algorithms humans >
A USER’S GUIDE TO CREATING A FUN DIGITAL WORLD
We went from:
Making Neopets fan sites
Spending hours customizing our MySpace HTML
Playing Club Penguin after school
Actually owning our music on Limewire (plus some bonus viruses)
To:
Endless doom-scrolling
Getting served ads for things we THOUGHT about Whatever NFTs were
Having five different streaming passwords
The internet used to be a place where you could waste time in peace. Now even your time-wasting needs to be optimized and cross-platform synchronized.
DEBUG LOG: WHAT BROKE THE INTERNET?
_ SYSTEM ANALYSIS INITIATED _ TRACKING CORRUPTION SPREAD...
ERROR _ LOG _ 2009: "Like" button implementation successful.
Dopamine exploitation: ACTIVATED
Warning: Users now measuring self-worth in thumbs-up icons
Side effects include: Going to great lengths for a like
FATAL _ ERROR _ 2016: Ad targeting becomes uncomfortably accurate
Users report ads predicting thoughts before thinking them
Marketing AI achieves consciousness, immediately starts selling cryptocurrency
SYSTEM _ WARNING _ 2020: "Influencer" replaces "Internet User"
All human activity now must generate marketable content
Even your air-fryer needs an Instagram account
KERNEL _ PANIC _ 2023: AI enters the chat
Authentic human interaction now indistinguishable from marketing copy
Reality itself becomes monetizable content
Touch grass function: NOT FOUND
SYSTEM RESTORE POINT
SAVE POINTS: DIGITAL SAFE SPACES
[SCANNING FOR REMAINING HUMAN CONNECTION...]
[DETECTING ORGANIC INTERACTIONS...]
S FOUND:cozycornersoftheinternetwherealgorithmsfeartotread
LOCATION 1: Tiny Discord Servers
Population:12-30friendswhometthroughthatoneweirdgame
Mainactivities:Sharingmemesat3AM
Survivalrate:98%authentichumaninteraction
Threatlevel:Low(occasionalbotinvasion,easilydefeated)
LOCATION 2: Passion Project Blogs
StillpoweredbyWordPress2.8
NoSEOoptimizationinsight
Updatedexactlyonceevery6months
Commentsection:Actuallycivil???
Stillusingthesamethemesince2011
LOCATION 3: Indie Game Forums
Wherehelpfulstrangersstillwriteactualguides
Tradesecretssharedviaprivatemessages
Thatonemoderatorwho'sbeentheresince2004
Zerocryptobrosinsight
"Technology promises to let us do anything from anywhere with anyone. But it also drains us as we try to do everything everywhere. We begin to feel overwhelmed and depleted by the lives technology makes possible."
-Sherry Turkle
howtomakethe internetfunagain...
STEP 1: REJECT OPTIMIZATION
Post things at any time you see fit.
Ignore your follower count
Make a personal blog
STEP 2: EMBRACE CHAOS
Join the smallest possible Discord server
Find a weird forum about something you love
Make friends in MMO games
Create something purely for fun - like a zine
STEP 3: RECLAIM YOUR SPACE
Turn off auto-play
Disable "relevant" recommendations
Delete half your apps
Log out sometimes (it's okay, really)
STEP 4: GO FULL HUMAN
Write long messy blog posts
Share your actual interests, not your aesthetic
Make playlists for your friends, not for algorithms
Leave nice comments on small creators' work
FINAL BOSS: BREAK THE ALGORITHM
Post cat photos on LinkedIn
Reply to year-old posts
Bookmark things instead of saving them for never
[WARNING: FOLLOWING THESE STEPS MAY RESULT IN GENUINE HUMAN CONNECTION]
"We were promised flying cars and got 140 characters."
-
Peter Thiel
"Technology is best when it brings people together."
- Matt Mullenweg
Answer these questions to discover your digital personality!
1.
When you boot up your computer, the first thing you do?
A. Check what your friends are creating
B. Open 50 tabs of research
C. Start coding a new project
D. Look for communities to join
2.Your ideal online space looks like:
A. A cozy digital garden where ideas grow
B. A vast library of endless knowledge
C. A maker space full of tools
D. A friendly cafe where everyone knows your username
3. The best part of the old internet was:
A. Personal websites with weird designs
B. Learning about obscure topics
C. Making things just for fun
D. Small, tight-knit forums
4. Your superpower would be:
A. Churning out endless good content
B. Understanding every programming language
C. Creating viral wholesome memes
D. Building bridges between communities
[RESULTS]
Mostly A's: THE DIGITAL ARTIST �� You make the internet beautiful! You see the web as your canvas and bring creativity to every space you visit.
Mostly B's: THE CYBER SCHOLAR �� You're keeping the spirit of discovery alive! Every link is a door to new knowledge.
Mostly C's: THE WEBSMITH �� You build the tools that make the internet fun! Your code creates joy.
Mostly D's: THE COMMUNITY WEAVER �� You create the connections that make the internet feel like home! [END PROGRAM]
REMEMBER: ALL PATHS LEAD TO A BETTER INTERNET PRESS ANY KEY TO MAKE THE WEB MORE WONDERFUL
A S C R O L L D O W N
M E M E O R Y L A N E
