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RoaneReader FREE
Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!
Established 1993
January 2016
Distributed
VOLUME 23
NUMBER 3
7,500
Little River - A Serial ............... 28 By Rachel Holbrook
Precious Memories ................. 2 By Kay Christopher
Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips
Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts
Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers
Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes
Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings
Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes
According to the Almanac ......... 5 When to do what
Never Loose Money .................. 14 By Bob Tonachio
Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly
Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults
Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses
Can You Find Me多 ................... 22
FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER pg.31 and @
www.roanereader.com/findone Pick one up before they are all gone!
By The Phantom
Pets Page ................................... 23 Tips for your pets
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SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY By O.I. Seenya
• Kids, barefoot and wearing shorts, playing in mud puddles on Christmas Eve. • Two women, while Christmas shopping, getting into a fight at WalMart. • Does a manager and a supervisor of a utility company make a daily beer run to a certain convenient store in company vehicles? • A national park will be located in Roane County.
Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you’ll find is that you can overcome anything.
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he Gift of Time The last wishes of Alexander the Great... On his death bed, Alexander summoned his army generals and told them his three ultimate wishes: 1. The best doctors should carry his coffin ... 2. The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones) should be scattered along the procession to the cemetery .... 3. His hands should be let loose, so they hang outside the coffin for all to see!!One of his generals who was surprised by these unusual requests asked Alexander to explain. Here is what Alexander the Great had to say: 1. "I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no power to heal.." 2. "I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that everybody sees that material wealth acquired on earth, will stay on earth.." 3. "I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people understand that we come to this world empty handed and we leave this world empty handed after the most precious treasure of all is exhausted, and that is : TIME. We do not take to our grave any material wealth. TIME is our most precious treasure because it is LIMITED. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time. When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back . Our time is our life! The best present you can give your family is your TIME. May God grant you plenty of TIME, to share with all.
9:00am to 4:30pm Mon - Fri There are many events that occur during the year that can affect your tax situation. Preparation of your tax return involves summarizing transactions and events that occurred during the prior year. In most situations, treatment is firmly established at the time the transaction occurs. However, negative tax effects can be avoided by proper planning. Please contact us, COCHRANS TAX in advance if you have questions about the tax effects of a transaction or event, including the following: • Pension or IRA distributions
• Sale or purchase of a residence or other real estate
• Significant change in income or deductions • Retirement • Job change
• Notice from IRS or other revenue department
• Marriage
• Divorce or separation
• Attainment of age 59-1/2 or 70-1/2
• Self-employment
• Sale or purchase of a business
• Charitable contributions of property in excess of $5K
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January 2016
Precious Memories By: Kay Christopher
The Record Player
When I was a young teenager in Emory Gap, we spent our evenings in the bedroom of our cousin’s house which was next door to us. They had a record player, and the best rock and roll records any girl could want. Cousins Dorothy, Peggy, and Wanda Lemons and my oldest sister Linda allowed us to sit on their beds and watch them dance and sing to the records of the great Everly Brothers, Elvis, Ricky Nelson, and many others. Their bedroom was really small, but we still managed to squeeze 8-9 kids in it, and had room to dance. My sisters Sandra and Rita and myself, envied them so much. We thought the older girls were so “cool.” A few years later, my cousins and sister Linda became interested in other things, such as boys (yuck). I remember one Christmas, Mama got us our own record player. We didn’t have the voices of the heartthrobs of the 50s ringing out of speaker, because we only had one record to play...Gene Autrey. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was the only record she bought, and we played it relentlessly, all year long. As we got older and began to earn a few cents a week, Mama would let us walk to town and buy a record. By that time, most people had record players and something much better--rock and roll on the radio! The transistor radio was the first boom box we had. It was about 3 inches by 4 inches and you could take it anywhere, and as long as you had batteries, you could listen to the latest hits outside. AM radio was all that was available, and if you turned it a certain way, you could pick up WNOX in Knoxville. That is, until 6 p.m. when WOWO out of Chicago began their nightly broadcast. It was a great station, but the sound faded in and out so much, it was almost impossible to listen to. Nowadays, technology has advanced so much, that kids don’t realize the pleasures and thrill we got out of listening to real music, and appreciated that we had a way to do it.
The lion used in the original MGM movie logo killed its trainer and two assistants the day after the logo was filmed.
Happy Birthday Fred Montgomery Jan. 3rd
The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.
January 2016
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Questions we never ask ourselves
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Forgive Me When I Whine
Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
Today upon a bus, I saw a lovely maid with golden hair; I envied her-she seemed so gay, and how I wished I were so fair; When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle; she had one foot and wore a crutch, but as she passed, a smile.
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
Oh God, forgive me when I whine, I have two feet-the world is mine.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
And when I stopped to buy some sweets, the lad who served me had such charm; he seemed to radiate good cheer, his manner was so kind and warm; I said, “It’s nice to deal with you, such courtesy I seldom find”; he turned and said, “Oh, thank you sir.” And then I saw that he was blind.
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person? Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God? Can animals commit suicide?
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine, I have two eyes, the world is mine.
Can bald men get lice?
Then, when walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue; Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) he stood and watched the others play it seemed he knew not what to do; if they have eaten someone who was drunk? I stopped a moment, then I said, “Why don’t you join the others, dear?” He looked ahead without a word, and then I knew he could not hear Can crop circles be square? Oh God, forgive me when I whine, I have two ears, the world is mine.
Can you cry under water?
With feet to take me where I’d go; with eyes to see the sunsets glow, with ears to hear what I would know. I am blessed indeed. The world is mine;
Can you daydream at night? Can you "stare off into space" when you're in space? Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them? Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms? Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space? Do bald people get Dandruff? Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar? Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies? Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves? Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on? Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David? Do prison buses have emergency exits? Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another? Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts? Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves? Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself? Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work? Do they bury people with their braces on? Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? Doesn't a lightning rod on top of a church show a lack of faith? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Fact Is... David McConnell started the California Perfume Company (CPC) in Lake Ontario was originally named Lake St. Louis. 1886. Today the company is known as Avon, which he named after Actor John Travolta was offered the role of Billy Flynn many times his favorite playwright William Shakespeare, and Stratford on Avon. for the movie "Chicago." Richard Gere ended up playing the role. Americans did not commonly use forks until after the Civil War. The Canadian province of New Brunswick had a bloodless war with Women are four times more likely to have foot problems than men the US state of Maine in 1839. In 1783, the hot air balloon was invented in France.
Attorneys: Hannah Tippett & William Allen FREE CONSULT No Fee Unless Approved for Benefits
There are more than 2,400 flea species in the world.
The Angel Falls in Venezuela were named after an American pilot, Ninety-nine percent of pumpkins sold in the United States are for Jimmy Angel, whose plane got stuck on top of the mountain while the sole purpose of decoration. searching for gold.
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The History of “APRONS”
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Bet You Didn’t Know...
I don't think our kids know what an apron is. The principle use of The most expensive perfume Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she in the world is Parfum VI. A 4 only...had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons inch bottle which is covered with than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it diamonds and 24-carat gold costs served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven. $71,380. It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was The Roman emperor Domitian even used for cleaning out dirty ears. took great pleasure in being From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, secluded in his room for hours fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the and catching flies and stabbing warming oven. them with pens. When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy Steve Fletcher holds the record kids.. for the largest gum wrapper And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her collection. His collection has arms. 5300 gum wrappers from all Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the across the world. hot wood stove. There are no blossoms on the Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that branches of a fig tree, instead it apron. is inside the fruit From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas The largest chicken egg ever had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. laid weighed a pound and had a In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from double yolk and shell. the trees. When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising Billiards used to be so popular how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds. at one time that cigarette cards were issued featuring players When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner. It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes. REMEMBER: Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw. They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron. I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love
Savannah “Rosie” Bowlin Jan. 6th
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January 2016
Entertainment Celebrities Real Names
Jamie Foxx - Eric Marlon Bishop Lady Gaga - Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta Tiger Woods - Eldrick Tont Woods Christie Brinkley - The supermodel and Billy Joel's ex was born Christie Lee Hudson. That still has a nice all-American girl ring to it. Reese Witherspoon - Once upon a time this Southern girl was known as Laura Jeanne. Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon, to be precise. Shania Twain - Born Eileen Regina Edwards, the Canadian country singer got the last name Twain from her stepfather. In the beginning of her career, she added Shania, a native Ojibwa word which means "on my way." Tina Fey - Elisabeth Stamatina Fey Oprah Winfrey - Oprah was named "Orpah" when she was born, but her name was often mispronounced and she was often mistaken called Oprah. The name eventually stuck. Barry Manilow - Manilow was Barry Alan Pincus before he started singing about "Mandy." He also wrote jingles for television and radio before making it big. Stevie Wonder - Stevland Hardaway Judkins Demi Moore - Demetria Gene Guynes Jodie Foster - Jodie's name may be a staple in Hollywood these days, but when it was first changed - when she was just a kid - it went through a few spelling changes before it stuck. Alicia Christian Foster was in "Gunsmoke" in 1969 as Jody Foster. Then in 1970s' "Daniel Boone" she was Jodi Foster. It has been spelled "Jodie" ever since. Miley Cyrus - Destiny Hope Cyrus Mel Brooks - The producer, writer and actor was born Melvin Kaminsky. But we'll always think of him as the 2,000-Year-Old-Man. Chuck Norris - The action star was known as Carlos Ray Norris. Chevy Chase - The comedian was named Cornelius Crane Chase after his adoptive grandfather. Chevy was a nickname bestowed by his grandmother. Ralph Lauren - Ralph Lifshitz Stevie Nicks - The Fleetwood Mac singer was born Stephanie Lynn Nicks. As a young child she had difficulty pronouncing her given name and often pronounced it as "tee-dee, and thus the nickname "Stevie" was born. Bob Dylan - Robert Allen Zimmerman Julie Andrews - Julie Andrews was originally Julia Elizabeth Wells before discovering that her biological father had the surname Andrews Whoopi Goldberg - Caryn Elaine Johnson Ozzy Osbourne - School friends used to call the Black Sabbath lead singer "John Ozzy" or "Oz Brain" due to his last name. Before long he stopped answering to his real name, John Michael Osbourne. David Copperfield - Before he became one of the most successful magicians in the world, David Copperfield was known as David Seth Kotkin. He got Copperfield from the Charles Dickens book of the same name. Elton John - Reginald Kenneth Dwight
If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.
January 2016
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How many U.S. states border the Gulf of Mexico?
What's the ballet term for a 360-degree turn on one foot? What did blind bank robber David Worrell use as a weapon when trying to rob a London bank? What Great Lake state has more shoreline than the entire U.S. Atlantic seaboard? What model appeared topless on the self-penned 1993 novel Pirate? Which country has more tractors per capita, Canada, Iceland or Japan? Who averaged one patent for every three weeks of his life? What Elton John album became the first album to enter the charts at Number One, in 1975? What laundry detergent got lots of mileage out of the ad line, "ring around the collar"? Who, after anchoring off Hawaii in 1779, was mistaken for the god Lono? What continent is cut into two fairly equal halves by the Tropic of Capricorn? What explorer introduced pigs to North America? What magazine boasts the slogan: "Test, Inform, Protect"? Who was billed as the "Killer of Custer" in Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show? What railway linked Moscow and Irkutsk in 1900? What is the minimum number of musicians a band must have to be considered a "big band"?
ANSWERS:
Five, Pirouette, His cane, Michigan, Fabio, Iceland, Thomas Edison, Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, Wisk, Captain James Cook, Australia, Christopher Columbus, Consumer Reports, Sitting Bull, The Trans-Siberian Railway, Ten.
Mental Health
Say What?
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news, he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because - since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry"
An elderly lady was concerned about her husband's hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him, he wouldn't respond. The lady went to the doctor to ask his advice. The doctor said: "When you go home, tell your husband to stand at the end of the hall, and you should stand at the other end. Ask him what he wants for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you until he responds to your question so you know exactly how far away he is from you when he finally hears you." She thought this was a great idea. When she got home, she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and yelled, "Herbert, what do you want for dinner?" There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer. Again she yelled, "Herbert, what do you want for dinner?" No response. She moved another 15 feet closer to where she was now practically face to face with her husband. She yelled even louder this time, "HERBERT, what do you want for dinner?!!" Herbert yells back at her, "For the THIRD time, I want chicken!!"
Cooter Brown lived on the Mason Dixon Line during the civil war. He was eligible for draft on either side and he had family on both sides, so he didn't want to fight for either side. Cooter Brown decided to stay drunk for the duration of the war so he would be useless for the military and not be drafted. From then on, he was a legendary drunkard and spawned the sayings, "drunker than. Cooter Brown." or "as drunk as Cooter Brown."
5 The Roane Reader
according to the almanac January 2016
Trivia Test
Who is Cooter Brown?
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Temperature 46.5 (1 below avg.) Precipitation 4" (1 below avg.) Jan 1-5: Rain and snow, then sunny, mild; Jan 6-13: Rain, then sunny, cold; Jan 14-18: Rain, then sunny, mild; Jan 19-23: Sunny; cold, then mild; Jan 24-27: Rain, then sunny, cold; Jan 28-31: Rainy periods, cool.
Best Days To....
Wean animals or children..............................5,27 Start projects......................................................11 Slaughter livestock......................................4,5,31 Set posts or pour concrete..........................8,9,10 Quit smoking...............................................5,27 Prune to encourage growth........................15,16 Prune to discourage growth......................6,7,25 Plant below ground crops...........................4,5,31 Plant above ground crops .................13,14,21,22 Have dental care..........................................26,27 Harvest below ground crops.....................8,26,27 Harvest above ground crops........................17,18 Destroy pests and weeds............................15,16 Cut Hay......................................................15,16 Cut hair to encourage growth......................17,18 Cut hair to discourage growth............1,2,3,28,29 Castrate animals...........................................11,12 Can, pickle, or make sauerkraut...............4,5,31 Breed animals.............................................4,5,31 Begin diet to lose weight...............................5,27 Begin diet to gain weight.............................13,28
January’s Birth Flower Carnation
January's flower is the carnation. It comes in several different colors to convey different meanings, much like roses. A pink carnation means affection, while a red carnation means 'I love you.' White carnations mean pure love, striped carnations means regret that a love is not shared, and yellow means rejection or disappointment.
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January 2016
Tribute: Submit your Memorials, Dedications or just lift up those you love - FREE A Fifth Letter to America by: Manuel Ybarra, Jr.
Approaching 70 and beyond! This is the good news:
The recent Islamic Terrorist attack in California brought out the usual reaction from American politi- 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. cians and others. Some immediately blamed guns and suggested more gun laws, ignoring the fact 2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run anywhere. that it is ungodly humans who pull the trigger. 4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?' When the perpetrators turned out to be Islamic, the question they wanted answered was, how did they 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. get radicalized? Like if they didn’t know! 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. Historians tell us that Prophet Mohammed respected both the Jewish and the Christians and that he 8. You can eat supper at 4 PM. told his followers to leave them alone (don’t try to convert them), because they already knew God. 9. You can live without sex, but not without your glasses. So obviously, He believed in the Living God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (Israel). 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. However, later things changed, so that now, The Koran (Qur’an), contains such things as, “Kill them 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. [the infidels, namely Christians and Jews] wherever you may come upon them, and seize them, and 12. You can quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. confine them, and lie in wait for them at every conceivable place.”-Sura 9:5 13. You can sing along with elevator music and no one will be So the Prophet’s love of the Living God has now been turned into hatred against God’s Chosen surprised. People, the Jews and Christians, and the rest of the world. Now the Muslim Brotherhood says, “Our 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. mission: world domination.” Some Muslim slogans are, “Death to America,” “Kill the Jews,” “Kill 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay the Unbelievers.” off. Yes America. Islam is serious when they say, “death to America.” To them it is death to everyone 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national who doesn’t follow their God. That is not exactly what the Living God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob weather service. 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't commanded. His commandments were, “Thou shall not kill,” and “Love thy neighbor.” remember them either. Sadly, God’s plan for salvation, through the forgiveness of Man’s sin, by the shedding of His precious 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size Son’s blood, has been rejected by Islam. Instead, they tell their followers the path to Heaven is by because at the root of every grey hair, there is a dead brain cell. killing those who do not believe in Allah, and that by doing so, 70 family members will win entrance AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: Never, to Heaven too. And some ask for a motive!! NEVER,NEVER, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and Lest we forget, America too has rejected God and His Word (Jesus Christ our Lord). a laxative on the same night!
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January 2016
Obituaries
Nov. 26th “Doug” Lloyd, 67, Rockwood Nov. 27th Clay T. Powell, 56, Rockwood Dec. 28th Wanda Daniels, 69, Ten Mile Nov. 29th Dudley Elmore, 62, Harriman Dec. 3rd Norman Kegley, 78, Kingston Edward Stiltner, 90, Oliver Spgs Dec. 4th Laura Frederick, 59, Kingston Dec. 6th Michael Ellison, 53, Harriman Marvin Brown, 56, Oliver Spgs Dec. 7th Roy L. Lawson, 85, Kingston “Jo Jo” Howard, 97, Rockwood Lois Seiber, 80, Oliver Spgs Dec. 8th Laura M. Baxter, 54, Harriman Carolyn Hoffman, 52, Kingston Joseph R. Sowers, 96, Kingston Dec. 9th (Bill) Scarbrough, Harriman James D. Hall, 74, Oliver Spgs Dec. 10th Virgil R. McCarter, 67, Loudon Billy Gene Cook, 76, Harriman Samuel Price,60, Oliver Spgs Dec. 12th Madeline Wallick, 94, Harriman Billie P. Jones, 87, Harriman
Dec. 13th David McLean, 74, Rockwood Dec. 15th Bobby Bear, 77, Rockwood “Jimmy” Payne, 80, Rockwood Betty R. Hawkins, 68, Harriman Dec. 16th Rickey R. Brown, 54, Harriman Jim Kerns, 68, Harriman Carl DeArmond, 75, Harriman Dec. 18th Glenn Gregory, 85, Harriman Dec. 19th Russell Mc Clain, 76, Harriman Dec. 20th Sophie Vass Simon, Kingston Denise Pratt, 50, Rockwood "Becky" Pride, 75, Oliver Spgs Dec. 21st Robert P. Neeley, 68, Harriman Dec. 22nd Ruby R. Smith, 78, Harriman J.C. Grove, 88, Midtown "Jim" D. Griggs, 73, Marlow Dec. 23rd Mike Ross, 64, Westel Dec. 27th “Bob” Cundiff, 81, Rockwood Dec. 28th “Gene” Lackey, 74, Oliver Spgs. Elsie Hawn Hill, Harriman
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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A moment in time…
I am fascinated by the knowledge that there is no time but NOW. Nothing we ever do can change one moment of the past and we can only conjecture how our actions of today will affect our tomorrows. Life is lived one moment at a time. Your consciousness of life is of the moment you’re in. The past is a memory that is really no more than a story about how we got to right now. Have you ever tried to remember a happy moment to cheer you up when you are sad? It’s difficult, isn’t it? If you are sad at this moment, you are consumed by the sadness. Only an event in the future, an event which you can long for, hope for and think will come can affect that sadness, and eventually, that event or some other one you do not foresee will come along and cheer you up–but of course, that’s a moment in the future…it is not NOW. No amount of past happiness can make up for the searing pain when a love affair breaks up or for the grief at the loss of a loved one. In fact, the memory of past happiness can sometimes make you feel sorry for yourself about the present dismal state you are in, making it seem even worse. As I wrote the above, I was trying to determine in my own mind if a past sadness could affect a present happiness. I suppose it could be possible to “think yourself sorry” but who would make the effort while they were in a state of elation? Happiness, especially singing happiness that floods through you on happy occasions, is the type of emotion that doesn’t lead to introspection. In my life, I have accepted the concept of living in the moment and I waste no effort in fighting it. Instead, I embrace the principle. If in this moment, I think you look wonderful–in this exact moment, I will tell you so. If I see that you are faltering in life, I will tell you what concerns me and hope that even if you become angry with me, it will somehow help turn you away from your folly and lead you to happier moments in the future. When I have done something wrong myself, I waste none of my precious moments in evasion. I confess to whomever I have done wrong and apologize. I try not to let that wrongdoing ruin any of my future moments by asking God’s forgiveness as well, right then and at any other moment when I am reminded of my failing. When you build a house, you have to know what you want the house to look like when you begin or it will be a crazy structure, so I do believe in planning. But as I build my life, I know the moments in it are the building blocks that make up the whole. If every moment is utilized for the good of God, I will end up with a good life—one moment at a time. Betty Killebrew
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Bible Quest
What offering did Gideon present to the Lord under the oak tree? On what island was Paul shipwrecked as he made his way to Rome? “An excellent wife” is a what to her husband?
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Bible Beat
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January 2016
You can play this online @
www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/C27WhoseSinsYouForgive.html
Whose Sins You Forgive, John 20:19-23 or John 14:15-16, 23-26
It is not always easy to forgive yourself and others. You may have to talk with God and ask him to help you look at things differently. You cannot expect everyone to be perfect…just like you want them to be. Others In which book of the Bible would you find the record of Balaam and cannot expect you to be just like they want you to be. Forgiveness melts anger. Pray and ask God to help you his donkey? forgive others as he forgives you. What are Psalms 120-134 collectively known as? Across To what tribe did Samson belong?
When Joseph was in prison, whose dream did he correctly interpret 2. belonging to him to mean he would be restored to his job? 9. left or right half 10. at bottom end of What is “sanctified by the word of God and prayer”?
In the parable of the good father, if a son asks for an egg, what arms 12. was really happy would the good father not give him?
13. in what place
Fearing that Saul wanted to kill him, what lie did David ask Jonathan to tell his father if asked why he wasn’t at the king’s table 16. drew air in and out of the lungs for the New Moon feast? (Jdg 6:19) (Acts 28:1) (Pro 12:4) (Jdg 13:25)
Bible Quest Answers (Num 22:22-35) (Ps 120 - 134) (Gen 42:32-36) (1 Tim 4:5)
(Luke 11:12) (1 Sam 20:6)
The Best Way to Pray A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby “Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said. “No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.” “You’re both wrong,” the guru said. “The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor.” The repairman could contain himself no longer. “Hey, fellas,” he interrupted. “The best prayin’ I ever did was when I was hangin’ upside down from a telephone pole.”
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19. exist 20. in the middle of 21. tool for cutting 24. cause to go 25. owns 28. period from late afternoon until dark 29. no longer blamed 30. kept 33. calmness 35. Hebrews 36. those people 37. fastened strongly Down 1. savior of mankind 3. was in a standing position 4. master 5. caused something to be delivered 6. used to be 7. get 8. of which person
Happy Birthday
Stanley Hammock Jan. 31st
865-376-3030
851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763
11. an act against God's will 13. amid 14. belong to them 15. dad 16. represent 17. followers of Christ 18. used to own 22. at the same time that 23. time lasting 7 days and nights
26. living force within a person 27. proved 29. opposite of last 31. objective case of they 32. period of time lasting 24 hours 34. arrived at a place
The board meeting
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service. The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger. “You misunderstood, this is for board members,” the pastor said. “I know, but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, then I’d like to meet him.”
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January 2016
You can play this online @
www.joanyedwards.com/wordsearch/C27WhoseSinsYouForgive.html
Whose Sins You Forgive, John 20:19-23 or John 14:15-16, 23-26 Jesus gave the power to forgive sins to his Apostles. The Apostles were the first priests of the church. You have the power to decide if you are going to forgive someone for what they did wrong. Carrying around hatred and anger is like carrying a huge rock around your neck all day long. It makes you sick. It weakens your bones. Forgive others as God has forgiven you. You will feel better. N I S T H T A H T W V L W F T I W I D O
A E V E N I N G B S D R O L S O S O O T
H A A Y D N S H Y S R I T E R R C M T D D G R D P D D H S H R R Y O N N S I I O again are be breathed came day disciples doors evening father fear first
H I O E R A T S R I F C G W W E W O O S
A L C I T W W E V S D F S E O J E A D I
Y N A D S D P E O H N O S T O D S O N N D E W H S E R J A Y E D S S H W U T E S H E W N K O I C Y W H E D H H N H T T H forgiven had hands has his holy Jesus Jews locked lord midst peace
D E F Y O E D S T A P N W N E E T U A E
T Y A E D R E C E I V E E A S D A S N S
T D H D W L T H E R E W N R E G E C N I A S M E E I P N A H W T R E S S S H E H B Y Y E S R T I R C H J S W D S E O H W receive rejoiced retained said saw send sent showed side sins spirit stood
A I R D N C T L S U D D E W O H S E T A
D D N I I H E R O T A D S T E W J J M R
D T A I G D A H S S A N D T J T D R R O W Y E A E D H C E R N K I T S E A E H E L T S P H S I R O C D H S R N I E E D P that their them they week were when where whose with you
“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.�
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Bible Beat
The Front Row
The friendly usher at the country church greeted the elderly woman visitor at the door and helped her up the steps. “Where would you like to sit?� he asked politely. “The front row, please,� she answered. “You really don’t want to do that,� the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.� “Do you happen to know who I am?� the woman inquired. “No,� he said. “I’m the pastor’s mother,� she replied indignantly. “Do you know who I am?� he asked. “No,� she said. “Good,� he answered.
Happy Birthday
Haylee Wells Jan. 25th
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9 The Roane Reader
Bible Trivia
Who did Paul take with him on his first missionary journey? Jesus initially sent the twelve disciples to preach to which group of people? Where will the believers reign in the Kingdom of God? Who did Joseph’s brothers sell him to? Who shall the “prayer of faith� save? Where did Delilah live? Who was Paul referring to when he said, “May the Lord grant mercy to his household, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains�? agreement with the kinsman? According to Job, what is the hope of “a tree that is cut down�? What should the Israelites not destroy when they besiege a city?
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.� —George Burns
Trivia Answers
Barnabas (Acts 13:4) House of Israel (Matt 10:5-6) On Earth (Rev 5:10) Ishmaelites (Gen 37:28) The sick (Jam 5:15) Valley of Sorek (Jdg 16:4) Onesiphorus (2 Tim 1:16) Ten (Ruth 4:2) It will sprout again (Job 14:7) Trees for meat (Deut 20:19-20)
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Enjoy life to the fullest at Rockwood Village!
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January 2016
Apologies to all you grandchildren from us grandparents We treasure you all, and want more than anything for you to succeed in your life choices. As Americans, your opportunities for happiness are unlimited. At least they were. My generation made a mess of things. (Except for Grandma! She was too busy skydiving.) So I write this to apologize for the America we now pass on to you, and to give you some guidance on how to undo our mistakes, giving your grandchildren a country that truly supports peace, justice, and opportunity for all. As you grow up, study well world and US history. You'll learn that the US of the 1940s and 1950s in which your grandmother and I were raised was a more caring place. Few of us had much money, but jobs were plentiful. Most of us owned our own homes. As a rule, moms weren't forced to work outside the house; raising the kids was Job One. We had little crime. It sounds odd today, but when Grandma and I grew up, most of us honestly cared about one another. If our neighbor got down on her luck, everyone pitched in. We knew she'd do the same for us. Back then — this is the honest-to-God truth — we believed in our government. Really! We'd just experienced a Great Depression and a Great War. We saw the government save millions of us from homelessness and starvation. Newly created government agencies actually protected us from bad food, dangerous medicine, and hazardous working conditions. Firm, sober financial regulators protected us from white-colored crooks and slick Ponziests. These public servants took their jobs seriously. What happened? BLINDED BY GREED We got greedy. As we acquired stuff, that stuff — even its acquisition — became more important than relationships, seemingly more important than even the quality of air we breathed and water we drank. In the name of Capitalism we would suck the planet dry. As Nikita Kruschev reminded Eisenhower 50 years ago, "You will make and sell us the rope with which to hang you." Profits were more important than people. We forgot that this Earth is only borrowed from your generation, Rachael and Jesse, and is not ours to plunder. Finally, we denied a birthright, an obligation embedded deep in our hearts when we were your age: to be fair with one another and the rest of the world. "Screw you; I got mine!" was too often the motto of the day. Our governments got greedy too. Today, lawmakers in Washington often take money in return for laws favoring narrow moneyed interests, laws that frequently hurt folks like us. Hurt the country, too. These days we see it all around us. Have you learned in civics class (You do still have to take Civics, don't you?) that only about half of us citizens bother to vote anymore? Quite unlike France, for example, US politicians running government no longer fear us and our precious vote. (And, unlike the French, we seldom hold street riots burning these traitors in effigy.) Congress has succeeded in establishing partnerships with the corporate world where the guy with the most money always wins, where the business of the day is to write law that keeps profits and top salaries high, costs, including your parent's daily wages, low. Blatantly they conduct their corrupt business with the corporatocracy. Back in WWII, we called people like this "Fascists. You know, an authoritarian nationalist political view with a corporatist economic ideology. Call them what you will, they don't care about you anymore. It's easy to understand why. What To Do About It? Yes, my generation has made a mess of it. But here's something you can do about it. First, know that this great country of ours is indeed yours, not the government's, not the corporations'. Yours! That includes our natural resources, schools, armies, treasury, police, airwaves, and laws. There comes a time when citizens must claim what's rightly theirs. • Read "The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies." That was such a time. Then read the US Constitution. It begins with these words: We the People of the United States… [to] establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. • Pay special attention to the first 15 Amendments. Ask someone you trust why they are so important. Read George Orwell's 1984. Learn how government hijacks language, turning it against freedom and fairness. Read Jesus’ teachings in The New Testament. Beware those who would interpret for you. Read for yourself. His teachings of love, surrender, and forgiveness are revolutionary still — ideas some Christians prefer that you ignore. If America is ever to find its way back to equality, justice, and the idea of commonwealth, that way is shown here, founded on love, not of money, but of each other. Look to Canada, Europe, New Zealand, Australia and elsewhere to learn how others use government for the benefit of all, especially the desperate, the destitute, and the despaired. Take what works, leave the rest. Always keep an open mind. Above all, look to your own conscience to know what's fair, and fight for it with all your might. You can heat an entire room with this Terracotta pot turned space
heater. You need a clay pot, some large bricks, and some candles. A good thing to know in case the power goes out this winter.
Never fear. It's your country, and it's a great place. Take it back.
DON’T WAIT FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT, TAKE THE MOMENT AND MAKE IT PERFECT.
JIM HENRY & ASSOCIATES
(865) 376-2121 Office (865) 740-2440 Mobile (866) 461-0593 Fax cherylsellshouses@gmail.com
CHERYL LAXTON Broker Associate
410 N. Kentucky St Kingston, TN 37763 www.cherylsellinghouses.com Each Office Is Independently Owned and Operated.
Happy Birthday Bobby Shillings Jan. 25th
Phone: 865-882-9340
January 2016
Little Unknown Facts
Rice flour was used to strengthen some of the bricks that make up the Great Wall of China Research has indicated that a tie that is on too tight can increase the risk of glaucoma in men Each year all of the Hostess bakeries combined bake 500 million Twinkies a year. (A Twinkie is a sponge cake with a creamy filling.) Charlie Chaplin once lost a contest for a Charlie Chaplin look a like Pluto is the only planet in our solar system that has not been visited by a spacecraft The worlds tallest free fall roller coaster is The Giant Drop located in Australia. The drops is 120 meters which is equivalent to a 39 story building
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11 The Roane Reader
The Doctor’s Visit
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. Happy Birthday Dianne Branham Jan. 4th
A woman went to a doctors' office and was seen by one of the new doctors. But after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the problem was, and when she explained, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, 'What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?? The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. 'Cured her hiccups though, didn't I?"
Stalks of sugar cane can reach up to 30 feet The markings that are found on dice are called "pips." Joseph Gayetty is credited for inventing toilet paper in 1857. Unfortunately, his invention failed and did not catch on until ten years later A newly hatched fish is called a "fry." The music band UB40 got its name from an unemployment form in England The Olympic Flame was introduced in 1928 in Amsterdam The YKK on the zipper of your Levis stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the worlds largest zipper manufacturer Armadillos can be housebroken
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12 The Roane Reader
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January 2016
Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes
Household Hints Pull bananas apart before displaying them in your fruit bowl. If you leave them connected at the stem, they’ll ripen faster and go brown quicker. Who knew?! To suck up hard-to-reach gunk under your fridge, or behind a bookshelf, insert an empty paper towel roll into the end of your vacuum cleaner and bend, or flatten it, to squeeze into these difficult spots. We’re not sure why, but a capsicum with three bumps on the bottom is sweeter than one with four. Oh, but four bumps makes for a crunchier, firmer capsicum, so you should weigh up crunch vs. sweet when picking out your pepper! Instead of tossing your daily rag in the recycling bin, use the newspaper as mulch and deter noxious weeds. Simply wet the sheets and put the layers around your plants and garden beds, covering with soil as you go. The weeds won’t be able to get through the wet newspaper layers. Wrap cheese chunks in aluminum foil and store in the fridge to keep your cheddar fresher for longer and to keep mold out. If you have the kind of blood that attracts mosquitoes like a moth to a flame, then listen up. To keep the pesky blood suckers at bay, place a fabric softener dryer sheet in your pocket. Mosquitoes are repelled by the scent and you’ll smell like summer breeze all night! To reheat a pizza so that the base is out-of-the-oven crisp, heat your leftover slices in a fry pan on low-medium heat on the stove until warm and wave goodbye to the days of soggy microwave pizza. If you seal an envelope and realize you’ve forgotten to include something inside, just place it in the freezer for an hour or two and voila, the envelope will unseal without a trace! Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a subtle taste and towards the end to blast it with flavor. It may sound cruel, but if you have an ant problem, desperate times call for desperate measures. Put small piles of polenta where you see ants and they’ll gobble it up, return ‘home’ and won’t be able to digest it. Your ant problem (and the ants) will soon be dead.
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HATTIE SHILLINGS
Hoosier Chili
1 pound ground beef 1 medium onion, chopped 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes 1 tablespoon ground cumin 2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed tomato soup 2 (14.5 ounce) cans chicken broth
1 (14.5 ounce) can crushed tomatoes 5 tablespoons chili powder 1 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 teaspoon salt 2 (15.5 ounce) cans pinto beans, drained cayenne pepper to taste
Crumble the ground beef into a soup pot over medium-high heat. Cook and stir until evenly browned. Drain off most of the grease. Add onion, red pepper flakes, and half of the cumin; cook and stir until onion is tender. Pour in the tomato soup, chicken broth, and crushed tomatoes. Season with chili powder, salt and pepper. Simmer for 30 minutes. Pour in the beans, and season with remaining cumin and cayenne pepper; simmer for another 30 minutes.
Original All American Chili 1 pound lean ground beef 2 tablespoons Chili Powder 2 tablespoons Onions, Minced 1 teaspoon sugar, (optional)
1/4 teaspoon Garlic Salt 1 can (15 oz.) red kidney beans, undrained 1 can (8 ounces) tomato sauce 1 tablespoon white vinegar
Cook ground beef in large skillet on medium heat 5 minutes or until cooked through, stirring frequently. Drain, if needed. Stir in spices and remaining ingredients; mix well. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to low; cover and simmer 15 to 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve topped with sliced green onions, sour cream and shredded cheddar cheese, if desired.
Tortilla Chicken Chili 1 tablespoon oil 1 package Chili Seasoning Mix, 1 can (14 1/2 oz.) tomatoes, undrained 1 can (15-16 oz.) kidney beans, undrained 1 can (11 oz.) Mexican-style corn, drained
1/2 cup water 1 1/2 cups bite-size tortilla chips 1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast halves, cut into 3/4-inch cubes
Heat oil in large nonstick skillet on medium-high heat. Add chicken; cook and stir 5 minutes or until lightly browned. Stir in Seasoning Mix, tomatoes, beans, corn, water and tortilla chips. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to low; cover and simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Top with desired toppings.
Slow Cooker Veggie Chili
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No-Stick Cooking Spray 1 can (14.5 oz) Tomatoes with Garlic, undrained 1 can (8 oz each) Tomato Sauce-No Salt Added 1 can (15 oz each) Ranch Style Beans, undrained 1 can (15 oz each) Red Kidney Beans, drained, rinsed 1 small yellow onion, chopped
1 medium green bell pepper, chopped 1 cup frozen whole kernel corn 2 medium carrots, sliced 1 tablespoon Gebhardt® Chili Powder 1/2 teaspoon ground red pepper
Spray inside of 4-quart slow cooker with cooking spray. Place remaining ingredients in slow cooker; stir to combine. Cover; cook on HIGH 1-1/2 to 2 hours or on LOW 3 to 4 hours.
NOTICE
Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences.
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January 2016
Clean the Bathroom In 15 Minutes
Bathrooms need to be cleaned often. And unlike other rooms in your home, they cannot be just “picked up” and still be considered clean. This 15-minute bathroom cleanup allows you to maintain the cleanliness of the bathroom without spending hours scrubbing and disinfecting. This guide can offer help to teach your children the requirements of a clean bathroom without laboring all day. 1. Grab all the necessary supplies Having the supplies all together at the beginning of the job is essential to avoiding distractions. Running downstairs to grab the broom, might make you wonder if the mail has come yet. When you check the mail you decide to file some of it. A letter reminds you to call a family member. Before you know it the bathroom is the last thing on your mind. Stay focused on one specific task at a time. 2. Pick up all of the dirty clothing and put it inside a hamper. Don't worry about anything except the dirty clothes. Don't interrupt your clothes gathering mission by throwing away trash or putting away bottles of shampoo. Only worry about the dirty clothing. Don't bother trying to turn socks right side out or unfold pant legs. Just throw it all in the hamper or basket. 3. Toss all of the trash into the trash can. Again focus only on the obvious trash. 4. Use disinfectant wipes to clean the sink and tub area. The goal is to get the sink and tub presentable. Casually wipe down the tub. You may need to spend more time on the sink. Wear disposable gloves to protect your skin and help you clean without worrying about what you touch. 5. Using a toilet brush and toilet cleaner, briefly scrub out the inside of the toilet. Again this is not a full out scrubbing of the toilet. We are maintaining from the last time we scrubbed, or quickly getting it presentable enough for unexpected guests. 6. Using a disinfectant wipe, wipe down the outside of the toilet. Using the wipe it won't take long to briefly run over the outer surface of the toilet. You can quickly wipe away the most obvious dirt. 7. Using glass cleaner or vinegar, wipe down the mirror. I like to put a little time into this task even when I'm in a hurry. Guests will probably spend the most time examining themselves in your mirror. They will inevitably notice dinginess and streaks. 8. Pickup all the items belonging in another room. Put them in a basket, box, or bag. 9. Return items that belong in the bathroom to their proper places. Don't take time to reorganize the medicine or linen cabinets. Just place the items back where they belong. Leave organizing for when you have more time. 10. Sweep or mop. Briefly sweep the floor. Worry about the main traffic area. If you have a Swiffer, Readymop, or something similar, it can take just a few seconds to mop. 11. Put away your supplies. Don't forget to take 3 seconds to marvel at your efficiency.
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Penny Pinchers Roach Patrol - Mix equal parts of boric acid powder and sugar, cornmeal or flour. Pour this mixture into lids or small open containers and place in the areas, such as behind the refrigerator or backs of cabinets in the pantry, or underneath the kitchen sink, but NOT on kitchen or bathroom counters or floors! You also can put this mixture into an empty catsup squeeze bottle and “poof” the mixture into hard-to-reach corners or cracks. Keep this away from pets and small children. Preserve fresh herbs without drying – Fill an ice cube tray with water, oil, or stock. Add chopped herbs and freeze. When you’re ready to use them, simply pop out as many cubes as you need and thaw them out. Thinly slice meat with zero fuss. – Freeze the meat so that the outside is firm before you start slicing. This will keep your thin cuts nice and neat. You can cut your costs of dish detergent--without cutting their cleaning power--by diluting them. Save an empty bottle of dish detergent, and when you buy a new one, pour one half of the detergent into the old bottle. Fill both with water. Rotate several times to mix. (Don't shake because shaking creates lots of soap bubbles, which will leave little room for water and detergent to mix. Then, if you open the bottle quickly after shaking, the bubbles will spill out just like a soda bottle that has been dropped or shaken.) You'll end up with twice as much detergent by diluting the original product. It may not be as bubbly, but it's not the bubbles that do the cleaning. Those bubbles are mainly there to give you the illusion that the detergent is doing its job. To boost the power of your detergent when you're washing greasy dishes and pans by hand, add 1/4 to 1/2 cup white vinegar to the dishwater. Instead of buying an expensive all color bleach product, try adding either 1/2 cup of white vinegar or 1/2 cup baking soda to the wash load. Either one will help clean and brighten clothes--and both are priced right. To cut down on pilling, wash synthetic fibers separately from terry cloth and other fabrics that tend to rub. When possible, line-dry items that are likely to pill. Wash your delicate clothes in a pillow case instead of buying a special lingerie bag. Place the clothes in the pillow case (an old, thin one works best), and tie a knot in the end. Running your washing machine on the delicate setting or the shortest wash cycle. To eliminate static electricity, add 1 tablespoon white vinegar to the final rinse waster if you choose not to use fabric softener. Remove smells from microwave. Teacup three parts water to one part lemon juice or vinegar, cook eight to ten minutes, wipe oven dry. Cold sores. They heal faster and cause less pain when treated topically with Pepto Bismol or another bismuth-containing antacid. Use a cotton ball to dab the liquid onto the sore every four hours. Use Krazy Glue to repair a broken fingernail. Use a small drop to secure the nail in place, then coat with nail polish. Remove scuff marks from floors. Simply use an eraser.
Money Saver
Most laundry detergents are highly concentrated. Experiment with the brand that you use. Many times you can use about 1/2 to 3/4 of the recommended amount and still get your clothes just as clean. If you have an extra large capacity washer or very hard water, you may need to use little extra detergent to get clothes clean. If you use a powdered detergent that comes with a measuring scoop, make sure you are not using more than the recommended amount. Some scoops are made to fill all the way to the top, while others have a "fill to" line much lower. Don't use more detergent than you need.
There are 10 million bacteria at the place where you rest your hands at a desk
Happy Birthday
Linda Stooksbury Jan. 2nd
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The smartest kid in the class rarely becomes rich and famous. A degree I would strongly advise anyone against getting is an MBA, which has, regrettably, become a very fashionable degree. In some fields of employment, if anyone applies for a job, an MBA is considered a strike against them. They'd have to come up with Bob Tonachio a really good explanation for why they spent all that money and two years of extra time to get something that serves no useful purpose. It's amazing, when you stop and think about it. The professors who teach MBA courses are not successful business people out making millions in the economy: they're academics! Successful business people with proven track records wouldn't work for their wages. Most of these academics have no hands-on experience and are teaching theories, most of which are based on completely phony and fallacious economics. Don't get conned into this gross misallocation of time and money. An MBA is worse than useless. Only a fool would rather have one than the $100,000, the lost income, and the two years of lost time and experience it costs. The class clowns who make it big are oftentimes the most unhinged, the trappings of material wealth notwithstanding. And understanding how you can apply this mental model can spell the difference between your investment success — and utter disaster. 1. Don’t Confuse Luck with Smarts…The role of luck in investment success is deceptively subtle. You may think that investing $10,000 into one stock that makes you $1 million would be the best thing that could ever happen to you. But you’d be wrong. Having enjoyed such phenomenal success, you’d suddenly think that you’d cracked the code of the markets. The next time around, you bet your house, your car and your life savings on another “can’t lose” investment. Maybe you’d win this time as well. You calculate that if you do it only one more time, you’d have $100 million in the bank. Eventually, however, your luck runs out. Your last investment flops. And since you bet the farm, you not only lost your shirt but also you’re deeply in debt. As a wise man, my uncle Jerry, once said, “If you win a million dollars, you’d best become a millionaire. Because then you get to keep the money.” The lesson? Understand that if you have ever won a big investment bet, you were at least as lucky as you were smart. But over the long term, there are no shortcuts. Making money on a consistent basis is a grind that is one part “insight” and ten parts “discipline.” 2. Your Analysis Is Irrelevant to Your Investment Success The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once observed that “any explanation is better than none” I disagree. Sometimes, in the investment world, no explanation is really necessary — or relevant. Today, we suffer from the paradox of information overload. If you have a smartphone in your pocket, you can access more information about the financial markets than the world’s top hedge funds did 20 years ago. Yet, I bet your investment returns have not improved one iota as a result. Not only do we seem incapable of divining the future, we can’t even seem to agree on what happened. Was the credit crunch a result of Greenspan’s monetary policy, Bernanke’s incompetence or President Clinton’s “affirmative action” for low-income borrowers? Or was it just a classic mania? We crave explanations because they give us an illusion of control. But it gets even worse. Even those Cassandras who got their analysis “right” in predicting the credit crunch weren’t able to turn their accurate insights into money for their clients. And truth be told, time hasn’t been kind to their predictions either. Gold didn’t hit $6,000 an ounce. The U.S. dollar didn’t crash. Treasuries didn’t collapse. Advisors who promised to “crash-proof” their clients’ portfolios ended up losing more money for their clients than if they had recommended, simple guaranteed absolute return type products. The lesson? Successful investors are effective in the long term because they admit their mistakes. As the world’s greatest speculator, George Soros, said, “My system doesn’t work by making valid predictions. It works by allowing me to recognize when I am wrong.” Your ‘Intelligence’ could be Your Biggest Handicap… Warren Buffett famously observed that it takes no more than average intelligence to become a successful investor, I’d add something to that…I’d say high intelligence is actually a handicap to successful investing. If high intelligence were the key to successful investing, top business school professors and economists would be the wealthiest guys on the planet. Instead, the Forbes 400 is populated by dropouts from places like Harvard… Bill Gates $56 Billion and Stanford, Larry Ellison Founder of Oracle $39.5 Billion, Sheldon Adelson $23.3 Billion, Michael Dell $14.6 Billion, Paul Allen $13.6 Billion, Paul Zuckerberg $13.5 Billion, Steve Jobs $8.3 Billion, Jack C. Taylor $7,4 Billion, Mickey Arison $5.9 Billion, Ralph Lauren $5.8 Billion, David Geffin $5.1Bilion. None could have gotten a job on Wall Street, let alone taught at a top business school. Perhaps that’s also why a former dean of Harvard College, Henry Rosovsky, observed about Harvard students: “Our A students become professors. Our B students go to law school. Our C students rule the world”. Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates. He may be contacted at 1-800-530-5700. He will be conducting a free dinner seminar, “Increase Income, Reduce Taxes & Build Wealth” on January 12th at the Legends in Druid Hills Country Club 5:30 pm. And will repeat at Shoney’s in Harriman, TN on January 19th at 5:30. Seating is limited… Call Kimberly to reserve your seats…1-800-530-5700
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January 2016
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January 2016
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Diet Facts
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15 The Roane Reader
5 Helpful Hints for Driving in Winter Weather
A diet is a weigh of life. With cold weather comes the need to be extra careful on the road. Snow and ice on roads and reduced It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, visibility from winter precipitation make driving potentially hazardous. Brush up on these winter driving it's the seconds. safety tips to avoid trouble. 1. Watch the weather. One way that drivers can limit their winter travel risk is to plan trips for relatively It's something most of us do religiously: We eat what we good weather. Stay up to date on changing weather and traffic reports to anticipate and avoid stormy want and pray we don't gain weight. roadways. The problem with curbing our appetites is that most of us 2. Slow down. A little more caution makes a big difference when roads are slick. Slowing down by 5 mph or more will help limit your potential for damage in a collision. Keeping more car lengths between do it at the drive in window of McDonalds. vehicles gives you more time for any sudden stops, too. The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae 3. Know your extra features. The biggest example is anti-lock brakes. Where tapping brakes works for is a spoon. controlling skid in traditional braking, pumping ABS can be dangerous. Road safety experts advise that The biggest drawback to fasting for seven days is that it makes anti-lock brakes and other features are no substitute for safe stopping distances and reasonable speeds. Some experts also warn against using cruise control on slick roads. one weak. 4. Condition your vehicle for winter. If your state allows it, install tire chains or tire studs to add traction. Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends. No matter what state you're in, it's a good idea to keep tires at proper inflation. Also, be sure to remove Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it. troublesome ice from your windshield and windows, and big drifts of snow from the hood and roof. The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching 5. Stock a winter emergency kit. In case you have to pull over during a storm, be prepared with a winter emergency kit. Recommended items include: flashlight and batteries, hand-warmers, blankets, drinking what other people eat. water, shovel and ice scraper, jumper cables, and emergency lights or flares. Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure but These helpful tips can assist drivers in keeping themselves and others safe this winter. doubled it. Winter hints A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width. 1. Put some kitchen foil behind your radiators to reflect heat back into your rooms. 2. Keep blinds and curtains closed to make sure you don't lose warmth through the windows. Many women reduce and reduce, yet still never manage to become 3. Be prepared for a power cut - with candles, matches and torches to hand. Don't forget to check the a bargain. batteries! 4. Ordinary household salt and warm water will unblock a frozen drain - fast. The best way to lose weight is by skipping ... snacks and desert. 5. Keeping the hatch to your attic ajar will stop overhead pipes and tanks freezing. Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two...alone. 6. Protect your indoor pipes when you're out - keep the central heat on low, and leave internal doors People go to Weight Watchers to learn their lessens. open. A diet is the modern-day meal in which a family counts its calories 7. Going away? Shut off the outside taps and drain any standing water to avoid outside pipes bursting. 8. Trapped air can cause noisy gurgles in the central heating system. You can solve this by bleeding the instead of its blessings. radiators. A diet is what you go on when not only can't you fit into the store's 9. No hot water? There are a few simple checks you can carry out: ◦ Check the boiler to see if the pilot light is lit. To re-light it, follow the instructions in the manual dresses, you can't fit into the dressing room. or on the side of the boiler. One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: If you're thin, don't ◦ Make sure there's power going to the boiler by checking all switches are on. eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat - FAST. ◦ Try a new fuse in the plug. Also, check the hot water thermostat is on, and set high enough. ◦ If you're still faced with cold water, it's time to call in a professional. Above all, dieters are advised to avoid Pepsi, "the pause that reflesh10. Ahead of the freeze, put a tennis ball in a fish pond - then remove it to let oxygen into the water. es." 11. Cat litter makes a great alternative to salt for clearing ice off your paths - and unlike salt, it won't Pills & Water kill your plants. Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get If you are ever in doubt, particularly with your heating, call a specialist to help you. up. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water." Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?" SHERRY TIPTON Doctor: "You're not drinking enough water." Realtor
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16 The Roane Reader
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Ouch!
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off. Written in large black letters was the sentence. "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
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241 S. Chamberlain Ave. | Rockwood
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January 2016
TIPS FOR WOMEN TO STAY SAFE Please take the time to read this. I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "Hmmm, I must remember that". 1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! 2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! 3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives. 4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. 5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.) 6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot). 7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN! 8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it
January 2016
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Our Government
Removing Your Christmas Tree
by Jeff Foxworthy
If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots WE DO LIVE IN SUCH A DUMB COUNTRY!! If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. THINK BEFORE YOU VOTE IN ALL UPCOMING ELECTIONS. MOST OF THE IDIOTS RUNNING THIS COUNTRY SAY ONE THING AND DO THE OPPOSITE KNOWING THAT THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED THEM IN DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY DO BUT ONLY WHAT THEY SAY.
17 The Roane Reader
The best way to avoid a mess removing your Christmas tree is to place a plastic tree bag (available at hardware stores) underneath the stand when you set the tree up. You can hide it with a tree skirt. Then, when the holidays are done, pull the bag up around the tree, stand and all, and carry it outside. Obviously, you will want to remove the stand before recycling the tree. If some needles do scatter inside, it is better to sweep them up; as needles can clog vacuum cleaners.
The Toothache
The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear that he didn't want to spend a lot of money. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?" Mr. Smith turned to his wife... "Show him your tooth, honey!"
New Years Eve
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On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
Happy Birthday
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“Earth teach me to forget myself as melted snow forgets its life. Earth teach me resignation as the leaves which die in the fall. Earth teach me courage as the tree which stands all alone. Earth teach me regeneration as the seed which rises in the spring.” - William Alexander
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18 The Roane Reader
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The Roane Reader proudly presents I Threw it Out
THE WRITER'S PAGE
by: Judy M. Reid
Last week I threw it out worrying, it was getting old and in the way It kept me from being me, I couldn’t do things my way I threw it out those inhibitions, they were just crowding me out Made room for my new growth, got rid of my old dreams and doubts I threw out a book of my past, didn’t have time to read it anyway Replaced it with new goals, started reading it today I threw out childhood toys, remember how I treasured them so? Got me a new philosophy too, threw out the one from long ago. Bought in some new books too, called I can, I will, and I must Threw out I might, I think, I ought. Wow, you should have seen the dust I ran across an old friend, haven’t seen him in a while. I believe His name is God. Yes, I really like His style He helped me to do some cleaning and added some thing’s himself. Like, prayer, hope, and faith, yes I placed them right on the shelf I picked up this special thing and placed it at the front door I found it, its called peace. Nothing gets me down anymore Yes, I’ve got my house looking nice. Looks good around the place For things like worry and trouble there just isn’t any space It’s good to do a little house cleaning, get rid of the old things, on the shelf. It sure does make things brighter; maybe you should try it yourself.
Dreams by: Nina Powers A door to a world Few have ever seen A path to twilight A place to dream A step upward A step unforeseen A world not of mere mortals A world rarely seen A world of dragons Dinning on moonbeams A place of life Which awaits like a dream A place with soft breezes blowing As a million birds sing A place with music softly flowing On a summer’s breeze If you only choose to dream
Words of Wisdom by: Elsie Wyrick
What have you done with Jesus? Do you remember where you left Him? Do you remember the people or things that took the place of Jesus in your heart and mind? Do you know that there is a hell and a heaven? Do you avoid reading God’s holy word in an attempt to excuse your self from knowing your sins? Well, that won’t work for God knows all about you and all of us will stand before Him at judgment! I ask you again- what have you done with Jesus? Why don’t you seek Him before it’s to late!
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January 2016
NO, GOD
Psalms 53:1 by: Katie Bailey Randolph If you choose to go to hell, then you will know quite well... In that place, there is no God. No One to bring a smile or claim you for His child For in hell, there is no God. No One to dry your tears, no One to calm your fears For in hell, there is no God. No One whose face has shined on you from time to time trying to change your mind For in hell, there is no God. No One again to tell, "I am that living well", but you chose hell Where there is no God. No One to show you the Lamb or ever the Great I am For in hell, there is no God. No One to say again how much you meant to Him For in hell, there is no God. No One to plead again to turn you from your sin for in hell, there is no God. Oh sinner, turn from your wicked way, for the time for salvation is Today! Don't continue on the road you've trod for remember... in hell, there is no God!
Benefits in Jesus by: Clara Miles
While serving the Lord we shall reap heavens reward. There is joy, peace, and love that God sends down from His heavenly dove. There is also health and prosperity God will send down to us throughout eternity. You must put Him first. Where you will never want for thirst. We delight ourselves in Him He will gives the desires of our heart. Where we will have our part.
January 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
NewYear’s Resolutions A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper. My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions. I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year! If 2015 was a person, I'd sue for pain and suffering and lost wages. This New Year's I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess. People treat New Year's like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it's probably still going to suck tomorrow. I'll remember 2015 like it was yesterday Dear Luck, .....can we be friends in 2016 Please? May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions. Dear God, my prayer for 2016 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. Please don't mix it up like you did this year. Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve. DIGNITY is not one of them. Every year I make a resolution to change myself....... this year making a resolution to be myself! My New Years Resolution is to break my New Years Resolutions....That way I succeed at something! Keep the smile, Leave the tear, Hold the laugh, Leave the pain, Think of joy, Forget the fear. New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar. People think New Years is a life changing event. If your life sucked last year, it's probably still going to suck tomorrow. May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions.
To make an appointment, contact your child’s doctor or health department. For transportation or other information, call the Family Assistance Service Center at: 1-866-311-4287 En Espanol: 1-866-311-4290 The TENNderCare program wants children, teens, and young adults under 21 to be healthy. TENNderCare is a full program of checkups and health care The TENNderCare program wants children, teens, and services for children who have TennCare. These services make sure babies, young adults 21 to be the healthy. children, teens and under young adults receive health careTENNderCare they need. Good is ahealth fullbegins program health care at birth,of so checkups it’s important and to Check In, Check Up services and Check for Back with your doctor. YourTennCare. child's check upThese will include: children who have services make sure
babies, children, teens • Complete Physical Examand young adults • Labreceive Tests the health care theyScreening need. Good health begins at birth, so • Vision/Hearing • Immunizations it’s important to&Check In,Screening Check Up •and Check • Developmental Behavioral Health HistoryBack • Advice on How To Keep Your Child Healthy with your doctor.
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Resolutions I Cannot Keep When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!" Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes I will try to figure out why I "really" need 5 facebook accounts. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own. Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym! I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. Spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year. Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again. I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I'm not in them I will think of a password other than "password"
Psychotherapy
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble. "Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll just have to be a little boulder!"
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
Happy Birthday
State Senator
Ken Yager Jan 5th
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19 The Roane Reader
New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep Read less. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store Stop exercising. Waste of time. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. Watch less T.V. in standard definition Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser. Watch more movie remakes. Start washing my hands after I use the restroom. Procrastinate more. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future. Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials Start being superstitious. Spend more time at work. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
The New Hospital Wing A panel of doctors at a local hospital who were asked to vote on adding a new wing. Their responses are listed below: The allergists voted to scratch it. The dermatologists preferred no rash moves. The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it. The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve. The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception. The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted. The pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" The pediatricians said, "Grow up." The proctologists said, "We are in arrears." The psychiatrists thought it was madness. The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The radiologists could see right through it. The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow. The plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter." The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward. The urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water. The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas. And the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. The HMOs killed it, anyway.
“Will I ever live in a clean house again?” *shakes magic 8 ball *magic 8 ball explodes and makes a mess
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Incredibly Cool Facts About Snow
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1. Snowflakes aren’t the only form of snow. Snow can also precipitate as graupel or sleet. Not to be confused with hail, graupel (or snow pellets) are opaque ice particles that form in the atmosphere as ice crystals fall through freezing cloud droplets—meaning cloud particles that are colder than the freezing point of water but remain liquid. The cloud droplets group together to form a soft, lumpy mass. Sleet, on the other hand, consists of drops of rain that freeze into small, translucent balls of ice as they fall from the sky. 2. Syracuse tried to make snow illegal. America’s snowiest major city has an impressive arsenal of plows, but in 1992 it tried a new trick to control white stuff. The city’s Common Council passed a decree that any more snow before Christmas Eve was illegal. As it turns out, Mother Nature is a scofflaw—it snowed just two days later. 3. It’s a myth that no two snowflakes are exactly the same. In 1988, a scientist found two identical snow crystals. They came from a storm in Wisconsin. 4. The largest snowflake might have been 15 inches wide. According to some sources, the largest snowflakes ever observed fell during a snowstorm in January 1887 at Montana’s Fort Keogh. While witnesses said the flakes were “larger than milk pans,” these claims have not been substantiated. 5. Snow is translucent, not white. Snow, like the ice particles it’s made up of, is actually colorless. It’s translucent, which means that light does not pass through it easily (like it would transparent glass), but is rather reflected. It’s the light reflected off a snowflake’s faceted surface that creates its white appearance. But why white? The reason we see objects as colors is because some wavelengths of light are absorbed while others are reflected (remember, light is a spectrum of colors). The object takes on whatever color light is reflected. For example, the sky is blue because the blue wavelengths are reflected while the other colors are absorbed. Since snow is made up of so many tiny surfaces, the light that hits it is scattered in many directions and will actually bounce around from one surface to the next as it’s reflected. This means no wavelength is absorbed or reflected with any consistency, so the white light bounces back as the color white. 6. And, in fact, it doesn’t always appear white. Deep snow can often appear blue. This is because layers of snow can create a filter for the light, causing more red light to be absorbed than blue light. The result is that deeper snow appears blue—think about how your snowy footprints compare to the surrounding landscape. Snow can also sometimes appear pink. Snow in high alpine areas and the coastal polar regions contains cryophilic fresh-water algae that have a red pigment that tints the surrounding snow. 7. Each winter in the U.S., at least 1 septillion ice crystals fall from the sky. That’s 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000—24 zeros! 8. The most snow to fall in a 24-hour period in the United States is 75.8 inches. In 1921, over six feet of snow fell between April 14 at 2:30 p.m. and April 15 at 2:30 p.m. in Silver Lake, Colorado. 9. Colorado also holds the record for the most snow to fall in a single calendar day. On December 4, 1913, 63 inches of snow fell on Georgetown, Colorado. 10. Snow has never been reported in Key West. The coldest temperature on record for the Florida city (reached on January 13, 1981, and January 12, 1886) is 41 degrees Fahrenheit. 11. Not every big snowstorm is a blizzard. In order to be classified as a blizzard, a snowstorm must meet a very specific set of qualifications. Winds must blow at least 35 miles per hour and the snowfall must reduce visibility to less than 0.25 miles for a period of at least three hours. Other common types of snowstorms include a snow squall (an intense snowfall accompanied by strong winds that only lasts a short time) and a snowburst (a brief, intense snowfall that results in rapid accumulation of snow). 12. Igloos can be more than 100 degrees warmer inside than outside. And they’re warmed entirely by body heat. Since fresh, compacted snow is approximately 90 to 95 percent trapped air (meaning it can’t move and transfer heat) it’s a great insulator. Many animals, such as bears, dig deep holes in the snow to hibernate through the winter. 13. Nova Scotia holds the record for the most snow angels ever made simultaneously in multiple locations. In 2011, 22,022 Nova Scotia residents in 130 separate locations all plopped down in the snow to make snow angels. 14. North Dakota holds the record for most snow angels made simultaneously in one place. Back in 2007 it was 8,962 people in North Dakota who plopped down in the snow to waggle their arms and legs to make snow angels. 15. Feeling more devilish? The largest snowball fight on record took place in Seattle. Exactly 5,834 snow fighters came together to exchange frozen barrages to create the largest snowball fight in the world on Jan. 12, 2013.
Happy Birthday
Trish Turpin Jan. 1st
January 2016
Doctor! Doctor!
Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain. Why's that? My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it. ************************* Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in? Certainly - how about a paper bag? ************************** Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me. Next, please! ************************* Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together! ************************* Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge. What's come over you? Two cars and a bus! ************************* Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Sit there and don't stir. ************************** Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball. Get back in the queue. ************************* Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later. ************************* Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me. One at a time, please. ************************* Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog. Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you. I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.
Incredible Shape
"You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78." The man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."
Phone: 865-882-9340
January 2016
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21 The Roane Reader
Dress warmly
Football Facts
Super Bowl Facts
Folks new to Fairbanks will have to rethink the way they dress from the ground up. Your old sneakers and cotton socks will not adequately protect your feet from sub zero temperatures! Wool socks are much warmer than cotton, so change your socks first. Warm boot options include bunny boots, pac boots (Sorels), mukluks, insulated boots, and wool boots (Lobens). Wool felt insoles increase warmth and can be added to any pair of shoes/boots with enough room. Plastic bag vapor barriers over your socks are an effective way to increase the warmth of your footwear in an emergency.
The field’s yellow line first-down marker costs $20,000 per football TV broadcast, or $5,120,000 during a regular season.
Though wings and pizza are the most popular Super Bowl snacks, around 11 million pounds of chips are eaten on Super Bowl Sunday. Additionally, around 4 million pounds of pretzels and 2.5 million pounds of nuts are eaten that day.
Dress in layers – hopefully you have heard this before. Thermal long underwear is available in a variety of weights. Make sure you have several pairs so you can mix and match and have a clean pair now and then. In town you can wear cotton and silk layers, but in the outdoors you should stick to synthetics (polyester, polypropylene, etc.). Bulky outer layers trap warm air near your body – examples include flannel lined pants, wool pants or sweaters, and fleece with a puffy (fiberfill or down) parka on the outside. Fairbanks is rarely windy, but if you are in a windy area you will need a wind proof layer for every part of your body to reduce wind chill.
Millions of pizza slices are delivered to Americans on Super Bowl The oldest NFL stadium still in Sunday. On Super Bowl Sunday, pizza delivery drivers get into more use is Soldier Field in Chicago. accidents than any other day of the year. Legends Football League Antacid sales increase by 20% the day after the Super Bowl. Addipromoters say that “lingerie foot- tionally, 6% of Americans will call in sick the day after. ball” (Legends Football League) is the fastest growing pro sports Americans drink 50 million cases of beer on Super Bowl weekend, franchise in the country. Despite which is a tab of more than $10.8 billion. its popularity, critics say it Super Bowl weekend is the second-biggest grilling weekend of the degrades its athletes through year. July 4th is the first. “pernicious objectification.” During Super Bowl halftime, there are an estimated 90 million toilet
Boots
Legs, Arms, and Trunk
Hands
Gloves are needed when you want to perform manual tasks in the cold while still protecting your hands. In colder conditions, or over extended periods, mittens are better since they keep fingers together and trap heat more effectively than gloves. Avoid touching cold metal and liquids (fuels and alcohol) that can instantly freeze your bare skin.
Head and Neck
Are major areas of heat loss. In cold weather you will want to cover your neck with a scarf, balaclava, or neck gaiter. Two layers on your head are ideal in extreme cold; possibilities include a hat and a balaclava or a hat and a jacket hood. In extreme cold or wind, you will need to protect your nose and cheeks from freezing. Balaclavas, wind proof face masks, or scarves will all protect your face from the cold. A balaclava is an excellent survival item – we highly recommend you carry one in your backpack or coat pocket.
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”
Ronnie Lott had his left pinky amputated after the 1985 season. It had been crushed during a tackle on running back Timmy Newsome.
There are nearly 3 million sports industry jobs in the U.S, which is approximately 1% of the population.
Happy Birthday
Jacque Coleman Jan. 16th
New Shipment of Mattresses & Box Springs Many to Choose From!
1238 S. Roane St Harriman,Tn 37748 (865) 387-3572 For even more info
Super Bowl XLV was the first Super Bowl with no cheerleaders at the game because both the Steelers and the Packers don’t employ cheerleaders. Psychologists note there are situations/events socially tied to food categories, such as the Super Bowl and pizza, Easter and eggs, etc.
flushes. That’s equivalent to 180 million gallons of water flowing at once, or 3.5 minutes of flowing water on the Niagara Falls. Americans eat approximately 1.25 billion chicken wings on Super Bowl weekend.
World Health
Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
22 The Roane Reader
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Enjoy your coffee this morning! A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. The cups are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.” God brews the coffee, not the cups……… Enjoy your coffee!
24 Things to Always Remember. . . and One Thing to Never Forget
Your presence is a present to the world. You’re unique and one of a kind. Your life can be what you want it to be. Take the days just one at a time. Count your blessings, not your troubles. You’ll make it through whatever comes along. Within you are so many answers. Understand, have courage, be strong.
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The Difference between Optimists and Pessimist
Happy Birthday
Dinette Ray Jan. 7th
THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿)
No Winner in December We will run this another month
12 DAILY REMINDERS 1. The past cannot be changed 2. Opinions don't define your reality 3. Everyone's journey is different
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets. Don’t take things too seriously. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
4. Things always get better with time 5. Judgements are a confession of character
Nationally Certified as a Consumer Bankruptcy Specialist
Realize that it’s never too late. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. Have health and hope and happiness. Take the time to wish upon a star. And don’t ever forget . . . For even a day . . . How very special you are.
January 2016
Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader In order to better understand Go to www.roanereader.com/thephantom people’s views of the world, PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, a researcher once placed two EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. children, one a pessimist and ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!! the other an optimist, alone in Entries that fail to provide all this information will not qualify! separate rooms. The pessimist was placed in a colorful room full of all kinds of imaginative toys…the optimist was put in a room filled with horse manure. The first child played in the room for a little while, but soon came to the door asking to leave because the toys were boring and because they broke too easily. Likewise, the young optimist soon came to the door…but rather than asking to leave, she asked for a shovel. Of course, the researcher asked the child why she wanted a shovel. She replied, “With all this manure around, I know that there must be a pony in here somewhere.”
Don’t put limits on yourself. So many dreams are waiting to be realized. Decisions are too important to leave to chance. Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
Remember that a little love goes a long way. Remember that a lot . . . goes forever. Remember that friendship is a wise investment. Life’s treasures are people . . . together.
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6. Overthinking will lead to sadness 7. Happiness is found within 8. Positive thoughts create positive things 9. Smiles are contagious 10. Kindness is free 11. You only fail if you quit
www.msw-law.com
12. What goes around, comes around
January 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
Hillbilly Medical Terms
Benign................What you be after you be eight. Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria. Barium.................What you do with dead folks. Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan................Searching for the cat. Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her. Colic...............A sheep dog. Coma...............A punctuation mark. D&C................Where Washington is. Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do. Enema.............Not a friend. Fester............Quicker than someone else. Fibula............A small lie. G.I.Series.........World Series of military baseball. Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on. Impotent......Distinguished, well known. Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work. Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates...........Cheaper than day rates. Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake. Node....................I knew it. Outpatient..............A person who has fainted. Pap Smear................A fatherhood test. Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis. Post Operative...........A letter carrier. Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery. Secretion.......Hiding something. Tablet..........A small table to change babies on. Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section. Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station. Tumor...............More than one. Urine...............Opposite of mine. Varicose............Near by. Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.
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ADMIT IT... YOU HAVE GROWN OLD
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Patient Charts
The following are comments from doctors as recorded on patient Your houseplants are alive, and charts. you can't smoke any of them. "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year." 6:00 AM is when you get up, not "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disapwhen you go to bed. peared You hear your favorite song in an completely." elevator. "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in You watch the Weather Channel. 1993." Your friends marry and divorce "The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be instead of "hook up" and "break depressed." up." You go from 130 days of "Discharge status: Alive but without permission." vacation time to 14. "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but Jeans and a sweater no longer forgetful." qualify as "dressed up." "The patient refused an autopsy." You're the one calling the police "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital." because those kids next door "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant won't turn down the stereo. with You don't know what time Taco only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days." Bell closes anymore. Your car insurance goes down "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch." and your car payments go up. "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she Sleeping on the couch makes was very hot in bed last night." your back hurt. "She is numb from her toes down." You take naps sometime between "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home." noon to 6 PM! "The skin was moist and dry." Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches." one. "Patient was alert and unresponsive." Eating a basket of chicken wings "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until at 3 AM would severely upset, she got a divorce." rather than settle, your stomach. You actually eat breakfast food at "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy." breakfast time. "I just can't drink the way I used "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job to" replaces "I'm never going to as a stockbroker instead." drink that much again." "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities." 90% of the time you spend in "Skin: Somewhat pale but present." front of a computer is for real "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should work. sit on the abdomen, and I agree." You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, doesn't apply to you and can't if one only remembers to turn on the light.” - Albus find one to save your sorry old Dumbledore, Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban butt.
Happy New Year From
The Roane Reader (Justin Stout & Kay Christopher)
United States Coast Guard Auxiliary WATTS BAR GROUP, KINGSTON When you join the Auxiliary you could: » Find yourself saving lives » Become an instructor and teach boating safety classes » Train for patrols on the water » Enjoy fellowship with others » AND MUCH MORE!
FIND OUT WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU! Call:865.376.4822 or Email:whitebill1220@yahoo.com
24 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
Totally Useless Facts
www.roanereader.com
email: info@roanereader.com
January 2016
Are you smarter than a 60 year old?
The material to build the Taj Mahal was brought in from various What's a water moccasin often called, due to the white inside its mouth? parts of India by a fleet of 1000 elephants What nation was bounced from the Organization of American States in 1962? Medical research has found substances in mistletoe that can slow What continent has the fewest flowering plants? down tumor growth What element begins with the letter "K"? In the USA, 32% of employees eat lunch and work at the same time What country saw a world record 315 million voters turn out for elections on May 20, 1991? In the United States, more than 4.2 million couples live together that What Lewis Carroll book was banned in China after censors decided: "Animals should not use human are not married language"? Bill Gates house was partially designed using a Macintosh computer. What is the least popular month for U.S. weddings? new The male howler monkey of Central and South America is the What spot once registered 134 degrees, the highest temperature ever in the U.S.?
noisiest land animal, which can be heard clearly from a distance of What was the first organ successfully transplanted from a cadaver to a live person? ten miles away What surname means "son of Nick"? It is said that grapefruit got its name because it grows like grapes in What duo survived a 1909 shootout with Bolivia's cavalry, according to historians? clusters. One cluster can have up to 25 grapefruits What F-word is defined in physics as a "nuclear reaction in which nuclei combine to form more massive Abdul Kassam Ismael, Grand Vizier of Persia in the tenth century, nuclei"? carried his library with him wherever he went. Four hundred camels What's the largest and densest of the four rocky planets? carried the 117,000 volumes An average adult produces about half a litre of flatulent gas per day, What ingredient in fresh milk is eventually devoured by bacteria, causing the sour taste? resulting in an average of about fourteen occurrences of flatulence a Who offered insurance against an accidental death caused by a falling Sputnik? day What Beatrix Potter tale is the top-selling children's book of all time? Maine is the toothpick capital of the world What national holiday in Mexico has picnickers munching chocolate coffins and sugar skulls?
Peanut butter is an effective way to remove chewing gum from hair What nation's military attached dynamite packs to Dobermans before sending them into Palestinian or clothes guerrilla hideouts? The longest kiss on record lasted 30 hours and 45 minutes. Dror What was the first planet to be discovered using the telescope, in 1781? Orpaz and Carmit Tsubara recorded it on April 5, 1999 at a kissing How many days does a cat usually stay in heat? contest held in Tel Aviv, Israel Polar bears are excellent swimmers. They have been known to swim ANSWERS
A cottonmouth, Cuba, Antarctica, Krypton, India, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, January, Death If Wal-Mart was classified as a country, it would be the 24th most Valley, A kidney, Aixon, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Fusion, Earth, Lactose, Lloyds of London, The Tale of Peter Rabbit, The Day of the Dead, Israel, Uranus, Five. productive country in the world more than 60 miles without a rest
In Australia, a dust-devil is called a "willy-willy
Mud Bath
“Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the The name "Snickers" for the popular candy bar was named after a A man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. prejudices of their social environment. Most people horse that the Mars family owned After a while, the doctor comes are even incapable of forming such opinions.” The #1 peanut producing state is Georgia out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but __________________________________ we have discovered you have a HOW TO PAY YOUR ROANE COUNTY TAXES condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to live." TRUSTEE’S OFFICE - ROANE COUNTY COURTHOUSE (MONDAY-FRIDAY 8:30 A.M. TO 4:30 P.M.) "But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great. I haven't felt better UNITED COMMUNITY BANK IN KINGSTON in years. This just can't be true. (With your tax notice) Isn't there anything I can do?" US BANK IN ROCKWOOD OR KINGSTON After a moment the doctor said, (With your tax notice) "Well, you might start going down the street to that new CREDIT CARD PAYMENTS - Www.TennesseeTrustee.com health spa and take a mud bath (Select Roane County - a fee will be charged for credit/debit every day." card transactions) Excitedly Bill asked, "And that CALL 1-877-768-5048 TO MAKE PHONE PAYMENTS will cure me?" (You will need your receipt number. "No," Replied the doctor, "but it A fee is charged for this transaction) will get you used to the dirt." MAIL PAYMENT WITH CHECK TO: (Please include your receipt number on the check) Happy Birthday ROANE COUNTY TRUSTEE P.O. BOX 296 Jan. 19th KINGSTON, TN 37763
Celebrate Recovery! Every Tuesday Celebrate Recovery meets at 6 pm at Kingston First Baptist Church. It's a faith based program for anyone with a hurt, habit, or a hang-up.
Everyone is welcome!
David Shillings
January 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
www.princessharriman.org
Upcoming Events
Presented by the Princess Theatre Foundation. <><><><><><><><><>
Jan. 14th - 7:00 p.m.
The Kingdom Heirs For Ticket Info: Randy Scarborough - 865-776-7683 or 865-882-0356
Jan 22nd - 7:00 p.m.
The Safe Side of the Fence “World War II’s Manhattan Project required the refinement of massive amounts of uranium, and St. Louis-based Mallinckrodt Chemical Works took on the job.
Admission is $10
For tickets go to: www.brownpapertickets.com/event/2475388
Want to have your event at the gorgeous, historical Princess Theatre? For booking - Phone: 865-882-4633
For Richer or Poorer The wives who lived within the walls of the Weinsberg Castle in Germany were well aware of the riches it held: gold, sliver, jewels, and wealth beyond belief. Then the day came in 1141 A. D. when all their treasure was threatened. And enemy army had surrounded the castle and demanded the fortress, the fortune, and the lives of the men within. There was nothing to do but surrender. Although the conquering commander had set a condition for the safe release of all the women and children, the wives of Weinsberg refused to leave without having one of their own conditions met, as well. They demanded that they be allowed to fill their arms with as many possessions as they could carry out with them. Knowing that the women couldn’t possibly make a dent in the massive fortune, their request was honored. When the castle gates opened, the army outside was brought to tears. Each woman had carried out her husband. The wives of Weinsberg, indeed, were well aware of the riches the castle held.
Little Known Fact
There was an army general during the Liberia Civil War who used to lead his army into battle naked. His nickname was "General Butt Naked." Joshua Milton Blahyi (his real name) is now an evangelical preacher in Monrovia.
“Human knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. Humanity has every reason to place the proclaimers of high moral standards and values above the discoverers of objective truth.”
email: info@roanereader.com
25 The Roane Reader
26 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
Best Books for 8-12 year-olds The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain, 1876. Though more than a century old Twain’s self-professed “hymn” to boyhood still captures the abandon of youth. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, 1865. C.S. Lewis said no book is worth reading at age 10 that is not equally worth reading at age 50. Carroll’s classic stands this test of time, as adult and child alike identify with poor Alice, who grows and shrinks and tries to make sense of her nonsensical world. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery, 1908. The exuberance with which the feisty red-haired orphan accidentally dyes her hair green and bakes a cake full of liniment pulls us headfirst into her quirky hurricane. The Borrowers series by Mary Norton, 1952. The idea that tiny people called borrowers live beneath the floorboards of our houses, frame postage stamps as art and use matchboxes for drawers is the charming anchor for these daring adventures. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson, 1977. In this powerful story of friendship and loss, the imaginary kingdom of Terabithia is where Jess and Leslie learn to cope with life when it’s not so beautiful. Bud, Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis, 1999. Guided by his own “Rules and Things for Having a Funner Life and Making a Better Liar Out of Yourself,” 10-year-old Bud Caldwell’s half-baked odyssey to flee his abusive foster home and find his supposed father will make you laugh and cry. Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White and illustrated by Garth Williams, 1952. In the beloved story of a little pig named Wilbur who is saved from an untimely death by Charlotte the spider, readers are transported into the barn which smells of the “perspiration of tired horses and the wonderful sweet breath of patient cows.” White’s lyrical prose lulls his readers into a celebration of senses, encouraging them to find the wonder in every moment. The story confronts the reality that the passage of time — and friends — is inevitable, and portrays change not as a tragedy, but as a door to new opportunities.
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Try This Experiment Salt and Melting
Space Wordsearch
Instructions: Part 1
1. Take 2 cups of water. 2. Place about a tablespoon of salt in one of the cups, and stir. 3. Place both cups in the freezer. 4. Check each cup about every 10 minutes. Which one do you think will freeze first? Part 2 1. Now get an ice cube out of the freezer. 2. Place the ice cube on a plate and begin sprinkling salt on the ice cube. Watch how it melts… now you see why people sprinkle salt on their driveways when it snows!
Hey Kids!
Do you have a poem or short story written? Send it to us at
1134 Georgia St.
Harriman, TN 37748 and we’ll print it!
Roane and Loudon Counties Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applications for the 2015/2016 Program Year Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families
To complete an application or to get information please call the Head Start Admin Center in Kingston at 865-376-2308 ext 222 Monday -Thursday Phone 865-376-2308 865-882-0808 865-882-8737
January 2016
What You Need: ◦2 cups water ◦Salt ◦A plate
Mid-East Community Action Agency
Site Admin Office Rolling Acres Fairmont
email: info@roanereader.com
P.O. Box 790 Mid-East Kingston, TN 37763 Community Action Agency www.mecaa.net
Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.
ASTEROID ATMOSPHERE BLACK HOLE CLOUD CONSTELLAION CRATER EARTH ECLIPSE GALAXY GRAVITY HALLEY’S COMET JUPITER LIGHT YEAR
MARS MERCURY METEOR METEORITE MOON NEPTUNE NEUTRON STAR ORBIT PLANET PLUTO PULSAR RED GIANT SATELLITE
SATURN SOLAR FLARE SOLAR SYSTEM STAR SUN SUNSPOT SUPERNOVA TELESCOPE TENTH PLANET UNIVERSE URANUS VENUS
Public Stargazing Tamke-Allan Observatory, Harriman
Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long. Public is welcome! The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road - turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left. Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long, inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.
Gates open at 7 pm
For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or fieldsde@roanestate.edu for details.
Phone: 865-882-9340
January 2016
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email: info@roanereader.com
27 The Roane Reader
"OLDER THAN DIRT" TRIVIA 1. In 1950, the Famous Brinks Robbery netted $2.8 million. Where did it occur? 2. Who said "Old soldiers never die, they just fade away." 3. Catcher in the Rye's portrayal of Holden Caufield's 16-year-old-life was a huge success. Who wrote the book? 4. Which longest running daytime drama moved from radio to TV in 1952? 5. In 1952 Richard Nixon made a speech known as the “Checkers“ speech in answer to allegations against him. Who or what was the subject of this speech? 6. What accomplishment in 1953 made Edmund Hilary and Tenzing Norgay famous? 7. What did Francis Watson and James Crick become famous for discovering?
8. In 1954, the law known as Brown v. Board of Education was passed. What did the law prohibit? 9. What was the name of the new company formed when Nash-Kelvinator and Hudson Motor Car Co. merged? 10. What fast-food franchise opened to the jingle, “Hold the pickle! Hold the lettuce!“ in 1954? 11. Psychologist Joyce Brothers won the "$64,000 Question." What was her topic? 12.What motto did Congress authorize all US currency and coins to say in 1953? 13. Rosa Parks' refusal to give up her seat on a bus led to a Supreme Court decision outlawing bus segregation. Where did this happen?
ANSWERS
1. Boston The entire robbery only took 17 minutes from beginning to end. 2. Gen. Douglas MacArthur In his farewell speech to Congress in 1951. 3. J.D. Salinger Herman Wouk wrote the Caine Mutiny and Faulkner will win the Noble Prize for his many works. 4. Guiding Light “The Guiding Light“ was one of the most popular soaps ever produced. 5. A cocker spaniel dog named Checkers. This was in response to the accusation that Nixon had a secret fund. He said all he had accepted was the gift of the dog. 6. Summit Mt. Everest Fighting great odds, this pair became the first to reach the top of the World’s Tallest Mountain. 7. The “double helix“ of DNA The discovery changed the world forever.
Happy Birthday
Jonas Salk gets the credit for the polio vaccine. Researchers at Bell Labs came up with the transistor. 8. School segregation The Court said, "Separate educational facilities are inherently unequal." 9. American Motors A new series of automotive products emerged from this company and proved to be very popular with the automobile buying public. 10. Burger King “Have it your way“ was a new concept in fast food in the 50’s. 11. Boxing She made herself an expert on boxing exclusively for this show. 12. In God We Trust This motto caused much discussion about the separation of Church and State. 13. Montgomery, Alabama This city was a hotbed of the Civil Rights Movement.
“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.”
Stacey Bowlin Jan. 30th
Outreach Program Walnut Hill Church's mission is reaching the lost and helping people in need.
The Outreach program needs items donated to make them available to needy people in our area. Clothing - all sizes Shoes Socks Shampoo Soap
Tooth brushes Toothpaste Underclothes ĂďLJ ŝĂƉĞƌƐ and other items
Stamps & Cards School Supplies Back Packs Clothes Hangers ĂƐŚ ĚŽŶĂƟŽŶ
ƌŽƉ Kī dŝŵĞƐͲ tĞĚŶĞƐĚĂLJ͗ ϭϮ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ Θ dŚƵƌƐĚĂLJƐ Ͳ ϵ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ
Contact SENATOR
Yager Ken
Phone:
(615) 741-1449 or (800) 449-8366 ext. 11449
'LVWULFW 2LFH P.O. Box 684 Kingston, TN 37763
1DVKYLOOH 2LFH G19 War Memorial Bldg. Nashville, TN 37243
The people who get the items will be screened and records will be kept to assure the program is used in the right way.
BILLY GRIGSBY, OWNER 354-9957 354-9290
DAMAGE FREE HAULING
1348 GATEWAY - ROCKWOOD
Please pray for the Outreach program. /Ĩ LJŽƵΖĚ ůŝŬĞ ƚŽ ǀŽůƵŶƚĞĞƌ͕ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ ƚŚĞ KƵƚƌĞĂĐŚ ůĞĂĚĞƌ͘ tĞ ŶĞĞĚ ƚŽ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ĂƫƚƵĚĞ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵ ĨŽƌ ŝƚ ƚŽ ǁŽƌŬ͘ Let God lead us in everything we do.
visit www.csstrong.org for more info
dŽ ĚŽŶĂƚĞ Žƌ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͕ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ &ĂLJĞ ĂŶŝĞůƐ͕ Outreach Leader at 865-590-7192 or 865-308-9283.
28 The Roane Reader
What do Angels Look Like Like the little old lady who returned your wallet yesterday. Like the taxi driver who told you that your eyes light up the world, when you smile. Like the small child who showed you the simple things. Like the poor man who offered to share his lunch with you. Like the rich man who showed you that it really is all possible, if only you believe. Like the stranger who just happened to come along, when you had lost your way. Like the friend who touched your heart, when you didn’t think you had one. Angels come in all sizes and shapes, all ages and skin types. Some with freckles, some with dimples, some with wrinkles, some without. They come disguised as friends, enemies teachers, students, lovers and fools. They don’t take life too seriously, they travel light. They leave no forwarding address, and ask nothing in return. They are hard to find when your eyes are closed, but when you choose to see, they are everywhere you look. So, open you eyes and count all your Angels — for you are truly blessed!
Your Time Clock & Watch Repair
Specializing in mechanical restoration and repair of antique clocks and pocket watches
In home service available for grandfather and other tall case clocks Located in Roane County Jim Foster Owner yourtimeclockandwatch.com
865-466-5805
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
“Little River” - A Serial by: Rachel Holbrook
Life in Little River, Tennessee can be a lot of things. Beautiful, for one. The main part of the town of Little River is nestled in a bend of the river it is named for, but it spreads out in each direction into the hills and valleys that stretch toward the Appalachian Mountains. No matter what part of town you live in, there is beauty, if you have the vision to see it. You might look out your window in the morning and see a field of green grass that reaches to the woods. Or you might see lovely, painstakingly restored Victorian architecture in the old part of town. Even the more run down areas of Little River have their charm. Nearly every house down by the river has a front porch where their occupants gather in the evenings, as the lightening bugs come out and the frogs begin to call to their mates. It’s a slow and peaceful life. There is another, less beautiful view. It’s hidden on the inside. It is harsh and brutal. The sharp teeth behind the smile. It is being the youngest child in a damaged family. It is growing up with a mom who is not well, and a dead father who is a saintly memory. It is trying hard to be like brothers you don’t like. It is shepherding a fold through doubt and disillusionment. It is finding your voice in a place where no one wants to hear it. It is hateful and bigoted and precious in a way that disgusts you. It is, more than anything, all you know.
email: info@roanereader.com
year old boys what’s going on.
January 2016
and wanted to stroke their hair all the time. The other boys let her for a while, but then they got tired of it. Clay told her to stop acting like he was a little kid and started stealing their Papaw’s cigarettes. Josh got suspended for fighting at school, and Travis did anything Clay put him up to. So Caleb told his mom she was a brave, brave woman, and was doing a really great job. He told her that he liked making his own food anyway, and he didn’t mind if she went to bed early. He told her yes, he would always be her boy, and he sat by her on the couch and let her pat his leg and kiss his hair.
Caleb did remember that his dad was late coming home, and his mom let them watch Scooby Doo while they ate. His Mamaw came over, and his mom was gone. He didn’t remember if he asked where she had went. He didn’t remember much of anything besides Scooby Doo. His Mamaw sent them to bed, and the next day their Uncle Titus was there. He told them that they were going to the hospital to see their dad. Caleb had been confused, because he didn’t know his dad was in the hospital. Uncle Titus said there had been a car accident. A train. Their dad wasn’t doing well. Uncle Titus started coming over a lot, and When they got to the hospital, Sam was just he would cook for them when he was there. lying in the bed with tubes in him. He didn’t At first, all the boys were really happy about open his eyes. Their mom was lying in the it. Uncle Titus sometimes brought them bed with him, her eyes red and swollen. She presents. He made them ice cream sundaes started crying when the boys came in, and and took them to McDonald’s. But then Clay their Uncle Titus whispered, “It’s going to be got mad at him. He yelled at Uncle Titus and okay, Annie.” and rubbed her arm. Caleb and told him to stop being such a pussy and make his brothers stood at the side of their father’s their mom snap out of it. bed. Their mom told them they needed to say goodbye, and then she sobbed loudly against their father’s chest. Caleb looked hard to see if it was still moving up and down. He wanted her to get off of his dad, because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to breathe with her lying on him.
Uncle Titus said, “And just how exactly am I supposed to do that, Clayton?” Clay yelled, “I don’t know! Just do something. I’m sick of this crap. And I’m sick of you!”
Uncle Titus sat down and crossed his legs. He looked tired and sad. Clay stomped Caleb’s brothers were older than he was. outside, and Travis and Josh followed him Clay was thirteen, Josh was eleven, and out. Caleb could hear Clay yell at them to Travis was ten. They all looked scared, leave him alone. and that scared Caleb. Travis cried, and Caleb went to the refrigerator and got a can Josh looked angry. Clay said, “I love you, of his mom’s beer and took it to his uncle. Daddy.” Then he stared out the window. Uncle Titus popped the top and said, “You’re Travis and Josh both said, “Bye, Daddy.” a good boy, Caleb.” And “I love you, Daddy.” Caleb couldn’t say anything. He just stood there with a Caleb picked up the t.v. remote and said, million thoughts running through his head. “She’s just real sad, Uncle Titus. She’ll get He couldn’t picture life without his dad. He better soon. She just misses Daddy.” didn’t even know how to begin imagining Uncle Titus looked really sad, too, and said, it. He wanted to tell his dad something, “I know, Caleb. We all do.” but his feet were stuck to the floor and his tongue felt too big for his mouth. So he just “Little River” is an ongoing serial which stood there, and the next day his dad died. debuted on 6-30-15. New installments There was a funeral, but Caleb didn’t remem- will be published every month in The ber much about it. He didn’t remember Roane Reader. If you enjoy this serial you the graveside service, or the weeks after. It can purchase “Little River” Vol. 1 from seemed to Caleb that he should remember Amazon in paperback or as a Kindle book for easy reading on your e-reader devices. those things, but he didn’t.
Caleb Salt was eight years old when his dad died. He sometimes wondered who he would be now if he had a dad. Caleb had heard people say he reminded them of his dad. He looked more like him than his brothers did. Caleb never knew his father as a man…a separate entity from his family. He only knew him as his dad. A really good dad. Samuel Salt played football with his boys. He took them to baseball practice. Caleb remembered when he was really little his dad would call him “Little Man” and let him ride on his shoulders. His dad worked hard at the plant, and came home every night and kissed his Mama on the cheek. He would say, “How’re you, Mama?” She’d say, “I’m good now that you’re home, Sam.” Then he’d pat her on the butt, and she’d go back to Caleb did remember going to school when the kitchen where she was making supper. summer was over, and telling his friends It happened just that way until one day Sam that his dad had died. They looked at Caleb didn’t come home. Caleb wished he could funny for a while, but then they forgot about remember that day perfectly. He wished it. They had dads. he could remember what he was wearing, Caleb didn’t play baseball anymore after what his mom was cooking, and what the that. It made him too sad. He felt like his other boys were doing. It seemed to Caleb dad should be there every time, and he never that some sort of photographic memory was. His mom let him quit. She let the boys should have kicked in on the day everything do whatever they wanted, most of the time. changed. He was an eight year old boy, She called them her “brave, brave boys” though, and people don’t always tell eight
Rachel Holbrook writes from her home in East Tennessee, where she lives with her husband and six children. She is currently seeking representation for her first novel.
January 2016
Phone: 865-882-9340
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email: info@roanereader.com
29 The Roane Reader
Pet’s Page
Pet Health Myths You May Have Fallen For
Myth 1: Parasite Prevention Isn't Necessary Year-round
In truth, many vets want pet owners to think of parasite prevention as preventive medicine. Some parasites, like roundworms, can infect pets at any time of the year, so only continuous prevention is effective against them. To help keep pets safe from fleas, ticks, heartworms and intestinal parasites, you’ll need to administer broad-spectrum parasite prevention medication; many of these products are administered or applied once every month. Your veterinarian will help you choose the products that will be most helpful to your pets.
Myth 2: Neutering Makes Dogs Soft
Neutering male dogs can quiet certain unpleasant tendencies (such as mounting behavior and urine marking) when done at a young age. At the same time, it won’t diminish skills that are characteristic of a breed — like hunting. What’s more, neutering also can help protect against testicular cancer and an enlarged prostate. Myth 3: Urine Marking Is Just a Cat's Way of Staking His Territory Though cats sometimes use urine to mark their claim, frequent urination outside the litterbox can signal a serious health problem, like a urinary tract infection, bladder stones or even diabetes or renal failure. Sometimes inappropriate urination can signal that your cat is suffering from anxiety. If your cat goes outside his litterbox once or twice, it's worth a call to the vet to see if you should be concerned. But if he’s having frequent “accidents,” making numerous trips to the litterbox, howling or meowing while urinating, seems unable to urinate or has any blood in the urine, take him to your veterinarian right away.
Myth 4: It's OK to Skip Brushing Pets' Teeth
Failure to brush regularly can lead to serious gum disease and significantly decrease your pet’s overall quality of life. When started at a young age, many pets enjoy teeth brushing! Even many older cats and dogs can learn to love it when you introduce it slowly and make it fun. Visit your veterinarian for toothbrushing pointers and advice — such as avoiding using toothpaste for people, because the fluoride can cause health problems in dogs and cats.
Myth 5: Itchy Ears Must Mean Ear Mites
When your canines ears start to itch, don't immediately assume it's ear mites and don't attempt to treat the itch without seeking out your vet’s advice. The itching could be due to a yeast or bacterial infection that requires appropriate medication. Those infections typically occur as a result of food or inhalant allergy or another underlying medical issue. Plus, if your dog’s ear issues are allergy related, a one-time treatment might not do the trick. Your vet will explain how to soothe your dog’s itchy ears.
Myth 6: The Only Way to Show Pets Love Is Through Food
Pets’ longing looks at your food or their empty food bowls do tug at the heartstrings. But feeding pets too much isn’t affectionate; it’s a health risk. Obesity can lead to other medical problems including skin issues, orthopedic complications, arthritis and heart and liver troubles. Don't get hung up on the portion recommendations on a bag of pet food — those recommendations are general and might not illustrate the amount your pet needs to eat. Speak to your veterinarian about the portion size that’s best for your pet. And remember that when you want to show your pets a little love, active playtime is one of the best ways to do it!
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE
1. Both keep moving...even when they are lost. 2. Both take up too much space on the bed. 3. Both have irrational fears about the vacuum cleaner. 4. Both are threatened by their own kind. 5. Neither understands what you see in cats. 6. The larger ones tend to drool.
Adopt a Pet! Roane County Animal Shelter 296 Manufacturers Rd Rockwood, Tennessee. (865) 354-7387
Thoughts on Cats "Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." "One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." "Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." "People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."
ROANE COUNTY PAWS
Our mission is to improve the welfare of animals in Roane County
HOMEOWNERS
GREAT RATES • SUPERIOR COVERAGE
YOU CHOOSE YOUR DEDUCTIBLE FULL ROOF REPLACEMENT • FULL REPLACEMENT VALUE ON HOME
Traughber Insurance Paul Traughber & Financial Svcs, Inc. Agent/Owner
Over 25 Years Experience
420 Ruritan Rd, Harriman TN 37748 Ph: 865-882-1900 • Fax: 865-882-1908 Email: traughber@bellsouth.net
We issue vouchers each month to Planned Pethood. We are working with Mark Neely at the Rockwood City Animal Shelter in his established pet food pantry. We educate others about the importance of spaying and neutering, vaccinating, caring for, and properly vetting pets. We are a not for profit organization. We are not a 501c3. We rely on the donations of our community members to fund our vouchers and assist with pet care needs. Each dollar donated goes directly toward the care of pets in our area.
Please consider making a donation to Roane County Paws Checks can be mailed to 119 Arrowood Lane, Harriman, TN 37748 or dropped off at First Bank of TN in South Harriman. For more information, contact Hope Gibson at 865-250-6966 or Cindy Hickey at 865-607-2865
30 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
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email: info@roanereader.com
January 2016
1134 Georgia St. Harriman, Tn 37748 Serving 4 counties with 7,500 issues distributed monthly
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Serving four counties roane | Morgan | Anderson | cumberland (865) 882-9340 | www.roanereader.com | info@roanereader.com
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January 2016
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Address 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763 413 Devonia St, Harriman, Tn 37748 1226 S Roane St, Harriman, Tn 37748 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763
B & M Wrecker Service
1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854
Big Emory Church Benchmark Church Carriage Hill Insurance CB Man Christmas Lumber Co. Clayton Homes (Athens) Cochran's Tax and Bookkeeping Coldwell Banker Cheryl Laxton Coldwell Banker Glenda Johnson Credit Central Eagle Mart Eddies Body Shop Ellis Surplus & Salvage Fraker Funeral Home Gary's Pest Control Grants Tree Service Grasscutters G & S Construction
1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 961 E. Tri-County Blvd. Oliver Springs, Tn 37840 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8, Rockwood, Tn 37854 www.truckers-more-cb-radio-range.com 101 Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 2104 S. Congress Parkway 230 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Guinnbilt Portable Buildings
Harriman Area
410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 705 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1238 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763 P.O. Box 1026 Harriman, Tn 37748 160 Country Club Dr. Rockwood, TN, 37854 2641 Sugar Grove Valley Rd Harriman, TN 37748
Happy Paws Harriman Home Center Hugh Russell Motors, LLC Hwy 29-A Motors Inc Jamestowne Assisted Living Jerrys Used Furniture Jim Rummell Collectibles
707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
J. Neal Jewelry
416 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Joes Mowing Junior's Restaurant KARM Stores Kingston Express Lube Kingston Parks & Recreation Kittrell's Kitchen KTB Taxes Logs to Lumber
214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 1496 N. Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 www.kingstonparks.com 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 111 South 3rd St. Kingston, Tn 37763 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771
L & J Home Repair
148 Hensley Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763
Phone (865) 617-5998 (865) 376-4589 (865) 590-7453 (865) 590-7429 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290 (865) 285-1390 (865) 384-3711 (865) 882-2362 (423) 745-4752 (865) 882-8556 (865) 376-2121 (865) 740-2440 (865) 376-2121 (865) 591-6900 (865) 882-1324 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 387-3572 (865) 717-7727 (865) 882-5794 (865) 399-7247 (865) 250-3656 (865) 389-6913 (865) 882-5309 (865) 804-4400 (865) 310-4677 (865) 224-9640 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-6462 (865) 376-3030 (865) 882-3603 (865) 224-0431 (865) 234-7100 (865) 250-2710 (865) 223-3090 (865) 354-2802
P.O. Box 790 Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 717-8288 (865) 376-1356 (865) 376-3060 (865) 376-0122 (865) 986-4264 (865) 466-2735 (865) 223-3090 (865) 622-1213 (865) 376-2308 (865) 882-3603
136 S. Illinois Ave., Sute 104 Oak Ridge, Tn 37830
(865) 482-4466
715 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, TN 37763 421 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 319 West Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
(865) 789-2706 (865) 882-4633 (423) 346-3302 (865) 250-6718
3232 Tazewell Pike Knoxville, Tn 37918
(865) 688-3232
430 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-2450 (865) 250-6966 (865) 607-2865
Mary Kay - Sherry Tipton Mid-East Community Action Agency Midtown Florist & Gifts Mostoller, Stulberg, Whitfield & Allen Law Firm (Social Security Disability) Patti Savage Designs Princess Theatre Quality Home Health Radio 580-AM Realty Executives Brenda Chapman Renos Sporting Goods Roane County Paws
119 Arrowood Ln., Harriman, Tn 37748
Roane County Trustee Roane Reader
P.O. Box 296 Kingston, Tn 37763 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Robert James & Associates
615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763
Rockwood Village Apartments Rosemary's Florist S.L. Bowman & Sons
601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
Seal Coat Specialist
Harriman Area
Senator Ken Yager Sextons Automotive Group Shelton Financial Protection Shepherd Plumbing Spotted Spaniel State Farm - Bill McFarland Taxes Done Right Tellico Propane Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Victorian Square Assisted Living
6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 Roane County Area 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 119 North Gateway Avenue 1251 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1375 Monterey Road Loudon, TN 37774
(865) 882-9340 (865) 376-4925 (800) 530-5700 (865) 354-3945 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-0600 (864) 640-1654 (865) 223-3976 (615) 741-1449 (865) 882-2416 (865) 376-0321 (865) 354-8518 (865) 483-0961 (865) 354-9453 (865) 307-4863 (865) 408-9050
420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-1900
1220 Bowman Bend Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, Tn 37854
(865) 376-4822 (865) 354-1133 (865) 590-7192 (865) 308-9283 (865) 466-5805
Walnut Hill Outreach Program Your Time Clock & Watch Repair
31 The Roane Reader
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email: info@roanereader.com
Name Anytime Fitness Big E Quick Mart Big Johns Bob's Hamburgers Cochran's Tax Service Coin Laundry (Harriman) Dollar General Market Eagles Food Mart Eddies Body Shop Food City (Harriman) Harriman Care & Rehab Center Harriman Jewelry Exchange Harriman Public Library Hugh Russell Motors Midtown Florist & Gifts Mossy Grove Food Mart Roane Medical Center Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets (Scott's MKT) Rocky Top Markets Save-A-Lot (Harriman) Schilo Foodmart Sexton Automotive Group Traughber Insurance Oasis Food Mart Harriman Home Center Renos Sporting Goods Roane Street Grill Cost Saver Exxon Food City (Kingston) Jamestowne Assisted Living Roane County Court House Rock Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Zoning Office Spotted Spaniel Anderson County Tobacco and Market Food City (Oliver Springs) Jones Grocery Marathon Fuel Center Coin Laundry (Oliver Springs) B & M wrecker Big E's Bridge At Rockwood Carriage Hill Insurance Hardees (Rockwood) Junior's Restaurant Rockwood Care & Rehab Center Rockwood Village Apartments Rocky Top Markets S.L. Bowman & Sons Inc Victorian Square Assisted Living Wal-mart Supercenter Darnell Food Market Hardees (Wartburg) Save-A-Lot (Wartburg) Sexton Ford
Address 1226 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 2843 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 828 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 3209 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 230 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 1301 S. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 201 Ruritan Rd Harriman,TN 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman,TN 37748 514 Emory Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1130 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 240 Hannah Road Harriman,TN 37748 509 Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 601 Walden Ave Harriman,TN 37748 1007 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 2744 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 1705 Morgan County Highway Harriman,TN 37748 8045 Roane Medical Center Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1811 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 2722 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 102 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1225 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1901 Harriman Highway Harriman,TN 37748 269 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 420 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 635 Old Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 707 Old Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 430 N. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 812 N Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 615 North Kentucky Street Kingston,TN 37763 1007 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 1000 Ladd Landing Boulevard Kingston,TN 37763 851 Lawnville Road Kingston,TN 37763 200 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 935 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 200 West Race St Kingston,TN 37763 104 Bluff Road Kingston,TN 37763 308 North 3rd Street Kingston,TN 37763 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge,TN 37830 S1 705 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 508 East Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37840 4306 Knoxville Highway Oliver Springs,TN 37840 704 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 903 E Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37748 1348 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 320 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8 Rockwood,Tn 37854 504 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 214 West Rockwood Street Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 601 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 101 South Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 521 North Front Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 241 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1102 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1014 Main Street Wartburg,TN 37887 1122 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 3910 Morgan County Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 1226 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887
Phone Number (865) 590-7429 (865) 882-7888 (865) 882-2822 (865) 882-5300 (865) 882-8556 (865) 882-0880 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 882-0117 (865) 882-1613 (865) 882-4000 (865) 882-3195 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-3603 (423) 346-5858 (865) 319-1000 (865) 882-7779 (865) 882-0075 (865) 882-0706 (865) 882-5446 (865) 882-7726 (800) 688-0833 (865) 882-1900 (865) 882-0602 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-2450 (865) 285-6025 (865) 717-0038 (865) 376-4059 (865) 376-7534 (865) 376-3030 (865) 376-2487 (865) 376-1771 (865) 717-2832 (865) 717-4230 (865) 483-0961 (865) 435-2662 (865) 435-5353 (423) 324-4932 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-3366 (865) 285-1390 (865) 354-4004 (865) 354-2802 (865) 354-3303 (865) 354-3945 (865) 354-2809 (865) 354-0600 (865) 354-1133 (865) 354-0863 (423) 346-3344 (423) 346-7666 (423) 346-6767 (866) 211-2642
Description Inside on wall at front window Inside on the "order here" counter Inside under counter Outside under the tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on top of Coin Machine Outside in our tabloid rack Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the waiting room Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on counter Inside in magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the cashier counter Inside in the magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside to the left under the magazine racks Inside under the counter in the magazine rack Out front beside the Roane County News rack Inside in magazine rack Inside the show room Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside under the coat rack Inside the lobby Inside under the magazine racks Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the front desk Inside the door Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the front desk Inside on the counter Inside on top of the lottery booth Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the tabloid racks Inside under counter Inside on tables Inside on the counter Inside Inside on the front desk Inside on desk Inside on top of the dividers Inside the door to the left in the magazine rack Inside on the front desk Inside on the front desk Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the counter Inside on the front desk Inside our tabloid rack across from self checkout Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the divider wall Inside under tabloid racks Inside the show room
*8,11%,/7 3257$%/( %8,/',1*6 .
Serving East Tn since 1975
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Barns Garages Additions Housing
Compare and Save! BARN TYPE
GABLE TYPE
8x8................$895............................$995 8x10................$995..........................$1095 8x12..............$1095..........................$1245 10x10..............$1195..........................$1245 10x12..............$1295..........................$1495
Custom Build Any Size, Any Style, Your Place Or Ours
10x16..............$1695..........................$1895 10x20..............$2195..........................$2395
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865-882-5309 865-804-4400
offering Roane and surrounding counties
Parts and Collision Repair
865-882-2416 Service Hours:
Mon. - Fri. 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. *Sat. 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. *(Express Lube only)
YOUR RENTAL PLACE FOR - 12-passenger vans