MY UNSPOKEN TRUTH: Issue #1

FOUNDED by Chad Stutesman

I believe we all have the power to help others and change the world one by one.

Your life struggles and how you’ve coped, overcome and persevered could truly bless so many individuals far beyond your wildest dreams. Let your past be the greatest asset towards helping others through being a positive influence in countless lives. You are all so wonderfully created and I believe in you all.

God believes in you even when you do not believe in yourself.

YOU ARE LOVED Chad Shane Stutesman (April 20th, 1983 - July 12th, 2017)

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ADDICTION AWARENESS 6 A Letter From The Editor - A warm welcome from our fearless

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leader. Editor-In-Chief Joshua A. Lloyd.

7 Let’s Play A Game - Sound perspective from a family member, and close friend.

12 Why the DARE program failed.

17 Coppersmith - Poetry Written by Dominic Coccaro 19 We Are More Heart Than Scars - Sound perspective from a

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family member, and close friend.

29 My Son’s Most Formative Moments - Written by the father of an Autistic child, Mike Ethridge.

#nofilter 35 Flags for the Symbol-Minded - With content producer and column writer A.D. Weighs.

35 Group-Think- The practice of thinking as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility.

41 Overdose victim Phillip Chaffin - The following letters are excerpts from his journal.

HALF PAGE INSIDE COVEr fold

Research and Development 47 The Faulty Logic Of The War On Drugs: Written by Sam Snodgrass PhD. 50 The MUT’s Guide To Self Improvement - Welcome to our premiere guide to find resources for addiction, depression, anxiety and much more.

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Co-Founders Joshua A. Lloyd Chad Shane Stutesman

EDITORIAL STAFF Joshua A. Lloyd Editor-in-Chief Savannah Willingham Creative Director Rita K. Moore Research & Development A.D. Weighs Key Producer Dominic Coccaro Concept Development

GRAPHIC DESIGN Graphic Design Provided by JoshLloydMedia, LLC

Column Writers A.D. Weighs Kendra Intihar Phillip Chaffin Dominic Coccaro Christina Lloyd Covin Lauren Feeney Hilary Johnson Erica Muse Sam Snodgrass PhD. Savannah Willingham

Lauren Feeney Photographer

Special Thanks to

Zackary Paben Philanthropy Advisor

Barbara Chaffin Heather Hayes Andrea Leone Lloyd Deborah Mattox Lloyd Lucy Paxton Thrasher Takele Woldu

Andrea Leone Lloyd Pharmaceutical Advisor Jerry Mattox Website Development

SALES OFFICE

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED JoshLloydMedia, LLC Copyright 2019

RIDGE JOURNAL P.O. Box 823, Black Mountain, NC 28711 828.234.6347

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MASTHEAD

awful things about him in heinous public ways. Chad owned his addiction, his dishonesty, his corrupted behavior. AND in the end - he never blamed anyone but himself for the things he did that were wrong.

A Letter from the Editor Chad and I were good friends for more than 15 years.

Together, we ran in a crew that were thick as thieves and he had my back on countless occasions. So now, I must return his favor..

While time grew us apart I came to know him again a few years ago. It was clear he was sincerely struggling to keep it together but, he was still the most open minded & charismatic person I have ever known or will know.

I challenge all of you to look deeply into your soul and ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to take responsibility for your own actions in life. And save all judgement on this man’s soul for God, and God alone; As I knew this man and loved him. And I know his true intentions on this Earth were to love everyone & help those most in need.

In the end, I feel that I might have been the only friend he had left. And while I want to tell everyone who judged him to (go fuck yourselves) - I know that he would not want this.

I wish Chad’s family the very best and pray to God we all rebound from his loss more knowledgeable of both ourselves and the pandemic influences that inevitably took Chad’s life. It’s a shame we lost him at such a young age.

Chad Stutesman loved everyone. Even people who said

I’m Josh Lloyd and this is My Unspoken Truth.

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Let’s play a game

Approximately one in every ten Americans are addicted to some drug or another.

Let’s imagine that all 8 billion people on Earth are actually stars in our galaxy. Roughly one out of every thousand stars is massive enough to become a black hole. A lot of the people who suffer from addiction are our greatest minds. We can align their creative talents and ambition to be much like a shining star.

Chad was one of these massive stars. He boasted a very bright light and had amazing ideas that could help people on a higher level.

Chad’s message was often for the addict, but my message is for the people who are friends and family members of addicts. This is because, I am a friend and family member of several addicts. I have family members in prison and others in rehab that I can’t talk about for fear of embarrassing them. In total truth they are stuck in these broken systems, and I’m here today writing this article to maybe help them in some way.

Roughly one out of every thousand stars that form is massive enough to become a black hole.

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I have found some perspective on addiction that I wish to share with the world. I discovered this perspective waching members of my own family struggle to cope with these issues for many years.

- If not decades.

TO ENABLE

Often times, our mothers are the first responders when dealing with a child suffering from addiciton.

It’s because they love unconditionally. A mother will very quickly take action and when she responds, she can very easily fly too close to the addict and enable this person to use more frequently. This can also happen to our sisters, brothers, our fathers. Loving aunts and uncles too. This happens to anyone who is compassionate enough to care and be there for a person suffering from addiction.

When members of our family suffer from addiction, they often act like black holes. These people who we want to trust become capable of horrific acts against us. And at times react negligently with little regard for other people’s needs. As a drug seeker, an addict will find ways to take your money, your pride and if we’re not careful - they could even take your life from you.

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neglect

If they are not alone, they have found a way to surround themselves with people who are suffering in similar ways.

On the reverse of that we have the neglect strategy that a lot of people (especially our fathers) have adopted.

Your family member in question will have found comradery in the very same people who will keep them using drugs. As in (we are the company that we keep). These people will continue to find new and unique ways to continue suffering from the black hole of addiction. And they will do so together.

The ideology is in thinking that this is what you’re suppose to do when someone begins using drugs.

The overwhelming sad fact of this idea is in understanding that when we push a star too far away, we eventually become cold and removed.

With compassion for what the individual is going through, I have to say thank God they have each other, because if they didn’t have one another they’d have no one.

When we adopt this mindset, our family members suffer for it. They become distant, ashamed, at times very affraid and they are almost always alone.

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We need to find a new ways to bring these people together in a more positive and uplifting environment.

that help our families cope with addiction together.

In the river of life, it’s the rocks that rub together who become smooth.

As families, we must seek a Goldilocks Zone approach to the addiction(s) our family members are suffering from. We cannot get too close to them because it’s too hot as an approach. And we must not push them too far away because it’s so cold of an ideal.

We often do this at home within our family unit.

Sometimes our very best relationships are with the people who do not always tell us what we want to hear. These “rocks” often rub together in times of death and hardship. When we find ourselves at odds with one another.

We have to find a way to reach some form of an agreement in the middle. And we cannot do this all on our own. Societal structures must be put in place

We can and should have deeply divided debates on topics that need to be addressed within the family.

It’s okay to disagree. Disagreement is a key ingre-

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dient for personal growth. This can manifest as a disagreement with one’s self, and often with others that we love and respect. When we are all in a state of appeasement, no true progress can ever be made.

people. All we truly need to be happy is to be close to other people, to create family and to love one another by simply being in the moment. Through this practice, we are making life better, and their studies have proven that we even live longer lives.

There is an 80 year old study put forth by Harvard University that has persisted in taking a very long look at Happiness. From this, we have learned what it takes to not just find happiness, but to maintain it and even cultivate happiness over time.

Even more so, what we can pull from this study is that loneliness is literally a killer. It’s affect on us is as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.

To best understand our addicts, we must realize they are not just using drugs. Many are suffering from some form of depression, and have high anxiety when coexisting in society. When we remove our support, we exacerbate the problem just as much, if not more than when we act to enable. It’s imperative we work towards the common good and become mindful of these issues moving forward.

To this day, Doctor Robert Waldinger and his team at Harvard are continuing to seek out the happiest people in our society.

What they have come to understand most recently is that it doesn’t matter how much money we make.

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WHY THE PROGRAM FAILED

sight in what our society truly needed to hear. The word resist was fundamentally the wrong direction for our culture and it set forth a stigma that would eventualy lead to the programs demise.

Rumor has it, the D.A.R.E. program is back. If so, they have best brought a brand new edition because their first campaign in the 1990’s failed like a mother fucker.

In the 1990’s, how could we resist drugs when the pharmaceutical companies were advertising so heavily for us to use the drugs they recommended?

The administration in place is telling us (to this day) that marijuana, LSD and Psilocybin (to name a few) are in fact very bad for us. All while providing if not shoving semi-synthetic opiates like Oxycodone, and Percocet down our throats. And over prescribing amphetamines such as Ritalin and Adderall to our children because “they do not test well.”

Why did it fail? - It failed because of one word in it’s acronym. D.A.R.E. - Drug Awareness and Resistance Education. To Resist Drugs and Violence. They even doubled down on the word in their slogan. And in doing so, they put forth a huge over

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This chart features many of the drugs in use today.

The large majority of the drugs to the left of this graph are considered legal and are over-prescribed to the mass public every day.

ue, and are considered severely unsafe.� For example, narcotics such as MDMA, LSD, and Psilocybin are ALL considered SCHEDULE ONE.

The values in RED depict the harm that you can cause to others when under the the drugs influence.

And the values in BLUE depict the harm you can do to yourself. You can see clearly that many of the legal drugs are our most dangerous.

Marijuana is included as a Class 1 drug despite it being recreationally legal in some states and proven medicinally valuable for people suffering from muscle spasms caused by Multiple Sclerosis, nausea from cancer chemotherapy, chronic illness such as HIV or nerve pain, seizure disorders and Crohns Disease.

The drugs depicted on the far right are considered SCHEDULE ONE narcotics. These drugs are deemed illegal by the DEA. As they claim these drugs have “high abuse potential, no medicinal val-

Many of the drugs to the right of this chart are the least harmful to us, yet they are still deemed illegal.

As citizens we have to ask a brazen question. WHY? I believe it is greed that motivates this exploitation.

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RESEARCH

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We are helping Chad to kickstart his platform MY UNSPOKEN TRUTH as an attempt to fix the corrupted systems that we live in today.

Chad’s platform is to allow people to write into us anonymously and speak without the fear of being outted and arrested for suffering from a condition they cannot control. This is also a place to speak up and share your story with a warm community of followers who will actually listen to your words and not judge you. This is a safe place for people to say what needs to be said. We must find a way to reach these people and provide them with a voice that is heard. Because in today’s age of content marketing, many of them do not have one.

Chad did everything he could to find his own voice. Sometimes he would be high as a kite, screaming into the deep abyss of the internet. And he did not always represent himself as he wished to, but at least he was saying something and he was trying. He ran into a lot of flack from people he trusted for this, too. He did not always get to keep his videos online and his messages alive.

We’ve taken Chad’s legacy under our wing and we’re going to continue moving forward with his message. What is your UNSPOKEN TRUTH? 1 Corinthians 15:33 33. Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

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“Coppersmith” Stop talking about God And Carrie can’t come with Leaves will have to fill my knapsack Until I call the Coppersmith Mama, it hurts so much What am I supposed to do?

Dead end’s comin’ up But not quick enough Granny Smith in the graveyard Wish I could see her ghosts Eidolic guidepost Mama, I know it hurts What are you supposed to do?

When I blather on suicide I’m not just advertising Or ventilating Mama, I want to leave But don’t worry, I can’t Even if I could push it through I couldn’t leave you - Dom Coccaro

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AWARENESS

“We are more than the sum of our parts.�

- Aristotle

More Heart Than Scars To help those with physical, mental or emotional scars realize they can live beyond them with More Heart Than Scars. This platform is for the under represented who are suffering from physicil, mental or emotional injury. They and their loved ones can come together through our nonprofit to better understand trauma and disease. Together we transcend our visible and invisible scars!

We build relational necessities to provide conflict resolution for individuals dedicated to a personal, sustainable future. We help to bring an end to emerging mental negativity through dramatic changes in our environment by securing both mental and physical development goals to individuals as treatment to bring about mental clarity and positive physical change.

Global recognition of our agenda through the inter-connectivity of team building by way of meaningful engagement with us is paramount. We strive to revitalize and maintain our activism through innovative team building excersizes. All while remaining cognizant of the fluctuate marginalization of our efforts when tasked with future challenges.

This mindfulness allows us to reduce small-scale shifting of our organization through the promise of developmental safety protocol, team empowerment, focus and the impact on meaningful work for scale-able change.

CONCRETE EMPATHY

Transforming Autism on the Spartan Course

By Matthew Deitch Nine months ago, if someone had told me I’d be slogging through mud, climbing obstacles, and picking up heavy stuff just to walk around with it and put it back down, I would have said they were a lunatic. Nine months ago, I was in a complete emotional shutdown. I didn’t leave the safety of my bedroom unless it was absolutely necessary, but somehow, I was convinced into doing a Spartan race.

Correction: I was convinced into helping a half-paralyzed man through a steep, muddy trail with obstacles.

Mark, the adaptive athlete we were working with, was brave enough to put himself in our hands and do a race many would call impossible. We might have been helping him physically, but he was our inspiration. Had I not had that inspiration, I would have given up. Carrying and pulling a wheelchair in those conditions would have mentally crushed me.

I didn’t think about the weight of the chair or the weakness in my body. I thought about Mark’s safety, his strength, the strength of everyone around me. By the end, I felt strong too. And I took that strength with me, used it in my everyday life, pushed myself beyond my perceived limits, and left the false comfort of isolation. Spartan on the course and Spartan off course.

-Izzy, Black Mountain Academy Student

“It had rained all week, and the grassy field parking area now had a knee deep creek running through it.”

The Beastie Boys were echoing off the quarry’s stone walls and Ishwar’s shoes were covered in Carolina clay and he did not want to tie them. His friends at Black Mountain Academy (BMA), a school for boys with Autism Spectrum Disorder, had talked him into trying the Spartan Race and he was too far in to turn back. As his ears were bombarded by the aptly titled “Sabotage”, Ishwar recalls feeling worried about getting through, and how muddy he was going to get, and even if his shoes would stay tied.

The sensory overload could be too much, but Ishwar understood he was there on a mission with his team, More Heart Than Scars (MHTS). He had signed up and trained for this but at the moment he was stuck.

The mission was this: The students of BMA had to race, but not to win it themselves. Instead, they were tasked to guide Spartan athlete Mark Herbert, a paraplegic, through an obstacle course that’s challenging to the most able bodied and neurotypical adults. The feat would require sweat and muscle, but also emotional strength and real teamwork among athletes and peers.

At the team tent, Ishwar silently stared at his shoes. After a silence, Mark wheeled over and asked: “Do you need any help?” and Ishwar replied “yes”... Looking back, Ishwar had this to say:..

“Mark helped me with tying my shoes and gave me some encouragement before we started the course.

I loved it, it was so much fun. All the obstacles, the challenges, and helping other people makes the experience more worth it.”

Some of the benefits of working with More Heart Than Scars include...

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An increased sense of belonging to increase inter-connectivity.

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Solutions that cross cultural boundaries to evoke a social catalyst for team building.

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Transformative results that establish future succession of the MHTS message.

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Courageous team leaders who make change possible.

It is not often enough that people in wheelchairs are asked for help. It’s even rarer that people on the Autism Spectrum are given responsibility for the safety of another person, let alone in an environment as challenging as the Asheville Super. With Mark’s act of kindness, a tangible connection was formed between the two. A connection Zackary Paben refers to as “concrete empathy.”

Led by seasoned Spartan Athlete, Zackary Paben; Who has empowered adolescents and adults to achieve broadbased recovery from severe physical and emotional issues since 1991. And Wendy Jenkins Paben (co-founder) who both works on the course and as clinical director, MHTS is doing something that no one has done before.

For the boys with ASD to be the primary members of a team. Both assisting adaptive athletes, and leading the group through the Spartan Race National Championships, was something very special. Zackary and Wendy, who have led over 50 of these types of adventures, have prov-

en without a doubt that they have in fact mastered the art of team work with integrity, and a sheer will to thrive in a team environment. In doing this, they afford their team a mixture of on-site therapy and the full-on push of a collaborate group effort. In doing this, they have realized the impossible.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ATS) is a developmental disorder that is characterized by difficulty in social interaction and communicatio, and restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behavior. According to Autism Speaks, ASD affects 1 in 59 children in the United States today. In addition to these basic characteristics, ASD also includes aversion to sensory stimuli such as sound, heat, cold, textures, and smells. Put simply by Brandon Moffitt, the Executive Director of BMA...

“Consider that everywhere you go there are sights, sounds, smells, and experiences that overwhelm you or cause confusion or an acute sense of stress.”

As Spartans, we know the races are jam-packed with stimulation. From World Championships in frozen locations like Iceland to the muddy water of the Dunk Wall, a Spartan course tests the mettle of our bodies and minds, but through the promise of MHTS of faith, love, hope, and heart, we can transcend our visible and invisible scars by overcoming obstacles together and encouraging others to live so boldly.

When BMA students look at Mark Herbert and can see his physical scars; it makes them consider the invisible scars they hold. The team at MHTS devote to their lives to these moments. More Heart Than Scars aspires to carry the momentum from a race back into a person’s daily life.

As each new stimulus bears down on people with Autism, one’s first Spartan race can build, within hours, a resilience they’d never had.

Observing Zackary’s methods, Jim Johnston, Clinical Director of Black Mountain Academy, recalls of one young student...

“I thought he would never do a race, but Zackary got him to commit, and I believe that was the first step in a procession of new life experiences for this young man. Including, sticking with a job and pushing through his college class stress.”

In a Spartan race, communication is everything. At a MHTS event for children on the spectrum, the ability to name their own needs and respond to the needs of an athlete in a wheelchair is essential for safety and success.

Cameron Allen, a neuroscientist who specializes in neurofeedback and neuroimaging who works with BMA students, explains...

“With individuals on the spectrum, one of the neural markers is a decreased social reward. There is an expectation for what social interaction should be like, but when it fails to meet that expectation, it creates an emotional reaction causing more isolation and avoidance. Engaging in ‘concrete empathy’, like in the Spartan races, where the individual sees the other person’s needs visually, it allows them to move towards connection and escape the expectation. That concrete image of the person whose legs do not work finally allows the individual to feel real empathy and truly release oxytocin.”

Mark Herbert is a man who has both inspired and connected with the students of BMA. After having his T8 and T9 vertebrae crushed in a car accident, Mark had to retire from the Wake County Sheriff ’s Department. Today, Mark is well known in the Spartan Community and has completed more Spartan Races with MHTS and BMA than any other adaptive athlete.

Having completed a number of races, Mark recalled this to say about the BMA Students...

“I remember being apprehensive about the idea of having autistic teenagers being responsible for helping me through the course. I was unsure how their level of communication would play out during the race. Today, any student from Black Mountain Academy that wanted to race with me I would welcome. I would even take them over most OCR athletes. Together, we’ve overcome something that nobody can see.”

It is something truly powerful and unseen before now. It changes the students, and they grow. Their success branches through networks of family, friends, and support teams.

Spartan Elite Athlete Laura Messner stated...

“This day was extra special for me because I was able to support some of the young men from Black Mountain Academy who have autism.

Growing up with an autistic brother, I fully understand how challenging being in an OCR atmosphere can be. There’s always loud music or cheering. Lots of people, obstacles that require physical touch for support Changes in textures (mud, dirt, sand), as well as many other things that can affect the way an autistic person reacts to change.

However, once we started our adventure out on that course, many of those determined, driven, young men showed no signs of discomfort. One of them had mentioned how it was inspiring to watch others overcome their struggles and how that motivated him to not give up And how this urged him to go outside of his comfort zone as well.

I found today’s event to be a huge success for More Heart Than Scars, and an even greater opportunity from Black Mountain Academy.

What a wonderful group of young men. I am proud, and honored to be a part of this historic break-through moment.”

“My Son’s Most Formative Moments”

tan race was so unimaginable, that it would not have registered in my wildest of fantasies.

Written by: Mike Ethridge

When you learn your child has autism, one of the first things you must do is give up your notion of July 7th, 2017: the life you had hoped your child would have—going to college, getting a job, living independently, a This is from the father of one of our student’s liv- life with close friendships where he’s fully engaged ing with autism. He walked the entire course with in the world around him. This time last year I had us as his son gained strength in character through come to grips with the fact that such a life was not relationship excersizes that can last a lifetime... a possibility for Austin.

“This past Sunday my son and I completed our first Spartan Race. We were a part of Zack Paben’s More Heart Than Scars team, and our task was to help Mark, an adaptive athlete, negotiate the arduous four-and-a-half-mile course of mud, downed trees, creeks, barbed wire, and formidable obstacles that comprised the Spartan Sprint. Mark’s courage to undertake this challenge was inspiring by anyone’s measure. But, for me, just as inspiring were the stories of some of the other members of our team--5 boys on the autism spectrum who were students at Black Mountain Academy. My son, Austin, was one of those boys.

Austin turned 17 yesterday. This time last year he spent his days locked in his bedroom playing video games. He had no friends, was severely overweight, hated any form of exercise, refused to go to school, and was chronically depressed. This time last year, the notion that Austin would participate in a Spar

After 8 months in a therapeutic boarding school with no video games, learning how to live with a group of guys he doesn’t always get along with, going to the gym daily and eating healthy meals, Austin was a different young man. He had lost over 60 pounds and for the first time in his life he had begun to get an inkling of what he’s capable of.

I thought about all of this as we made our way through the mud toward the starting line for Sunday’s race. Austin was tethered to the back of Mark’s wheel chair, and it was Austin’s job to act as the brake. His job was to help lift Mark over logs and obstacles and to keep the wheel chair from tipping over as the group made its way up steep muddy banks, through creeks and across all kinds of crazy terrain. To compete in a Spartan race with all the obstacles and brutal terrain is impressive. To do it while constantly lifting a full-grown man in a wheel chair, was positively heroic.

About a third of the way through the race I was cold, wet and totally miserable. There was nothing about what we were doing that would come anywhere close to the word “fun.” But at the same time, I knew (with amazing clarity) that it would be one of the best days of my life. I had no idea that Austin was capable of physically doing what he was doing in that race. But more than that, I had no idea that this kid could demonstrate the level of mental fortitude it took to complete the course. Not once did he complain or even hint at wanting to give up. He was all in for the full 6 hours—lifting, toting, pushing, pulling, encouraging others. Not for a second did it ever occur to him to do anything other than what needed to be done. And to see that was pure magic.

Since Sunday it’s been impossible for me to talk about the race without my throat tightening and my eyes filling with tears. I have spent a lot of time processing the day. And still I’m not sure I can find words that will come close to adequately describing that experience. But I can say this.

The special alchemy of Zack, More Heart Than Scars and the Spartan Race created a space where a young man, who has been isolated most of his life with few experiences of succeeding at anything, was given an opportunity to show himself (and the rest of us) what he was capable of.

Right now, I’m feeling pretty damn good about my kid’s future.”

Meet ROXIE THE AUSSIE Roxie is very popular in the OCR community. Roxie is the service dog and companion of Army Staff Seargant Desiree Rincon from Tampa Bay, Florida. This Australian Shepard works closely with Desiree and the More Heart Than Scars team to not just build morale, but she also keeps everyone in line.

In 2011, Staff Seargant Rincon was diagnosed with gastric cancer. As a result, she developed diabetes and found out that when she hit blood sugar lows, she would suffer from seizures. Roxie is a seizure dog.

Desiree’s caseworker at the VA put her in touch with Pets for Vets, a nonprofit group that provides second chances to shelter dogs by rescuing, training, and matching them with American veterans who need a companion pet.

Desiree and Roxie have raced more than 100 events together and there’s no sign of them letting up anytime soon. Follow Desiree, and Roxie as they race OCR events all over the

country, and sometimes the world.

Follow Roxie the Aussie online at @roxietheaussie.

WE ARE MORE HE

EART THAN SCARS

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Flags for the Symbol-Minded Column Writer A.D. Weighs

Yesterday marked the 7th anniversary of the death of George Carlin. If you’re familiar with his work, you’ll likely agree that he was more than just a comic. He also shared a lot of thought-provoking social commentary. I came across a Facebook post by The Church of George Carlin of Modern Day Saints – a group whose sole purpose is to pay tribute to the late comedian by posting video clips, memes and quotes highlighting some of the profound insight Carlin had to offer.

One video, in particular, “Jammin’ in New York” felt almost prophetic in a way. It was released in 1992, but from the very first bit, it seemed to address some of the issues we are discussing today in regards to the confederate flag.

As we are standing in the wake of the recent shooting deaths in Charleston, SC. Carlin boldly states, “I don’t get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol-minded.” EXACTLY! That’s how I feel as well. I always have.

I can recall being taught what the American flag means and what it represents in elementary school. I remember a song we used to sing in kindergarten..

“What do you see when you see the flag? What does it mean to you?”

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Now those are both questions, but the very next few lines of the song gave the answers; “I am free. The flag for me, the 50 shining stars. The red, the white, the blue.”

Now I can’t remember the rest of the song, but give me some credit. - I was only five. Looking back, I feel like we were being told what the flag means, so what the hell was the point of asking what it means to us?

I also recall being punished in first grade because I didn’t say the pledge of allegiance. I stood up with the rest of the class, put one hand over my heart, but instead of reciting the pledge, I just stood there silently, looking around at all the other first-graders as they stared at the flag, looking almost hypnotized and carefully reciting their pledge. I guess I’ve always had a problem with being told what to think and how I should feel.

As a child growing up in the Detroit Public School system in the 80’s, we were aware of the fact that teachers were allowed to paddle us when we misbehaved. I know that for a fact because I’ve spend a good amount of time on the business end of that horrible, ugly wooden paddle. That paddle was a legitimate fear for me at that time.

As children, we are told what to do and what not to do. I would be punished for doing or saying the wrong things. I would be punished for not doing things, but who the hell were they to try and tell me how to feel about it or what I should think?

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You can paddle me for not saying the pledge of allegiance while facing the American flag, but there is no way you can force me to view that flag as anything more than a symbol and the pledge to me was nothing more than a ritual. Even back then when I probably didn’t even know the word “ritual,” I knew in my mind that if we stopped saying the pledge, nothing would happen. School and life would still go on and my grades would still be the same. I thought it was stupid.

Those were my thoughts. Those were my feelings, but I kept going through the motions every morning so as to avoid a series of brutal whacks on my caboose.

I read a story on Yahoo news a few years ago about a student who got sent home from school as a punishment for drying his wet hands on the American flag in his classroom. Some of the readers left comments that were rather harsh. One person suggested the boy should be jailed. Another went as far as to say the boy should be executed.

I, on the other hand, didn’t see what the big deal was. Don’t misunderstand me, I know what the flag means to some people and I would never go out of my way to disrespect it just to get a reaction, but if this boy is being punished for not recognizing this symbol as something sacred, that’s sending the message that we don’t have any choice in the matter.

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To this point, we must feel the way we have been taught to feel about symbols, and there is no other option. Some would say he’s disrespecting our country. I see it as a symbol of the country and I think there is a difference. The symbol-minded might disagree.

Fast-forward to June of 2015. There were some people in Charleston, SC who had been driving past the confederate flag on their way to work for years and it never really bothered them much until a white-supremacist gunned down nine black people in a Charleston church.

Now, instead of addressing the real problem, which is racism, hatred and intolerance, people are looking for a quick, easy fix. They want one simple thing to blame and that “thing” has become the confederate flag, which, in my opinion, is just that - another “THING.” You may believe that this flag is a symbol of racism, but what makes you think removing the symbol will remove the racism? Even if the United States of America bans the rebel flag from every aspect of American culture and it became illegal to display it anywhere, white-supremacist would just adopt a new symbol, and probably do so in a matter of hours.

Problem solved.

So why were these people NOT complaining about the presence of the Confederate flag before the mass shooting?

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“I could never understand ethnic or national pride. Because to me, pride should be reserved for something you achieve or attain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn’t a skill, it’s a fucking genetic accident. You wouldn’t say “I’m proud to be 5’11”.

I’m proud to have a predisposition for colon cancer.” So why the fuck would you be proud to be Irish, or proud to be Italian, or American or anything?”

- George Carlin

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GROUPTHINK!

group·think / groop, THiNGk / noun NORTH AMERICAN 1. The practice of thinking or making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility.

“There’s always a danger of group-think when two leaders are so alike.”

Consider this: Someone, at some time in your life, had to teach you what the flag represents. It was probably someone you trusted and may have even loved. The problem is: they could only tell you their version of the story. They couldn’t tell you what it might mean for other people. They couldn’t illustrate how somebody else might feel when you wear that image on a shirt or display it so prominently on your pickup truck. They just told you it was a part of your heritage and you should be proud, just like they told me about the American flag in elementary school.

Our written history is full of lies. Have you ever considered the idea that you may have been lied to or misinformed as a child? Probably not, but guess what….It doesn’t even matter. You know what it means to you and that’s all that should matter. I can respect that. I just ask that you show me the same respect when I don’t stop to salute your symbol.

Give me the same respect when I fail to shed a tear when someone goes on TV and burns your symbol.

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think I should have to be. I simply don’t care about symbols and I reject the notion that I should feel any certain way about any symbol.

For what it’s worth, I felt the same way a few years back when there were debates all over the country about whether or not some people should be allowed to build a mosque at ground zero. I felt the same way about the debate over the word “nigger” which some see as a word of hatred while others view it as a term of endearment.

Want know what I think? I think someone taught you what the word meant and then went as far as to teach you how you should feel about it and how you should react when it is used in your presence. Trying to teach me how and when to be outraged over a meaningless symbol gives me a handicap.

Why not just cut off my leg? Why try to convince me that something is wrong with me just because I don’t give power and meaning to symbol gestures and subjective words or phrases?

Another brilliant comic, Doug Stanhope once said..

“Tradition and heritage is just dead people’s baggage. Quit carrying it.”

I agree. Especially because now there are stories in the news about the cause of the Civil war. People are arguing over whether or not the Civil war was fought over slavery A HUNDRED AND FIFTY FUCKING YEARS AGO!!!!

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To show how askew our belief structures really are, here is a black man standing on a street corner in Black Mountain, NC. It was 7:30 a.m. in the morning and he felt the need to exercise his liberty to wave the Confederate flag. - This is America!

Last year I was filming a music video for a Country Music singer. She had these promo books that had pictures of her on the cover and images of the confederate flag in the background.

flag, I understand that, in this society, we are sometimes going to feel offended, but nowhere in the Bill of Rights does it state that we have the right to not be offended.

A guy I know, a white Southerner, pointed to the flag and asked me, “Are you offended by that?” “Not at all,” I responded. He said, “Good, because if you were, I was gonna tell you why you shouldn’t be.” Perhaps it had never occurred to him that I am a rational, free-thinking individual who is fully capable of forming my own opinion without the aid of empty rhetoric and slogans designed to manipulate me and alter my perceptions.

I say you can all keep your symbols and whatever meaning you have attached to them. It’s what people do. I won’t be offended if a thousand Confederate flags grace the front of a thousand court houses across the country and the reason is simple..

Don’t regurgitate the same rhetoric that was crammed down your throat in an attempt to alter my perception and beliefs. Even if I was offended by a RIDGE JOURNAL

The flag can’t put hatred in anyone’s heart. The parents are responsible for that. Our loved ones teach us to hate. It’s in our community, our neighborhood.

It’s the people. In any nation that wants to call itself “free,” you should have the right to fly whatever flag you want and I should have the right to laugh and criticize you for being so “symbol-minded.”

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This is Phillip Chaffin, and his mother Barbara. The following letters are excerpts from his journal.

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Well I finally did it, and I am in no way proud. It was far less pleasurable than I ever expected, but I guess it did have it’s moments. I really don’t even know why I did it in the first place. I am such a fucking idiot, but I asked for drugs and I’ll be damned if God didn’t hand me the supposed almighty of the almighty.

So that’s it. Experimentation is over, there’s nothing left.

I just really hate the position I am in about everything.

I mean the way that I’m treated around here like I’m a fucking guinea pig or I’m the “bad kid” or something.

I’ve decided to work on becoming sober. I need to actually work at it because that’s the only way it’s ever going to happen. There are so many distractions. And it’s so much easier to accomplish them then seeking out the true equation of life. It’s like you don’t even have to work anything out. You just have the answer. Or what you think is the answer. You may think you need drugs, but life will go on without them.

I wish to make a list of everything someone might need to break the cycle of using again.

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All these feelings I am having...

I can’t tell if they are because I am aggravated over my situation in life, or if things are really happening to me. My guess is that it’s a combination of both. My one and only wish is to stop doing drugs and find a lady, because that’s really the best thing that could ever happen to me. I would be clean and I would have what I’ve been trying to forget about... LOVE. That’s the whole reason I’ve been doing drugs all along. I haven’t found the secret of life.. LOVE. I think that’s what it is, it has to be. And for that you need patience. In time, love can find you.

Drugs are fake, they are a false feeling of security and greatness.

On the other hand, love is not. Love is the most true, right and natural thing on the planet. It’s why we are here. We are suppose to fall in love, get married and have kids; It’s the equation of life.

It’s only when you can’t even start the equation, you start to get side tracked. This distraction is everything else. Mainly drugs, but other things as well. All sins, these are the distractions that seem like a good idea, but they often have no meaning, no purpose, nothing. They are merely petty distractions from the ultimate equation. And that is to Love.

Never forget this, as hard as it may seem sometimes, nothing is impossible. Everything is possible with time.

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NEWPORT NEWS - Phillip Douglas Chaffin died unexpectedly on January 20th, 2017.

He was born on June 29, 1987 and lived in Newport News. He graduated from Menchville High School and Radford University.

Phillip was loved by so many - his smile, his laugh, and his fearless sweet spirit. He loved music and riding BMX. Phillip is survived by his parents, Millard (Phil) Chaffin and Barbara Chaffin, his brother, David Chaffin, his maternal grandmother, Mary Scull, numerous Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. He is also survived by AnneMarie Sewell, she was the love of his life.

The family will received friends on Friday, January 27th, at Peninsula Funeral Home in Newport News, Virginia. A memorial service was held at Ivy Memorial Baptist Church in Hampton on Saturday, January 28th.

In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to Youth Challenge. https://youthchallengehope.org info@youthchallengehope.org (757) 244-1234 Published in Daily Press on Jan. 25, 2017.

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The Faulty Logic Of The War On Drugs Written by Sam Snodgrass PhD.

This epidemic of opioid addiction and death that we are living in is not the result of the use of opioids per se, but by society’s response to this use.

What the “War on Drugs” has accomplished has been to turn what is a chronic but treatable, manageable, disease into an epidemic of addiction and death.

The tactics used to “win” this war are those based on the belief that if the supply can be cut off, if enough drugs are interdicted, if those who sell them are incarcerated, then this will drive the price of these opioids to the point that we will stop using them. This is the basic economics of demand. As the price of a commodity increases, demand for

that commodity decreases. But there is a flaw in this reasoning. There is more than one type of economic demand.

The prohibitionist belief is based on what is called elastic demand. With this type of demand relationship, as the price increases there is some proportional decrease in the consumption of the commodity.

Just as an example, let’s say the price of peanut butter increases. The amount of peanut butter consumed would fall in some proportional relationship to the increase in price. The demand is elastic. The goal of the supply side demand reduction efforts is to drive the price of opioids so high that we will no longer buy them or at least reduce greatly the amount we buy.

Those who attempt to reduce the supply of opioids are not considering that there is a different type of demand. This demand is inelastic demand. With in-

“There are many explanations for drug Addiction”

elastic demand as the price increases the amount of the commodity consumed remains relatively stable.

Just as a hypothetical, let’s say that there is a famine and this causes the price of food to increase. No matter how high the price, the proportional decrease in food consumed will be mitigated by the fact that we have to have food to live. We will sacrifice all other commodities to continue to buy food.

We don’t do them because we “choose” to do them.

Survival is not a choice. It is inelastic.

People say that we are powerless over our addiction.

But that is a lie. We are not powerless but we appear to be because the prohibitionist laws of this country rob us of our power. This is evidenced by the fact that if we are allowed access to syringe exchanges we will use them and avoid contracting and spreading HIV and HepC. If given access to naloxone we will save our friends and they will save us. If we had access to Safe-Injection Facilities, we would use them and not die. If we had access to effective treatments such as methadone and buprenorphine on demand, without the monetary and restrictive polices now in place, we would use them and if they didn’t work for us, if we had the option of heroin or hydromorphone treatment we would use those. And stay well and alive. If given the opportunity we will make decisions that improve our health and allow us to function as productive members of this society.

But the prohibitionist policies of this country rob us of that power.

“Stop incarcerating us, stop stigmatizing us, and give us the power that has been taken from us by these prohibition laws.”

The supply side prohibitionists believe that if they can produce a severe increase in price that it will drive demand down because we will “choose” not to buy such a high priced commodity. And they will have won the war on drugs. But the logic of supply side tactics is based on the archaic belief that opioid addiction is a moral failing, that it is caused by a lack of willpower, and that if we really wanted to, if we really needed to, we could stop. And they believe they can force us to do so. But they have used these tactics since this war was declared and what we have is not a decrease in use but an epidemic of opioid addiction and death.

With any other chronic illness in this country our society works to provide services that mitigate the harms of the illness and, thus, allow the person to function in our society. If someone has diabetes we give them new syringes, insulin, glucometers; if someone has COPD we give them medications, oxygen, pulmonary therapy; if a person suffers with Parkinson’s or Multiple Sclerosis we provide them with medications, physical therapy, motorized wheel chairs, and so on. Now, if we removed these services, would they not be powerless over their dis-

The prohibitionists are ignoring the science. And the science is clear. The intake of these opioids over months and years alter the structure of the brain at a cellular, molecular level, and these alterations make these opioids more important for our survival than food. We starve for them. We will sacrifice all other commodities so that we can end that starvation. And this is why we do the things we do in our addiction.

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ease? Give us the chance. Give us the opportunity to make decisions that mitigate the harms of our illness for us and for society and we will make these decisions. But we have to have the opportunity to do so.

Stop incarcerating us, stop stigmatizing us, and give us the power that has been taken from us by these prohibition laws; provide us with the services that we accord to others that are living with a chronic disease and the myth of powerlessness will be seen as just that. A myth.

gate the harms that occur not because of the illness, but because of society’s response to it, then we can stop this epidemic. And by doing so we could save so many lives. We could save so many families from the devastating pain of losing the one they love. But to do so, we have to view opioid addiction not as a crime but, rather, as what it is: a disease of brain structure and function.

This is a chronic disease but, as with other chronic diseases, it is a treatable and manageable one. If our society will understand that the major harms come not from the disease itself, but from the laws that criminalize it, then we can begin to make the changes necessary to bring this epidemic under control.

The AIDS epidemic was brought under control through science, treatment, and activism. We can do the same with this opioid epidemic. If society will recognize that we are suffering from an illness and instead of trying to eliminate this illness through incarceration and stigmatization and work to miti-

The way to win this war is to stop waging it.

Sam Snodgrass, PhD. works as an addiction specialist.

Sam has also experienced the effects of opioid addiction in his personal life.

For many years he struggled with this disorder. During this time he experienced, first hand, the damage that the stigma and the criminalization of opioid use and addiction produces, not only on those who suffer from this disorder, but on their families and loved ones.

Email Sam at: samphd87@gmail.com

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RESEARCH

BROKEN NO MORE Working Together for Change

To provide support and guidance to those who have lost a loved one due to substance use, to advance the treatment of, and eventual cures for addiction / substance use disorder in a meaningful and useful way and to effect positive policy changes in the current failed war on drugs.

http://broken-no-more.org / 714.865.7879 __________________________________________________________________________________________

GRASP

Grief Recovery after substance passing Grief Recovery After Substance Passing (GRASP) was created to offer understanding, compassion, and support for those who have lost someone they love through addiction and overdose.

administrator@grasphelp.org / 302.492.7717 _________________________________________________________________________________________

MAPS / Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies

Founded in 1986, the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit research and educational organization that develops medical, legal, and cultural contexts for people to benefit from the careful uses of psychedelics and marijuana.

www.maps.org / 831.429.MDMA (6362) MY UNSPOKEN TRUTH

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Chester Bennington 1976 - 2017

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PRINCE 1956 - 2016

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More Heart Than Scars National alliance on Mental Illness

To help those with physical, mental or emotional scars realize they can live beyond them with More Heart Than Scars. For people with More Heart Than Scars & their loved ones. From trauma to disease, together we transcend our visible and invisible scars! https://moreheartthanscars.org/

National Institute On Drug abuse & Addiction

Ensuring the effective translation, implementation, and dissemination of scientific research findings to improve the prevention and treatment of substance use disorders and enhance public awareness of addiction as a brain disorder.

https://www.drugabuse.gov / 301.443.1124

SOS ...---...

OUTREACH

SOS OUTREACH

Inspiring Youth to Make Positive Decisions Grounded in outdoor experiences, the program ignites a passion for adventure, inspires the courage to try something new, and instills lifelong lessons and skills in our kids. http://sosoutreach.org / 970.926.9292

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NAMI

National alliance on Mental Illness NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness. http://www.naminc.org / 919.788.0801

NC Assistive Technology Raleigh, North Carolina

The North Carolina Assistive Technology Program (NCATP) is a state and federally funded program that provides assistive technology services statewide to people of all ages and abilities. We promote independence for people with disabilities through access to technology.

http://www.ncatp.org / 919.859.8360

SAMHSA

Substance Abuse / Mental Health Services SAMHSA is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that leads public health efforts to advance the behavioral health of the nation. Our mission is to reduce the impact of substance abuse and mental illness on America’s communities. https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov / 877.726.4727 MY UNSPOKEN TRUTH

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Anthony Bourdain 1956 - 2018

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