NOT FAKE news

(morning news) 7:30

To start, the amazing launch of the arctic 7 . It was the first spaceship launched in the arctic.Apparently some science polar bears got on board and some penguins too. The chaos caused a crash on mars. (i can’t believe it took them 3 months to realize they were there). Some aliens greeted them and then knocked them all out except 1. They used professor polar (a science bear) to make ships. This was the last call they made said a simple “HELP”. We are sending NASAa message now. Hopefully we will save them from martian captivity.

(afternoon news) 2:30

NASAis sending a rescue mission! They have kung fu pandas on board since weapons don’t work in space. (since there is something called gravity). They will arrive in two months.

polar in front of ARCTIC 7

JUST A JOKE THERE IS NO PICKLE DUDE

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FINN NOT FAKE news

Morning news (7:30)

They have finally arrived! The rescue mission arrived on mars! The pandas are absolutely smacking the martians! Sadly we cannot call them. YOU CAN HELP BY LAUNCHING YOUR OWN HOMEMADE ROCKETS! YOU CAN ALSO GIVE US MONEY! JUST TYPE IN #SPACE$!

Afternoon news (2:30)

WE WON! We won the battle of mars! Our kung fu pandas beat up those martians. And NASA just said these words. “WE OWN MARSSSSS…” They said exactly that but a few (couple thousand) more S’s. And we raised 100M$. That is enough to make a MOVIE! We will call it “BEARS AND BEASTS”.

Wild wilderness

NOT FAKE NEWS presents WILD WILDERNESS

I just found a birdifant, a mix between bird and an elephant. It is a rare mammal found in the amazon forest. They were thought to be extinct. Birdifants can fly and are massive. It can speak bird and elephant. Another rare animal is the standing cow. It is a cow that walks on two legs like a human instead of four like a cow. It, for some reason, hates spoons. Of anything, it hates spoons. It likes forkes. It has mixed feelings about sporks. We cannot explain to it what a knife is and what it does. And a rouse (mouse+rat) likes the sewers more than a first class seat on an airplane.

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