Resolution Leader's Guide

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Video lution

Series

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CONTENTS Welcome to The Resolution Video Series............................... 4 Your Role as a leader........................................................... 5 Session Overview.................................................................. 7 Session 1: Ben’s Story............................................................ 10 Session 2: Thriving................................................................ 14 Session 3: Longings............................................................... 17 Seven Longings..................................................................... 20 Session 4: Overcoming.......................................................... 17 Session 5: The Brain.............................................................. 24 Session 6: Live It!.................................................................. 28 Conclusion........................................................................... 36

WELCOME To The Resolution Video Series We are so glad that you’ve decided to lead others through this journey. So what is this series all about? Well, God created us to thrive and to flourish. This primarily happens as we experience healthy relationships with Him, others and ourselves (i.e., our ability to see ourselves as God sees us—lovable and valuable). But the reality is, we live in a broken world where things are not the way they were originally meant to be. We are born into spiritual brokenness and disconnection from God. We hurt others and are hurt by others. As a result, our longings which God intended to be met go unmet. Many are left in a wake of rejection and brokenness. This can be catastrophic as people long for affirmation and acceptance only to find loneliness, low self-worth, and a variety of struggles.

Many young people are experiencing loneliness, anxiety and depression at record levels. Devoid of a rich relationship with God and others, they struggle to see their value.

But God loves them deeply and wants more for them. “The thief comes only to steal

and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10). By engaging in a closer relationship with God and others, individuals can begin to see themselves as valuable and lovable with a purpose.

This study will walk you through how to lead a group on a path which will enable them to thrive! You will help them to build a trusted circle of support around themselves in order to have their longings met, identify and understand their unmet longings and unwanted behaviors, and learn how to redirect their thoughts, time and energy from unhealthy to healthy things. It will also guide you to help them find true freedom from their hurts and struggles as they develop healthy relationships with God and others, resulting in the ability to see themselves as God sees them.

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YOUR ROLE AS THE LEADER Thank you for making a commitment to lead your group through The Resolution Video Series. As you seek God for guidance, your devotion and dedication will bear fruit in the lives of the people you lead in more ways than you will ever see.

We understand that preparation for each meeting will take extra time and effort.

Whether you’re hosting a group in your home, at church, another location, or online, we want you to be encouraged that your dedication will produce fruit in the lives of those you serve.

As you prepare for each meeting, we encourage you to do so prayerfully. Be open to God’s leading and ready to receive whatever He has for you and your group.

H E R E I S W H A T YO U S H O U L D P R E PA R E I N A D VA N C E F O R E A C H M E E T I N G : • Watch the video and review the Study Guide.

• Review the personal response questions and be ready to share some ideas with the group to jump start conversation.

• Identify any discussion topics not in the workbook that you feel would benefit the group as it relates to this material and their needs.

• Send a reminder out to the group with details of the upcoming meeting (date, time, location, tasks they are to complete in advance, etc.). We recommend allotting a minimum of 1 hour per session to allow time for rich discussion and ample time to answer questions.

Be prepared to lead the group in fruitful discussions and respond to challenging questions. Consider the suggestions below to encourage a positive experience for everyone.

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F O S T E R A H E A L T H Y, S U P P O R T I V E E N V I R O N M E N T WHERE DISCUSSIONS ARE...

• Positive and constructive. People bring different personalities and experiences to the group. Ensure that all members get the most out of your time together by managing discussions to keep them constructive and positive.

• On topic. Prepare in advance to bring conversations back from tangents in a supportive way.

• Facilitated with presence and engagement. Practice active listening and avoid giving unsolicited advice. Silence phones and devices. Encourage group participants to do the same.

• Held in a safe environment. Just as we are hurt in relationships, so also we heal in relationships. The group is a powerful tool that God can use to bring healing and freedom to participants. Have participants agree that what is said in the group stays in the group. Affirm people’s feelings and show empathy when people share about their challenges and open up.

RESPOND TO QUESTIONS YOU DON’T KNOW T H E A N S W E R T O B Y. . .

• Being honest. Let the group know that although you don’t have an answer, you will find one and discuss it at the next meeting.

• Keeping a list. Using a white board, a sheet of paper, or some other means, keep track of all questions asked that you need to follow up with the group on. Cross them off after you answer them.

During each meeting use your LEADER NOTES as a guide to structure your time and initiate discussions.

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SESSION OVERVIEW Week 1 INTRODUCTION WITH BEN’S STORY Ben shares about his journey from pain to redemption, healing, and thriving and how reaching out for help changed everything.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES: • Get to know each other.

• Conduct a group discussion about why this study is important.

• Discuss why having one another’s support for struggles in life is more helpful than facing them alone.

• Identify steps to take in order to build a trusted circle of support.

Week 2 THRIVING When it comes to thriving, no matter what we try, there’s one thing that has to be at the foundation. This week, the group will learn what it is and why it’s so important for a thriving life.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES: • Discuss how healthy relationships are at the foundation of God’s design for us.

• Identify steps to take in order to build healthy interpersonal skills which will help build good relationships.

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Week 3 LONGINGS Unhealthy thoughts and behaviors are merely a symptom of a deeper problem–hurt and unmet longings.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES: • Define the Seven Longings.

• Discover what your unmet longings are and how they affect you.

Week 4 OVER COMING We don’t have to remain stuck in unhealthy patterns. When we understand the unmet longings behind our unwanted behaviors, we can start to experience freedom.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES: • Identify personal unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.

• Define steps that can be applied daily which serve as a guide to a thriving life.

Week 5 THE BRAIN Learn why it takes more than just a desire to kick bad habits and identify crucial steps to overcome them successfully.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES: • Explain the role the brain plays in perpetuating emotional and behavior patterns.

• Identify ways to rewire the brain in order to redirect unhealthy patterns to healthy ones.

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Week 6 LIVE IT! Overcoming the painful consequences of unmet longings and living a fulfilled, thriving life is possible! Learn about the intentional, ongoing steps you can take to stay on track.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES: • Describe the three areas of importance in regard to healthy relationships.

• Identify the personal obstacles that are in the way of experiencing healthy relationships.

• List the steps that can be taken to overcome the obstacles and begin the path to a thriving, fulfilling life.

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BEN’S STORY LEADER NOTES: Welcome and greet everyone as they arrive.

Suggested discussion points to kick off the meeting: 1. Thank everyone for being a part of the group and encourage them by sharing some exciting insights they’ll be able to take away from the study.

2. Hand out a meeting schedule with dates, times, locations, etc. for the series.

3. Establish expectations of how the meetings will be conducted.

4. Lead the group in a round table introduction exercise allowing everyone to share a little about themselves.

5. Ask the group what they are looking forward to getting out of the study. This will help you tailor the discussions to meet their expectations.

Kick off the series by praying together.

Opening Prayer Dear Lord, thank you for loving us no matter what struggles we’re dealing with. Thank you for Your unending grace and mercy and for bringing us together as we seek You in our circumstances. Meet us where we are today and in the coming weeks as we study this material together. Open our minds and hearts to understand and receive all that You have for us in this study. Give us courage to take the steps we need in order to be able to overcome our hurts and to thrive. Fill our hearts with compassion for each other—that we will be affirming, supportive and loving in our interaction and lead us each to be trustworthy, keeping all that is shared strictly between us. Bring people around each of us to provide loving support in all the areas we need along this journey.

Thank you for all that You will do in our hearts and lives. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Discuss the introductory paragraph and Scripture verse to prepare your minds about why this session is so important.

Ben’s story is one of pain and redemption—an experience we can all have in this broken world. As we grieve, God grieves and He has set practical things in place in order to help us in our suffering and carry us along a journey of healing so that we might thrive.

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10 NIV Watch the Session 1 video together and then facilitate a group discussion about the questions below.

WATC H T H E V I D E O A N D D I S C U S S 1. Ben longed to feel safe, valued and accepted, but the hurtful treatment he received from others left him feeling rejected with a low sense of self-worth. What behavior and mental health issues did he develop as a result?

(Anger, lashing out to keep others away, isolating, emotionally shutting down, viewing porn, developing anxiety, developing depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, wondering if God would reject him too.)

2. Ben prayed for 12 years for God to take away his pain and addiction. After finally reaching out to others for support he began his journey to healing. Why do you think that prayer alone wasn’t the solution to Ben’s struggles?

(God created us for relationships, to help one another and to lift one another up. Once Ben was ready to reach out for help, God helped him to find the support he needed) 3. Who were the parties in Ben’s support team who walked with him through his healing journey?

(A therapist, people already in his life and a program which helped him understand his unmet longings and hurt behind his struggles and unwanted behaviors) 4. Ben said that he “began this lifestyle of reaching out for help” and experienced acceptance and affirmation. What did he mean by this?

(He changed his mindset going forward from trying to work through difficulties alone to reaching out to others for help)

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5. Ben said: “I began to see God for who He actually is—as my loving Father who cares

deeply for my life, who wants to engage deeply and to know me, who believes in me. I started to see myself as God sees me—as His son with infinite value and worth, with gifts here for a purpose to make an impact.”

Why do you think that Ben began to understand God’s love once he began to receive it from others?

(Healing happens experientially in relationships. 1 John 4:12 “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”)

Take as much time as the group needs to individually review and answer the selfassessment questions below. Assure them that unless they want to, they will not be required to share their responses; they are designed for their own self-discovery.

SELF-ASSESSMENT What, if anything, have you done to try and cope with the pain from your unmet longings and hurt? Have you allowed other supportive people to help you? _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ Have you been able to confide in anyone about things you’re struggling with? What has that process been like? _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ If you don’t already have a trusted circle of people who are committed to helping you on your journey of healing, who are a few people you can consider inviting in? _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________

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Review the information below together as a group. Be prepared to answer any questions the group may have as well as to provide additional tips that would be helpful for your group. Encourage the group to work together to encourage and support one another over the next week.

THINGS TO CONSIDER God designed us to be in relationship with Him as well as with others. Together we thrive!

Here are some steps to help you begin engaging with others to walk with you along your healing journey.

Consider the people you feel most comfortable with in your life. Prayerfully consider asking them if they would like to stand with you through this process. Some things to look for in these people: • You must be able to trust them to keep everything you share confidential.

• They must be able to listen and affirm you without rushing to give advice or judge you.

• If you’re under the age of 18, it’s best to look for trustworthy adults like parents, youth workers or professional or school counselors. Friends can always be supportive as well if they meet the above criteria but it’s best to also engage with more experienced adults.

Conclude the meeting by thanking everyone for coming and give them a brief snapshot about what they will learn next week in the Thriving session.

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