ION Arizona #142

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DRAG SHOWS • MEN OF STRUT • GOGO BOYS UNDERWEAR NIGHT • SHOW TUNES • KARAOKE

Always something going on...

For the latest Events, Show Times, and Drink Specials visit

icepicsvideobar.com facebook.com/icepics

2-4-1 HAPPY HOUR

4:00-8:00pm EVERY DAY on almost EVERYTHING!

$4

MARTINIS 10:00AM8:00 PM

3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero .............................. jacktesorero@me.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ........................................ kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ....................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR Austin Head PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero ............................................... (602) 750-1164 Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ............ (520) 429-5905 ionazsales@me.com ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop ..................................................... (602) 301-8457 Photographers:

Fernando Hernandez Jerry O’Conner Don Thompson Danny Catt Scotty Kirby Devin Mitchell ABOUT THE COVER:

602-267-8707

3108 E. McDowell Rd. @ 31st St.

Rising pop star Mike Munich saves the day—and a hottie. Photographed exclusively for ION Arizona in West Hollywood, California

by Devin Mitchell of Devinography. com. See Mike perform at Splash Bash, Friday, April 5 at The Phoenix Place Hotel + Suites.

National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:

Wes Bergman Deon Brown Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly C. Edwards

Ted Kirby Albert Rivas Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez Barbra Seville

Published monthly by

1995-2013: 18 Years of Design and Creative Excellence

© 2013 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation.

Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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Just Jack ....................................... 14 CLUBS, EVENTS, & CELEBS Special Events & Listings ....... 24 Tabatha Coffey ........................... 28 Devinography’s Dance Crews ....... 36 Rhea Litré ........................................ 38 Pride Entertainment .................. 44 WATCH IT! MONTHLY COLUMNS Movie Previews ............................... 49 Television Reviews.......................... 51 New on DVD ..................................... 53 Concert Listings .............................. 55 “Yo DJ! What’s New?” Music ......... 57 DRAMA! Theatre Listings .............................. 61 Drag Highlights ............................... 63 Barbra’s B-List.............................. 65 DINING & RETAIL Dining Out ........................................ 73

CELEBRATE! Pride Program...................... 79 Prismatic Pride Awards .. 91 CALENDAR & MAPS Calendar................................... 102 Phoenix Map........................ 104 Tucson Map........................ 106 Bar Guide........................

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OUTRAGEOUS! Angry Protesters Find Time........... 115 Zooey’s School For Girls................ 117 Abel Boddy Comic Strip.................. 119 SMOKIN’ HOT Feast Your ION This......................... 122 Slings & Arrows .............................. 125 Horoscopes .................................... 129

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Welcome to the 365 Days of Pride

Phoenix Pride celebrates “10 Days of

Pride,” while I celebrate pride all year long. I have never been more proud of my country, my state, my community and, of course ION Arizona, than I am now.

Take pride in your country We live in exciting times. Never before have our president, corporate America, and a majority of Americans approve of Gay marriage, but here we are. The Supreme Court has two decisions to make soon that will change history. I’m confident they will, and we’ll win. I hope that the rulings in these cases are unanimous to show the world how wrong they’ve been.

Take pride in your Community Since starting ION, I’ve met some wonderful hard working, and driven people. From the charismatic Micheal Weakly at One ‘n’ Ten to Tom Simplot, our charming voice on the Phoenix City Council to Brandi Sokoloski from Phoenix Pride (and her spunky partner, Phoenix police officer Tambra Williams) to the late Rev. Charley Coppinger who ministered to our spiritual needs. There are so many great people working hard to make our community a better place.

Take pride in yourself Pride begins at home. I wasn’t always happy and successful. I was a sad, lonely, Gay kid.

I felt like I had no community, no support, and no future. Since moving here and starting ION Arizona, I feel like a new man with a new lease on life. I’ve never felt so at 14

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home with so many new friends: they are my new family.

Show Your Pride Kick off Phoenix Pride at the Tan United Splash Bash on Friday, April 5. Check out our sexy BS West and ION firemen dancing on an authentic fire engine at the conclusion of the parade. It’s gonna be hot! Stop by the ION booth for free swag and you just might meet our sexy cover model and Splash Bash entertainer Mike Munich. He can put out my fire any day!

This is one of our biggest issues ION Arizona of the year. In addition to the Phoenix Pride Program of events, we’re proud to present our sixth annual “Prismatic Pride Awards” where we recognize some of our community’s leaders and hardest workers. Everyone has something to bring to the table. We also have an interview with Bravo TV’s Tabatha Coffey, an out & proud celebrity.

Don’t miss the artistry of Devinography’s Dance Crew by the talented Devin Mitchell, either.

Come out with me and celebrate our country, our wonderful state and our great community! Enjoy this issue and use it as your guide to all the Gay friendly businesses and organizations in your community.

I hope to see you at Pride. If you see me, please stop and say, “Hi.” I love that!

Sincerely,

Jack M. Tesorero

BURNIN’ DOWN THE HOUSE

CLUBS | EVENTS | CELEBRITIES April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 15

THE BARBRA SEVILLE SHOW

MISS PHOENIX GAY PRIDE EDITION

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THE ROCK

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UNITY 2013 You won’t want to miss the number one party this Pride weekend! Come together for UNITY 2013. DJ Joe Gauthreaux and DJ Matt Consola lay down the hottest tracks all night long. Get ready for a special guest performance from Kat Deluna. This event benefits 1Voice Community Center.

Saturday, April 6, 9 p.m.-5 a.m. at The Pressroom, 441 W. Madison St. For info & tix go to DirtyBoyPoductions.com. Tix available at Tan United & Off Chute, Too.

Heel Party at Bar1 Forget all those squats and leg presses you’ve been doing at the gym. Wanna make your legs look really great? Put on a pair of high heels, boys! It’s time for the annual Heel Party at Bar1! Pull out those Ferragamo’s, Bandolino’s or Jimmy Choos! After a couple of martinis you won’t feel the pain. Remember: Please walk responsibly. We’ll see you on Saturday night, April 27. 3702 N. 16th St. Phoenix.

602-266-6001 Bar1Bar.com

Dining Out for Life This one-day event is international, bringing cities and communities together in the fight against HIV/AIDS. On Thursday, April 25 you can participate by patronizing your favorite restaurants or cafés who will be making a donation to the SW Center for HIV/AIDS from the proceeds. For more information and a list of participating restaurants visit DiningOutForLife.com/Phoenix. Help make a difference!

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Jell-O Wrestling Watch it wiggle! See it jiggle! Get ready for the 26th Anniversary Reno Gannon Memorial Jell-O Wrestling Extravaganza & Benefit Auction. One of Tucson’s greatest events is back! The Old Pueblo’s favorite GLBTQ citizens ‘rassle in the goop for Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation—SAAF. Enter the raffle to see Beyoncé in Vegas! Saturday, April 27 at The Slaughterhouse 1102 W. Grant Rd. Go to JelloWrestling.org or call 520-628-7223 for info.

Eight’s Check, Please!

Arizona Festival A Foodie festival! Sample chefs’ top dishes and discover the best restaurants from your favorite episodes of Check, Please! Arizona. Experience cuisine of over 30 independently owned restaurants featured on the show along with wine and beer. It happens Sunday, April 28 from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at CityScape, downtown Phoenix. For info & tix go to AZPBS.org/checkplease

APRIL 2013 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT LOCATION Sundays Dueling Pianos Amsterdam 5 Splash Bash Phoenix Place Hotel 5-6 Pride Weekend Parties Amsterdam 6-7 Phoenix Pride Festival Steele Park 6 Pornopalooza BS West 6 Unity Party The Press Room 6 Pride Party Karamba 7 Strut Happens BS West 12 Black ‘n’ Blue Ball Palazzo 12-14 Saguaro Cup Various Locations 14 Kevin’s Birthday Party OZ Bar 14 Mr. Rock Contest The Rock 17 Tiger Heat Oceans 7 18 Gong Karaoke w/ Phaedre Roscoe’s 19 Martinez Entertainment Karamba 19 GLSEN Day of Silence 21 The Thirst Games BS West 25 Dining Out for Life Valleywide 27 Chesworth For President Charlie’s 27 Superhero Party BS West 27 Heel Party Bar1 27 Jell-O Wrestling The Slaughterhouse 28 Eight’s Check Please! Arizona Festival CityScape MAY 3 The Pubes & Dr. Bones The Rock 3-5 Phx Metro Men’s Chorus Concerts 5 Barbra’s Salsa Challenge Karamba

CITY Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Tucson Phoenix

Phoenix Phx College Pho Phoenix

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A Wild Hair Tabatha Coffey

by Brown 28Deon www.IONAZ.com

April 2013

Takes Over ...

Under & Sideways

Since winning “Fan Favorite” on Bravo

TV’s hit “Shear Genius” in 2007, Tabatha Coffey has been operating as a precocious Pit Bull with a Pixie-cut when she sinks her teeth into failing salons, B&B’s and other businesses on the brink of disaster and saves them. This ferocious go-to-gal only acts intimidating; she’s emerged as an inspirational coach for small businesses, stylists and for the GLBT community as a Goddess of Success.

She tells her fascinating life story about being mentored as a child by transsexual “aunties” in her parents’ strip club in Australia and more in her memoir, It’s Not Really About the Hair (HarperCollins, 2011).

Tabatha has reclaimed the word “BITCH” transforming it to fit the person she is: Brave, Intelligent, Tenacious, Creative, and Honest. She opened up to ION about herself, hair and dreams of world domination.

ION: Tell us a little about the new season. Any surprises?

Tabatha Coffey: There’s always surprises.

Every place I go, there’s a different set of problems and a different set of personalities. I’m surprised at peoples behavior, surprised how things are sometimes crumbling around them and they’re unable to get it together. That’s the thing I love about the show. Not just being able to help people, but every experience

is different. Every business is different.

Every problem is different.

ION: You’ve toured the world. Who has the best hair and worst hair?

TC: Once I would’ve probably said that Europeans have the best hair, just because they have more edge and willing to take more risks and do things that are different. They don’t have the same aesthetics as in America or Australia where hair is thought of as being “attractive” or “beautiful.” With social media, the internet and television that aesthetic has changed.

Countries don’t stand out the way they used to.

The world is so much smaller.

The worst is just when people just do too much; try to be someone that they’re not— their favorite celebrity or fashion magazine.

All around the world someone is guilty of that.

Too much just becomes too much. Coloring your hair, relaxing your hair, adding extensions to your hair, flatironing your hair—it becomes an all-day thing. Realize what your limitations are.

What really works for your hair; not trying to overdo everything.

ION: Which celebrities would you choose for a hair makeover?

TC: (Laughs) That’s really hard! And I just came off award season! The names should just come rolling off my tongue, I criticized everyone enough, didn’t I? I think April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 29

... Nicole Kidman. Not necessarily that I think it’s bad—but I would love to get my hands on her hair. Charlize Theron; not because anybody could improve on her. I would just love to do her hair.

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about who I would makeover. I’ve got celebrity clients and regular clients; it’s really about making that individual sitting in my chair feel the best that they can feel and loving the way they look.

ION: What do you do when you’re not “Taking Over”?

TC: I’m working hard! I speak to business owners how they can grow— their business and as individuals. Business, problems, evolving, solving those problems and how to be a better leader.

I’m coming to speak in Arizona in June. I also have a new wig line I’m very excited about.

ION: You also make wigs for children affected by cancer treatments.

TC: I have. It’s [hair loss] a problem for anyone— especially children. When they’re trying to go to school and going though chemo, treatment. They’re kids trying to fit in, go back to their friends and classes and be “normal” again, without having the stigma of wearing a bandana or being bald. It helps them feel like a kid again.

ION: You’re such a strong personality.

Was there a specific time when you “became” Tabatha we know and love— and are a little afraid of?

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TC: (Laughs) I’ve always been Tabatha. It’s an evolution, as it is with everyone; you grow, you change, you become comfortable in your own skin. From a very young age I’ve always been ‘me.’ I’ve always dressed how I wanted to dress—whether people liked it or not—said what I wanted to say without processing it or thinking about it by being honest and opinionated.

ION: Hair stylists idolize you. Who do you idolize?

TC: Vidal Sassoon was a huge influence; an amazing man and someone I’ve always adored. Personally, the biggest influence in my life and the person I look up to is my mother. She’s a very strong woman and helped me to be a strong woman and allowed me to be myself and respected me for that.

ION: You’re an inspiration due to your success, especially to the GLBT community.

TC: I’m very humbled by that. For the younger kids I’d like to say that if you’re going through a hard time that it does get better. It’s okay to be who you are and be true to yourself. It’s a great thing. It’s tough when you’re coming out and discovering who you are. There are lot of people who are “out” and people the youth can look up to and say, “You know what? It’s okay to be who I am. I can still be respectful, I can still be valued, I can still be my own person.”

ION: Tell us something about yourself people might not know.

TC: I’m really nice! (Laughs) I love to cook! That’s one of my passions! It’s incredibly relaxing. If I’m really stressed out and have a lot going on it’s one of my favorite things to do. Lock myself in the

kitchen for a few hours and cook and cook and cook.

ION: Do you wear black when you cook?

TC: Of course I do! I wear black all the time!

Although I did try on a red dress yesterday.

ION: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

TC: I’d be “Dominatrix of the World,” are you kidding? With a black, fabulous, corseted superhero outfit with a whip and thigh-high, leather boots with a sixinch heel. I’ve thought about that too much! I didn’t even miss a beat on that!

Tabatha Coffey cracks the whip when she returns, putting businesses— and people—back on track with her entrepreneurial expertise and wisdom when the new season of Bravo Media’s “Tabatha Takes Over” premieres Thursday, April 4 at 10 p.m. PST on channel 60 (1060 hi def) on COX. Tabatha takes over Arizona on a speaking tour this summer when she stops in the Valley. Check TabathaCoffey. com or her twitter page @ TabathaCoffey for details about tickets, location and date.

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Storming the

Pride Festival Stage

devinography's

best dance crews

by Deon Brown photos

by Devin MitchellApril 2013 36 www.IONAZ.com

T he creative force behind Devinography Dance Crews is Devin Mitchell.

Their showstopping performances are a crowd favorite at Rainbows Festival.

Mitchell works for hours with his dancers carefully choreographing every step.

The relationship Devinography Dance Crews share with their audience is natural.

“The dance community and the Gay community are intertwined; I’ve worked for years to get my show to this level,” said Devin.

Dancing is second-nature to Devin and as a dancer he’s a very active part of the corps.

“The performances by Devinography Dance Crews is a celebration of urban hip-hop choreography,” Devin said.

Don’t miss Devinography Dance Crews performing on the Festival Main Stage on Saturday, April 6, 5-7 p.m.

All photos from this feature are produced by Devin Mitchell. Pictured from Left to Right is Devin Mitchell, then Robbie Fields from “No Limits Crew”, and Jay-R Rangel of “H2M Crew.”

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Rhea Litré

WeHo Ho’-stess Heats Up Pride Stage

by Deon Brown photo by Joey James 38

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rom the legendary clubs of West Hollywood in the Land of Fruits, Nuts and Vegetables, performance artist, drag queen and International Hostess Rhea Litré comes roaring onto the Main Stage for Phoenix Pride. She shares with ION just how “fierce” she is.

ION: Tell us a little about Joshua Miller, the man behind Rhea Litré?

Rhea Litré: I moved to LA from San Diego 11 years ago to audition for the second season of American Idol and never looked back. Currently, I’m a journalist and international traveling entertainer who is a Scorpio and loves long walks in the bath house. My main passion is music.

ION: How long have you been performing as Rhea Litré & how was she created?

RL: I dabbled in drag for fun about 2005, but didn’t really dive into it until 2009. It’s definitely been a road of transformation; I didn’t really feel comfortable as an artist until maybe 2010; I needed to pick the mic back up and sing. My good friend Detox brought me in to audition for Tranzkuntinental, a drag rock band. I covered kick-ass metal, like Led Zeppelin, Guns and Roses and Journey. The show re-inspired me. It made me want to show the world what I could do.

ION: What’s the best part about performing as Rhea Litré?

RL: Getting go-go boys! No, for real—the amount of hot, hung, uncut penis I get is unreal! (Laughs) I just got out of an onagain/off-again three-year relationship. So line those bitches up! Foreskin to the front!

ION: What makes Rhea Litré so damn fierce?

RL: I think people relate to me. I put out a lot ... I mean, put out a lot of love. I really do this for the entertainment. I love being on stage. I love making people happy. I love to sing. I want to have an impact on peoples’ lives and make a point. If I have a couple babies along the way, so be it!

ION: What’s Rhea’s “signature” performing talent?

RL: This bitch can fucking sing! Anyone can lip-sync and dance around the stage, but I’ll give you hi-energy, show-stopping vocals that will make you wanna take yo’ mamma out to see her perform, ya hear?

ION: What would you like people to know about Rhea Litré?

RL: Rhea loves to drink. She loves to party. She loves a good “deathdrop.”

(Thanks for the lessons, Shangela!)

ION: What will you be bringing to the Festival Stage with Devinography’s Dance Crews? Any special treats?

RL: I’ll be co-ho’-sting! I’m a fan of Hip Hop and dancing ... who knows? I might show y’all a combo or two! I can’t wait!

Hey, bitches! See Rhea Litré in her Arizona debut hosting and performing with Devin Mitchell with his dance troupe at the Phoenix Pride Festival, Saturday, April 6 on the Main Stage 5:30-7 p.m.

Follow her on Twitter @RheaLitre and on Facebook.

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SATURDAY NIGHT POKER

OZ BAR

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Mike Munich Unstoppable entertainer Mike Munich stops— at the Tan United Splash Bash presented by ION Arizona, that is! This super-sexy powerhouse of talent dances and sings at this year’s hottest party of the Spring. Mike’s dancefloor scorching hits like “Beat the Beat” and “If We Do It” highlight this year’s event. It all happens on Friday, April 5 from noon-8 p.m. at The Phoenix Place Hotel, 3600 N. 2nd Ave. See you there!

DJ Reidiculous You won’t want to miss out on the hot tracks and tasty beats laid down by the sexy/nerdy Reid Stefanick, a.k.a. “DJ Reidiculous.” More than 38,000 subscribe to his YouTube Channel. Check him out at DJreidiculous.com.

Better yet, get into the groove with him at the Karamba Dance Pavilion on Saturday, April 6.

Girl in a Coma These devoted punk sisters come rockin’ out all the way from San Antonio, Texas! Drummer Phanie Diaz and bass player Jenn Alva are both out & proud Lesbians. They’ll be wailing on the Bistro Stage on Saturday, April 6.

Sarah Peacock You’re gonna love the sweet music Sarah Peacock makes. A little rock mixed with a little country, throw in some heart and a whole lotta love. This Georgia Peach is gonna bring down the Bistro Stage on Sunday, April 7.

Eric Himan “Dust” is just one of the hunky, strapping, singer-songwriter Eric Himan’s hot, yet meaningful songs. This handsome Okie certainly isn’t collecting dust with a busy touring schedule. This sex-o-licious performer has an Adam Levine-like sound and leaves audiences craving more. Eric gives it to you on Sunday, April 7 at 5 p.m. on the Bistro Stage.

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The Veronicas These rockin’ twin sisters come from the Land Down Under ... where women glow and men plunder. Their albums top the charts in the Land of Oz and their following keeps growing and growing. They’ve even got a clothing line in Target! Their latest single, “Lolita,” is described as a “... dark, industrial-tinged dance anthem with a soaring pop chorus.” Find out what these siblings are all about on Saturday, April 6 on the Festival Stage. There’s also a hot Pride Package including a Meet & Greet. Go to PhoenixPride. org to find out how you can get one, too.

Wynter Gordon “I wanna do some dirty things to you tonight.”

This gorgeous singer/songwriter began writing for artists like Mary J. Blige, and worked with Flo Rida, Jennifer Lopez, DJ David Guetta and others. Her first album With the Music I Die features the dance hit, “Dirty Talk.” Wynter will keep Pride audiences talking long after her appearance on the Festival Stage on Saturday, April 6. You can meet the hot, new dance music diva at a special Meet ‘n’ Greet. It’s all part of a special Pride Package. Visit PhoenixPride.org for more information.

Karmin Fans know the kicky pop, rapcover duo of Amy Heidemann and Nick Louis Noonan better as “Karmin.” Their kicky, wordy rappinghood tunes like “Hello” and “Brokenhearted” are fun, infectious and bound to please everybody. They’re Facebook page has over one million “Likes” from superfans who can’t resist their special brand of musical fun! Catch the adorable twosome on Sunday, April 7 on the Festival Stage.

You can even get up close and personal with Amy and Nick at a Meet ‘n’ Greet on Sunday.

For more information about this and a hot Pride Package deal visit PhoenixPride.org April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 45

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WATCH IT! MONTHLY COLUMNS April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 47

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Trance Starring: James McAvoy, Rosario Dawson, Vincent Cassel Oscar winning director, Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) reunites with screenwriter John Hodge (Trainspotting) to bring you this kinetic thriller. Simon (McAvoy) is an art auctioneer who partners with crime boss Franck (Cassel, A Dangerous Method) to steal a painting

by Goya. When the lure of unimaginable wealth proves too great, Simon tries to double-cross his accomplice, resulting in a brain injury that erases his knowledge of where the masterpiece is stashed. To recover it, Franck and Simon enlist the assistance of a talented hypnotherapist, Elizabeth (Dawson, Clerks II). Her experiences poking around in Simon’s subconscious provide far more fascinating information than the whereabouts of a painting.

Release Date: April 5

The Company You Keep Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Robert Redford, Julie Christie, Sam Elliott, Susan Sarandon Jim Grant (Redford, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid) is a recently widowed father and a former member of the militant group, The Weather Underground.

Wanted by the FBI for a bank robbery

and murder, he’s been hiding in New York and posing as an upstanding lawyer. When a former Weather Underground associate (Sarandon, Dead Man Walking) gets arrested, an ambitious young journalist, Ben Shepard (LaBeouf, Transformers), sees an opportunity for a name-making story and tracks Grant down.

This sends Grant on the run while Shepard pursues him. Grant reopens old wounds for Shepard, and as he gets closer to the story, he realizes that things are not as they seem.

Release Date: April 5

The Reluctant Fundamentalist Starring: Kate Hudson, Kiefer Sutherland, Liev Schreiber Award-winning director, Mira Nair (The Namesake) brings to the screen the film adaptation of Moshin Hamid’s novel.

In the midst of 2010 student demonstrations in Lahore, a young Pakistani professor, Changez Khan (Riz Ahmed, Four Lions), is interviewed by American journalist Bobby Lincoln (Liev Schreiber, Goon).

Told largely in flashback, Changez catalogs his experiences as a Princeton college student who became a brilliant business analyst mentored by Jim Cross (Sutherland, 24) and had a promising relationship with Erica (Hudson, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days), before the events of 9/11 and the ensuing paranoia destroyed his future. After returning to Pakistan, he became a Finance Professor and his capabilities earned him the esteem of his students—and the ire of those in charge. A fascinating, relevant tale set in a globalized world struggling with bias, this is a definite must-see.

Release Date: April 26, 2013 April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 49

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Discounts subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, IL. Š 2009 Allstate Insurance Company

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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com

I

t’s Pride! This month is all about the homosexuals on TV. It’s still influenced from March Madness, so why not a three-way battle for the “Best Gay Couple on Television?” Days of Our Lives is our first with soon-to-be dad Will Horton (Chandler Massey) and Sonny Kiriakis (Freddie Smith). DOOL has one of the best character developments of all the soaps when it comes to their gay characters. The common storyline is “boy-gets-girland-now-realizes-he’sgay.” The slow process with constant visits to his therapist Grandma Marlena (Deidre Hall) are the tearjerker moments. You can feel the emotion and pain coming from Will as he’s trying to figure out who he really is. You just want to hug him. A lot.

The first prick-tease about Will’s sexuality came in May 2011, but it took until August for Will and Sonny to share their first kiss. Sonny was the supportive friend oozing confidence and catching Will’s eye. Watching them blossom and seeing the way they look at each other reminds you of the first time you fell in love or how I look at a Sprinkles cupcake. Both men are turning into Salem’s Power Couple.

YouTube their journey and catch DOOL weekdays on NBC. Next up we have our boys from The New Normal. We join David Sawyer (Justin Bartha) and Bryan Collins (Andrew Rannells) happily partnered wanting a

baby. They remind me of Will and Jack from Will & Grace if we got to see what would’ve happened if they got together. David, the mellow voice of reason, and Bryan being so over-the-top make them perfect soon-to-be-parents.

David’s proposal to Bryan with Goldie (Georgia King) and their unborn child in the room is the highlight of the show, and that’s not said lightly. The show plays with stereotypical moments that almost hurt the show. Yes, it’s from Ryan Murphy and he knows how to play on our heart strings, but some things aren’t needed. Their oneon-one interactions are the sweet moments the series needs to stay afloat. The New Normal airs on NBC on Tuesdays.

The final duo comes from Modern Family. My favorite red head, aside from Marvel Girl Jean Grey, Mitchell Pritchett (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and the lovable Cameron Tucker (Eric Stonestreet) are what a perfect couple should be. Mitchell is uptight and at times embarrassed by his partner’s flamboyant behavior while Cameron is a farm boy from Missouri who loves theatre. The perfect yin and yang. Yes, Cameron is sometimes overly flamboyant but that’s how it should be written and perceived. Having an oversassy adopted Vietnamese daughter, Lilly, with her one-liners are every parent’s dream child. This series is the perfect sitcom for this generation with their amazing ensemble cast each character deserves recognition. Modern Family airs Wednesdays on ABC. Happy Phoenix Pride and pick your winner!

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One appointment. Expert doctors. Convenient services.

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Because caring for your health has always been our passion, we’ve made the following services conveniently available in our office.

• Excellent care for all ages • Same day appointments • On-site clinical laboratory and X-rays • Dermatology and Optometry services • Botox and Obagi skin care now available

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David Francyk, D.O.

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4350 E. Camelback Rd., Ste F100 Phoenix, AZ 85018 602.955.8700 • FPSAZ.com

Walk-ins welcome | M-F 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Saturday 8 a.m. – 11 a.m.

Open late on Thursdays till 8 p.m. and Saturdays from 7 a.m. – noon.

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

Les Miserables Starring: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried, Eddie Redmayne In this eight-time Academy Award nominated musical interpretation of the novel of the same name, Les Miserables is the story of some of the most put-upon people on earth who deal with their misery by singing about it beautifully.

Hugh Jackman stars as Jean Valjean, a convict who is released on parole by guard with a grudge, Javert (Russell Crowe), after serving 20-years in a hard labor camp for stealing a loaf of bread (making our sentences for possession of marijuana look rather lax, comparatively.)

Valjean vows to be a better man and rises in his community. His negligence leads to his employee, Fantine (Hathaway), being fired for having a child out of wedlock, making him vow to rescue her daughter, Cosette (Seyfried), from a similar fate. You know how teenagers are: when as Cosette locks eyes with trust fund revolutionary, Marius (Redmayne), she’s in love.

I assume that most (if not all) of you are well aware of the general plot of Les Mis and wondering what sets this one apart?

For one, it has Hugh Jackman. If you’ve never seen him outside of the X-Men movies, you’re in for a real treat because this cat can act! And sing! So can Russell Crowe. In fact, it could be argued that this

rendition of Les Miserables exists solely to showcase how deeply talented some of Australia’s male actors are. And that’s worth a hell of a lot more than eight Oscar nods.

Strange Frame Starring (the voice talents of): Claudia Black, Tara Strong, Ron Glass, Tim Curry, George Takei “How fortunate are those who can frame the strange.” Thus begins the 2012 animated scifi Lesbian rock opera, Strange Frame, partnering G.B. Hajim’s uniquely psychedelic cut-out animation style with an equally vivid, rich and deliciously bizarre narrative.

At the end of the 28th Century, generations after Earthlings have destroyed their home planet and sought asylum on a moon as debt slavery. Strange Frame tells the story of how debt slave/songstress, Naia X (Strong) meets, falls in love with, and unites with saxophonist, Parker (Black), in an effort to overthrow their moon/planet’s system of oppression. The fact that they’re Lesbian is only incidental; the future is one in which sexual orientation is commonplace.

Despite being set in the future, there’s something anachronistic about the use of cut-out animation instead of more modern animation. That, alongside making it a rock opera (where the central instrument is a saxophone), gives it this, well, strange quality—one that makes viewers (at least this one) recall other animated rock operas, like Heavy Metal, though it is, undeniably, in a league of its own.

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Heart Ann and Nancy Wilson go “Crazy on You” with their wailing hard rock ballads, signature guitar riffs and bitchin’ vocals from the 70s, including “Dog & Butterfly,” “Barracuda” and more. These Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame inductees will be performing on Sunday, April 7 at the Celebrity Theatre, 440 N. 32nd St. in Phoenix. For tix call 602-267-1600 or visit CelebrityTheatre.com. Start practicing your “air guitar” now.

Tegan & Sara These identical twins hail from Canada, and have played at Coachella, Lollapalooza, Lillith Fair, the True Colors Tour and with the biggest names in the biz. These openly Gay gals come to Tucson on Saturday, April 14 and play at the Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. For tix call 520-740-1000. Visit RialtoTheatre.com for more info.

Paramore This emo/pop-punk band attacks their music with infectious enthusiasm. Take No Doubt and throw in a little bit of Kelly Clarkson along with a tad of Avril Lavigne. Whatever they do, they never disappoint their fans! See them perform Monday, April 29 at the Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. For tix go to LiveNation.com or call 602-379-2888

APRIL 2013 ION Concert Calendar DATE 5 5-7 7 12 12 13-14 13-14 14 14 18 20 20 23 24 26 29

ARTIST LOCATION PHONE The Tubes Talking Stick Resort 800-745-3000 Marriage of Figaro Symphony Hall 800-745-3000 Heart Celebrity Theatre 602-267-1600 Sigur Rós Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 Doobie Brothers Westworld - Scottsdale 800-745-3000 Country Thunder USA Grounds - Florence 800-804-6418 Marriage of Figaro Tucson Music Hall 800-745-3000 Tegan & Sara Rialto Theatre - Tucson 520-740-1000 Modest Mouse Crescent Ballroom 602-716-2222 Postal Service Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 Dionne Warwick Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-TKTS Dwight Yoakam Talking Stick Resort 800-745-3000 Bon Jovi Jobing.com Arena 800-745-3000 Molly Ringwald Musical Instrument Museum 480-478-6000 Foreigner Talking Stick Resort 800-745-3000 Paramore Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 55

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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? Depeche Mode – Delta

Machine

Still scratching your head from Universe but wanting more from Angel? Fear not! This re-invigorated 80s band gives us a Songs of Devotion inlayed with Violator plus a bit of “umph,” blues and soul. Though not as commercial as I’d hoped for, it’s definitely still not as experimental as they’ve been before. Still “weird” in some parts, Delta Machine has better cohesion and keeps a thread of consistency throughout. First single “Angel” comes off as angry while “Heaven” shows a more harmonious side to this album. “Broken” and “Should Be Higher” are among this set’s standout tracks with their catchy hooks and an ode to the DM of yesteryear. GRADE: C+

OMD – English Electric

Keeping with the 80s theme, OMD is back after a dazzling comeback two years ago. Part New Order, part Kraftwerk and a lot of re-energized new wave, OMD evolves its sound by juxtaposing these ingredients with an electro foundation that sounds very 2013.

Though mostly melodic, there are some experimental aspects as heard in the three electro interludes. Lead single “Metroland” is pure cotton candy and resonates with a “Dreaming” sense of style. Find great support from “Dresden” and “Night Café” with their harmonious hooks and the completely revamped collaboration with Kraftwerk called “Helen of Troy” GRADE: B+ April 2013

Olly Murs –

Right Place, Right Time

Runner Up to the UK’s X Factor from 2009 is set to make a splash stateside. Already a huge sensation overseas, Olly hopes to follow in the footsteps of One Direction. Composed of singles from his previous works as well as some new material, Right Place definitely comes at the “Right Time” and could be the album to watch in 2013. Lead in track “Army of Two” serves a perfect ratio of pop, electro bassline and a JT-esque falsetto, while “Heart Skips a Beat” and “Troublemaker” featuring Flo Rida give further muscle to this debut. Then there’s the sensational throwback of “Dance with Me Tonight” that makes you want to twist! GRADE: B+ Look for new stuff from: One Republic, Blake Shelton, The Strokes, Lil Wayne, Will.i.am, Sasha, NKOTB, Flaming Lips, Paramore, LeAnn Rimes, Michael Bublé and Sarah Brightman. In other music news, Billboard reforms their methodology of ranking the biggest songs in the U.S. Through the decades, sales and airplay used to crown the #1 song. Even recently, ondemand/streams were added to keep up with technology.

With the addition of YouTube hits, any artist can be #1.

Knowing someone who can create a clip that gets watched but not downloaded, requested or streaming it is insulting. Elvis must be rolling in his grave right now. www.IONAZ.com 57

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DRAMA

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The Marriage of Figaro An “opera buffa” (that means it’s funny) about Figaro, the valet of Count Almaviva. They both love the sweet Susanna. They conspire with the Countess to embarrass the Count for his infidelity. Lots of mistaken identity, and glorius music by Mozart. Phoenix: April 5-7 at Symphony Hall, 75 N. 2nd St. Tucson: April 13-14 at Tucson Music Hall, 260 S. Church St. Visit AZopera.org for more info & tix. Gays love this stuff!

Chicks with Dicks Bad girls on bikes doing bad things! The misadventures of Vespa D’Amour, a prom queen runner-up takes control of the all-girl biker gang after the accidental death of her sex-shy boyfriend. A hilarious, estrogen packed, biker epic with girl fights! Catch it April 19-May 11 at Stray Cat Theatre. 132 E. 6th St., Tempe. Ph:480-634-6435

FELA! Fela Kuti was a Nigerian music revolutionary, pioneering Afrobeat, a style of music blending African harmonies and rhythms, jazz, funk— and even a little bit of James Brown—with satirical lyrics criticizing the Nigerian government. Fela! is about his controversial life and legacy. April 23-24 at ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest Ave. in Tempe.

Call 480-965-3434 or visit ASUgammage.com

APRIL 2013 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 5-7 Marriage of Figaro Symphony Hall 5-21 Spring Awakening Mesa Arts Center thru 7 Wicked Tucson Music Hall thru 7 La Cage Aux Folles Phoenix Theatre 11-27 She Stoops to Conquer Mesa Arts Center 13-14 Marriage of Figaro Tucson Music Hall 13 Sinbad Wild Horse Pass Casino thru 14 The Sunshine Boys Arizona Theatre Co. 19 Les Ballets Trocadero Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 19-5/11 Chicks with Dicks Stray Cat Theatre 23-28 Blue Man Group Tucson Music Hall 26-27 George Lopez Celebrity Theatre 23-24 FELA! ASU Gammage 26-28 Christopher Titus StandUp LIVE 28 Larry the Cable Guy Tori Amphitheatre - Tucson thru 5/19 The Foreigner Scottsdale Desert Stages MAY 3-5 Kaleidosope of Love Phoenix College 3 Gabriel Iglesias Talking Stick Resort 3-4 David Spade StandUp LIVE

PHONE 800-745-3000 480-644-6500 800-745-3000 602-254-2151 480-644-6500 800-745-3000 800-840-0457 602-256-6995 480-994-TKTS 480-634-6435 800-745-3000 602-267-1600 480-965-3434 480-719-1600 866-459-2035 480-483-1664 800-745-3000 480-719-1600

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Miss Gay Western States Come experience the glamour, the pageantry, the excitement—and a few rhinestones and sequins—as some of the top female impersonators in the region compete for the crown. Don’t miss the extra glitz as Miss Gay America, Sally Sparkles lights up the stage. Sponsored in part by ION Arizona magazine. It all happens on Sunday, April 28 at 6 p.m. in The Studio at the Tempe Center for the Arts, 700 W. Rio Salado Pkwy. in Tempe, AZ. Visit MGWSA.com for more info.

APRIL 2013 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Sat 6 10:00pm Karamba Pride Party with the Karamba Girls Sun 7 7:00pm The Rock Post Pride Party with ButterScotch... Miss Gay Columbia 2013 Sun 7 10:00pm Karamba Pride Party with Lineysha Sparks Fri 12 10:00pm The Rock Juke Joint Thurs 18 10:30pm Karamba Mariah Carey Tribute Fri 19 10:00pm The Rock Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens Sat 20 Charlie’s Miss Gay Phoenix America Pageant Sun 21 6:00pm The Rock Arizona Entertainer of the Year Pageant Fri 26 10:00pm The Rock Lady Christian’s Trailer Trash Revue WEEKLY SHOWS Mondays BS West Kiki Andrews in Have It Your Way Mondays Mondays 9:00pm The Rock It’s Bingo, Bitches! with Kendra & Aimee Mondays 10:00pm Charlie’s Barbra Seville w/ Strippers!

Mondays 10:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo Mondays 9:00pm The Rock “It’s Bingo, Bitches!” with Kendra Katoure & Aimee V. Justice Wednesdays 9:00pm IBT’s Viva La Diva with Janee Star Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Girls of Karamba - Adrian Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Montiel Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Claudia B. & Company Wednesdays 10:00pm The Rock Are You Smarter Than A Drag Queen?

Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Fridays 9:00pm IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins Fridays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Miss Dottie Pepper Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Saturdays 9:00pm IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star Saturdays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams Saturdays 10:00pm The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show 1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Dottie Pepper Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Diamond’s Show April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 63

Don’t miss Eight’s Check, Please! Arizona Festival at Cityscape!

Sunday, April 28th 11am-4pm Taste and discover the best chefs and restaurants from your favorite episodes…

This time, you’re the critic.

Exclusive James Beard Award Winners Discussion Panel hosted by Robert McGrath featuring Christopher Gross and Nobuo Fukuda

Tarbell’s Petite Maison Tuck Shop Lon’s at the Hermosa Phoenix City Grille Vogue Bistro Coup Des Tartes Eddie’s House

Mac Alpines Flancer’s Pittsburgh Willy’s AZ Bread Co. Havana Café America’s Taco Shop Mrs. Whites Golden Rule Café Pomegranate Café Thee Pitt’s “Again”

Haus Murphy’s German Restaurant Shugrue’s Hillside Grill Cornish Pasty Co. Betty’s Nosh Frasher’s Steakhouse & Lounge Amuse Bouche Four Peaks Brewery Mucho Gusto

Keep an eye out on Eight, Arizona PBS Tickets available at www.azpbs.org/checkplease/festival 64

www.IONAZ.com April 2013

H

ellloo! What a joy for Miss Seville to be back in print.

Welcome to The B-List!

Think of it as your own personal glance at the who, what, where, and WTF that have caught the terribly short attention span (SQUIRELL!!!) of America’s Favorite Blonde (AFB), Barbra Seville!

By no means is this a trend watch or style forecaster (hold on to your wig! Next month, Miss Seville discovers “planking.”) Rather, it’s a quick peek into the whims, flights of fancy, and thorns in the side of a busy and dizzy queen in today’s whirlwind world. And, yes. Again, that queen would be Miss Seville.

Here’s my scale: B+ = PERFECT B = GOOD B- = Not a Complete Waste of TIme F= Bitch, please!

This Month’s B List: Vanessa Bayer has AFB in stitches just about every time she’s on “Saturday Night Live.” Yes, it’s cool to bag on “Saturday Night Dead,” but when they’re good, believe me, they are killing it!

Her original characters, scene stealing, and quirky ticks pull your eyes to her whenever she’s on screen. Look for her comical “Ex-Pornstar Turned Advertising Spokesperson”—and try not to think of every serious conversation you’ve ever had witnessed while someone was completely, totally loaded. I’m giving this a “B+”

Barbra’s B-List Justin Timberlake’s latest album 20/20 Experience is like candy for my ears. I’m not exactly sure that I’m JT’s target audience, but this was the first CD I’ve purchased (that means I didn’t steal it, burn it, or clip it from YouTube. Yes, purchased in an actual store, you know where they buy stuff?) in almost a year. Into big bands, rap, or funk? Mr. Jessica Biel serves it all up. “Strawberry Bubblegum” and “Suit & Tie” are particularly good times. This gets a “B” Cross dressers, lady-boys, queens, and fans: take note! There’s a new, statuesque beauty roaming the stages of Phoenix! She goes by the name of Halle O’Day. At (barely) 21 (bitch!), she’s the reigning Miss Junior Phoenix Gay Pride. This Child of Tomorrow is as sweet as she is lovely, and can work a live microphone to sing. As of now she’s too nice to claw her way up, so look for her to come up in the ranks on her own merit. She earns a “B+” Speaking of queens ...Who’s watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race?” The salty, acidic, toxic ramblings of contestant Coco Montrese make me want to knock the Tang-colored highlight powder right off of her face. It’s sad; Miss Montrese has been through Phoenix a few times—she seemed sweet. Well, to me, anyway. She’s either acting her made-up face off on “RPDR,” or she was doing it here.

In any case: she gets an “F-” Who’s on your list? Have I missed the mark—again? Talk back to me on Facebook or Twitter!

Who’s next on the list? You’ll find out in May. April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 65

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QUENCH THE FLAMES

DINING | RETAIL April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 69

Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS invites you to

Illuminating the Path Night for Life 2013

A beautiful, spectacular and entertaining evening under the moonlit sky.

Presented by Richard P. Stahl Saturday, May 11, 2013 Montelucia Resort & Spa 4949 East Lincoln Drive Scottsdale, Arizona Evening Spotlights 6:00 PM Silent Auction Cocktail Reception 7:30 PM Dinner and Program 8:30 PM JAMM Band Bally’s Las Vegas Black Tie

For Information and Tickets Visit swhiv.org or Call 602.307.5330 x 2241 Book your Night for Life room at montelucia.com and receive 70

off by using promo code MONCAT in the PROMOTIONS tab www.IONAZ.com 15% April 2013

Make Reservations Now! THURSDAY, APRIL 25, 2013 Dining Out for Life is a one-day international event created to bring the community together in the fight against HIV and AIDS where local restaurants agree to donate a portion of the proceeds.

diningoutforlife.com Text DOFL to 30364 DOFLinPHX HOSTED BY PRESENTED BY

SPONSORED BY

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Maizie’s Breakfast Rise ‘n’ shine! Up ‘n’ at ‘em! The early bird gets the worm! But you want breakfast.

Remember, it’s the most important meal of the day. Breakfast feeds the brain.

Breakfast built Western Civilization—that’s why there’s an International House of Pancakes, silly! Kinda like the United Nations for Breakfast. You don’t even have to really deal with anything else in life until breakfast is over.

One of the best places to greet the day is at what’s already a Central Corridor dining staple: Maizie’s, who recently inaugurated a weekday breakfast.

In just a few short years Maizie’s has become one of the go-to bistros for quality, casual dining. A variety of salads, panini, sandwiches, burgers, pizza, and imaginative and traditional entrées are big favorites already—and don’t pass up their always fab soups of the day.

The success of Maizie’s popular brunch with “Build Your Own Omelets,” a variety of luscious and imaginative “Benedicts” and more spurred them on to hustle back into the kitchen at the crack of dawn Monday through Friday and serve breakfast.

Hash. You get a big plate of house-made corned beef tenderly cooked up with onions, roasted corn and bell peppers.

This is all served over crispy, cubed, breakfast potatoes and topped with two eggs any style. A whopping serving is $12.

God bless the French! Try the big, fluffy, three-egg Mushroom-Swiss Omelet for $10. This beauty is stuffed with flavorful mushrooms and rich Swiss cheese, natch.

This also comes with those breakfast potatoes and toast with your choice of bread.

Franco-American relations are boosted on Maizie’s menu with French Toast for $11.

Thick slices of a baguette are soaked in a rich egg batter, griddled to golden brown perfection and served with a luscious apple cream cheese spread that’s to die for. Advice: this is worth sharing. You may want to order two. Ooh là là! Vive la France!

The menu also features morning favorites like House Made Oatmeal with steel-cut oats and

Breakfast is best when it’s simple and not overly fussy nor complicated, in my book.

Maizie’s is big on honest-togoodness, down-home style breakfast. Chef Holly presents an array of great ways to start the day!

The biggest crowd-pleaser is bound to be the Corned Beef

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served with sides of brown sugar, walnuts, cranberries and milk; Joel’s Lox and Bagel as well as the Classic on Central: two eggs served with bacon, Italian sausage or ham, breakfast potatoes and toast.

Even though usually you don’t have to put your pants on to eat breakfast, do yourself a favor: get dressed and enjoy the morning and this meal at Maizie’s. If you don’t have any pants there’s a tailor right next door.

Breakfast served Mon-Fri 7 a.m.-11 a.m.

4750 N. Central 602-274-2828 MaiziesCafe.com

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Lunch. Dinner. Late Night. Weekend Brunch.

Online Reservations @ blissonfourth.com • 602.795.1792 blissrebar

foursquare.com/blissrebar

@blissrebar

901 north 4th street • 602.795.1792

Pride Weekend Bliss Sat & Sun 10am-3pm

$10 Mimosa Pitchers & $4 Bloodys PRIDE

SuNdAy phuNdAY 2-7pm

Live DJ Alcohol Half Price Karaoke Kraziness starts @ 9pm

PHX Favorite. Pride Pitstops

Weekend Brunch Specials Sat & Sun 10am-3pm.

Open Late Night • Full Menu

Weekend Breakfast Home of the

$4 weekend cocktail carafes 10am-3pm

SPRING FLING! Fresh Food, Classic Drinks, Casual Comfort.

Lunch. Dinner. Late Night. Weekend Brunch.

Reservations @ fezoncentral.com or 602.287.8700 fezoncentral

SwitchofArizonA.com 602.264.2295

switchofarizona April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 77

Come see what we’re all about with one month of fRee SWImmInG! Visit us online for swim locations, swim times and to find out more about the Sunfish.

www.phxsunfish.org Support the Sunfish at Pride, April 21-22, by visiting our Beverage Booth!

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PHOENIX PRIDE

2013 PROGRAM April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 79

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Welcome to the 2013 Phoenix Pride Parade and Festival!

As my chapter with Phoenix Pride draws to a close, I would be remiss if I didn’t stop to say “Thank You!” “Thank you” to my staff, committee managers and volunteers; YOU ROCK! Thank you for sticking with me for the last five years, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! To my current Board of Directors and all that came before you, “Thank You” for taking a chance on this Oklahoma Girl! I leave with lifelong friends and mentors that put their trust in me, made me believe in myself as a leader and on a regular basis reminded me that no matter how hard I tried I would never please all of the people all of the time, but lord knows I tried.

And last but not least, “Thank You” to my community! Thank you for not only supporting me through my journey but for always supporting Phoenix Pride. I leave with a sense of accomplishment that could not have been achieved without each and every one of you. You and Phoenix Pride will always have a special place in my heart and I will miss you very much!

THANK YOU! And for the last time I say, “HAPPY PRIDE!” Much Love,

Brandi Sokolosky

Brandi Sokolosky Executive Director, Phoenix Pride

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FESTIVAL MAP

Mechanical Bull

Bungee

ONLINE TICKET ONLY

ENTRANCE

BUY TICKETS HERE

ENTRANCE

IMPORTANT FESTIVAL INFORMATION:

FESTIVAL LOCATION

Steele Indian School Park 3rd Street & Indian School Rd.

FESTIVAL TICKETS

2 Entrances Single Day $20 at GATE Alcohol Tickets: $5

FESTIVAL HOURS Saturday noon- 9pm Sunday noon- 9pm

No Pets Allowed at Festival Umbrellas and Chairs ARE Permitted 1 Unopened Bottle of Water Allowed (any size) A full updated list of festival information can be found at http://www.phoenixpride.org

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Seventh Street

Central Avenue

Highland Avenue

Saturday, March 30th, 2013 C.A.R.E. 5th Annual March for Equality Casa Grande Phoenix Metropolitan Men’s Chorus Canyon’s & Echo’s “Dancing Queen” 7pm, Memorial Hall Steele Indian School Park

Indian School Road

Fairmount Avenue

Announcer’s Stage

Clarendon Avenue Judge’s Stage

Third Street

Osborn Road

Step Off at 10am

Thomas Road

RIDE THE LIGHTRAIL!

Wednesday, April 3rd , 2013 Gay Pride Skate 8pm-11pm, Glendale Great Skate Thursday, April 4th, 2013 ECHO’s Readers Choice Awards 6pm, Copper Blues Friday, April 5th , 2013 Miss Phoenix Gay Pride Finals 7pm, Memorial Hall Steele Indian School Park ION Arizona’s Splash Bash Noon - 8pm, Phoenix Place Hotel Saturday, April 6th, 2013 AZ Frontrunner’s Pride Equality 5K Walk/Run 8am, Tempe Town Lake Phoenix Pride Parade - Step off at 10am Phoenix Pride Festival - Noon - 9pm VIP After Party - 8pm - 1am, Rooftop at Lustre

PARKING $5 4041 N. Central Ave. (behind Phoenix School of Law)

STATION:

Indian School Rd.

Sunday, April 7th, 2013 Phoenix Pride Festival - Noon - 9pm Friday, April 12th, 2013 Aunt Rita’s Foundation Savor Life Soriee 7:30pm, Phoenix Art Museum Friday, April 19th, 2013 GLSEN’s Day of Silence Saturday, April 20th, 2013 Phoenix Pride Comedy Slam 7:30pm, Phoenix College Bulpitt Auditorium

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?

Who will take the crown?

Lezbia

n McK enzie Host

Mya McKenzie Host

Join us April 5th

www.pride-pageant.org

Honoring Grecia Montes D’Occa & Jensen Dean Photo by Thompson Image courtesy IONAZ

Special Performance by: Miss & Mister Jr. Phoenix Gay Pride Halle O’Day & Justin P. Case

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SATURDAY APRIL 6th Noon

“Door to Equality Painting Competition Begins”

12pm - 6pm Community Painting On Doors 12pm - 8pm Community Painting on Canvas 12pm -6pm “Door to Equality” Silent Auction Bidding starts at $65 proceeds to go to Pride Scholarship Fund 6pm

“Door to Equality” Contest winners announced

1st Place: Audience Favorite

Additional Categories: Best Use of Theme, Best Use of Color and Best Use of Media Sunday APRIL 7TH 12pm - 8pm “Door to Equality” Presentation 12pm - 8pm Community Painting on Canvas

(Must be 18 yrs or older with ID) Saturday APRIL 6TH 1:30PM - 2:15PM Carnival Latinos Male Review 2:30PM............Fire Cupping 3PM ................Erotic Cake Photography 3:30PM............Forced Singing Humiliation 4PM.................Dress the Dominatrix 4:30PM ...........Trampling/Smothering 5PM - 6PM ..... Romantasy Cabaret & VaVaVoom!

Burlesque & Dance Sunday APRIL 7TH 1:30PM - 2PM.Gene Moore from Comedy Spot 2:30PM............Erotic Bondage 3PM.................Puppy Pet Play 3:30PM............Knives & Blades 4PM.................Forced Singing Humiliation 4:30PM............Professor Student Spanking 5PM - 6PM....... Romantasy Cabaret & VaVaVoom!

Burlesque & Dance

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HOSTS: Devin Mitchell & Barbra Seville 2PM – 3PM

Mason

3PM – 3:15PM

DWTB All-Star Cast Reveal

3:15PM – 4PM

Phoenix Pride Royalty

4PM - 4:45PM Shari Cherie & The Haus of Fame Present: Starstruck 4:45PM – 5:30PM Phoenix Phollies 5:30PM - 7PM Devinography’s Best Dance Crews hosted by Devin Mitchell and Rhea Litre

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7PM – 8PM

Wynter Gordon

8PM – 9PM

The Veronicas

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BISTRO STAGE Saturday April 6th

Sunday APRIL 7th

12PM - 12:45PM Carol Pacey and the Honey

12PM - 12:45PM Jeordie

Shakers

1PM - 1:45PM Phoenix Sojourn

1PM - 1:45PM Anamieke Quinn

2PM-3PM

2PM - 2:45PM Ben Ciampa

3PM - 3:45PM Bad Reputation

3:15PM-4PM The Random Gingers

(Joan Jett Tribute Band)

4:00PM-4:45PM Steff Koeppen & The Articles

4PM - 4:45PM Sarah Peacock

5:00PM-5:45PM Taylor Jayne

5PM - 5:45PM Eric Himan

6:00PM-6:45PM Girl in a Coma

6PM - 6:45PM Mary Godfrey Trio

7:00PM-7:45PM Jeordie

7PM - 7:30PM Amber Dirks

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THE TBD’S

COMMUNITY STAGE Saturday APRIL 6th

Sunday APRIL 7th

12PM - 1PM The Ernesto & Gene Comedy

12PM - 1PM

Host Intro & Music

1PM - 2PM

Afeelya and the Gang

1PM -2PM

ORB

2PM - 3PM Freddie Prinze and the

2PM - 3PM

Tucson Drag Troupe

3PM - 4PM

Phoenix Pride Royalty

4PM - 5PM

Country Idol

Boyz of Summer 3PM - 4PM Miss Phoenix Gay Pride Contestants

5PM - 6PM Shari Cherie & The Haus

4PM - 5PM

one n ten

of Fame present:

5PM - 6PM

Latin Idol

Queens of Fame

6PM - 7PM Ruby Reynolds and the

6PM - 7PM

Melissa Kinsington Starr

Karamba Divas

METRO STAGE

DANCE STAGE

Sunday APRIL 7th 12PM - 1:30PM Michael Ryan 1:30PM - 3PM QUBIQ 3PM - 4:30PM Musa VS Zapata 4:30PM - 6:30PM Matt Fox 6:30PM - 9PM Austin Head

Sunday APRIL 7th 12PM - 2PM Wonder Twins 2PM - 4PM Marc Echeveste 4PM - 6PM Motion 6PM - 9PM DJ Jesus Vega presented by Karamba

Saturday APRIL 6th 12PM - 2PM Haightz 2PM - 4PM Sweat 4PM - 6PM Shorty 6PM - 9PM Tsunami

Saturday APRIL 6th 12PM - 3PM Urban 3PM - 5PM DJ Kela 5PM - 6:30PM DJ Reidiculous 6:30PM - 7:30PM Mic Mixxer 7:30PM - 9PM Matt Fox

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HEROES

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Photos by Don Thompson Text & Direction by Deon Brown Art by Kevin Bushaw

Luisa Valdez

•The Rising Star•

There’s no stopping this Powerhouse of Pride! Luisa is the Events Assistant at Aunt Rita’s Foundation, the Vice-Chair of the Phoenix Pride Board, and GLBTQ Outreach for AIDS Walk Phoenix. She is the owner of The Herbalista, promoting holistic healthcare.

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Gabriele Bertaccini •The Passion Award•

“Life is a combination of magic and pasta.” Chef Gabriele Bertaccini of Il Tocco has the perfect recipe. Gabe’s passion for helping raise over $56,000 last year for Crisis Nursery, Equality Arizona, American Cancer Ass’n., SW Ctr. for HIV/ AIDS, HRC, One-n-Ten, Liberty Wildlife and other causes and organizations. This year he’s already raised over $44,000 thanks to his delicious magic.

And his pasta.

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Maryanne Martini •Community Outreach•

This very special lady wears many hats.

She volunteers for the Desperado LGBT Film Festival, visits Mulligan’s Manor, the first group foster home for Gay and Trans teens in Arizona, and she’s also the first Transgendered contestant in the Ms. Senior Arizona Pageant. She’s a budding standup comedian, too. Maryanne is an “out” Trans- parent and grandparent living with the love of her life and accepting and supportive wife. “I wouldn’t trade this life or this moment for anything.”

Ethan Baldwin

•Most Valuable Volunteer•

Ethan is the Youth Volunteer at One-n-Ten, conducting tours of the facility along with preparing and distributing meals to the center’s youth, outreach, and providing a helpful, safe space.

“Anything they ask me to do, I’ll do. If someone needs my help, I’m there,” he says. The world needs more Ethans.

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Stacey Black & Todd Wyckoff •Fantastic Fundraisers• With a lot of hard work, Todd from Charlie’s and Stacey from Harley’s Italian Bistro won this year’s “Sexiest Bartender” contest at Apollo’s.

Competing with nine other contestants, with their talents and efforts they all raised over $12,000 for Joshua Tree’s Pet Assistance Project. Arf! Meow! (photo by Fernando Hernandez)

Dr. Mandee Rowley •Unsung Hero•

Mandee is committed to treating the “whole” person and believes in the connection between mind, body, and spirit and promoting the health and well-being for people who identify as LGBT, Queer and Questioning. She’s worked with Phoenix Shanti Group, Aunt Rita’s Foundation, and the LGBTQ Consortium in Maricopa County as training and education co-chair. She’s also starting her own counseling and healing practice, Kindred Spirit Wellness, in hopes of reaching a greater group of individuals in search of healing.

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Amy Edmonds

•Straight Ally• Amy’s inexhaustible talents stretch back to 1996. She’s volunteered for AIDS Project Arizona, worked as case manager at HIV Care Directions, Pediatric HIV social worker at Phoenix Children’s Hospital, Secretary/ Treasurer for Aunt Rita’s Foundation, and program coordinator for first opt-out routine HIV testing in the Emergency Department at Maricopa Medical Center Amy assisted with the development of Phoenix’s first HIV-positive youth summit, hosted SAVORlife Dinners, coordinated the PCH AIDS Walk Team and volunteers at Phoenix Pride. “My most rewarding role to date has been that of friend,” Amy says.

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Richard Stevens AKA Barbra Seville

•Phoenix’s Pride• About every crown in town has rested on the celebrated head of the Blonde One. The real-life Prince Charming behind our Queen is Richard Stevens.

Stevens. “Barbra ‘Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100” raised thousands of dollars for AIDS Walk Phoenix and countless fundraisers through the years for charities and those in need.

Say, “Yes, Barbra.” And Richard. We’re proud of you both!

Michael Parra

•Mr. Phoenix Leather• As the winner of Mr. Phoenix Leather, Michael Parra will proudly represent our great state in the acclaimed International Mister Leather Contest in Chicago during Memorial Day weekend this year.

Good luck, sir!

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CONVENTION CENTER

MODA PROVACATEUR

SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX

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4th AVE STREET FAIR

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IBT’S

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OUTRAGEOUS NEWS | COMICS April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 113

A PRESIDENTIAL

STAR

35 YEARS IN THE MAKING

THE

SATURDAY APRIL 27TH • 5-8PM CHARLIE’S • 727 W. Camelback Rd.

SERVING UP ELECTION PARTY REALNESS • Candidate Video Confessional • Nomination Photo Booth • Campaign Swag • I Choose Smirnoff Cocktail Poll

RALLY

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BS West • Charlie’s • Kobalt • Bliss Re/Bar • Bar 1 VIEW DATES & TIMES AT SWAYEVENTS.COM

WHY VOTE FOR CHE$WORTH? VIEW THE CAMPAIGN VIDEO

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Vol. 7, Issue 3

April 2013

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

Angry Protesters Find Time For Happy Hour

OUTRAGEOUS!

WASHINGTON, D.C.— Tempers flared on the front steps of the Supreme Court of the United States as the Justices listened to the oral arguments surrounding the controversy conncerning the issues of DOMA and California’s Prop. 8 late last month. The court’s decisions will likely decide the fate of “Gay marriage.”

Heated exchanges volleyed back and forth from the early morning hours throughout the day. The furor died down around 5 o’clock Monday through Friday.

“C’mon, boys!

Let’s pack up the Homosexual Agenda for the day,” yelled Kurt Taggit from New York Pockets of angry City. “It’s Happy protesters supporting the repeal of both Acts Hour at Filly Buster’s! They’ve got a Beltway clashed with the opposition who believe Buffet and Government Cheese! After that it’s ANY RESEMBLANCE TOone THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL marriage is between “one man, woman.”

2-for-1 at Rimland!”

OUTRAGEOUS! “Supporting these issues is unconstitutional!” shouted Bruce-Leslie Powder from Bethesda, Md. “As a Gay man I have every right to be just as miserable as Straight people!”

The Bible Thumpers went to a Tea Party at the Thurmond Motel where they enjoyed Banned in Boston Baked Beans.

The Gay Mafia will sponsor an “All-U-Won’tEat-Because-You’re-on-a-Diet Brunch” every Sunday at the Iron Fist Bar & Grill with a Tea Dance at The Cockus near Dupont Circle.

OUTRAGEOUS! “Jesus’ parents were Mary and Joseph—not Larry and Joseph!” screamed Connie Jean Rawlings from Raleigh, N.C.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 115

I am a friend, a Latino, and a peer educator.

And I am living with HIV.

TM

José (center) has lived with HIV since 2001.

Get the facts. Get tested. Get involved. Visit ArizonaHIVAware.com.

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OUTRAGEOUS! Zooey Deschanel to Open School For Girls OUTRAGEOUS!

PORTLAND— Idiosyncratic star of FOX television’s hit, “The New Girl” and pixie-like gamin qualities has propelled her to the top of Tween Girls ‘Most Admired’ list ANY RESEMBLANCE across America.

Her wide-eyed, winsome charisma coupled with thick bangs makes her an ideal for girls everywhere.

That’s why she’s opening up her own Quirky School for Girls in the equally quirky city of Portland, Oregon.

The curriculum will feature specific, quirky classes in scratchyvoice singing, vulnerability-whilestill-appearingindependent, and ukulele lessons.

Pupils will read a lot of J.D. ACCIDENTAL Salinger novels and Jack Kerouac literature. They will type up their book reports on vintage Underwood typewriters. The cafeteria will serve a vegan menu with no eggs, dairy or wheat gluten.

OUTRAGEOUS! TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

“I’m glad my unique, individual, ANY TOTO THE TRUTH IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANYRESEMBLANCE RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL innate quirkiness made me a role “Zooey’s model,” said unconventional founder and appeal and dewy headmistress Deschanel. “I think I’ll work freshness is something that appeals to young American girls. That and her weird, thrift store on the syllabus for Anomalistic Drama & TV dresses, little, cat lady-style cardigan sweaters, Theory and Off-Center Dance now.” funky sundresses and black hosiery” said one Enrollment will begin for next Fall Season. administrator for the new school. “She’s just so ... so ... so quirky!”

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 117

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SMOKIN’ HOT Photos by Devin Mitchell Art by Kevin Bushaw Makeup by Jonathan Lively Direction by Deon Brown & Kevin Bushaw Models are (In order of appearance): Mike Munich Gil Rodriguez Stephen Burgi Cameron G. & Kevin A.

ADULT | GOSSIP | HOROSCOPES April 2013 www.IONAZ.com 121

by Sean Kapera SeanKaperaPhotography.com

Danny Lopes Actor & Model Los Angeles, CA Danny primarily does work in Horror Films, his latest short film Performance Anxiety is a gay interest comedy. Be sure to check it out!

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by Addison DeWitt

April Fools!

There’s no fool like an old fool.

That old fool would be me. But I’m not so old that I don’t recognize a purdy face when I see one. No, you can’t fool me.

A

There’s nothing like making an entrance. Or an exit. Only the divine Anthony Luna (A) can master both—at the same time! Publicly! And here he is! I think it’s from Sak’s Fifth Avenue or somewhere fancy. Or maybe it’s at Apollo’s “Sexiest Bartender Contest” I can never resist these darling little “hamburglars,” the pompadorable Dusty Brinsmade and the Most Beautiful Dental Hygienist in the World, Meghan Tokarik (B). How’d ya like to see their buns on a bed—of lettuce, that is. Yum!

B C

D

E

The dynamic Ed Schommer helped collect funds along with Charlie’s ginslinger Chase Clucas (C). Oh, my darlin’ Clementine! That rootin’ tootin’ strawberry blonde cowpoke always makes my Sarsaparilla extra fizzy, fuzzy, big ‘n’ buzzy.

F

In a fiercely fought contest, The Zoan’s

sex bomb Jacob Atkins brought it in spades with a crotch-sparking dance number along with Kasey Baker (D), who brought out the big bazookas with the breast intentions of taking home the same trophy she won in 2010. Casey’s striptease made me want to sing, “Climb Ev’ry Mountain”—a couple of times. It’s like watching “The Guns of Navarone.”

Two very, very big, gigantic, enormous, powerful, size 44DD guns. Bang! Bang!

Gentlemen prefer blondes!

Well ... and so do the ladies.

Personally, I’m pazzo for Stacey Black from Harley’s Italian Bistro who sashayed off with the award in the “Best Female” category. Why, “otter” pack home that scrumdiddlyumptious bartender from FEZ, that diminutive dynamo of pocketsize fun, Luke Blaine (E). Oh, Luke, Luke, Luke! I just wanna put you on a cracker, with a little bit of cream cheese, some marmalade—and eat you up with a quick flick of my little, pink tongue, you sexy little pierced pixie!

That contest may be over, but what some readers may not be aware of is “The Sexiest Barista Contest.” The winner is none other than the superhot Andrew Vogeny (F) from Urban Beans, who performed a sexy dance to Madonna’s “Espresso Yourself” at the grand opening of Tertio Wine Bar recently. He knows how to make my organic blood percolate. He can play with my démitasse anytime.

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A

in’t no fool like an old fool. A penny saved is a government oversight. The only thing that’s sure is Death and Taxes. The conjunction of five planets on April 9-10 causes celestial drama. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

Buddha’s birthday is April 8. Take this as an indicator to look for Enlightenment. Be a Zen Master: go to a hot dog cart and say, “Make me one with everything.” An important email comes with “attachments.”

Ommmm.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

Earth Day is April 22 and you’ll find yourself recycling: in this case, an ex-lover comes back. Is it useful this time, or is it still really trash? If it’s your birthday you’ll get something brand-new, out of the shop and never been rode. So ride it.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, and April is just a babbling idiot.

You’ll take control of a situation early in the month. It might require a little bitch-slapping but expect something good from it. Really good.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Your penny-pinching ways come in handy when it comes time to paying Uncle Sam or other debts this month. Open up those purse strings and splurge! Include somebody else and you may get a return for your investment.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

You’ve got Spring Fever! The sap is running high and you want to participate in some “pollination,” if you get my drift. Watch your pistils and stamens. Don’t give it up to the first busy bee to come along with a big stinger.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

and prevarications are entertaining, but someone is not amused. It’s time to ‘fess up and come clean. Your real life stories and the truth are more interesting. Even they sound far-fetched.

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

You’ll perform a feat of superhero proportions late in the month that will surprise you. You may not stop a locomotive or leap a tall building, but it’s something people will notice. Make sure you look good when you do it.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

You’ll prove you’re nobody’s fool this month when you cut to the meat of the matter when you’re presented with a tray of bullshit. Your friends applaud your skill. Just don’t be a jerk about it and keep reminding them.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

You’re feeling a little foolish early this April.

Don’t worry: you’ll have the last laugh in the long run when you impress others with your skills. People dig Sagittarians with skills.

Expect a reward at work.

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

A surprise expense pinches your purse but your budget emerges intact. You learn that there is such a thing as a free lunch when someone special asks you out and pays.

For everything! No strings attached!

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

A harmless prank blows up like a hillbilly’s rifle. Fortunately you’ve got a good sense of humor. Let’s just hope everybody else does. You’ll be vindicated for something amazing

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You’re a maniac, maniac out on the floor.

Dancing like you never danced before!

Everybody notices, so maybe it’s time to sit one or two out and enjoy some punch.

Otherwise you’ll need a chaperone. Believe me, you don’t want a chaperone.

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