BOAT BITES

Northern Exposure

Alaskan Snow Phallus

Well, we never thought we’d be writing about this, but we are: a giant penis stomped out in the snow in Alaska. Yep, in March under a full moon a bunch of local skinners (foreskinners?) climbed a couple thousand feet up a ridge in the Chugach Mountains outside the Alyeska Ski Resort and stomped out a massive phallic image in the snow in Tea Cup Bowl. Not enamored with the image of the massive male reproductive organ, the resort’s mountain manager hired a helicopter from Chugach Powder Guides to fly some ski patrollers up to bootpack it out. But that only made matters worse, with social posts blowing up with comments like, “Gross, they just gave it pubic hair.” Then, someone even laid tracks down it, stirring up such comments as, “Now they gave it a vein!” In the end, the pilot used the helicopter’s rotors to whitewash the offending illustration away.

Grammy Winner

Who says you can’t get a Grammy growing up in Steamboat? Certainly not Tyler Johnson, a 2004 Steamboat Springs High School graduate, who won a 2023 Grammy Award for his work on Harry Style’s album “Harry’s House.” Admitting they “were up against incredible artists,” Johnson was a writer and producer on the album alongside friend Tom “Kid Harpoon” Hull. The album, the second the duo wrote and produced with Styles, was nominated for Album of the Year, with its hit single “As it Was” being nominated for Record of the Year and Song of the Year. Harry’s House won the coveted Album of the Year as well as the first televised award, Best Pop Vocal Album. Other nominees included ABBA’s “Voyage”, Bad Bunny’s “Un Verano Sin Ti”, Lizzo’s “Special” and Beyonce’s “Renaissance.” Hopefully drawing inspiration from his hometown mountains, Johnson also co-produced the song “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus, the lead single on her “Endless Summer Vacation” album.

Cheers to Beer League!

Think intramural/beer league sports don’t matter? From hoops and volleyball to softball, soccer and even, yes, curling, they’re a huge part of living in town for athletic locals (and a great excuse to go hang out with the gang). Case in point: this photo of the A league Mad Dogs hockey team, after cinching its win at Howelsen Ice Arena this spring, complete with a raucous crowd largely made up of ski instructors with nothing better to do on a Tuesday night (don’t ask about the helmets they’re wearing).

In Search of...Sage Grouse

Bird watchers cherish North Routt mating ritual

Having trouble wooing a mate on Schmiggitys’ dance floor? Take a cue from the greater sage-grouse. Once a huge part of our local culture (Hayden used to harvest it “by the wagonload” and Craig hosted annual “Sage Hen Days”), the bird’s population may have declined, but not its “Hey there, big boy” mating ritual—or allure for bird watchers eager to glimpse its gyrations. Both the Wilderness Society and Colorado Environmental Coalition lead excursions to watch their chest-puffing mating rituals, which we could all learn from. “Every spring folks come from all over the country to watch the males do their strangely intriguing mating dance on the traditional mating grounds or leks,” says Soren Jespersen, former northwest Colorado Wildlands coordinator for The Wilderness Society. “It’s truly an amazing courtship ritual...not a single person we’ve taken there has come home disappointed.”

The courtship entails male sage grouse inflating air sacs on their chests while dancing on their ancestral breeding grounds. But without a guide, they’re hard to find. “Because of their rarity Colorado Parks & Wildlife doesn’t reveal the exact locations of the leks,” adds Jespersen. While some grouse ply their trade in North Routt, the best place for viewing is north of Craig, where TWS and CEC conduct tours, as do grouse-savvy outfitters like Dean Visintainer, who takes guests to a lek on his private land. Whatever you see, pay attention; emulate its moves and you just may lure in a possible mate yourself at the free summer concert series.

Steamboat Social Club

From distillery to desks. That’s the plot line for the new Steamboat Social Club, a workspace/party hub put together by Michael Britton and Tim Hickory at the former downtown home of the Steamboat Whiskey Co. With a variety of community membership options, from full use of the club’s amenities and social events to partial and even day options, the space will offer a mix of open desks and private rooms, conference rooms, breakout rooms and lounge areas, all with a modern industrial feel. The pet-friendly space will also offer a deck, standing work desks, extra monitors, high-speed internet, printers and more—including parties.

Ode to Opportunarians

Allergic to…Nothing

Sure, we empathize with all you vegans, vegetarians, pescatarians and Glutenfree, dairy-free, and even quinoa-free eaters out there. But how about a shout out to all the underserved “opportunarians” out there, you know the ones who chow down on any and everything, whatever’s around? They’re also the easiest to prepare for and please. So, next time you encounter one, tip your hat (as long as it’s not leather, because that might be fair game also).