December2014

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501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748

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RoaneReader FREE

Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!

Established 1993

DECEMBER 2014

Distributed

VOLUME 22

NUMBER 2

7,500

Roane Sports ............................ 20 Local Sports information

Precious Memories ................. 2

By Kay Christopher

Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips

Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts

Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers

Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes

Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings

Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes

According to the Almanac ......... 4 When to do what

Never Loose Money .................. 14

By Bob Tonachio

Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly

Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults

Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses

Can You Find Me多 ................... 22

FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER @

www.roanereader.com/findone Pick one up before they are all gone!

By The Phantom

Rockwood Memories ................ 23

By Ray Collet

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SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY

Things to do in Roane County

By O.I. Seenya • Another big, black bear spotted in the Walnut Hill area in Harriman.

• At one of our local schools: A sign for items to be picked up had a misspelled word, apparently written by a Teacher or Office Worker. The sign read "Fundrairer Items picked up here".

• The Roane County High School band entertaining at the last County Commission meeting by playing parts of all the battle songs of our service veterans.

• A man, standing on Roane St. in Harriman wearing a huge horse head. No, it wasn’t Halloween.

Happy Birthday

Mildred Miles Dec. 30th

Christmas Parades Dec. 1st - Kingston - 7:00 p.m.

Dec. 4th - Harriman - 7:00 p.m.

Dec. 6th - Oliver Springs - 5:30 p.m.

Dec. 8th - Rockwood - 7:00 p.m.

Christmas Tours: Rockwood Christmas Homes Tour Dec. 6th - Noon - 6:00 p.m. $15 Dec. 7th - 1 p.m. - 5 p.m.

Christmas Candlelight Tour at the Fort Kingston, Dec. 13th Noon - 6 p.m.

Historic Harriman Christmas Tour Dec. 13th - Noon - 6 p.m. $15 Dec. 14th - 1 p.m. - 6 p.m.

DECEMBER 2014

Precious Memories By: Kay Christopher

The old coal stove

Kids nowadays don’t know what it’s like to wake up early in the morning and have to huddle around the old coal stove to get warm before getting ready for school.

The stove we had while growing up in Emory Gap was an old top-feeding coal stove. Most everyone in the gap had coal stoves and a big coal pile in their yard.

The stove had to be “shaken ” down and the ashes taken out everyday.

Now to do this, you had to shake the handle at the bottom to release the powdered ash.

You then took the ashes outside in a pan that had a handle, and you would spread them on the dirt/graveled driveway.

The ash would be so thick in the air in the house, you could write your name on the furniture. And you could even taste it in your mouth. (the coal ash spill at the steam-plant was nothing compared to what we breathed and swallowed in our homes back then).

Almost everyone had a woodpile and a coal-pile in their yards.

There were two types of coal--lump or slack. Lump was better because you have to shovel the slack up.

My brothers, Jerry and Larry’s job was to bring in the coal and wood at night. This required a coal bucket that was placed behind the stove to be used during the night and the next day.

In the winter, mama would cook a big pot of beans on the stove every Monday, and every other day, she’d keep a pot of water on top of it to help take the ash dust out of the air.

Seems like our winters were so much colder back then, and that old coal stove sure helped keep us from freezing to death.

Keep Jesus in the season We will mail you a copy of The Roane Reader each month for a year for only $16. Send the address Phone # and a check to:

our new location is

230 SOUTH ROANE ST. HARRIMAN - NEXT TO SEARS Thanks to our wonderful community and their support,

we are moving to a bigger location!

We look forward to serving you for another 30 years!

OPEN 9:00am - 4:30pm Monday - Friday

(865) 882-8556 email:cochranstax@mindspring.com

w w w. c o c h r a n s t a x . c o m

The Roane Reader 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, TN 37748

www.roanereader.com/subscriptions The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership.

Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748.

We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.

Happy Birthday

Kay Christopher Dec. 31st

New Shipment of Mattresses & Box Springs Many to Choose From!

1238 S. Roane St Harriman,Tn 37748 (865) 387-3572 For even more info

DECEMBER 2014

Tennessee Department of Health Announces Ebola Resources For Tennesseans

Message: 1. Tennesseans with questions about the disease may call a toll-free number to obtain accurate, timely information: 1-877-857-2945.

This number will be active starting Oct. 22, 2014.

2. TDH is providing additional information about Ebola virus disease on our website, including summaries of weekly activities and adding links to other sources of reliable information: http://health.state.tn.us/Ceds/ebola.htm.

3. Should a confirmed case occur in Tennessee, the department will make a public announcement and post information to the TDH website: http://health.state.tn.us/.

"We are glad there is increased awareness about this disease and we especially appreciate the efforts of our health care partners in prevention, detection and response planning," said TDH Commissioner John Dreyzehner, MD, MPH. "We all need to have an understanding of where the current risk exists and to make sure our concerns are based on facts and not on rumors."

"If you have not traveled to Liberia, Guinea or Sierra Leone within the last 21 days and if you have not been exposed to body fluids of a confirmed Ebola virus disease patient, you do not have an appreciable risk for Ebola," said State Epidemiologist Tim Jones, MD. "This is not an airborne disease, so those most at risk are people who have been in contact with body fluids of a confirmed patient, especially healthcare workers, family members and friends."

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R.I.P. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun

lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, -by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers; - I Know My Rights - I Want It Now - Someone Else Is To Blame - I'm A Victim - Pay me for Doing Nothing Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

With cold and flu season approaching, many people across Tennessee will develop fevers and have nausea which may cause additional concern this year. Health care providers may ask more questions about a patient's symptoms and travel history, which is part of an effective effort to provide care and to stop the spread of all illnesses.

Getting a flu vaccine can eliminate one reason for a trip to the doctor.

"Flu represents a clear and present danger and every year too many Tennesseans unnecessarily die from this common illness," Dreyzehner said. "Some incorrectly regard flu as a really bad cold.

It's not; it can and does kill many every flu season. If you have not had your flu shot or nasal spray yet, we urge you to get it now. It could save your life."

The mission of the Tennessee Department of Health is to protect, promote and improve the health and prosperity of people in Tennessee. TDH has facilities in all 95 counties and provides direct services for more than one in five Tennesseans annually as well as indirect services for everyone in the state, including emergency response to health threats, licensure of health professionals, regulation of health care facilities and inspection of food service establishments. Learn more about TDH services and programs at http://health.state.tn.us/.

Fun Things To Do While Driving • Roll down your windows and blast talk radio while head banging.

• Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rear-view mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.

• Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.

• At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.

• Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.

• At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.

• Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.

• Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

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according to the almanac DECEMBER 2014

Temperature 44° (4 below avg.)

Precipitation 5.5" (2" above avg.)

Dec 1-6: Rain, then sunny, cool; Dec 7-13: Snow north, sunny, cold; Dec 14-18: Showers, mild south; Dec 19-20: Sunny, cold; Dec 21-28: T-storms, then sunny/cold; Dec 29-31: Rain and snow, bitter cold.

Best Days To....

DECEMBER 2014

The Farmer

A farmer was going down the road on the edge of town with his tractor and had a wagon pulling behind.

As they passed and old folks home an old man was sitting in his rocking chair on the porch.

He yells to the farmer, “What have you got on the wagon?”

The farmer yells back that he is hauling chicken manure.

The old man ask, “What are you going to use it on?”

The farmer yells back that he is going to spread it over his strawberry's.

The old man yells back, “You should stop in here because we use whipping cream on ours.

Entertainment

Fun Things To Do At A Movie Theater

Hum the theme song of the movie out loud.

Make finger puppets in front of the projector.

When gunshots ring out in the movie yell, "Bang! Bang!"

Use a whoopee cushion. ('Nuff said.)

Wear a top hat, a big one.

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" And then giggle like a bunch of little girls loudly during the kissing scenes.

Clap and cheer when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast forward it?"

When the bad guy is about to do something devious, yell at the top of your lungs, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

If you've seen the movie before, at the climax, yell out what happens next.

Gently, very softly, place a single kernel of popcorn on the head of the man in front of you.

Say that this person can't sit next to you because your invisible friend is sitting there.

Stare at the person sitting across the aisle from you, then quickly look back at the screen when they look at you. Then, when they turn away, stare again.

Sit beside a stranger and ask "How are you doing?" See what kind of conversation you can start.

Begin diet to gain weight.............................4,31 Begin diet to lose weight...........................13,18 Breed animals............................................22,23 Castrate animals........................................24,25 Happy Birthday Cut hair to discourage growth...................15,16 to a Great Cut hair to encourage growth................3,4,30,31 Mom and Sister Cut Hay................................................1,2,28,29 In the lobby Bump into someone and pretend it causes you to fall down. See if Betty Destroy pests and weeds......................1,2,28,29 they apologize.

Harvest aboveground crops...................3,4,30,31 Sampson Walk behind someone until he/she turns around. Then say, "What?"

(You should look very confused, so it makes them be confused also.)

Harvest belowground crops......................13,14 Dec. 16th Walk behind someone and have an argument with yourself.

Have dental care........................................13,14 (It's even better if you talk in two different voices.)

Plant aboveground crops ..........................26,27 “Being deeply loved Have a bottle of water and go up to people saying, "Thirsty?"

(See how many people you can get to drink from your bottle.)

Plant belowground crops.............................18,19 by someone gives Go to a public drinking fountain and offer to hold down the button.

Prune to discourage growth.......................20,21 Then press it down halfway and when the person leans forward press you strength; it down all the way to soak their face.

Prune to encourage growth..................1,2,28,29 loving someone Run at top speed by some people yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO." Quit smoking.............................................13,18 deeply gives you Fall down and when somebody tries to help you up scream, "get away from me!".

Set posts or pour concrete.........................22,23 courage.”

Roll a tennis ball and run after it crying.

Slaughter livestock....................................18,19 Start projects.............................................23,24 TimeWise Repair Wean animals or children..........................13,18 ®

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What does it mean if your barometer is falling?

A drop in air pressure opens the door for winds and precipitation -- often in the form of rain and snow. Fair weather (sun and high visibility) usually corresponds to high air pressure.

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DECEMBER 2014

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Government and Religion * First colonies – Jamestown, Va. First community bldg was a church. Only building with wall still standing. * Puritans first act at Plymouth Rock = kneel, praise and dedicate new colony. * Roger Williams (Bapt. Minister) established Rhode Island. * Lord Baltimore held church service in establishing Maryland. * William Penn (Quaker) est. Penn, NY, DEL, Conn, NC, SC, Georgia. * When you read their writings you see no doubt that God birthed America. * Will Penn in writing government policies for PA made sure “all treasurers, judges, and all elected officials professed faith in Christ.”

We must never forget what God has done in the past for America. We must have our eyes opened to see what God is doing for America in the present. Then we must realize what God will do to America in the future. * House of Representatives - across speakers’ seat – sculpture of Moses. * President George Washington said, "It is impossible to govern the world without God and the Bible.

Of all dispositions and habits that lead to political prosperity, our religion and morality are indispensable supporters." * In 1782, the U.S. Congress voted in favor of a resolution recommending and approving the Bible for use in the schools. * Henry Laurens, fourth president of the Continental Congress, stated, "I had the honor of being one who framed the Constitution. In order effectually to accomplish these great constitutional ends, it is especially the duty of those who bear rule to promote and encourage respect for God and virtue."

Our Founding Fathers consistently spoke of the need for utilizing the Bible and Judeo-Christian values in defining and preserving this nation: * Twelve of the original 13 colonies incorporated the entire Ten Commandments into their civil and criminal codes. * Our laws based on 10 commandments and Bible.

Supreme Court bldg - built 1935 – carved on front Moses and Ten Commandments. [justices must enter back way!]

5 The Roane Reader

A reader’s response to our spanking article

How Did You Turn Out? Lately I talked to a daycare worker and also visited a school. The daycare instructs the workers to never use the word "no". Seven times in one day the worker was bitten by a 3 year old child. My mother would not have put up with me biting her one time much less 3.

I know the switches, the sting, the little red marks on the legs, but they taught me how to behave. Yes and no were the basic words of early learning, No, don't spit on people, No, Johnny don't poke your fingers in her eyes. Yes, you can go outside, Yes, you did a very good job. Now we go to the older classroom where the teacher has to deal with this child running around the room disrupting class. Hits the children on the playground, her hands are tied.

Our teachers had a paddle on their desk and if we misbehaved we went out in the hallway and was disciplined.

Does anyone remember Mrs. May, Mrs. Weaver, Caye Hawn, Coach Rose, Mr. Medley, etc... The majority of us turned out law abiding citizens.

- Darlene Edwards

The police came to my house earlier & said my dog had chased someone on a bike. I said, you must be joking officer, my dog hasn’t got a bike.

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DECEMBER 2014

Tribute: Submit your Memorials, Dedications or just lift up those you love - FREE In Loving Memory of Cole Heide 5-1-83 to 9-16-03 The lights are twinkling on our tree It’s framed in the window for all to see The smells of Christmas are in the air The stockings are hung with special care The gifts are wrapped with shiny bows All is ready for Christmas, as far as that goes But for us, all is not ready for you’re not here And that takes away so much Christmas cheer We so miss the joy and the love that you shared And we miss all the ways you showed us you cared For Christmas to be ready we need you with us To share in the laughter, the fun, and the fuss So we’ll do what we can to make it through And celebrate Christmas again without you But we know someday our Christmas will be whole And we’ll celebrate in Heaven with you, our sweet Cole

Christmas is a special time for families as we enjoy dinner and sit around beautifully decorated tree.

Talking about ornaments that have been passed down through the years and which child made what ornaments in school. Handing out gifts and watching faces light up as we see that one special gift we were hoping for. Reminiscing of Holidays past and how much love there has always been in your family. Then suddenly one day you loose a cherished family member. A grandparent, parent, sibling, or a child. You know your family circle is now broken, and will never be the same. It doesn’t matter if its been a month, a year, or 20 years that heartache is there and that pain never dulls. You try your best to move on, put a smile on your face and trust God to help you through but it is still there, until you take your last breath. You cry alone and with your family who are still here to endure this pain with you. You trust in God to give you the strength to carry on. You know you will see your loved ones again someday. For me and my family our loved ones may be gone but they will never be forgotten.

My grandparents, Gabe, and Nita Smith, Dorothy McAlpin, Cole Armour, my precious son, Cole Duane Heide.

In these 11 years without you the heartache hasn’t gone away. We remember you in so many aspects of our lives. You will always be missed, gone but not forgotten, living forever in our harts and in each tear drop that falls.

This year I send out so much love to all my friends who have lost loved ones. You are loved and thought of each day.

Merry Christmas in Heaven Cole Duane Heide We love you Our beloved son, cousin, nephew, and grandson. You are missed with each breath we take by your Mom- Jill Cole, Aunt Non & Uncle Mike (Mike and Joni Mann), Nin and Grand (Johnny and Darla Cole) And sometimes, I think, most of all cousin Barrett Mann, who was more like a brother to you than a cousin.

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When we are children, we are happy and gay and our mother is young and laughs as we play. As we grow up she teaches us truth and lays foundation in the days of our youth, then it is time for us to leave home, But her teachings go with us where ever we roam, all that she taught us and all that we did when we were so often just a “bad little kid” we will often remember and then realize that mothers are special and wonderfully wise. As we grow older we look back with love and know mothers are gifts from above, when she “goes home” to receive her reward, she will dwell in God’s Kingdom and be with the Lord. There in God’s kingdom she’ll watch from above to welcome her children with undying love.

Loving memories this Christmas. I love and miss you mom and mam-maw. Son - Travis Rich, Grandchildren - Brianna & Ansliegh Rich, Dad and Mom - Jimmie & Josie Hall, Sister - Marie Dedmon, Son - Jimmy Rodney Owens & Husband & Father- James Ansley Owens.

Another Christmas came and gone the way things are, it wont be long we’ll all be together around God’s throne.

We all love and miss you. The Owens Family.

Merry Christmas in Heaven

Merry Christmas in Heaven Sadly missed by all your family Written with love from your aunt Joni

A &

In memory of Sherri Faye Owens

Happy Birthday

Alicia Christopher Dec. 30th

Sandra Freeman Housley Wishes her family a

Very Merry Christmas and a

Happy New Year

To Angelia Mayo

My prayer for you: I pray you would know that God has great things in store for your life. He is a wonderful, loving Father and He has an amazing future for you. May you trust in His plans no matter how things look right now.

We want to pray for you!

If you have a need please contact us anytime, we are here to encourage you and will put you on a pray list, pray over you or try to help with your needs anyway we can. We want to show you the love of Christ - Roane Reader (865) 882-9340

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DECEMBER 2014

Obituaries

Oct. 25th John C. Kidd, 69, Philadelphia Kitty Malenovsky, 74, Harriman Oct. 26th Kaine Bailes, 27, Harriman Oct. 27th Michael Johnson, 65, Ten Mile Emma J. Setcer, Oliver Spgs Billie E. Lynn, 92, Rockwood Oct. 28th Joe W. Webb, 52, Philadelphia

Nov. 8th Robert W. Lynn, 93, Kingston Nancy Copeland, 82, Harriman Nov. 9th Roger A. Gibson, 59, Harriman Debbie Johnson, 61, Oliver Spgs Nov. 10th Linda C. Billings, 67, Harriman Nov. 11th Linda Shular, 61, Rockwood Nov. 12th Darlene Scarbrough, 55, Harriman Jake O. Harvey, 88, Kingston “Danny” Robinson, 62, Rockwood Douglas Scarbro, 73, Rockwood Helen Nelson, 88, Dyllis Sarah J. Bailey, 26, Ten Mile Etta Patterson, 95, Harriman Nov. 13th Tony Clough, 72, Harriman

Janet Hallcox Lynn, 66, Paint Rock

Oct. 29th Jackie L. Davis, 65, Harriman Carolyn Byrge, 60, Oliver Spgs Oct. 30th Amy Workman, 43, Kingston “Copper” Bacon, 75, Rockwood Oct. 31st Joe McGinnis, 78, Rockwood Nov. 1st Ruth Ann Grice, 83, Harriman Nov. 2nd Maurice Hensley, 76, Harriman Nov. 3rd “Brigitte” Gibson, 54, Harriman Nov. 4th Gregg Bledsoe, 53, Harriman Steven D. Wright, 34, Kingston Nov. 6th Ellis Kerns, 86, Harriman Margie Futrell, 90, Harriman Arettia Bowling, 92, Rockwood Danny Shadden, 57, Rockwood Sybil Parish Parker, 73, Kingston

Gillis Narramore, 81, Kingston “Chuck” Brown, 42, Harriman Nov. 14th Terry Lee Crowe, 58, Harriman Whitley E. Terry, 27, Harriman Nov. 15th Kay Ward Goad, 69, Harriman Nov. 16th “Jim” F. Stinnett, 80, Harriman Joni Futrell Cook, 31, Rockwood Nov. 17th Mary Roberts, 64, Oliver Spgs Nov. 18th Kelly Pickard Hall, 37, Harriman Dennis Baird, 73, Rockwood Vonnie Crawford, 69, Rockwood “Ken” R. Burton, 71, Rockwood Nov. 20th William Pesterfield 74, Kingston Robert E. Witt, 73, Harriman Nov. 21st Don P. Williams, 79, Coalfield

Happy Birthday Justin Christopher Dec. 27th

“GO VOLS!”

7 The Roane Reader

Someone’s under my bed

Heavenly Humor

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the Ever since I was a child, I’ve book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternate- always had a fear of someone ly stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, under my bed at night. So I went to a Psychiatrist and told him "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s some"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." body under it. I’m scared. I think Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting I’m going crazy. "Just put yourself in my hands for one better at it, isn't he?" year," said the psychiatrist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------"Come talk to me three times a The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, and as week and we should be able to he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mic get rid of those fears." "How cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the much do you charge?" "Eighty cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles dollars per visit," replied the and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and doctor. whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

"I’ll sleep on it and if needed I ---------------------------------------------------------------------------will come back to you," I said.

Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting Six months later the Psychiatogether in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, trist met me on the street. his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were in church." having?" he asked. "Well, "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot men standing by the door? of money! A bartender cured me They're hushers."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, and bought me a new SUV." 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. "Is that so!" With a bit of an Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were attitude he said, "and how, may I sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I ask, did a bartender cure you?" can wait.'

"He told me to cut the legs off Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Okay Ryan, you be the bed – ain’t nobody under Jesus!" there now!"

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Traditional Funerals

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The Roane Reader

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Bible Quest

How many elders sat around the throne of God? What order did Joshua give to God while fighting the Amorites?

How many years did the Lord add to Hezekiahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life after being healed of his sickness?

What was the second plague upon Egypt?

Which disciple looked after Mary, after the death of Jesus?

Jesus was a high priest after the order of which ancient king, mentioned in Psalm 110?

Which two provinces looked up to Thessalonica as an example?

Who was Noahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father?

Who did Pilate send Jesus to after he had interrogated him?

Daniel had a dream about four things. What sort of things?

The Christmas Service Young Eddie was spending Christmas with his grand parents.

On Christmas morning the family went to church. While they were waiting to go in Eddie checked all the announcements, and pictures along the walls.

When he came to a group of pictures of men in uniform, he asked a nearby verger, 'Who are all those men in the pictures?'

The verger replied, 'Why, those are our boys who died in the service'.

Dumbfounded, the Jonathan asked, 'Was that the Christmas Day service?'

Bible Quest Answers (Rev 4:4) (Josh 10:12-14) (2 Ki 20:6) (Exo 8:6) (John 19:26-27) (Ps 110:4) (1 Th 1:7) (Gen 5:28-29) (Luke 23:7) (Dan 7:3) Last months BIBLE QUEST answer: WHALE

Bible Page Sponsored By

Bible Beat

DECEMBER 2014

You can play this online @

www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/C4cShepherdsVisitBabyJesus.html

Shepherds Visit Baby Jesus, Luke 2:15-20

On Christmas Day many people visit relatives and friends to celebrate the gift that God the Father gave us, Jesus Christ. Next time you visit someone, pray that God bless them with love and peace.

Across 4. as soon as 5. understood 6. surprised 7. form of be 10. human pump for blood 12. entire 14. people who protect sheep 18. owned 19. not at home 21. detected sounds 22. objective case of they 24. memo 26. the other one from that 27. left 29. giving praise 31. used eyes to witness 33. shining back 34. hurry Down 1. spouse of Mary 2. used to be 3. flat on your back 4. question word to find out the item being talked about 5. held onto 6. spiritual workers of God 7. town where Jesus was born

8. discovered 9. created 11. observe 13. maker of heaven and earth 15. place where God and angels live 16. giving approval 17. said

A Christmas Prayer

by Robert Louis Stevenson

20. pronoun for people 22. items 23. brought back 25. baby 28. mother of Jesus 30. fair 32. which person

Happy Birthday

Warren Kocher

Loving Father, Help us remember the birth of Jesus, that we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and worship of the wise men.

Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world.

Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting.

865-376-3030

851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763

Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts.

May the Christmas morning make us happy to be thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake. Amen.

Dec. 1st

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DECEMBER 2014

You can play this online @

www.joanyedwards.com/wordsearch/C4cShepherdsVisitBabyJesus.html

Shepherds Visit Baby Jesus, Luke 2:15-20 Today you are the shepherd told to visit the baby, Jesus. Today rejoice because Jesus was a baby like you and me. Today Jesus might have been born in a taxi cab in a big city because Joseph and Mary did not have money to pay the doctors and nurses. Pray that people help train poor mothers and fathers and help them find jobs to get money and/or insurance. Then more babies will be born in a place where they get the care they deserve.

N H E A O I R W H A F T R E T U R I S G

E H W B O N E L I S L E D A H G R S H N A E W I A E K V N H O U E O B A W E E A Y H W H S F O U H O W E S S A L Y L O R all amazed angels away been Bethlehem by found

M G H G R S N N E T D I G N A Y N T S F A H T I M P T R E W J O T H O L Z C S G W T E O H R P L O E H W E M A A A N N S A T H T M H E L A E D H I A A S I D M A glorifying God had haste heard heart heaven infant

N S M Y N B K K H E E W F L N R Y M H G

B E T R E T H B E H E A L T P Y O E N O T N O P E A E T H S G I R N A W M W S E T D E R G R T O I F D A D E T A H A N G Joseph just kept known lying made manger Mary

H L E H U R N E T H L E R T S S T I I B H A W H R E I W R N R E G T H D Y E H A A H E K A R A H A U D H S N T E U E M A L D M A J U S T Z A M A W W A W E L M A message praising returned saw see shepherds them they

E D I A T B Y Y L S E E V E N W E W A N

M G N K E N G O L A O N R G I E Y I I W M H Y R N F W E O E N D K J H O Y S G E things this told went were what when who

Cave Creek Missionary Baptist Church presents

Born Again Christmas Sunday

December 14th, 2014

6:00 PM

Everyone Welcome!

390 Harvey Road, Kingston

G Y T H N E V A E H E H E A V L Y I T O

9 The Roane Reader

Bible Beat It was the Sunday after Christmas at a Church. The pastor was looking at the nativity scene prior to packing away the figures when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the scene.

Immediately, he turned towards the office in order to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Harry with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

The pastor walked up to Harry and said, 'Well, Harry, where did you get the little infant?'

Harry replied honestly, 'I took him from the church.'

'And why did you take him?'

With a sheepish smile, Harry said, 'Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it.'

Bible Trivia

Why are the Thessalonians told not to worry about those Christians who have died?

In the parable of the sower, what happened to the seed that fell on the path?

What was the name of the man who requested Jesus’ body for burial?

How many Philistines did Samson say he had killed with the jawbone of a donkey?

Which book of the Bible precedes Jonah?

Who did Samuel anoint as the first King of Israel?

What was mankind’s first sin in the Bible?

What was the first bird released from the ark?

What nationality was Timothy’s father?

In Revelation, what is the “number of a man”?

Trivia Answers: They will be raised to life again Eaten by birds Joseph (of Arimathaea) 1,000 Obadiah

Saul Eating some fruit Raven Greek 666

3rd Annual Festival of Lights with Santa Saturday

Dec. 6th from 1-6 p.m.

Sunday

Dec. 7th 1-6 p.m.

We invite our neighbors to take a relaxing stroll through our beautiful Christmas Wonderland display in our lobby and large courtyard.

Refreshments will be served. Bring your children and a camera to have a photo with Santa!

No ticket necessary - free event Hosted by

Rockwood Village Apartments 601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, TN 37854 ,h ĂīŽƌĚĂďůĞ ^ĞŶŝŽƌ >ŝǀŝŶŐ ŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJ EŽǁ ĂĐĐĞƉƟŶŐ ĂƉƉůŝĐĂŶƚƐ ϱϱ LJƌƐ͘ Θ ŽůĚĞƌ Žƌ ĚŝƐĂďůĞĚ͘

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10 The Roane Reader

DECEMBER 2014

Facts about the lunar landing

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

* The Apollo 11 mission insignia was designed by crew member Michael Collins. On astronaut Jim Lovell's advice, he chose an eagle (which he originally traced from a National Geographic book) preparing to land on the surface of the moon with an olive branch in its beak. NASA, however, felt the eagle's talons looked too aggressive, so Collins resubmitted the design with the eagle holding the olive branch in its claws.

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4. Call the Psychic Hot-line from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

15. Swat at flies that don't exist.

16. Tell people that you can see their aura.

17. Call out, "group hug!" then enforce it.

18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

27. Hide a squirt gun in your hand and pretend to sneeze next to someone.

28. Throw a fake spider on the ground and squeal with fear.

29. Hum the Jeopardy theme song between floors.

30. Stare at someone for a long time, then say, "who are you? What do I REALLY know about you?"

31) Bring a violin or guitar case on and make a big show of trying to hide it from everyone and say "It's only a violin/guitar, honest!"

32) Twitch for about 5 minutes, then when the doors open on your floor run out screaming, "They're after meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

* Upon entering the lunar module to begin their journey home, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong discovered that a switch on a crucial circuit breaker was broken, leaving them without a way to ignite the engine. They tried to sleep while NASA’s mission control worked out a solution, but Aldrin eventually decided to jam his felt-tip pen into the mechanism to use as a make-shift switch, and it worked. *According to Collins himself, the astronauts were plagued by "gross flatulence" as a result of excess bubbles in their beverages.

"The drinking water is laced with hydrogen bubbles," he wrote in his 1974 autobiography "Carrying the Fire: An Astronaut's Journeys." "These bubbles produced gross flatulence in the lower bowel, resulting in a not-so-subtle and pervasive aroma which reminds me of a mixture of wet dog and marsh gas." * The original footage from the lunar camera is gone. First noticed missing in 2006, the tapes were likely erased and reused to record data beaming back from one of several satellites launched in the 1980s. This lost footage, which was much clearer that what viewers saw on television, survives only in the broadcast formats. * Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon for two reasons: firstly, because he was the senior astronaut of the two that descended to the lunar surface from the command module; and secondly, because the design of the lunar module forced him out before Aldrin.

The placement of the hinges on the hatch made it so the door opened toward Aldrin, boxing him in. Armstrong, on the other hand, had a clear path. (Aldrin was apparently very upset by this.) *According to the astronauts who landed there, the moon has a smell. After tracking moon dust back into the lunar module and removing their helmets, astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin thought the lunar materials smelled of "wet ashes in a fireplace" and "gunpowder," respectively. But back here on Earth, our oxygen-rich atmosphere renders the moon dust odor-free.

Did you know that...

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(865-376-4484)

Made to Order & We Stock: • Fresh Holiday Arrangements • Gourmet Cupcakes • Ornaments • Single Silk Stems • Christmas Trees, Ribbon & Bows • Gifts, Gift Wrapping • Door Wreaths, Table Arrangements, Gift Baskets, Gourmet Baskets.

Our Services Include: • We Deliver Local & Send Nationwide.

• One-Of-A-Kind Shopping in our Attic Fanatics Marketplace.

• Re-Work your Older Silk Pieces & Bring them Back to Life.

• Specialty Cakes from the Infamous Cupcake Haven & all your Favorite Flavors of our Gourmet Cupcakes.

• Gift wrapping is FREE for any gift you buy with US. :)

103 First St. Kingston, TN

Antibiotics aim to kill bacteria but are useless against viruses.

In Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein," Frankenstein is the name of the Scientist...NOT the monster.

Fish bowls don't provide the proper amount of Oxygen and are actually terrible homes for fish.

There is a vent at the top of Port-a-Pottys that releases the smell up and out, but this only works if everyone puts the seat down.

The blood flowing in your veins is red and nothing is blue. The blue comes from the way light hits your skin.

Nine months before Rosa Parks refused to relinquish her seat to a white person, Claudette Colvin did the exact same thing.

There's a myth that Daddy Long-leg spiders are the most venomous spiders in the world and that they just don't like to bite humans, but this is false. Their venom isn't fatal to humans.

A strawberry isn't considered a berry, but a watermelon is.

Honey never spoils. Therefore, you can eat honey that is 10,000 years old.

Peanuts are considered legumes because they grow in the ground which makes them different than nuts.

Hippo milk is pink.

A human can swim through the arteries of a whale's heart because the heart is THAT big.

Speaking of hearts...an octopus has three!

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DECEMBER 2014

11 The Roane Reader

Why I think Santa Claus is a woman....

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning and find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: - Men can't pack a bag.

- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.

- Men don't answer their mail.

Thought For The Day 39.2 percent of shoppers will purchase a department store gift card for friends and family, followed by 33.4 percent of shoppers opting for a restaurant gift card. But according to estimates reported in the Journal of State Taxation, the typical American home has an average of $300 in unused or "unredeemed" gift cards. These cards are often misplaced, accidentally thrown out, or only partially redeemed.

Between 2005 and 2011, $41 billion in gift cards went... unused.

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Owned and operated by Howard Clower

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12 The Roane Reader

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes

Household Hints To dry nail polish in a hurry, spray nails with PAM Oil Spray.

Remove Planter's Warts with banana peels. Before bedtime tape a banana peel inside to the skin, over the wart, and cover with a bandage. Within a couple of days the wart will be gone.

Olive oil can be added to bath water for a skin softener.

To prevent hair pins from falling out, bend one prong in a "V" about halfway up and insert in hair. It will stay.

Old lipstick tubes, thoroughly cleaned, are great for purse-sized pill boxes or for pins.

Use a lazy Susan at the bedside to enable sick to reach more items.

Emergency Sinus Relief - swab white vinegar high up in the nostrils.

To remove chewing gum from clothing, upholstery or carpets, heat some white vinegar in a pan and apply it to the gum.

To make ironing easier place a sheet of kitchen foil on the board under the cover, which helps reflect the heat.

When you are doing your laundry put any underwear inside a pillowcase. It will keep all those items together and make it easier for sorting everything once it comes out the wash. You can buy mesh bags designed especially for this.

Tumble dry pillows in a hot tumble dryer once a week for 15 minutes to freshen them and get rid of dust mites.

Separate your clothes by season. If you have a wardrobe with a shelf over the rails, place current seasons clothes on the rails and move out of season clothes on to the shelf. Categorize your clothes by purpose, such as work, casual, and formal.

If you have deodorant stains on your clothes, gently sponge the area with white vinegar. Leave for a few minutes and then wash in hot water.

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DECEMBER 2014

HATTIE SHILLINGS

It’s Christmas time! Whether you’re planning to give it away, or eat it all yourself--homemade candy is a must for the holidays. Here’s some easy recipes you can try.

No-Bake Chocolate-Peanut Butter Candy Bars

24 creme-filled chocolate sandwich cookies 1 cup coarsely chopped honey-roasted peanuts 1 2/3 cups peanut butter chips 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips 4 cups miniature marshmallows 4 Peanut butter crunchy granola bars 1/4 cup creamy peanut butter 1 (14-oz.) can sweetened condensed milk 1/4 cup butter or margarine 1 teaspoon vegetable oil Line bottom and sides of 13x9-inch glass baking dish with foil, leaving foil hanging over 2 opposite sides of pan. Finely chop cookies.

In 2-quart saucepan, cook marshmallows and butter over low heat, stirring constantly, until melted.

Stir in chopped cookies and 3/4 cup of the chocolate chips until well mixed. Press in bottom of baking dish. In microwavable bowl, microwave condensed milk and peanut butter chips uncovered on High 60 seconds, stirring once until smooth. Stir in peanut butter. Stir in peanuts and crushed granola bars.

Spread over chocolate layer.

Microwave remaining 1/4 cup chocolate chips and the oil uncovered on High 30 seconds or until chips can be stirred smooth. Drizzle chocolate diagonally over peanut butter layer. Refrigerate until set. Remove bars from pan, using foil to lift. Cut into 8 rows by 4 rows.

Chocolate-Marshmallow Pillows

1 pouch double chocolate chunk cookie mix 1 egg 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips 1 teaspoon vanilla 1/4 cup vegetable oil 2/3 cup chopped pecans 1/3 cup whipping cream 1/2 cup powdered sugar 2 tablespoons water 12 large marshmallows, cut in half 1 teaspoon butter or margarine Heat oven to 350°. In large bowl, stir cookie mix, oil, water, egg and pecans until soft dough forms.

Onto ungreased cookie sheets, drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart.

Bake 7 minutes. Remove from oven; immediately press marshmallow half lightly, cut side down, on top of cookie. Bake 1 to 2 minutes longer or just until marshmallows begin to soften. Cool 2 minutes; remove from cookie sheets to cooling racks. Cool completely, about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, in 1-quart nonstick saucepan, melt chocolate chips over low heat, stirring until smooth.

Remove from heat. Add whipping cream, butter and vanilla; blend well. Stir in powdered sugar until smooth. Spread frosting over each cooled cookie, covering marshmallow.

Easy Peanut Butter Fudge

2 cups granulated white sugar ½ cup milk

1 cup peanut butter (smooth or chunky) 1 tsp vanilla extract

Grease an 8x8-inch baking pan. In a medium saucepan, bring sugar and milk to a boil. Allow to boil for about 2½ minutes, stirring regularly, and then remove from heat. Add the peanut butter and vanilla and stir until smooth. Pour the mixture into the pan and allow to cool until set. Slice into 1-inch squares.

Hide that clutter with a Kids' Play Tent

NOTICE

Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences.

The Roane Reader

Let me guess — your child is not a neat freak. Very few kids are!

If her chores have been slipping and her room or play area looks like a disaster area, it may be time to invest in a play tent. From the outside it will always look cute — even if it contains a tornado of toys, books, and stuffed animals.

Merry Christmas From

The Roane Reader Justin Stout & Kay Christopher

www.roanereader.com

DECEMBER 2014

Use Tennis Balls to...

Clothes Closet

Store valuables. Make a two-inch slit along one seam of a tennis ball, Zipper stuck? Rub the lead tip of then place valuables inside. a pencil or a bar of soap along Fluff your down jackets or down comforters and reduce static cling. the zipper's teeth. The lubrication Throw in a handful of balls while jacket is tumbling in dryer. The will get it moving. balls keep the feathers from clumping together so they're spread out Remove gum from clothes. evenly throughout the comforter or pillow.

Put some ice cubes in a plastic Childproof sharp corners of furniture. Cut old balls into halves or zipper-type bag and put the bag quarters and use packing tape to affix the sections over sharp corners, on the gum. After a few minutes, you should be able to scrape off Make parking cars in garage easier. Having a tennis ball on a string the gum with the edge of a knife. from the garage ceiling so it will hit the windshield at the spot where you should stop your car.

Get rid of perspiration stains on clothing. Soak in salt water and Prevent a chrome trailer hitch from getting scratched. Slit a ball and wash, or apply baking soda paste put it over the trailer hitch as a protective cover. and let sit. Or, put white vinegar Make a walker glide more easily. Cut a hole in two balls and fit them on the stain. Wait 30 minutes and then wash the shirt in the hottest on the back feet of the walker. water safe for the fabric.

Give yourself a foot massage. Roll your foot over a tennis ball.

Repair skirt or pants. If you need Remove cobwebs from unreachable places. Wrap a tennis ball inside a small bit of cloth to repair a a dust cloth secured with a few rubber bands and toss at the distant skirt or some pants use material cobweb. from inside the pocket or hem.

It's an exact match and you can Strengthen your grip. Squeeze a tennis ball in each hand. replace the hidden fabric with Prevent snoring. Sew a ball inside a pocket on the back of your almost anything and it won't pajama top to prevent you from sleeping on your back. show.

Prevent a deck chair from slipping through the cracks of a deck. Slit Make socks white again. Boil in four tennis balls, fit them on the feet of the deck chair. water with lemon slice.

Make a back massager. Put several tennis balls inside a sock and tie When tips come off shoe laces. the sock at the end.

Harden ends with nail polish.

Keep your car door open without wasting the battery. Wedge a tennis Tired of retying your kids ball into the door jamb to depress the interior light switch. shoelaces? Spritz the tied laces with water and they'll stay tied Top Ten Reasons Santa needs a Raise longer.

10. The hours, the weather, the trend toward smaller chimneys.

9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.

8. Reindeer and elves have unionized, driving up his cost.

7. New tax on flying sleighs.

6. Insurance for flying a sleigh has tripled over the past two years.

5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.

4. Air traffic controllers demanding higher kickbacks.

3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.

2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.

1. The Mrs. told him to.

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Drying shoes. Stuff with newspaper to keep their shape.

Lift a fresh grease spot from a non-washable fabric shoe.

Sprinkle spot with cornstarch.

Let set, then brush

Make cleaning grease splatters on the wall behind the stove easier.

First, clean the painted wall behind your stove.

Then spray the entire area with a generous coat of furniture polish and buff well with paper towels. You will then be able to wipe future grease splatters away easily with a dry sheet of paper towels.

13 The Roane Reader

Penny Pinchers

* Unclog a drain by pouring in a cup of baking soda followed slowly by a cup of white vinegar – cover and let it sit for five minutes then pour down four liters of boiling water. * Clean copper and brass with salt and lemon juice (three parts salt to one juice). * To prevent car battery corrosion, smear lip balm on clean car battery terminals. * Condition your hair. Apply ½ cup whipped cream to dry hair once a week as a conditioner. Leave on for thirty minutes, then rinse a few times before shampooing thoroughly. * Has your sliding glass door stopped sliding? Spray your door tracks with aerosol furniture polish. The wax in the polish reduces friction plus it won't attract dirt. * Clean gold. An eraser gently scours gold-plated items such as pens and jewelry without damaging the material. * Fix leaks in inflatable inner-tubes, air mattresses, or air pillows.

Apply Krazy Glue to seal the hole or leaky valve stem. * Stop small leaks in a car radiator. Add a teaspoon of black pepper to your radiator. The pepper sinks to the bottom, finds its way into small holes, and expands, filling them. * Remove spots from rugs or carpets. Squirt shaving cream on stain, scrub, and wash with water. * Avoid stains on Tupperware. Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces.

Kingston

Christmas Bazaar Saturday, Dec 6th 10a.m.-3p.m.

Kingston Community Center Shop for Christmas Gifts Enjoy Lunch & benefit Kingston Swim Team Kid’s Activities: Candy Cane Run, Ages 8-12 (starts at 10 am) Candy Cane Hunt, Ages 3-7 (starts at 11am) Games and Crafts for Kids

Enter your homemade Gingerbread House in our

Gingerbread .House Contest The winner will receive a $75 Gift Card

Note: Gingerbread houses must be brought to the Community Center

by Wed. Dec. 3rd to be judged.

Houses will be displayed at Bazaar and the winner announced Proceeds from Bazaar used to offset costs of our annual “Smokin’ The Water” July 4 th Festival

For more details:

www.kingstonparks.com 865-376-1356

14 The Roane Reader

www.roanereader.com

DECEMBER 2014

Americans don’t save and invest as much as -- the Asians do. The Asian’s approach is the old-fashioned way of doing business.

This approach has ultimately created prosperous nations with vibrant economies and strong stock markets. our Retirement!

In the West, however, we have a big problem -- we spend and borrow -- we don't save. This creates spectacular busts, which are difficult to climb out of due to the big debt burdens. Because of this "spend and borrow" attitude, the S&P 500 saw a negative return for the first decade of the 21st century, while China and India did great -- despite the volatility. In fact, China and India have such vast room for development that they may beat anything that the S&P 500 has to offer in the next 10 years.

Bob Tonachio Due to the problems in the West, many central banks -- not just the Federal Reserve -- have embarked on ultra-easy monetary policies that have helped spur on the economic recovery we see at present. The ultra-easy monetary policies of the Western central banks are bullish for Asia as the continent offers the best investment opportunities. Since we don't see the ultra-easy monetary policies ending anytime soon, the party in Asia may last a long time. In fact, capital flows towards the places that offer the best returns -- and in the recent past, the Shanghai Composite registered a 78.8% return, while the Bombay Sensex returned 79.8% on a price-only basis. Any corrections are great buying opportunities in Asia.

The PBOC Has a Better Track Record than the Fed In difference with the U.S., the Chinese have a track record of addressing bubbles before they become problematic. They recently issued a warning report and have been doing a lot to curb lending that is necessary to survive in 2014.

From Bloomberg: "Rapid asset price increases in major markets since 2009 have been pushed by "ultra-loose" monetary policies by governments around the world and "don't mean real economies have recovered or will recover strongly," the People's Bank of China said in a report posted on its Web site recently. Such gains "unless they receive sufficient support from macroeconomic fundamentals, may lead to a new round of asset bubbles that may burst," the Beijing-based bank said."

Since not every central bank is as responsible as the PBOC, we may end up having a big inflationary problem in a couple of years as these ultra-easy monetary policies are unlikely to end soon. We have to stay invested in the best investment opportunities in the USA, but also guard against this inflationary threat.

Why we are positive Gold?

One way to guard against this problem is gold. We have been bullish on gold bullion since 2006. Gold has essentially doubled since then and it's likely to at least double once more, if not rise further… The recent correction in gold and silver appear to be good entry levels for investors not presently holding a sufficient amount of the yellow metal.

Gold bullion's inflation-adjusted all-time high from 1980 was about $2,500 per ounce. With all this printing it can easily surpass that in an inflationary environment. The most conservative way to invest in gold is by buying physical bullion bars and modern coins or a gold bullion ETF. The most popular such ETF is the SPDR Gold Trust (NYSE: GLD). “Some market experts refer to GLD as “Paper Gold” and call attention to risks of owning this ETF in place of actual physical gold. The Robert James Website, www.robertjames.us offers investors a direct link to a secure trading desk in London, where free research, charts and a view of actual trading taking place in various currencies is available. Access to the trading desk is free of charge. Call Robert James & Associates at 865-376-4925 for assistance if needed.

While we are not gold bugs here at Robert James & Associates, we definitely advise clients to consider precious metals to round out a portfolio. In the current environment, it makes a lot of sense to hold a reasonable amount of gold or silver bullion in addition to proven, guaranteed absolute return products as well as the stocks of quality companies with superior fundamentals.

We had reasonably tame inflation so far in 2014. Inflation may not be a problem for a while, but if this money printing by the FED continues, it will be a big problem. There are peculiarities that you need to be aware of when investing in precious metals other than gold – the others behave more like industrial metals. In other words, most of the uses for gold bullion are for precious metals purposes: as a store of value, jewelry and some industrial demand. Most of the uses of palladium, platinum and silver are for industrial use.

This is why in a weak economy, like the one we saw in 2008, gold was up while the rest of the precious metals declined; the more industrial uses for a particular precious metal the bigger the decline. In an improving economy with an inflationary threat on the horizon -- like the one we have at present -- all precious metals are likely to do well.

Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates, Inc. a national financial services company licensed and regulated in 30 states. He may be contacted at 865-376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700. Consultations are free of charge in Crossville, Kingston, Knoxville and Oak Ridge.

Don’t Needlessly Risk Your Retirement!

The traditional “three-legged stool” of retirement planning simply is no longer viable — and it hasn’t been for some time.

Traditionally, Americans looking to supplement their employer-sponsored retirement plans, Social Security and personal savings have generally turned to one place — Wall Street- But this vicious recession has turned the stock markets into such nebulous and volatile beasts, you never know when the index is going to bite you, or how much it’s going to devour before its finished ravaging your investments and your retirement.

Where else can pre-retirees turn? As it turns out, hybrid annuities — can provide benefits even a bullish market would be hard-pressed to beat; and chief among those benefits is a guaranteed stream of lifetime income that cannot be outlived.

For the right client, a suitable hybrid annuity can mitigate much of the anxiety surrounding retirement and increasing longevity…

Don’t Delay to Call: Kimberly, VP of Robert James & Associates, Inc.

1-865-376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700 for complete information on Guaranteed Hybrid Annuities…

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DECEMBER 2014

15 The Roane Reader

Drive-Thru etiquette

(Please folks, these workers have enough to do without you making their job harder!)

1. Finish your cell phone conversations before entering the line or at least ask the person you're talking to to hold on while you conduct your transaction. If you're calling home to see if anyone wants something, do so before entering the drive-thru lane. Trying to gather everyone's order by phone as you're actively ordering creates a delay for you the customer as well as everyone in line behind you.

2. Eliminate any background noise. Either turn down or turn off any radios or CDs that are blaring noise that may interfere with hearing the order. The employees need to hear the actual order, not what you're listening to in your car. If the restaurant has a drive-thru speaker behind the counter for the food line, people ordering inside can hear everything that happens around the service speaker. This includes the conversations held by other people in the car.(Yes! They can even hear you yell at or spank your children.... it is very awkward!) Also, if you have a loud engine, it is advised to turn it off as well.

3. If it is raining, please turn off your windshield wipers before you get to the service window. Not doing so results in your wipers spraying dirty water, anti-freeze leftovers and grime on the service person.

4. Turn off headlights at night. The last thing someone in a drive-thru needs is blazing headlights in their mirrors. Parking lights are acceptable. The only exception to this rule is if the area is not lit. You may turn the headlights back on if there is no one in front of you or when exiting the line.

5. Know what you want before you get to the speaker box. It's polite to know what you're going to have before you come to the speaker. Pondering and thinking at the speaker wastes the employees' time, as well as the time of the people in the back of you.

6. Speak loudly and clearly. Speak loudly, slowly and clearly but not so slow that that you cause the employee to feel like a child and not so loud that you're screaming at the employee taking your order. You'll always want the food line to know exactly what you want, so if there is any miscommunication or if something is wrong with your order, you may need to go into the restaurant to change it. And finally, be sure to verify each item or meal before leaving the speaker.

7. Make sure that the order-taker understands your order. Cashiers at fast food restaurants have multiple duties and may not be giving you their full attention, they might also be speaking with a customer at the service window, or putting equipment away, etc. If you read out your full order in a single breath it will probably be misunderstood. Take small pauses after different items (number one combo...with no pickles and extra mayo) and wait for the cashier to respond ("ok", "yes", etc) before continuing.

8. Be aware that you can order condiments at the speaker box. Don't be afraid to tell the order taker to add ketchup, mayonnaise, extra sauces, salt or pepper, and so forth at lunchtime, or jelly, butter, creamer and sugar, and so forth at breakfast to your bag. At most places, it's free!

9. As much as possible, avoid ordering three to five items, only to then go back and change the first item. The order taking system is so high-tech that many restaurants with drive-thru service have the grill-staff wearing the same headsets as the order-takers so that they can hear and begin preparing your order as soon as you say "cheeseburger."

Do not add to or change your order at the window. As stated earlier, in order to expedite service, employees begin making the food as you're ordering it. If you change your order at the window, the grill team can't hear it and now they must stop making the next person's order and fix what you changed in an effort to not slow down the drive-thru.

10. Extinguish all forms of smoking before you reach the window. Fewer people smoke nowadays and in many places, smoking is not allowed on food premises at all.

Therefore, not everyone wants to smell your tobacco or marijuana products when they open the drive-thru window, nor do they want your smoke in their face.

11. Be prepared with your payment. Organizing your payment method should be carried out before driving into the line. Trying to search for and dish out change from the deepest crevices of your car seat at the last minute may hold up the line and people's orders. Worse for you, you mightn't have enough to pay!

12. Treat the line like an ATM machine. Leave a good space between you and the car in front of you. Have respect for those around you and move forward when they do.

13. Prepare cup holders, and other holding areas in your car before you get to the pick up window. Waiting for the customer to move things around while the employee is holding the bag or drinks out the window also creates a delay for the entire line of customers.

If your car is like your second basement, the need to create space for the food should be a paramount concern before you get in the queue to order.

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Gift suggestions for Christmas: To your enemy, forgiveness.

To an opponent, tolerance.

To a friend, your heart.

To a customer, service.

To all, charity.

To every child, a good example.

To yourself, respect.

It only takes a few seconds To hurt someone.

But sometimes it takes years To repair the damage.

Cherish the hearts that Love you ...

16 The Roane Reader

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DECEMBER 2014

Why is Christmas Day on the 25th of December?

Christmas Quiz

No one knows the real birthday of Jesus! No date is given in the Bible, so why do we celebrate it on the 25th December? The early Christians certainly had many arguments as to when it should be celebrated!

Also, the birth of Jesus probably didn't happen in the year 1 AD but slightly earlier, somewhere between Here's a Christmas Quiz with 20 questions for you to try!

2BC and 7BC (there isn't a 0AD - the years go from 1BC to 1AD!).

All the answers are somewhere on the site!

The first recorded date of Christmas being celebrated on December 25th was in 336AD, during the time 1. What's the name of the period leading up to Christmas? of the Roman Emperor Constantine (he was the first Christian Roman Emperor). A few years later, Pope 2. How many Wise Men brought gifts to Jesus?

3. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Julius officially declared that the birth of Jesus would be celebrated on the 25th December.

4. What was the name of John the Baptist's Mother?

5. Who brings presents to children in Holland on the 5th/6th December?

6. How many letters are in the angelic alphabet?

7. In what town was Jesus born?

8. How many presents were given in total in the 12 Days of Christmas?

9. In what decade was the first Christmas Card sent in the UK? 10. What country did the family escape to?

11. How many of Rudolph's eight companions names start with 'D'?

12. What country did Christmas Trees originate from?

13. Who was the 'King of the Jews' who ordered the babies to be killed?

14. What's the second line of "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"?

15. What was Joseph's job?

16. Who started the custom of Wassailing?

17. Who were first people to visit the baby Jesus?

18. What's lucky to find in your Christmas Pudding?

19. What Angel visited Mary?

20. Where did the baby Jesus sleep?

ANSWERS: 12. Germany - it was Latvia but 1. Advent it was part of German then!

2. More than one, the Bible 13. King Herod doesn't say how many!

3. Deep pan, crisp and even! 14. Just like the ones I used to know 4 .Elizabeth 15. Carpenter 5. St. Nicholas 16. The Anglo Saxons - it 6. 25 7. Bethlehem means 'good health' 8. 364 17. Shepherds 9. 1840s - 1843 by Sir Henry 18. A six pence Cole 19. Gabriel 10. Egypt 20. In a manger 11. Three - Dasher, Dancer and Donner

Happy Birthday

Austin Christopher Dec. 11th

Contact SENATOR

Yager Ken

Phone:

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'LVWULFW 2ŕ°şLFH P.O. Box 684 Kingston, TN 37763

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Nashville, TN 37243

DECEMBER 2014

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18 The Roane Reader

The Roane Reader proudly presents THE WRITER'S PAGE

by: Donald Strange

The Second Coming of Christ

The sun will shine, as shine it will, On the garden spot that’s called Spring Hill.

She schools and guides her crew at home, And gives them comfort when they do roam.

Accomplishments abound in her We often note when they occur.

So she’ll enjoy, we hope and pray, A really neat and cool birthday.

God’s Time by: Clara Miles God’s time is not always our time We want to put God in a microwave When it was for us, His life He gave When we pray, we need to wait each day Where we will not, get in God’s way We need to let patience have her perfect work.

Where we will be entire wanting for nothing Knowing that God is always right on time

Happy Birthday

Missi Lemons Scandlyn Dec. 17th

by: Katie Bailey Randolph At the sound of the trumpet and the archangel's voice Our Lord will descend, what a day to rejoice.

"Come on home children, your work is all done The battle is over, the victory is won".

The graves will be opened, the saints will arise Together we'll meet Him with joyful cries.

Then we'll stand before Him to face our last testIs it wood, hay or stubble, or gold at it's best?

All our works by fire will be tried, Only those that give glory to Christ shall abide.

On earth, great tribulation such as never has beenThe minds of many misled by that "man of sin".

Christmas A Time of Love

by: Donna Kay Reynolds Christmas is a time of laughter, love and cheer As carolers sing through the winter’s chill Children excited as the snow begins Postmen are busy with all packages to send Christmas will soon bring many smiles, with all shopping steps turn into miles We should not forget our Savior’s birth For it was salvation that He gave to us As we remember family and friends We should always focus and remember Him Now with laughter, love and cheer We will toast with our eggnog as we Fill it to the brim.

Christmas Season

Then, we'll return with our Saviour, white horses we'll ride by: Donna Kay Reynolds Arrayed in fine linen and Christ as our guide.

As the Christmas season is drawing near He'll smite with the sword and rule with the rodChristmas bells we will soon hear And tread the wine-press of wrath of Almighty God. Gifts of all kinds fill each store Decorating the home with trees and more Thank you for the beauty of the mountain terrain Children excited smiles on each place For the breathtaking view looking down on the plain.

Celebrating with friends and family Thank you for eyes to view such blissBut don’t forget Jesus the gift he gave to each But remind us of One who gave all of this.

Now as snow begins to fall Lord, thank you for life, only once we pass through; Say loud with voices Merry Christmas to all Take our eyes off of "me" and place them on "You"Then we'll view the created, eyes filled with new pleasure Seeing first the Creator, the world's greatest treasure.

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By: Nina Powers

When my soul should choose to die, listen my love you shall hear me cry.

Apart though we may be you shall always be a part of me.

And when I pretend I didn't go alone, you will be the one to whom I hold on.

And as my soul rises from me, surely you will rise with me.

To love forever my soul would wait upon, you to enter heaven's gate for without you, I would always be waiting for you, you waiting for me.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR WRITINGS ON THIS PAGE EMAIL US: INFO@ROANEREADER.COM

or write to:

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DECEMBER 2014

'Twas the Night AFTER Christmas Written by Jeff Foxworthy

'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.

The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.

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How many Christmas songs can you identify?

1. The apartment of 2 psychiatrists.

2. The lad is a diminutive percussionist.

3. Decorate the entry-ways.

4. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis.

The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, 5. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.

P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, 6. Present me naughty but dual so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried. incisors for this festive Yuletide.

7. The smog-less bewitching When out in the yard the dog started barkin', hour arrived.

I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.

8. Exuberation to this orb.

He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws 9. 288 Yuletide hours. and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."

10. Do you perceive the same longitudinal pressure which I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus, stimulates my auditory sense and you ain't taking me in without probable cause." organs.

Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."

11. The red-suited pa is due in I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like." this burg.

12. Stepping on the pad cover.

The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, 13. Uncouth dolt has his beezer with a big beer gut belly, in the booze and thinks he is a that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.

Dark Cloud's boyfriend.

He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."

14. Far back in a hay bin.

I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."

15. Leave and do an elevated broadcast.

"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said.

16. That exiguous hamlet south "The man I'm describing in dressed all in red. of the holy city.

I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean.

17. Behold! I envisioned a trio of Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen." nautical vessels.

18. Listen, the winged heavenly Well I started to lie then I thought what the bell, it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail. messengers are proclaiming tunefully.

I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten, 19. A joyful song relative to and I thought that my wife had been drinking again." hollow metallic vessels which When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. vibrate and bring forth a ringing I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's. sound when struck.

But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, 20. As the guardians of little and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red. woolly animal's protected Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.

Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'.

I thought he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'.

So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!"

But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head.

Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled.

And as he flew off I heard him extort, "That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."

“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.”

19 The Roane Reader

The Worst Christmas Gifts Ever received 1. I once received a toilet seat.

2. The book What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

I was in high school and not even dating.

3. A fifth of whiskey, even though I’m an alcoholic.

4. A very nice sweater that someone had worn, stained, and re-gifted to me.

5. A donation in my name to a cause I don’t support.

6. I got my own Christmas gift back the next year.

7. A subscription to the Nutrisystem weight-loss program.

8. A bar of soap.

9. A turquoise man-kini. I am 60 years old and weigh 250 pounds.

10. An iron and ironing board from my (now ex-) husband.

11. A book titled 101 Wines Under $5.

12. A bag of cotton balls.

13. A Christmas tree ornament. I’m Jewish.

14. A pill vial designed like a white elephant and filled with the baby teeth of my friend’s children.

15. Legos. I’m 34.

16. I received a book on Chinese culture written in Chinese.

17. A doorknob.

18. A used spatula.

19. One slipper.

20. A book of etiquette from my mother-in-law.

Happy Anniversary

James & Rebecca Gray Dec. 5th

December Birthdays

Rosella Davis - Dec. 5th Donald Strange - Dec. 11th Russell Truax - Dec. 15th Michael Truax - Dec. 18th Rachel Gray - Dec. 22nd Lennie McFalls - Dec. 26th

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DECEMBER 2014

Fun Facts About Football

American Football grew out of English sports such as rugby and soccer and became popular on American college campuses in the late 1800s.

In 1876, a coach named Walter Camp, who is considered the “Father of American Football,” helped produce the first rules of American football. Among important changes were the introduction of line scrimmages and down-and-distance rules.

The American Professional Football Association was formed in 1920; two years later it changed its name to the National Football League (NFL), which would ultimately become the major league of American football.

It takes about 600 cows to make one full season’s worth of NFL footballs.

The Wilson Sporting Goods Company has been the official football supplier for the NFL since 1941. They make more than 2 million footballs of all sorts every year.

Only two players have caught, rushed, and thrown a touchdown against the same team in the same game: Walter Payton in 1979 and David Patton in 2001.

While football originally was popular in Midwestern industrial towns, its growth in popularity around the U.S. is typically traced to the 1958 NFL Championship game, which has been called the “Greatest Game Ever Played.”

Dallas Cowboys running back Tony Dorsett is the only player to rush for a 99-yard touchdown, in 1983.

Approximately 78% of NFL players go bankrupt within 2 years of retiring.

In 1892, former Yale star William “Pudge” Heffelfinger became the first recognized pro player when he accepted $500 to play for the Allegheny Athletic Association.

Though football games usually last around 3 hours, the ball is typically in play for only 11 minutes. Around 56% of the game on TV is devoted to replays.

In an NFL game, as many as 75 minutes, or about 60% of total TV air time (excluding commercials), is spent on shots of players standing on the line of scrimmage, huddling, or just walking around between snaps.

Injured football players in televised NFL games get six more seconds of camera time than celebrating players.

The average age of an NFL cheerleader is 25. NFL cheerleaders typically make $50–$75 a game. However, by the time they spend money on makeup, hair accessories, dance classes, etc., they end up losing money.

During broadcasting of NFL games, cheerleaders are on TV for only about 3 seconds.

Coaches and referees receive around 7% of the face time in a game.

An NBC’s Sunday Night Football producer says that he makes it a point to get Dallas cheerleaders on screen but “otherwise, it’s not really important . . . if it’s the Jets, I could care less.”

In the 1930s, NFL game telecasts were simply a constant feed of the field. Instant replay became commonplace in the mid-1960s, which helped fill the idle moments of the game. By the 1990s, some football broadcasts showed about 100 replays per game.

Deion Sanders is the only person in history to both hit an MLB home run and score an NFL touchdown in the same week. He’s also the only person to play in the World Series and the Super Bowl.

The NFL has an annual revenue of $9 billion, with a profit of $1 billion. MLB has an annual revenue of $7.2 billion, with a profit of $49 million.

The NFL consists of 32 teams, with an average team value of $1 billion. MLB has 30 teams, with an average team value of $523 million.

The average game attendance for an NFL game is 66,957 spectators. For MLB, it’s 30,135 spectators.

The Baltimore Ravens are named after Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven.” The team mascots are named Edgar, Allan, and Poe. Poe wrote his famous poem while living in Baltimore in the 1830s.

happy birthday Larry (Ricky) Christopher dec. 24th

2014 Schedule

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Date Opponent / Event 08/31/14 vs. Utah State TV 09/06/14 vs. Arkansas State TV 09/13/14 at Oklahoma TV 09/27/14 at Georgia * TV 10/04/14 vs. Florida * 10/11/14 vs. Chattanooga 10/18/14 at Ole Miss * 10/25/14 vs. Alabama * 11/01/14 at South Carolina * 11/15/14 vs. Kentucky * 11/22/14 vs. Missouri * 11/29/14 at Vanderbilt * *Conference Event

Location Knoxville, Tenn.

Knoxville, Tenn.

Norman, Okla.

Athens, Ga. Knoxville, Tenn.

Knoxville, Tenn.

Oxford, Miss.

Knoxville, Tenn.

Columbia, S.C. Knoxville, Tenn.

Knoxville, Tenn.

Nashville, Tenn.

Time / Result W, 38-7 W, 34-19 L, 34-10 L, 35-32 L, 10-9 W, 45-10 L, 34-3 L, 34-20 W, 45-42 W, 50-16 L, 29-21 W, 24-17

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DECEMBER 2014

Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged

High School Basketball 2014-2015 Schedule

Roane County High School Tue Nov. 11 Fri Nov. 14 (Hall of Fame) Tue Nov. 18 Tue Nov. 25 Tue Dec. 2 Fri Dec. 5 Mon Dec. 8 Tue Dec. 9 Tue Dec. 16 Thu Dec. 18 Mon Jan. 5 Fri Jan. 9 Fri Jan. 16 Tue Jan. 20 Fri Jan. 23 Tue Feb. 3 Fri Feb. 6 Mon Feb. 9

7:30 PM Anderson County 7:30 PM Meigs County 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 8:00 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM 7:30 PM

Sweetwater at Sequoyah at Sweetwater at Loudon Rockwood Midway at Rockwood Alcoa D Loudon Knoxville Catholic D Harriman at Knoxville Catholic D at Harriman at Alcoa D at Midway Sequoyah

Harriman High School

Tue Nov. 11 7:30 PM at King's Academy (Hall of Fame) Thu Nov. 13 7:30 PM Concord Christian (Hall of Fame) Tue Nov. 18 8:00 PM Oliver Springs Fri Nov. 21 8:00 PM at Wartburg Mon Nov. 24 8:00 PM Oneida N (Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Fri Dec. 5 8:00 PM Rockwood D Sat Dec. 6 8:00 PM Tellico Plains D Tue Dec. 9 8:00 PM at Greenback D Thu Dec. 11 7:30 PM King's Academy Fri Dec. 12 8:00 PM at Oliver Springs Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM Midway D Fri Dec. 19 8:00 PM at Rockwood D Tue Jan. 6 8:00 PM Greenback D Fri Jan. 9 7:30 PM at Midway D Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM Wartburg Fri Jan. 16 7:30 PM at Kingston Tue Jan. 20 8:00 PM Grace Christian D Fri Jan. 23 8:00 PM Kingston Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM at Grace Christian D Fri Jan. 30 8:00 PM Meigs County D Tue Feb. 3 7:30 PM at Meigs County D Fri Feb. 6 7:30 PM at Tellico Plains D

Rockwood High School

Fri Nov. 21 8:00 PM at Sunbright Tue Nov. 25 8:00 PM Sunbright Tue Dec. 2 7:30 PM at Meigs County D Fri Dec. 5 8:00 PM at Harriman D Mon Dec. 8 7:30 PM at Kingston Tue Dec. 9 7:30 PM at Sweetwater Fri Dec. 12 8:00 PM Meigs County D Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM Kingston Fri Dec. 19 8:00 PM Harriman D Mon Dec. 29 2:30 PM Unaka N (Harriman Christmas Tournament) Tue Dec. 30 8:30 PM Oneida N (Harriman Christmas Tournament) Wed Dec. 31 8:30 PM Lenoir City N (Harriman Christmas Tournament) Fri Jan. 2 8:00 PM Cosby Tue Jan. 6 8:00 PM at Cosby Fri Jan. 9 7:30 PM at Tellico Plains D Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM Tellico Plains D Fri Jan. 16 8:00 PM at Grace Christian D Tue Jan. 20 8:00 PM Greenback D Fri Jan. 23 8:00 PM Grace Christian D Mon Jan. 26 8:00 PM Sweetwater Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM at Wartburg Fri Jan. 30 7:30 PM at Midway D Tue Feb. 3 8:00 PM at Greenback D Fri Feb. 6 8:00 PM Wartburg Mon Feb. 9 8:00 PM Midway D

Midway Green Waves Tue Nov. 11 7:30 PM (Hall of Fame) Mon Nov. 17 7:30 PM Tue Nov. 18 7:30 PM Fri Nov. 21 7:30 PM Mon Nov. 24 7:30 PM Tue Nov. 25 7:30 PM Fri Nov. 28 7:30 PM Tue Dec. 2 8:00 PM Fri Dec. 5 7:30 PM Tue Dec. 9 7:30 PM Thu Dec. 11 7:30 PM Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM Fri Dec. 19 7:30 PM Sat Dec. 27 8:30 PM (Midway Holiday Classic) Mon Jan. 5 8:00 PM Tue Jan. 6 7:30 PM Fri Jan. 9 7:30 PM Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM Fri Jan. 16 8:00 PM Tue Jan. 20 7:30 PM Fri Jan. 23 7:30 PM Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM Fri Jan. 30 7:30 PM Fri Feb. 6 7:30 PM Mon Feb. 9 8:00 PM

21 The Roane Reader

Mt. Pisgah Christian Coalfield at Monterey Oakdale Sunbright Loudon Tellico Plains D at Oakdale Greenback D at Kingston Grace Christian D at Harriman D Meigs County D Bledsoe County at Sunbright at Tellico Plains D Harriman D at Grace Christian D at Greenback D at Loudon at Meigs County D at Coalfield Rockwood D Kingston at Rockwood D

Oliver Springs High School

Thu Nov. 13 7:30 PM at Tellico Plains (Hall of Fame) Sat Nov. 15 1:30 PM at William Blount (Hall of Fame) Sat Nov. 15 4:30 PM Knoxville Webb N (Hall of Fame at William Blount) Tue Nov. 18 8:00 PM at Harriman Thu Nov. 20 8:30 PM at Jackson County Fri Nov. 21 8:00 PM Cosby Tue Nov. 25 6:00 PM Meigs County (Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Fri Nov. 28 6:00 PM Grace Christian (Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Sat Nov. 29 6:30 PM Berean Christian (Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Tue Dec. 2 8:00 PM at Sequoyah Fri Dec. 5 8:00 PM Coalfield D Tue Dec. 9 8:00 PM at Oakdale D Thu Dec. 11 7:30 PM Jackson County Fri Dec. 12 8:00 PM Harriman Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM at Jellico D Sat Dec. 20 5:30 PM Greenville (SC) N (Seahawk Christmas Classic at Hilton Head) Tue Jan. 6 8:00 PM at Wartburg D Fri Jan. 9 8:00 PM at Coalfield D Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM Oneida D Fri Jan. 16 8:00 PM Jellico D Tue Jan. 20 8:00 PM at Sunbright D Thu Jan. 22 7:30 PM Sequoyah Sat Jan. 24 7:30 PM William Blount Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM Oakdale D Fri Jan. 30 8:00 PM Wartburg D Tue Feb. 3 8:00 PM Sunbright D Fri Feb. 6 8:00 PM at Oneida D

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What part of “profit” don’t you understand?

865-882-9340 or www.roanereader.com

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are. DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me. MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why. DEPRESSION: Silent Anedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, .......(better start again) PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

A message from Justin Stout & Kay Christopher - Co-Owners of

The Roane Reader Our only goal is to publish a paper that everyone wants to read and everyone enjoys.

We have never increased our overall advertising rates in the 22 years of our existence, and we have no plans to in the near future.

The ads you see in The Roane Reader pays for our overhead, which includes the printing costs, software, supplies and other necessary expenses.

So, if you enjoy receiving The Roane Reader please patronize our sponsors, and tell them you saw their ad in our paper.

Thank you all very much.

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22 The Roane Reader

PSYCHIATRIST VS. BARTENDER

A Southern Christmas

"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall".

Happy Birthday

DECEMBER 2014

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿)

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under In a small southern town there Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader my bed at night.

ALL CORRECT ENTREES WILL BE ENTERED was a "Nativity Scene" that INTO A SECOND CHANCE DRAWING. showed great skill and talent So I went to a shrink and told him, "I've got problems. Every time I had gone into creating it.

One Go to www.roanereader.com/thephantom go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared and I think small feature bothered me.

The PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL(optional) I'm going crazy." three wise men were wearing and PHONE NUMBER. "Just put yourself in my hands for one year", said the shrink. "Come firemen's helmets.

ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!! in and talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid Totally unable to come up with Entries that fail to provide all this information will not qualify! of those fears". a reason or explanation, I left.

"How much do you charge?"

At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the "Eighty dollars per visit", replied the doctor. counter about the helmets. She "I'll sleep on it", I said. exploded into a rage, yelling at Six months later the doctor met me on the street. "Why didn't you me, "You darn Yankees never do come to see me about those fears you were having?", he asked. read the Bible!"

"Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year is I assured her that I did, but $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to simply couldn't recall anything have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup about firemen in the Bible. truck."

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled "Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude, he said, "and how, may I ask, thru some pages, and finally did a bartender cure you?" jabbed her finger at a passage.

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there Sticking it in my face she said, now.”

"See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"

Arlene Daughtery

Dec. 25th

Makes the

perfect present

Have one mailed to you.

Send $16 to 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, TN 37748

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235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, TN (865) 483-0961

Answer Given: Trenton St. Baptist Church leading into the daycare section.

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DECEMBER 2014

Rockwood Memories

When I was Young By: Ray Collet

Hello Readers, Well the football season has ended with the exception of the high school playoffs and will end soon for the college teams except for the bowl games. Our Tigers went through a rough season but really made us proud of their team. With several veterans returning, let's hope next year will be a championship year. The Vols sure have made a comeback from last season and as I write this, the Bowl Games are still undecided , I am sure the Vols will get a Bowl bid somewhere. I came across some information that Mr. Ray R. Baird wrote in a 1980 edition of the Rockwood Times, let me share it with you.

"Before the football season is entirely over, we would like to write about a promotion that for nearly thirty years was very successful and brought much favorable publicity to Rockwood. This was the annual "Jaycee Bowl," played on Civitan Field and matched outstanding (sometimes undefeated) high school football teams in a post season encounter.

The "Jaycee Bowl" , as its name implies was sponsored by the Rockwood Jaycees which for three decades following World War II was a live-wire service and civic organization composed of young men between the ages of 21 and 35. We do not have a list of Charter members, but among them were James R. Allen (first president), W.C. "Tec" Coppinger, Wm. H. Hamm, Jr., Tom and Russell Simmons, Joe Bobbitt, Lee Bilbrey, Polk Cooley, Bill Billings, Robert Kidd, W.H. Luttrell, Ed Foland, James S. Smith, Burl Swanner, R.O.Wright, Maurice Grief, and Ray R. Baird. Many other of the area's young men later joined and assumed leadership in the organization as the older members became ineligible after reaching the age of 36.

In addition to the Jaycee Bowl, the Rockwood Jaycees were sponsors of the downtown Christmas lighting and decoration for many years, plus prizes for the best holiday lighted and decorated homes in the area. They sponsored July 4th Celebrations on Civitan Field, promoted safety drives, "Get Out And Vote campaigns and participated in scores of other promotions and events of great benefit to the city and area.

Aiding the Jaycees in all of their promotions, as well as successful endeavors of their own were the Jaycettes, wives of the Jaycees. At an organizational in the Baird home, the Jaycettes chose Mrs. Ethel (Wm H. Jr.) Hamm as first president. Others serving as president during the early years of the Jaycettes included, Louise Baird, Virginia Bilbrey, Jennie Coppinger and Mary Foland. The Jaycees could not possibly carried out their many successful projects without the help and cooperation of the Jaycettes, It is most regrettable that both of the fine civic organizations were allowed to cease in recent years. The Rockwood area and our young citizens of Jaycee age (now 18-36) are the losers. Many of our state and national leaders received the first leadership training as members of the Jaycees and Jaycettes.

Rockwood High School had winning football teams following World War II under the management of the Rockwood Athletic Commission. In 1947 the "Jaycee Bowl" played on Civitan Field between Rockwood and Rhea High of Dayton. The Tigers were narrowly defeated by Rhea, but the game was a tremendous success in every way. Later the RHS Tigers played in three more Jaycee Bowls winning each one. In 1957, it was Rockwood 7 Jefferson 6; 1970 RHS 20, Knox Rule 0; and 1973 Rockwood 13 Meigs 12.

The largest crowd in history to see a Jaycee Bowl encounter was on Thanksgiving night 1950 when two undefeated teams, Loudon and Spring City met, 3800 fans paid to see this game in ideal football weather. However, the next morning we awoke to six inches of snow on the ground.

Perhaps the most thrilling game of all Jaycee Bowl events was in 1954 when Harriman defeated Clinton 18-12 scoring in the last minute on a "made-up" playing maneuver. Another thriller was in 1967 when Kingston scored in the last 50 seconds to down Dunlap 7-3. Among other schools to participate in the annual Jaycee Bowl games were McMinn Co., Bradley Co., LaFollette, Tellico Plains, Red Bank, Brainard, Lenoir City, Etowah, Midway, Whitwell, Oneida, Crossville, Sparta , and Sweetwater.

The Rockwood Jaycee Bowl was played annually for 29 years, the last game being in 1976 when Maryville Porter and Sweetwater played. Ray R. Baird was the only person, with the possible exception of Bill Billings that witnessed every one of the games. They were all exciting with pageantry , (each year School and Bowl Queens were crowned) and promotion,. Thousands of visitors including State Jaycee officials and celebrities attended. In 1975, Mr. Tom Simmons, chairman of the first bowl game in 1948, was awarded a special plaque of commendation and the previous year, Ray R. Baird and the Rockwood Times were honored for their contributions.

Due to the TSSAA championship playoffs and district play, now in effect, most high school bowl games have ceased. But the annual Jaycee Bowl has the distinction of being the most prestigious and best known continuous post-season scholastic bowl game (1948-1976) in the state and perhaps the nation." Merry Christmas to all....Ray

23 The Roane Reader

If Men Truly Ran The World...

Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

Birth control would come in ale or lager.

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.

Garbage would take itself out.

The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle."

Instead of "beer-belly," you'd get "beer-biceps."

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

Two words... "Ally McNaked."

When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop :"Nice one, That's $10.00 off".

People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.

It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!"

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you."

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night," would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

You would have a remote control to adjust your wife’s voice.

All recliners would have a built-in refrigerator.

United States Coast Guard Auxiliary WATTS BAR GROUP, KINGSTON When you join the Auxiliary you could: » Find yourself saving lives » Become an instructor and teach boating safety classes » Train for patrols on the water » Enjoy fellowship with others » AND MUCH MORE!

FIND OUT WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU! Call:865.376.4822 or Email:whitebill1220@yahoo.com

24 The Roane Reader

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DECEMBER 2014

Top Ten Toys of all time

10. View-Master This stereoscope was unveiled at the 1939 New York World’s Fair as a way to view photos of tourist attractions in 3D and got its big break when it landed a licensing agreement with Disney. The old-school device still exists in some form.

9. Star Wars figurines Ever wonder why every summer blockbuster seems to come standard with a line of toys? Credit Star Wars‘ 1977 marketing campaign, which encouraged people to buy empty boxes with coupons redeemable for collectible Star Wars-themed toys. That opened up the collectible category and made collecting cool.

8. Doc McStuffins The toy line based on the Disney Junior animated TV star who is doctor to her stuffed animals was the first black figure to become popular among kids of all races, boasting $500 million in sales last year.

7. Super Soaker This pump-action water gun literally blew its competition out of the water, so to speak. Before NASA engineer Lonnie Johnson invented and licensed it to the Larami Corporation (later acquired by Hasbro) in 1989, water pistols were cheap throwaway toys that you gave to somebody at a birthday party.

6. Easy Bake Oven Cooked up in 1963 by Kenner Products (now part of Hasbro), it was the first toy that allowed kids to make edible food, a brand new category of play. Now stores feature devices that make s’mores, snow cones, cotton candy, cupcakes, and most recently, cake pops.

5. Chatty Cathy The fact that dolls talk started with Chatty Cathy. She was the first portable, interactive doll that said things like “Let’s play house” or “I love you” when children pulled her drawstring. Mattel made it from 1959 to the mid-1960s.

4. Nerf Bow and Arrow The NERF “Bow ‘N’ Arrow” launched the toy blaster market when it was introduced in 1991. Up until the 1980s, NERF had always been the hoop and basketball, so the bow and arrow changed NERF’s entire brand to where it is today, which is more of a blaster with foam darts.

3. G.I. Joe No one thought boys would play with a doll—until Hasbro introduced him in the middle of the Cold War as an “action figure” named after Government-Issued Joe, the World War II nickname for regular soldiers. His most enduring impact may be his bendable frame. You couldn’t bend Barbie’s knees or her elbows—she just sort of stood there while you explained what she was doing. But a kid could pose G.I. Joe doing almost anything.

2. Barbie Mattel claims a Barbie doll is sold every three seconds, which would make the billion-dollar brand the world’s most popular doll for girls. And she’s a pretty good role model, having held more than 150 careers—including doctor, scientist and lawyer—since her debut in 1959, and always keeping an active lifestyle.

1. LEGO Never mind that LEGO is the world’s biggest toy company—bringing in $2.3 billion in the first half of 2014 compared to Mattel’s $2 billion—and that it has spawned action-figures, TV shows, a fan conference and, most recently, a hit film. Since its debut in 1958, LEGO has also redefined the potential of playthings, allowing kids to build permanent structures from scratch, in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and “take them anywhere they want.

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25 The Roane Reader

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26 The Roane Reader

Funny Christmas Questions-Answers

Q.(1) How do you know Santa has to be a man?

Ans. No woman is going to wear the same outfit every year.

Q.(2) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?

Ans. You do all the work and the fat guy gets all the credit.

Q.(3) What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?

Ans. Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Q.(4) What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?

Ans. Platform shoes !

Q.(5) What did the big candle say to the little candle ?

Ans. I'm going out tonight !

Q.(6) What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?

Ans. Your teeth !

Q.(7) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?

Ans. It's Christmas, Eve !

Q.(8) What’s in Dec. that’s not in any other month?

Ans. The letter "D" !

Q.(9) Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ?

Ans. Because the poor didn't have any !

Q.(10) What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ans. Ice caps!

Q.(11) How can a snowman lose weight?

Ans. He waits until it gets warmer!

Q.(12) What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Ans. Snowflakes.

Q.(13) What goes red white red white red white?

Ans. Santa Claus rolling down a hill!

Q.(14) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?

Ans. Santapplause!

Q.(15) What is Santa’s wife called ?

Ans. Mary Christmas!

Q.(16) What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move?

Ans. Santa Pause!

Q.(17) How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?

Ans. Only one - after then it is not empty any more.

Q.(18) What king is the children's favorite at Christmas time?

Ans. A stocking!

Q.(19) What kind of bird can write?

Ans. A pen-guin!

Q.(20) Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

Ans. So he can ho-ho-ho.

Christmas Trivia Reindeer Facts

They eat lichen a type of moss, grass and plants.

Reindeer lives up to 15 years in the wild.

A reindeer has brown soft fur with white fur on their neck and parts of their back.

They weigh from between 240-700 lbs.

Reindeer are usually 4-5 ft tall not including their antlers. Their antlers are 3ft tall!

Did you know that reindeer are the only deer in which both male and females grow antlers. They shed their antlers in the winter.

Like a humans fingerprint no two reindeer antlers are exactly the same.

Reindeer migrate, during the winter reindeer’s migrate South. During the summer they migrate North. The trip is 1,200 miles round-trip. That is one of the world’s largest migrations.

Did you know that reindeer can run 50 miles per hour!

A male reindeer is called a Buck. A female reindeer is called a Doe. A baby reindeer is called a Fawn A mother usually gives birth to one fawn a year but sometimes two are born.

A fawn is 10-11 pounds when born.

A reindeer’s milk has more fat than cow’s milk.

Mid-East Community Action Agency

Roane and Loudon Counties Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applications for the 2013/2014 Program Year Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families

To complete an application or to get information please call the Fairmont Center in Harriman at 865-882-8737 Monday-Wednesday Site Admin Office Rolling Acres Fairmont

Phone 865-376-2308 865-882-0808 865-882-8737

DECEMBER 2014

P.O. Box 790 Mid-East Kingston, TN 37763 Community Action Agency www.mecaa.net

Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.

What color is the Grinch?

In the poem "The Night before Christmas", not a creature was stirring not even a what?

Where does Santa usually land his sleigh?

Which one day do people celebrate Christmas on?

In the song "Frosty the Snowman", what are eyes made out of?

What does Santa Claus usually use to deliver Christmas presents?

Who is the famous snowman that also lives at the North Pole?

What is Santa's favorite snack?

How does Santa get in to most houses to deliver presents?

When Santa laughs, his belly shakes like a bowl full of…

ANSWERS TO CHRISTMAS TRIVIA: Green; Mouse; On the roof; December 25th; Coal; A sleigh; Frosty; Cookies and milk; Down the chimney; Jelly.

Hey Kids!

Do you have a favorite poem or short story you’ve written?

Send it to us at 197 Shady Dr. Harriman, TN 37748, and we’ll print it!

Public Stargazing Nov. 6th & 20th - 7 pm

Tamke-Allan Observatory, Harriman

Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long.

Public is welcome!

The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road - turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left.

Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long, inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.

Gates open at 7 pm

For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or fieldsde@roanestate.edu for details.

www.roanereader.com

DECEMBER 2014

The Doctor Visit

27 The Roane Reader

The Joys of Having Children

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After Whenever your, or someone else's, kids are out of control, you can take comfort from this thought. his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was: "Don't".

He said,"Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, "Don't what?" Adam replied. combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. husband will surely die."

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve...we got forbidden fruit!"

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make "No way!" sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for "Yes way!" him. Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress." "Don't eat that fruit!" said God. "Why?" "Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress "Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by being pleasant the elephants. and giving him plenty of back rubs. Encourage him to watch some A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and was angry. type of team sporting event on television."

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"And, most importantly satisfy his every whim. If you can do this "Uh huh, " Adam replied. for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain "Then why did you?" his health completely."

"I dunno" Eve answered.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor "She started it!" Adam said. say?"

"Did not!"

"You're going to die," she replied.

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed.

There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had disobedient children, what makes you for a Christmas tree. think it would be a piece of cake for you?

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chop- Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin ping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or bottle: Take two, and keep away from children ;)

The Christmas Tree

not!"

NOTICE ROANE COUNTY TAXPAYERS How and where to pay your taxes this year:

Trustee’s Office - Roane Co. Courthouse (Monday - Friday 8:30 to 4:30)

United Community Bank in Kingston (With your tax notice)

US Bank in Rockwood (With your tax notice)

We wish you a Happy Birthday

Arnis Ames

Dec. 30th

Want your profit

Credit Card payments

margin to rise?

www.TennesseeTrustee.com -- Select Roane

Advertise

(A fee will be charged for credit/debit card transactions)

Call 1-877-768-5048 for phone payments (You will need your receipt number.

A fee is charged for this transaction.)

Mail payments with check to: Roane County Trustee P.O. Box 296 Kingston, TN 37763 (Please include receipt number on check.)

with us.

865-882-9340 for the most profitable advertising around!

Outreach Program

Walnut Hill Church's mission is reaching the lost and helping people in need.

The Outreach program needs items donated to make them available to needy people in our area.

Clothing - all sizes Shoes Socks Shampoo Soap

Tooth brushes Toothpaste Underclothes ĂďLJ ŝĂƉĞƌƐ and other items

Stamps & Cards School Supplies Back Packs Clothes Hangers ĂƐŚ ĚŽŶĂƟŽŶ

The people who get the items will be screened and records will be kept to assure the program is used in the right way.

Please pray for the Outreach program. /Ĩ LJŽƵΖĚ ůŝŬĞ ƚŽ ǀŽůƵŶƚĞĞƌ͕ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ ƚŚĞ KƵƚƌĞĂĐŚ ůĞĂĚĞƌ͘ tĞ ŶĞĞĚ ƚŽ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ĂƫƚƵĚĞ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵ ĨŽƌ ŝƚ ƚŽ ǁŽƌŬ͘ Let God lead us in everything we do.

Now forming classes for abused women dŽ ĚŽŶĂƚĞ Žƌ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͕ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ &ĂLJĞ ĂŶŝĞůƐ͕ Outreach Leader at 865-590-7192 or 865-308-9283.

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28 The Roane Reader

Baaaahaaaa!

Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for Christmas?

Theo: I love it!

Manny: Why? Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.

Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you!

Visit us Online @

Celebrate Recovery!

Every Tuesday Celebrate Recovery meets at 6 pm at Kingston First Baptist Church.

It's a faith based program for anyone with a hurt, habit, or a hang-up.

Everyone is welcome!

Fun Facts

DECEMBER 2014

How to save $$$ during Christmas

Armadillos almost always give 1 - Keep Christ the Center of Christmas Celebrations birth to identical quadruplets.

Take the gifts, the wrapping, the parties, the cards, the lights, and the Unicorns aren't real, but they're decorations, and move them off the center stage of your Christmas still the official animal of drama this year. Make Jesus Christ the shinning star and the central focus of your family Christmas celebrations. Here are some simple Scotland. ways to do that: There are more fake flamingos 2 - Make Homemade Christmas Gifts in the world than real ones.

While searching the web, you can find exceptional ideas for For every human there is on homemade Christmas gifts. With many of these, you don't have to Earth, there are about 1.6 million be especially gifted with crafts skills. ants.

3 - Give Gifts of Service There's 10 times more bacteria Be imaginative by giving redeemable coupons to each family in your body than cells. member. Provide a back rub, run an errand, do the dishes, clean out a closet, or rake the yard. The possibilities are endless, and by And about 90% of the cells that making it personal and meaningful, the blessings of giving through make up our body are made of service will continue to multiply. bacteria or fungi.

4 - Family Gift Exchange Swimming within an hour of For years our family has been enjoying the simplicity and amuseeating doesn’t actually lead to ment of family gift exchanges, not to mention the added benefit of cramps or drowning. ( O h saving money at Christmas! Some years we celebrate "Secret Santa" yeah...now I learn this, after style by drawing names and buying a gift for just one person. Other Mama made us wait an hour ev- years we do a "White Elephant" or "Dirty Santa" style exchange. You erytime we had a picnic and went can set your own spending limits and rules for the game, keeping the swimming)!!

Aspirin can focus on fun and family interaction. save your life during a heart 5 - Give Practical Gifts attack...but only if you chew the Since my husband and I enjoy the whole process of surprising each pill up before swallowing. other and unwrapping gifts together, to save money, we give several practical gifts consisting of things we need and would be spending money on anyway.

6 - Make Your Own Christmas Decorations I have always enjoyed the cozy, comfortable look and feel of homemade Christmas decorations.

7 - Rethink Christmas Cards Dec. 27th There's no law that says you have to send Christmas cards every year! Little by little, you can whittling down your list and send them every other year. With email, Facebook and other online options, you can lift this burden from your budget.

8 - Rethink Christmas Gift Wrapping We buy all of our gift wrapping supplies at discount stores like Dollar General and Big Lots, and we buy them on sale, after Christmas, for the following year.

9 - Spread Out the Expense Spread out the expense of holiday meals. Instead of one person preparing the entire menu, each family member makes a dish (or three) and brings it to share.

10 - Set a Budget and Stick to It

Happy Birthday

A.J. Burkhardt

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1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748

DECEMBER 2014

Warning to dogs during the Christmas holiday 1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

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Pet’s Page Walkin’ In A Doggie Wonderland

(Sing as Winter Wonderland) 2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do Dog tags ring, are you listening’? not assume that all the gifts are yours.

In the lane, snow is glistening’.

It’s yellow, NOT white, 3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to I’ve been there tonight, get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with Marking up my winter wonderfake antlers. land.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre Smell that tree? as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, That’s my fragrance.

It’s a sign so there are some things you need to know: for wandering vagrants; a. Don't pee on the tree “Avoid where I pee, it’s MY pro-per-ty! b. Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree Marked up as my winter wonderland.” c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree

Christmas Dog Arnis’s poems Tonight’s my first night as a watchdog and here it is Christmas Eve. The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs, While I’m guardin’ the stockin’s and tree.

What’s that now? Footsteps on the rooftop?

Could it be a cat or mouse?

Who’s this down the chimney?

A thief with a beard and a big sack for robbin’ the house?

I’m barkin’, I’m growlin’, I’m bitin’ his butt.

He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.

I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air!

I’ve frightened the whole bunch away!

Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again.

The stockin’s are safe as can be.

Won’t the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow and see how I’ve guarded the tree!!

d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interest- In the meadow dad will build a ing or that have your name on them, don't rip them open snowman, Following the classical design. e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in Then I’ll lift my leg and let it go The Shopping Criminal the wall to the tree Man, It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the 5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come So all the world will know that prisoner, "What are you charged with?" visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they it’s Mine-mine–mine!

"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. also call for some discretion on your part: Straight from me to the fence a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans "That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this post, shopping?" b. Don't eat off the buffet table Flows my natural incense boast; “Stay off my TURF, "Before the store opened." c. Beg for goodies subtly this small piece of earth, I marked it as my winter wonderd. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa land.” e. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach 6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important) b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house c. Tolerate children d. Turn on your charm big time

Happy Birthday C�r����� D����� Dec, 25th

*8,11%,/7 3257$%/( %8,/',1*6 .

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Barns Garages Additions Housing

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.

DON'T BITE HIM!!

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501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748 Serving 4 counties with 7,500 issues distributed monthly

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31 The Roane Reader

Business Directory

www.roanereader.com/businesslistings Name A & C Cleaners Anytime Fitness Attic Fanatics Marketplace

Address 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763 1226 S Roane St, Harriman, Tennessee 37748 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763

B & M Wrecker Service

1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854

Big Emory Church Bobs Burgers Carriage Hill Insurance Christmas Lumber Co. Clayton Homes (Athens) Cochran's Tax and Bookkeeping Coldwell Banker Glenda Johnson Credit Central Eagle Mart Eddies Body Shop Ellis Surplus & Salvage Fraker Funeral Home Grasscutters

1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 3209 Roane St. Highway Harriman, Tn 37748 101 Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 2104 S. Congress Parkway 230 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 705 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1238 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763 160 Country Club Dr. Rockwood, TN, 37854

Guinnbilt Portable Buildings

Harriman Area

Harriman Home Center Harriman Jewelry Hester's Body Shop Hugh Russell Motors, LLC Huxford Automotive Hwy 29-A Motors Inc Jamestowne Assisted Living Jerrys Used Furniture Joes Mowing Johnny Appleseed Junior's Restaurant KARM Stores Kims Laundry Service Kingston Express Lube Kingston Parks & Recreation Kittrell's Kitchen KTB Taxes Logs to Lumber Machine Quilting Mary Kay - Sherry Tipton Memory Lane Antiquates Mid-East Community Action Agency Midtown Florist & Gifts Patti Savage Designs Princess Theatre Radio 580-AM Realty Executives Brenda Chapman Renos Sporting Goods Roane County Trustee Roane Reader Roane Skating Center

707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 509 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 210 Franklin St. Kingston, Tn 37763 1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 211 N Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 3081 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 1496 N. Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854 Harriman Area 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 www.kingstonparks.com 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 111 South 3rd St. Kingston, Tn 37763 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771 Kingston Area 507 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 P.O. Box 790 Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 715 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, TN 37763 421 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 319 West Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854

(865) 354-2802 (865) 809-8993 (865) 717-8288 (865) 376-1356 (865) 376-3060 (865) 376-0122 (865) 986-4264 (865) 882-9070 (865) 622-1213 (865) 230-9944 (865) 376-2308 (865) 882-3603 (865) 882-4633 (865) 250-6718

3232 Tazewell Pike Knoxville, Tn 37918

(865) 688-3232 (865) 882-2450

Upcoming Events Dec 6th, 2014 - 08:00 PM

RSCC's Music Department Winter Concert

Free Admission, donations will be accepted. The RSCC Music Department offers a traditional concert of Christmas favorites and winter inspired arrangements, featuring Celebration Singers, Concert Choir, Jazz Band, faculty, and lots of guest performers!

Dec 7th, 2014 - 03:00 PM

RSCC's Combined Solo Class Final Recital

Free Admission, RSCC music students from multiple campuses combine to perform a program of solo and small ensemble selections.

Dec 11th, 2014 - 07:00 PM

James Rogers Christmas Show

$15.00 G.A. For reservations call (865) 274-0508. Tickets will also be available at ticket booth. Remember James Rogerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performances at Dollywood? Well, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s coming to the Princess Theatre. A must see! A benefit for Operation R.E.A.C.H. of Roane County.

Dec 12th, 2014 - 07:00 PM

Movie Night: It's A Wonderful Life

The first movie at the Princess, since the renovation, will be shown on the evening of December 12th! "It's A Wonderful Life" will be shown for the admission cost of a single can (or bring a truckload if you like) of food.

You have been waiting to again see a movie at the Princess, and this will be your first opportunity; plus you can help the area hungry. Please come out and start your Christmas Season off right.

Dec 13th, 2014 - 07:00 PM

Babahatchie Band

Free Admission, donations will be accepted. This is a wonderful way to get into the Holiday Spirit! These local musicians have been performing in this band for over 20 years, and they sound great in the wonderful acoustics of the Princess!

Dec 19th, 2014 - 07:00 PM

Dr. Eric Littleton

$10.00 G.A. Coming soon, more information about Dr. Eric Littleton's concert on the 19th!

Dec 20th, 2014 - 07:00 PM

Movie Night: A Christmas Snow

(865) 882-9340 (865) 354-2107 (865) 376-4925 (800) 530-5700 (865) 354-3945 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-0600 (865) 388-0017 (864) 640-1654 (865) 223-3976 (615) 741-1449 (865) 882-2416 (865) 376-0321 (865) 354-8518 (865) 882-0110 (865) 483-0961 (865) 408-9050 (865) 203-8184

December 20th, the Princess will show it's second movie on its new "silver screen". "A Christmas Snow" starring our own Muse Watson! Muse will also be here to celebrate with us that evening. The admission is just $5.

Hope to see you there every night!

420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748

(865) 882-1900

1220 Bowman Bend Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, Tn 37854

(865) 376-4822 (865) 354-1133 (865) 590-7192 (865) 308-9283 (865) 466-5805

Job Openings

615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763

Rockwood Village Apartments Rosemary's Florist S.L. Bowman & Sons Scott McCluen Attorney at Law

601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 Harriman Area

Seal Coat Specialist

Harriman Area

Senator Ken Yager Sextons Automotive Group Shelton Financial Protection Shepherd Plumbing Southeast Auto Sales Spotted Spaniel Tellico Propane The Original Chimney Sweep Co. Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Victorian Square Assisted Living

6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 Roane County Area 104 Thomas Dr. Harriman, Tn 37748 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 1375 Monterey Road Loudon, TN 37774

Your Time Clock & Watch Repair

(865) 882-5300 (865) 285-1390 (865) 882-2362 (423) 745-4752 (865) 882-8556 (865) 376-2121 (ext.102) (865) 591-6900 (865) 882-1324 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 387-3572 (865) 717-7727 (865) 250-3656 (865) 882-5309 (865) 804-4400 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-4000 (865) 376-1949 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-3007 (865) 882-6462 (865) 376-3030 (865) 882-3603 (865) 223-3090

430 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748 P.O. Box 296 Kingston, Tn 37763 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1230 N. Gateway Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854

Robert James & Associates

Walnut Hill Outreach Program

Phone (865) 376-4589 (865) 590-7429 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290

www.princessharriman.org

******************* Want to have your event at the gorgeous, historical Princess Theatre?

For booking, please contact: Megan Anderson Phone: 865-882-4633 Email: Andersonmm1@roanestate.edu

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