1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748
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RoaneReader FREE
Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!
Established 1993
July 2016
Distributed
VOLUME 23
NUMBER 9
7,500
Little River - A Serial ............... 28 By Rachel Holbrook
Precious Memories ................. 2 By Kay Christopher
Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips
Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts
Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers
Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes
Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings
Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes
According to the Almanac ......... 5 When to do what
Never Loose Money .................. 14 By Bob Tonachio
Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly
Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults
Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses
Can You Find MeÂż ................... 22
FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER pg.31 and @
www.roanereader.com/findone Pick one up before they are all gone!
By The Phantom
Pets Page ................................... 23 Tips for your pets
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Phone: 865-882-9340
SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY
By O.I. Seenya • A gentleman, walking down a grocery aisle with a huge hole in the back of his pants, and him walking with his arms behind his back trying unsuccessfully to hide it. • Someone at the drive-thru at McDonald’s, ordering the 2 for $10 Whopper Special. • A Dunkin Doughnuts coming to Midtown. • Several people complaining about the red-light not changing on the Tabernacle Church side in Harriman at the intersection of Webster Rd/Pike and Hwy 27.
Happy Birthday
Alene Morris
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Heaven’s Reward
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” The first man replied, “Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife.” The Lord replied, “Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation. To the second man the Lord asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” The second man replied, “Lord, I cheated on my wife twice.” The Lord replied, “I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW. To the third man the Lord asked, “So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?” The third man replied, “Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times.” The Lord replied, “I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation. A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. “Why are you crying?” the two men asked. “You got the mansion and limo!” The first man replied, “I’m crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!”
July 5th
If everyone is thinking alike then somebody isn't thinking.
9:00am to 4:30pm Mon - Fri There are many events that occur during the year that can affect your tax situation. Preparation of your tax return involves summarizing transactions and events that occurred during the prior year. In most situations, treatment is firmly established at the time the transaction occurs. However, negative tax effects can be avoided by proper planning. Please contact us, COCHRANS TAX in advance if you have questions about the tax effects of a transaction or event, including the following: • Pension or IRA distributions
• Sale or purchase of a residence or other real estate
• Significant change in income or deductions • Retirement • Job change
• Notice from IRS or other revenue department
• Marriage
• Divorce or separation
• Attainment of age 59-1/2 or 70-1/2
• Self-employment
• Sale or purchase of a business
• Charitable contributions of property in excess of $5K
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July 2016
Precious Memories By: Kay Christopher
The Dreaded Garden
I don’t ever remember having a garden in Emory Gap, maybe I was to young to work in one, but we had one every year when we moved to Old Coalfield Road. Each year, daddy would change what he planted. One year it would be strawberries, the other potatoes, then tomatoes, then bell peppers. He would make us kids work in the garden, too. We had to weed, hoe, pick and help can all the vegetables he didn’t sell, either by peddling them or taking them to the grocery stores to sell to the grocer. It would be 100 degrees, and we still had to work in the garden. I hated it. Every summer I swore to myself that I would never had a garden when I got married. And I haven’t. We may plant a few tomato plants, but nothing that took a lot of work. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone who knows me knows that I love food, and especially tomatoes and potatoes. The potatoes were covered with powder and stored in the basement. They'd keep just about all winter, but the rats liked them, also. Our basement had a concrete floor, but wasn’t very varmint proof. Mama made us girls help can the tomatoes. We also had to clean the dozens of canning jars that had been out in boxes in the old shed all winter, ugh!)..But, there’s nothing better macaroni and tomatoes made with home canned tomatoes. Farming was so hard. But the fruit of the vine was so worth it. What I’d give for a can of mama’s home canned tomatoes right now. Funny how the little memories seem to always be the best ones.
Just the Facts, Mam
Mummy powder was once thought to be a cure for all remedies. English men used to carry the powder with them in a tiny bag wherever they went By recycling just one glass bottle, the amount of energy that is being saved is enough to light a 100 watt bulb for four hours Slinkys were invented by an airplane mechanic; he was playing with engine parts and realized the possible secondary use of one of the springs The most popular brand of raisins is Sunmaid Estuarine crocodiles are the biggest of all 26 species of the crocodilian family Alaska got its name from the Aluet word "Alyeska" which means "The Great Land." The Mall of America, located in Bloomington, Minnesota is so big that it can hold 24,336 school buses Every second, 630 steel cans are recycled The word witch comes from the word "wicca" which translates to the "wise one."
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz
Happy Birthday
Miss Jo Farr July 19th
The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.
July 2016
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6321625(' %Y RUSSELL JOHNSON DISTRICT ATTORNEY GENERAL
CRIMINAL COURT JUDGE JEFF WICKS
ATTORNEY GREG LEFFEW
CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE MIKE PEMBERTON
GENERAL SESSIONS JUDGE TERRY STEVENS
STATE SENATOR KEN YAGER
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7853,1¶6 AUT2 5(3$,5 +$55,0$N, TN 63216256 :,// %( 3529,',N* ,1)250A7,21 21 HOW THE COURT SYSTEM WORKS, STATE GOVERNMENT, ENERGY EFFICIENCY, DIABETES, ESTATE PLANNING & WILLS, FUNERAL PLANNING AND MUCH MORE!
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Entertainment
email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
Interesting Facts About SNL According to the official memoir, Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live, Chevy Chase is banned from ever hosting the show again. In the book, numerous cast members recall stories in which Chase insulted cast and crew. According to Terry Sweeney, Chase made homophobic remarks to Sweeney who is openly gay. According to Will Ferrell, Chase was the worst host during his time on the show. – Source When 25-year-old Kenan Thompson (born 1978) was hired for the 29th season (2003-2004), he became the first cast member who was born after the show premiered (1975). – Source When Eddie Murphy was first hired, he was not a regular cast member; he was a guest performer who was given nothing to do. He threatened to quit until he was given a segment of Weekend Update to perform. He was so funny, he eventually appeared in sketches and became a regular cast member. When Eddie Murphy was on SNL in the early 80s, other cast members often had to go downstairs after shows to catch a cab for him because no cab drivers would stop for a young black man late at night. – Steve Martin is the only person to host a season premiere, a season finale, and a Christmas show and is the only person to host the show three times in a single season. In 1995, Steve Carell auditioned for the show along with his wife, Nancy Carell. She was cast but he was not. The following season Carell was cast as the voice of Gary in the recurring animated segment “The Ambiguously Gay Duo”. When he hosted the show in 2005, Carell stated he was beat out for the spot by Will Ferrell. There have been three sets of brothers who have been cast members on Saturday Night Live (1975), John Belushi and James Belushi, Dan Aykroyd and Peter Aykroyd, Bill Murray and Brian Doyle-Murray. Chris Farley was fired from SNL for making late-night prank phone calls from the SNL offices with Adam Sandler, and mooning people from a limo shortly after. – Source While writing for SNL, Larry David quit mid-season, only to come back a few days later as if nothing happened, inspiring the plot for a Seinfeld episode. – Source The reason Bill Hader often breaks character and cracks up while playing Stefon on SNL is that writer John Mulaney changes the cue cards beforehand to catch Hader off guard. – Source Johnny Knoxville turned down a role on SNL in favor of Jackass. – Source Steve Martin was rehearsing to guest host the season finale of SNL when he learned of Gilda Radner’s death. Fighting back tears, he scrapped his planned monologue, and chose instead to open the show with a video of he and Radner dancing a parody of Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse. – Source In 1982, on SNL, Eddie Murphy held Larry, a live lobster, aloft and declared that the shows audience would determine whether he lived or died and that this is where Larry the Lobster from Spongebob got his name. – Source Will Ferrell became the highest paid cast member in SNL history in 2001. He received a salary of USD 350,000 (USD 105,000 in 1975 prices) for the 2001-2002 Season. Don Pardo has announced his retirement twice, in 2004 and in 2009. But both times, he was convinced to return. He would fly to New York every week from his home in Arizona. In 2010, Pardo was allowed to record his intros from his home and have them sent to New York. Pardo remained with the show until shortly before his death on August 18, 2014 at the age of 96. The show has only had four directors in its history: Dave Wilson, Paul Miller, Beth McCarthy-Miller and Don Roy King. Despite the shows core theme of live comedy, on a few rare occasions stand-up segments weren’t truly “live”, but broadcast on a 7-second tape-delay: December 13th, 1975 (Richard Pryor), November 15th, 1986 (Sam Kinison), and May 12th, 1990 (Andrew Dice Clay), each time to allow censoring any “accidental” expletives. Candice Bergen was the first female host, the first person to host the show for a second time, and the first woman to host five times. Drew Barrymore has also hosted five times, her first being in 1982. While most of the musical performances on the show are indeed live, a few have been lip-synced, and several have been taped in advance. The first lip-sync was ABBA on November 15th, 1975. The first prerecorded performance was Carly Simon on May 8th, 1976, because she was nervous to sing in front of a live audience. On the October 23rd, 2004 episode, Ashlee Simpson revealed that she was lip-syncing during her second performance when the same vocal track for her first performance was accidentally replayed. An embarrassed Simpson walked off the stage and the show quickly cut to commercial.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than do the men who mention it.
Matthew Libby
Licensed Insurance Agent mlibby@healthmarkets.com HealthMarkets Insurance Agency Life | Health | Medicare | Long-Term Care
(865) 414-8257 Conveniently Located @ 806 Gallaher Road. Only 1 mile off I-40, Exit 356 *source: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-much-would-a-heart-attack-cost-you/ HealthMarkets Insurance Agency is the d/b/a, or assumed name, of Insphere Insurance Solutions, Inc. which is licensed as an insurance agency in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. Not all agents are licensed to sell all products. Service and product availability varies by state. HMIA002891
July 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
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according to the almanac July 2016
Temperature 80 (1 below avg.) Precipitation 5.5" (1 above avg.) Jul 1-4: t-storms; Jul 5-16: Scattered t-storms; hot, then cool; Jul 17-25: Daily t-storms, cool; Jul 26-31: T-storm, then sunny, warm.
(865) 285-9246
2645 Harriman Hwy, Harriman, Tn
Best Days To....
Wean animals or children........................23,27,31 Start projects..............................................................5 Slaughter Livestock.........................................13,14 Set posts or pour concrete............................18,19 Quit smoking...............................................23,27,31 Prune to encourage growth..................6,7,16,17 Prune to discourage growth..................24,25,26 Potty train children....................................23,27,31 Plant below ground crops...............................3,22 Plant above ground crops ........................5,13,14 Have Dental care...................................................8,9 Harvest below ground crops........................27,28 Harvest above ground crops.............................8,9 Destroy pests and weeds.........................24,25,26 Cut Hay...........................................................24,25,26 Cut hair to encourage growth...............10,11,12 Cut hair to discourage growth.........22,23,27,28 Castrate animals...............................................20,21 Can, pickle, or make sauerkraut...............3,22,23 Breed animals....................................................13,14 Begin diet to lose weight.........................23,27,31 Begin diet to gain weight................................9,14
Loaded 48,000 Miles
2013 Jetta Sportwagon
4x4
3.8 Coupe Leather Loaded, FAST
2010 Hyundai Genesis
Loaded Crewcab
2008 Nissan Titan LE
Loaded 19,000 Miles
2009 Hyundai Elantra
Loaded 47,000 Miles
2014 Mazda 2
Low Miles Leather, Sunroof
2007 Cadillac CTS
4x4
77,000 Miles
2008 F-250 Supercab XLT
14,000 Miles Loaded, Warranty
2015 Mirage ES
Low Miles 3rd Row Seat
2007 Pacifica Touring
Rear Entertainment
Quad-Seats
2007 Uplander LT
Leather Pony Pack
2009 Mustang Convertible
Navigation Leather, Sunroof
2008 Escape Limited
July Birthstone The Ruby
The July birthstone, ruby, was regarded by ancient Hindus as the “king of gems.” It was believed to protect its wearer from evil. Today, the ruby’s deep-red color signifies love and passion.
Leather, Sunroof
2009 Impala LT
2005 Equinox LT AWD
Diesel Low Miles
2004 F-250 XLT Crew Cab
Integrity Auto Sales welcomes Marty Willis to the team! Pictured from left are Allen Russell, Marty Willis, and Andy Russell. Integrity Auto Sales offers a variety of quality cars, trucks, and SUVs, with extended warranties available, finance options, and a free Carfax report!
Loaded 105,000 Miles
2000 Silverado V-8
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Michelin Tires 148,000 Miles
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“I love St. Jude’’s Hospital. Please help support them”.
Happy Birthday
Jeff Collett July 14th
(Kayden Christopher)
email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
Tribute
Submit your Memorials, Dedications or just lift up those you love - FREE
Happy Birthday in Heaven Happy birthday up in Heaven from your family here below, We love you and we miss you And want to let you know. Your birthdays aren't forgotten, And your memory yet lives on. We celebrate your life with us, Even though you're gone.
Summer Clearance Sale J U L Y
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30% off bats & gloves basketball shoes $20 - $40
select football cleats 50-70% off
And while here for your birthday You would be so hugged and kissed, That you would know before you go How much you're loved and missed.
In memory of my sister Gladys Jo Barnes on her birthday on July 10 Marjorie Edwards
Happy Birthday
soffe shorts Adult $5 Youth $3
1/2 price softball & baseball cleats
Were God to grant us just one wish, Then make that wish come true, You'd be right here beside us And we'd spend this day with you.
$10 cheerleading shoes blank &
apparel 1/2 price
CHECK OUT OUR NEW SCHOOL FANWEAR! NEW STYLES ARRIVING DAILY!
(Daddy) John T. Stout July 8th
Your family is so blessed to have such a caring, loving selfless God fearing father! Hope to be half the man you are! YOUR SONS!
Happy 5th Anniversary
JJ & Tabby Stout July 2nd
NEW FOOTBALL GEAR ARRIVING DAILY!
430 N Roane St Harriman 37748
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July 2016
Obituaries
May 21st June 8th “Cowboy” Johnson, 75, Rockwood Naomi Shoemaker, 75, Rockwood Wendy A. Marlow, 44, Harriman June 10th May 26th Ah'niyah Nevaa Mullins, infant Thurman E. Coffey, 89, Harriman Lester Paul Rice, 83, Harriman May 27th June 11th (Thom) Clarence Tapp, 65, Kingston Margaret Jo Henry, 89, Harriman June 12th Mary Seiber, 96, Harriman Charles Chambers, 65, Harriman Roger Alfred Jones, 83, Coalfield Carl Whiteacre, 83, Kingston Eddie D. Kilby, 50, Rockwood Michael Allen Fritts, 59, Rockwood “Donnie” Miller, 67, Rockwood June 13th Rollis Von Price, Sr., 72, Rockwood Myrtle Brown, 93, Oliver Spgs “Sandy” Kay Webb, 61, Rockwood June 14th Donald Ray Franklin, 74, Kingston Milton Patterson, 91, Harriman May 28th Renee Luffman, 43, Ten Mile (Pete) Scarbrough, 82, Harriman (Tammy) D. Martin, 56, Harriman Carolyn Wyatt, 81, Kingston June 16th Leslie E. Majors, Jr., 67, Rockwood Donald Parten, 81, Oliver Spgs May 29th June 17th Earl (Tom) Ruffner, 79, Coalfield Mable Ethell Clouse, 73, Rockwood Christine Turnington, 71, Rockwood Ola “Granny” Willis, 81, Rockwood Elizabeth Johnson, 87, Rockwood June 18th Sarah “Flo” Bowman, 85, Rockwood Christine S. Salamon, 74, Ten Mile Mary Lois Brashears, 88, Kingston May 30th David R. Jones, 64, Oliver Spgs Bryan Brummitt, 42, Kingston Emma Hurst, 62, Oliver Spgs Lloyd Donald Wright, 55, Kingston June 19th Katherine Burnette, 60, Kingston Shirley Egbert Klein, 86, Rockwood May 31st June 20th James (Jimmy) Henry, Jr., Kingston Wayne L. Bryant, 75, Kingston Betty Sue Buyrd, 70, Kingston Sandra J. Mahaffey, 55, Rockwood Juanita Edmonds, 90, Kingston June 23rd June 2nd Ed Bilbrey, Jr. 94, Harriman Etta West Lively, 89, Oliver Spgs Thelma Hickey Euva Mae Morgan Roddy, Kingston June 24th Jason Lee Robinette, 41, Kingston James Ferrante, 70, Harriman June 3rd Edith Browning, 102, Oliver Spgs Rosie Viola Cook, 95, Oakdale June 25th June 4th Mark Andrew Seymour Sue Qualls Muecke, 88, Kingston June 26th June 5th Jo Ann Hickey, 7, Kingston G. Oneeta Andrews, 93, Harriman Betty Diane Buxton, 42, Harriman Michael McCarthy, Sr., 75, Kingston June 27th Mary Ruth Browning, 86, Kingston (Pat) Henry, 70, Kingston Felix Henry, 93, Harriman Ama Gene Doss, Oliver Spgs “Donnie” Green, 65, Rockwood
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Church Signs "No God-No Peace. Know God-Know Peace." "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins." "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!" An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets." When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too." A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed." "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are." "God so loved the world that He did not send a committee." "When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright." "Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday." "Fight truth decay-study the Bible daily." "How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?" "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives" "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world." "Our arms are the only ones God has to hug His children." "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin." "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church." "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns." "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again." "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon." "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---> (U R) Happy Birthday "Forbidden fruit creates many jams." "In the dark? Follow the Son." "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up." July 6th "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
Journey Bolter
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July 2016
Bible Beat
Bible Quest
You can play this online @ Which is the longest book in the Bible? www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/B28FatherSonandHolySpirit.html Which is the shortest chapter in the Bible? Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Matthew 28:16-20 Which is the longest chapter in the Bible? Jesus has the power of heaven and earth. He will be with you until the end of the age. Until the end of the Which is the shortest verse in the Bible? world, he will be with you. Ask the Father in the name of Jesus and it will be given to you. Jesus loves you Which is the longest verse in the Bible? very much. He wants to help you. If you are having trouble with your homework, ask Jesus to help you. If Which chapter of which book has been calculated as being at the you are having trouble with bullies, ask Jesus to help you. If you are having trouble saying, “No,� to evil middle of the Bible? ways, ask Jesus to help you. You will be amazed at how much easier things are when you ask Jesus to help Which is the first book in the Bible? you. Which is the last book in the Bible? Across 2. followers Which is the first book in the New Testament? 5. eternal living place Which is the last book in the Old Testament?
Bible Quest Answers Psalms (150 Chapters) Psalm 117 (2 verses) Psalm 119 (176 verses) John 11 v 35 (Jesus wept)
Esther 8 v 9 (78 words) Psalm 118 Genesis Revelation
Matthew Malachi
Visiting for the Lord On a sunny Sunday afternoon, two young church members were going door to door to invite people to visit their services. When they knocked on one door, it was immediately clear the woman who answered was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message, and before they could say anything more, she slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close; in fact, it bounced back open. She tried again, really putting her back into it, and slammed it again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in her door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson. Just then, one of them said quietly: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you really need to move your cat."
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7. title 10. got near 12. and for this reason 14. among 16. leave 17. see 19. witnessed 22. years since birth 23. high land 27. every single one 28. those people 31. ten plus one 32. told 33. where Jesus taught 34. instructed Down 1. first person in the Holy Trinity 2. did not believe 3. control 4. second person of Holy Trinity 6. countries 8. stop
9. third planet 10. forever 11. blessed 13. that guy 14. adored 15. those people
16. handed over 18. blessing with water 19. power source of life 20. ordered 21. look at 23. create
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Lesson in Lying
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
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1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748
July 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
You can play this online @ www.joanyedwards.com/wordsearch/B28FatherSonandHolySpirit.html
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Matthew 28:16-20 Priests baptize people in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit make up the Holy Trinity. Saint Patrick showed how three persons could be in one God using the Shamrock. All three of them work together to get you to heaven. They will give you strength to stay on the pathway to God. E E M A N T R L N T R H A N M D D S D J Q E W A L W E N G K U O L I R O X Z D G D K E U D O W E E E H L W A E U M S Y F M A N G Y R O V D A U Y A T N B M Q X A M M T I K S P A E Z Q J Y N G T C Z W T G H O S Y H C E H Q M Q S U X E K Q C H I L R N N I M H C K E V K O O D D M F E V S D O E P K W A W E E Y M V R I N S R E F E I H P G C O M M A N D E D Q G H X N K R T W E O N R X X B V S R V M C E R I J E A Q D T C P O F M B E H O L D S B R X D N J E J Z P B F D T T S P I R I T M C I G H A G E A M G X S J E S U S P G L W E V R E S B O Z H F Z N F J G B K I O A S E L P I C S I D N I R N E V E L E S L M Z H S I W E H H H T R A E L P C R P Z G N I H C A E T Q U G A L I L E E L U W A D J P F S W Q A T H H E N D L X U L I T N U G B A P T I Z I N G R H P F L A F M O F Y C N O S V T H E Y U H O F B spirit make eleven age teaching mountain end always they name father approached until nations Galilee baptizing went observe given behold when ordered go commanded worshipped power heaven disciples saw holy doubted son Jesus earth
VBS KICKOFF & CAR SHOW (CRUISE-IN) Saturday July 16th
RIVERSIDE BAPTIST CHURCH 629 Clinch St., Harriman
10am-2pm - Free Admission - Everyone Welcome
First 100 vehicles registered will receive a dash plaque. Free food and games for kids. For questions, please call (865)978-0375 or (865)717-0102
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Bible Beat Wired up
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
Happy Birthday Brianna Edmonds
email: info@roanereader.com
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Bible Trivia
In what year was the Authorized Version of the Bible first produced? Which English monarch was responsible for the Authorized Version of the Bible? What are the first three words of the book of Genesis? Which other book begins with the same three words? In what language was most of the Old Testament originally written? In what language was most of the New Testament written? What was Abraham and Sarah's son's name? How many soldiers were with Peter in his cell How many angels were given trumpets when the seventh seal, in Revelation, was opened in heaven? Which servant girl answered the door to Peter and left without opening the door?
July 1st
Fly in My Soup
Atheist: What's this fly doing in my soup? Waiter: Praying. Atheist: Very funny. I can't eat this. Take it back. Waiter: You see? The fly's prayers were answered.
Trivia Answers 1611 King James In the beginning Gospel of John Hebrew
Greek Isaac Two (2) Seven (7) Rhoda
Would Like to Wish Everyone A Happy Independence Day! & Thank our Veterans for Their Service.
NOW ACCEPTING APPLICANTS 55 YEARS OLD AND OLDER OR DISABLED Retirement living for individuals 55 years and older or disabled with all the benefits of affordability and no yard work or maintenance hassles. We offer large 1 bedroom homes with 2 walk in and 1 hallway closet. We provide water/sewer, trash, services coordination, safety monitoring, chapel, activities, and lobby coffee bar at no extra charge. Rent is based on your income and utility allowance is given. Small pets welcome with pet deposit. Retire at our quality affordable community.
Enjoy life to the fullest at Rockwood Village! 601 S. Chamberlain AYH 5RFNZRRG 71 Ć 3KRQH (865) 354-3945 (across from the Rockwood Sports Complex/ball field) TDD/TTY 7-1-1
10 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
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email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
July 2016
OES Hyper-Reach Community Sign-Up Campaign The Roane County Office of Emergency Services is excited to announce our new community emergency notification program. This will help us contact individual community members personally in the case of a community emergency (i.e. severe weather, active shooter, etc.). We are requesting that everyone visit the Hyper-Reach website and input your preferred means of communication, including email and text alerts. The purpose of this sign-up page is that 911 data only includes landline numbers. Cell phones, emails and ‘special needs technology’, like TDD for the hearing impaired, are not included in the regular Accu-Reach data unless the individual involved signs up for messages from these other-than-landline sources. There is an easy sign-up form specific for every user. It’s simple and only takes a minute. The link for community sign up is as follows: http://www.Hyper-Reach.com/tnroanesignup.html *You can also find the link on the Roane County website: roanecountytn.gov under OES.
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Rockwood Police offering free class on surviving a shooter event Another active shooter event occurred recently in Orlando. There was 49 killed and over 53 injured. Everyone looks as this being a problem which occurs some place other than here. Let's hope we are all right on that fact, but, it never hurts to be prepared. YOU CAN SURVIVE SUCH AN INCIDENT but you have to be prepared. How would you react if caught in an environment where such an event was happening. We have officers certified by the Department of Justice to teach you how to survive such an event. The course is free to any organization or group regardless of size. If you would like to have the class contact us at 865-354-3388.
WE DO BRAKES!
FULL BRAKE SERVICE
TIRES AT COST!
For more information contact: Traci Cofer, OES Program Manager at 865-717-4116
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Everyone likes
The Roane Reader! So why is your business not advertising with us? Let over 7,500 people see your ad and what you have to offer them. Call Justin at 865-882-9340. We can create and display your ad for the lowest advertising rate around.
Call us today!
Bill McFarland Agent
119 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood, TN
(865) 354-9453 bill.mcfarland.b10o@statefarm.com
Full service oil change Transmission flushes Air filters
Wiper blades Serpentine belts Senior discount
NO REASON TO GO ANYWHERE ELSE!
KEEP IT LOCAL
WE CAN HANDLE ALL YOUR TIRE AND BRAKE NEEDS
306 Kentucky St. Kingston, TN (Beside Sonic)
M-F 8:30 to 5:30 Sat. 8:30 to 4:00
(865) 717- 8288
Owned and operated by Howard Clower
Phone: 865-882-9340
12 The Roane Reader
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email: info@roanereader.com
Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.
Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Here’s some side dishes to make your Cookout a hit.
Household Hints
To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling. Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers. To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing. Or microwave lemons for one minute to get maximum juice out of them.
July 2016
HATTIE SHILLINGS
Southern Baked Beans
1 large onion, diced 4 tablespoons ketchup 2 (16-ounce) cans pork and beans 1 tablespoon lemon juice 3 tablespoons prepared yellow mustard 1/2 pound bacon strips, cut into 1/2-inch 1/4 cup maple syrup pieces 1/4 cup light brown sugar In a Dutch oven, mix onion, pork and beans, mustard, maple syrup, light brown sugar, ketchup, and lemon juice. Top with the bacon pieces. Bake, covered, for 45 to 60 minutes.
Best Ever Potato Salad
To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop.
8 large potatoes 1/2 cup sweet pickle relish 1 onion, chopped 3 eggs (hard boiled) 1 cup mayonnaise Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring Dice potatoes into bite-size pieces and boil until done. Place in strainer and run cold water over them in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. until room temperature. Add chopped onion, mayonnaise, relish and 3 chopped boiled eggs. Stir until When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of blended. Larry’s Unforgettable Slaw the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. 1 bag cabbage and carrot slaw mix 1 cup sugar 1 cup mayonnaise 1 Tbsp. lemon juice Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield Mix all ingredients in a large bowl. Alter the recipe to your taste. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour before a beautiful glossy finish. serving. Stir occasionally to mix. Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.
3 Ways to Cook Corn on the Cob When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out 1. Boil It Up the corn's natural sweetness. Boiling is the classic way to prepare sweet corn. You can either use a wide, flat pan and lay the corn on To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, its side, or use a taller stockpot to boil a big batch at once. Either way, fill the pan with enough water to salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw cover the corn and bring it to a boil. it away. Shuck off the outer husk and silk from the corn. Dissolve a tablespoon of salt in the water and add the corn. If your corn is very fresh, cook it for three to five minutes. For corn that’s a few days old, go for Spray a bit of perfume on the lightbulb in any room to create a lovely six to eight minutes. light scent in each room when the light is turned on. 2. Microwave It We like this microwave method if we’re just cooking a few ears of corn for dinner and don’t want to trouble with boiling a big pot of water. Leave the corn in their husks and microwave them two at a time on HIGH for four to six minutes, depending on the age of your corn. Let them cool enough to handle and then strip off the husks and silk. (As a bonus, we think shucking is easier after microwaving!) 3. Grill 'Em! Home Cooked Meals Roasting on the grill gives the corn a smoky flavor we absolutely love. Peel back the husks, but leave them attached at the stem. Remove all the silk and then brush the corn with olive oil (butter can sometimes burn). Cover the corn back up with the husks and secure them closed with a piece of string or aluminum foil. Roast the ears of corn over a medium-hot grill, turning occasionally, until the outer husks are charred and toasted. This usually takes about 15 minutes. Let the corn cool enough to handle, then strip off the husks and eat.
Breakfast
Lunch
l Dai y L
$
5.79
ecials
Call in Orders Open 5:00 a.m. h c S p un to 2:00 p.m. 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, TN (865) 376.3060
NOTICE
Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences.
The Roane Reader
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Service and Repair Specialist
BATHROOM REMODELING FOR ALL YOUR PLUMBING NEEDS!
(865) 354-8518
July 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
$ave $$$ on your coffee flavorings
Plain Coffee Creamer 3/4 cup sweetened condensed milk (or Half and Half) Cut with regular milk, skim milk or evaporated milk and mix well. Homemade French Vanilla Coffee Cream 1 can low fat sweetened condensed milk (or regular) 1 ½ cups nonfat milk 1 tablespoon vanilla Mix in a blender. Chocolate Mint Coffee Creamer 3/4 cup non-dairy creamer 1/2 cup Dutch process cocoa 3/4 cup powdered sugar 1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract Put all ingredients in container and shake well. Pumpkin Spice Creamer 1 cup fat free half & half (skim milk works better because the pumpkin will thicken it up significantly) 1/2 cup pumpkin Truvia or sugar to taste (1-2 tbsp) 1 tbsp vanilla 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice 1/2 tsp cinnamon Heat the half & half, pumpkin and sugar (or Truvia) until it bubbles. Whisk together and add the vanilla and spices. Cappuccino Creamer 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk 1 1/2 cups skim milk 1 teaspoon almond extract 1/2 teaspoon orange extract Mix and keep in airtight container. Chocolate Raspberry Creamer 14 oz. sweetened condensed milk 14 oz. milk 2 teaspoons cocoa powder 2 tablespoons raspberry syrup Mocha Coffee Creamer 1 cup cocoa powder 1/2 cup nonfat dry milk 1 cup powdered sugar 1 cup non-dairy coffee creamer 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg 1 teaspoon orange extract In a jar with a screw-top lid, combine all ingredients and shake well to blend. Salted Chocolate Coffee Creamer 1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder 1 Tbsp agave nectar or honey 1 tsp water 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 cup half and half or cream 1/2 cup milk (any kind) Directions: 1.In a small pot over low-medium heat, stir together the cocoa powder, agave nectar, water, and salt until the cocoa is dissolved into the water and agave. 2.Once the mixture is smooth, pour in the cream and milk, and heat over low until the mixture is warm and bubbles are beginning to form around the edge of the pan. 3.Remove from heat and pour into an air-tight container. Cool and store in the refrigerator.
Happy Independence Day!
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HOW TO RID ODORS FROM HANDS & BREATH
Penny Pinchers
If you handle garlic or onions to remove the odors wash hands with soap and water. Then take some cheesecloth and fill it with coffee beans and tie it with a rubber band. Rub this bag of coffee beans over your hands. This will last for 6 months and then you should discard it and make a new one. For garlic or onion breath you can chew on a coffee bean. Or eat some fresh parsley sprigs. Wash hands with baking soda to remove odors, or rub hands with a freshly sliced lemon half. Squirt some of the lemon juice on the hands and rub it in, then wash hands as you normally would to remove odors. Wash odors off hands by holding any piece of stainless steel in your hands at same time as you wash hands underneath running water. Works every time!
1. Remove red wine stains. Saturate the stain with table salt ASAP and let it sit for a couple of hours, then wash in cold water. Another trick is to pour some white wine on the stain and wash accordingly. 2. Remove coffee stains. Scrub the stain with baking soda paste. To make baking soda paste, just mix baking soda and water. 3. Remove grease/oil stains. Blot the stain with dishwashing detergent. If the stain has soaked in, mix one part vinegar with two parts water to make an all-natural cleaner. Apply to the stain and wash. By the way, did you know vinegar can replace 30 household products? 4. Remove ink stains. Spray the stain with hairspray or rubbing alcohol and blot. Repeat until most of the stain is gone, wash. 5. Remove lipstick stains. Treat lipstick stains the same way as ink stains (spray-blot-repeat), but follow up by scrubbing with dishwashing soap. FYI, your top of the line lipstick will be more difficult to remove because of the greater depth of pigments. 6. Remove blood stains. First, make sure your stained item doesn’t bleach out. Then, pour some regular, drugstore hydrogen peroxide and let it soak before washing it in cold water. 7. Remove body odor. Spray the problem area (usually the armpits) with a 50/50 dilution of alcohol and water, and then hang it up to line dry. You want to kill the bacteria without damaging the garment. 8. Remove moth ball odor. Try dry-hanging your clothes out in the sun first. If the moth ball smell doesn’t dissipate, seal your clothes in a plastic bag with some dryer sheets or dry lavender, a natural moth repellent. So the next time you put your clothes into storage, use dry lavender instead of moth balls. These methods are safe to use on 100 percent cotton or cotton/synthetic blends, but not all of them are applicable to all fabrics. For more comprehensive tips, check out Cornell's stain removal guide and 16 ways to make your clothes last longer. 9. Clean mud off carpet. Let the mud dry completely, then remove as much as possible with a knife. Mix one quart of water with one-quarter teaspoon of hand or dish soap. (Make sure the soap doesn’t contain bleach of lanolin.) Pour the solution into a spray bottle: spray, rub, blot. 10. Remove rust stains off carpet. Mix vinegar and water in a spray bottle, spray the solution onto the stain, and let it sit for a few minutes. Clean the area with a brush or sponge using warm, soapy water. For really tough stains, spray on a good amount of lemon juice (but don’t wet the padding underneath), let it sit for five to six minutes, and blot with a paper towel.
Homemade Insect Repellent Mix 2 drops of oil of peppermint or lavender with 2 teaspoons of almond or sweet oil and dab on the skin.
Pest-Free Picnic Table
Add 5 drops of lavender essential oil to 32 ounces of water. Pour into a spray bottle and wipe down the table and chairs.
Happy Birthday
Sheila Lemons July 4th
J. Neal Jewelry NOW IN-STOCK Jewelry & Clock Repairs Masonic Rings | Hoop Earrings WHILE YOU WAIT! Affordable Wedding Sets
Come seeallusyour for all your jewelry Come see us for jewelry repairs repairs! while you wait!
(865) 234-7100 or (865) 250-2710 416 N. Roane St. Harriman
14 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
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email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
The Black Smart Box…Earn 5.3% in Dividend Income
Today, you could get to own this situation in a very rare and unique way… The company I’m going to let you in on today will likely be a pillar in your portfolio for a very long time. Now, you may say: “I’ve heard of this company before.” And I’m sure you have!. You see, this exciting company is a unique hybrid. It offers both the rock-solid stability of a proven conservative Bob Tonachio blue chip, and the upside profit potential of a new high tech issue. Because it’s so unusual to find this combination, most people won’t remember it. Unfortunately, not one in 10,000 investors or their advisors…have the vision and foresight to comprehend what is going to happen in a big way. But for those who recognize the opportunity and take positive action, the rewards could be life-changing… Mind Blowing! This is a very sophisticated opportunity that has already captured the attention of one of the most successful technology investors in history. One legendary billionaire has taken a massive $100 million stake in this low priced, undervalued stock. In his poorer days… he was a Harvard mathematics professor, a genius who served as code breaker for the NSA… But as a technology investor, he is without equal. He’s used stock positions in Google, Facebook, Apple and Microsoft to amass a $15 billion personal fortune. And now, he’s moved into a new stock and plans to make this new acquisition the highlight of his illustrious career. What does our money maker like most about this undervalued company? It’s hard to say for sure. But you can bet he loves the little surprise I’m going to share with you right now. It’s a tremendous benefit that I only mention in my seminar presentations. Something that enhances the value of this company in a major way. In spite of costing barely a few bucks, this company is so financially stable, and so efficiently run, and so flush with cash that it is able to pay shareholders a huge 5.26% dividend. That’s right: You and the Prof. are going to get paid to own this company. Let me repeat: You get paid – a 5.26% dividend – just for owning some of the shares of this company. A company that controls patented technology set to transform the world. In the coming weeks, months and years, we could see its share price double, triple, quadruple or more. And while you enjoy the ride, you’ll also be collecting that 5.26% dividend. This exciting company holds the patented technology to actually change the world. I’m taking about a society-shifting quantum leap of epic proportions, one that will transform everything from entertainment, transportation, medicine, homeland security and national defense, border patrol, emergency rescue, and even poverty and world hunger. Imagine a surgeon in New York performing lifesaving brain surgery on a patient 3,000 miles away…Or imagine being able to push a button on your dashboard and have your car drive itself directly to the closest open parking space. Imagine wearing a watch that monitors your vital signs and alerts your doctor the moment there’s trouble… Imagine the 1,000-mile U.S.-Mexican border patrolled 24/7 by wireless robots armed with sensors, video cameras and armed stun guns, all monitored remotely by agents ready to take the controls if trouble appears. Or imagine sitting down to dinner and next to you is a three-dimensional, holographic image of your wife – visiting in real time from your home more than 3,000 miles away… Marvels like these and hundreds more are set to leave the drawing board and head into the real world. By 2020 – less than four years from now – life is going to look a whole lot different than it does today. • In January, Barron’s called this opportunity a “phenomenon.” • The Yale Economic Review calls it “staggering.” • The Wall Street Journal reports that roughly $2 trillion in wealth will be created by this opportunity. • McKinsey & Company, the world-renowned consulting firm based in New York City, estimates as much as $11 trillion will be up for grabs by 2025 • John Chambers, founder and CEO of Cisco – the $50 billion networking company – puts the number at $14.4 trillion. • Forbes magazine estimates $20 trillion. • And Susan Eustis, a graduate of Barnard College at Columbia University, and president of Wintergreen Research, predicts this opportunity could be worth more than $37 trillion. In truth, no one can tell you exactly how much wealth is about to be unleashed. But here’s what I can tell you… Dr. Janusz Bryzek, the man known as the “Father of Sensors” and founder of eight Silicon Valley companies, was spot on when he publically called this opportunity “the largest growth in the history of humans.” And at the center of it all sits a $6 company that holds critical patents needed to make it all happen.
This Low Priced Stock Won’t Stay low for Long
As you read these words, this company is spreading around the key enabling technology that will power all this growth. Which means it is perfectly positioned to capture an oversized piece of that multi-trillion-dollar pie. Remember, this is no Silicon Valley micro-cap. It’s merely priced like one. This dividend-paying name-brand company has the R&D resources, the financial heft, the leadership and the global infrastructure to make the “Internet of Everything (IoE)” a $37 trillion reality. And it specializes in the leading-edge technology the IoE world cannot live without. It already controls more than 50,000 patents supporting the technology making this all possible. That gives this company the innovation capability, the portfolio and the global scale to shape and deploy the technologies that are at the heart of the new connected world. And those tens of thousands of patents essentially form a moat around its operations, making it extraordinarily difficult for competitors to gain a toehold into the markets this company serves. So… This low priced stock won’t stay low for long. For one thing, its 2016 sales could exceed $27 billion – the start of an epic run that could mint multi- millionaires… Maybe you might chose to be one of them? We will be discussing this special situation at our educational seminars… Seating is very limited…
Kim Ezell
Call 1-865-376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700 to reserve your seats Be our guest for dinner Tuesday July, 19th at 5:00pm in Harriman, TN or lunch Thursday July, 21st at 12:00 Noon in Fairfield Glade, TN
July 2016
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Happy Birthday
Jackie Christopher July 1st
Earn 5.3% in Dividend Income and 10x Your Money… “The Smart Black Box?” If you’re looking for a life-changing income and growth opportunity, you’ve come to…
The right place…at….The right time! Right now, we are standing on the edge of something extremely amazing… An entirely new realm where more than 1 trillion “Smart Black Boxes” – will all be communicating at furious speeds – Making incredible acts previously impossible…. Now possible! Miraculously, this new world will unlock a projected $37 trillion in new wealth. While along the way, they will create a countless number of new millionaires and billionaires… At our educational seminar, you will learn how to participate in this opportunity in a very unique way. You see, how this reborn, 100 year old company is now a unique crossbreed. It offers both the rock solid stability of a proven blue chip, and the upside profit potential of a dynamic new, high tech, start up. This exciting company holds the patented technology to truly change the world...50,000 patents. I’m taking about a society-shifting quantum leap of epic proportions, one that will transform everything from entertainment, transportation, medicine, homeland security and national defense, border patrol, emergency rescue, and even poverty and world hunger.
email: info@roanereader.com
15 The Roane Reader
Public Candidate Forum set for July 12 at 6:00 P.M.
Rockwood City Hall
Rockwood 2000 is pleased to announce they will be hosting a public candidate forum on July 12th at 6:00 P.M. at Rockwood City Hall. The purpose of this event is to introduce the public to candidates running for: Property Assessor, Roane County Road Superintendent Tennessee House of Representatives, District 31 and 32. The public forum objective is informing as many people as possible the positions of each candidate. The candidates running for the above positions are: Property Assessor Molly Leggins Hartup Danny Holloway David Morgan (incumbent) Sammy Sams Roane County Road Superintendent Tim Clark Dennis Ferguson (incumbent) Brian Mullins
Tennessee House of Representatives (District 31) June Griffin Ron Travis (incumbent) Tennessee House of Representatives (District 32) Kent Calfee (incumbent) Cory Stafford
Candidates will be grouped according to the position for which they are running. Following introductions, there will be a question and answer session. The audience will have an opportunity to submit questions, in writing. After the questions are read, each candidate will then be given time to respond. Also, questions may be submitted, prior to the event, via mail to: Sandy McIntosh 149 Crystal Springs Road Rockwood, TN 37854 Or, via email to: smcintosh702@gmail.com Everyone is welcome - so mark the date and don’t miss this opportunity to meet and ask questions of the candidates in the upcoming August election.
S.L. BOWMAN & SONS, INC. MAYO SEEDS CLEANING UP? WE HAVE DUMPSTER GARDEN SUPPLIES RENTALS AVAILABLE & EQUIPMENT WE HAVE
Robert James & Associates will be conducting 2 free educational, seminars on this exciting company in
Harriman, TN on Tuesday July 19, at 5:00pm & Fairfield Glade, TN on Thursday July 21, at 11:00am Seating is very limited.. Call 865-376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700 to confirm your seats and seminar location… Don’t Miss out on one of these opportunities!
521 N. FRONT ST. ROCKWOOD, TN (865) 354-0600
16 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
Quotations from flight engineers reports
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 ft/min descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
We offer Respite Care and Adult Day Care Let us help you have a more relaxing summer by caring for your loved ones. • Licensed Nursing Care • Emergency Call System • Fire Alarm / Sprinklers • Light Housekeeping • Adult Day Services • Respite Care • Private & Shared Apartments
• Local Transportation • Life-Enriching Activities • Three Delicious Meals Daily & Healthy Snacks • Affordable Assisted Living • Short & Long-Term Openings • Financial Assistance Programs: VA/Choices Benefits
For more information please contact Saundra Bandy - Marketing Director email: marketing@victoriansquare.net
(865) 354-1133
www.victoriansquare.net
241 S. Chamberlain Ave. | Rockwood
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.
Phone: 865-882-9340
July 2016
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email: info@roanereader.com
17 The Roane Reader
The Blue Milk Bottle by: Russell Fine
www.futureworldhistorybooks.com. Chapter 2 - When Brad touched the bottle there was an explosion of bright blue “Thanks.” light, but no sound. Kate had closed her eyes for a few seconds. When she opened It took Bill about ten minutes to enter all the information into the computer, stopping them the light, Brad, and the blue milk bottle were gone. It happened so fast her mind occasionally to ask Kate some questions. Then he put the picture into a scanner, still didn’t register what happened. After a few seconds she called out to Brad but scanned it, and gave the picture back to Kate. He got up from the desk and walked there was no answer. She looked in every room in the house. There was no sign of over to a printer. He brought the form back to his desk, gave it to Kate and said, Brad. Now she was worried. She wondered if she should call the police. They would “Please sign here.” probably think she was crazy when she told them what happened, so she decided to She signed the form and Bill said, “Thanks. Please don’t worry Kate.” wait. Of course, she had no idea what happened. How could Brad be gone? Where “That's easy to say, but very difficult to do.” did he go? She locked the front door of the house, went to the car, and began crying. “Do you have someone you could stay with for a few days? This is probably a bad Kate drove back to the apartment in a daze. She made it without incident, but she time to be alone.” didn’t remember any part of the ten minute drive. She was hoping Brad would be “I don’t think I would be very good company for anyone else right now. Please call in the apartment, but she knew he wasn’t. She went inside, sat on the couch, and me if you find out anything.” realized Brad had his cellphone with him. She called him immediately, but there “Of course.” was no answer. She left him a message, but she didn’t think he would receive it. Kate got up and left the police station. Bill thought if this was a different couple he Brad was gone. would have suspected foul play, but not with Kate and Brad. They had been friends The next day she realized she had to tell the police Brad was missing. She decided since they met in third grade. They really loved each other. not to tell them about the blue milk bottle. She was going to tell them Brad left the Bill had been on the Mountain Ridge police force since graduating high school 12 house to get something from the car and never came back. years ago. He remembered another incident that occurred shortly before he joined the Mountain Ridge was a small town. The population was about 8,000. In the down- force. A man had disappeared without a trace. He thought the man lived on Center town area most of the people knew each other. Kate walked into the police station. Street, but he couldn’t remember his name. He decided to ask the chief about it. He The man sitting at the front desk was Bill Tracy. When he saw her he said, “Good was certain he would remember it. morning Kate. Is there something I can help you with?” Bill walked over to the chief’s office. The door was open. The chief was reading “Yeah Bill, there is. Brad disappeared yesterday.” something so he knocked lightly. The chief looked up and said, “Hi Bill, what can “What do you mean ‘disappeared’?” I do for you?” “I mean he is gone. I have no idea where he is. He doesn’t answer his phone. He’s “Just before I joined the force there was a missing person case involving a guy who gone.” lived on Center Street. Do you remember it?” Bill motioned for her to sit down next to the desk. “You need to tell me exactly what “Like it was yesterday. Why?” happened.” “Because Kate Miller was just in here to report her husband is missing. They bought “Okay. You know we bought that old house on Center Street. We closed on it yester- an old house on Center Street yesterday. He left the house to get something from the day. After the closing we were going through the house trying to decide where to put car and never came back.” the furniture. I realized we forgot to bring the tape measure; it was still in the car. “Pull the file on Jasper Martin and check the address. He was the one who disapBrad went out to get it and never came back.” She was starting to cry again. peared before.” “Please relax. We will find him. Do you have a recent picture of him?” “Okay, thanks.” “Yes,” she said as she opened her purse and took out her wallet. She removed a Bill found the file a few minutes later and checked the address with the one Kate had picture and handed it to Bill. just given him. It was the same. Bill went back to the chief’s office to let him know. “This is a good picture. We’ll distribute it all over the state. I’m sure somebody has The chief didn’t say anything, but he had a worried look on his face. Bill went back seen him. I have to do some paperwork to properly report this. Can you stay here for to his desk and filed the missing person report with the state. Within 12 hours every a few minutes while I do it? It needs your signature.” police officer in the state would know Brad Miller was missing. “Of course Bill. I will do anything I can to help get him back.”
Quick Promotion
Happy Birthday
Irene Woody
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
The boss called one of his employees into the office."Rob," he said, July 25th "you've been with the company for a year now. You started off in the mail room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to My Aunt's Closet is local author and attorney Chris Cawood's newest book released on July first. vice-president. Now, it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take Cawood is the author of ten books, but this is his first novel set in Kingston, Tn. Fictional characters in the real surroundings of Kingston bring to life this family mystery. over the company. What do you say to that? Jason Gregg is called to Kingston to take care of his aunt's estate and burial from his home in Jackson, “Thanks Dad”, the employee. Tn. He hasn't seen his aunt in forty-two years and thought she was long dead. He is the only surviving relative and decides to do his duty for the sake of family. Once to Kingston and to his aunt's home on Euclid Avenue, he begins to have fond memories of when he visited from birth to eight years old. It is a mystery to him as to why the visits suddenly ended. His aunt gave him her house and a key to her locked closet. There her nephew will look for answers in his aunt's journals. He believes he has found treasure but will it be tragedy? Gregg meets a woman para-legal from the district attorney general's officer and immediately falls for her. After she takes him four-wheeling on Windrock Mountain, he is hooked.
Local Author has book signing event for newest novel set in Kingston
Contact SENATOR
Yager Ken
Phone:
(615) 741-1449 or (800) 449-8366 ext. 11449
'LVWULFW 2LFH P.O. Box 684 Kingston, TN 37763
1DVKYLOOH 2LFH G19 War Memorial Bldg. Nashville, TN 37243
Cawood's novel will take you to real places in Kingston with Jason Gregg. Gregg wanders the Bethel Cemetery hill where he played as a seven-year-old and sees visions of the long departed. This book is hard to put down. Cawood will have a book signing during the Fourth of July celebration in Kingston.
18 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
HE THAT CALLETH YOU
"For every man God's called the preach" 1 Thessalonians 5:24 by: Katie Bailey Randolph
email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
The Roane Reader proudly presents
When the Lord gave you watch o'er your small flock of sheep He knew there would be night's that you could not sleep, Bringing the needs of each one to the throne And praying so long that the night would be gone. He saw the times you would rise in the wee hours of dawn To rush to the bedside of one going home. Though your body was weary you could not rest, Till you had comforted the hearts of those you love best. He knew you'd deny yourself to prepare A meal for His table, it must not be bare; That you'd take careful watch for the soul of each one Giving meat to the strong and milk to the young. He knew there'd be some that would stray from the fold. So He gave you a few to help carry the load; To reach out to those who's heart's are near breaking Because Satan saw their joy was worth taking. He knew there'd be days you'd cry, "Why, oh Lord?" So, He gave you a hunger to study His Word. There you have seen Him revealed many a time To give you the strength for each mountain you'd climb. So, remember Pastor, when you're feeling low Our Lord suffered more than we'll ever know. Just open your Bible to First Corinthians and look Chapter ten, verse thirteen is still in the book!
IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR WRITINGS ON THIS PAGE EMAIL US: INFO@ROANEREADER.COM or write to: 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Jerry’s Used Furniture Furniture - Appliances & Gift Items WE BUY GOOD USED FURNITURE ONE PIECE OR ENTIRE ROOMS
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THE WRITER'S PAGE
Heart-Searching by: Elsie Wyrick
If God was on a search of your hearts, what would he find? Would it be anger, pride, foolish talking, vile- bad thoughts, selfishness, self –righteousness or self respect, good moral, God fearing, God loving person? If He finds all the negatives, are you still thinking you are all-righteous with Him? His word says if we continue going against His will, He still loves us but He will turn His face from you. And you wonder why your prayers have not been answered. Clean your heart, for your body is supposed to be the holy temple of God. Is yours?
Fourth of July by: Donna Kay Reynolds The fourth of July flags raised high. Fireworks light up the sky Parade in town a show of floats As the river is lined with boats Cotton candy and cakes all around Smiles on faces through out the town Let freedom ring celebrate the day As the fireworks go on display
City Lights
by: Kelvey Nabors Ella took only two things: a sweater the color of ravens and the cigar box filled with money she kept under her mattress. She had kicked out the screen from the open window, the breeze like the tentacles of an octopus wrapping itself around her. The frogs in Myer's pond and the lilting sound of crickets were the night sounds that firmed her resolve. Surely a world that made such a whimsical kind of music was safe. She turned to take one last glance at the little lump of person in the bed beside her own. The blonde curls that spread out over the cotton pillowcase reminded Ella of the butterscotch candies you could buy at the 5 and 10 in town. The heavy puffs of a child's breath were beginning to blow her decision down. She buffered it by turning away, refusing to stay for a child that wasn't even her blood. "Ellie?" The rustle of bedsheets matched the hectic way her jugular pulsed. Lucy sat up, rubbing her big eyes in confusion. "Why are you up?" "Shh.." Ella quickly crossed the short distance to the bed. "Go back to sleep." "But why are you up?" Ella sighed, gently pushing Lucy back into her bed. "Do you remember the story I told you?" Lucy nodded. "Well, I'm going to see those city lights for myself." "Can I come?" "Someday. When you're bigger." Ella brushed a kiss on the child's forehead. "Ellie, I love you." Ella climbed onto their dresser, barely missing the lamp with her foot. She braced herself for the jump into the flowerbeds. "Goodnight, Lucy." She whispered. As Ella ran the deer trails behind the barn, she refused to look back. She knew it wouldn't only be a look. Her head was still filled with the scent of homemade soap in Lucy's wild curls. She hadn't meant to grow attached, but when the social worker showed up with the sandy-headed child, she lost control. Jacob and Bertha Myer are, were, her foster parents. They had always provided the necessities for her, but they saw Ella more like a job than a daughter. When her eighteenth birthday approached, they got Lucy. Ella was no longer needed and she knew it. She shoved the box under her arm, needing her hands to climb over the barbed wire fence. The coins rattled inside, reminding Ella of the summers she spent at Dolly's beauty shop. Dolly had been the only one in Clinton willing to hire her, and for that, Ella was grateful. She had earned every dollar by sweeping up the short hairs, cleaning the towels, and heating the hot rollers. She knew that Dolly could've easily done all of that plus the beauty work by herself, had done it for years, but Dolly hired her anyway. "My ol' back just can't handle all the bendin' to sweep." She had said, but Dolly wasn't a day over twenty-five. The sun was making it's way up over the foothills, greeting Ella with a promise of new beginnings. It's pink hue reminded her of the color of Dolly's dress on the day Ella told her that she was leaving. "Where're you gonna go? You ain't got no other family!" "I'm headed to Nashville. I got enough money for the bus fare and the livin'." "Fool kid, what's Nashville got for a girl like you?" Dolly didn't even think she was serious. Ella smiled at the memory, knowing now what she would've told her. Nashville had the city lights.
July 2016
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Prayers for Baby Kayden
19 The Roane Reader
--------------------------Kayden’s brain tumor has shrunk! It is still inoperable, but your prayers may help it disappear completely.
Kayden Christopher is now 11 months old. He has an inoperable brain tumor, and is presently at St. Judes in Memphis. He has just finished his chemo and the MRI shows the tumor has shrunk. He also has completely regained his eyesight. The bad news is the tumor is inoperable, and he may have lost some of his hearing because of the chemo. Kayden is expected to be at St. Judes at least until late August. A family member must be with him 24 hours a day to monitor his progress and any problems that may arise. Although his medical and lodging bills are paid by St. Judes, there are other expenses, such as food, formula, diapers, household supplies, development equipment and transportation to and from Memphis to enable family members to stay there with him. His Dad Matthew, Nanny Kay and PawPaw Larry, along with his 6 year old brother Keaton are staying in Memphis to help provide for his needs. Kayden has an account at Enrichment Federal Credit Union (acct. # 29297907) for donations to help pay for the expenses. His address is: Kayden Christopher 1811 Poplar Ave. Apt. 521 Memphis, TN 38104
We know God can heal Kayden, and with your prayers, maybe God will intervene and perform a miracle on Baby Kayden.
Where is God Two brothers are terrible trouble makers. They are always breaking things, stealing things, lying, and making all kinds of general trouble. The parents have tried everything to get the boys to change, to no avail. Finally, out of options, they ask their pastor if he can help. He says he will talk to the boys, but only one at a time. The parents drop off the youngest and go home, promising to return to get him soon. The boy sits in a chair across from the pastor's desk and they just look at each other. Finally, the Pastor says, "Where is God?" The boy just sits there and doesn't answer. The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "Where is God?" The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer. The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal to converse and practically shouts "Where is God?" To the pastor's surprise, the little boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office. The boy leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door and pants, "We're in BIG TROUBLE. God's missing and they think we did it!"
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McIntosh wins Ultimate Late Model Race at Smoky Mountain by: John Griffin The Ultimate Late Model Series was in action on Saturday night June 18th at Smoky Mountain Speedway. After time trials it was Donald McIntosh setting the fast time. In the 40 lap feature Casey Roberts led the first 8 laps before McIntosh got around him and then went on to take the checkers. McIntosh was followed by Ricky Weiss in 2nd and Casey Roberts in 3rd. A caution on lap 18 took out Ray Cook who had been running 2nd. Terry Poore led from start to finish to take the checkers in the sportsman feature with Kelvin White 2nd, and Hunter Best 3rd. The Street Stocks were also in action with Chris Rickett taking the checkers with Austin Neely 2nd, and Jeff McLemore 3rd. The next race will be the Lucas Oil Dirt Series race scheduled for July 9th with $12,000 going to the winner.
A man was speaking to God
"God, why did you make women so beautiful?" he asked. God said: "I did that to make you love them". Then the man asked: "Well, God; why did you make them such good cooks?" God said: "I did that to make you love them". The man then asked: "But God, why did you make women so gullible?". God said: "I did that to make them love you ! "
Girls Just Want to Have Fun! Many women are finding out just how much fun shooting handguns can be. But they are intimidated when they walk into gun ranges because of the way the smell, look, and are treated. This is no longer "a mans world" when it comes to handguns! Family Fun Indoor Range and Shooting for Women Alliance understand this all to well. Under their direction Women of a Different Caliber will be hosting Girls just want to have fun. This is being held the second and fourth Tuesday of each month starting in June! The time will be from 5pm - 9pm. Range fee will be $5 per girl (ages 12 and up). Your first target is free. Additional targets are $1 each. Girls can also get a 1 hour private lesson for a $50 donation. Pre registration is required for private lessons. This is a great time for your ladies groups, co-workers, mom and daughter fun, or simply with your besties. There will be a safety course for those 12 to16 years of age so be sure to arrange your times now. This is ladies only...no men allowed! But do not worry guys...we got you covered. Every Friday night from 5pm-9pm is date night at the range! Range fees are $5 per person. What better date could you have? So ladies call (865) 248-8277 to make your lane reservation ASAP as space is limited.
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Happy Birthday
Rena Lemons Irving July 26th
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Mar. 5th - Test & Tune Mar. 11th - 3rd Annual Tennessee Tip-off Classic Ray Cook's Spring Nationals Super Late Models - Hot Laps/Qualify Sportsman - $2000 to win Mar. 12th - 3rd Annual Tennessee Tip-off Classic Ray Cook's Spring Nationals Super Late Models - $15,000 to win Street Stocks $2,000 to win April 2nd - Ultimate Super Late Models Ultimate Super Late Models - $5,000 to win April 23rd - "Rockin' with the Stars" SAS Super Late Models - $5,000 to win USCS Sprint Cars USCS Midget Sprints May 7th - 4th annual Mountain Outlaw 50 World of Outlaws Late Models - $10,000 to win June 18th - Big Daddy 500 Ultimate Super Late Models - $5,000 to win July 9th - Mountain Moonshine Classic Lucas Oil Late Model Dirt Series - $12,000 to win July 29th - Ray Cook's Southern Nationals Super Late Models - $5,300 to win Aug. 27th - Southern Nationals Bonus Series Super Late Models - $5,000 to win Sept. 17th - King of the Mountain Fall Classic SAS Super Late Models - $5,000 to win Sept. 29th - Thursday Night Thunder Southern Nationals Bonus Series Super Late Models - $5,000 to win
Happy Birthday
John F. Stout July 7th
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New Alarm Clock Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
REDEMPTION
HOME CHURCH Casual Come As You Are Pastors Sam & Victoria Cox For More Infomation Call:
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Visit us in Kingston! If you are looking to: Get to know fellow Christians, receive and benefit from prayer, and practical preaching of God’s Word in a small home setting please come and visit with us. Happy Independence Day! God bless and we thank our Veterans for their service.
22 The Roane Reader
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Police Puns
Job Application
A Little Late For Work
For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 A.M. on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation. All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his name-tag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself." And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"
Bloopers
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July 2016
THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿)
Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader Go to www.roanereader.com/thephantom Here's a list of silly mistakes PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, people have made while writing EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. their job applications: ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!! •"Here are my qualifications for Entries that fail to provide all this information will not qualify! you to overlook." •"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions." •"Instrumental in ruining an entire Midwest chain operation." (Perhaps he meant running.)
•"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main have never quit a job." Street. •"Finished eighth in my class of "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." ten." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your "Experienced supervisor, heels in jail until the chief gets back." defective with both rookies and "But, officer, I just wanted to say," seasoned professionals." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, •"Please call me after 5:30. I am "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be self-employed and my employer in a good mood when he gets back." does not know I am looking for "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom." another job."
Daughter’s Wedding
What’s in a Name?
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
On My Way To A Lecture
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
•"It's best for employers that I not work with people." •"I’m extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability." •"I Planned a new corporate facility at $3 million over budget." •Personal Interests: "Donating blood. 14 gallons so far." •"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."
The Mean Boss
When an employee asked his Free Service Policeman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the boss for a day off of work, his boss looked him squarely in the night."at's the charge officer?" eyes and said "I'd love to give Policeman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service." you the day off but, if I let you have the day off, I'll have to give a day off to every employee whose wife has just given birth to triplets!"
MOTORS LLC
Call 882 1165
1007 Ruritan Rd
JESUS SAVES
Located 300 feet north of the red light at the intersection of Pine Ridge Rd & Ruritan Rd in So. Harriman
Sport Utilities Cars Trucks Equipment Carports Tractors Vans “Where Customers Send Their Friends”
Cindy McCord July 2nd
Winner in June No Winner
We mistakenly re-ran the same picture from May, so try your luck at this one above!
WHY VOTE TRUMP?
Obama is against Trump The Media is against Trump The establishment Democrats are against Trump The establishment Republicans are against Trump The UN is against Trump The EU is against Trump China is against Trump Mexico is against Trump Soros is against Trump Black Lives Matter is against Trump MoveOn.Org is against Trump Koch Bro's are against Trump Hateful, racist, violent liberals are against Trump
Bonus points
Cher says she will leave the country Mylie Cyrus says she will leave the country Whoopi says she will leave the country Rosie says she will leave the country AJ Sharpton says he will leave the country Gov. Brown says California will build a wall
July 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
NO POWER by Ed Avery
Electric light bulb is useless, (no light) unless it is connected to a Power source. In the same way, you and I are useless, unless we are connected to the power of God, and the only way we can be connected is through His Son the Lord Jesus Christ. That is what happened in my life. I would like you to read the rest of this letter so I can share with you how I was connected to the power of God. Before I met Jesus personally, I thought my life was quite full and I was busy with many things that were so meaningless deep down I felt there was something missing, I didn't know what it was. I knew of Christ, I went to church and I tried to live a good life. I was trying to do it on my own power. I thought I was a Christian, now I know I didn't even come close. Different times my brother would witness to me about Christ, he said he was a born again Christian, I didn't really know what that meant I just thought he was another one of those religious fanatics. So I didn't pay too much attention to him. In the fall of 1967, when my father was in the hospital, my brothers pastor went and visited my father and told him about the Lord at that time he asked the Lord in to his heart to be his Lord and Savior of his life, Spiritually born again I saw a change in his life, but I did not know what had happened or what it meant. At that time God started to speak to my own heart. When my Father died, it made me stop and really think about what that meant. It made me realize that there must be more to life than what I was doing with my life it made me wonder what would happen when it came time for me to die. I started to read the new testament (Bible) every night before I went to bed. I prayed that God would show me what I was missing in my life. One night in April 1968 I was connected to the power of God. I realized I was a sinner, and asked Him to forgive me of my sins and come into my life and heart and be my Lord and Savior, I was born again spiritually saved. I was in the same place and everything was different. A short time later my wife asked the Lord into her heart and life. We thank the Lord together. By reading and listing to the word of God, and by applying it to our life, you can be a child of His and be spiritually born again. I have found out that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believe shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 That He loves you and me that much. That I was a sinner, for all sinned and come short of Glory of God. Romans 3:23 That there is a penalty for sin, but that it was paid for by Christ, to those that invite Him into their hearts. But God commendeth His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 Salvation is a free gift--- we cannot earn it. Christ is waiting for you to ask Him into your heart (life). For by grace are ye saved through faith and not of yourselves: it is a gift of God: not of works lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 Behold I stand at the door and knock, if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come into him and sup with him and he with me. Revelation 3:20 We must receive Him to be Savior and Lord, it is up to you to make the first step, He has done all the rest. But as many as received Him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name. John 1:12 Jesus said, I am the way, that a truth and the life, no man, comes unto the father (God) but by me. John 14:6 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:13 The Lord is the connector between you and our Heavenly Father, God. I pray, that you too will connect your life to the power of God. He is waiting for you to ask Him in to your heart (life). There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews: The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him. Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Nicodemus saith unto him, how can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born? Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.. John 3:1-7
email: info@roanereader.com
23 The Roane Reader
Einstein and his chauffeur When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making. "I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you." Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!" When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly. Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool. Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
The Mind of a Child
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Rude Awakening We telemarketers know we're universally loathed. Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone. One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr. Morgan. The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that address, but she did have a number where he could be reached. I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, "Good morning, Highland View Cemetery."
Open Mouth, Insert Foot "Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." replied the boy. "I'm the principals daughter." said the girl. "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sigh of relief.
United States Coast Guard Auxiliary WATTS BAR LAKE FLOTILLA 12-08
NOW OFFERING A 2 DAY BOATING SAFETY CLASS
DATE: July 12th & 14th - Tue & Thur** TIME: NOON TO 4:00 PM BOTH DAYS Course Being held at Kingston Community Center 201 Patton Ferry Rd - Kingston, Tn
**SPACE IS LIMITED - SO CALL EARLY OR EMAIL NOW FOR RESERVATIONS
Bill White (865) 376-4822 -- Email: whitebill1220@yahoo.com
Phone: 865-882-9340
24 The Roane Reader
Who is Eric Trump?
He is one of the sons of Donald Trump Founded in 2006, The Eric Trump Foundation (ETF) is dedicated to raising money for children battling life-threatening diseases at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. To date, the Foundation has donated and pledged nearly $28 million dollars to St. Jude and grown into one of the largest private charities in the country. Through direct personal involvement and financial assistance, we strive to advance the medical and emotional needs of sick children at St. Jude and demand that our monetary donations are transformed into real results. By using only Trump owned and operated facilities, full-time volunteers, donated food/beverage product & pro-bono celebrity performers, The Eric Trump Foundation maintains one of the lowest expense ratios of any charity in the world. In November 2013, the Foundation announced the construction of The Eric Trump Foundation Surgical and ICU Center, a $20 million dollar state-of-the-art medical center opening in 2015. Last year, The Eric Trump Foundation AMKL Cancer Research Lab, in conjunction with the Washington University Pediatric Cancer Genome Project, made a groundbreaking discovery and identified a critical fusion gene responsible for almost 30% of a rare type of childhood leukemia. Each year, The Eric Trump Foundation hosts several golf tournaments across the country to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital at the exclusive Trump Golf Clubs in Los Angeles, New York, Washington, D.C., and Miami. The main fundraiser is held every September at Trump National Golf Club, Westchester, NY,and raises nearly $2 million dollars for St. Jude in one evening. Past hosts have included Jimmy Fallon, Bret Michaels, Lisa Lampanelli and John Rich. The Foundation has also raised nearly $500,000 from a permanent Charitybuzz online auction, which regularly offers such items as "Spend the Entire Day with President Bill Clinton" and "Sit in Derek Jeter's Personal Seats at a New York Yankees Game and Meet the Future Hall of Famer.” All items are 100% donated for auction.
Rookie Joke
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner." No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this is a bus stop."
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good deal
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?" The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"
Nationally Certified as a Consumer Bankruptcy Specialist
Each Office Is Independently Owned and Operated.
A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The programmer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then, you ask me a question. If I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The programmer, by now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!" This catches the engineer's attention and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The programmer asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the programmer. Now, it's the engineer's turn. He asks the programmer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The programmer looks at him, puzzled. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends email to all of his coworkers -- all to no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the engineer and hands him $50. The engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away, to try to get back to sleep. The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5 and turns away, to get back to sleep.
At the Sale It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I don't open the door!
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
HOMEOWNERS
GREAT RATES • SUPERIOR COVERAGE
Traughber Insurance Paul Traughber & Financial Svcs, Inc. Agent/Owner
Over 25 Years Experience
410 N. Kentucky St Kingston, TN 37763 www.cherylsellinghouses.com
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(865) 376-2121 Office (865) 740-2440 Mobile (866) 461-0593 Fax cherylsellshouses@gmail.com
Broker Associate
July 2016
YOU CHOOSE YOUR DEDUCTIBLE
JIM HENRY & ASSOCIATES
CHERYL LAXTON
email: info@roanereader.com
www.msw-law.com
420 Ruritan Rd, Harriman TN 37748 Ph: 865-882-1900 • Fax: 865-882-1908 Email: traughber@bellsouth.net
July 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
Boys & Girls Club Annual Reverse Raffle! The Boys & Girls Clubs of the Clinch Valley will hold its annual Reverse Raffle on Saturday, July 30th at 6:30 pm. This year’s event will be hosted and catered by the Oak Ridge Country Club. The Oak Ridge Country Club is completing renovations to their pool and outdoor bar and entertainment area. “We are so excited to have the Raffle at the Country Club this year. It is just the perfect venue for this fun and casual event, with the best views in Oak Ridge!” said Boys & Girls Club CEO, Jennifer Pettyjohn. This year’s jackpot is again $10,000! Numbers will be drawn during the evening on July 30th and the last number on the board WINS! For $100 the evening will include one entry into the raffle drawing, and admission for two to the live gaming, dinner, drinks and live music event. To keep the fun going, artists, TRUK will be playing live on the new patio and consolation prizes will be randomly awarded to losing raffle numbers by guest emcees! Not available on the 30th? NO PROBLEM! You do not have to be present to win! “Fundraising events like the Reverse Raffle are so important. These funds support programming expenses so we can continue to serve EVERY child in our community that needs us!” added Pettyjohn. Programs like Money Matters that teaches basic earning and budgeting skills, Triple Play that gets members moving and offers nutrition curriculum and SMART MOVES that teaches resistance training and supports our youth in making better choices when faced with peer pressure and at-risk environments. The event, thus far, is generously sponsored by Roane County Anti-Drug Coalition, Strategic Consulting Solutions, Inc., Barr Technical Services, Enrichment Federal Credit Union, Information International Associates, Inc., UCOR, and Board Member Fred Barry. Sponsorship packages are still available and include event entry and recognition opportunities! For more information, sponsorship or tickets please email jpettyjohn@bgccv.org or call 865.244.6073. Tickets can also be purchased from any board member or staff. This is a State of Tennessee approved Charitable Gaming Event. You must be 18 to purchase a raffle ticket and 21, with ID, to attend the event. Proceeds from this year’s event will help the Boys & Girls Clubs of the Clinch Valley to enable all young people, especially those who need us most, to reach their full potential as productive, caring, responsible citizens.
Celebrate Recovery! Every Tuesday Celebrate Recovery meets at 6 pm at Kingston First Baptist Church. It's a faith based program for anyone with a hurt, habit, or a hang-up.
Everyone is welcome!
www.roanereader.com
The Speed Limit
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142."
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Robert Orben
email: info@roanereader.com
25 The Roane Reader
Never Disappoint the Customer
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?" The clerk smiled and said ... "Rain."
TennCare Kids
is a free program of checkups and health care services for children from birth to age 21 who are TennCare eligible. These services make sure babies, children, teens, and young adults receive the health care they need.
What does TennCare Kids provide? • Free medical and dental checkups • Free medical and dental and services • Free behavioral health services
How Often Should Your Child Get A Checkup? Birth
9 Months
3-5 Days
12 Months
1 Month
15 Months
2 Months
18 Months
4 Months
24 Months
6 Months
30 Months
Every Year: Ages 3-20 Roane County Health Dept. 1362 North Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854 865-354-1220
Your child’s FREE medical checkup will include: • Health history • Complete physical exam • Lab tests (as needed) • Immunizations • Vision/hearing screening • Developmental/ behavioral screening (as needed) • Advice on how to keep your child healthy
Questions?
Contact your health plan or your local TennCare Kids staff.
Happy Birthday
Mary Hughes July 27th
We do not allow unfair treatment in TennCare. No one is treated in a different way because of race, color, birthplace, language, sex, age, religion or disability.
26 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
School Funnies
The new librarian The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other librarian we had could write."
Teacher: When were the first and second World Wars fought? Student: I don't know about the first, but the second World War was fought after the first. ________________________________________ Dad: Son, this time I expect 80 percent marks in your final examination. Son: No Dad, I think I'll manage 100 percent. Dad: Don't joke with me. Son: Who started the joke? ________________________________________ Teacher: Harry, show me America on the map. Harry: (Pointing on the map) It's here. Teacher: Correct. Now William can you tell me who discovered America? William: Harry, ma'am! ________________________________________ In the school, during a mathematics class... Teacher: If I were to ask you to add 8,137 to 73 and then divide the result by two, what do you think you would get? Student: The wrong answer, sir. ________________________________________ Teacher: Who succeeded the first Emperor of Rome? Pupil: The second one! ________________________________________ Teacher: What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans? Pupil: Speaking Latin! ________________________________________ Why aren't you doing very well in history? Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!____________
Happy Birthday
Samuel Christopher July 23rd
Mid-East Community Action Agency
Roane and Loudon Counties Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applications for the 2015/2016 Program Year Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families
To complete an application or to get information please call the Head Start Admin Center in Kingston at 865-376-2308 ext 222 Monday -Thursday Site Admin Office Rolling Acres Fairmont
Phone 865-376-2308 865-882-0808 865-882-8737
P.O. Box 790 Mid-East Kingston, TN 37763 Community Action Agency www.mecaa.net
Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.
Sarah Beth Sitzler, age 5 Madisonville, Tn
Hey Kids!
Do you have a poem or short story you’ve written?
Send it to us at 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748 and we’ll print it!
Public Stargazing Tamke-Allan Observatory, Harriman
Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long. Public is welcome! The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road - turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left. Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long, inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.
Gates open at 7 pm
For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or fieldsde@roanestate.edu for details.
July 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
Ever Wondered?
www.roanereader.com
An Email From God
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing? the evil that was going on. He Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't decided to send an angel down taste or smell anything like it. to Earth to check it out. So he Why does a round pizza come in a square box? called one of His best angels Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, and sent the angel to Earth for a but when it "gels" the smell is gone? time. Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car? is bad and 5% is good. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? Well, he thought for a moment Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion and said, maybe I had better stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? send down a second angel to get Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. another point of view. So God called another angel Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue? and sent her to Earth for a time Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread? too. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? When the angel returned she Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs? went to God and told him yes, Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good. with? Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head God said this was not good. So He decided to E-mail the 5% on a tree all day? that were good and He wanted Why is bra singular and panties plural? to encourage them, give them Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all? a little something to help them Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"? keep going. Do you know what that E-mail Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them? said???? Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' butts in football, but not You didn't get one either in any other situation? .....huh? Why is it that before 9/11 they always showed the emergency Happy Birthday broadcast system test, and on 9/11 they never used it? Jerry Lemons Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron? July 26th Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it? Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"? Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him? Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand? Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Distributed into 4 counties and the World Wide Web @ www.roanereader.com
27 The Roane Reader
Think About It
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. As the shoe said to the hat, 'You go on ahead, and I'll follow on foot'. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids. Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents. I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. Every calendar's days are numbered. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery. A pessimist's blood type is b-negative. Practice safe eating -- use condiments. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Shotgun wedding: wife or death. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Acupuncture is a jab well done. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Outreach Program Walnut Hill Church's mission is reaching the lost and helping people in need.
The Outreach program needs items donated to make them available to needy people in our area. Clothing - all sizes Shoes Socks Shampoo Soap
Tooth brushes Toothpaste Underclothes ĂďLJ ŝĂƉĞƌƐ and other items
Stamps & Cards School Supplies Back Packs Clothes Hangers ĂƐŚ ĚŽŶĂƟŽŶ
ƌŽƉ Kī dŝŵĞƐͲ tĞĚŶĞƐĚĂLJ͗ ϭϮ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ Θ dŚƵƌƐĚĂLJƐ Ͳ ϵ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ The people who get the items will be screened and records will be kept to assure the program is used in the right way.
NEED TO INCREASE YOUR SALES?
Advertise with The Roane Reader
email: info@roanereader.com
BILLY GRIGSBY, OWNER 354-9957 354-9290
DAMAGE FREE HAULING
1348 GATEWAY - ROCKWOOD
Please pray for the Outreach program. /Ĩ LJŽƵΖĚ ůŝŬĞ ƚŽ ǀŽůƵŶƚĞĞƌ͕ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ ƚŚĞ KƵƚƌĞĂĐŚ ůĞĂĚĞƌ͘ tĞ ŶĞĞĚ ƚŽ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ĂƫƚƵĚĞ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵ ĨŽƌ ŝƚ ƚŽ ǁŽƌŬ͘ Let God lead us in everything we do.
visit www.csstrong.org for more info
dŽ ĚŽŶĂƚĞ Žƌ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͕ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ &ĂLJĞ ĂŶŝĞůƐ͕ Outreach Leader at 865-590-7192 or 865-308-9283.
28 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
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email: info@roanereader.com
July 2016
“Little River” - Chapter 7
tears were stinging the back of his eyes. Bloopers Doctors Have As he entered the house, he called out, “Caleb? Travis? I’m sorry by: Rachel Holbrook Written About Patients Titus sat quietly across the small table from Jamie in his downtown I’m late.” He walked the few short steps to the living room, and found both boys slumped on the sofa, watching a baseball game. 1. On the second day the knee apartment. was better, and on the third day “You guys okay?” “Titus?” Jamie gently prodded. “What’s wrong?” it disappeared. Titus clasped his hands together on the table top. “I’m just waiting.” “Yeah.” Caleb nodded. “We made ourselves sandwiches. I hope 2. The patient is tearful and that’s alright. We were hungry.” “For what?” crying constantly. She also “You called me at work and asked me to come over to talk.” Titus “Of course it is.” Titus sat on the edge of the chair nearest them. appears to be depressed. looked sadly at his boyfriend of eight years. “That can’t be good.” “Help yourselves to whatever you want whenever you want.” 3. The patient has been depressed Jamie sighed and pushed his black framed glasses up the bridge “Even the booze?” Travis smirked. since she began seeing me in of his nose. Wearing just his dress pants and white undershirt, he “Don’t be smart.” Titus tossed a throw pillow at the boy. “Leave 1993. still looked like the corporate lawyer he was. Even in his obviously the alcohol alone, but you can have whatever else you want.” “Have you ate?” Caleb asked. “Want me to make you a sandwich?” 4. Discharge status: Alive but nervous state, he sat up straight with his shoulders squared. without my permission. “Are you breaking up with me?” Titus hated how pathetic he Titus smiled at the offer. “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.” “Why are you late?” Travis asked, with characteristic bluntness. 5. The patient refused autopsy. sounded. 6. Patient's medical history has “You know I love you, Ty.” Jamie got up and walked around to “I had to go talk to Jamie.” been unremarkable with only a Titus, kneeling down beside of him. He reached for Titus’ hand, but “About what?” Travis inquired. 40-pound weight gain in the past Titus kept them clasped on the table. He gently laid his hand on his “Maybe that’s none of your business.” Caleb frowned at his brother. three days. “Maybe you should shut up!” Travis threw a half-hearted punch at leg instead. He implored him, “You know I love you.” 7. Patient had waffles for breakCaleb’s shoulder. “But?” fast and anorexia for lunch. “But I’m tired of waiting.” Jamie fought to keep the frustration “Stop it.” Titus said wearily. He sighed. “I might as well tell 8. She is numb from her toes from his voice. “I want a family, Titus. You say you do, too, but it’s you-Jamie and I broke up.” “What?” Caleb was surprised. “Why? You guys have been together down. been eight years. When is that going to happen?” 9. The skin was moist and dry. Titus dropped his head to the table, and let the tears fall, silently forever.” 10. The patient was to have forming two tiny pools. He had been dreading this moment for Travis stared hard at the baseball game. His uncle’s relationship a bowel resection. However, made him uncomfortable. months. He had felt it coming. he took a job as a stockbroker “Come sit with me.” Jamie’s voice was soft. He led Titus to the “Our lives were just going in different directions.” Titus’ voice instead. trembled, betraying the emotions he was trying to hide. couch, and sat beside him, holding his hand. 11. Patient was seen in consulta“I can’t believe this is happening.” Titus looked as stunned as he “I’m sorry.” Caleb said softly. tion by Dr. Blank, who felt we “Thanks, Caleb.” Titus stood, and ruffled Caleb’s hair the way he felt. should sit on the abdomen and I “I’m sorry.” Jamie rubbed his thumb over the back of Titus’ knuck- did when he was little. “I think I’m going to go on to bed. I’m pretty agree. les. “I really am, Ty. I love you, and I’m sorry. I’ve been waiting for tired.” 12. Patient has chest pain if she years, though, and, with the boys moving in with you, I know you’re “Okay.” Caleb studied his uncle’s face, concerned. lies on her left side for over a “Goodnight, Boys.” not moving in with me anytime soon.” year. “Goodnight.” Caleb replied. “They need me.” Titus said. Eye Contacts “I know that.” Jamie nodded. “I understand what you’re doing, Travis muttered, “Night,” without looking away from the TV. A policeman stops a lady and Titus. I do. I just can’t wait any longer. I’ve tried to be understanding. Titus went to his bedroom, shut the door, and stood still for a asks for her license. He says I know your family is important to you. I just want things, too. I’m moment, his eyes filling with tears. He yanked his shirt from his "Lady, it says here that you tired of being alone all the time. A person shouldn’t be this lonely in a waistband, and loosened his tie. In the adjoining bathroom, he should be wearing glasses." relationship. I want to have kids, and I don’t want to wait until you’re turned on the shower, and stepped into it without removing his The woman answered "Well, I clothes. He let the steaming water course over his face as he let finished raising your nephews.” have contacts." “They’re just staying with me until Annie gets better,” Titus himself cry…really cry…for the first time since leaving Jamie’s apartment. protested. The policeman replied "I don't “Titus.” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly. “Annie is not going He stood under the water until it turned cold and he began care who you know! You're shivering. He turned the water off, and stepped onto the rug. He to get better. You know that.” getting a ticket!" “I want to be with you.” Titus was desperate. “Please don’t end it. I unbuttoned his wet shirt, and peeled it off. One by one, he removed can talk to my brother and sister-get them to help me with the boys. his sodden clothes, and dropped them into the bathtub. He dried Happy Birthday I’ll go ahead and move up here. Just give me long enough to work it himself off, and retrieved his robe from the hook on the back of the door. He was freezing. Glaring at himself in the mirror, he thought, out.” Jamie squeezed his hand. “It’s been years, Ty. Years. If you were Titus, you idiot. Pull yourself together. You’re acting like a fool.
Barbara Fisher
going to shift some of the burden to Jonathan and Bekah, you would have done that by now. I’m not mad at you for stepping up and taking care of your nephews, Ty. But I have to take care of myself.” He paused, and then added, “I wish you would take care of yourself, too.” Titus parked his car in his driveway. He turned off the ignition, and sat for a moment in the quiet. The stillness of the car felt insulating. He could see the flickering light of the TV through his living room window, and knew the boys were home. He hadn’t told them he would be late. He didn’t have a way to contact them. They didn’t have cell phones, and he didn’t have a landline. He opened the car door, and walked slowly to the front door of his house. He attempted to arrange his face in a cheerful expression, but
July 8th
“Little River” is an ongoing serial which debuted on 6-30-15. New installments will be published every month in The Roane Reader. If you enjoy this serial you can purchase “Little River” Vol. 1 from Amazon in paperback or as a Kindle book for easy reading on your e-reader devices. Rachel Holbrook writes from her home in East Tennessee, where she lives with her husband and six children. She is currently seeking representation for her first novel.
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Check out these 10 surprising facts about dogs
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Pet’s Page
1. Your dog is as smart as a 2-year-old toddler. There’s a reason your tot and your pup get along so well: they speak the same language. Or at least, they likely understand roughly the same number of words and gestures — 250! 2. Dogs and cats both slurp water the same way. This may be hard to believe since dogs are such messy drinkers, but just like cats, our canine friends bend the tip of their tongue and raise liquid in a column up to their mouths. 3. Your dog does have a sense of time — and misses you when you’re gone. If you think your dog knows when it’s time for dinner or a walk, you’re right! Dogs pick up on our routines and habits, and they also sense how much time has passed. One study showed how dogs responded differently to their owners being gone for different lengths of time. 4. Your dog’s whiskers help him “see” in the dark. Okay, it’s not quite night-vision or a super power, but those whiskers pick up on even subtle changes in air currents, providing your pup with information about the size, shape, and speed of things nearby. This allows your dog to better sense approaching dangers or prey — even at night. 5. Dogs only have sweat glands in their paws. More specifically, they are found between their paw pads. That’s why it can help to wet the bottom of their feet on a hot day, and it’s also why dogs rely on panting as a means of cooling down. 6. On average, a dog’s mouth exerts 320 pounds of pressure. The tests were done on a German shepherd, American pit bull terrier, and Rottweiler. In comparison, human beings exert 120 pounds, white sharks exert 600 pounds, and crocodiles exert a whopping 2,500 pounds! Dogs also have ten more adult teeth than humans — 42 versus 32. 7. Your one year-old pup is as physically mature as a 15-year-old human. Of course, different breeds age a little differently. Large dogs age faster than small ones. You can get a more exact comparison for your dog using a Dog Age Calculator. 8. Your dog’s sense of smell is 1,000 to 10 million times better than yours. Depending on the breed, your dog has between 125 million to 300 million scent glands — compared to only 5 million for humans. And the part of your dog’s brain that controls smell is 40 times larger than yours — that’s true, even though the canine brain is much smaller than the human, relative to size. A humans brain is about 1/40th of their body weight while a dog’s brain is only 1/125th. Don’t feel too smug, though — an ant’s brain is 1/7th its body weight. 9. Dogs can hear 4 times as far as humans. Puppies may be born deaf, but they quickly surpass our hearing abilities. Dogs can also hear higher pitched sounds, detecting a frequency range of 67 to 45,000 hertz (cycles per second). The human range is from 64 to 23,000 hertz. In both dogs and humans, the upper end of hearing range decreases with age. 10. Your dog can smell your feelings. Your pup can pick up on subtle changes in your scent, which can help him figure out how you are feeling — such as by smelling your perspiration when you become nervous or fearful. It’s also likely how dogs can detect certain diseases or know that a household member is pregnant.
29 The Roane Reader
A Note to my Dog and Cat
Dear Dogs and Cats, 1. When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. 2. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. 3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run. 4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm. 5. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees. 6. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. 7. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. 3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
ROANE COUNTY PAWS
Cats..did you know? Cats have been the favorite pet in the United States since 1987, when the species overtook dogs, and, as of 2015, there are currently around 500 million domestic cats in the world. A group of adult cats is called a clowder, and a group of kittens is called a kindle. Cats, unlike dogs, cannot taste sweet things.
email: info@roanereader.com
Happy Birthday
Mike Alt July 12th
Our mission is to improve the welfare of animals in Roane County We issue vouchers each month to Planned Pethood. We are working with Mark Neely at the Rockwood City Animal Shelter in his established pet food pantry. We educate others about the importance of spaying and neutering, vaccinating, caring for, and properly vetting pets. We are a 501c3 not for profit organization. We rely on the donations of our community members to fund our vouchers and assist with pet care needs. Each dollar donated goes directly toward the care of pets in our area.
Please consider making a donation to Roane County Paws Checks can be mailed to 119 Arrowood Lane, Harriman, TN 37748 or dropped off at First Bank of TN in South Harriman. For more information, contact Hope Gibson at 865-250-6966 or Cindy Hickey at 865-607-2865
30 The Roane Reader
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July 2016
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Address 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763 413 Devonia St, Harriman, Tn 37748 1226 S Roane St, Harriman, Tn 37748 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763
B & M Wrecker Service
1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854
Big Emory Church Benchmark Church Carriage Hill Insurance CB Man
1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 961 E. Tri-County Blvd. Oliver Springs, Tn 37840 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8, Rockwood, Tn 37854 www.truckers-more-cb-radio-range.com 215 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 - First Baptist 229 Carter Ave. Harriman, Tn 37748 - West Care 101 Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 2104 S. Congress Parkway 230 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Celebrate Recovery Christmas Lumber Co. Clayton Homes (Athens) Cochran's Tax and Bookkeeping Coldwell Banker Cheryl Laxton Coldwell Banker Glenda Johnson Coldwell Banker Sherry Tipton Credit Central Eagle Mart Eddies Body Shop Ellis Surplus & Salvage Fraker Funeral Home Gadget's Hobby Shop Gary's Pest Control Grants Tree Service Grasscutters G & S Construction Guinnbilt Portable Buildings
410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 10815 Kingston Pike Knoxville, Tn 37934 705 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1238 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763 204 Trenton St. Harriman, Tn 37748 P.O. Box 1026 Harriman, Tn 37748 160 Country Club Dr. Rockwood, TN, 37854 2641 Sugar Grove Valley Rd Harriman, TN 37748 Harriman Area
Happy Paws Harriman Home Center Health Markets Insurance Agency Matthew Libby Hugh Russell Motors, LLC Hwy 29-A Motors Inc Integrity Auto Sales Jamestowne Assisted Living Jerrys Used Furniture Jim Rummell Collectibles
707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Phone (865) 617-5998 (865) 376-4589 (865) 590-7453 (865) 590-7429 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290 (865) 285-1390 (865) 384-3711 (865) 394-1356 (865) 394-1358 (865) 882-2362 (423) 745-4752 (865) 882-8556 (865) 376-2121 (865) 740-2440 (865) 376-2121 (865) 591-6900 (865) 966-1111 (865) 622-1213 (865) 882-1324 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 387-3572 (865) 717-7727 (865) 882-7528 (865) 882-5794 (865) 399-7247 (865) 250-3656 (865) 389-6913 (865) 882-5309 (865) 804-4400 (865) 310-4677 (865) 224-9640 (865) 882-3931
806 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763
(865) 414-8257
1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 2645 Harriman Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-1165 (865) 882-6462 (865) 285-9246 (865) 376-3030 (865) 882-3603 (865) 224-0431 (865) 234-7100 (865) 250-2710 (865) 223-3090 (865) 354-2802
J. Neal Jewelry
416 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Joes Mowing Junior's Restaurant KARM Stores Kingston Express Lube Kingston Parks & Recreation Kittrell's Kitchen KTB Taxes Logs to Lumber
214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 1496 N. Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 www.kingstonparks.com 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 111 South 3rd St. Kingston, Tn 37763 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771
L & J Home Repair
148 Hensley Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763
Mary Kay - Sherry Tipton
(865) 717-8288 (865) 376-1356 (865) 376-3060 (865) 376-0122 (865) 986-4264 (865) 466-2735 (865) 223-3090 (865) 622-1213
Mid-East Community Action Agency P.O. Box 790 Kingston, Tn 37763
(865) 376-2308
Midtown Florist & Gifts
(865) 882-3603
2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
Mostoller, Stulberg, Whitfield & Allen 136 S. Illinois Ave., Sute 104 Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 Law Firm (Social Security Disability) Patti Savage Designs Princess Theatre Quality Home Health Radio 580-AM Realty Executives Brenda Chapman Renos Sporting Goods
715 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, TN 37763 421 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Roane County Paws
119 Arrowood Ln., Harriman, Tn 37748
Roane County Trustee Roane Reader
P.O. Box 296 Kingston, Tn 37763 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748
319 West Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
(865) 789-2706 (865) 882-4633 (423) 346-3302 (865) 250-6718
3232 Tazewell Pike Knoxville, Tn 37918
(865) 688-3232
430 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-2450 (865) 250-6966 (865) 607-2865
Robert James & Associates
615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763
Rockwood Village Apartments Rosemary's Florist S.L. Bowman & Sons
601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
Seal Coat Specialist
Harriman Area
Senator Ken Yager Sextons Automotive Group Shelton Financial Protection Shepherd Plumbing Spotted Spaniel State Farm - Bill McFarland Taxes Done Right
6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 Roane County Area 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 119 North Gateway Avenue 1251 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Tellico Propane
1375 Monterey Road Loudon, TN 37774
Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Victorian Square Assisted Living Walnut Hill Outreach Program Your Time Clock & Watch Repair
(865) 482-4466
(865) 882-9340 (865) 376-4925 (800) 530-5700 (865) 354-3945 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-0600 (864) 640-1654 (865) 223-3976 (615) 741-1449 (865) 882-2416 (865) 376-0321 (865) 354-8518 (865) 483-0961 (865) 354-9453 (865) 465-5575 (865) 408-9050 (888) 294-9234
420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-1900
1220 Bowman Bend Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, Tn 37854
(865) 376-4822 (865) 354-1133 (865) 590-7192 (865) 466-5805
31 The Roane Reader
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Name Anytime Fitness Big E Quick Mart Big Johns Bob's Hamburgers Cochran's Tax Service Coin Laundry (Harriman) Dollar General Market Eagles Food Mart Eddies Body Shop Food City (Harriman) Harriman Care & Rehab Center Harriman Jewelry Exchange Harriman Public Library Hugh Russell Motors Midtown Florist & Gifts Mossy Grove Food Mart Roane Medical Center Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets (Scott's MKT) Rocky Top Markets Save-A-Lot (Harriman) Schilo Foodmart Sexton Automotive Group Traughber Insurance Oasis Food Mart Harriman Home Center Renos Sporting Goods Roane Street Grill Cost Saver Exxon Food City (Kingston) Jamestowne Assisted Living Roane County Court House Rock Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Zoning Office Spotted Spaniel Anderson County Tobacco and Market Food City (Oliver Springs) Jones Grocery Marathon Fuel Center Coin Laundry (Oliver Springs) B & M wrecker Big E's Bridge At Rockwood Carriage Hill Insurance Hardees (Rockwood) Junior's Restaurant Rockwood Care & Rehab Center Rockwood Village Apartments Rocky Top Markets S.L. Bowman & Sons Inc Victorian Square Assisted Living Wal-mart Supercenter Darnell Food Market Hardees (Wartburg) Save-A-Lot (Wartburg) Sexton Ford
Address 1226 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 2843 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 828 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 3209 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 230 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 1301 S. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 201 Ruritan Rd Harriman,TN 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman,TN 37748 514 Emory Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1130 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 240 Hannah Road Harriman,TN 37748 509 Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 601 Walden Ave Harriman,TN 37748 1007 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 2744 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 1705 Morgan County Highway Harriman,TN 37748 8045 Roane Medical Center Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1811 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 2722 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 102 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1225 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1901 Harriman Highway Harriman,TN 37748 269 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 420 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 635 Old Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 707 Old Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 430 N. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 812 N Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 615 North Kentucky Street Kingston,TN 37763 1007 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 1000 Ladd Landing Boulevard Kingston,TN 37763 851 Lawnville Road Kingston,TN 37763 200 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 935 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 200 West Race St Kingston,TN 37763 104 Bluff Road Kingston,TN 37763 308 North 3rd Street Kingston,TN 37763 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge,TN 37830 S1 705 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 508 East Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37840 4306 Knoxville Highway Oliver Springs,TN 37840 704 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 903 E Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37748 1348 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 320 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8 Rockwood,Tn 37854 504 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 214 West Rockwood Street Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 601 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 101 South Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 521 North Front Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 241 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1102 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1014 Main Street Wartburg,TN 37887 1122 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 3910 Morgan County Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 1226 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887
Phone Number (865) 590-7429 (865) 882-7888 (865) 882-2822 (865) 882-5300 (865) 882-8556 (865) 882-0880 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 882-0117 (865) 882-1613 (865) 882-4000 (865) 882-3195 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-3603 (423) 346-5858 (865) 319-1000 (865) 882-7779 (865) 882-0075 (865) 882-0706 (865) 882-5446 (865) 882-7726 (800) 688-0833 (865) 882-1900 (865) 882-0602 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-2450 (865) 285-6025 (865) 717-0038 (865) 376-4059 (865) 376-7534 (865) 376-3030 (865) 376-2487 (865) 376-1771 (865) 717-2832 (865) 717-4230 (865) 483-0961 (865) 435-2662 (865) 435-5353 (423) 324-4932 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-3366 (865) 285-1390 (865) 354-4004 (865) 354-2802 (865) 354-3303 (865) 354-3945 (865) 354-2809 (865) 354-0600 (865) 354-1133 (865) 354-0863 (423) 346-3344 (423) 346-7666 (423) 346-6767 (866) 211-2642
Description Inside on wall at front window Inside on the "order here" counter Inside under counter Outside under the tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on top of Coin Machine Outside in our tabloid rack Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the waiting room Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on counter Inside in magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the cashier counter Inside in the magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside to the left under the magazine racks Inside under the counter in the magazine rack Out front beside the Roane County News rack Inside in magazine rack Inside the show room Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside under the coat rack Inside the lobby Inside under the magazine racks Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the front desk Inside the door Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the front desk Inside on the counter Inside on top of the lottery booth Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the tabloid racks Inside under counter Inside on tables Inside on the counter Inside Inside on the front desk Inside on desk Inside on top of the dividers Inside the door to the left in the magazine rack Inside on the front desk Inside on the front desk Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the counter Inside on the front desk Inside our tabloid rack across from self checkout Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the divider wall Inside under tabloid racks Inside the show room
*8,11%,/7 3257$%/( %8,/',1*6 .
Serving East Tn since 1975
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Barns Garages Additions Housing
Compare and Save! BARN TYPE
GABLE TYPE
8x8................$895............................$995 8x10................$995..........................$1095 8x12..............$1095..........................$1245 10x10..............$1195..........................$1245 10x12..............$1295..........................$1495
Custom Build Any Size, Any Style, Your Place Or Ours
10x16..............$1695..........................$1895 10x20..............$2195..........................$2395
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865-882-5309 865-804-4400
VOTED
BEST NEW CAR DEALERSHIP & BEST USED CAR DEALERSHIP In the Roane County News 2016 Reader’s Choice Awards We would like to say
Judy Bailey Jones
David Christmas Body Shop Manager
Joe Jones
Chris Gunter Shop Foreman
for your vote of confidence. We truly appreciate it and will strive to continue to be the “BEST” in Roane County!!
Mike Justice
Wendall Payne
Jack Martin Service Advisor
Mike Cox Service Director
865-882-2416 Service Hours:
Mon. - Fri. 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. *Sat. 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. *(Express Lube only)
269 S. ROANE ST.
HARRIMAN