knee.

“Uncle Earl” worked at the Harriman Grain and Commission Warehouse as a truck driver delivery man. During the summer months when I wasn’t in school he would take me on day deliveries outside of Harriman. I have vivid recollections of my trips Atlanta, Chattanooga and the Brushy Mountain penitentiary at Petros.

The Atlanta trip was to pickup produce at a large open produce market. The most exciting part of this trip was watching the black laborers at the market load our open bed 1 and 1/2 ton stake truck as well as the other waiting trucks with watermelons. The melons were stacked high and fresh from the farmer’s fields. A line of black men would hand melons to one another until each truck was full. During the loading the men would hum and sing folk songs. While all the trucks were being loaded, the sounds of humming and singing could be heard throughout the market, yielding a most sweet-sounding and pleasant music.

On one Chattanooga trip we went to the warehouse of a pickle factory to pickup cases of canned sauerkraut and pickles in jars. Inside the plant were tall and huge round wooden vats containing brine with pickles and brewing sauerkraut, and above wooden walkways. The strong odors were overwhelming. I was always glad to leave this place and breathe the fresh outside air.

The trip to Brushy Mountain prison was very sobering to my eyes. As we approached I saw the high steel fence with barbed wire on top and the gate guards searched the truck before we could enter. Once inside the prison area the men were dressed in their proverbial white caps, shirts and trousers with large black stripes. When leaving the prison, we went through another search of the vehicle. Even though Uncle Earl was known by most of the guards the search was thorough. During our drive back to Harriman Uncle Earl would tell me some of the reasons these men were in prison and, knowing what I had seen, I sure didn’t want to ever be in a prison.

At my tender age of 8 and 9, my familial neighbors took me under their wing. I was a boy living with his grandmother without a Dad and Mom; their friendship, generosity and guidance was a gift of love.

5 The Roane Reader

9

By: Pete Semanick Pete Semanick was born in Harriman on September 19th, 1930. This is the 3rd entry of a series of articles recounting his youth in Harriman, Tennessee.

For questions or comments contact psemanic@swcp.com

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6 The Roane Reader

Heart Attack & Water

The Benefits of Aspirin

According to Dr. Virend Somers, a Cardiologist from the Mayo Clinic, most heart attacks occur in the day, generally between 6 A.M. and noon. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at rest, means that something unusual happened. Somers and his colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnea is to blame.

1. If you take an aspirin or a baby aspirin once a day, take it at night.

The reason: Aspirin has a 24-hour "half-life"; therefore, if most heart attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the Aspirin would be strongest in your system.

2. FYI, Aspirin lasts a really long time in your medicine chest for years, (when it gets old, it smells like vinegar).

Something that we can do to help ourselves - nice to know.

Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve instantly on the tongue.

They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep Aspirin by your bedside? It's about Heart Attacks There are other symptoms of a heart attack, besides the pain on the left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating; however, these symptoms may also occur less frequently.

Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack.

The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep did not wake up.

However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.

Afterwards: - Call 911. - Phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by.

- Say "heart attack!" - Say that you have taken 2 Aspirins. - Take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and ....DO NOT LIE DOWN!

March 2013

I asked my Doctor why people need to urinate so much at night time. Answer from my Cardiac Doctor: Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. This then ties in with the last statement!

I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me.

Correct time to drink water... Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist!

Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs.

1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion 1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack I can also add to this... My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse.

MARRIAGE

Marriage is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...the husband and wife are the peanut butter and the jelly.

They're much better together than they are apart.

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March 2013

Obituaries

7 The Roane Reader

Did you know?

Jan. 24th Feb. 10th 1. The phrase 'rule of thumb' is Beecher Bell, 89, Kingston Tommy Clower, 69, Rockwood derived from an old English Jeffery Wayne Byrge, 48, Coalfield James “Jimmy” Ellis, 61, Kingston law which stated that you Leo “Bud” Meyer, 77, Kingston Feb. 13th Jan. 25th Douglas C. Boone, 58, Kingston couldn't beat your wife with Oscar P. Taylor, 81, Kingston Ronald E. Jones, Sr., 71, Harriman anything wider than your Louise Fairchild, 80, Oliver Springs Feb. 14th thumb.

Anna Kennedy Smith, 71, Wartburg (Donnie) Holder, 68, Midtown 2. A pregnant goldfish is called “Podjo” Newhouse, 74, Kingston Feb. 17th a twit.

Jan. 26th Ewing (Shine) Sitzlar, 80, Kingston 3. The 'sixth sick sheik's sixth Wilma G. McCaleb, 70, Harriman Hannah Sylvester, 67, Harriman sheep's sick' is thought to be the Beverly Ann Church, 59, Rockwood Marvin Moseley, 88,Harriman toughest tongue twister in the Betty Jean Tinch, 63, Rockwood T. R. Brummett, 85, Kingston English language.

Rayburn Seiber, 67, Coalfield Joann M. Moody, 78, Rockwood Jan. 27th Feb. 18th 4. Charlie Chaplin once won Fletcher Melton, Jr. 76, Harriman Hugh Kender Foster, 78, Harriman only third prize in a Charlie Richard D. Carter Sr., 70, Kingston Feb. 19th Chaplin look-alike contest.

Lucille Lunsford, 90, Oliver Spgs Linda Breazeale, 65, Harriman 5. Each king in a deck of Jan. 28th Kevin Stone, 35, Rockwood playing cards represents a great Douglas Galyon, 72, Philadelphia Charles Howard, 74, Harriman king from history: Spades Wanda F. Shadoan, 75, Oliver Spgs Carol Ooten, 61, Harriman King David Clubs - Alexander Jan. 29th Feb. 20th Great, HeartsBilly G. Knowles, 72, Philadelphia William “Bill” Wolfe, 89, Rockwood the Charlemagne, and Diamonds Elma Claudine Basler, 72, Harriman Feb. 21st Aline E. Messer, 96, Harriman David Brooks, 72, Harriman Julius Caesar.

Jan. 30th Feb. 22nd 6. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = James (Jim) Limburg, Kingston Edith Moore, 93, Harriman 12,345,678,987,654,321 Nelda Adams, 78 Kingston Donald Edward Key II, 55, Harriman 7. The name Jeep came from Joan Ava Lawson, 64, Oliver Springs Feb. 22nd the abbreviation used in the Jan. 31st Edna Barnes, 95, Rockwood army for the 'General Purpose' John R. Rogers, Sr., 88, Harriman Feb. 23rd Feb. 1st William “Curtis” Hembree, 80, Kingston vehicle, G.P. 8. The cruise liner, Queen Jerry Edward Rice, 70, Ten Mile Feb. 24th Bertha "Nancy" Ray, 80, Harriman Reba Ryans Hancock, 91, Rockwood Elizabeth II, moves only six Roger Dale Braden, 62, Frost Bottom Leonard “Tex” Thompson, 81, inches for each gallon of diesel Rema Litton, 87, Oakdale Rockwood that it burns.

Feb. 2nd Feb. 25th Lucy Lively, 92, Harriman Homer Hamby, Kingston Milton Lamont Martin, 56, Kingston Opal Teasley Waldo, 73, Rockwood Margaret Thompson, 82, Rockwood Feb. 3rd Zelda Marie Reno, Harriman Arthur Leroy Edwards, 79, Harriman Feb. 4th Jesse “Gene” Bale, 80, Kingston David Register, 49, Kingston Feb. 5th Lorita Faye Bane, 86, Rockwood, Joseph Robert Palko, 88, Harriman Feb. 6th Joe M. Underwood, 89, Harriman Herbert (Al) Jones, Jr. 74, Kingston Lois Summers, 72, Rockwood Feb. 7th Michael Scott Settle, 56, Kingston "Elizabeth" Harris, 86, Kingston Rose Marie Litton, 57, Harriman SHERRY TIPTON Feb. 8th Independent Beauty Consultant Henry Vann Burris, 88, Dyllis www.marykay.com/stipton David Dwane Beeler, 58, Kingston ird reer Th a C 865-622-1213 , Feb. 9th d Secon Jewell C. Jones, 85, Kingston amily F , t s r i God F Sophia Mayton, 2 ½, Harriman Mary Ruth Ensley, 80, Kingston

10 Ways the Bible Would Be Different If Written By College Students 10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.

9. The Ten Commandments would have been only five; they would have been double-spaced and written in a large font.

8. The Bible would have come out in a new edition every two years in order to limit reselling.

7. The reason the forbidden fruit would have been eaten was because it wasn't cafeteria food.

6. Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

5. The reason Cain would have killed Abel: They were roommates.

4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.

2. Reason why Moses and followers would have wandered in the desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

Easter Blessings from the Fraker Family

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Bible Beat

8 The Roane Reader

Bible Quest 1. What did the sailors of the ship Jonah was on do to increase their chances of survival?

2. Who was Jacob’s mother?

3. How long will the Kingdom of God last?

4. Which is the longest Psalm?

5 In which town was Jesus born?

6. How were sins forgiven in the Old Testament?

7. How were the Thessalonians told to pray?

8 What happened to the city of Jericho after the priests blew their trumpets?

9. Which garden did Jesus go to, to pray in before his arrest?

10. Who was instructed by God to leave his home and family to travel to a country he did not know?

March 2013

Answers to

Bible Quest

Is There Life In Outer Space?

Jon 1:5 Gen 27:11 2 Pe 1:11 Psalm119 Matt 2:1 Lev 4 1 Th 5:17 Josh 6:20 Matt 26:36 Gen 12:1

Betty Miller The only worlds the Bible speaks of as being inhabited are this earth, heaven and hell. This does not rule out the possibility of other galaxies that have planets that contain life but the Bible was given to man so he would know how to live in this life and procure heavenly life in the world to come.

To speculate on things that the Bible is silent about is presumptuous to me. Many people are spending hours seeking to understand the mysteries of the universe but haven’t even taken the time to understand the mysteries of this life that are revealed in the Bible. To me it is more egotistical to theorize and allow my imagination to conjure up things that the Bible is silent about. Many people seeking the mysteries of outer space are prone to receiving suggestions and suppositions that are not Biblically based. When we delve into things that the Bible is not commanding us to seek we open ourselves up to deception. As Christians our goal should be to first be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ and to then get the gospel out.

I do not know everything God has in store for His children in the world to come, perhaps exploring the galaxies is one of them. However, we should leave those things to God and the future we have been promised in Him. 1 Corinthians 2:9: “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

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Happy Birthday

Alva Moore

March 15th

Play online @

www.joanyedwards.com/wordsearch/A2IBaptizeYouwithWater.html

I Will Baptize You with Water, Matthew 3:1-12

Like the people who were baptized by John, God wants you to repent for your sins. He wants you to tell him, "I am sorry." Just being sorry is not enough. You must also change your ways. He wants you to say, "I will never do it again." Ask for his help. God will show you how to stop doing things that make him sad.

H A I R X R I V E R V I P E R S L S F H

C F J O H N V I D P G L M I S A I A H O

R A N V J U D E A M O O H P Z N N B I N

baptize barn belt burn camel chaff coming crying desert fan father fire flee floor fruit

A T S N P R E P A R E J D R S B F A A E

I H D E S E R T D B U R N O G U I P H Y

S E X R E P E N T A N C E P T N R T A K

E R D R W S P L J C F K L H S Q E I N S

E W O W T P S R O O I L R E Y U B Z D T

C O W O R A L M E N R E O T W E J E R R

God hair hand heaven holy honey Isaiah John Jordan Judea kingdom leather lies locusts Lord

T R N A N A I O G A S D H O L N Q G E A

W E Y D I N T D C H C O A T R C O H G I

S I A I G S O H I U L H S N V H E C I G

W L N A N M T N L Y S P I O V A F H O H

S A U N V G G E L I I T I N V B T A N T

S P R V O Y T E U R E C S E G L R F K W

mightier paths preaching prepare prophet raise region repentance River root sandals sins Spirit spoken stones

P H A N U W A H I K E S N D L E E F B H

O F W T E T I T R I M I G H T I E R A E

K J L I H D A N W O R T H Y B U S L R A

E F W E L S O G G Y W K W A T E R P N T

N T R Y E D F R U I T N B P W C A M E L

straight threshing thrown trees unquenchable vipers voice waist warned water wheat wild winnowing worthy wrath

March 2013

Heavenly Humor

Question: What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

Answer: They really raised Cain.

Question: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

Answer: "Your mother ate us out of house and home" (Genesis 3:6).

Question: The ark was built in 3 stories. The top one had a window to let in light. How did the bottom two stories get light?

Answer: They used floodlights.

Question: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?

Answer: The thought had never entered his head before.

Question: Which Bible character had no parents?

Answer: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

Diseases in the Bible 1. Who healed the man with the withered hand?

Peter Paul Jesus Stephen 2. Jesus healed 10 men who suffered from this disease, but only one returned to thank Him. hives leprosy crippling arthritis cancer 3. Jesus asked the lawyers and Pharisees if it was lawful to heal on the Sabbath, before healing a man of what? dropsy paralysis blindness arthritis 4. What plague did God visit on the Egyptians when Moses scattered ashes toward heaven? asthma hives boils leprosy 5. Four men suffering from what disease went to surrender to the Syrian army but found their camp abandoned? crippling arthritis cancer leprosy none of the above 6. King Asa of Judah died due to a severe disease of what part of his body? his lungs his feet his heart his kidneys 7. Elisha healed Naaman, commander of the Syrian army, of what disease? blindness leprosy a hemorrhage arthritis 8. King Jehoram of Judah died when God struck him with a disease that _____________. paralyzed his lungs made him bleed to death made his heart weak made his intestines come out 9. Sick, blind and lame people waited at the Pool of Bethesda to be healed when what happened? an angel stirred up the water a priest walked by the sun was straight overhead the fountain turned on 10. A woman snuck through a crowd to touch Jesus, hoping she might be healed of what? allergies a flow of blood blindness constant pain

Bible Beat

Bible Trivia

1. What was Jesus teaching about when he said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”?

2. In the Lord’s Prayer, what follows the line, “Hallowed be thy name”?

3. What was Jonah found doing on the ship while the storm was raging?

4. Five of the Ten Virgins did not take enough of what?

5. What was the name of Joseph’s master in Egypt?

6. Aaron turned his rod into a serpent before Pharaoh, and Pharaoh’s magicians did likewise, but what happened to their serpents?

7. To which country did Mary and Joseph escape when Herod killed all the babies in Bethlehem?

8. What is the name of the angel who appeared to Mary?

9. Which land did the Lord promise to Abram?

10. What should we “seek first”?

ANSWERS:

Marriage (and divorce) Matt 19:6 Thy kingdom come (Matt 6:10) Sleeping (Jon 1:5) Oil (Matt 25:3) Potiphar (Gen 37:36) Aaron’s rod swallowed them (Exo 7:12) Egypt (Matt 2:13-14) Gabriel (Luke 1:26) Canaan (Gen 17:8) The Kingdom of God and his righteousness (Matt 6:33)

9 The Roane Reader

You can play this online @ http://www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/A2IBaptizeYouwithWater.html A2 I Baptize You with Water, Matthew 3:1-12

Today the priest baptizes with water, too. He says, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Whenever you wash your face and hands, remember that God has washed your sins away. By dying on the cross for you, Jesus has made you clean. All of your sins are forgiven. God has even forgiven the sins you think no one knows about. Rejoice and help others as a way to say, “Thank you, Lord for forgiving me.”

Across

1. one who tells God's wishes 4. out of control 7. snakes 8. a major Hebrew prophet 9. grasshoppers 11. barbers cut this 13. sorrow for actions 18. stronger 19. shoes with straps 20. actions that are against God's will 21. use water to wash away sins 23. move the air to cool 25. stream 28. not curvy 30. told about danger 31. part of plant below the ground 32. rocks 33. blessed Down 2. lift

3. get ready 4. anger 5. unable to put out 6. does not tell the truth 10. tall woody plants

12. man who baptized Jesus 13. area 14. ways to travel 15. beating the seeds out of wheat 16. home of God .

17. very dry land 22. tossed 23. dad 24. what apostles called Jesus 26. deserving honor 27. leave quickly 29. a helping ___

An Assisted Living Community 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 865-376-3030

10The Roane Reader

Household Hints

 Keep a piece of white paper in your sewing machine drawer. On dark days lay it under the pressure foot and the needle eye will be much easier to see. This really works, try it.  When quilting put needles in a cushion, scissors, thread, and measuring tape in a low box, such as a shoebox lid, on top of the quilt. If it slides around too much stick a pin through into the quilt.  Soak neglected paint brushes in hot vinegar to clean and make them pliable again.  If you have unburned candles on your mantle or dining room table that have gotten dirty or faded try this trick. Wet a piece of absorbent cotton with rubbing alcohol and wipe the candles gently.

They will look like new.  Heat your babies extra bottle and place it in an insulated bag before going to bed. When baby awakens the bottle will be ready and will save you from losing precious sleep.  To prevent leaking in a thermos bottle, dip the cork in sugar before placing in the bottle, it will stop the leaking.  Create a handy helper when cutting quilt blocks; cut a pattern from a piece of fine sandpaper. This will keep your material from sliding while you are cutting the pattern out.  When washing clothes that catch lint easily, I have found that turning them wrong side out and fastening each end with a clean rubber band keeps lint from getting on the right side.  If you find yourself out of window cleaner, rubbing alcohol makes a great substitute. Alcohol works great on bathroom mirrors too.  Place lace doilies in a lingerie bag before placing them in the washer. This way they get clean without chancing the delicate lace getting torn.  Put a piece of charcoal in the refrigerator to absorb the odor of onions, fish and other strong scented foods.  Place a piece or two of charcoal in the closet to absorb musty odors from winter coats and summer sneakers.  If mattress buttons are causing rust marks on your sheets coat them with clear nail polish.

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Penny Pinchers  Buy fruits and vegetables in season when they're cheaper and taste fresher. When compared to the price per pound of meat, cheese, chocolate, etc., they're a nutritional bargain.  If you're preparing a commercial meal kit e.g.: such as Hamburger Helper or a frozen pasta dinner, toss in a few more vegetables.

Chopped bell peppers or celery, and frozen broccoli or peas add color, flavor and nutrition to what is usually a lot of starch, sauce and salt. They can also stretch the meal into more servings.  Ready-prepped veggies cost more but may be worth it if you actually use those peeled carrots or sliced mushrooms. A huge percentage of fresh produce goes to waste sitting in refrigerators.  A pound bag of chopped iceberg lettuce salad costs more; about $2, than a head of iceberg lettuce. Approximately $1 per pound, that you clean and chop yourself. But if bagged salad greens keep you from buying restaurant salads, there's still a savings.  If lettuce prices are up, vary your veggies.

Consider cabbage, spinach, carrot or broccoli salads.  Grow your favorite herbs yearround in your kitchen window.

It's convenient to be able to cut a few sprigs as needed, and packets of fresh herbs can cost $1.50-$2 in grocery stores.  If you're not up to planting a garden, add a few strawberry or tomato plants to your flower beds. You have to weed and water them anyway. Or add a fruit tree to your back yard.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

C. S. Lewis

March 2013

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes HATTIE SHILLINGS

Quick Corned Beef Hash

3 Tbls butter, divided 1 cup sliced mushrooms 4 cups refrigerated diced 1 teaspoon salt potatoes 6 eggs 1 1/2 cups corned beef 1/2 teaspoon pepper 1 medium green pepper, diced Onion In a large skillet, melt 2 tablespoons butter; stir in the potatoes, beef, green pepper, mushrooms and salt. Cook, covered, over medium heat for 10-12 minutes or until vegetables are tender, stirring occasionally. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk eggs and pepper. In another skillet, heat remaining butter over medium heat. Add egg mixture; cook and stir until eggs are completely set. Stir into potato mixture. Yield: 6 servings.

Toasted Reubens

1/2 cup mayonnaise 3 tablespoons ketchup 2 Tbls sweet pickle relish 1 Tbls prepared horseradish 4 teaspoons prepared mustard 8 slices rye bread

1 lb. thinly sliced deli corned beef 4 slices Swiss cheese 1 can sauerkraut, rinsed and drained 2 tablespoons butter

In a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, ketchup, pickle relish and horseradish; set aside. Spread mustard on one side of four slices of bread, then layer with corned beef, cheese, sauerkraut and mayonnaise mixture; top with remaining bread. In a large skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Add sandwiches; cover and toast on both sides until bread is lightly browned and cheese is melted. Yield: 4 servings.

Smoked Salmon New Potatoes

36 small red potatoes 2 teaspoons dill weed 1 package cream cheese, cubed 2 teaspoons lemon juice 2 pkgs smoked salmon 1/8 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons chopped green 1/8 teaspoon pepper onion Fresh dill sprigs Place the potatoes in a large saucepan and cover with water. Bring to a boil. Cook, covered, for 15-20 minutes or until tender. Meanwhile, in a food processor, combine the cream cheese, salmon, onion, dill, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Cover and process until smooth; set aside.

• Drain potatoes and immediately place in ice water. Drain and pat dry with paper towels. Cut a thin slice off the bottom of each potato to allow it to sit flat. With a melon baller, scoop out a small amount of potato (discard or save for another use).

• Pipe or spoon salmon mixture into potatoes. Garnish with dill sprigs. Yield: 3 dozen.

NOTICE

Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences. The Roane Reader

March 2013

11 The Roane Reader

Go ahead and shoot-Wasp spray, that is!

Wasp Spray - A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you.

The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote.

She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection.

Thought this was interesting and might be of use. On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.

Put a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed. It’s inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, spray the culprit in the eyes.

If you're looking for protection, that's going to give you a chance to call the police, or maybe get out, and maybe even save a life.

Did you also know that wasp spray will kill a snake? And a mouse! It will! Good to know, huh? It will also kill a wasp.!!!!

Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head If raindrops on roses are among your favorite things, University of Washington researchers have encountered some monster drops that could change your mind.

On two occasions, separated by four years and thousands of miles and in very different conditions, raindrops were measured at sizes similar to or greater than the largest ever recorded. The largest ones were at least 8 millimeters in diameter, about the same as the largest previously observed, and were possibly a centimeter – about four-tenths of an inch or one-fourth the diameter of a golf ball – according to findings published in the online edition of Geophysical Research Letters, a journal of the American Geophysical Union.

As they fall toward earth, raindrops don't have the cliché teardrop shape, instead, they are shaped more like a parachute, or a jellyfish.

Most of the water is around the rim of the drop, while the upper part of the drop is a very thin film of water.

When air forces through the thin film at the top, large drops break up into many smaller drops. Large drops also can break up when they collide with other drops. In laboratory conditions, breakup usually happens when the drops reach about 5 millimeters, or about one-fifth of an inch, in diameter. In clouds, when drops reach that size they generally break up in collisions with other drops.

That's why it's so rare to see a raindrop of 5 millimeters or more on the ground, because it would mean the drop had avoided collisions with the many other drops in a cloud.

15 things the Emergency Room Staff Won’t Tell You 1. We do it because we care. We’re the only doctors who will take care of you first and ask questions about payment later, so we end up giving one third of our care for free-and lose about $100,000 of income a year. Yet we still do it. This is the best specialty in the world.”

2. Say "Thank You." In the ER, nurses provide most of the hands-on care. So be nice.

3. An ambulance isn't a fancy taxi. When we arrive, don’t expect us to say hello. We’re focused on the patient. Once he’s stable, then we’ll introduce ourselves.

4. Arriving by ambulance doesn't mean you'll get a red-carpet into the ER. You’ll get triaged like everyone else--if you’re not that sick or injured, you’re going to wait.

5. Yes, we know you're waiting...and waiting. Waiting is good. It means you’re not going to die. The person you need to feel sorry for is the one who gets rushed into the ER and treated first.

6. We need you to cooperate. When we say, "Put on this gown," we mean you should take off the clothes underneath so we can see the area that we need to examine. I once had a woman put the gown on over her clothes and her coat.

7. If we tell you to stay in bed, we mean it. 'If we tell you to stay in bed, we mean it. Some medications make you uncoordinated, and we hate it when people fall down.”

8. We don't believe you. One of our favorite lines is "You can’t fix stupidity." If you complain of nausea and then eat a bag of chips, that’s what we’re thinking.

9. We play favorites. It makes me crazy when visitors wander around talking on their cell phones.

You’re being annoying.

10. We can only do so much. Not all ERs are equally equipped to deal with children. Check with your pediatrician to see which ER he or she recommends.

11. We're pretty used to people trying to intimidate us. Standing in the doorway and staring at us while we work won’t help your loved one get treated more quickly.

12. Speak up, please. An ER in a rural area might not have a doctor who is certified in emergency medicine, and the likelihood of having specialists on staff is very low. If you wind up in one, ask to transfer to a hospital that has more resources.

13. We don't want you to have to come back. If you don’t understand what you’re supposed to do when you leave the ER, ask—and ask again if necessary.

14. The 411 on 911. It’s incredible how many people having a heart attack drive themselves to the emergency room instead of calling 911. That’s just dumb. What are you going to do if you’re driving and your heart stops?

15. Don't call from your cell phone. Calling from a landline can save your life because we can pinpoint your location instantly. If you call from a cell phone, we waste a lot of time asking where you are or searching for you.

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March 2013

12 The Roane Reader

Crossville Raceway 2013 Schedule

Wartburg Speedway 2013 Schedule

Schedule is tentative and subject to change March 23 - Open Practice 7pm - 10pm March 30 - Open Practice 7pm - 10pm

Schedule is tentative and subject to change

March 16th March 23th March 30th

Test and Tune - 6:00pm Test and Tune - 6:00pm Test and Tune - 6:00pm

Racing season - one month away! by: John Griffin

Racing season at Smoky Mountain Speedway is fast approaching.

The 2013 season kicks off on March 23rd, when the Southern All Stars invade town for a $5,000 to win race.

After this, Ray Cook’s new Spring Series comes to the track on April 13th, paying $6,000 to win. This race is sponsored by Food City.

This will be followed by the World of Outlaws Series which is scheduled for Friday night, April 26th, paying $10,000 to win.

A big crowd is expected on April 26th as NASCAR is off that weekend and a few drivers can be expected to be in attendance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our condolences go out to John Griffin for the death of his mother, Irene Human Griffin, on January 29th. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smoky Mountain Speedway WWW.SMOKYMOUNTAINSPEEDWAY.COM

WARTBURG SPEEDWAY

Sandra L. Stout

Spring City Raceway 2013 Schedule Schedule is tentative and subject to change

March 2nd, 2013 March 9th, 2013 March 16th, 2013 March 22nd, 2013 March 29th, 2013

Swap Meet & Practice #1 Swap Meet & Practice #2 Swap Meet & Practice #3 Regular Racing Program (Non Points) Regular Racing Program (Non Points)

NASCAR Sprint Cup Schedule Date 2/16/13

Day Sat

Race Site Daytona International Speedway-The Sprint Unlimited

TV FOX

Race Start ET 8:10 PM

2/17/13

Sun

Daytona International Speedway - Qualifying

FOX

1:05 PM

2/21/13

Thurs

Daytona International Speedway - Duels

SPEED

2:00 PM

2/24/13

Sun

Daytona International Speedway - Daytona 500

FOX

1:00 PM

3/3/13

Sun

Phoenix International Raceway

FOX

3:00 PM

3/10/13

Sun

Las Vegas Motor Speedway

FOX

3:00 PM

3/17/13

Sun

Bristol Motor Speedway

FOX

1:00 PM

3/24/13

Sun

Auto Club Speedway

FOX

3:00 PM

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿)

WWW.WARTBURGSPEEDWAY.NET

Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader

CROSSVILLE RACEWAY

ALL CORRECT ENTREES WILL BE ENTERED INTO A SECOND CHANCE DRAWING. We will announce the winners of the competition in the following month’s issue. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!!

Entrees that fail to provide all this information will not qualify!

WWW.CROSSVILLERACEWAY.NET

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Answer given:

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Sport Utilities Cars Trucks Equipment Carports Tractors Vans “Where Customers Send Their Friends”

Winner of February

No correct answers were given

March 2013

13 The Roane Reader

Original Hand Carved Wooden Owl

By Local Artist from Oakdale:

James Powers

$150

(865) 224-0431 Other Local Items & Memorabilia Available

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Wishing ...an end to Alzheimer's Beginning February 1, 2013 a tree will adorn the front lobby at Victorian Square Assisted Living. Special leaves will be provided for each special wish purchased for $1.00. In April, each wish will be read as part of the "First Annual Memorial Lights Celebration". The Memorial Lights Celebration will celebrate the lives of seniors that have greatly impacted our community.

Wish donations may be made for any reason that the person donating wishes.

All wishes will be honored as part of the ceremony Please join us as we raise awareness and funds for the fight against Alzheimer's

The Wishing Tree Poem Victorian Square Residents, family, staff

This is where our wishes unfold.

Each leaf opens and suddenly spring is here and the world is green again, new again.

This is where our wishes sing in chorus.

Like the melodies of birds filling the air, our song begins with one note, then another, until the air comes alive with music.

Victorian Square Reflections 2012

This is where our wishes take flight.

A few of them flutter their delicate wings when the wind blows these branches.

Then, together, they all rise.

This is where our every wish matters.

This is where children grow, sing, soar.

ALZTN 2012 Walk A Thon Donate a Wish for someone you love!

This is where hope takes root.

-Maggie Smith author

Baby, it’s COLD outside…

Come stay warm at Victorian Square As your thoughts turn to preparing for the cold months, you may be worried about ice or snow storms, the potential loss of electricity or simply staying comfortable during the cold months.

We want you to stay with us for a few short months while the cold weather is upon us.

Here is what we will provide while you stay at Victorian Square Assisted Living during the cold months:

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Three delicious meals a day Nutritious snacks Scheduled transportation Spacious private or shared suites Full activity program with social and recreational activities Emergency call system

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Weekly housekeeping and laundry Personal care assistance Beauty and barber shop D>@IN@? IPMN@ JI NO<ƌ RDOC ¤¦~CJPM OM<DI@? NO<ƌ Medication management

For more information about a short stay during the cold months, call us at (865) 354-1133.

You will see why so many others have decided to stay warm at Victorian Square Assisted Living.

A

Senior Living Community 865-354-1133

241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, TN www.victoriansquare.net

14 The Roane Reader

Mother, Interrupted: Stay At home mom

By: Debra Carpenter It’s hard for me to complain about being a stay-at-home mom, although that doesn’t always stop me.

What other fully-functioning adults get occasional naptime, daily craft time, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, and a slightly-more-than-healthy dose of My Little Pony? Not that I’m fullyfunctioning or anything. There are a lot of stresses that come along with being a stay-at-home mom, sure, but the perks are undeniable. I love being able to do it, and to be honest, I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom until my daughter has graduated from college and hasn’t come home to visit in so long, I just feel obligated to go back to work. Or at least until it’s time for her to start school.

What does being a stay at home mom entail? I’m so glad you asked. Most people assume I don’t do anything, and that I do it (or don’t do it?) all day, every day. This isn’t completely true. I only do nothing part-time, when I’m pretending to read a textbook for class (but I’m actually sleeping) and make my husband play My Little Pony with our daughter. I’m raising and tending to a tiny toddler tornado that calls me Mama and--bless her heart--just can’t seem to walk into a room without making a mess or spilling something. Is this normal? Can anyone relate? Am I the only mom who cleans and re-cleans the living room no less than 15 times a day?

Being a stay at home mom means the definition for pajamas changes. For you, at least. Everyone else still considers sweatpants and a tank top “pajamas,” but you call them “casual wear.” And there will be days when you have on “casual wear” until about 5 minutes before your husband comes home. Your child will also be clad in “casual wear.” It’s probable that your hair will look like crap a lot. Basically, for a stay at home mom, every level of clothing and appearance formality shifts up one notch. Pants that, at one time, were never worn out of the house become grocery store appropriate, and ponytails are suddenly up-dos. It’s like magic.

Staying home with your child means you will make a lot of food, so you better get good at it. This is important, because if you don’t, you and your child are doomed to eat frozen fish sticks and chicken nuggets every day for the rest of the foreseeable future. That, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which were the only thing I ate for lunch 2002-2003. Ask my mom. She should have had me psychologically evaluated, but whatever. Learn to cook, because your child is a living, breathing creature who can’t live off ramen noodles. I mean, they could, and they’d probably love it, but nutrition is still important.

So suit up, Betty Crocker!

Some stay at home moms think, “I stay home all day, take care of this child, cook, and keep the house from burning down in the process. I deserve a medal.” Yes, you deserve a medal, but the medal is called “your child becoming a well-adjusted, healthy individual” and you don’t win it until they are grown and out of the house. Translation: after you’ve taken care of the child for many, many years and broken your back to make life enjoyable and pleasant for the child, they just might turn out to be normal people without crippling mental issues. That’s uplifting—with tons of hard work and extremely rare breaks or moments to just sit down, our children actually have a chance at success! Let’s all just take a moment to watch our favorite kid’s show on Netflix and clean up the finger-painting mess later. We can’t stay home forever! Love, Mom www.motherinterrupted.com Help me reach 200 fans on Facebook @ facebook.com/MotherInterrupted Email at interruptedmom@gmail.com

March 2013

Report from the State Senate

By Sen. Ken Yager

Things are beginning to move in the General Assembly. The bill filing deadline passed on February 14 so we can now get a better picture of the business at hand. About 2,000 bills were filed, which is down from previous years. According to the Tennessee Constitution, each bill must be voted on three times before becoming law. On the second reading, each bill is sent to one of nine committees for consideration. Once out of Committee, the bill goes to the floor for a final vote. This process may take several weeks. The Speaker has asked committees to start shutting down in mid April which signals an early adjournment, probably in late April or early May. Therefore, it is important for a legislator to start moving his or her bill. I am sponsoring 54 and co-sponsoring 13 bills this session and will be one committee or another almost every day. (Note: you can check out my bills at www.capitol.tn.gov) In the Senate, two proposed amendments to the state constitution were approved. One declares the income and payroll tax unconstitutional, the other changes the way appellate judges are selected. These proposed changes must now be approved by the voters in the August, 2014, general election.

SB 142 (Guns in Trunks) passed the Senate on a vote of 28 to 5. The bill, sponsored by Speaker Ron Ramsey, allows Tennesseans with a valid handgun carry permit to transport and store a firearm or ammunition in the person’s privately-owned vehicle in public or private parking areas, not including the grounds or property of a single-family residence. The single family exception was designed to protect the property right of the homeowner and farmer.

The most important responsibility of the legislature is to pass a budget. In fact, adoption of a balanced budget is a constitutional requirement. My committee – State and Local Government -- hears thirteen budgets and makes recommendations to the Finance Ways and Means Committee. The largest is the budget our committee hears is the Department of Corrections. This budget is $929 million. Many of these funds find their way into the Morgan County Correctional Facility (MCCF) at Petros which houses 2,400 of the state’s most violent offenders. MCCF also provides many jobs in the region, particularly Roane, Morgan and Scott.

A huge issue coming up is the redistricting of the state’s 31 Judicial Districts, which have not been redistricted since 1984. Roane County is in the Ninth Judicial District. My Senate District includes three other judicial districts as well. The judicial district is important because we elect Judges for the Criminal and Circuit Courts, Chancellors, District Attorneys General and Public Defenders from these districts. Therefore a change in the districts could mean who our judge or DAG may be. You can expect considerable discussion on the issue in the months ahead.

You are invited to drop by the office in Nashville anytime.

Contact Senator Ken Yager 'LVWULFW 2఺FH

P.O. Box 346 Harriman, TN 37748 865-285-9797

1DVKYLOOH 2఺FH 6 Legislative Plaza Nashville, TN 37243 Phone: (615) 741-1449 Fax: (615) 253-0237

Fun & Facts for kids only

March 2013

Something to think about Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

'I am'. Is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the 'General Purpose' vehicle, G.P. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

In just one year, each and every American on average consumes enough wood and paper to construct a tree 100 feet tall and 16 inches in diameter.

Over three million Americans stutter. Stuttering is gender related and affects three to four times as many males as females.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

Alphabet Letters info Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' and 'd' do not appear if you spell any of the numbers between 1 and 99 [Funnily enough, letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred] In addition, letters 'a', 'b' and 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999 [Strange, but true, letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand] Neither letter 'b' nor 'c' appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999 [Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion]

Visit us Online @

Glenda Johnson Broker/Realtor, ABR, GRI, CTG, ITI

865-591-6900

Office: 865-376-2121 Ext. 102

Glenda6900@bellsouth.net

Jim Henry & Assoc.

410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston Kingston, TN 37763

Origin of the Teddy Bear In November 1902, President Theodore Roosevelt and some of his friends went on a hunting trip to Mississippi. After hours of searching, Roosevelt and his group had not come across any wild animals. Finally, the group did track down and surrounded a helpless bear. One of the guides asked the president to shoot the bear so he could win a hunting trophy. The president refused, and news reporters throughout the country spread the story of Roosevelt's kind act.

Not long after this took place, a famous cartoonist named Clifford Berryman drew a cartoon based on Roosevelt 's rescue of the bear. When a store owner in Brooklyn saw the cartoon, he decided to make toy bears to sell in his shop. He asked president Roosevelt for permission to use the name “"Teddy's Bear"” for his toys, as a reminder of the bear Roosevelt had set free. Nowadays, everyone knows these toys as Teddy Bears, but few people know that they were named after President Theodore “"Teddy"” Roosevelt.

November 14 has been designated American Teddy Bear Day.

March 1st Peanut Butter Lover's Day

We want to see your best ARTWORK!

Send us your drawings along with your name and age.

Send them to: 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748 or email to info@roanereader.com

15 The Roane Reader

Fascinating But Irrelevant Facts *Every person has a unique tongue print. *Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants. *In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die. *Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark. *In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers. *Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be mentally retarded. *In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles. *About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it. *You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day that in any other weather. *An average person laughs about 5 times a day. *Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas. *Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air. *The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night. *A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 mph. *A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee. *Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does. *Women's hearts beat faster than men's. *Pollsters say that 40% of dog and cat owners carry pictures of the pets in their wallets. *Bubble gum contains rubber. *You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog.

Mid-East Head Start and Roane County Schools are working together to provide you with a fun filled afternoon with you child.

March CHILD 12:00 15th FIND 7:00pm

ROANE COUNTY PARK

Child Find is a continuous process of public awareness activities, screening and evaluation designed to locate, identify, and refer as early as possible all young children with disabilities and their families who are in need of Early Intervention Program or Preschool Special Education services of the IDEA

GAMES, SNACKS, and FUN!

16 The Roane Reader

Why You Must Supplement!

March 2013

Declining interest rates have hit retirees' investment income hard; for many folks it's dropped 50-80% from just a few years ago. So why would anyone want to make a long-term investment that is not keeping up with inflation and likely won't catch up anytime soon? I certainly wouldn't, and I strongly urge all readers to find other places to put their hard-earned money.

Here is the bottom line: Before the 2008 crash, retirees could earn a decent yield on relatively safe investments. For many, this investment income was three to five times more than their Social Security checks, which allowed for a comfortable retirement low on financial stress. Now those same secure investments might bring in income equal to half of your Social Security check.

Let’s look at a case history: Joe and Mary wanted good health and enough money to not have to worry. Joe retired at age 62. For the first six years, it was a dream. Joe and Mary lived in a motor home for a year and traveled extensively, not a care in the world. Quite frankly, Joe and Mary were living it up! That changed overnight, when the banks called in their high-yield, secure CDs. Joe said, “Today we have enough money, but most of our capital is in riskier investments than FDIC-insured CDs”. Our CD’s were paying three times the rate of inflation?

It wasn't just the yield that made Joe & Mary comfortable; safety was also important. Joe feels that he can sleep much better than he did in 2008 when his mutual funds suffered huge losses. However, it is still a far cry from their carefree joyride when he first retired.

The Employee Benefit Research Institute (EBRI) does an annual survey on retirement confidence. Its 2012 survey reports: Americans' retirement confidence has plateaued at the lowest levels seen over the last two decades. The percentage of workers expecting to retire before age 65 has decreased from 50% in 1991 to 24% in 2012. Twenty-five percent of those currently working say the age at which they expected to retire changed in the last year. In 1991, 11% of workers said they expected to retire after age 65, and by 2012 that grew to 37%.

Baby boomers are now retiring at a rate of 10,000 per day and will continue to do so for the next 19 years. For decades, through economic ups and downs, they formed their retirement expectations. Now, in a few short years those expectations have been drastically altered.

Baby boomers on either side of the retirement cusp understand the problem, but they don't all know what to do about it.

Retirees have to change their thinking. We can dream about 6% CDs all day long, but the truth is, they no longer exist. How can Joe and Mary achieve their retirement dreams in the current environment? Their retirement goals have not changed. They still want enough money to not have to worry about it. How we go about getting there, however, has been changed dramatically. So let's focus on the task at hand.

First, we have little choice but to put a whole lot more of our nest egg at higher interest rates. We need to beat our current, high rate of inflation and earn enough to adequately supplement our Social Security checks. This means we have to diversify our investments and look into alternative investments and strategies. An uneducated or passive investor is setting himself and his family up for disaster.

Second – We may have to modify our lifestyles. We all have to live within our means. That's just good, old-fashioned common sense.

Third and finally, we need to redefine "don't have to worry about it" to fit today. Not worrying looks a lot different today. We must know and understand where our money is invested. Our situation, it's still a far cry from our carefree, passive attitude of yesteryear. That was a dream... and a whole lot of fun while it lasted.

Nevertheless, an educated, confident investor can still sleep very well. If you're up counting sheep and worrying about your portfolio, skip the Ambien. Instead, you need to have an income assessment done and see if you can exceed the rate of inflation with safety and security. Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates and President of RJA Health. He may be contacted at 865-376-4925 or email: robjames1@msn.com for a free Health & Wealth Assessment.

For your information

Homemade Remedies for whitening teeth

•The spring equinox brings the start of spring, around March 21. At the equinox, day and night are of about equal length.

•The summer solstice, which happens around June 21, has the longest daylight time. It's also the first day of summer.

•Fall begins at the fall equinox, around September 21. Day and night are of about equal length.

•The winter solstice, around December 21, has the shortest daylight time and officially kicks off winter.

We all want white sparkling teeth, just li most movie stars, but let face it; who has the money to buy those expensive systems advertised on TV? and worse yet; who can afford visiting the dentist for one of those laser session that con cost hundreds and hundreds on dollars? Home remedies for whitening teeth are a great alternative for fast, safe and inexpensive teeth whitening.

Home Remedies for whitening teeth #1: Make a paste by mixing 2 teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide 2 teaspoons of baking soda.

Place the mixture in a small bowl. The thickness of the paste should be consistent as the typical thickness of toothpaste. For a better taste, add a bit of mint or just a scoop of toothpaste can be combined with the home-made paste for whitening teeth.

Now, how is this home-made whitening teeth remedy re used?

Apply with a toothbrush and leave the mixture on your teeth for at a couple of minutes. You should avoid swallowing the paste. If this happens, just drink lots of water. Use only once or twice a week.

“Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.”

- George Bernard Shaw

March 2013

The Roane Reader proudly presents

17 The Roane Reader

THE WRITER'S PAGE To Be A Real Leprechaun

The Wind

The Circus

Written by Red Skelton for his Father

by: Bernard J. Howe To be a real leprechaun, and have a pot of gold.

To be able to enjoy the music, and not be left out in the cold.

Their life of enjoyment, can be seen in their face.

To be a living leprechaun, is something I can embrace.

Their little deeds of mischief, and the matching of their wit.

And a toast of Irish whiskey, to make this seem legit.

I'd love to be a leprechaun, So life can be a treasure.

I know that I would love this, beyond any kind of measure.

Dancing in the moonlight, and hiding in the flowers.

The weeks are so carefree, that days seem like hours.

From a thousand shades of green, that's called the emerald isle.

I know the life of merriment, is really quite worthwhile.

To be a living leprechaun, is something of what I dream.

For if I really was one, I would be held in high esteem.

The circus! The magical city That appears and disappears with the bat of an eye.

A cathedral for children and adults Made of canvas and trimmed with red wagons.

A sunburst of wheel, pink lemonade and cotton candy.

A temple housing the unity of man and beast...

All performing for the good of their fellow man With shouts of glory.

The performers’ only reward is the echo of the applause And laughter of children.

It cradles them to sleep.

As the red wagons roll from city to city.

The clown hides his sorrows behind a mask -Sometimes grotesque, sometimes sad, but always with a whimsy that is an encouragement That makes any deformity of life seem minute.

A lesson in humanity, where man and beast risk life and limb for the meager reward of applause.

How sad it would be if my youth would pass away And not see the beauty of the big red wagons, And taste the rare vintage of pink lemonade!

Or become so blasé’ that I couldn’t offer a silent prayer For the man on the flying trapeze, Or sigh as I watch him swing to and fro.

I see my own life in motion like the pendulum On the huge clock that ticks away life.

Oh, keep me young without prejudices.

Without haste, so that I will be young.

So that my heart will be filled with glee Next year, when the big red wagons roll in again!

To me, a great clown said that—my Dad. Red Skelton

by: Robert Louis Stevenson I saw you toss the kites on high And blow the birds about the sky; And all around I heard you pass, Like ladies' skirts across the grass Oh wind, a blowing all day long, Oh wind, that sings so loud a song!

I saw the different things you did, But always you yourself you hid.

I felt you push, I heard you call, I could not see yourself at all Oh wind, a blowing all day long!

Oh wind, that sings so loud a song!

O you that are so strong and cold, O blower, are you young or old?

Are you a beast of field and tree, Or just a stronger child than me?

O wind, a blowing all day long, O wind, that sings so loud a song!

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

Dictionary For Women Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Words of Wisdom by: Elsie Wyrick

Dear Friends: Are you drifting away from God? Is it because you are experiencing situations you seemingly have no control over; are you in physical pain, and you just don’t know what to do?

Good news! I have the ultimate solution; God says in His Holy Word that we are to trust in Him for He can and will be our anchor, and to put all the loads of our life upon Him, for He loves us so much!

Just remember that old cross at Calvary, all that was for all of us!

He tells us that we will draw near to Him, He will draw nighe to us!

What a problem solver and a promise He keeps!

IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR WRITINGS ON THIS PAGE EMAIL US: INFO@ROANEREADER.COM

S.L. BOWMAN & SONS, INC. MAYO SEEDS CLEANING UP? WE HAVE DUMPSTER GARDEN SUPPLIES RENTALS AVAILABLE & EQUIPMENT WE HAVE

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18 The Roane Reader

Interstates - Truths & Myths

March 2013

President Eisenhower conceived the Interstate System.

The Interstate System was authorized for designation by the Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1944, with the initial designations in 1947 and completed in 1955 under the 40,000-mile limitation imposed by the 1944 Act. President Eisenhower didn’t conceive the Interstate System, but his support led to enactment of the Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1956, which established the program for funding and building it.

One in five miles of the Interstate is straight so airplanes can land in emergencies.

This myth is widespread, but has no basis in law, regulation, design manual—or fact.

Airplanes occasionally land on Interstates when no alternative is available in an emergency, not because the Interstates are designed for that purpose.

Defense was the primary reason for the Interstate System.

The primary justifications for the Interstate System were civilian in nature. In the midst of the Cold War, the Department of Defense supported the Interstate System and Congress added the words “and Defense” to its official name in 1956 (“National System of Interstate and Defense Highways”). However, the program was so popular for its civilian benefits that the legislation would have passed even if defense had not been a factor.

Transit Association asked Congress to do was exempt buses from the gas tax.

Congress did so.

Interstates are intended to serve only traffic going from State to State.

The Interstate System serves interstate, regional, and intra-State traffic, and was President Eisenhower supported the Interstate System because he wanted a way always expected to do so. In fact, many routes, including beltways and spurs, are located entirely in one State and serve primarily intra-State traffic. of evacuating cities if the United States was attacked by an atomic bomb.

President Eisenhower’s support was based largely on civilian needs—support for Congress should have put the money into transit instead of the Interstate System. economic development, improved highway safety, and congestion relief, as well as This was not an option in 1955/1956 when the congressional debate took place. At the reduction of motor vehicle-related lawsuits. He understood the military value of the time, transit was provided mainly by private companies. No one in the industry, in Interstate System, as well as its use in evacuations, but they were only part of the State and local governments, or in Congress imagined that the Federal Government reason for his support. would support these companies financially. In fact, the only thing the American

Interstate numbers must be consistent with the numbering plan.

The numbering plan is helpful in choosing numbers for routes. But in an irregularly shaped country, consistency is not possible. The numbers are consistent for the most part, but irregularities have occurred such as addition of a route where a consistent number is not available or withdrawal of a route without concurrent renumbering of The Interstate System was launched by the Interstate Defense Highway Act of routes linked to it. These inconsistencies have no effect on motorists who navigate based on maps, new GPS technology, personal knowledge or directions, not the 1956.

No such legislation passed in 1956 or any other year. Nevertheless, this title appears numbering plan. widely throughout the media instead of the correct title: the Federal-Aid Highway Act The only built object astronauts can see from space is the Interstate System. of 1956.

From an altitude of about 155 miles, under the best of conditions, the unaided eye of an astronaut can see many built objects on Earth if he or she knows where to look. The Beltways are designed to carry Interstate traffic around cities.

Beltways do help traffic avoid cities, but also are intended to serve metropolitan traffic Interstate System is not visible as a network, but astronauts using binoculars can see roads, cities, dams, airports, and other objects. moving from main highway to main highway.

Scott McCluen

ATTORNEY AT LAW

To Schedule an Appointment Call/Text Message: 388-0017 Email: smccluen@comcast.net

No Charge for Initial Consultation

March 2013

Royal Thai - Ban U-Tapao 631st Combat Support Group 635th Civil Engineering Squadron APO San Francisco 96330 10 July 1966 - 30 April 1967

PETE SEMANICK I was sure glad to see this new feature added as I previously had a very bad experience while eating dinner at “good quality” restaurant in Pattya, a nearby seaside resort village. Our Base Commander had put out the word that our medical personnel recommended this particular restaurant “as safe” after a full-scale inspection of the facility. My Civil Engineering Commander, Major Lawson Seyfried, invited me to accompany him to the restaurant for a free meal at his expense. I gladly accepted his offer as I had not been off base since arriving.

He picked me up in his jeep and off we went. It was only a few miles up the road and once we arrived in Pattya we saw the big sign. It was a nice building and inside was even better. Clean, well lit and a courteous staff welcomed us. We decided to order something safe and we even brought our own water for drinking as a further safety measure. We both chose well-done broiled steak with boiled potatoes and boiled green beans-safe enough, we thought. It was a very enjoyable meal. We returned back to base and went to our separate quarters.

Early in the morning hours (02:30 A.M.) I awoke with severe stomach pains. It was necessary to get to the community latrine as soon as possible. Somewhere between my hooch and the latrine I passed out and woke up on my hands and knees. I then began crawling up the steps. Some how I managed to get to the commode and started the emptying process of my intestines and my stomach from both ends. I have never been so sick in my life. Once I was empty of everything I staggered back to my hootch and with my head swimming around and around, I finally fell asleep. One of my troops woke me up in the morning and I was still sick. Needless to say I went to the dispensary for a checkup. Once there I discovered I was not the only patient. It so happened that Major Seyfried was also there with the same symptoms. We were both diagnosed with the well-known and dreaded “Bangkok Belly”. After that, my visits off base were restricted to sightseeing and shopping, and my troops and I made good use of that barbecue grill.

While at Tachikawa, I purchased a real nice Akai reel-to-reel tape recorder. One of my sergeants had a friend, Buck Jones, in Wilson, North Carolina who was a disk jockey with the town’s country and western radio station. The disk jockey sent several tapes he recorded during his live shows. Our first tape was dedicated to the firemen at U-Tapao and mentioned some of our names. Each evening I would set up the tape recorder with country western music blasting out the open fire truck stalls. Another one of my firemen added a public address system and soon personnel from all over the base would walk down to the fire station and listen to the music. On weekends, we would have our mess hall friends provide us with steaks so we could have old-fashioned cookouts. The fire station was the center of attraction from then on.

Tips that may get you out of a ticket

19 The Roane Reader

Women have an easy way to walk away with a warning: waterworks. But for guys, it’s not that easy. And if you’re hit with a DUI, that’s your own fault—here are some tips for simple parking tickets or those situations where you and the officer have a difference of opinion on the color of that stoplight.

Parking Tickets - Lots of people won’t fight parking tickets because they think they can’t fight city hall.

But whether you deserved the ticket or not, there are ways you can get out of paying it.

Check the Accuracy - There are specific things that have to be on every parking ticket, and if these items are left off of the ticket (or are written down inaccurately)—it has to be dismissed. So what should you look for? make of the vehicle, the license plate number, address where the infraction happened, an accurate date and time, as well as the signature of the officer. No joke, 20-25 percent of the time, tickets are inaccurate—so people have to check.

Right Or Wrong—Fight the Ticket Even if you’re wrong, fight the ticket anyways, says Feder. Write in and appeal your ticket, they want to keep people out of traffic court—so even if they don’t dismiss the entire thing, they’ll most likely reduce the fees. But when you’re writing in, don’t ramble and be rude. At this point, it’s arbitrary. Be relevant and to the point. And if you can include a statement from an eye witness, that will improve your chances for getting off the hook tenfold.

Speeding Tickets - Fess Up. The best way to avoid a ticket is to be honest and take responsibility. “Cops deal with people from all walks of life, from every strata of society, every single day,” says Pomper.

“They’re not easily fooled or manipulated. If you’re simply saying what you think the cop wants to hear, he or she will probably detect it. That’s why, as they say, honesty is the best policy.” Drivers lie to cops or try to make excuses so often, it’s a relief to hear honesty and see a driver taking responsibility, says Pomper.

Bite Your Tongue - Rather than getting angry that you’ve been busted, kill ‘em with kindness. If you’re polite, and take responsibility for what you did, the officer might give you a break and cite you for a lesser violation, says Pomper. Whatever you do, don’t say, “whatever,” or “I’m gonna have your badge,” and for God’s sake don’t tell the officer, “I’m calling my lawyer,” says Pomper. Cops deal with lawyers all the time—they’re not intimidated by them.

Be Prepared - If you’re looking to impress the officer, being well prepared is a good way to do it. Have the documents readily available, which cops do like, keep it in a visor holder. In this case, the driver is reaching up to where the officer can see what he or she is doing. Another great tip is to keep your hands on the steering wheel, cops prefer to see the ten and two positions. And once the office is up by the window, moving hands to the lap is fine. Lastly, if it’s dark out, the officer will appreciate it if the driver turns on the dome light. It takes some of the mystery out of the stop.

The Drunk Driver

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no - he only lives a mile away.

About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for weaving all over the road, ask him to get out of the car and take the breathalyser test. Just as he’s about to blow into the bag, the radio informs the policemen of a robbery taking place in a house a short distance away.

The police tell the party goer to remain where he is, they will be right back; and they run down the street to the robbery.

The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has 'flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there--his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with flu and has been there all day. However, the police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car, she refuses.

They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find the police car, lights still flashing.

March 29th, 1886 Coca-Cola was Invented

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Through an attackers eyes

20 The Roane Reader

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts: 1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braidor other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER: 1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or

March 2013

make general small talk: can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter.

Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up,you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class said she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists say is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

Top Ten Reasons men prefer guns over women (Stolen from David Letterman) #10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. #9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road. #8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. #7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup .#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo. #5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space

#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month. #3 - A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?" #2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women..... #1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun!

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March 2013

Margarine or Butter?

Coupon spots are $10, If you are interested in participating in this great cause or know someone who would like to sponsor a spot on the page please contact The Roane Reader 501 Evergreen St Harriman, Tn 37748 Phone: 865-882-9340 email: info@roanereader.com

DO YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?

Read on to the end...gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories. Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared to 5 grams for margarine.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods. Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavours of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years .

And now, for Margarine.. Very High in Trans fatty acids. Triples risk of coronary heart disease ... Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol) Increases the risk of cancers up to five times. Lowers quality of breast milk. Decreases immune response. Decreases insulin response.

And here's the most disturbing fact... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING! Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC... and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT. Open a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things: no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something) it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic . Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

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6. Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

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9. Well-behaved women rarely make history.

10. I can resist everything except temptation.

21 The Roane Reader

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22 The Roane Reader

More Old Wife’s Tales

Sewing and Fashion If you cut out a new dress on Friday, you must finish it that same day.

Don't make new clothes between Christmas and New Year's Day. Don't walk around in one shoe.

If you see a will-o'-wisp while out walking at night, turn your coat inside-out.

Never wear another's new clothes before they have worn them.

A woman who makes her own wedding dress will not live to wear it.

Cooking and Table Manners Never set three lamps on a table at the same time.

Never serve 13 at a table.

Avoid drinking coffee at 5 o'clock.

You mustn't write on the back of a dish.

Never return borrowed salt.

Don't ever cross knives while setting the table.

Don't put two forks at one place setting.

Never, never turn a loaf of bread upside down.

Sleeping Sleeping with your head at the foot of the bed is surely fatal.

Don't sing in bed.

If you hear a dog howl at night, reach under the bed and turn over a shoe.

Don't count stars.

A man should never dream of a naked woman; a woman should never dream of a naked man. (You know who you are...)

Personal Hygiene Never rub soap on your skin on a Friday.

Don't look into a mirror over another's shoulder.

Avoid combing your hair after dark.

Absolutely no haircuts in March.

Let a baby's hair and fingernails grow until their 1st birthday.

Don't let two people comb your hair at once.

Never shave at night.

NEVER, EVER share a razor used by a dead man.

Funeral Etiquette Never hold a funeral on a Friday.

When a person dies in a house, you must immediately cover all mirrors and stop all clocks.

To make an appointment, contact your child’s doctor or health department. For transportation or other information, call the Family Assistance Service Center at: 1-866-311-4287 En Espanol: 1-866-311-4290 The The TENNderCare TENNderCare program program wants wants children, children, teens, teens, and and young young adults adults under under 21 21 to to be be healthy. healthy. TENNderCare TENNderCare is is aa full full program program of of checkups checkups and and health health care care services services for for children children who who have have TennCare.

TennCare. These These services services make make sure sure babies, babies, children, children, teens teens and and young young adults adults receive receive the the health health care care they they need. need. Good Good health health begins begins at at birth, birth, so so it’s it’s important important to to Check Check In, In, Check Check Up Up and and Check Check Back Back with with your your doctor. doctor.

Rockwood Memories

March 2013

By: Ray Collet

Have you ever thought about how many nicknames the people in Rockwood had? I think everyone had a nickname. The other night, instead of counting sheep, I started counting them. Let's see how many you remember.

I am going to start with my next door neighbor growing up, "Dody" Monday, he had a brother Charles "Head" Monday. And when you think about that, up pops "Flat Head" Reed, "Simmon Head" Ivey, "Egghead" Treadway, and a couple of "Jugheads", Larry Eaton and Bobby Hembree.

And to go along with these heads, how about some hair. We had "Mollyhair" Knight, "Gag Hair" Nelson, and "Curley" Johnson, "Fuzzy" Lawson, and "Slick" McNelly. How about this one, "Pruneface" Pierce.

Animal names were certainly a favorite too. Let's see how many come to mind. There was "Monk" Stamey, "Monk" Thompson, "Monkey" Green, "Coon" Doughty,"Momma Bear" Plemons, "Squirrel" Allen, "Frog" Reed, "Sowbelly" Walker, "Hoss" Foust, "Chicken" Hinds, "Chick" East, "Rabbit" Gibson, "Sardine" Payne, "Bulldog" Gardner, "DogEars" Rose, "Dog Eye" Teasley, "Rattler" Boles, and "Duck" Wicks.

Sometimes, most of the kids in a family had a nickname, such as "Mop","Red", and "Cotten" Mitchell. Most of us at Clymersville had one, among them were "Sonny" Collett, "Speck" Warner, "Toe" Warner, "Reno" Warner, "Slim" Copley, "Tunk" Tankersley, "Buck", "Greedy", and "Stuff" Collett, "Brother" Carmichael, "PeeWee" Gunter, "Stalk" Stout, "Flick" Cates, "Dude" and "Dooley" Warner, "Paddles" and " Runt" Wilkey, "Sub" Boles, and the Cofer's, "Jake", "Oodler", "Goo" and "Speedy". Tom Reed was known as "Leaper" and his brother was "Little Man".

There were others found in Rockwood also, among them were "Bones" Heidel, "Coalfield" Taylor, "Red" Norton, "Peabody" Ledford, "Crip" Carroll," Pud" Monger, "Shorty" Mee, "Little Bit" Mitchell, "Pancho" Bannorra, "Trick Knee" Hall, "PinBall" Ridenour, "Notchy" Barnard, "Dink" Billings, "Bunk" Evans, "Butch" Evans, "Dink" Carter, and "Butch" Greene.

Seems as if one name leads to another one. More are coming to mind. How about these, "Smokey" Kirk, "Babe" Mills, "Cedar" Mee, "Dude" Bane, "Hot Dog" Long, "Hump Ezell, "Whistler" Golliher, "Big Bill" Beard, "FootLog" Kirby, "Shot" Collett and "Shot"Vincent.

I just thought of a few more, "Putt" Smith, "Dub" Roberts, "Heavy" Powell, "BlueBoy" Wicks. And who could forget "JazzBaby" Carney. Others coming to mind are "SteamBoat" Fritts, " StreetCar" Smith, "Buddy" Hickey, "Copper" Bacon, "Rusty" Jiles, "Mac" and "Bo" McCulley, "Sleepy" Reed and "Sleepy" Fugate, "Hap" Collett, "Doc" Edwards, "Kotchie" Brown, "PeeWee" Anderson, Jim "Speedy Spurling, and "Cotton" Huff.

Let's not leave out the ladies. There was "Bunny" Hinds, "Micki" Hickey, "BoBo" McCulley, "Mop" Mitchell, "Toy" Warner, "Cubby" Teague, June "Kitten" Holland, Velma " Coda" Littleton, Betty "Goose" Goss, "Floss" Coleman, "Tootsie" Kerley, "Lulu" Carter, "Mickey" Hayes, and "Mickey" Martin.

Just when I thought I had thought of them all, more started to come to mind. Here they are. " PeeWee" Anderson, "Corky" Burdette, "Punk" Miller, "Red" and "Cork" Collett, "Wimp" Winters, "Stumpy" Rogers, "Nubbingberry" Owens, "Bug and Jeep" Wright, Sanny "Leeper" Bowman, "Tub" Billings, "LuLu" Butler, "Moe" Greene and " Moe" Riddle, "Sonny" Holland, "Canker" Lawrence, "Chippy" Luttrell, Jimmy "Crack" McNelly, "Booger" Jones and "Booger" Bane, David "Cess" Poole, "Zeke" Davis and "Zeke" Cooper It is funny how all of these nicknames came about. Neither of my sons, grandchildren or any of their friends had them, except maybe just using their initials. We had our share of that in Rockwood too. Nicknames do have a way of sticking with you I guess as many people call me "Sonny" as they do Ray. Funny thing about it though is when the phone rings, I don't know how to answer it, Ray or "Sonny". If it is a telemarketer, I tell them I am Wayne Pugh and send me a dozen of what they are selling. Just kidding Wayne, those guys have to make a living too Well friends, all of this sheep counting, I mean nickname counting has me nodding off at the computer so I guess that will wind it up for this week. Keep the emails coming in. I know that I missed a couple of hundred nicknames, so let me know who all I missed.

Until next month, Ray........or "Sonny" RHS CLASSMATES...Don't forget our ANNUAL RHS REUNION which will be coming up at the Baptist Church Lake Property (same place as always. The dates are from June 2nd thru June 8th. with a catered meal on Sat. June 8th. Music and a dance under the pavillion will be on Friday June 7th with the TAYLOR-REED band. Activities will planned for the entire week and invitations will be mailed out in a few weeks. Please make plans to attend.....Thanks, Ray

March 2013

Ancient building codes The Code of Hammurabi

Hammurabi was the ruler who chiefly established the greatness of Babylon, the world's first metropolis. Many relics of Hammurabi's reign ([1795-1750 BC]) have been preserved, and today we can study this remarkable King....as a wise law-giver in his celebrated code. . .

By far the most remarkable of the Hammurabi records is his code of laws, the earliest-known example of a ruler proclaiming publicly to his people an entire body of laws so that all men might read and know what was required of them. The code was carved upon a black stone monument, eight feet high, and clearly intended to be reared in public view. This noted stone was found in the year 1901, not in Babylon, but in a city of the Persian mountains, to which some later conqueror must have carried it in triumph. Some of the building codes are listed below.

229 If a builder build a house for someone, and does not construct it properly, and the house which he built fall in and kill its owner, then that builder shall be put to death.

230. If it kill the son of the owner the son of that builder shall be put to death.

231. If it kill a slave of the owner, then he shall pay slave for slave to the owner of the house.

232. If it ruin goods, he shall make compensation for all that has been ruined, and inasmuch as he did not construct properly this house which he built and it fell, he shall re-erect the house from his own means.

233. If a builder build a house for someone, even though he has not yet completed it; if then the walls seem toppling, the builder must make the walls solid from his own means.

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Amazing Language Facts

23 The Roane Reader

•There are more than 2,700 languages in the world. In addition, there are more than 7,000 dialects. A dialect is a regional variety of a language that has a different pronunciation, vocabulary, or meaning.

•The most difficult language to learn is Basque, which is spoken in northwestern Spain and southwestern France. It is not related to any other language in the world. It has an extremely complicated word structure and vocabulary.

•All pilots on international flights identify themselves in English.

•Somalia is the only African country in which the entire population speaks the same language, Somali.

•The language in which a government conducts business is the official language of that country.

•More than 1,000 different languages are spoken on the continent of Africa.

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