4 minute read
TOTALLY DEVOTED
A daughter tells of the family bonds that ill health can’t break and the team they know they can rely on.
I was blessed with a wonderful upbringing, in a really happy home…
My mum is a tough little Irish lady with a wicked sense of humour. She’s had more than her fair share of illness, including kidney and lung cancer but nothing has been as scary as what’s happening now. Mum got diagnosed with early stage mixed dementia a few years ago but this last year it’s changed her – each day we lose a little more. It’s the most heart breaking illness to witness and it’s incredibly frightening at times. Watching my mum run outside shouting for help, making accusations that she truly believes are true. She’s become increasingly confused – it affects her speech, she has mood swings. I’m a really positive person and I’ll never give up, but at times you feel hopeless.
I was blessed with a wonderful upbringing, in a really happy home. There was always laughter and love, there still is! Mum and dad have been married 64 years. They make a great team and have never been apart, so when dad was admitted to the Woodlands Hospice earlier this year, mum couldn’t cope without him. She ended up getting sectioned (under the Mental Health Act) and spent some time in Clock View Hospital, which was totally heart breaking for us all. Dad always said, “I took my wedding vows serious and I’ll look after Maud till the end.” But it’s taking its toll on him.
The South Sefton community team is incredible; they do a fantastic job and always go that extra mile. Our community matron Jacqui has been there from the outset, looking after both mum and dad and helping me too. Carla Wilson our mental health nurse has been amazing with my mum and helps me to understand this awful illness. Lois Nash from Social Services fills in all the pieces inbetween. To have a team of professionals who help when you’re out of your depth is so reassuring, to be able to pick up the phone and know they’ll be there. They understand… they make a difference. Meet the team on page 22.
Community mental health nurse Carla Wilson with Maud and Ted.
A GREAT TEAM
What happens when someone who has led an active life, brought up a family and run a business has a health crisis? We meet the team who step in to help.
Maud and Ted have led what many would describe as a charmed life. Their busy greengrocer store made them almost local celebrities in their home town of Maghull.
He’s gentle, engaging; she’s a strong Irish matriarch with a wide grin.
When ill health struck they turned to each other, as they’ve done all their lives, for strength and support. But in November 2016 Ted, now 85, developed prostrate cancer; it has since spread to his bones leaving him in constant pain. By then Maud was in the early stages of dementia. She was unpredictable, he was struggling to cope. Sarah Gibson co-ordinates Maghull community care team; her role is to identify which services someone needs and bring them together, all the time monitoring to ensure they work together to provide people with the right help at the right time.
They’d reached crisis point. Ted was in chronic pain.
“Their daughter Nicky was holding down a full time job while caring for her own family and her mum and dad. Strong family bonds were being torn apart. They needed help in so many ways.” Community matron Jacqui Martin agrees. “They were at crisis point. Ted was in chronic pain – you could see it in his face - yet still trying to look after his wife with no care package.” Jacqui arranged for Ted to go into Woodlands Hospice for respite and a review of his pain relief so he could manage his back pain, while helping Nicky manage Maud and working with district nursing, palliative care and physiotherapy teams. Sarah knew Maud needed psychological support for her dementia needs so called South Sefton community mental health team.
Nurse Carla Wilson and her colleagues have helped her stay at home. “If Maud becomes physically unwell she can deteriorate fast and watching that can be distressing, even for us. Many people would say ‘I’ve had enough now’ but Ted never complains. Maud really needs 24 hour care but Ted wants to care for her at home and we’re helping him to do that.” Community pharmacist Grace Harris goes to the couple’s home to check they understand why changes are being made and monitor for adverse effects. She recalls the visible sense of relief when she arranged for medicines to be put into blister packs. “Ted always had a smile on his face but it had started to disappear. It’s been a struggle but he idolises her and wants to look after her himself.”
Care coordinator Sarah Gibson identifies the services people need and brings them together.
HELP IS OUT THERE
The team contacted Social Services to secure carers so Ted can get some respite and independence.
Community matron Jacqui Martin has been with the couple from the start.
Jacqui: “Helping Ted with his pain and giving him a few hours independence has helped him regain control – he’s a different person. They’re like so many older people in this community, reluctant to ask for help. They worry about needing to go into care, they fear losing their house. Yet the help is out there. We can now watch and step back in when they need us.“
Community pharmacist Grace Harris goes to the couple’s home to check they understand why changes are being made and monitor for adverseeffects.
