ION Arizona #111 September 2010

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Photos by Richard Bolinski 6

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Welcome to Beautiful Arizona!

Whether you are going to college in Arizona, coming back from traveling the globe, an early Snow Bird, or just coming out of the proverbial summer hibernation, welcome back! We are glad you’re here! Use ION Arizona as your guide to all the of great events happening now that the weather is slowly cooling off (relatively speaking, of course).

Nightlife Guide

If you’re new to Arizona or just looking for fun, ION makes it easy to find out what’s going on. Use our entertainment guides to find some of the best hotspots and restaurants in the valley. There’s also a map and list of drink specials at the local bars and clubs in the back of every issue.

Fall Sports Guide

Attention sport fans, - uh - “athletic supporters” or people who like uniforms, welcome to our “Balls to the Wall” sports issue. We’ve featured some of the sexiest jocks around to bring you a guide about local sports leagues. There’s great information so you can get involved, have fun and meet wonderful people, too!

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And Have We Got A Story for You!

We’ve have features about Barbra Seville and her Wonderful 100 team in the AIDS Walk, the “Queer of the Year” contest with the wacky Nathan Gilligan, author and playwright Tania Katan’s one-woman show about her battle with breast cancer told with candor and humor, and tale about the return of Celia Putty.

Here at ION, we want to hear from YOU! We want your opinion. Let us know how we’re doing. Tell us what you love and what you would like to see more of. Tell us what you’d change. E-mail me at ionarizona@ me.com. I read each e-mail. Okay, so I have no life.

Now get ready to play ball! Read ION Arizona cover to cover then go outside and have fun!

Sincerely,

Jack M. Tesorero

Publisher

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NOH8 CAMPAIGN 3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero - Ext. 5 ................. jacktesorero@me.com

My Heatstroke.com Bill Knoop .................................................... (602) 301-8457 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown - Ext. 3 .................. ionazeditor@me.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com GRAPHIC DESIGNER Brock Miles ......................... ionazproduction@me.com PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Mike Scofield Ext 2 - ionazsales@me.com Photographers:

Jerry O’Conner Carlos Silva

Don Thompson Chris Joswick

National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:

Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly

Ted Kirby Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez

Published monthly by

1995-2010: 15 Years of Design and Creative Excellence

© 2010 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN THE PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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photos bySeptember Adam Bouska 2010

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Bliss/Rebar Grand Opening You’ll find Nirvana at the hottest spot to open in Phoenix. Hungry? They’ve got a divine, affordable menu. Thirsty? They’re offering up imaginative drinks.

Hint: Ask bartender Andrew to make you a “Boston Tea Party.” It’ll start a revolution. Menu and drink specials with parking nearby. Sounds like heaven.

901 N. 4th St. www.blissonfourth.com (See ad on p. 3)

Barbra’s Wonderful 100 AIDS Walk Sign-Up The Blonde One trades in her Jimmy Choos for a smart pair of Pumas for the AIDS Walk.

Be part of Seville’s Wonderful 100 Walking Team! Come to Yappy Hour with your wellbehaved pet and sign up at BS West on Sunday, Sept. 12 from 2-4 pm. Can’t make it?

Meet the team and join at Switch on Wednesday, Sept. 29, 7-9 pm.

Pandemonium at icepics Pandora Production and the twisted AZ Gender Outlaws present a weekend of Pandemonium! You know her as Connie Marble or Peggy Gravel, on Friday, September 17 meet John Waters’ Dreamland Players star, Mink Stole from 5-7 pm. On Saturday, Sept.

18 see San Francisco’s wildest drag queen, Peaches Christ for a unique film experience.

3108 E. McDowell Rd. www.icepicsvideobar. com (See ad p. 13)

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Roscoe’s Family Feud “And the survey SAYS!” It all depends.

Hustle on down to Roscoe’s on Saturday, Sept. 18 and see if your team can guess the top answers to insanely funny questions. It’s only $20 per team to play. But wait! Stick around! A live DJ follows at 10 pm. Remember, on Sunday, Sept. 12 their famous brunch starts again! 4531 N. 7th St. www.Roscoeson7th.com (See ad pp. 22-23)

Cherry Bar Grand Re-Opening You might call this “Cherry Jubilee!” Cherry Bar has reinvented itself! Starting on Sept. 12 with a NFL Sunday Tailgate Brunch from 10 am-2 pm, followed by Kill-a-Keg at 4 pm. But the real barnburner happens on Friday, Sept. 24 at 8 pm. And wait’ll you see the new staff! Talk about Cherry Bombs! 1028 E. Indian School Rd. www.CherryBarAZ.com (See ad pp. 3-4)

September 2010 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE

EVENT & LOCATION

CITY

Fridays Friday Night Frat Party at Apollo’s Phoenix 5 BiLatinMen.com Party at Karambas Phoenix 3-6 Labor Day Weekend at Charlie’s Phoenix 11 AIDS Walk a-Go-Go at Karamba Phoenix 12 Seville’s AIDS Walk sign-up at BS West Scottsdale 12 Roscoe’s Brunch Is Back!

Phoenix 12 Tailgate Brunch & Kill-a-Keg at Cherry Bar Phoenix 12 Amateur Strip Contest at Apollo’s Phoenix 15-16 “El Grito” Independence Day & Fiestas Patrias at Karamba Phoenix 16 Foam Bash at Forbidden Scottsdale 17-18 Mink Stole & Peaches Christ at icepics Phoenix 18 Roscoe’s Family Feud Phoenix 24 Cherry Bar Grand Re-Opening Phoenix 24 Project Hardhat Party at Bunkhouse Phoenix 27 SW Center Bowling League at Shea Village Lanes Phoenix 29 Seville’s Wonderful 100 AIDS Walk signup at Switch Phoenix OCTOBER 2 Karamba’s 6th Anniversary Party Phoenix 2 After Rainbows White Party at Cherry Bar Phoenix 3 AIDS Walk & Rainbows Festival Phoenix 3 Mr. Gay USofA at BS West (REAL GUYS, NOT DRAG KINGS) 8 Carnaval Latino Tucson September 2010

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Miss gay arizona of america

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Newcomer of the Year Finals at Forbidden Who will be Arizona’s next drag superstar? Coco St. James? PJ Bottoms? Celia Self? Felicia Minor? Kira Daniels or Iva Desire? Maybe the luscious Lady D’Gotti will take home the title. Talent, Q&A, Evening Wear and Mystery Challenge will determine who wins. Wedneday, September 8th at Forbidden. 6820 E. 5th Ave. in Scottsdale. Reserve your table at www.ForbiddenAZ.com Doors open at 8 p.m.

Pussy’s 50th Birthday It’s the half-century mark for Pussy LeHoot! And there’s a lot of life left in the old gal yet! Join in the birthday hijinx where they’ll also be celebrating Puss’s 30th anniversary in show business and pantyhose! See you at Charlie’s on Saturday, September 12 at 8 p.m. 727 W. Camelback Rd. in Phoenix. www.CharliesPhoenix.com

September 2010 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Mondays 9:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo with Erikya Knowles Monday 6th 4:00pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Annual Labor Day Show Tuesday 21st 7:00pm Palazzo Golden Wighead Awards Tuesday 21st 8:00pm BS West Miss Gay USofA at LArge Fundraiser for Eryka K, Wednesday 222nd 9:30pm Go Large or Go Home AZ at LArge Fundraiser Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Claudia B. & Company Third Thursdays 10:00pm Forbidden Miss Ruby’s Show Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Grecia’s Show Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - followed by Mandy B.B.’s Boys!

Friday 10th 8:00pm BS West Tour De Tatas Breast Cancer Fundraiser Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Follies Comedy Drag Show Saturdays 10:00pm Forbidden The Barbra Seville Show Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show Sunday 5th 6:00pm Doubletree Hotel, Tucson - Turnabout for TIHAN Sunday 5th 8:00pm Apollo’s Afeelya Bunz TToTM w/ Tyra Marie Sunday 5th 8:00pm Charlie’s Dirty Ol’ Broads Ebony’s Birthday Show Sunday 12th 8:00pm Apollo’s T.C. Taylor’s TToTM for C.A.R.E. Sunday 12th 8:00pm Charlie’s Pussy’s 50t Birthday Blowout Sunday 19th 8:00pm Apollo’s Mia Adams TToTM Sunday 26th 8:00pm Apollo’s Barbra Seville’s TToTM Show Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Galilea’s Show To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser 24

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Celia Putty “And They Call it Putty Love”

by Deon Brown

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or longtime drag enthusiasts it’s hard to believe that it’s been ten long, dreary years since the comic genius that was Miss Celia McGillicuddy Putty disappeared one night, slipping into the inky depths of the Arizona Grand Canal without a trace. The Phoenix nightclub stages lost one of the truly creative – and a little bit goofy – performers who shaped Phoenix’ “Golden Age of Drag” in the late 1980s.

Miraculously, as legend would have it, Celia Putty was discovered just a few months ago, having been sold into White Slavery somewhere in the mystic Orient for the past decade.

That’s what the press releases say.

Thanks to man inside the pantyhose, Richie Black – Putty’s back!

Glamorous, glorious and girdled up good, Celia’s spent hours honing her skills: lips synching, dancing, rehearsing, and backcombing wigs, ready to “wow” a hungry audience. Putty’s here to stay. And better than ever!

A colorful conversation with the crackpot comedian revealed a sensitive side of the dewy-eyed star – remarkably youthful in appearance; an ingenue once again, and raring to go.

“I’m really excited and a little bit nervous,” Richie confessed. “I’m a married homebody now. I’m needed a creative outlet and Putty is a vehicle

for that. Right now, drag is exploding in the house!” Black expressed his delight being able to order some things online, not like the “old days,” when you had to drive and try things on in the store.

After a brief –let’s say – “career derailment,” why did it take a decade to get Miss Putty back? “I always left the door open,” Richie explained.

“That’s why I never completely killed her off, like it was reported. She just disappeared. I’ve had offers to bring her back through the years.

Barbra Seville has asked me before. This year – for a lot of reasons – it was time.”

Philosophically, Richie added, “There’s some symbolism in it for me, too.”

Veterans remember when Putty and her sidekick Barbra Seville were budding starlets and took the stage by storm.

Those introduced to Putty will love her comedy and anything-for-a-laugh onstage antics.

“Once I decided to bring her back to life, it was like adding water to a Chia Pet,” Richie laughs enthusiastically.

Come see what all the fuss is about!

Celia Putty makes her debut redux with cohort Barbra Seville on Saturday, September 18 at Forbidden Showroom.

She’ll attend the Golden Wig Head Awards at Palazzo on Tuesday, September 21 and perform again on Sunday, September 26 at Apollo’s.

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Phoenix Cooks!

Indulge, sample, learn, shop, mingle and more at Phoenix Cooks!

Over 50 fabulous restaurants and resorts will be on hand in this interactive environment where you can learn how to cook like a top chef, pair wines, shop for the ultimate kitchen equipment and more on Sunday, September 4 from 10 a.m.- 3 p.m. at the JW Marriott Desert Ridge, 5350 E. Marriott Dr. in Phoenix. Visit www.PhoenixCooks.com for tix and info.

Restaurant Week Several major cities around the country set aside a week where local restaurants can showcase their menus by offering a special meal at a special price. It’s a great way to get to know some local dining options, some of which may have prices a bit beyond our reach. Usually three courses around $29-$39 each. Visit www.ArizonaRestaurantWeek.com for a list of restaurants in Tucson and Phoenix.

Grand Avenue Festival Historic building tours, fashion shows, music performances and art studios all featuring local talent and a variety of other neat and weird and kooky stuff all happens on that goofy perpendicular street, lower Grand Avenue, for this second annual event on Saturday, September 25! Best of all, it’s a street fair, so it’s FREE! For more information go to www.GrandAvePhx.dom

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ARTIST / EVENT LOCATION

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Phoenix Cooks! at Marriott Desert Ridge CopperCon Sci Fi Convention at Windemere Hotel Mesa Arts Center Season Kick Off Party AZ Home & Building Expo Doggie Dive-In Palm Island Aquatic Park El Zaribah Shrine Circus at West World Fall Frenzy at Tempe Beach Park AZ Restaurant Week Tukee Fest Rockin’ the Park Smithsonian Museum Free Day Grand Avenue Festival

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Phoenix Mesa Mesa Phx Convention Ctr. Casa Grande Scottsdale Tempe various restaurants Ahwatukee various museums Phoenix

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Jonas Brothers If you can’t make up your mind which Jonas Brother is the cutest – we say it’s Joe – you can make up your mind when the Disney darling boy band bounces into town to perform at the Cricket Wireless Pavilion on Tuesday, September 14 to croon to a crowd of tweeny boppers. And maybe even you. 2121 N. 83rd Ave. For tix call 602-254-7200 or visit www. LiveNation.com

Arizona Fall Frenzy If you like music, and if you like to sweat, you’ll love the Arizona Fall Frenzy! Every year some of the hottest new names in music – as well as few old warhorses – rock the stage at Tempe Beach Park, off Mill Avenue. This year you’ll see Stone Temple Pilots, Weezer, Devo, Blue October, Primus, Sublime with Rome, and many more! Visit www.LuckyManOnline.com for info and tix or call 480-829-0707

Carrie Underwood One of the hottest names in country music to emerge from American Idol who was never a stripper, comes to town to strut her stuff – vocally, that is – at the Jobing.com Arena on Sunday, Oct. 3. C’mon down to 9400 W. Maryland Ave in Glendale. For tix call 800-745-3000 or go to www.ticketmaster.com.

September 2010 ION Concert Calendar DATE ARTIST / EVENT LOCATION 14 Jonas Brothers 15 Paramore w/ Tegan & Sarah 17 Blue Oyster Cult & Foghat 17-18 AZ Fall Frenzy 18 Brad Paisley 18 Tower of Power 19 Rockstar Energy Drink Festival 23 Chris Isaak 24 KISS 24 Pixies 25 Train 26 Tom Petty 26 70s Soul Jam 28 Bryan Adams OCTOBER 3 Carrie Underwood

Cricket Wireless Pavilion Dodge Theatre Celebrity Theatre Tempe Beach Park Cricket Wireless Pavilion Celebrity Theatre Tempe Beach Park Celebrity Theatre Cricket Wireless Pavilion Mesa Amphitheatre US Airways Center US Airways Center Celebrity Theatre Orpheum Theatre

602-254-7200 602-379-2888 602-267-1600 480-829-0707 602-254-7200 602-267-1600

Jobing.com Arena

800-745-3000

September 2010

602-267-1600 602-254-7200 4800-829-0707 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 602-267-1600

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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? In addition to these great finds, check out new albums from Papa Roach, Lyfe Jennings, Sara Bareilles, Interpol, Linkin Park, Kenny Chesney, Jimmy Eat World, Michelle Branch, Weezer, Armin Van Buuren, Mark Ronson, Paula Cole and Maroon 5!

Robyn

Body Talk Pt. 2 Robyn’s quest for a trifecta is two-thirds complete with this brilliant release of Body Talk 2. “Hang With Me,” shines in its ode to “Dancing on my Own” and “Every Heartbeat” kills with its emotional yet effervescent beat.

This set also gets amazing support from the robotic, electro, floor filler “Criminal Intent” as well as the Kelly Rowland-esque dance anthem “Love Kills.” And then there’s the strange but workable collaboration with Snoop Dogg “U Should Know Better.” It sounds like oil and water, but ends up more like tea and honey. In all, this is one album you need to get now!

Brandon Flowers Flamingo

They made a name for themselves by saying your boyfriend looks like a girlfriend and now with the Killers on hiatus, Brandon Flowers is ready to go Stefani on us. Though the tracks were originally written for the group, they work very well as a stand-alone.

“Crossfire,” the first single has one of the catchiest piano riffs to come out in years. It’s melodic, purposeful and has a Keane-like vibe. Flamingo also gets great help from the collaboration with Rilo Kiley’s lead on “Hard Enough” as well as the rock-tinged offerings

of “Jilted Lovers” and “Broken Hearts.” And there’s the song that wins on its name – “Welcome to the Fabulous Las Vegas.”

Katie Melua The House

For something different, check out Katie’s 180 degree turn of tunes.

Produced by the beloved William Orbit, Katie takes her rich voice and creates an album that is atmospheric, romantic and very workably eerie. Think of this as a Norah Jones on drugs with a soft electric feel only Orbit can produce. Tracks of note include “The Flood” with its ethereal, moving and sweeping notion as well as “Moment of Madness” and its Broadway ode to the musical Chicago. And there’s the trippy “Happy Place,” a song that sounds like it came right out of a Tim Burton film.

Underworld Barking

The group most famous for their 90’s techno masterpiece, “Born Slippy” is back with their best offering in a decade. Barking takes the group back to their original sound and gives fans a taste of what made them a household name. Lead single “Scribble” is soft yet driven with its drum and bass feel all while resonating with a commercial hook that screams simple but majestic. Other songs of note include the Paul Van Dyk collaboration, “Diamond Jigsaw” and Dubfire’s “Bird1.”

The only track not featuring a guest spot is the last of nine tracks called “Louisiana.” It’s great to see a group still making relevant music after 30 years.

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Tania Katan “Saving Tania’s Privates”

by Deon Brown 36

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n 1992, Tania Katan received her first diagnosis of breast cancer and underwent a radical mastectomy. The cancer migrated and attacked her remaining breast in 2002. An eternal optimist, Katan wrote the memoir, My One Night Stand With Cancer (2005, Alyson Books), a poignant, funny, philosophical look at life as a Lesbian. With breast cancer. And living to tell the tale.

has a theatrical arc, that hits all these notes – one that’s funny, that captures the drama of the whole experience. I’m acting. When I work with my director, we work with the reality of each scene. I find that being in a situation that’s really life or death wasn’t as helpful as having a sense of humor in the creative realm of looking at things that were going to happen.”

Now, Katan adapted her book into a onewoman show and received rave reviews, performing in Edinburgh, Scotland and in Seattle, Washington. She brings this show back home to Phoenix, where it all started, and she’ll perform at the Phoenix Theatre’s Little Theatre. “It’s about dating and losing boobs.

And some stuff in between,” Tania said.

But serious illness transcends sexual orientation and gender. “There’s a perception within a straight audience that Lesbians have it easier because our partners will ‘understand’ because women are all caring and stuff, but the reality of getting breast cancer or any illness that causes you to have a part removed that’s connected to sexuality is that partners, husbands, wives, are uncomfortable with it, or okay with it, regardless of sexual orientation.”

Always ready with a quick quip, we asked Tania if anything about breast cancer was funny for her. “I don’t think of the elements as being funny, as much as being absurd,” she explained.

“It’s the absurdity of illness. When I had my second breast removed, the the surgeon had me mark on a figure on a piece of paper which breast would be removed – on a little stick figure. Since I only had one breast I drew a little arrow to the left breast and wrote, ‘Repeat performance.’ The chances of them getting it right was pretty easy.”

Katan condensed her 288 page book into a script for an audience but the story is still the same: a young woman – who just happens to be Lesbian – with breast cancer. “I’ve written a complete play with an audience in mind. I work with a director, a dramaturge so that we can craft a story that makes sense,

Does she miss her breasts?

“Gosh, when I had one breast, for a long time I sort of missed having two.

When I had the second one removed it was sort of this ‘clean slate’ situation. But, no, I haven’t thought about my boobies for a long time. I feel symmetrical again. I don’t think about my breasts, I think about other peoples’ breasts.”

Tania’s show features, “Gay people, me singing poorly, and doctors missing veins.

And some dancing girls. And by dancing girls, I mean me. And cancer. What more do you need?”

You can’t “catch” breast cancer, but you can catch Tania Katan’s brilliant “Saving Tania’s Privates” at the Little Theatre at Phoenix Theatre at 100 E. McDowell Rd. Sept. -Oct. 10 at 8 p.m. Box Office: 602-254-2151

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Beach Party Weekend

PHOENIX

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Gilligan’s Guy-land

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ere at ION Arizona, we’re constantly amazed and surprised with the ingenuity and flair that members of our local GLBTQ community exhibit when presented with a challenge or an opportunity. You never know what seeds will fall on fertile ground.

This past July, ION presented readers with the opportunity to enter the first ever “Queer of the Year” contest held in beautiful Montréal, Canda. This pageant was sponsored in part

by Tourisme Montréal, the Greater Montréal Convention and Tourism Bureau, GAY. com, Fierté Montréal Pride.

Out of hundreds of applicants, the field was narrowed down to twenty who were interviewed by judges for their Personality, Talent, Healthy Lifestyle, Sex Appeal, Creativity, Showmanship, Fab Factor, Smarts, Social Media Popularity, Background, and a Sense of Community in a search for the Brightest Star under the Rainbow, to find out who’s got the sass, the class, and the brass to named “Queer of the Year 2010.”

The story all played out on www.

QueerOfTheYearContest.com ION printed an encouragement for local favorite Nathan Gilligan to enter the contest, and he bit. The prospect of being cast in a reality show can be intimidating. Nathan reflected, “I was

totally not going to apply for what I now call a mixture of Sex In The City meets the Gay Real World, but I did.”

The top five finalists competed in Montréal during their Pride week, August 9-16. A film crew followed them as they took part in all kinds of crazy activities – a car wash, a gourmet cookoff, a drag show, a photo shoot and an urban triathlon. Viewers voted for their favorite contestants online, while Nathan’s fans – Team Gilligan – watched to see how our hometown boy performed.

Nathan won the Cook-Off, he blew their dresses up over their wigs in the Drag Challenge and place third in the Photoshoot.

Finally, Phoenix’s Favorite Son came in Second Place.

We spoke to Nathan about his experience in the beautiful city of Montréal and his performance in QOTY. “Montréal is a city that stands out.

I mean, name a city that you know for sure finds pride in making sure the entire city somehow involves themselves as well as their entire family – both Gay and Straight alike,” Nathan explained. “In most cities, the Rainbow flag is flown only for the weekend, but Montréal makes sure education, community involvement, and acceptance are respected values as a part of the city’s understood ‘code of ethics’ and can proudly fly Rainbows September 2010

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24/7/365 without shame. So, to choose my favorite thing about Montréal is like asking me to eat just one Oreo; it just can’t happen,” Nathan said laughingly.

“The GLBT community is so freeflowing and very much into the concept educating the future –the youth – not to hate. I love this! Now, if only us Americans started educating our children, maybe generations to come can change the negative thought process toward members of the GLBTQ community by learning to accept people just as they are: human.”

We asked Nathan what gifts he brought to the table for the QOTY competition. “Myself! After all ‘Nathan’ means ‘a gift from God’ and I know us Americans always forget the receipt of purchase when trying to return something. So, you’re stuck with me and, no, you can’t have in-store credit. All kidding aside, I brought an educated, humorous way to express myself. I brought big smiles, over-thetop screams and a personality that’s unmatched. I think it’s because I’m 100% original, Illinois-grown, USDA Choice. The Surgeon General warns I’m highly addictive,” he added with a wink.

Although the handsome Sean Horlor, a Canadian from Vancouver, won the Queer of the Year contest and the title, our Gilligan is the Queer of the Year stateside.

“ION Arizona made this possible by sowing the seed and now look at me! I’m the #1 QUEER IN THE USA, BABY! Heck, after you say it a few times its feels good! ‘Nathan Gilligan: Queer of America!’ Never should we forget to build our GLBT community up, so stop the homo-to-homo hate!

I’m NOH8 N8! ‘Americas Top Queer!’”

Saving Tania’s Privates Writer, performer and local favorite writer – and coincidentally Lesbian – Tania Katan adapted her poignant best-selling memoir My One Night Stand With Cancer for the stage in this acclaimed one woman show. Tania’s wit and honesty while she recounts her story of her life with and survival from breast cancer is amazing. Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. Sept. 16-Oct. 10. Call 602-254-2151 for tix and info or visit www.SavingTaniasPrivates.com

Margaret Cho : Cho Dependent

Everybody’s favorite Korean-American comedian/fashion designer/actress/author comes to Phoenix with a new musical comedy routine to entertain you and – what else? – promote her new album! And a portion of proceeds go to help the Gulf recover from the BP fiasco. It all happens at the Dodge Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. For tix call 602-379-2888

Daniel Tosh

“I’m all for Gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house ...” The goofy, adorable, and slightly Gay (but we don’t know for sure) Daniel Tosh comes to the Dodge Theatre to share his funny observations. And did we mention how cute he is? 400 W. Washington St. For tix call 602-379-2888

September 2010 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT 9-25 Blood Royal SW Shakespeare 10-12 The Music Man thru 11 Saucy Jack & The Space Vixens thru 12 Noises Off 16-10/10 Saving Tania’s Privates 10-19 Manzi: Childhood of Cesar Chavez 17 NBC’s Last Comic Standing Tour 18 Margaret Cho thru 19 Cinderella: A Ragtime Musical 19 Cheaper To Keep Her 24 Howie Mandel 24-25 Kevin Nealon 25 Daniel Tosh thru 26 Lend Me A Tenor

LOCATION

Mesa Arts Ctr. Phoenix Symphony Nearly Naked Theatre Phoenix Theatre Phoenix Theatre Teatro Bravo!

Mesa Arts Ctr. Dodge Theatre Desert Stages Theatre Dodge Theatre Chandler Ctr. for the Arts Tempe Improv Dodge Theatre AZ B’way Theatre

PHONE 480-644-6500 602-405-1999 602-251-2151 602-254-2151 602-254-2151 602-258-1800 480-644-6500 602-379-4888 480-483-1664 602-379-4888 480-782-2680 480-921-9877 602-379-2888 623-776-8400

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Movie Previews Last month, I waxed poetic about the artistic potential of Eat, Pray, Love because I foolishly assumed that combining Elizabeth Gilbert’s best-selling novel with the star appeal of Julia Roberts would have struck cinematic gold. I was wrong. Boy, was I ever wrong! In fact, it has been a very long time indeed since I’ve gone to a movie and promptly made a beeline to the nearest dive bar to down seventeen shots of Southern Comfort, but that’s what Eat, Pray, Love did to me – it made me drink, pass out, suppress.

That’s the rub about doing movie previews.

If the section title didn’t clue you in, let me explain: your guess on the potential of these films is as good as mine – I’ve not seen them either. At least, not by the time this article goes to print. All I’m doing is digging through my triviawinning/date-losing knowledge of film and coming up with an educated guess. Given that I’m human, I’m prone to err. Toss in a very biased love (or hate) of a particular variable in the film du jour and I’m probably a lot more likely to err. So now that you know, I’d like to apologize to every single reader (all three of you) if you took my terrible, terrible advice and saw Eat, Pray, Love.

If I hadn’t blown all my money on my post viewing bender, I’d personally refund you.

Going the Distance

Starring: Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Christina Applegate, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis

Let me kick this off by saying I like Drew Barrymore – a lot. I think she’s a cutie patootie, but I’m also well-aware of the fact that when it comes to her film choices, it’s hit or miss. Usually miss. In the latest RomCom staring Drew-Bar, Going the Distance, she stars as Erin, a San Franciscan, who meets Garrett (Long), while in New York for the summer. Hitting it off immediately but ever-cognizant of their home bases, they agree to have a no-strings-attached fling and go their separate ways come fall. Easier said than done; the two end up constantly communicating with one another and begin to realize that maybe their short story is really a novel. Jason Sudeikis (The Daily Show), Charlie Day (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), and Christina Applegate (Samantha Who?) co-star.

I’m Still Here

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix Casey Affleck, the legitimately talented Affleck brother, makes his directorial debut with this documentary film depicting one year in the life of Academy Award winning actor, Joaquin Phoenix. No doubt, you remember Phoenix’s bizarre appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno a few years back where he mubbled nonsensically through a Mountain Man’s beard and hid behind a pair of oversized sunglasses he most likely stole from one of the Olsen Twins. Or you’ll remember his unceremonious exit from cinema in order to pursue a music career – as a Hip-Hop artist. I’m Still Here follows Phoenix from the Fall of 2008 as he attempts to reinvent himself and does so in a remarkably touching way.

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Review Say Goodnight

Starring: Rob Benedict, Christopher Gessner, David Monahan, Aaron Paul One night, four guy friends are hanging out at their favorite hot-spot in their usual quest for willing ladies when the conversation turns to the most recent dating experiences of three of them, as relayed to their fourth member who happened to leave early the night that the others met the women in question.

Told in flashback, Say Goodnight, is an interesting glimpse into how three different men choose to handle the romantic opportunities that simultaneously fall into their laps. There’s your typical self-serving Jersey Shore housemate, Victor (Paul, Breaking Bad), who takes up with sexuallyuninhibited Crystal (Carly Pope); the commitmentphobic Mason (Gessner), who tentatively dates no muss, no fuss Angela (Smith Cho); and, mildly neurotic nerd Leroy (Benedict) who embarks on a long-term relationship with talented spitfire, Lily (Shannon Lucio).

As each story unfolds, it is interesting to note the manner in which each man handles his respective relationship, and how he chooses to view it in hindsight.

Patrik Age 1.5

Starring: Gustaf Skarsgard, Torkel Petersson, Thomas Ljungman In this beautiful Swedish film, Goran (Skarsgard) and Sven (Petersson), are a married gay couple seeking to expand their family. Shortly after moving into their idyllic suburban home, they make arrangements to adopt an eighteen-month-old boy named Patrik. Ecstatic about this new addition to their unique home (Sven has a 16 year-old daughter from his previous marriage), they quickly learn that Patrik is not a teething 1.5 year-old – he’s a 15-yearold whose cut his teeth doing time. The stress, confusion, and frustration Goran and Sven go through to both clarify and rectify the situation only serve to drive a wedge between them. In Sven’s absence, Goran allows Patrik to stay on until he can find a new “ordinary” family. It is then the most unexpected happens – Goran and Patrik develop a loving connection when they help each other find that which they’ve always been seeking – family and acceptance.

I cannot even begin to articulate just how lovely this film was – from beginning to end, it’s a wonderful foreign-language film that resonated deeply with me. Like the blue cake that Goran, a doctor, shares with his staff during tea, it is what I love about film – little slices of life fraught with meaning; tiny gestures filled with humanity; and, tender moments ripe with kindness, compassion, and beauty. I strongly recommend everyone see this film – you will be better for it.

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Macayo’s Mexican Restaurant

A Valley Tradition in the Heart of our Community

I

t’s easy to discard a Valley staple as being as an also-ran, part of the landscape, or old hat. Or old sombrero, in this case. Veteran Mexican food restaurant Macayo’s dot the Mexican dining landscape in Arizona. There’s eleven here in the Valley, two in Tucson. one in Prescott, and even four Nevada.

It might seem trite, but Macayo’s can still surprise.

Macayo’s began way back in 1946 in a tiny shop on McDowell Road. The present-day kitschy Mayan-esque “pryramid” on Central Avenue south of Indian School Road has been the flagship store since 1952.

Pick from three different chimichanga dinners: huge, – and I mean huge – crispy flour tortillas filled with variations of tender shredded beef, savory chicken or carnitas, and smothered with choice sauces. Make ‘em into a “grande” dinner, adding rice, refried beans, sauce and guacamole for less than $3 more.

Macayo’s also offers traditional grilled taco, fish taco, and even salmon tacos, if that’s what you crave. Craving fajitas? They’ve got you covered with three different kinds: chicken, steak or shrimp, with combinations of grilled onions, green chiles, onions, cheeses, mushrooms,

The menu is exactly what you’d expect: straightforward, honest, Mexican “comfort” food, by and large. But don’t sell Macayo’s short: there are a few exciting spins on old favorites, and there’s something that’s bound to please at a price everyone can afford.

Got a hankering for a burro?

And I don’t mean of the “donkey” variety. They’ve got four varieties to choose from, including grilled carne asada, shredded beef, shredded chicken, ground beef, or “California” style, with no meat, but other goodies. All around the $10 mark.

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sauces and more.

In addition to house specialties, like Steak Picado, Chicken Poblano, Carnitas and more – and not even topping the $13 mark – you can even choose from three different enchilada dinners, or “Mex ‘n’ Match,” where you can create practically anything you want, pairing it with a variety of specialty creations and sides. Get a little, or a lot. But guaranteed, you’ll be filled up.

These choices are run from $6.99 to $10.99. Cheap, cheap, cheap! But good, good, good!

So loosen up! Remember the good

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times when you came to Macayo’s with Mom and Dad! It’s kind of a trip down Memory Lane, especially in the old location, but it’s still just as fun! And, yes, you can still get one of those kooky Margaritas and drink out of the sombrero of the ceramic Señor or Señorita. And take it home for a souvenir.

Find Macayo’s near you. For locations, hours and phone numbers visit www.Macayo.com

New Expanded Restaurant Guide!

Coming in October!

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Thompson Image Ad IO#B93FEB.pdf

3/24/10

1:47:51 PM

THOMPSON IMAGE Photography Headshots Portraits Editorial Lifestyle Families Children Events Interiors Architectural

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Contact Don Thompson at 602-418-2262 dthompson@thompsonimage.com

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Mustache ride

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Photos by Deon Brown

www.IONAZ.com

September 2010 55

Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100 “A Cause may be inconvenient, but it’s magnificent. It’s like champagne or high heels, and you have to be prepared to suffer for it.”

Wonderful 100 is still the same as it was last year: 100 people raising $100 each.

This year Seville’s “Wonderful 100” team may exceed the century mark.

Registration is not limited.

And if anybody should know about a Cause, champagne and high heels, it’s our own veteran of footlights and fame, the magnificent Miss Barbra Seville.

But it was Barbra’s creator, Richard Stevens, who decided that he – and his creation Barbra – could lend their name, clout, know-how, a little moxie along with some shoe leather and help raise dearly needed funds for AIDS Walk Phoenix, an Aunt Rita’s Foundation event, once it was resurrected last year again after several years on hiatus. That’s why “Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100” was created. The AIDS Walk Phoenix is a magnificent Cause. And if you don’t mind a brisk walk just over three miles you can be part of a worthwhile event benefitting many.

This year, ArizonaDrag.com, Apollo’s Lounge, Charlie’s Phoenix, Forbidden Nightclub and ION Arizona magazine are sponsoring Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100. Not only that, Barbra’s enlisted a team of dedicated volunteers who are sharing their time and gifts to help make Seville’s Wonderful 100 – in her words – “Bigger. Blonder. And more Bodacious than ever!” ArizonaDrag. com’s drag queen kingpin, Edward Castro, Forbidden and Switch’s Dusty Brinsmade – always quick to volunteer for a Cause, Nathan Rhoton, the “Can Do” man, the enthusiastic, handsome Alfredo Guardio and others are all helping with Seville’s juggernaut walking team.

“Last year was fantastic,” Richard said.

“People kept asking me, ‘Are you going to do it again?’”

Seville’s premiere fundraising team raised more than $10,000 in 2009.

But the foundation for Barbra’s September 2010

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to me. People care that much. You don’t have to raise $1,200. I’ve even had people raise five or ten dollars because that was all some could afford.”

“What’s really remarkable are the people who’ve contributed their talent. They’ve picked up the ball and volunteered, saying, ‘I can do that!’” Richard said. “I’m really excited about working with new people. Seeing people getting excited about it, and getting their friends excited about AIDS Walk Phoenix, too. It’s a beautiful day to be out; young, old, Gay, Straight – all walking for those who can’t. It really shows the best of Phoenix.”

Kirk Baxter said, “Barbara Seville sets the bar for AIDS Walk with her chutzpah and community service. Her fun, money-raising strategies embody the spirit of giving in addition to her own flair. Aunt Rita’s Foundation and the agencies we serve love her.”

Last year Charlie’s Phoenix helped Seville’s team start the day with a hot breakfast presented at the club. Richard remembers, “My favorite part of the day happened early in the morning. I was tired; I did a show the night before.

But at 6:50 in the morning I arrived at the parking lot at Charlie’s, and there were already people waiting. It was so sweet. I had to walk away and just have a private ‘moment.’ All these people – ready to walk. People were tired, people were hungover. People who had worked all night still got up that morning and made it there. It’s really overwhelming 58

www.IONAZ.com September 2010

If you’ve got a pooch, you can register your pet to walk with PAWS for the Cause at the same time. Seville’s Wonderful 100 team of volunteers will be at BS West on Sunday afternoon, September 12 for a unique registration event: It’s Yappy Hour from 2-4 p.m.

Pack up your pup and register over a mug o’ suds. Or meet her team at Switch on Thursday, September 29 from 7-9 p.m. and sign up.

Would you like to be part of the AIDS Walk Phoenix 2010 and join Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100? It’s easy! Click on to www.AIDSwalkPhoenix.org to register, or to sponsor Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100, Team Number T20303.

“It’s out of my hands,” said Richard.

“It’s everybody walking.” Sounds like a magnificent Cause, doesn’t it? Thanks to Barbra Seville and her Wonderful 100, it is.

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MORE PICTURES AT IONA Z.COM

Lady g PArty

Photos by Deon Brown 60

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The Leathermen

PHOENIX

Photos by Kevin Bushaw

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Photography by Jerry O’Conner Art Direction and Design by Kevin Bushaw Special Thanks to Justin at Roscoe’s, Jared Garduno, & The Radisson City Center

www.IONAZ.com September 2010

Hellraisers Flag Football League Saturdays at Colter Park at West Colter St. and 7th Ave. Pictured Players: Scott Bowerman, Jared Garduno, Oz Barron, Matt Strand, & Matt Vaughn. www.phoenixflagfootball.com

Upcoming Event - Gay Bowl X The Phoenix Hellraisers Flag Football League is proud to be the host of Gay Bowl XÂ set to take place October 6th-11th, 2010.

Team and Individual Registration is currently taking place. www.gaybowlx.com

Phoenix Sunfish Masters Swim Team Monday - 6:30 - 8:00 pm ASU SRC Tuesday - 6:30-8:00 pm Christown YMCA Thursday - 6:30-8:00 pm South Mountain YMCA Saturday - 4:30-6:00 pm ASU SRC www.phxsunfish.org Featured Swimmers: Aliza Rain, Ronald Conner, Jacob Palmer & David Decker September 2010

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Cactus Cities Softball League: Open Play just began. But it’s not too late to join in! Members may join teams at any time during the Fall Season. Fall Season is from September 12, 2010 - December 12, 2010 Games are on Sundays at Cesar Chavez (35th Ave. and Baseline) www.cactuscities.com Featured Players: Heber Hernandez, Gabe Turner, Michael Garcia, Joe Sepulveda, Jeremy Robb, Kevin Fordell of Roscoe’s Toros and Trojans.

Phoenix Tennis Alliance $5.00 Drop-In Tennis Fridays & Sundays 7:00-9:00pm Phoenix Tennis Center 6330 N. 21st Ave., Phoenix www.phoenixtennisalliance.com Featured Player: Alan East

AZ Gay Volleyball (Sand VolleyBall) Next Open Play is September 13th and 20th Fall League Begins September 27th 6-Player Mondays at Steele Park & Radisson City Center 6:00-10:00 pm 4-Person Tuesdays at Steele Park 6:00-10:00 pm www.AZGV.org Featured Players: Ryan Harrington, Eric Foster, Frankie Rojas, Theron Olivar & Eric Reyes 72

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Desert Volleyball Alliance (Court Volleyball) $5 Open Court Saturdays Sports Club at City Square 4000 North Central Avenue at 2nd Ave & Indianola in Phoenix B Division: 10:30-1:00 pm A Division: 1:00pm-3:30 pm www.desertvolleyballalliance.org Upcoming Event- NAGVA Tournament Coming February 2011

Phoenix Flamingos Kickball League “The bases may not be loaded, but we are!�

Plays Sundays at Steele Park at 10:00 am (Formerly at Colter Park) Open Play date is October 10th Season Runs October 17th December 5th www.flamingoskickball.webs.com Featured Player: Matthew Porter

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Phoenix Storm Rugby Fall New Player Orientation September 25th Practices every Tuesday and Thursday 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm. as well as select Saturdays at Longview Elementary School 1209 E. Indian School Rd. Phoenix www.phoenixstorm.org

Phoenix Unified Gay Bowling Alliance Get a lucky strike and pick up a spare at one of the many bowling leagues around the Valley! Visit www.pugba.prit.net

AZ Frontrunners Weekly walking and running activities abound in The Phoenix Metro Area! Join the group and make it a social event! azfrontrunners.com Upcoming Event - AIDS Walk www.aidswalkphoenix.org

Arizona Roller Derby You may not find the Kansas City Bomber, but you will run into quite a few badass bombshells! You might even catch a rowdy, rollicking fight or two. www.azrollerderby.com September 2010

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Vol. 4, Issue 5

SEPTEMBER 2010

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

“F” is for Foreclosure.

Bad Economy hits Sesame Street.

OUTRAGEOUS!

SESAME STREET, New York – After more than 40 years at the same address of 123 on a nondescript, urban, slightly decaying inner city street somewhere in the five boroughs of New York City, the economic downturn has hit Big Bird’s neighborhood.

Hard. H-A-R-D.

during filming.

Head Provisions Company, a producer of fine delicatessen meats and other products.

The object of her affection, Sesame Street mascot Kermit the Frog will work for the Discovery Channel during “Shark Week” as live bait

Longtime “roommates” Bert and Ernie

“This is indeed sad,” said a PBS executive.

“We realize two generations of kids have ‘grown up’ on Sesame Street. But it’s time to face reality. Sesame Street suffered from urban blight for years. The junkies, whores, and bums have moved in. Families are moving out. It’s time to redevelop this crappy neighborhood.”

landlord’s bank foreclosed on their building and are packing to move to San Francisco. Big Bird has plans to migrate to Florida and live in the Everglades in a government funded aviary for retarded birds. Grover may finish out his days at Bellevue Hospital, as he shows signs of being incapable of taking care of himself.

Miss Piggy received a job offer working as a spokesmodel for Boar’s

After Sesame Street is demolished, art directors from Disney and Pixar are contracted to create a theme park called, “The Sesame Street Experience,” which will duplicate Sesame Street, but with animatronics and high school drama club kids acting like the characters instead. “It’ll be more like Sesame Street than Sesame Street,” said one producer. “Except it won’t smell like urine or Big Bird shit.”

“This stinks,” said Oscar the Grouch.

They said that there’s going to be some kind of Federal Stimulus dollars that’s going to tear down the whole street and make way for Starbuck’s after Starbuck’s.”

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TOafter THE received their eviction notice theirTRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

OUTRAGEOUS!

GLBT Boycott Target.

Sales Plummet.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. – Hundreds of thousands of angry Gays across America have turned their backs on the venerated Temple of Target sinceRESEMBLANCE CEO Gregg ANY Steinhafel donated $150K to antiGay politician, Minnesota state representative Tom Emmer.

Cities Gay Pride Festival, too.

P.J. Emmenthal and her partner, Marge DeGroot also support the boycott of the popular bigbox department TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL store. “We buy Archer Farms peanuts and chips and lots of the Wine Cubes there. This really sucks, man.”

The aisles of Targets “Ooh, this burns are virtually ghost me up, girlfriend” towns without the said Bruce St. Gays shopping for Jacques, hairdresser. “Me and my partner, Mossimo.

Markuss, shop at ‘Le Tarzhay’ – as we like to call it – at least twice a week. I buy all of The GLBT community is rallying with my Evolve and Merona underwear there.TRUTH plansISonTRAGICALLY a massive march in ANY RESEMBLANCE TOTO THE ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE THEI TRUTH ISorganizing TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL wear it during the week and my pretentious front of the home of Justin Timberlake who 2x(ist) underwear on Friday and Saturday plans to launch a clothing line in Target this nights out, or to hot underwear party. We’re December. gonna get all Huffington Post on their asses!”

Meanwhile, the chicken community is also planning a boycott of “super” Targets, and Representative Emmer once supported plans on pulling tainted eggs from their chemical castration for sex offenders. shelves in a show of solidarity.

Conversely, Target has donated to the Twin

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL September 2010 www.IONAZ.com 85

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OUTRAGEOUS!

Paris vs. Lindsay:

“I’m worse than you!”

Hollywood Brats Battle It Out!

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

LOS ANGELES, catch up with Calif. – Too big bad girl Lohan, for People. Too who has more big for Google. jail time and Too big for even better mug shots Oprah. And that’s than she. She’s huge. In a overbeen “busted” sized tabloid, three times beyond TMZ, within the past ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL mega-clash of the year. Detained titans, socialite for marijuana heiress Paris at the World Hilton dukes it Cup, violated out E! Channel probation for style with child DUI and spent star turned ADD 22 days in jail. adult delinquent It’s bloodlust, Lindsay Lohan. and Paris wants to Who’ll win more damning publicity? The up the ante. And she has a porno tape under Parent Trap Brat or the No-Tell Hotel Heiress? her belt.

OUTRAGEOUS!

What happened with Hilton’s recent SNAFU Lohan, star of screen gems like Herbie Fully in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas. It ended up all Loaded has made a career of making every over the CNN, the internet, and every tabloid. day Freaky Friday. She’s been in jail, had ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE ISmandated TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL While her step great-grandmother Zsa Zsa TRUTH court rehab, car accidents, DUI, lost Gabor was on her deathbed, Paris allegedly passports, and rocked a SCRAM bracelet. played Craps with cocaine – but got caught. As police escorted Little Miss No Panties to the Paris is hoping for a huge 10 to 20 penitentiary “powder” room so she could apply lip balm, an payoff while Lindsay is calculating how to eight-ball of coke fell out of a cheap purse she make put herself on triple-secret-lifetime claimed wasn’t hers, although it was stuffed probation. with her credit cards, $1300 cash, and half a tab of Albuterol.

Agents and management are planning to market a 2011 mugshot-a-day calendar of the Sources report that Paris is on the fast track to two desperadoes.

OUTRAGEOUS!

www.IONAZ.comACCIDENTAL September 2010 ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY

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IONTUCSON

CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE 1

Ain’t Nobody’s Biz

2900 E. Broadway

(520) 318-4838

2

Colors

5305 E. Speedway

(520) 323-1840

3

Howl at the Moon

915 W. Prince Rd.

(520) 293-7339

4

IBT’s

616 N. 4th Ave.

(520) 882-3053

5

Venture-N

1239 N. 6th Ave.

(520) 882-8224

6

Woody’s

3710 N. Oracle Rd.

(520) 292-6702

ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING 1

Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park

445 S. Alvernon Way

(520) 881-4200

2

Embassy Suites

5335 E. Broadway Blvd.

(520) 745-2700

3

La Posada Lodge and Casitas

5900 N. Oracle Rd.

(520) 887-4800

4

Royal Elizabeth B&B

204 S. Scott Ave.

(877) 670-9022

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IONPHOENIX 1.

Amsterdam Amsterdam

718N. N.Central Central Ave. Phoenix (602)258-6122 258-6122 718 Ave.- Downtown - Downtown PHX (602)

2.

Apollo’s Apollo’s

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix 5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

3.

Bar 1

4.

NEW: Bliss / Rebar

901 N. 4th St. - Phoenix

(602) 795-1792

5.

BS West

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(480) 945-9028

6.

Bunkhouse Charlie’s

4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix 727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 200-9154 (602) 265-0224

7.

Cash Inn Cherry Bar

2140 Rd.Rd.- -Phoenix 1028E.E.McDowell Indian School Phoenix

(602) (602)244-9943 277-7729

8.

Cherry Lounge Charlie’s

Every starting 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe 727 W. Thursday Camelback Rd.January - Phoenix (602) 265-0224

9.

The Chute Men’s Club Cherry Bar

1440E. E Indian Rd.Rd. - Phoenix (602)277-7729 234-1654 1028 IndianSchool School - Phoenix (602)

Clarendon Hotel

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix

C

Bar 1

BS West

Bunkhouse Cash Inn

10. Club Sutra Club Vibe

3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

3702 N. 16th St. - Phoenix 7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix

3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 277-9373 (602) 277-9373 (602) 266-9001

(602) 266-9001 (480) 945-9028

(602) 200-9154 (602) 244-9943

(602) CLARENDON

(602) 955-9805 (602) 224-9977

11. Cruisin’ 7th Cruisin’ 7th

Cabaret 12. Dick’s

3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 274-DICK

13. FLEX Men’s Club

1517 S Black Canyon Hwy - Phoenix

(602) 271-9011

14. Forbidden Forbidden

6820 Ave.- -Scottsdale Scottsdale 6820E. E.5th 5th Ave.

forbiddenaz.com forbiddenaz.com

15. icepics Homme videobar

3108 E. Camelback McDowellRd. Rd. - Phoenix 138 W. - Phoenix

(602) (602)267-8707 266-0875

icepics videobar 16. Karamba

3108E. E.McDowell McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 1724 Rd. - Phoenix

(602)254-0231 267-8707 (602)

Incognito 17. Kobalt

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix 3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 955-9805 (602) 264-5307

Dick’s Cabaret The Door

Karamba

18. Nu Towne Kobalt

19. OZ OZ

3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

5002 E Van Buren St. - Phoenix‎ 3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 212-9888 (602) 212-9888

(602) 274-DICK

(480) 967-DOOR

(602) 254-0231

(602) 267-9959 (602) 264-5307

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix (602) 242-5114 1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 242-5114

20. Paradise Adult Boutique 130 W. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-5869

21. Plazma Pumphouse II

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix 4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477 (602) 275-3509

II 22. Pumphouse Retro Bar

4132 - Phoenix 3114E.E.McDowell Cactus Rd. Rd. - Phoenix

(602) (602)275-3509 493-0355

The Rock Cactus 23. Rainbow

4129 N. Ave.Creek - Phoenix 15615 N.7th Cave Rd. - Phoenix

(602)971-1086 248-8559 (602)

24.

4531N. N.7th 7th St. - Phoenix 4129 Ave. - Phoenix

(602)248-8559 285-0833 (602)

Plazma

Roscoe’s The Rock

Rainbow Cactus 25. Roscoe’s Velocity

26. Velocity Wild Card

27. Z Girl Club Z Girl Club

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler

4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix 4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477

(602) 867-2463

(602) 285-0833 (602) 956-2885

(602) 956-2885 (480) 857-3088

(602) 265-3233 (602) 265-3233

September 2010 www.IONAZ.com 91

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Amsterdam

Amsterdam’s Signature Night Happy Hour 4-7pm

Dance - No Cover! $3 Smirnoff cocktails until Mid.

Arts, Industry & ION VIP Night 1/2 price drinks *KARAOKE*

Apollo’s

Frat Party 9pm 50¢ domestic drafts

$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p Karaoke 9pm

$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p Male Strippers 10:30pm

Bar 1

Friday Happy Hour 4-7p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Saturday $2 dom bottle 6-9p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$2 Brown Bagged Beer 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Happy Hour 2-4-1 well $5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer

$3 champagne cocktails $10 mimosas pitch.-$4 Marys

3-7pm: $10 buckets of beer $5 Bliss Box

BS West

FUBAR with Elements 9:45p $5 you call it drink & $3 beers

2-4-1 everything all night Go-go dancers - A new tradition

Karaoke 9pm $1 Miller Lite drafts

Charlie’s

$3 pitchers/2-4-1 well/dom 2-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

$3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 12-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

Volleyball 4-7pm, NEW 3-4-1 $3 Long Islands, $3 pitchers

Cherry Bar

2-4-1 You Call It! 5pm - close

2-4-1 You Call It! 5pm - close

NFL Tailgate Brunch 10a-2p $5 Kill-a-Keg w/ Lady Christian

Dick’s Cabaret

2-4-1 VIP Dances 7pm ‘til 9pm

Off the Hook Tons of Prizes & Giveaways

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances & VIP Wristbands

$3 Pomegranate Presses

$3 Bottle Beer & Tequila Shots

$3 Brunch Drinks 50% off bottles of wine

Forbidden

Crotch Rockitt

The Barbra Seville Show DJ Dancing

Sports Beer Bust Food specials Happy Hour

icepics

MEAT - Hot Go Go Dancers $2.50 dom / $3 well / $4 Lg Isl.

80s Happy Hour The Follies 10pm

Show Tunes - Happy Hour 2pm-8pm

The Leathermen

NEW: Roscoe’s 10:00p- 1:00a

Cruisin’ 7th | Plazma 4:30p - 7:00p | 10:30p - 1:30p

Karamba

Fridays $4 Pitchers

Saturdays $4 Pitchers

Sundays with Galilea $3 pitchers

R Maizie’s

Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Happy Hour Brunch 9a-2p 3-6pm Everyday

Brunch All Day

R Mi Patio

Fridays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Saturdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Sundays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

R My Florist Cafe

Fridays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Saturdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Sundays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

R Roscoe’s*

NEW: The Leathermen!

Great Happy Hour

All Star Grill Opens at 11am

NFL Sunday Party $8 Long Island Pitchers

R Switch

Fridays Open from 11am-Midnight

Saturday Open from 11am-Midnight

Sundays Open from 11am-Midnight

R Ticoz

Fridays Open from 11am-Midnight

Saturday $1 brunch drinks Open from 11am-Midnight

Sundays $1 brunch drinks Open from 11am-Midnight

R NEW! Bliss / Rebar

R FEZ

R

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FULL MENU

FRIDAY

* LIMITED MENU/TIMES

www.IONAZ.com September 2010

The Sexy Lea

FREE PROJECT HARD HAT CONDOMS

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

Martinis & Manicures $5 Martinis

MONDAY

Arts, Industry & ION VIP Night 1/2 price drinks

College Night 1/2 price drinks with student ID

Divas Live! $3 Diva Shots during the show

Drag Bingo 2 for 1 U Call-It Open-Close

‘Tini Tuesdays 2-4-1 Call Martinis Open-Close

Happy Hour All day / All night

Karaoke 9:30pm

Monday $1 Bud Lt. Drft 4-cl.

10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

KAROKE $2.50 wel, dom 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$1 OFF in your undies/leather 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Thursday 2-4-1 U Call It 10a- cl 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Happy Hour 2-4-1 well $5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer

Happy Hour 2-4-1 well $5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer

2-4-1 Everything 9pl-close (excludes shots)

Happy Hour 2-4-1 well $5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer

W.H.O.R.E. Service Industry $2 dom $3 well $4 bombers

Community Benefit/Fundraiser Book you event @ bswest.com

2-4-1 All Day and All Night A valley tradion!

Karaoke 9pm $2 drafts

Underwear Party 8-cl 1/2 price 2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-2 well/dom 2-8pm $3 pitch. 2-4-1 well/dom 8p-Close 2-4-1 cocktails/dom

2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 8p-close $3 Pinnacle

2-4-1 All Day! Cocktails and beer

Happy Hour 3-8pm Karaoke 9p-close

Happy Hour 3-8pm Reverse Happy Hour 11pm-cl

2-4-1 You Call It! ALL DAY / ALL NIGHT

Happy Hour 3-8pm $5 Martinis 8pm-close

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances, VIP Wristbands

Amateur Night Starts at 10pm

S.I.N. Bring Your Dancer ID and get VIP Pricing

Hot Studs All Night Long $5.00 Off with VIP Keychain

$3 Burgers $3 Margaritas

‘tini Tuesdays $3 Martinis

$20 Any Bottle of Wine and small plate

$3 G Spots

Closed Mondays Open Tuesday-Sunday 4p-2a

Happy Hour 3-7pm Karaoke w/ Brad 9pm

Happy Hour 3-7pm Showroom Trivia 7pm

Inferno Party 18+ Hotspot

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL 2-4-1 beer/well during game!

2-4-1 Wells & Beers All day and night

Karaoke 9pm-close

2-4-1 in undies beer/well 9p-cl $3 Three Olives Thursdays

athermen perform at Roscoe’s, Cruisin’ 7th and Plazma!

Cruisin’ 7th 10:30p - 12:30p

Closed

Tuesday with Grecias $2 Drinks All Night

$3 Bistro Burgers $10.00 off of all Bottled Wines

Wednesday BBQ Short Ribs Tuesday Night Fish & Chips Selected Beers $3 Starts @ 5pm Selected Beers $3 Starts @ 5pm

Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Mondays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Tuesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Wednesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Thursdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Mondays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Tuesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Wednesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Thursdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Monday Pool Tournament

2 for Tuesdays 2-4-1 drinks all day

Wednesday All Day Happy Hour

Thursdays 2-4-1 7pm

Mondays Open from 11am-Midnight

Tuesdays Open from 11am-Midnight

Wednesdays Open from 11am-Midnight

Thursdays Open from 11am-Midnight

Mondays Open from 11am-Midnight

Tuesdays 11am-Midnight

Wednesdays 11am-Midnight

Thursdays 11am-Midnight

Wednesdays with Diamond $2 Drinks All Night

Thursdays with Ruby & Tyra $2 drinks all night

ION ARIZONA September 2010

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by Addison DeWitt

As summer winds down I’m ear to the ground, and eye at the keyhole – that’s keyhole – as I cover the waterfront. Although the waterfront at Tempe Town Lake is at a low ebb.

But I did visit the dried up banks of the Lake when I went to the Marquee Theatre to see American Idol alum Adam Lambert (who was never, ever a stripper, as far as I know) perform in all of his eyeliner glory. The audience was a combination of screaming, weeping ‘Tweens, screaming, weeping, overweight, middleaged housewives and screaming, weeping, but nattily bedecked and bedazzled Gay boys – all goofy for Glambert.

Kevin Axx, DDS. Kevin’s an expert in Implantology. And, honey, I know a good implant when I get one, – I mean see one – if you know what I mean. I’m tempted to schedule a series of unnecessary root canals with Dr. Axx soon, just so I can scream, “Christina! Bring me Dr. Axx!” * I also spotted the fiducially responsible David Mendoza, bank manager for Comerica Bank, FDIC as well as NOT&C (that’s National Organization of Tattletales & Commentators.

Another highly respected syndicate of which I am the founder. And sole member.) There’s just something about David that whenever I see him I get all hot and bothered thinking about his interest compounding. Daily. How I’d love to grab hold of that roll of silver dollars in his pocket. I’d give David the key to my Safe Deposit Box anytime.

America’s Dreamiest Just before the Optometrist and Primary Elections, a member of the while dining at the A.O.A., as well as fabulous My Florist recognized by the Café, I met the very Doctor!

Doctor!

Dave world renowned, capable Democratic Thomas & Kevin Axx accredited ASCWSK Attorney General nominee (Agency of Society Felecia Rotellini drumming Columnists Who Should up votes. She exhorted the Know. A distinguished community crowd to vote, promising to “put I just now founded) Dr. Dave Thomas an end to lifetime career politicians.” who can whisper sweet nothings about While running for the vacated seat of a Macular Degenerations in my ear anytime. lifetime career politician (Terry Goddard) The good doctor arrived with Amsterdam’s and surrounded by a few lifetime career best damn bartender, Josh Zitting. politicians. Oopsies! It’s okay, honey. I put my foot in other people’s mouths all the time. I It’s sports season! Basketball, Volleyball, told her, “Felecia, honey, I just love Rotellini Football, Softball ... I just love anything to pasta!” She gets my vote! do with balls, really! Especially Meatballs.

Raising funds for BS West’s team at the Here’s an award for Kiki Vermont to check club one Saturday night included America’s off of her Bucket List: she’s the Party Most Gorgeous & Board Eligible Endodontist, certified, licensed and approved by the * a clever, campy reference to cult classic AANSC (American Association of Nosey Mommie Dearest, a 1981 film about screen Society Columnists. Another prestigious legend Joan Crawford. Very popular with the organization just now founded by me.), Dr. Gays.

September 2010

www.IONAZ.com 95

by Addison DeWitt

Penguin of the Month! Kiki recently hosted the Lady G After Party where RuPaul’s Drag Race star Jessica Wild rocked the place Puerto Rico style. Kiki will be touring Texas and Puerto Rico with Jessica soon. Plus, our freaky little Kiki just celebrated her birthday where she was roasted, toasted and broasted by her “fellow” ladyboy drag queens. And, yes, I hear that she and Mya McKenzie high-society airkissed and made nice-nice. At last! They’ll be performing together soon. And a little bird tells me that Kiki’s got

a “promise” from her ohso-handsome beau, Josh. Ain’t love grand?

Love. Bah! I think I’ll make an appointment to discuss my eyeballs’ rods and cones with Dr. Thomas, get some quality post-traumatic dental micro-suturing from Dr. Axx discuss amortization rates with David Mendoza. The fun never ends here, folks!

Write to Addison at RumorHound@aol.com

22nd Anniversary

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Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

Economy and thrift are not your greatest virtues. Watch your spendthrift ways! Clip coupons, hit the all-u-can-eat Chinese Buffets, drink at Happy Hours only, and go to Dick’s Cabaret for two-fer table dances.

There’s a happy medium somewhere.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

When one door closes, another one opens.

Make sure it’s not a trapdoor that someone opens for you. There’s another way to get in.

Take the stairs. Not only is it a good cardio workout, you’ll be be rewarded. And your legs will look fabulous!

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Look, but don’t touch. Keep your eyes open and your hands to yourself for once. You’ll discover that your powers of observation are more apparent and you’ll see things in a whole new light.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

It’s all about attitude for you this month.

Pretend you’re an egg! Focus, or you’ll end up scrambled. Rest, or you’ll feel fried. Stay open-minded or you’ll be hard-boiled. Keep your sunny side up! Or you may get recalled.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

You’ve been under pressure. Take some time to get your ya-yas out. Maybe it’s exercise.

Maybe it’s a day at the movies. Maybe it’s shopping. Or it may be something as easy as masturbating. Whatever it takes – do it. But not ‘til you go blind.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

It’s not always easy finding answers in one sentence. But if it’s your birthday, “The world is your oyster.” Open it to find your pearl!

Other Virgos will find the beauty in something others find ugly. Like Miley Cyrus. Only uglier.

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September 2010

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

Look up in the sky! No, a little to the left. You don’t see it? The cosmos are trying to show you something, but you need to concentrate.

For the birthday Libra expect a surprise.

It might be shooting star, or it could be inconspicuous. But it’s out there.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

You’ve remembered to fetch something that you once disregarded. Was it an old t-shirt? A book? Or maybe it was a friendship? Both of them fit and were once among your favorites.

They can still be.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

Did you start this month off on the wrong foot? Do you remember if it was the right or left? It doesn’t matter. But retrace your steps.

You’ll gain new perspective. Then go buy some new shoes for both feet! Why not?

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20 Someone out there thinks you’re the most fabulous person in the world. The whole, wide, world! Out of roughly 6,864,132,832 that’s a real accomplishment! You’re so special your face should be on a bumper sticker! Just remember that.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Life’s temptations and follies are and endless source of entertainment for you. You’ll be better off if you avoid these lures. Pitfalls will compromise your pride if you persist. Opt for a more virtuous path. You won’t be a saint, but it’s a start.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

Pay attention to those who are trying to get on your good side. They may not have good intentions. Easy to flatter, you fall for a compliment too easily. Be canny and careful.

But that top looks so cute on you! See? You fell for it again!

September 2010 www.IONAZ.com 99