ION Arizona Magazine April 2011

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MARDI GRAS

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PHOENIX

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

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A

Phoenix Pride is Here!

pril means a lot of things to me: Warm weather, my 29th birthday, tax day, and Phoenix Pride Week. Yes, Week. When ION started, Phoenix Pride was a one day event.

Today, not only is the festival two days, but Pride has endorsed 10 days of events preceeding the weekend. While there are great events all week, there is one that we’re really excited about: The Kick-off Party!

interviews this month: Lynda Carter, our Celebrity Grand Marshal and the original Wonder Woman, Pandora Boxx from RuPaul’s Drag Race, and the Pride Sunday headlining band, Shiny Toy Guns. We also announce our 2011 Prismatic Pride Award winners, a complete guide to the festival and parade, and our fun and sexy photo feature.

Pride Kick-off Party

Last year, in anticipation for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, the ION float and booth had a “We Want You” military theme. This year, we look into the future to see our men and women serving proudly entitled “Future Pride.”

We’re helping the Phoenix Hellraisers promote the first ever Pride Kick-off Party. The “Gun Oil Pride Kick-Off Party 2011” is an all day pool party and happy hour at the host hotel, Radisson City Center, on Friday, April 15 from 2-8 p.m. With the help of Smirnoff, we were lucky enough to snag our favorite outrageous weblebrities Jessica and Hunter to host the event. With some begging and free vodka, we got them to march with ION in the Pride Parade. For more info, go to www.IONAZ.com.

Do Ask, Do Tell, Be Proud

What does pride mean to you?

How will you celebrate your freedom and your community? Hope to see you out enjoying the busiest month of the year! Use this issue as your guide. Don’t miss a thing!

Sincerely,

Our Best Issue of the Year While our staff strives to outdo themselves every month, it’s this April Pride issue that is our most diverse, informative and entertaining issue of the year. We have three great

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Jack M. Tesorero@me.com Publisher

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st. patrick’s day

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PHOENIX

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero - Ext. 5 ................. jacktesorero@me.com

ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop .................................................... (602) 301-8457 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown - Ext. 3 .................. ionazeditor@me.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero Ext 2 - ionazsales@me.com Photographers:

Daniel Cavanaugh Michael Fragale Fernando Hernandez

Miguel Munguia Jerry O’Conner Don Thompson

Cover Photo by Fernando Hernandez National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:

Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly Tom King

Ted Kirby Kim Ruff Joey Sarandos Paul Sanchez

Published monthly by

1995-2011: 16 Years of Design and Creative Excellence

© 2011 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

Pride Kick-off Party Come for Pride! Stay for the Cosmojitos! World famous weblebrities and WeHo gadabouts Jessica and Hunter arrive in all their fake Gucci glory to celebrate Phoenix Pride with a pool party, a Cruz Tequila Margarita Bar, a live DJ, games, contests and tix for the Smirnoff Bar Crawl. Free, but donations help support the Phoenix Hellraisers. Raddison City Center, 3600 N. 2nd Ave. at Osborn Rd. Friday, April 15, 2-8 p.m. See ad pp. 4-5

Phoenix Pride Okay, maybe you won’t see 76 trombones in the big parade, but you will see the fabled Dykes on Bikes, PFLAG and go-go boys in the Parade from Thomas Rd. to the Indian School Park. Then stay for the Festival and great entertainment, like Shiny Toy Guns! (Read interview on pp.

48-50) Check out pp. 84-89 for the Pride Guide.

Dining Out for Life Join thousands in the fight against HIV/AIDS, be social and put some food in your belly — all at the same time!

Participating restaurants, bars & businesses throughout the Valley donate a portion of their profits benefiting Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS. Make your reservations for Thursday, April 28. Visit Diningoutforlife.com to see who’s participating.

Keep your elbows off the table, please! See ad p. 63

Designer|District Runway Show Pretend like you’re Anna Wintour or Wilhelmina Slater at the Designer|District 2011 Spring/Summer Runway Show at Cityscape! Review their Men’s & Women’s collections with a cocktail party, live entertainment and special guests on Friday, April 29! Reply to RSPV@shopdesignerdistrict.com or find them on Facebook to stay notified. 1st Ave. & Washington. 602-795-4979. See ad on p. 2 20

www.IONAZ.com

April 2011

BETTY Come to the “Encore Party” at Alice Cooper’stown on Saturday, May 7, when the fabulous alternative rock band BETTY will be playing! It’s all part of a benefit for Missing Puzzle Piece and ribbonmosaic.org, helping supporting women who are battling cancer and need assistance with expenses. C’mon! Join in on the fun! Visit missingpuzzlepiece. com for tickets. 101 E. Jackson St. Phoenix. See ad p. 55

APRIL 2011 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT & LOCATION CITY Mondays Peekaboo Cabaret - BS West Scottsdale Thursdays Inferno at Trinity Scottsdale 7 Toro’s Gong Karaoke - Roscoe’s Phoenix 8-10 Saguaro Cup - various locations Valleywide 9 Macy’s Biltmore Ultimate Style - A Fashion Event Phoenix 9 Just Dance - Apollo’s Phoenix 7 Queer on their Feet Comedy - Rainbow Cactus Phoenix 10 1n10 Dining with the Divas - Ticoz Phoenix 12 Dirty Disco - icepics videobar Phoenix 15 Pre-Pride Party - Radisson City Center Phoenix 16-17 Phoenix Pride - Indian School Park Phoenix 16-17 Pride Parties at Karamba Phoenix 16-17 Get Ripped Pride Weekeend - Bliss/REBAR Phoenix 16 Pride Porn Party - BS West Scottsdale 17 Cocktail Challenge - BS West Scottsdale 28 Dining Out for Life Valleywide 29 Designer|District Runway Show - Cityscape Phoenix 30 Superhero Party - BS West Scottsdale MAY 2011 7 Night for Life Gala - The Phoenician Phoenix 7 BETTY - Cooperstown Phoenix

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chili cook-off

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ROSCOE’S

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

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You’re a Wonder, Lynda Carter

by Brown 26 Deon www.IONAZ.com

April 2011

Photo by Karl Simone

Phoenix Pride Parade’s Celebrity Grand Marshal Discusses Justice and more.

F

ar from Paradise Island where the mythical superhero Wonder Woman was born, Linda Jean Cordóva Carter was born in 1951 in Phoenix, Arizona. Lynda attended Arcadia High School and went on to win the crown of Miss World USA 1972. In an amazing true life Hollywood success story, Lynda was down to her last few dollars and about to throw in the towel when she was cast as the crime fighting All-American heroine in The New Adventures of Wonder Woman (1975-79). Her sizzling sexpot poster rivaled Farrah Fawcett’s iconic poster in 1978. Lynda is a true life superhero, surviving a battle with alcoholism. She’s a deeply caring mother of two children, a champion of Civil Rights for all Americans and a talented singer. Lynda is thoughtful, fair, warm, gracious, intelligent, informed and incredibly kind.

Lynda Carter may not have Wonder Woman’s indestructible Amazonium bracelets. She doesn’t really need them.

ION: We’re looking forward to having you as our first Celebrity Grand Marshall in the Phoenix Gay Pride Parade.

Lynda Carter: I’m very happy to be a part of it. Somebody asked me why I was getting involved; I’ve always been pretty outspoken. But to be honest with you, it’s the first time I’ve been asked to do things. I think it’s the right time.

People like Rachel Maddow really do such a great service. So many of her programs are about Civil Rights. I’m such a fan of hers. She’s so smart. She’s smart like Tim Russert was smart. She’s socially liberal, but she’ll rag on the Democrats just as easily. She’s very funny. I’m not her press agent, by the way.

ION: You will always be one of the really great beauties of entertainment, portraying 1940s pinup queen Rita Hayworth [Rita Hayworth: The Love Goddess, 1984]. Who do you think is beautiful today?

LC: I personally think Katy Perry is knockdown gorgeous. She’s so pretty. And I’ve been watching American Idol and I have to say Jennifer Lopez really has a classic beauty.

ION: You’ve performed with some of the biggest names in show business, and you’ve had a guest star spot on The Muppet Show. Who was sexier? Kermit the Frog, or Tom Jones?

LC: (Laughs) I really like green! I really don’t know. Miss Piggy was so jealous, I kinda had to back off. Tom, to be honest with you, is just a super nice guy. He wasn’t predatory at all, even though he played that thing up.

ION: After your famous poster (below) was released you said, “I never meant to be a sexual object for anyone but my husband. I hate men looking at me and thinking what they think. And I know what they think. They write and tell me.”

What do you

think of the poster today?

LC: Oh god! That is such a crock! It’s nothing that I would say! I don’t know where that came from. Oddly enough, it’s been brought up recently. My first husband [talent agent Ron Samuels - ed.] was very jealous; maybe it came out because he was standing there. It’s completely made up. I would never say something as stupid as that! If I did, I was being sarcastic. Yeah, I did sexy pictures. Yeah, I wore sexy things.

But I never played up the sex symbol thing.

If you’re looking at your image all the time it would be kind of ridiculous. I worry a lot more about what’s going on around me, what I’m doing to help people, or improve.

ION: You completed a rehabilitation program for alcoholism. What advice do you have for people facing addiction?

LC: I’ve been in recovery going on 14 years. It’s a complicated thing. You get to a

point where you’re drinking or taking drugs against your will. For me it was, anyway.

You feel like you’re in a big hole and can’t get out. To try to do it yourself is way hard and you need help. It’s kind of a recipe for failure. I’m on the board for Father Martin’s Ashley in Maryland. They saved my life. And my family’s, as well as my friend’s. They were helpless. There’s so much shame and you’re trying to hide it. There are thousands of rooms across the country. If you just go online and look up Alcoholics Anonymous you’d be surprised around the corner that there’s a meeting you can go to. I don’t think anyone should try the Charlie Sheen method of sobriety!

ION: You grew up here and come from a Mexican heritage on your mother’s side.

Wonder Woman came from Paradise Island, with no documentation. With that being said, what do you think of Arizona’s SB 1070?

LC: Wonder Woman was illegal! And she worked for the government! It’s a no-win situation. I have such an admiration for the matriarchal society: the hard working ethics, the family values that the Mexican people have. I do think that rules apply, but Draconian rules are ridiculous. This didn’t happen because some rancher was shot at or killed. This piece of legislation was in the pipeline and being crafted. It’s wellwritten — in a scary way. I’ve read it. It devalues what the Hispanic population is and who they are. I find it really disturbing. Nobody says anything about the six billion dollars that’s taken in Social Security that they’ll never get back.

ION: Your story is amazing. You were in California and out of money before you were discovered. That doesn’t happen anymore.

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LC: I think you’re right. I have to say that my life has not been boring. That’s part of the reason I’m talking to you. I’m always moving ahead.

As an actress you’re waiting around trying to get offered a part but you create a lot of what you do as a performer. It keeps me really busy. It takes the pressure off my children because I’m not hanging on every little thing. I’d stop on a dime if they needed me.

ION: Do you wonder why your portrayal Wonder Woman is such an icon to the Gay community?

LC: Yes, of course. I’ve said why quite often, actually. But it is about the ‘Secret Self.’ The archetype of the wonderful person inside of you that people don’t know about. It’s about being ‘all that.’ Being beyond a label. And I think that Gay and Lesbian people are labeled. Get a grip, people! The ultimate government takeover is about Civil Rights in the Bedroom! Whether it’s abortion issues,

marriage issues, or Gay/Lesbian issues, or gender bias. Get over it!

The other part of my passion about Gay and Lesbian Civil Rights: I hate bullies. These people that rail against it are bullies. It really sparks a part of me where my face gets hot ... just think of the ultimate Big Government telling you can marry, what children, when ... blah blah blah. It’s the ultimate Big Government.

ION: Think outside the box ... if you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

LC: I’d like to fly. But I can’t imagine anybody wanting a better superpower than a Lasso of Truth.

ION: If you could put the Lasso of Truth around anybody, who would it be?

LC: Well for starters, Dick Cheney!

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Rumsfeld and Cheney got us into the war. They knew what they were doing. Of course Rumsfeld in his new book denied it all. He blamed everybody but himself. Take the people that lie and cheat. Please! Right now it would be nice to have all the people from the nuclear sites to fess up. Don’t make us all guess what the infrastructure looks like in all of ours, and the rest of the world.

There’s nobody out there seeing how they’re built and what safeguards there are. And Japan’s the best! They probably had more safeguards than we do in their aging nuclear plants. Just go down the line who you’d like to get the truth from!

ION: What if the Lasso of Truth was

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around you? What would you say?

LC: I think I’m funnier than I am. I always think that I’m really funny but I’m not! So the truth is I’m not really funny, I just think I am. That’s kind of a self-deprecating truth. I know this, but I continue to say things that I think are really funny. I’ve got a little bit of a corny streak. It’s kind of goofy.

“All the world is waiting for you, and the power you possess.” See the real life Wonder Woman, Miss Lynda Carter, the Phoenix Pride Celebrity Grand Marshal in the Pride Parade on Saturday, April 16. The parade steps off at 11 a.m. on 3rd Street at Thomas Road, northbound leading to Steele Indian School Park.

Photos by Fernando Hernandez Text by Deon Brown

The best of the best.

The cream of the crop.

The head honchos and honchettes. Everybody helps make Phoenix a better place, but some stand head and shoulders above the rest. They set an example for everybody.

ION Arizona presents our third annual Prismatic Pride. We salute these individuals for everything they do. They make Phoenix proud!

Kado Stewart *The Rising Star*

1n10 OUTdoors Youth Leadership Conference is one of only a handful of GLBTQ-oriented youth camps with the most participating campers. Kado directs over 150 youth who interact in Team Building and Kado’s primal Drum Circle events. Kado capably represented 1n10 at the American Camp Association Conference.

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Pussy LeHOOT & KELA Calkins *SEXIEST BARTENDERS*

Pussy LeHoot from Charlie’s and Kela Calkins from Kobalt are the winners of the Sexiest Bartenders contest.

These two gin slingers raised top dollar for Faith’s Animal Rescue during Apollo’s Bar with Benefits Weekend in March.

With the help of nine other dedicated — and very sexy — contestants, the Apollo’s staff. Lee Revelle, Ron Linblad, and you, they raised $31,706 that will make our pet friends’ lives better.

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< JAmie & LLOYD HENDERSON-MAYS

*COMMUNITY LEADERS*

One, two, three, four! For the past five years Jamie and Lloyd have volunteered to coordinate the Phoenix Pride Parade.

They’ve been marching together for 27 amazing years. That’s team spirit!

PINK 4 A PURPOSE

*COmmunity Awareness* BS West is the home for Pink 4 A Purpose, a not-for-profit fundraising event held each fall to raise money for breast cancer research and awareness. Founders are (pictured left to right) Tim Johnson, Mike Fornelli, Kevin Tobin, along with Clark Rowley and Jackie Hill (not pictured).

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MARK HOWARD & ROCCO MENAGUALE *THE FUNDRAISERS*

Mark Howard and Rocco Menaguale are the smiling, handsome faces you see at all the top fundraising events.

They are the Honorary Chairs of this year’s Night for Life Gala benefiting the Southwest Center of HIV/ AIDS. We appreciate their involvement and support.

JOAQUiN MOTA *YOUTH OUTREACH*

Joaquin’s tireless energy is responsible for placing information at establishments visited by Valley youth, including safer sex supplies and hotline information as well as creating other youth outreach events for our “gaybies.” He’s also co-captain of 1n10’s softball team the Commandos.

We ask you: Who could resist smile like that?

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TED KIRBY

*MOST VALUABLE VOLUNTEER*

For 20 years Ted Kirby has volunteered at GLBT events across America. He’s donated his time to the Phoenix Pride Festival, Pageant, and Awards events; Tucson and Flagstaff Prides, the OutFar and Scottsdale International Film Festivals, as well as GLBT events with ION Arizona, Icehouse, AREA Phoenix and Stratus. Ted’s conviction about a creating memorable experience for everyone is truly a rewarding experience!

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Freddy PrinZE CHARMING & OLIVIA GARDENS *MISTER & MISS PHOENIX GAY PRIDE*

This year’s talented winners of Mister and Miss Phoenix Gay Pride are Pride Powerhouses. They’ll be representing our community and raising scholarship funds for our local GLBTQ youth seeking higher education.

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MITCH MITCHELL

*MR. PHOENIX LEATHER 2011* Crack that whip! Excuse me, the “flog.” Mitch Mitchell carries the title of Mr. Phoenix Leather 2011 representing our city’s leather community.

If anybody can cultivate your innermost secret leather wishes and desires, it’s Mitch. Sir.

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Stevie Nicks “Give to me your leather, take from me my lace ...”

Hometown girl and everybody’s favorite white winged dove, Stevie Nicks, coos her many fabled hits to her huge, dedicated fans on Friday, April 15 at the US Airways Center, 201 E. Jefferson St. Tix available at ticketmaster.com or call 800-745-3000. Oh. And a guy named Rod Stewart will perform, too. BYOT. Bring your own tambourine.

The Elvis Tribute In the mood for a fried banana and peanut butter sandwich with a side of Nembutal? This dazzling tribute to The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll features Kraig Parker, who has the looks, voice, and moves of Elvis Presley. Drag your Priscilla down to the Jungle Room at Phoenix Symphony Hall on April 29 & 30 at 8 p.m. for a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on. One N. First. St. For tix go to phoenixsymphony.org or call 602-253-1772

B-52s C’mon, Mammy! Throw me that whammy! Those crazy party music monsters The B52s are still at it! Grab some change for the slots and come to their Love Shack at the Wild Horse Pass Casino at 5040 Wild Horse Pass Blvd (near Rawhide) in Chandler. For tix call 877-840-0457 or vist wingilariver.com. Fred Schneider groupies can usually find him at Amsterdam after a show. Hint, hint.

APRIL 2011 ION Concert Calendar DATE 2 8-10 8 8 14 15 19 29-30 30

ARTIST LOCATION Pat Benatar Celebrity Theatre Abduction from the Seraglio Symphony Hall Soulja Boy Celebrity Theatre Janet Jackson Comerica Theatre Foreigner Wild Horse Pass Casino Rod Stewart & Stevie Nicks US Airways Center Lil Wayne US Airways Center Phx Symphony: Elvis Tribute Symphony Hall B-52s Wild Horse Pass Casino

MAY 1 1 5 7

Loretta Lynn Kenny Chesney Los Lobos BETTY

PHONE 602-266-7464 602-267-1600 602-379-2888 877-840-0457 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 602-253-1772 877-840-0457

Celebrity Theatre 602-267-1600 Jobing.com Arena 800-745-3000 Talking Stick Resort 480-850-7777 Alice Cooper’s Town missingpuzzlepiece.com April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 39

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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? In addition to these, check out new albums from The Human League, Los Lonely Boys, Tiesto, Pricilla - The Broadway Recordning, Foo Fighters, Jessie J, Elbow, The Gorillaz, KD Lang and Mana.

Britney Spears – Femme Fatale

Many are asking, “Does she still have it?” And after listening to this album, it’s clear she does. Though many will criticize her snippets and leaks as a sign of weakness, they actually built anticipation which will undoubtedly sell this record. Femme is definitely her most edgy and technofied album to date. Think of this as Blackout on steroids with a hint of Future Sex L.S.’s and the Black Eyed Peas The Beginning. Overall she captures the essence of relevant hooks in music and delivers an album full of energy.

And for you real fans, get the deluxe version for it contains four bonus singles. Track of choice here is “How I Roll” while “Criminal” and “Big Fat Bass” all shine. GRADE: B+

Radiohead – King of Limbs

Radiohead finally offers fans a physical release after a downloadable only option last month. And to much surprise, there was little warning to its release and availability. As expected, Radiohead continues its trend of breaking the mold with each album and offers a big departure from their last brilliant record In Rainbows. Though King of Limbs sounds much more experimental and less melodic, it begins to grow and take form to the audible senses after a few listens. It’s moody, dark, melancholy, and somewhat chaotic at times, but very Radiohead. Arguably, “Lotus Flower”

is the standout track here, but also check out “Separator” and “Morning Mr. Magpie” GRADE: B-

J-Lo – Love?

American Idol couldn’t have happened at a better time for J-Lo’s career.

After parting ways with Sony, Def Jam picks up the scraps to find gold.

This album has been in production since 2009 and now takes solid form under the direction of RedOne. It also gets help from the likes of The Neptunes, Danja, Darkchild, Tricky and others. Overall, it’s an ode to dance and hip-hop as most heard with “On The Floor.” More importantly, this album breathes new life in to Ms. Lopez’ career and delivers her best record in years. Shoutout to “What is Love” as well as “This Cannot be Love,” “Everybody’s Girl” and “Keeper.”

GRADE: B

Kimberly Caldwell

Without Regrets

For something different but not too off the beaten track, check out this castoff from American Idol’s second season. Part Katy Perry, Pink!, Melissa Etheridge and Kelly Clarkson, Kimberly rocks with her debut and proves that the losers of A.I. are often the real winners.

Though it has taken Capitol and Vanguard nearly a year to release the final product, collaborators and songwriters including Kara DioGuardi and Chad Kroeger are hoping for a break. It really is quite good, current and toe-tapping. Check out “Going Going Gone” as well as “Desperate Girls,” “Naked” and “Hotter Without You” GRADE: B April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 41

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Judy: the Musical The story behind the story of MGM’s little girl with the big voice who lost her way on the Yellow Brick Road. The pills. The booze. The Gay husbands. It all defined Judy Garland and turned her into one of the great entertainers of the 20th century. This features an original score and Garland classics. Wonder if it ends with her dead on a toilet? Find out at the Tempe Center for the Arts, 700 W. Rio Salado Pkwy in Tempe, April 19-24. Info & tix: 480-350-2822

David Sedaris Forget Rudolf, Frosty and the Grinch. Open, out and curmudgeonly humorist David Sedaris, author of modern Christmas Classic “The Santaland Diaries” and a regular on National Public Radio, comes to ASU Gammage to read aloud from his insanely funny essays and short stories including Squirrel seeks Chipmunk. Friday, April 22. ASU Gammage. 1200 S. Forest Ave. in Tempe. For tix call 480-965-3434 or go to ASUgammage.com

Billy Elliott: the Musical No relation to Judy Garland. This “feel good” musical doesn’t end in a drug overdose. It’s a heartwarming tale of a small town English boy who stumbles out of a boxing ring and into ballet class, discovering his passion and inspiring his community. Sir Elton John wrote the score. See it at ASU Gammage, April 27May 8. 1200 S. Forest Ave. in Tempe. For tix call 480-965-3434 or go to ASUgammage.com

APRIL 2011 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 8-5/1 Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Scotts. Desert Stages 7 Queer on their Feet Comedy Rainbow Cactus thru 9 Octopus Stray Cat Theatre thru 10 Lost in Yonkers Herberger thru 10 PHX: fringe Downtown Phx 8-24 Man of La Mancha Mesa Arts Ctr. 13-5/8 Nine: the Musical Phoenix Theatre 14-5/14 Smoke on the Mountain B’wy Palm Dinner Theatre 14-30 Antony & Cleopatra Mesa Arts Ctr. 19-24 Judy: the Musical Tempe Center for the Arts 22 David Sedaris ASU Gammage 22-5/8 Circle Mirror Transformation Herberger 22-5/15 The Full Monty AZ B’way Theatre 27-5/8 Billy Elliott ASU Gammage thru 5/15 The Miracle Worker Scotts. Desert Stages

PHONE 480-483-1664 602-971-1086 480-820-8022 602-256-6995 PHXfringe.com 480-644-6500 602-254-2151 480-325-6700 480-644-6500 480-350-2822 480-965-3434 602-253-6701 623-776-8400 480-965-3434 480-483-1664

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Movie Previews Source Code

The Conspirator

Directed by Duncan Jones (Moon – an absolutely brilliant sci-fi flick that is a must-see for fans of the genre or solid acting), Source Code is an actionthriller filled with multiple twists and turns.

Jake Gyllenhaal (Love…and Other Drugs) plays Captain Colter Stevens, a decorated war hero, who learns he’s part of a secret government experiment called “Source Code” that allows him to literally walk in another man’s shoes during the last 8-minutes of his life. This ability becomes of the utmost important when he’s enlisted to pinpoint the identity of a bomber of a Chicago train in order to prevent another, larger attack.

Much in the way that Inception played with multiple layers of consciousness, Source Code shuttles from one person’s experience to another as Captain Stevens attempts to gather as many clues as possible, as soon as possible.

Michelle Monaghan (Eagle Eye) and Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air) co-star.

Release Date: 04/01/2011.

Directed by Robert Redford, The Conspirator is a period piece that takes place in the socio-political upheaval immediately following the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. Robin Wright Penn stars as Mary Surratt, a Confederate sympathizer and the accused collaborator with John Wilkes Booth. Surratt is falsely accused of orchestrating the assassination while Booth remains on the lam. Union war hero, Federick Aiken (McAvoy, Atonement) is charged with the difficult task of acting as her defense attorney – no easy feat as a mourning nation cries out for justice. A fascinating moment in American history, this is an often ignored narrative, and Redford’s film captures the emotional maelstrom inherent in it. Opens on the anniversary of Lincoln’s death. Release Date: 04/15/2011.

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright

Starring: Robin Wright Penn, James McAvoy, Tom Wilkinson, Evan Rachel Wood, Kevin Kline

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Review Behind the Burly Q

Starring: Alan Alda, Lorraine Lee, Tempest Storm, Blaze Starr, Kitty West, et al.

Written and directed by Leslie Zemeckis, Behind the Burly Q is a documentary film about the golden age of Burlesque. A derivative of Vaudeville, early burlesque shows were a theatrical production that usually featured several acts built around a comedic duo. A little racy, a little sassy, and always entertaining, it was cheap thrills for a countryside overwhelmed by economic depression. In Leslie Zemeckis’ well-researched documentary, Behind the Burly Q, she gets the low-down on the downand-dirty on-stage — and off-stage — antics of some of the infamous ladies of burlesque.

Cat fights, rivalry, and tempestuous love affairs with good looking heads of state were part of the scene, but only a very small portion, as it turns out. Mostly, it was just young women, seeking refuge from the hardships of their lives, looking for a way to cash in on their good looks. A nod to drag queens of the day who “passed” in the girlie shows is noted. While the film has a tendency to play like a long preview (the pacing is fairly quick and it shuttles from one idea to another without any breaks), it is a rich, incredibly enjoyable documentary and well worth a view at www.behindtheburlyq.com

in Love…and Other Drugs. Gyllenhaal plays Jamie, a highly talented, albeit somewhat misdirected salesman who starts working on the Ohio Green River Valley for Pfizer as a drug rep of Zoloft and Zithromax.

During one of his routine sales calls, he stumbled upon Maggie Murdock (Hathaway), a young, vibrant woman suffering from early onset Parkinson’s disease. Initially, their relationship is a casual no-strings-attached affair, but Maggie’s insistence on it remaining such and Jamie’s desire to win at all costs results in him falling in love with her.

Yet Maggie is concerned about saddling anyone with her illness and as Jamie’s career begins to take off when he starts selling Viagra, the difficulties inherent in having it all reach critical mass.

Though it’s an oft-told love story with a fairly typical dilemma — love or career? — the pairing of Hathaway and Gyllenhaal, who spend the majority of the movie thrashing about naked on the floor, makes it an enjoyable narrative. Never you mind the fact that Gyllenhaal’s derrière is like two scoops of mouth-watering ice cream. Who needs synthetic assistance when you’re looking at that?

Love…and Other Drugs

Starring: Anne Hathaway, Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Gad In their second film together since Brokeback Mountain, Hathaway and Gyllenhaal team up to play a charmingly dysfunctional couple April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 47

shiny toy guns Jeremy Dawson

illustration by Glen Hanson from STG’s video “Ghost Town”

by Kevin Bushaw

C

irca 2002, when MySpace.com was reaching it’s peak of popularity, the glossy, new, alternative band Shiny Toy Guns surfaced and, through the social networking site, slowly rose to fame. Their Grammy nominated 2005 album We Are Pilots with its three singles “Le Disko,” “You Are The One,” and “Rainy Monday” was danceable, fun, and thanks to their dual lead singers Carah Faye Charnow and Chad Petree — incredibly dynamic. Carah Faye went on hiatus from the band in 2008. Following their sophomore effort, Season of Poison and coming into their third, III, Carah Faye returned and Shiny Toy Guns reunited. ION Arizona shot off a few questions with STG co-founder Jeremy Dawson about their relationship with the GLBT community, the split, and their sexy music videos.

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ION: You said, “Together we will reach the eyes and ears of the world.” Are you social activists through your music?

Jeremy Dawson

JD: In a way. We never dabble in the political or anything that has a level of social controversy, but our fundamental root and our goal is through music and through ourselves as people to help and better people individually for who they actually are.

Mikey Martin

ION: Are you involved with the Gay community?

Daniel Johansson

JD: Glen came to us. Glen is the most amazing. If you ever met Glen you would just freak! You should have seen the outfit he wore at the premiere of that video.

Unbelievable. He put Gaga to shame! Glen does a lot of really big stuff for Disney. He’s an amazing artist! If you know anything about animation like on a financial level, it’s very expensive, and not really reachable. Glen came to us and was, like, “Here’s the deal: I’m obsessed, I love you guys, I know that you don’t have 300 or 400 thousand dollars. I wanna do the video.

I’ll do it for this much if you’ll leave me alone. I will interpret the video, and I’ll animate the video, and no, it may not be what the songs about, but let me be the artist.” And we were, like, “Go!”

JD: We’ve done so many Prides all over the United States. We’re regulars at Carah Faye Charnow the great, mighty S.F..[San Francisco Pride] We’re talking a hundred thousand plus in the streets. And it sort of came about — I’m not sure what ION: How did you feel about the primary trigger was — the it afterwards? main thing was that we just sort of are omnisexual with JD: Well you haven’t seen the our music and our band. adult version of it! It was so Chad Petree crazy because he just took it ION: Was the trigger to another place. It was a lot of fun. highlighting the very androgynous young boy in your first breakthrough music ION: After a split with vocalist Carah video, “Le Disko”?

Faye Charnow, you’ve reunited along with her -- and her husband Daniel JD: [The style] was so androgynous that Johanssen, who are the founding it was actually a girl. (Laughs) That was members of the Swedish band, Versant. the whole point of “Le Disko” — it was Are you merging? empowerment — we love to blur the lines.

We have a girl lead singer, and we have JD: Not in the exact sense of that, but we’ve a boy lead singer, they’re singing to each always had a physical problem of that in the other and they sing separate. Everything is studio we love to layer and layer and layer, this big full circle of music and creativity. It’s we’re not the kind of stripped down band really hard to pull it off. Some people don’t like where you would see like a Green Day know we even have a guy lead singer and or something where it’s just “Go, big guitar! some people don’t know we have a girl lead Go!” We love to layer soundscapes and all singer. these beautiful things that when it’s time to play a show, I’m just not an octopus.

ION: “Ghost Town” was directed by openly Gay illustrator Glen Hanson, (of We work really hard and we play really hard the comic strip Chelsea Boys fame). Did you choose him?

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 49

but it’s just a lot of things in our music that are on the album but you don’t hear that part that often in the [live] songs.

We’ve always wanted to have another player in wind of when we were in what we call, “The Great Healing,” when I went to Sweden with Mikey, my drummer, to sit down with Carah and just rebuild our friendship.

ION: How bad was the split?

JD: It was very devastating. We were touring 300 days a year for three or four years, nonstop. You have to communicate — especially with a band. We’ve got three dirty boys, and Carah, the pretty girl. There’s things that girl’s need that they have to have and sometimes they don’t ask for it. Carah’s a trooper, and she’s a tomboy, and she gets down and dirty and rough and tough; we all lived together in old crappy vans back then. Tensions began to rise. We weren’t going home and seeing our families and we began to argue over the stupidest things.

You wouldn’t believe the trauma that would happen if somebody ate my sandwich.

Instead of dealing with that and instead of taking a break, we just trudged on and pretty soon we just stopped talking.

ION: Carah has said while she likes STG’s “Second Album Season of Poison” although it’s definitely not her. Will you continue to perform songs that featured replacement vocalist Sisely Treasure?

JD: We haven’t decided what songs, but as everything’s moving forward I’m leaving that up to Carah. We haven’t physically got down and dirty in the rehearsal hall with that yet. I know Carah’s been working on “Ricochet” a lot, but it’s not going to sound like Sisely. It’s still Shiny Toy Guns, but Sisely is one style of singer, and Carah is very different.

ION: When you first started out as a band, it was rumored that Paris Hilton’s selftitled album actually featured Carah’s voice -- not Paris’s. This wasn’t true, but how did you react?

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JD: It was hilarious how that worked! We were doing radio interviews with giant radio stations in Brazil about that. It went to TRL, it went to TMZ, and at first we laughed at it, and then our publicity department at our label said, “You have got to run with this.”

We thought it was funny but then we started doing these hilarious interviews with FOX and E! Entertainment. We did that for a split second then we got really freaked out by it because for the first time in our careers we were doing interviews with people who we could tell didn’t give a flying crap about the band. In the end, we thought it wasn’t going to hurt anything to use this hilarious situation to get a nice, big interview that’s going to introduce more people to our music.

ION: Your third album Ill is coming out soon! Can we expect to hear any of your new material at the Phoenix Gay Pride Festival?

JD: You will hear many new songs. The Phoenix Pride Festival is our guinea pig for testing a lot of the new album that nobody — not even our parents — have heard. See what works, test the crowd reaction, we’re going to be extremely focused on what happens with these songs.

ION: I’m gonna warn you, we’re a pretty critical audience.

JD: Good! Bring it to the table! We’re also very confident so I’m really not worried about it. The songs that we’re going to play that are new are the really uptempo fun ones, so it’s going to be a party atmosphere for sure. It’s gonna be basically several brand new pieces, and all the classic stuff.

ION: Finally, what kind of shiny toy gun are you?

JD: Mine would be the 80 mm Howitzer. I’m a long range attack.

“All the Girls Le Disko!” And all the boys, too! Shiny Toy Guns are performing at the Phoenix Pride Festival Main Stage on Sunday April 17, 8 p.m.

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 51

pandora boxx T

he ancient Greek myth about Pandora and her notorious box has been a lesson to everyone. After unleashing a plethora of aches and pains on the world she left us with a fabulous gift: Hope.

RuPaul’s Drag Race gave us Pandora Boxx in season two and it’s been our hope ever since that she’d come to Phoenix. Rochester, New York resident Michael Steck, the real man behind the flaxen-haired mischievous miscreant, talked about his Boxx. Well, Pandora Boxx, that is.

Since “Pandora” means “all gifted” in Greek. What gifts does Pandora Boxx bring?

“She has a lot of STDs, so she gives them out frequently,” Michael said about his alter ego. “I think that Pandora has the ability to make people laugh and forget about their troubles for a little bit and have a good time.”

Before being cast for RuPaul’s blockbuster reality show, Steck considered quitting drag and leaving Pandora in a box forever.

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“I didn’t get on season one and I was kind of upset; I felt like it was something I was really supposed to do. That year I said if something didn’t change in drag I was going to quit. I guess that was the Universe’s way of saying ‘keep your panties on.’”

Viewers were shocked when fan favorite Boxx sashayed away. “As frustrating as it was then, it was an amazing experience. I got to work with RuPaul and he was everything I hoped he would be.

“Just being on the show itself was cool. It took a little bit of adjustment because of the cameras; there’s nothing natural about any of it — living in this little fishbowl. They take away your cell phone, there’s no computer. You can’t talk to anybody. You can’t leave the hotel. You live in this bubble for about a month. Every day you’re standing in heels for eight hours — at least — just waiting . Each judge is saying something about every

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 53

single person. I kept saying, ‘I just wanna be safe. I don’t want to hear the critique, I just wanna be safe,’ he remembered about the long days of taping.

Always the comedy coquette, Pandora’s hysterical impression of Carol Channing (“Raspberries!”) leaves everybody wondering if the Broadway legend has seen it.

“I don’t know, actually. She’s 90, I don’t know if she’d remember it if she saw it. There was a big gala planned for her at the Out Music Awards and they asked me to do my Carol Channing in front of Carol Channing but she got sick so it was all canceled.”

Even glam Aussie songbird Kylie Minogue raved about Pandora on LOGO. “She said in an interview that I rocked her world — it doesn’t get me

backstage tickets to her concert in New York — but at least she said something about me,” Michael laughed. “And I love Lady Gaga. I didn’t think I could love her more than I do when she released ‘Born This Way.’ It’s just amazing that there’s a song on mainstream radio that’s so positive and sends a great message to young GLBT kids.”

Fans can expect to hear about Pandora Boxx walking down the aisle. Wedding bells are ringing for Michael Steck and his handsome beau of five years, Ian Dinse, who proposed to him in December.

“We haven’t set any kind of date. We’re moving to the West Coast so we’re focusing on that for right now. He asked me on Christmas morning, so it was really sweet.

I wasn’t expecting it. Ian gave me the ring and I started to cry. It was at my sister’s on an air mattress, so it was really romantic,” he laughed. “Later he asked if I was going to change my Facebook status. I thought that was very modern.”

Pandora Boxx received a lot of fan email and Facebook urging to perform in Phoenix and looks forward to appearing at The Rock.

“It’ll be a wild and crazy night. Two nights, actually. My own show the first night and I’m part of the show the next night. I’m looking forward to that. It’s always great to do drag shows with other people and see what the drag community is like there. I gasped!

‘There’s another Pandora. What?”

Two Pandoras. One Boxx. Coming to YouTube soon.

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See Pandora Boxx perform at The Rock on Thursday, April 14 with a VIP Meet ‘n’ Greet at 8 p.m. and again on Friday, April 15 where she will appear with our own Pandora DeStrange in Genderfuct! with the Arizona Gender Outlaws. VIP tickets are available in advance for only $20 at therockdmphoenix.com/contact. The Rock: 4129 N. 7th St. 602-248-8559

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 55

PHOENIX PRIDE PRESEN T S

Miss & Mister Phoenix

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ORPHEUM T HE AT ER

Barbra’s Drag Race Pick the BITCH! Barbra Seville is on the prowl to see who has the who has the Beauty, Intelligence, Talent, Charm and Humor. Only one can be the next Greater Metropolitan Phoenix Area’s drag superstar. Will it be Eva LaDeva?

Katrina Star? Facade? Patricia Mason? Carnita Asada?

Carlita Jackson? Or Savannah Stevens? Find out who chantay-you-stays and who sashays away every Wednesday night only at Karamba Nightclub! 1724 E. McDowell Rd. 602254-0231 and “LIKE” The Barbra on Facebook for more info.

APRIL 2011 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE

TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S)

Sun 3 Sun 3 Fri 8 Sun 10 Sun 10 & 17 Thurs 14 Fri 15 Sun 17 Wed 20 Fri 22 Sun 24 Sun 24

8:00pm 7:00pm 10:00pm 8:00pm 7:00pm 8:00pm 9pm 8:00pm 10:30pm 10pm 8pm 1:00pm

Apollo’s The Rock The Rock Apollo’s The Rock The Rock The Rock Apollo’s Cruisin’ 7th The Rock Apollo’s The Rock

Afeelya Bunz & Friends Showgirlz!

Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens Tequila Nights with Tyra Marie SNATCH Strikes Back Pandora Boxx Genderfuct & Pandora Boxx Cougar Cabaret Big Boooty Judy’s Birthday Party Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens Barbra Seville’s That Time of The Month Barbra Seville’s Easter Brunch Show

Select Fridays Mondays Mondays Tuesdays Wednesdays Wednesdays Thursdays Third Thursdays Fridays Fridays Saturdays Saturdays Saturdays Saturdays Sundays Sundays Select Sundays

10:00pm 8:30 9:00pm 10:30pm 10:30pm 10:00pm 10:30pm 10:00 10:30pm 9:00pm 10:30p 10:00pm 10:00pm 9:30pm 8:30pm 10:30pm 7:00pm

Cherry Bar BS West Apollo’s Karamba Cruisin’ 7th Charlie’s Karamba Trinity Cruisin’ 7th BS West Cruisin’ 7th The Rock icepics Charlie’s Charlie’s Karamba The Rock

Lady Christian’s Trailer Trash Revue Peekaboo Cabaret RuPaul’s Drag Race Viewing Party w/ Eryka and Lesbian Savannah Moussier Steppin’ Out with Judy & TC Claudia B. & Company Ruby Reynolds Inferno with Ruby Reynolds Devina’s TGIF Elements - followed by Mandy BoomBoom’s Boys!

Host Mia Adams The Barbra Seville Show The Chane Jordan Show Pussy’s Patio Show Pussy LeHoot & Friends Diamond’s Show Showgirlz

To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 57

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CHANDLER, ARIZONA

I

Luscious Lush Lounge

t’s easy for us to stay put, basking in the bright lights of the big city. And sometimes it’s easy for us to stick around here in Phoenix, too. (Insert rim shot here.)

menu of burgers and chicken fingers.

Note: Nothing here is from food service distributors. All the salad dressings but one is made in house. So is the soup.

All the meats are cut by hand on site.

Every once in a while we feel like it’s necessary to broaden our horizons and lengthen our vistas. It’s a big world out there. So in an effort to explore the nether regions and greater territory of the Valley of the Sun, we harnessed up the ol’ horse and buggy to venture off to the fair city of Chandler. Nestled in a small plaza — okay, okay. It’s a strip mall — in the Land of Red Tile Roofs and Stucco you’ll find the popular Lush Lounge, filling an important space for our East Side friends and readers.

The appetizers include 13 choices.

Favorites are Mussels in a White Wine, Garlic and Shallot sauce. Come to think of it, Anthony’s muscles are a real favorite, too. Anyway. Try the Onion Rings. These rings are fresh, hand cut and battered. A huge basket is served with spicy ranch dressing for only $5.99. The Crab Cakes are fat, plump and moist at $8.99 for two. These are also available as an entrée served with red roasted

Sure, sure, everybody knows Lush’s luscious manager, Anthony Clarke, ION’s Sexiest Bartender cover model.

And what a handsome, young, charmer Anthony is. But in addition to Anthony, Lush also has an incredible lunch and dinner menu that you may not be aware of. And by “incredible” I mean, “really, truly amazing.”

The chef — not just a mere “cook,” — is Darren, who hails from Jolly Olde England, where he attended culinary school. No cracks here about English fare; what Darren serves is a big, flavorful, thoughtfully ambitious and successful menu. Not just a “bar food”

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 59

potatoes and fresh veggies for $13.99.

If you’re in the mood for a sandwich, you’ve got nine hot ones to choose from, a variety of chicken, burgers, a Garden Burger and a tender, juicy Steak Sandwich out of a 10 ounce ribeye, seasoned and grilled, topped with mushrooms, onion and cheese.

Lush has 14 entrées to choose from.

Don’t miss out on the Chipotle Pork Chops. The other white meat. Boneless, thick, juicy and oh-so-tender with a delicate but piquant chipotle glaze, served with red roasted potatoes and a

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fresh veggie for only $14.99.

Five creative salads are available if you’re made of stone and can resist the regular fare. But they make a great addition to your meal.

On Saturdays and Sundays from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. you can catch a fab brunch.

And maybe you can catch Anthony. God knows everybody else is trying to.

Lush Lounge

2050 N. Alma School Rd. at Warner Rd. Chandler, AZ 85224 Phone: 480-857-9444 LushAZ.com

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 61

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mr. dude

More

SCOTTSDALE

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

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Friday, April 15th 2pm-8pm

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sexiest bartender contest

More

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

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Photography by Fernando Hernandez | Art Direction by Joey Sarandos & Kevin Bushaw Wardrobe Styling by Joey Sarandos | Production Assitance by Tom King Art by Tom King & Kevin Bushaw | Wardrobe courtesy Designer District, Boom Boom LaRue’s, Antique ArtiZen Marketplace, 2(x)ist, Sports Authority, & Easley’s Fun Shop | The Orbit created by Patrick Bradley | Styling and Makeup provided by Par Exsalonce CityScape Salon & Spa 11 W. Washington St., Suite 240 Phoenix, AZ 85003 602.340.0332 Alfonso Gonzales, Owner / Editorial Stylist | Michael Parra, Hair Stylist Ash Yomontaño, Hair Stylist | Caroline Winkler, Make-up Artist

Android Pride Parade 3011 On Mitch and Geoffrey: Glasses by Armani, Gloves

by Altus, 2(x)ist Neon Squarecut Briefs, Boots from Boom Boom LaRue. On Jayd: Glasses by TODâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Swing Coat available at Designer District, Boots available at Antique ArtiZen Marketplace.

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 71

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5th Element of Surprise On Marc: Glasses by John Galliano, G-Star RAW Jeans available at Designer District, Boots from Boom Boom LaRue. On Mia Adams: Glasses by Swarovski, Coat available at Boom Boom LaRueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. On Mitch: Glasses

by John Galliano, G-Star RAW Jeans available at Designer District.

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 73

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Digital Orbit On Nuvia: Swimsuit available at Designer District, Boots available at Boom Boom LaRueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 75

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Is There Anybody OUT There?

On Mia Adams: Boots from Boom Boom LaRue On Marc: Gloves by Altus, Shirt from 2(x)ist Form Collection Crew Neck April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 77

FutureRail On Geoffrey: Glasses by John Galliano, Tank top & G-Star Jeans available at Designer District.

Boots from Boom Boom LaRueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.

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Defending Pride On Geoffrey: Glasses by John Galliano. G-Star Cargo Pants from Designer District. On Nuvia: Glasses

by Tom Ford, Jacket available at Designer District, Boots from Boom Boom LaRue’s. Shiny Toy Gun available at Easley’s Fun Shop

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 81

Vol. 4, Issue 11

APRIL 2011

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

Gay Social Secretary Throws Tea Dance at the OUTRAGEOUS! White House

Starting in June during National Gay Pride month, Sundays will feature Tea Dances on the White House Lawn under Andrew Jackson’s beloved magnolia.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The formal state rooms of the historic White House echo with the ghosts of the past. Grim, portly, mustachioed and elderly long dead presidents gaze at visitors from gilded frames while the government’s wheels churn deep in the West Wing.

But look for the President’s House and the famous Rose Garden to be a little bit livelier. since Barack Obama appointed the openly ANY GayRESEMBLANCE Jeremy Bernard, as the first male social secretary, gone are the fussy receptions, and Nancy Reagan’s fabled china won’t see another watercress sandwich for years.

“Listen, bitches, this is gonna be fierce,” said Bernard. “We’re serving low carb lettuce wraps along with Cape Cods and Mimosas from 4-9 p.m. Kimberly S. is spinning and we’re negotiating with Lady Gaga to sing.”

OUTRAGEOUS!

The Blue Room will

TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLYbeACCIDENTAL a “chill area” with purified water served from Dolley Madison’s silver service. Richard Nixon Port-a-Potties will be installed at Lafayette Park. The Queen’s Bedroom will be the VIP Room. Obviously.

OUTRAGEOUS! “Since ‘Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell’ has been repealed and the Defense of Marriage Act is on its way out, we’re gonna turn the White House inside out, girlfriend!” said Bernard.

Cover for each Tea Dance is $25 and is tax deductible.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

OUTRAGEOUS!

Grown Up Sues Aged Parents. Adulthood Not as Expected.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

CASPER, Wyo. — Your own house. Staying up as late as you want. Ice cream for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. Not making your bed if you don’t want to. Watching TV all night if you like.

Including the “dirty” channels. Your own phone.

No bathing every day.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

“It isn’t fair!” Perry sobbed as he stomped up the stairs to his room. “Everyone else has their own house and watches TV as much as they want! My mom and dad are monsters and I hate them! I hate them! I hate them for as long as I live!”

ANY RESEMBLANCE THE ISJr.,IS TRAGICALLY Perry, says his parents areACCIDENTAL cheaters and he wants These are the things every childTO anticipates asTRUTH heTRUTH ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL anticipates being a “grown up.” Everything a child promises to do.

But one grown up isn’t happy. And he’s suing his elderly parents for a dream not fulfilled.

Gary Perry, Jr., 56, is suing his parents, Gary senior and Ida Perry, 82 and 80, respectively, for not keeping their end of the bargain. Gary still lives at home, with the same room and sleeping in the same twin bed with Star Wars sheets he’s had since puberty.

retribution. He is seeking legal representation and suing his parents for robbing him of the adult lifestyle he feels he deserves.

His parents are unhappy with the recent turn of events. Mrs. Perry said, “You keep that kind of attitude up, young mister, and you’ll be grounded for the rest of your life!”

OUTRAGEOUS!

“You are not the boss of me!” Perry, Jr., screamed as he slammed the door to his room.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 85

Welcome to Phoenix Pride 2011!

As we move into our PRIDE festival season, it’s important to acknowledge the dedicated Board of Directors & staff, generous donors & sponsors, and vibrant community whose passionate spirit and support help to make LGBTQ living in metropolitan Phoenix as satisfying as it is. Phoenix Pride thrives from that support and is genuinely grateful to the many wonderful individuals and organizations that contribute as much and as often as they do.

That being said, it’s been a difficult and tumultuous year dealing with anti-LGBTQ social and political forces both nationally and within our state’s borders. Despite our challenging overall environment, we are making advances nationally with the Repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” this year and the Obama Administration no longer defending the Defense Of Marriage Act. The theme of our festival and the 15th Annual Phoenix Pride Parade, “DO ASK, DO TELL, BE PROUD” was inspired by the HOPE and POSSIBILITY that the repeal would indeed be signed by President Obama. You will see our Military Service Flags flying high as part of the Phoenix Pride Float to honor those men and women who have served, who are currently serving and those who were discharged under DADT. We salute you and hope that you will stand Proud with Phoenix Pride as we celebrate who we are as individuals and as a unified community.

Phoenix Pride is continuing a newly formed tradition with the “10 Days of Pride” with community organizations hosting Pride partnered public events beginning Friday, April 1st and finishing out the celebration with the 15th Annual Phoenix Pride Parade and the 2-day Pride Festival at Steele Indian School Park. Don’t miss our the 1st ever Marching Band (YES, I said Marching Band) in the parade, the New and Improved Karamba’s Dance Pavillion, the PROEM Wedding Expo, the Bistro ARTS Expo with live Art Auctions, our FUN ZONE, Erotic Art World, Rodeo Drive, the New Health Fair featuring the Hep Team and the Maricopa County Well Women’s Mammogram Bus and much, much more…….

A very special “Thank You” goes out to all of our volunteers, partners, sponsors, exhibitors and this fabulous community for your continued support of Phoenix Pride. And as always, THANK YOU to the members of the Phoenix Pride Board of Directors, Festival and Parade Committees and everyone who has volunteered in any capacity to help make the 20111 Phoenix Pride Festival and Parade successful events.

DO ASK, DO TELL, BE PROUD! Welcome to Phoenix Pride 2011!

Sincerely, Brandi Sokolosky Executive Director Phoenix Pride

Special Thanks to Phoenix Pride’s 2011 Sponsors!

City of Phoenix

Central Avenue

Camelback Road

Seventh Street

DO ASK, DO TELL, BE PROUD!

Fri., Apr. 1st Phoenix Film Festival

“Judas Kiss” Sponsored by

Phoenix Pride & Desparado Sat., Apr. 2nd Phoenix Film Festival LGBT Weekend Fri., Apr. 8th Sugar & Champaign SAVOR life Soriee, an Aunt Rita’s Event at the Phoenix Art Museum

Indian School Road

Fairmount Avenue GRANDSTANDS

Clarendon Avenue COFFEE FOOD

Judge’s Stage

Third Street

Osborn Road

Step Off at 11am

Thomas Road

RIDE THE LIGHTRAIL!

Sat., Apr. 9th SWAY Events and Apollo’s presents “Just Dance”, in Celebration of Pride Sun., Apr.10th

1n10 presents “Dining with the Divas” at Ticoz

Tues. Apr.12th Arizona Pride Guide’s Mix-n-Meet Thurs., Apr.14th ECHO Magazine’s

Reader Choice Awards

at Club Palazzo Fri., Apr. 15th GLSEN’s Day of Silence

IONAZ &

AZ Hellraiser’s PRIDE Kick-off Party at the Radisson SWAY and Smirnoff Vodka Pride Pub Crawl Pick up at the Radisson

PARKING $5 4041 N. Central Ave. (behind Phoenix School of Law)

STATION:

Indian School Rd.

Sat., Apr. 16th 15th Annual Phoenix Pride Parade & Phoenix Pride Festival

Amsterdam’s

PRIDE After Party Sun., Apr.17th Phoenix Pride Festival AZ Frontrunners 5K Walk/Run

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 87

FESTIVAL MAP Mexican Cantina

Fun Zone

Bungee

Erotic Art World

ARTS Expo

Health Fair

ENTRANCE

IMPORTANT FESTIVAL INFORMATION: FESTIVAL LOCATION

Steele Indian School Park 3rd Street & Indian School Rd.

FESTIVAL TICKETS

Discounted Tickets Online ONLY Single Day $20 at GATE Alcohol Tickets: $5

FESTIVAL HOURS Saturday noon- 9pm Sunday noon - 9pm

No Pets Allowed at Festival Umbrellas ARE Permitted 1 Unopened Bottle of Water Allowed (any size)

A full updated list of festival information can be found at http://www.phoenixpride.org/festival_faq.htm

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www.IONAZ.com April 2011

BISTRO Saturday, April 16th 2011 12:00 pm -12:30 pm

Meagan Gipson

12:30 pm - 1:00 pm

Sarah Slaton

1:15 pm - 1:45 pm Johanna Chase Band 2:00 pm - 2:30 pm Mikel & Meridith Duo 2:45 pm - 3:15 pm TBDs 3:30 pm - 4:15 pm Shara 4:15 pm - 5:00 pm Denise Allen Band 5:00 pm - 5:30 pm Adam Shenk 5:45 pm - 6:15 pm FutureKind 6:30 pm - 7:00 pm Roll Acosta 7:00 pm - 7:30 pm Candice Aragon 7:30 pm - 8:00 pm Carey Slade & Bernie Lezotte

Sunday, April 17th 2011 12:00 pm - 12:30pm

Adam Smith

12:30 pm - 1:00 pm

Carol Pacey Trio

1:00 pm - 1:30 pm Mary Godfrey & Friends 1:30 pm - 2:00 pm Jen Hajj 2:15 pm - 2:45 pm Kirsten Cuzick & Rick Lindroos 3:00 pm - 3:30 pm Richard Cortez 3:45 pm - 4:30 pm Adamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Evil 4:45 pm - 5:15 pm Corday 5:15 pm - 5:45 pm Saith 5:45 pm - 6:15 pm Anamieke 6:15 pm - 6:45 pm Laura Sawosko 6:45 pm - 7:15 pm Kyle Shields 7:30 pm - 8:00 pm Kenny Thames Duo

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 89

PRIDE COMMUNITY Saturday, April 16, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Hosted by

Hosted by

Michael Weakley & Mya

Michael Weakley & Mya

12:00 pm Welcome

12:00 pm Welcome Nonprofits

12:25 pm Mr. Phoenix Pride 2000

12:30 pm Imperial Court

Jeff Edwards

1:00 pm Mamma Toledo’s Pie

12:30 pm Babe Caylor’s Open Mic Poetry Slam

Eating Contest 1:30 pm Comedian Kelli Hoston

1:00 pm Sizzters Twisted

2:00 pm Kyle Shields

1:30 pm Devina Show

2:30 pm Mister & Miss Phoenix

2:00 pm Provactease Burlesque

Gay Pride

3:00 pm Afeelya’s Latin Hour

4:00 pm Latin Idols

3:30 pm Country Idols

5:00 pm 1n10 Youth

4:30 pm Just Dance Contestants

hosted by Nevaeh

And Contestants

5:00 pm Kings Hour

6:00 pm Edward Castro’s

6:00 pm Kitty Victorian

Drag Troupe

Burlesque Show

DANCE PAVILION

PRIDE METRO

90

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Saturday, April 16, 2011

POP/COUNTRY/LATIN/HIP HOP

ALL DAY DANCE/TOP 40

12-3 pm

DJ Urban

12-3 pm DJ Domenica

3-6 pm

DJ Delicious

3-6 pm DJ Paul

6-9 pm

DJ Tsuanmi

6-9 pm DJ Mic Mixxers

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

ELECTRIC

DANCE/TOP 40 &

12-2 pm

DJ Davie BooM

EN FUEGO NOCHE’ LATINO

2-4 pm

DJ Sophia Gunn

12-3 pm DJ Tsunami

4-6 pm

DJ Kela

3-6 pm DJ Wonder Twins

6-7 pm

DJ Kela vs.

6-9 pm DJ Melo

DJ Sophia Gunn

7-9 pm

DJ Austin Head

www.IONAZ.com April 2011

FESTIVAL STAGE SATURDAY 2011 Country Idols

3:45pm-4:00pm Mister & Miss Phoenix Gay Pride 4:00pm-5:00pm

Phoenix Follies

5:00pm-5:15pm Peaches, 2011 1st Runner Up Kaci Dublin Country Idol

Country Idol

Peaches 1st Runner Up

Cullen Danial 2nd Runner Up

Cullen Daniel, 2011 2nd

Runner Up Country Idol

Kaci Dubin, 2011 Country Idol

2011 Just Dance Winners

5:15pm-5:35pm

Comedian Carlease Burke

5:35pm-6:15pm

Ari Gold

6:15pm-7:10pm

Velvet Nation

7:15pm-8:00pm

Blake Lewis

8:00pm-9:00pm

Tiffany

FESTIVAL STAGE SUNDAY 3:00 pm - 3:30 pm

Del Rayz

3:40 pm - 4:20 pm

Coles Walen

4:30 pm - 5:00 pm

Matt Anacharico

5:10 pm - 5:50 pm

Sister Funk

6:00 pm - 6:45 pm

Super Stereo

7:00pm - 7:45 pm

Uh Huh Her

8:00 pm - 9:00 pm

Shiny Toy Guns

Barbra Seville

Comedian Carlease Burke

Derek Hartley & Romaine Patterson April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 91

92

www.IONAZ.com April 2011

IONPHOENIX 1.

Amsterdam Amsterdam

718N.N.Central Central Ave. Phoenix 718 Ave.--Downtown Downtown PHX

(602)258-6122 258-6122 (602)

2.

Apollo’s Anderson’s Nightclub

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix 6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(602) 277-9373 (480) 994-5176

3.

Apollo’s

4.

Bar 1

3702 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001

5.

Bliss / Rebar

901 N. 4th St. - Phoenix

(602) 795-1792

6.

BS West Charlie’s

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(480) 945-9028 (602) 265-0224

7.

Bunkhouse Cherry Bar

4428 Ave. - Phoenix 1028N. E. 7th Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) (602)200-9154 277-7729

8.

CherryInn Lounge Cash

Every starting 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe 2140 E.Thursday McDowell Rd. January - Phoenix (602) 244-9943

9.

The Chute Men’s Club Charlie’s

1440 Indian SchoolRd. Rd. -- Phoenix 727 W.ECamelback Phoenix

Clarendon Hotel

1028 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix (602) 277-7729

Bar 1

BS West Bunkhouse Cash Inn

10. Cherry Bar Club Vibe

11. Club Sutra Cruisin’ 7th

3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix 7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix

3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix 3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001

(602) 277-9373 (480) 945-9028

(602) 200-9154 (602) 244-9943

(602)265-0224 234-1654 (602) (602) CLARENDON

(602) 224-9977

(602) 682-5088 (602) 212-9888

7th 12. Cruisin’ Dick’s Cabaret 13. Dick’s Cabaret

3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 212-9888

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 274-DICK

Men’s Club 14. FLEX Forbidden

1517 Canyon Hwy - Phoenix 6820SE.Black 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(602) 271-9011 forbiddenaz.com

15. icepics Homme videobar

3108 E. Camelback McDowellRd. Rd. - Phoenix 138 W. - Phoenix

(602) (602)267-8707 266-0875

icepics videobar 16. Karamba

3108E. E.McDowell McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 1724 Rd. - Phoenix

(602)254-0231 267-8707 (602)

Incognito 17. Kobalt

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix 3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 955-9805 (602) 264-5307

The Door

Karamba

18. Lush Lounge Kobalt

19. OZ OZ

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

2050 N. Alma School - Chandler

(602) 274-DICK

(480) 967-DOOR

(602) 254-0231

(480) 857-9444

3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 264-5307

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 242-5114

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix (602) 242-5114

20. COMING SOON! PARADISE BAR 1749 W. Main St. - Mesa paradisebaraz.com Plazma

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477

21. Plazma Pumphouse II

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix 4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477 (602) 275-3509

II 22. Pumphouse Retro Bar

4132 - Phoenix 3114E.E.McDowell Cactus Rd. Rd. - Phoenix

(602) (602)275-3509 493-0355

The Rock Cactus 23. Rainbow

4129 N. Ave.Creek - Phoenix 15615 N.7th Cave Rd. - Phoenix

(602)971-1086 248-8559 (602)

24.

4531N. N.7th 7th St. - Phoenix 4129 Ave. - Phoenix

(602)248-8559 285-0833 (602)

Roscoe’s The Rock

Rainbow Cactus 25. Roscoe’s Velocity

26. Velocity Wild Card

27. Z Girl Club Z Girl Club

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler

4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix 4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 867-2463

(602) 285-0833 (602) 956-2885

(602) 956-2885 (480) 857-3088

(602) 265-3233 (602) 265-3233

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 93

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Apollo’s

Frat Dance Night 10pm 2-4-1 well/dom 50¢ draft refills

$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p Karaoke 9pm

$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p Male Strippers 10:30pm

Bar 1

Friday Happy Hour 4-7p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Saturday $2 dom bottle 6-9p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$2 Brown Bagged Beer 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Happier Hour 3-6:30p 2-4-1well $5 martinis-$3 all beer & h wine

Brunch 10am-2pm $4 Bloody $3 glass or $10 mimosas pitch

Sunday Chill 2-7pm 2-4-1 alcohol / $10 bucket beer

BS West

ELEMENTS Illusion Show Mandi & the Boom Boom Boys

2-4-1 everything all night Go-go dancers - A new tradition

Karaoke 9pm $1 Miller Lite drafts

Charlie’s

$3 pitchers/2-4-1 well/dom 2-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

$3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 12-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

Volleyball 4-7pm, NEW 3-4-1 $3 Long Islands, $3 pitchers

Cherry Bar

Happy Hour 3pm - 7pm

Kenny Tames LIVE 5-8 pm Happy Hour 3pm - 7pm

Brunch 10a-2p 80s Flashback videos 9pm

Cruisn’ 7th

TGIF - Devina 10:30 pm

AZ Leathermen Strippers 4:3 New Show Hostess Mia Adams

Morning Madness 1st & 3rd Sun $3 Svedka cocktails 7p-close

Dick’s Cabaret

2-4-1 VIP Dances 7pm ‘til 9pm

Off the Hook Tons of Prizes & Giveaways

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances & VIP Wristbands

$3 Pomegranate Presses Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$3 Bottle Beer & Tequila Shot Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$3 Brunch Drinks 50% off bottles of wine

MEAT - Hot Go Go Dancers $2.50 dom / $3 well / $4 Lg Isl.

The Chane Jordan Show! $4 SKYY cocktails 10pm

Show Tunes Sundays 2pm-8pm 2-4-1 drinks

R Bliss / ReBAR

R FEZ icepics

Roscoe’s 10:00p- 1:00a

The Leathermen

Cruisin’ 7th | Plazma 4:30p - 7:00p | 10:30p - 1:30p

Fridays Karaoke @ 9pm

Saturdays - Live DJ Starting at 10pm

Sunday Karaoke & Triva Night @ 8:30

Fridays $4 Pitchers

Saturdays $4 Pitchers

Sundays with Diamond $3 pitchers

R Maizie’s

Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Happy Hour Brunch 9a-2p 3-6pm Everyday

Brunch All Day Closes at 4pm

R Mi Patio

Fridays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Saturdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Sundays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm-Open 11-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm-Open 11-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

R Roscoe’s*

The Leathermen!

Great Happy Hour

Happy Hour 10am-7pm Free Darts All afternoon

Make your Bloody Mary Bar $8 Lg Isnd Pitch. $3 Beer Pitch.

R Switch

Fri: $3 House Margaritas Open from 11am-Midnight

Sat: $3 House Cosmo Martini Open from 10am-Midnight

$3 Sweet Tea Vodka Lemonade $3 Breakfast Carafes Open @ 10

R Ticoz

Fridays 1/2 off Coronas all day Happy Hour 3-6:30pm

Saturday 1/2 off well vodka Brunch 10a-3p - HH 3-6:30p

Sundays 1/2 off Sangria Pitch Brunch 10a-3p - HH 3-6:30

Fridays Live Comedy 7pm & 9pm

Saturdays Live Comedy 7pm & 9pm

R Lush Lounge Karamba

The Rock

Vagabond Nightclub

R

94

FULL MENU

* LIMITED MENU/TIMES

www.IONAZ.com April 2011

FREE PROJECT HARD HAT CONDOMS

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

Drag Race Viewing / Bingo 9pm 2 for 1 U Call-It

Tuesday $2 OFF any martini ALL DAY

Happy Hour All day / All night

Karaoke 9:30pm

Monday $1 Bud Lt. Drft 4-cl.

10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

KAROKE $2.50 wel, dom 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$1 OFF in your undies/leather 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Thursday 2-4-1 U Call It 10a- cl 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Student Salvation Mondays $20 Plate of apps + bottle wine

Twofer Tuesdays $20 2 burgers/fries/2 dom beer

2-4-1 Wednesdays 9pm-close 2-4-1 on ALL drinks

Thirstday Thursdays $4 AMF, Lng Islnd/ Skinny drink

W.H.O.R.E. Service Industry $2 dom $3 well $4 bombers

Stars of Tomorrow Show with Kendra St. James $4 Skyy

2-4-1 All Day and All Night A valley tradion!

Alternative Night w/Shane Ecks $2 drafts

Underwear Party 8-cl 1/2 price 2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 2-8pm $3 pitch. 2-4-1 well/dom 8p-Close 2-4-1 cocktails/dom

2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 8p-close $3 Pinnacle

2-4-1 All Day! Cocktails and beer

Happy Hour 3pm - 7pm Karaoke 9pm - close

Happy Hour 3pm - 7pm

Welfare Wednesdays $2 dom / $2 well

Happy Hour 3pm - 7pm Shirts & Skins Go Go Boys 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

Steppin’ Out TC Taylor hosts 10:30 pm - $2 domestic

AZ Leathermen Strippers 10:30 pm

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances, VIP Wristbands

Amateur Night Starts at 10pm

Wacky Wednesdays $5 Cover and almost everything else

Stripper Karaoke

$3 Burgers $ Margaritas Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

‘tini Tuesdays $3 Martinis Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$20 Any Bottle of Wine Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$3 G Spots Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

Martini Night $4 SKYY Martinis

GLEE starting at 7pm 2-4-1 drinks during the show

Karaoke starting at 9pm $3 well/$2.50 dom./$4 martinis

2-4-1 in undies beer/well 9p-cl $3 Three Olives Thursdays Cruisin’ 7th 10:30p - 12:30p

The Leathermen perform at Roscoe’s, Cruisin’ 7th and Plazma!

Tuesdays 2-4-1

Wednesday $3 U-Call-It SHOTS

Thursdays Game & Trivai Night @ 9pm

Tuesdays with Savannah $2 Drinks All Night

Wednesdays with Barbra Seville $2 Drinks All Night

Thursdays with Ruby $2 drinks all night

$4 Bistro Burgers 4-10pm $10 off of all Bottled Wines

Pizza/Wine Special Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

BBQ Short Ribs Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

$3 Mexican Beers Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Mondays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Tuesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Wednesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Thursdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Monday Pool Tournament 2-4-1 beer & well 7pm-close

2 for Tuesdays 2-4-1 drinks all day

Wednesday All Day Happy Hour

Thursdays 2-4-1 7pm

Mon: $3 House Chard and Cab Open from 11am-Midnight

Tue: $3 Drunken Italian Sodas Open from 11am-Midnight

Wed: $3 Sangrias Open from 11am-Midnight

Thur: $3 Caipirinhas Open from 11am-Midnight

Mondays 1/2 off Mojitos HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid

Tuesdays 1/2 off Sangrias Wednesdays 1/2 off Margaritas HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid

Mondays $3 U-Call-It

Wednesdays Cheap Ass $1 Drinks

Thursdays 1/2 off draft beer HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid INFERNO THURSDAYS 18+ The hottest dance club

ION ARIZONA April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 95

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by Addison DeWitt

It’s April, but don’t be foolish! A wise man once said that it’s better to lose your pride with someone you love than lose that someone with your useless pride. Despite my rotten jokes, this is something you can take seriously. It’s time for Phoenix Pride! Share it with someone you love. Now, on to the rotten jokes. And a couple of ‘em are dirty! Real dirty!

tell you this much: you’ll be mighty surprised with what he uses for a dipstick.

However, our boy Luke doesn’t seem all that dismayed with the “bait ‘n’ switch” ploy, despite his stellar and emotional acting performance.

Well, I can tell you that this kind of thing never happened to me at JiffyLube, much to my regret. And don’t think I can’t get it done by Luke through RentBoy.com for $19.99, I’ll tell you that much.

The Mister & Miss Phoenix Pride “Honey! Stop the car!” According Pageant at the venerable Orpheum to one actual statistic that I did Theatre featured RuPaul’s not make up (according to Drag Race alumnae JuJuBee phoenixmarkettrends.com, just (who mentioned that she was in case you think I am making cheated out of $500 from a it up, smart alecks! It’s called nefarious promoter when she “Fact Checking.”) about 40,000 made an appearance here last homes are currently on the year. And boy! Is she mad!) and market here in Phoenix. Lord the Puerto Rican spitfire Jessica knows you can’t swing a dead cat Wild. around this town without hitting a realtor. During these hard times, what Readers should know that la Wild’s does a does a real estate agent do when he couturier par excellence for the famous fringed can’t sell enough 4-bed/2-bath homes fixercorset that she wore performing “You Like it upper in a great school district? The answer is Wild” and featured in Jessica’s TV commercial obvious, goose! Pornography! for ABSOLUT Vodka is none other than our very own Brian Linger. He also created the Why am I not surprised? Realtor “Shay gown for contestant, Miss Classy Corona. Eat Michaels” is a star on CockSureMen.com your heart out, Betsy Ross! these days. Watch the movie “Coffee & Cock” you’ll find that the term “Open House” Carp or criticize. Compliment or will take on a whole new meaning. Because complain. Tattle on your friends. something’s opened up, that’s for sure.

I can’t do it all myself. Send these tidbits to Addison This however, wasn’t nearly as shocking as at RumorHound@aol. when I discovered the so-called “suspension com. It’s fun. of disbelief” that’s rampant in movies these Trust me. days. Imagine my surprise when I found out “reality porn” is completely fabricated! Take a look at BaitBus.com where supposedly unsuspecting “Straight” boys are “tricked” into having Gay sex in a rather seedy van cruising down a Florida road with a busty broad who lures them in with the promise of poontang. That’s when the ol’ switcheroo happens. I heard that local blue movie star Luke Marcum (and —surprise! — that’s not even his real name either, I heard!) stars in a short film called “Changing the Oil.” Well, I’ll April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 97

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www.IONAZ.com April 2011

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22 Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

There’s no fool like an old fool! If it’s your birthday this month you’ll feel a little foolish you accomplish something you’ve been putting off because you thought it was too hard. You make it look easy! Speaking of easy ... you’ll find someone who is.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

Good. Bad. True. Lie. Yes. No. Up. Down.

Maybe. See? Things aren’t always black or white. There’s always a shade of pink in there somewhere. You’re always able to find it easier than others. Others appreciate your fairness and balance. And you’re sexy, too.

Your powers of persuasion are terrific. Once you whisper sweet nothings in someone’s ear, they’re putty in your hands. Just make sure you have only their best interests at heart, too. You can be kind of selfish, you know. I’m just sayin’.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

Face it: you’re no saint. We all know that.

You’re not the Devil, either, although this month you’re acting like it. A little Hellfire and Brimstone can go a long way. Don’t torture too many souls. They’re your biggest fans and you need them. Trust the stars on this.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

Something you lost is found. It may be valuable, even if only for sentimental reasons.

Still, you’ll surprised with its return. But it sure won’t be your virginity, pal; you can forget that. That’s gone for good.

Sometimes you want Ho-Ho’s. Sometimes you want Zingers. Sometimes you want a Twinkie. Honey, we all want a Twinkie. In the big picture, remember, variety really is the spice of life. Expand your horizons. Not your waistline. Summer’s almost here..

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Sometimes you just wake up mad at life. It happens. Try to channel all that rage into something creative, like making potholders or tea cozies. A special gift from your heart will comfort someone who needs a little TLC.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

Just like Dr. Dolittle’s famous Pushmi-Pullyu, you can’t tell if you’re coming or going. Just make sure you own every decision you make.

But you know that shirt everybody tells you they hate? Don’t wear it anymore. It really is ugly.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

You’re suspiciously sweet these days. Your “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” disposition fools many, but not all. We know you’re up to something, but not quite sure what. Who knows? Maybe you really are this sweet. But we doubt it.

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www.IONAZ.com

April 2011

Surprise! Something you’ve always dreamed about and wanted lands right in your lap.

Chances are it’s something you forgot about. This might be a small gift, something extravagant, or a dose of self-esteem. Hint: it won’t be a hooker. So forget that.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Your “get up ‘n’ go” just got up and went.

Relax. Watch that DVD box set of Ugly Betty you just had to have three years ago. Read a good book. Make Fettucini Carbonara. Ignore people who you never really liked in the first place. Don’t you feel better now?

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You’ll discover that you’re turning heads this month. Sometimes they keep turning around and around, like that girl’s in The Exorcist.

Make sure people are looking at you for all the right reasons, and not because you’re slightly insane. Keep it balanced.

April 2011 www.IONAZ.com 101