ION Arizona #197

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BEARRACUDA

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THE ROCK

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OPEN WIDE DENTAL SAUSAGE FEST

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830 N. 1st Ave., Unit 203 Phoenix, AZ 85003 (602) 308-4662 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com PUBLISHER / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com EDITOR Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez PRODUCTION & ARTWORK SUBMISSIONS

ionazproduction@me.com

ADVERTISING SALES Jack Tesorero ............................................................ (602) 750-1164

jacktesorero@me.com

PHOTOGRAPHERS:

Franklin Diaz Alex Campos Fernando Hernandez

Scotty Kirby Tiffany Photography

Danny Catt

NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS:

Addison DeWitt C. Edwards Ted Kirby

Peter Lora Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger

Published monthly by

1995-2017: 22 Years of Design and Creative Excellence © 2017 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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SCREAM QUEENS WITH RAVEN AND INDIA FERRAH

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CLU B VO LT

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AUNT RITA’S AIDS WALK ARIZONA

Photos by Randy’s Vision Photograpy

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DOWNTOWN PHOENIX

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SILVER HALLOWEEN BLOCK PARTY

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BS WEST

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BLACKOUT PARTY

CHARLIE’S PHX

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Man’s (and Woman’s) Best Friend

Welcome to our 9th annual “Pets and the City” issue of ION Arizona sponsored by Tito’s Handmade Vodka. Thank you to everyone who submitted an application with their pictures and donated to the Joshua Tree Pet Assistance Program. We raised $1000 this year, twice as much as you helped us raise from last year! Their work helps those who are chronically or terminally ill keep their pets with them, because Joshua Tree believes you shouldn’t have to choose between feeding yourself or feeding your pet.

Thanks for your donations!

When I was a kid, I dreamed of being reincarnated as a dog. I’d get to sleep, eat, play all day with no work or school.

People would pet me and rub my belly.

Ahhh, the life! I can dream, can’t I? Pictured with me here are my lucky best friends, Olive Juice and Brinley. They have the life I dreamed of!

This month we see the return of Nearly Naked Theatre’s production of “The Little Dog Laughed” directed by Damon Dering.

It’s an audience favorite we’re glad to see again. Follow ION Arizona on Facebook where we’ll announce the next “ION Night at Nearly Naked Theatre” and you can get discounted tickets to see it with us!

Inside this issue of ION are tons of party cams from the Open Wide Dental Sausage Fest, Rainbows Festival, AIDS Walk Phoenix, the 25th Silver BS West Halloween Show and more. For even more great pictures, including those from CrazyShotz photo booths, go to IONAZ.com That’s it for me. I’m going to cuddle up with my best friends and binge watch Stranger Things on Netflix.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Inside we focus on Jose Santiago.

He’s the Public Information Officer for Maricopa County Animal Care & Control.

Jose’s got great information about how Jack Tesorero you can adopt a shelter pet friend (or Dog’s Best Friend two or three or ...) and why it’s especially critical to save these furry friends now.

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RAINBOWS FESTIVAL

Photos by CrazyShotz and

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HERITAGE SQUARE

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by Deon Brown 30

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Choose the Pet Adoption Option

with Jose Miguel Santiago A re you looking to live a longer, happier, healthier life? You can, and you don’t have to go to the gym, do push-ups, squats, do any bench presses or take any vitamins. How? Adopt a pet. Studies show that people who have pets live longer, healthier lives with a reduced risk of heart disease and less depression or anxiety.

You can find that miracle cure at your local animal shelter. Jose Miguel Santiago is the Public Information Officer at the Maricopa County Animal Care & Control.

Jose introduces himself saying, “I am the face and voice for the homeless

animals within our county shelter system.”

Jose is the advocate for big dogs, little dogs, young dogs, old dogs, and cats, cats, cats. “You can find loyal, quality pets at our shelter,” said Jose. “People are surprised to find animals that fit all lifestyles.” The shelters are clean and well-kept by a vigilant staff. “We’ve changed our image to show people we care and maintain the health of all our animals to find as many as possible life-long homes.”

The job has its perqs. “The most gratifying part of my job is when I see the dogs go home. I love that that simple selfie, or holding them during an interview with the media that gets them

Jose Miguel Santiago with Snickers and Champ plus Farrah Snickers is a terrier-mix Jose rescued from the Arizona Animal Welfare League. “My mother nicked-named him ‘The Ninja’ because he has no boundaries or limits on what he’ll jump or climb on. He’s constantly starved for attention.”

Champ is a Husky-Corgi mix Jose found wandering the streets of Phoenix, shaved bald with a rope tied around his neck and his name attached. “When he had no microchip and no one responded to ads, I officially adopted him. He’s a total joy and lover.”

Farrah is a rare, female orange tabby, rescued from the Arizona Humane Society who loves to be held and “talks” when you speak to her. She plays with her dog brothers and she’s convinced she’s a dog, too. She is the purr-fect cat.

You may recognize Jose as a former reporter for ABC Channel 15 here in Phoenix.

You can also often find Jose singing karaoke at Kobalt. He has a beautiful voice.

Seriously.

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a home,” Jose commented.

Sometimes lotteries are held for the “celebrity pets” who appear on Jose’s Facebook page or appear on TV. “There are very few jobs where you can see a tangible difference being made; I’m blessed to have one of those jobs.”

Jose offers some advice for pet adoptions: “This is a decision that could not only change your life—but the life of an animal. When you adopt from a shelter environment you are saving an animal’s life. For many of these animals this may be the first time they experience love from a human.”

Who can resist that kind of an offer for a creatures salvation?

It’s important to do your homework.

“Learn what type of pet matches your personality. Come into the shelter and speak to an adoption counselor to see if we have a match. Patience is key!

Just because you instantly love the animal doesn’t mean that the animal feels comfortable and secure with you just yet. Allow time for them to know they are safe in their new home and being loved and cared for.”

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to Jose: “I truly believe the animals who come from a shelter know and appreciate being rescued.” But who really rescues who? Pets aren’t our whole life, but they make our lives whole, as they say.

The best part: you and your pet friends can all look forward to nice, long, very healthy lives together ... without all those crunches at the gym or all those vitamins and tonics.

FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW: More than 35,000 dogs & cats enter the MCACC shelters each year. Sometimes up to 100 every day. Lots of hard work and love sees 94% of these little animals adopted.

There are two campuses in Maricopa County they’re currently over capacity.

The West Valley Campus has 600 animals of which 521 are dogs. It was built to house 350.

Adoption fees range from free to $150, and includes a collar, leash, harness, vaccinations, basic blood tests, license, spay/neuter and microchip. Cats are always free.

View pets up for adoption online at Pets.Maricopa.gov.

Volunteers and foster parents are always welcome.

LOCATIONS: West Campus: 2500 S. 27th Ave. south of Durango in Phoenix East Campus: 2630 W. Rio Salado Pkwy at the Loop 101 Freeway in Mesa HOURS: Mon-Fri 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

Sat. & Sun 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

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The Little Dog

Laughed

What’s the dish and who’s the spoon?

A movie star has a choice to make: be the top Hollywood earner... or be himself. photos by Laura Durant

N

early Naked Theatre’s 19th Season starts this month with a gleaming jewel in their returning hit series with the remount of The Little Dog Laughed, by Douglas Carter Beane, author of the stage play, As Bees in Honey Drown, the musical Xanadu and the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.

Follow the adventures of Mitchell Green, a movie star who could hit big ... if it weren’t for one teensyweensy problem: his agent, Diane, can’t seem to keep him in the closet. Trying to help him navigate Hollywood’s choppy waters, Diane is doing all she can to keep Mitchell away from the cute rentboy who’s caught his eye and the rentboy’s girlfriend. (Wait, the rent boy has a girlfriend?)

Nearly Naked presented the Arizona premiere of The Little Dog Laughed in 2009, and it was a surprise hit as word of mouth about the incredibly smart writing, wonderful performances and yes, the beautiful naked people spread and across the Valley. Politics being what they are today, the play has significant relevance regarding Hollywood’s strange taboos on who can earn what, and what’s expected of our cultural heroes.

“What I find most interesting about the play,” says Damon Dering, Nearly Naked’s artistic director, “is that it’s a kind of typical ‘coming out’ story told in a very unique, non-typical way. It’s really about one of the very few instances in modern America where the choice one has to make is to be a Movie Star, or be oneself. Most people can come out in America and still be whatever they want to be; doctors, lawyers, whatever ... but not if you what you want to be is a movie star. Then, the choice is much more difficult.”

This new incarnation of The Little Dog Laughed features a whole new cast, but the writing is just as smart, the performances are equally wonderful and yes, the sexy actors are just as naked.

The Little Dog Laughed opens on Saturday, November 18 and runs Thursdays through Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays at 6 p.m. or 2 p.m. alternating, until Saturday, December 2. (Matinee on Sunday, November 26 at 2:30 p.m.)

Tickets start at $22. Reserve yours by calling Phoenix Theatre’s box office at 602-254-2151. For additional information contact Nearly Naked Theatre at 602274-2432 or visit us online at NearlyNakedTheatre.org for more details and information.

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RAINBOWS FESTIVAL

HERITAGE SQUARE

Photos by CrazyShotz

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by Yasmine Kennedy

Proud to be Me: La’Tithea Gay

P

rogramming and Activities Board (PAB) Director of Special Events, La’Tithea Gay, reflects on the transformation she’s made over the past ten years.

La’Tithea, 24-yearsold, is a sophomore at ASU majoring in social work; her spare time is occupied by homework, Confetti—an LGBT+ club, and PAB, where she oversees creating events for the college experience. Her knowledge is from four years of Student Government.

Finding an LGBT Club wasn’t easy.

There was a group on the Tempe and West campus, but not Downtown, so during spring semester of 2017 La’Tithea’s created one. “Confetti” is an LGBT+ group that focuses on equality, inclusiveness and safety for all lesbians, gay and bisexuals.

“We (ASU) didn’t have one (LGBT org.)

Downtown and I didn’t think that made any sense since one•n•ten and the LGBT Consortium is right around the corner. I wanted to start a safe space downtown for LGBT youth.”

Confetti member and PAB Assistant Director of Special Events, Yuka Amemiya said, “La’Tithea always thinks of others first. If someone looks sad or angry she’ll always ask if we’re okay and what she can do to help us.”

Growing up, La’Tithea knew she

wasn’t like many people from her hometown, Akron, Ohio. When she moved to Arizona for high school she witnessed everyone’s openness about their orientation.

When talking about coming out, La’Tithea remembers being outrageous. Her family is conservative, and wasn’t understanding of who she was becoming during high school. She lost her passion because of that.

“My circle was pretty small before college. I waited four years to start because after (my falling out with) my mom, everyone pretty much stopped talking to me, and I was having selfesteem issues; I was really by myself.

I didn’t have any type of support,” La’Tithea teared up as she talked about her loneliness.

After the four-year mark, she met her now fiancée who pushed her back into school, and that’s when things changed.

She reconciled with her mother after two years of silence, and she started having relationships with her family and friends again.

La’Tithea’s on track to graduate in 2020 and plans to open a Queer Youth Center in five years.

“As horrendous as my life was growing up, getting to this point I really wouldn’t do anything any differently.” You can see why she’s considered a leader at ASU. Search for “Confetti” on Facebook. They have weekly meetings on Fridays at 5 p.m at the ASU Downtown Student Center.

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Tito’s Handmade Vodka lends a helping hand.

Cheers to

Giving Back!

The team at Tito’s Handmade Vodka believes they’re meant to make the world a better place. They just happen to use their celebrated (and tasty!) vodka as their medium since Tito himself began making it back in 1992. When he decided to really go for it in the spirits business, he started supporting charity events—one bottle at a time, and it’s been the same way ever since.

You’ll always find everyone’s spirits are high when the spirituous Tito’s Handmade Vodka is being poured.

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gave to local and national charities by supporting Hurricane Harvey disaster relief funding in their native Texas. They also give to charities protecting the environment, encouraging community enrichment, education, helping military and veterans, plus the American Red Cross, assisting in healthcare and medical research, celebrating at music festivals as well as a variety of arts and cultural organizations. As advocates for responsible pet ownership, Tito’s Handmade Vodka supports programs to rescue, spay and neuter pets with

Emancipate.org, as well as working to abolish puppy mills and encourage the adoption of shelter pets.

Tito’s Handmade Vodka also proudly believes in supporting and encouraging their LGBTQ friends across the nation. They are the official vodka sponsor for the annual gala of New York City Gay Men’s Chorus.

Here in the desert, Tito’s Handmade Vodka helps share their own brand of love all over Phoenix. For two years in a row they’ve been the title sponsor for the annual Sexiest Bartender Contest and ION Arizona’s “Pets in the City” feature, as well as sponsoring the Open Wide Dental Sausage Fest, Splash Bash and Phoenix Pride Festival and their Rainbows Festival.

They’ve had a lot of help from within their own rank and file. From the day Arizona local Courtney Bennett joined the Tito’s Handmade Vodka team as Area Manager, she’s actively helped make a difference.

“Love has always been at the heart of this company,” said Courtney.

“Folks connect with the brand on a deep level more so now through all of our philanthropic efforts across all markets. We’re honored to work and spread the love not only within the Arizona LGBT community, but also among many others in need.”

Adding a little spirit by giving back is something we can all say, “Cheers!” to year ‘round. Why? Because Tito’s Handmade Vodka believes in spreading the Love. Together we can all help make the world a better place.

That’s something to raise your glass to. (Just make sure it’s filled with Tito’s Handmade Vodka—and always remember to drink responsibly.)

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Bunkhouse BBQs & Buffets & Birthdays Wet your whistle and grab a plate! The Bunkhouse’s spreads are legendary, so forget your diet! Nov. 4 - Bears if the West BBQ, Nov. 11 - Veteran’s Day BBQ., Nov. 12 - Luau Anniversary Party, Nov. 23 - Thanksgiving Buffet, and Don’t forget Scotty’s birthday bash on Nov. 24 4428 N. 7th Ave. Now, mind your manners!

Cruisin’ 7th’s 40th Anniversary Since 1977 they’ve been known for showing everyone how to have a good time! Join the celebration November 1012. Catch the Kick-Off show with Nikki & Olivia on Friday, the Super Hunk Happy Hour plus Drag & Comedy on Saturday, and brunch on Sunday with a special show. Special appearances, giveaways, promos, a Fireball luge and fun, fun, fun! 3702 N. 7th St. in Phoenix. Cruisin7th.com (See ad on p. 14)

Big Gay Wednesdays at Film Bar Discover the queer and kooky side of cinema! Don’t miss Big Gay Wednesdays at Film Bar. The zany comedy Girls Will Be Girls is screening on Wednesday, November 15 at 7:30. The Drag Roast of Sherry Vine will leave scandalized audiences gasping for air!

Take advantage of Wine Wednesday while you’re there. Film Bar, 815 N. 2nd St. in Phoenix. TheFilmBarPhx.com (See ad on p. 60)

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Mr. FLEX Leather Competition Hey, men! Think you’ve got what it takes? Grab your leather gear and strut your stuff in this erotic contest.

Get your registration packets now through Nov. 16.

The contest is November 18 with a Leather & Fetish After Party. Celebrate with a Victory Cookout and Tea Dance on Nov. 19. It all happens at FLEX Spas Phoenix, 1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy in Phoenix.

(See ad p. 90)

NOVEMBER 2017 ION EVENTS DATE EVENT LOCATION CITY Daily Poker OZ Bar Phoenix Fridays Angels & Demons Go Go Boys Los Diablos Phoenix Sat &Sun Brunch or Liquid Brunch 2601 on Central Phoenix Weds Undie Night with Chris The Rock Phoenix Sundays Bingo OZ Bar Phoenix Sundays Sunday Funday NFL Sunday Ticket Plazma Phoenix Sundays Tailgate Parties Los Diablos Phoenix 4 Open-Minded Wedding Expo Hilton Garden Inn Phoenix 4 Bears of the West BBQ Bunkhouse Phoenix 4 Beer Olympics Charlie’s Phoenix 7 Charlie’s 33rd Anniversary Celebration Charlie’s Phoenix 9 Red, White & Skate Great Skate Glendale 10-12 Cruisin’ 7th Anniversary Weekend Cruisin’ 7th Phoenix 10 Veteran’s Day Vaquero Dance Karamba’s Phoenix 11 Jen’s Birthday Bash The Cash Phoenix 11 MEAT: Veteran’s Day Party Charlie’s Phoenix 11 AML Club Night / Blackout Party Anvil Phoenix 11 Military Ball Karamba’s Phoenix 11 Veteran’s Day BBQ Bunkhouse Phoenix 12 Anniversary Luau Party Bunkhouse Phoenix 15 Girls Will Be Girls Film Bar Phoenix 17 Pups & Handlers Night Anvil Phoenix 17 Ignite Drama-Rama Movie Night Parson Ctr. Phoenix 17 Bourbon Strut The Cash Phoenix 17-18 Get Stuffed Thanksgiving Bash Dick’s Cabaret Phoenix 18 Wax A Bear Fundraiser Anvil Phoenix 18-19 Mr. FLEX Leather Competition FLEX Spas Phoenix 22 Thanksgiving Pre-Party Dick’s Cabaret Phoenix 22 The Drag Roast of Sherry Vine Film Bar Phoenix 22 Carnaval Latino Karamba Phoenix 23 Thanksgiving Buffet Bunkhouse Phoenix 24 Scotty’s 50th Birthday Bash Bunkhouse Phoenix 25 Great Gatsby Party Charlie’s Phoenix 25 PBOL Gear Night Anvil Phoenix 26 Paint Night The Cash Phoenix DECEMBER 2 Red Brunch Sheraton Grand Phoenix 2 Weekend Complimentary Cereal Bar Bar1 Phoenix 31 Bearracuda The Rock Phoenix November 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 49

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Thanksgiving Eve with Barbra at The Rock Before the Thanksgiving feeding frenzy starts the next day and you have to deal with your dysfunctional family, join Barbra Seville for a special show co-starring Adrienne Alexander and Kira Daniels. You won’t get any turkey and stuffing, but you will be entertained by these saucy cranberries.

It all happens on Wednesday, November 22 at The Rock, 4129 N. 7th St. in Phoenix. Bring the whole dysfunctional family! Make your reservations now at TheRockDMPhoenix.com.

NOVEMBER 2017 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME Thurs 2 Fri 10 10:30pm Sat 11 10:00pm Sun 12 12:00pm Wed 15 7:00pm Wed 15 Sat 18 6:00pm Sun 19 Wed 22 10:00pm Wed 22 10:00pm Wed 22 Thurs 23 Fri 24 10:00pm Mondays 10:00pm Tuesday 10:00pm Tuesdays 11:00pm Wednesdays 10:00pm Wednesdays 10:30pm Wednesdays 10:00pm 1st & 3rd Thurs 9pm Thursdays 10:30pm Thursdays 10:00pm 1st & 3rd Fri 10:30pm 2nd & 4th Fri 10:30pn Fridays 10:00pm Fridays 10:30 Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 9:00pm Saturdays 10:30pm Saturdays 10:30pm Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 9:30pm 1st Sunday 2:00pm 2nd & 4th Sun 2:00pm Sundays 8:30pm Sundays 7:00pm 3rd Sunday 2:00pm

LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Karamba Ruby’s Night of the Dead Cruisin’ 7th Cruisin’ 40th Anniversary Weekend Kick Off Show Cruisin’ 7th Drag/Camp/Comedy Show with Tunsa, Lady Christian & More Cruisin’ 7th Owners Brunch / Showtime 1pm with Trixxie, Ms. Page & More FilmBar Girls Will Be Girls Screening Karamba Comedy & Dolls Show with Adriana Karamba 5th Annual Drag Dream with TQP Karamba Diva Las Vegas Show with Adriana The Rock A Thanksgiving Eve Show with Barbra, Adrienne & Kira FilmBar The Drag Roast of Sherry Vine AZ Premiere Screening Karamba Carnaval Latino with special appearance by Britney Cartier Karamba Thanksgiving Show & Party The Rock Lady Christian’s Trailer Trash Revue Charlie’s Claudia B & Coco St. James - The Strip Factor Karamba Savannah Moussier’s Show Club Volt Valentina’s Cantina with Valentina Knowles Club Volt T Party hosted by Gia DeMilo Karamba Karamba Girls - Adriana Galiano & Karime Lizaldi Charlie’s Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Cruisin’ 7th Camping Out with the Southern Belles Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Charlie’s Coco St. James’ Neon Party Cruisin’ 7th Olivia’s Garden Party Cruisin’ 7th Nikki at Night with Nikki Knowles Club Volt 4Some Revue with Miley, Gia, Piper & Luna The Rock Special Event Rotating Drag Shows Plazma New Times Best Drag Show Freaky Fridays with Celia Putty BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Club Vlt Volt Vixxxens with Naomi St. James & Mia Adams Cruisin’ 7th Lady Christian’s Lady & the Tramps The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show Cruisin’ 7th Excuse Our Beauty Revue Cruisin’ 7th Cruisin’ for a Cause Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends BS West The Showgirl Follies Big Sexy Show Cruisin’ 7th The Morning After with Trixxie Deluxxe November 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 51

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Ani DiFranco Bisexual. This Angry Woman-slash-Folk-Alt Rock singer brings her socio-political music to the stage on Wednesday, November 15 to The Van Buren, 401 W. Van Buren St. in Phoenix. Visit TheVanBurenPHX.com for more info.

For tickets visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000

Morrissey He’s “humasexual,” he says. The brooding poster boy for sensitive gay boys isn’t gay, sorry kids. The one-time front man for The Smiths comes to town on Thursday, November 16 at the Marquee Theatre, 730 N. Mill Ave. in Tempe. For tickets call 480-839-0707 or visit LuckyManOnline.com

Tori Amos Straight, but we proclaim her an Honorary Lesbian. (Those gals go crazy for Tori!) Catch this brilliant, fiery-haired artist on Wednesday, November 29 at the Mesa Arts Center, 1 E. Main St. in Mesa. Tickets: MesaArtsCenter.com or call 480-644-6500

NOVEMBER 2017 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE ARTIST 4 Animaniacs LIVE 5 Thrice + Circa Survive 8 Yelle 8 Matisyahu 9 Ashanti 11 AZ Hip Hop Festival 14 Time Flies 15 Ani DiFranco 16 Morrissey 18 Fall Out Boy 18 Jason Derulo 26 Kishi Bashi 29 Tori Amos 30 The Chainsmokers

LOCATION Rialto Theatre - Tucson Mesa Amphitheater Crescent Ballroom - Phoenix Rialto Theatre - Tucson Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix Comerica Theatre - Phx Marquee Theatre - Tempe The Van Buren Marquee Theatre - Tempe Talking Stick Resort Arena - Phx The Pool at Talking Stick Resort.

Valley Bar - Phoenix

Mesa Arts Ctr. - Mesa Rawhide - Chandler

PHONE 800-745-3000 480-644-2560 602-716-2222 800-745-3000 602-267-1600 800-745-3000 480-839-0707 800-745-3000 480-839-0707 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 877-987-6487 480-644-2560 480-502-5600

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The River Bride

Two sisters living in a small fishing village in the Amazon struggle to find love. A stranger pulled from the river offers the sisters an alluring, possibly dangerous future in this lyrical tale of love, regret and transformation from Arizona Theatre Co. TUCSON: thru Nov. 11. Temple of Music & Art, 330 S. Scott Ave. TIX: 520-622-2823 ● PHX: Nov. 29-Dec. 2, Herberger Theatre, 222 E. Monroe.

Tix: 602-256-6995 or visit ArizonaTheatre.org

The Bodyguard

Based on the film, dance hit club diva and LGBT ally Deborah Cox (who voiced Houston’s singing in the 2015 Lifetime TV biopic) takes on the Whitney Houston role in this romantic jukebox musical thriller. November 28-December 3 at ASU Gammage 1200 S. Forest Ave. Tempe. For tix call 480-965-3434 or visit ASUgammage.com

NOVEMBER 2017 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE

EVENT

COMPANY

3-5 RENT UofA Centennial Hall - Tucson thru 4 Building the Wall iTheatre Collaborative thru 5 Something Rotten! ASU Gammage - Tempe 5 Matt Bellassai StandUp LIVE - Phx thru 11 Man of La Mancha AZ B’way Theatre - Peoria thru 11 The River Bride AZ Theatre (Tucson) thru 12 Hedwig & the Angry Inch Phoenix Theatre thru 12 Seven Guitars Black Theatre Troupe - Phx 12 Proof Mesa Encore Theatre 15-31 Newsies Phoenix Theatre 16-12/3 The River Bride AZ Theatre (Phx) 18 David Sedaris Orpheum Theatre - Phx 24-12/30 A Bloody Mary Christmas 24-12/30 South Pacific AZ B’way Theatre 24-12/9 Mercury Stray Cat Theatre 28-12/3 The Bodyguard ASU Gammage DECEMBER

1-3 1-13 1-10 2-31 5-10

Anjelah Johnson StandUp LIVE - Phx Twelfth Night SW Shakespeare Co. - Scotts.

Black Nativity Black Theatre Troupe - Phx Man of La Mancha AZ Theatre (Tucson) Cinderella UofA Centennial Hall - Tucson

PHONE

844-765-8432 602-258-9481 480-964-3434 480-719-6100 623-776-8400 520-622-2823 602-254-2151 602-258-8129 480-644-6500 602-254-2151 602-256-6995 602-262-6225 Space55.org 623-776-8400 480-227-1766 480-965-3434 480-719-6100 480-435-6868 602-258-8129 520-622-2823 844-765-8432

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SATURDAY NIGHT STARLETTS

IBTS

PARTY CAM

Photos by Danny Catt

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Around the World Murder on the Orient Express

Starring: Kenneth Branagh, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp and most of Hollywood.

Branagh (My Week with Marilyn) directs and stars as Belgian super sleuth Hercule Poirot in a fourth adaptation of Agatha Christie’s 1934 classic “whodunit.”

The nasty Mr. Ratchett is killed aboard the famous luxury train. Who offed him?

Could it be the Swedish missionary? The conductor?

The famous actress? Or the chauffeur? Or ...

This thrilling, costume-heavy, big name opus shouldn’t disappoint. If successful there may be sequels.

Opens November 10

Coco

Voiced by: Anthony Gonzalez, Benjamin Bratt, Gael Garca Bernal Disney/Pixar Miguel (newcomer Gonzalez) longs to be a musician despite his family’s anti-music prohibition. The naïve Pinocchio youth meets up with trickster Hector/ “Coco,” (Bernal, Fidel) who leads him on a psychedelic journey through the Land of the Dead, unlocking the century old antimusic mystery.

Opens November 22

Call Me By Your Name

Starring: Armie Hammer, Timothe Chalamet, Michael Stuhlbarg

Picture it: Italy. 1983. A young Italian-American Jewish boy lives with his parents in a romantic villa in Italy. A handsome American scholar comes to study with the boy’s father. Do you know what happened to those boys, Dorothy?

Yes. Precocious, dorky, (hot!) 17-year-old Elio (Chalamet, Homeland) develops feelings for the dashing, visiting scholar, Oliver (Hammer, The Social Network). Understandably so. A powerful love story gently unfolds.

The famous, explicitly erotic “Peach Scene” from the novel the film is based on is not included. (Look it up. Oh. My. God!) Producer/director Luca Guadignino chose to focus on the universality of first love, that one other person makes you beautiful.

The screenplay is written by film giant James Ivory (of Merchant-Ivory fame.

See Remains of the Day or Room with a View if you haven’t already) so expect an emotional, beautiful script. Early reviews and audiences are raving.

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by Peter Lora pintelonegro@gmail.com

Jessie Ware

Glasshouse

If you don’t know who Jessie Ware is yet, think of a cross between Sade and Adele at her most subtle.

The British vocal powerhouse is back with her third and most personal album yet, chronicling her marriage and newfound motherhood. Like her two previous albums, this one offers a mix of accessible pop and straight up soul. Lead single and album opener “Midnight” is hauntingly soulful.

“Bennie and the Jets” meets Mariah in her 90’s prime. “First Time” is a fuzzy and dreamy ballad, the style Ware’s best known for. She borrows from Sade in the sexy, Latin infused “Selfish Love,” a “Smooth Operator” for the Instagram lifestyle set. Where other divas seem increasingly inhuman and out of touch, Jessie Ware manages to keep it simple with her approach of refreshing and elegant restraint. Glasshouse is a mustlisten. Available Now

St. Vincent

Masseduction It’s often said that rock n’ roll, the guitar driven genre born out of the mid-century love affair between Black Americans and their British progenies is dead. Rock is not dead, it’s in the hands of women, namely St. Vincent, a guitar prodigy born Annie Clark, Oklahoma born and Texas raised. As St. Vincent, Clark has released some of the most

Aural Fixation

poignant and intriguing albums of the last decade, garnishing her accolades along with the attention of the fashion world.

Every album seemed like an evolutionary step, with people calling her “the female Bowie,” or ”the female Prince.” What seemed like an indie wonder became a tabloid fodder with her very public love affairs with supermodel Cara Delevigne and actress Kristen Stewart.

With Masseduction, (pronounced Mass Seduction, get it?) gives us eye into the world she now inhabits.

She tackles the coasts with the piano ballad “New York” and the tongue in cheek, thumping electro pop “Los Ageless.” Both tracks seem to harbor her feelings about each city and her friends and lovers that inhabit them.

“Pills” takes on her brief drug abuse in a humorous jingle that appropriately evolves into Pink Floydesque psychedelia. With this album Clark seems to have grown into her own hype, marrying her mastery to the misery of her newfound fame. Available Now King Krule

THE DL SONGS TO DOWNLOAD ARTIST - SONG King Krule – “Biscuit Town” HAIM – “That Don’t Impress Me Much” BØRNS – “Sweet Dreams” Burial – “Rodent” Kelela – “Waitin’” Fever Ray – “To The Moon and Back” BadBadNotGood – “I Don’t Know” Moses Sumney – “Don’t Bother Calling” Ibeyi – “I Wanna Be Like You” yeaji – “Drink I’m Sippin’ On” November 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 63

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Androids & l’Amour plots, the stupendous series keeps you on your toes. (Endless online forums help solve—or create— theories.)

Westworld, season one, (2016) Starring: Ed Harris, Anthony Hopkins, Evan Rachel Woods, James Marsden, Jeffrey Woods This twist on the American movie western gets a sci-fi treatment. Based on the 1973 film written and directed by Michael Crichton (Jurassic Park) we’re introduced to co-founder Dr. Ford’s (Hopkins, Silence of the Lambs) theme park in the not so distant future populated by hyper-realistic animatronic citizens, or “hosts,” where everyday is a kind of Groundhog Day. Filthy rich visitors witness repeated daily bank robberies, stagecoach holdups, visit the saloon and bed a floozie, and kill sentient androids—the favorite pastime of the Man In Black (Harris, Snowpiercer), a sadistic veteran guest.

There’s a wrinkle in the robotic programming when the wholesome host Dolores Abernathy (Woods, Across the Universe), her eternally doomed beau Teddy Flood (Marsden, 27 Dresses) and whorehouse madame Maeve Millay, (Thandie Newton, The Pursuit of Happyness) start to realize that they’re all part of a bizarre plot, remembering alternative realities and getting a little (a lot) out of control. Big problem.

Despite confusing, bizarre and baffling

Considered one of the best TV series ever, these ten big budget episodes made this the most watched first season of any HBO series, guaranteeing high viewership when the series returns in Spring, 2018.

Release date: Nov 7 ★★★★★

Lost in Paris (2016)

Starring: Fiona Gordon Frumpy Fiona, (Gordon) a small town librarian from frozen Canada, gets a belated letter from her dotty old Aunt Martha in Paris, enlisting her help to avoid being committed to a state-run home for seniors.

Fiona arrives in the City of Lights to discover no Aunt Martha while everything unravels spectacularly, not thanks to an eccentric tramp.

The same fantastical feeling of Wes Anderson’s (Grand Budapest Hotel, Moonrise Kingdom) pictures flavor this hilarious, heartwarming charmer.

Peppered with slapstick visuals, don’t be put off by the French with English subtitles. You won’t regret this fast, upbeat, goofy gem.

Release date: Nov 28 ★★★★☆

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You Can Bet On

Armadillo Grill Y

ou’ve probably noticed that lately some of the hot, hip, new restaurants that were predicted to set Phoenix on fire fizzled out. It’s a tough business, and you have to have something great to offer as well as a mighty tough shell to survive. A lot like an armadillo.

Maybe that’s why the Armadillo Grill has been so successful and stood the test of time. As a matter of fact, the comfortable, casual dining café and bar has been in the same place for 20 years now. That’s a rock solid testament in itself.

The menu isn’t some gastronomically exotic, pretentious or bombastic piece of work. You won’t find any teensy portions of pompous “artisanal” or “curated” or “hand selected” or “deconstructed” food stuff. What you can expect is a hearty variety of honest to goodness vittles you’re bound to like. (Full disclosure: it’s been one of my favorite spots for years for that very reason alone.)

Recipes have evolved and been adapted by Chef Azael Becerra who started at the grill as a line cook in 1998. A little bit of everything from everywhere peppers the menu, reminiscent of “down home” cooking with something for everyone.

If you’ve got a yen for a little bit of fire to start with, try the Louisiana Shrimp. You’ll get a large plate of sautéed baby shrimp and peppers in a spicy (and we mean spicy!)

Louisiana style sauce served with toast for dipping. The fiery, vinegar and pepper based (I suspect) Tabasco sauce isn’t for the faint of heart. $9.99

Don’t miss out on their fantastic Fried Pickles. Have them sliced instead of served as spears. These fat, battered and deep-fried gherkins are plentiful, so you’ll have plenty to share. Choose your choice of regular or Cajun spiced. $7.99. These are the best I’ve had besides those served in New Orleans.

Yelp reviews are spot on, claiming the ‘dillo’s luscious pickles are Number 1 in Phoenix.

The 7 Banded Armadillo Salad is one of the most imaginatively presented salads we’ve ever seen. You’ll get a platter of chilled, chopped iceberg lettuce topped with with grilled

chicken, Cheddar cheese, bacon, tomatoes, egg, black olives and cucumbers, laid side by side in “bands.” (Mixing it together is part of the fun!) $9.99

been frozen, waiting to be zapped in a microwave. A variety of beloved, housemade, homestyle entrées like Smothered Chicken, Fish and Chips, or Dillo’s Meatloaf are begging for your fork. When was the last time you saw Russian hallmark Beef Stroganoff on a menu? Luscious, wide, egg noodles are blanketed with with a rich, creamy, mushroom-heavy sauce and loaded with tender, juicy cubed steak.

You can get other traditional salads like the Wedge or Caesar Salad. You can add chicken, calamari, shrimp or salmon for a reasonable upcharge.

You don’t have to be vegetarian to love the Pasta Primavera, fresh vegetables including tomatoes, broccoli, carrots, mushrooms and seasonal vegables in a light white wine cream sauce over linguini. Only $10.99

If you’ve worked up a sizable appetite, scoot your chair right up to the table.

Everything is made to order here. You won’t find anything that tastes like it’s

One speciality is the Del Mar Tacos, three corn tortillas topped with breaded and fried, flavorful basa and finished with cabbage and pico de gallo. Served

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with refried beans, and Spanish rice. It’s almost like being in Southern Cali.

If you don’t want the fish fried, try it blackened. $10.99 You’ll feel like you’re in the City of Brotherly Love when you sink your teeth into the Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich with either lean, chopped beef or chicken with cheese, grilled and stuffed inside a warm hoagie roll. It comes with your choice of toppings.The beef is succulent and tender. You might not share. $12.99 The kitchen has a Gluten Free menu and you can make any of their sandwiches or pastas gluten free for just $1 more.

The Armadillo Grill’s interior has the clubby feel of a “fern bar,” with Hunter

Green walls. It’s the perfect place to catch up on your favorite sport with around 25 televisions suspended over the central island bar and on the walls.

Feel like playing the ponies?

An off-track betting window is discretely located near the dining room if you’re feeling lucky. Armadillo Grill is a popular place for the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Breeders’ Cup while they also broadcast races at the toniest tracks in America, like those in Saratoga and Santa Anita. You never know!

Don’t just curl up in a ball. Scurry over to the friendly Armadillo Grill and enjoy yourself with the friendly folks there. (But if you’re not in the mood: good news! You can have the fine fare delivered via Uber Eats or Amazon Prime Now Restaurant Delivery!)

It’s “‘Dillo Delightful!”

1904 E. Camelback Rd. in Phoenix Phone: 602-287-0700 MyArmadilloGrill.com

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There are roughly 393 million pets in the United States. About 90 million pets are dogs and 94 million are cats. Yep. We love our pet friends! Here’s just a few of those pets in the city ... and their people, too.

Photos by Franklin Diaz. Text by Deon Brown

Donald Smith with Max Donald, a Lifestyle Director, Spectrum Community Association, rescued Max, a White Shepherd Husky Mix, now 1-yearold from One by One Animal Rescue when he was just a young pup.

“Oh, Maxi-Boy and his dog park adventures— his favorite thing.

Max likes to make his rounds to the groups of people and say, ‘What’s up?’ So the next time you’re at Hance Dog Park, just be ready for that Max-Boy kiss, now only if I can get away with that with the boys ... hmmm ...” speculates Donald.

Max has has a positive spirit and loves life. Through a lot of patience and positive reinforcement training, Max has become an awesome dog and companion. “That’s my Maxi-Boy!” November 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 71

Dave Shafer and Gary Buce with Sarge and Pippin Pippin is a 4-year-old terrier mix and Sarge is a 7-month old American BulldogBoxer mix.

The rough and tumble Sarge likes to drag the brave little pipsqueak Pippin throughout the house when they are playing tug-o’-war. They are both loving, friendly dogs who love to do things together. Gary works as an IT Program Manager and Dave is a social worker for mentally ill adults. They like doing things together, too.

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Greg with Whitey Whitey is a spoiled and domesticated Malamute ... but who wants to tell their age? He was rescued from the busy streets of Phoenix traffic by Greg, a Deputy Custodian of Records, and Alan, a teacher (not pictured).

Whitey loves to sing if you’ll howl along with him. His favorite treats are baked delights, biscotti, mini chunks, jerky cuts, but most of all fortune cookies and gelato! (Someone needs to go on a diet.)

If you say, “Do you wanna go pooka?” He knows what that means and runs for the door.

Sounds like a good idea! We wanna go, too! Whatever “pooka” is!

Richard Feist & Finn Known as “The American Gentleman,” the highly pedigreed Finn is a Boston Terrier was a birthday gift almost two years ago. He was born far from Beantown, however, in nearby Mesa. His fancy father is Sir Reginald XVII, a Champion Boston Terrier. Finn is a champion, too, in his own way.

“Finn doesn’t have a tail, so when he gets excited and sees his friends, new people, or fed he shakes his butt, then pushes it onto whoever’s around.”

Finn’s favorite activities include opening his monthly BarkBox, going to the dog park to be chased by all the big dogs, and playing with his fidget spinner to calm his nerves after a hectic day.

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Jon Cameron with Zac and Chapo Zac is a fun-loving, goofy, 14-year-old Labradoodle. Chapo is a happy, 3-year-old Pit Bull. Both dogs were gifts to Jon. They’re all best friends, and jog together where they’re quite a sight to see! The pooches visit nursing homes when they’re not acting keeping guard of the 100-year-old Hotel Cornelia that Jon’s restoring in Ajo, Arizona, where he’s a realtor.

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Scott Rogers with Gus “I like to say I ‘rescued’ him from a friend who had a designer dog collecting habit. Gus’s personality didn’t jive with the other dogs’. I watched him and couldn’t let him go,” says Scott.

This French Bulldog shares his birthday with the anniversary of the passing of Scott’s best friend, Marisa. “If there’s such a thing as kismet, Gus is it! He made that date a happy one.”

Gus understands most of Scott’s ramblings, including his friends’ names. Show him a balloon, and he’ll go berzerk. “His peers encouraged him to use Instagram but he’s not that prolific with the selfies ... yet.” Look for him @imgusthefrenchie.

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John Sills and Mark Bramhall with Peaches Peaches is a 3-year-old PapillonChihuahua mix. She came into John and Mark lives on Valentine’s Day 2016. They adopted her from Pee Wee’s Pals Pet Rescue who saved her from animal control where she was slated to be euthanized.

Together for six years, John is a clinical social worker and Mark is in senior leadership for a national retailer. Peaches has four siblings, including three cats (Spook, Butters and Ginger) and Puffy, a bearded dragon. Peaches would like to eat all her siblings if she could but for now she has let them live.

For now...

David Simmons with Peanut Little Peanut is a Maltese-Poodle mix, was rescued from a puppy mill in West Phoenix.

“He was malnourished and very ill when he was rescued. I thought I might lose him,” says David. Now Peanut’s healthy and loves to cuddle, play fetch and tug-o’-war.

He’s happiest spying out of the front window. “He’s a doggie ‘Mrs. Kravitz’ and wants to know what going on in the neighborhood,” laughs David. The apple doesn’t fall from the the tree. His daddy is, coincidentally, a City Planner and Community Advocate who always knows what’s going on in neighborhoods, too.

Matt Newton and TC Curvin Olivia and Raquel are two stunning Buff Orphington hens Matt and TC adopted as chicks at a hay and feed store. In addition, they’ve got a Bard Rock and three Austrolorp hens, plus a few dogs and cats.

Matt says, “I was drawn to the oddity of chickens in the city. Raising them fit with my gardening efforts, and the fresh eggs are good, too. I can’t imagine not having them.”

TC remembers, “I was just minding my business when Matt comes in and says ‘Hey ...’ and right then I knew I was in trouble!”

Just remember: don’t put all your eggs in one basket or count your chickens before they hatch. Not a good idea.

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Lexie with Leo Lexie is a kick-ass, nose-to-the-grindstone veterinary technician. Her beautiful boy is named Leonidus—but she calls him Leo. He’s a 4-year-old Pit Bull who came to Lexie’s emergency hospital with dog bites and fighting wounds.

“I fell in love with him. When he was sleeping that night I sat on the floor in front of his cage while I had dinner,” says Lexie. “I’ve been blessed to be his fur mom for the past two years. After all he endured, you can see why he deserved saving and, more importantly, the Universe saw fit that I was worth saving as well.”

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Tom Jones & Jay Olson with Romy Always remember to look both ways before crossing the street, kids! Tom, a realtor, and Jay, a first year medical school student saved Romy, a Chihuahua-Bull Terrier mix from disaster when she wandered into the street, right into traffic.

Romy has a flair for drama, naturally. Her notorious drag queen alter-ego is “Sarah Jessica Barker.”

Micky with Charming Charlie When Charming Charlie, an American Pit Bull doesn’t realize just how big he is. Taking him for a walk can be a challange because he just wants to go, go, go.

“I think that he was a go-go dancer in a prior life. He’s 6-years-old, but still thinks that he’s a puppy,” says Micky. Charming Charlie doesn’t realize that size matters when he decides to jump on your lap or onto the table for scraps.

(He’s not picky about what’s on the menu.)

Jill Hovey with Comet, Cupid, Rudolph & Blitzen Everything’s gone to the dogs at Jill’s home. Comet is a Beagle/Boxer, Cupid is Chihuahua/Miniature Greyhound, Rudolph is a Beagle/Daschund—all rescues—and Blitzen, a Jack Russell/Chihuahua was a lost little street dog who followed these happy gals home from a walk because he needed a family. And, boy, did he get one!

“I love my girls—and Rudolph—oh, so very much! We all like shoes, chasing cars, and Christmas.” Who doesn’t?

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Lena Orosco with Ziggy Stardust Lena adopted Ziggy, a Chihuahua mix from the Arizona Animal Welfare League.

“My heart was set on adopting a special doggy who was not likely to be adopted, and needed extra love and attention. He’d been surrendered on two separate occasions, and was a ‘long-timer’ at the shelter. He only needed a little patience, understanding—and an owner with a great sense of humor. I like to think that I understand his various ‘Ziggy-isms.’ We have an in-depth understanding that’s all our own,” says Lena.

“Don’t overlook senior pets, or those who have behavioral issues and need a little extra TLC. They’re just as loving, and are often just waiting for the person who can smile at their quirks. Adopt don’t shop!”

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Mark Leeper & Kyle Swanner with Maverick Maverick, a Golden Retriever is a rambunctious puppy who keeps Mark, Phoenix Pride Board President and Analyst, and Kyle, a manager at Chili’s, on the go!

He took second place in the “Paws for a Cause” fundraiser for AIDS Walk Arizona 2017. “He loves water and often digs in his water bowl, which was cute ... at first. He also has an unhealthy relationship with toilet paper rolls,” sighs Mark.

He loves going hiking and camping expeditions. He lives with three other little dogs, contributing to his own illusion that he is a small dog. You can usually find Maverick hanging out at Bar1. Don’t worry—he’s the designated driver.

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Robert Liles with Peanut Lovable Peanut is a Boston Terrier-Pug mix. “He and I balance each other out; he’s very outgoing and friendly, and I tend to be highly introverted and reserved. People stop and greet him, and he takes it as an open invitation to jump, crawl into their lap, sit by them—and even go after their food.” He’ll give you a high-five—but only if a snack is in involved.

Peanut loves routine. “He always wants to be near me, and our Sunday nights watching movies in bed,” says Robert.

“He’s is more full of love and wants nothing more than to be everyone’s friend.

Peanut is my life.”

Dane Anderson with Eros Scruffy Eros is a Wheaten Terrier-Chihuahua mix. He was born at the Pima Animal Care Center (PACC) in Tucson when an unmarried Chihuahua who got “in trouble” gave birth. Dane fostered him and then ended up adopting him. “I named him ‘Eros’ after the Greek god of Love because everyone eventually falls in love with him,” says Dane an Event/Project manager.

“Eros knows how to shake, stay, roll over, bark on command, spin, and lay down. He has this habit when he meets a dog he wants to play with, he’ll army crawl to them and roll over and be extra cute to get their attention.” Like he could be any cuter!

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Her roommate Truett says, “Vets call Dizzy a German Shepherd/Bulldog mix.

I call him, ‘the best dog in the world.’

This sweet, old man was a rambunctious rescue and used to jump my six-foot backyard fence. He finally found love right where he is. He can jump the wall, he chooses not to. He’s my bro’ and my best friend.” Dizzy’s also an amazing nap buddy for Truett, a trim carpenter with his company TruettBuilt.com

“Any chance I get I take my pups camping. Bartlett Bash is one of our favorite trips. Life wouldn’t be the same without any of them.”

Her furry family includes BesFrien, a male Yorkshire Terrier from Oklahoma.

Honeybear, a Toy Poodle, is a Texas girl and her daughter is Aubrey, a puppy Pomeranian-Poodle.

Straight ally Johanna is a hairstylist at rePose Salon and Spa at CityScape in downtown Phoenix. “Love is love no matter the gender.”

Truett Fuentes and Johanna Lorraine with Honeybear, Dizzy, Aubrey & BesFrien

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Stacy’s @ Melrose Karaoke (W)

The Cash Paint Night

Los Diablos Trivia & Tacos (W)

BS WEST Stars Choice (W)

Charlie’s Charlie’s 33rd Anniversary

Los Diablos Trivia & Tacos (W)

BS WEST Stars Choice (W)

OZ BAR Poker (W)

The Cash Free Dance Lessons (W)

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The Cash Free Dance Lessons (W)

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7

TUESDAY

Plazma Sinful Studs (W)

Great Skate Glendale Red White & Skate

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OZ Bar Karaoke (W) Plazma Beautiful Losers Comedy Show (W)

Dick’s Cabaret WTF Wednesday (W) Plazma Sinful Studs (W)

30

Bar 1 2-4-1 Everything (W)

The Rock Thanksgiving Eve Show

Thanksgiving Bunkhouse Thanksgiving Buffet

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OZ BAR Karaoke (W)

Plazma Beautiful Losers Comedy Show (W)

16

Bar 1 2-4-1 Everything (W)

The Cash Truth or Dare Drag Bingo (W)

9

Karamba Night of the Dead

Plazma Beautiful Losers Comedy Show (W)

2

THURSDAY

FilmBar! Drag Roast of Sherry Vine

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Plazma Sinful Studs (W)

FilmBar! Girls Will Be Girls Screening

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8

Cruisin’ 7th Wild Men of the West (W)

The Rock Undie Night with Chris (W)

I N PARTY CAM EVENTS • (W) WEEKLY EVENT

Los Diablos Monday Night Football (W)

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Los Diablos Sunday Ticket Tailgate Parties (W)

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OZ BAR Poker (W)

Los Diablos Sunday Ticket Tailgate Parties (W)

The Rock Karaoke with Jae (W)

Bar 1 Beer Bust (W)

BS WEST Drag Queen Bingo

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13

Plazma NFL Sunday Funday /Free Pool (W)

19

Cruisin’ 7th Owners Brunch & Trixxie’s Show

Bunkhouse Anniversary Luau Party

OZ Bar Poker (W)

OZ Bar Bingo (W)

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Stacy’s @ Melrose Karaoke (W)

6

MONDAY

Plazma NFL Sunday Funday /Free Pool (W)

5

SUNDAY

November 2017 1

WEDNESDAY Los Diablos Angels & Demons (W)

Cruisin’ 7th 40th Anniversary Kick Off

Bunkhouse Scotty’s 50th Party

Parsons Center Drama Rama

Los Diablos Angels & Demons (W)

The Rock LC’s Trailer Trash Review

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Karamba Veterans Day Vaquero Dance

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Plazma Celia Putty’s Freaky Friday (W)

3

FRIDAY

25 Charlie’s Gatsby Party

Anvil PBOL Gear Night

Dick’s Cabaret Get Stuffed Bash

FLEX PHOENIX Mr. FLEX Competition (W)

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The Cash Jen’s Birthday Bash

Charlie’s MEAT Military Party

Charlie’s PGFFL Beer Olympics

Hilton Garden Open Minded Wedding Expo

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SATURDAY

hydrat

DRINK & EVENT GUIDE

PHOENIX FRIDAY SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Anvil

DIRTY DADDY DANCERS 10pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

WILD MEN of the WEST 7:30pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

BEER BUST $3 Pitchers All Day HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

Bar 1

HH 10am-7pm

$2.25 Domestic Bottles 7pm-9pm

$1.50 Bud Light Drafts $2 Canned Beer

HH $4 Well & Beer $2 OFF Apps/GlassWine/Prem.Spirits

Brunch Specials 10a-3p $12 Bttle of Bubbly, $5 Bloodys

$12 Bttle of Bubbly, $5 Bloodys 10a-3p 1/2 OFF Cocktails 2-7pm KARAOKE

Elements Show 10:30pm $5 ABSOLUT All Night

2-4-1 All Day/All Night Go-Go Boys, Extended Patios VIP

Sunday Funday KARAOKE 10p $2 Miller - $3 Marys & Mimosas

2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm $2.50 Miller Products

2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm $2.50 Bud Products

Happy Hour All Day JAZZ w/ Kenny Thames 7pm

The Cash

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm $1 Drafts 8-10pm $5 Long Isl 10-cl

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm DJ Delicious 9pm

HH $3 Well & Dom ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm

Charlie’s

$3 Pitch/2-4-1 Well-Dom 2-7pm $1 Draft 10pm-Mid

2-4-1 Well/Dom Noon-7pm $3 Absolut/Barcardi Flavors 10-Mid

Super Happy Hour 4-7pm $3 Pitch / $3 Lng Island Open-Cl

NEW Club Volt

4SOME REVUE 10pm $30 Champagne $4 4Some Cock.

VOLT VIXXXENS 10pm HH 4-8pm $1 Dom. $2 Well

WMW’s FLESH 10pm HH Two for One 12-8pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Olivia & Nikki 10:30pm

Dirty Daddy Dancers 4:30pm Lady Christian 10:30pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm TS Dancers 10:30pm

2-4-1 VIP Dances 7-9pm

Off the Hook Tons of Prizes & Giveaways

2-4-1 Cover, Wristbands & VIP Dances

HH 3:30-6:30pm & 11pm-Close $2 OFF Apps / Well / Wine / Beer

$4 Signature Brunch Drinks 10a-3p $4 Mimosas $5 Big Bloodys

$4 Signature Brunch Drinks 10a-3p $4 Mimosas $5 Big Bloodys

Vaquero Fridays 9-11pm Reverse Happy Hour $3 Drinks

Top 40 Saturdays 9-11pm Reverse Happy Hour $3 Drinks

Top 40 Sundays Diamond Show $3 Pitchers Beer Bust

Finally Friday HH 3pm-7pm Reverse HH 10p-Close

HH 12pm-Close $5 Dom Pitchers $7 LIT&AMF Pitchers

Oz Bar

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY KARAOKE 2p-6p Bingo 1p

Plazma

$3 Well & Dom Until 8pm $4 3 Olives & $3 Fireball Shots

HH $3 Well/Dom Btl/Drft 12/8pm All Male Revue 10pm

Beer Bust until 7p $3.50 Dom Pitch KARAOKE 8pm-Cl 2-4-1 $3 Shots

HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm KARAOKE

2-4-1 11am-7pm KARAOKE 9pm Barbra Seville Show10pm

$2 Miller & Bud Light All Day Wild Men of the West 10pm

HH 4-8pm Live DJ $2 Rolling Rock

HH 4-8pm Live DJ $2 Rolling Rock

Sunday Funday $3 Mimosas DJ $1.50 Rolling Rock & Well

Bliss/ReBar

BS West Bunkhouse

Cruisin’ 7th

Dick’s Cabaret FEZ

Karamba Los Diablos

The Rock Stacy’s

Br

W

Brunch 10am-2pm KARAOKE 2pm-6pm $4.50 Mimosas, $7 LI / AMF / Marg Pitchers

Br

TUCSON FRIDAY SATURDAY Hotel Congress

IBTS

Live Music on the Patio Tom Walbank 7p DJ Dirtyverbs 10p

Free Dance Party 10pm DJs Sid the Kid, BOBFelix & More!

Flawless Fridays with China Collins

Saturday Night Starrletts with Janee Starr

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Hot Club of Tucson 10:30pm Club KARAOKE 10pm 2-4-1 9p-Close KARAOKE

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

Beards, boxers & Briefs $1 OFF HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

2-4-1 WELL 8pm-close HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm KARAOKE 9pm $2.75 well, dom bottle & drft

THURSDAY KARAOKE 9pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm 2-4-1 U-Call-It 10am-2am (except shots & pitchers) $4 Bellinis

HH ALL DAY $4 Well & Beer $2 OFF Apps/GlassWine/Prem.Spirits

$22 Any Wine Bottle & Cheese Board 1-8pm

20% OFF ENTIRE BILL (excludes discounted items)

$22 Any Wine Bottle & Cheese Board 1-8pm

Drag Bingo with Kendra & Aimee 1/2 Price Drinks

Stars Choice Show 9:30pm $3 Coors Light / $5 3 Olives Vodka

2-4-1 All Day / All Night Go-Go Boys - A Valley Tradition VIP

WMW X-Posed 10pm with Aimee $3 Miller Lite / $6 Titos

HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm

HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm

HH 8am-2pm | $4.50 Fireball( All Day) KARAOKE 9pm $3.75 L.I.

HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm Underwear Night WMW $1 Off

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm Dance Lessons 7:30pm

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm KARAOKE 2-4-1 Well 8pm

HH $3 Well & Dom ALL DAY 2-4-1 Well & Dom 10pm-close

2-4-1 Cocktail / Beer 8pm-Close

$3 Pitcher / $3 Absolut 8pm-Close

2-4-1 All Cocktails & Beer Open-Close

T-Party Trans Go-Go Dancers HH 4-8pm $1 Dom. $2 Well 4-8p

$1 DRINKS THURSDAYS Drafts and Cocktails

Underwear Party 8pm-Cl Half off with your Pants Off $3 J.D. CLOSED MONDAY HH Tues-Sat$1 Dom. $2 Well HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm TS Dancers 10:30pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Wild Men of the West 10:30pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Comedy Night 9pm

2-4-1 Cover, Wristbands & VIP Dances

Amateur Night Starts at 10pm

WTF Wednedays $5 Cover and almost everything else!

$5 Cover!

With coupon on our website

$5 Big Signature Margaritas

$5 All Classic Martinis

KARAOKE 9pm $3 Drinks / $3 Pitchers

Cumbia Night Savannah Show $3 Drinks / $3 Pitchers

Salsa Nights $3 Pitchers Karamba Girls Show

Urban Thursdays Ruby Show $3 Pitcher $3 Drinks

HH 3pm -Close $3 Well & Domestics 7pm-Close

Taco & Tequila Tuesdays $5 Patron & Margs $4 Dos Equis

HH 3pm-7pm KARAOKE 7pm-Cl All Drinks Buy 1 get 1 for $1 7-Cl

HH 3pm-7pm $3 Well & Domestics 7pm-Close

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm-Close

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY Poker 7pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY Poker 7pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm

HH 2-4-1 4-8pm $2 Well & $3 Domestic

HH 2-4-1 4-8pm $2 Well & $3 Domestic 9pm-Close

2-4-1 4-8pm Sinful Studs 9pm-Mid

HH 2-4-1 ALL DAY Beautiful Losers Comedy SHow

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Taco & Tequi

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HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm KARAOKE 9pm-Close HH All Day

HH All Day SONGO 6-9pm $5 Martinis All Day

MONDAY

TUESDAY

90s House Party 10pm w/ DJ Sid the Kid 90¢ PBR Br

3-4-1 Well Drinks 8p-Close KARAOKE

Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night 8pm

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Tequila & Mexican Beer ALL DAY

2-4-1 All Day Live DJ

WEDNESDAY

HH 4-8pm Live DJ $1.50 Rolling Rock 4-mid / Well 8-mid

THURSDAY

Live Music

Salvador Duran 7pm OPTI CLUB Dance Party 10pm

Viva La Diva Show with Diva

2-4-1 All Day Go Go Boys 11pm

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WWW.IONAZ.COM November 2017

PHOENIX Address

1. 2601 on Central

Phone

2601 N. Central Ave.

Coming Soon!

2. Anvil

2424 E. Thomas Rd.

(602) 334-1462

3. Aqua

1730 E McDowell Rd.

(602) 253-0689

4. Bar 1

3702 N. 16th St.

(602) 266-9001

5. Bliss/ReBar

901 N. 4th St.

(602) 795-1792

6. Boycott Bar

4301 N 7th Ave.

(602) 515-3667

7. BS West

7125 E. 5th Ave., Scottsdale

(480) 945-9028

8. Bunkhouse

4428 N 7th Ave.

(602) 200-9154

9. The Cash

2140 E McDowell Rd.

(602) 244-9943

10. Charlie’s

727 W. Camelback Rd.

(602) 265-0224

11. Club Volt

3108 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 244-1465

12. Cruisn’ 7th

3702 N. 7th St.

(602) 212-9888

13. Dick’s Cabaret

3432 E. Illini Rd.

(602) 274-DICK

14. FEZ

105 W. Portland St

(602) 287-8700

15. Flex Spas Phoenix

1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy.

(602) 271-9011

16. Karamba

1724 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 254-0231

17. Kobalt

3110 N Central Ave. Park Central (602) 264-5307

18. Los Diablos

1028 E Indian School Rd.

(602) 795-7881

19. NuTowne Saloon

5002 E Van Buren St.

(602) 267-9959

20. OZ Bar

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd.

(602) 242-5114

x

21. Plazma

1560 E Osborn Rd.

22. The Rock

4129 N. 7th Ave.

(602) 266-0477 (602) 248-8559

x

23. Stacy’s @ Melrose

4343 N 7th Ave.

TUCSON Address

25. Hotel Congress 26. IBTs

Phone

311 E Congress St., Tucson x

616 N 4th Ave, Tucson

(602) 264-1700

x

(520) 622-8848 (520) 882-3053

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W

hether it’s family feuds or calories that you’re counting, Thanksgiving is sure to leave you feeling stuffed. Grab a second helping of pumpkin pie and settle into another installment of Favorite Bitch®!

Dear Miss Tiger, My little brother brought his boyfriend to Thanksgiving and came out during dinner. I don’t approve of him being gay! I tried calling him but instead of talking to me, he sent a text with your website. I guess that means I’m supposed to ask you what to do?

— Annette Dear He’s Watched Too Many Episodes of The Young & the Restless And You’ve Watched Too Much Jimmy Swaggart, I’m gagging on the fact that you were gagging on yams while baby brother admitted to gagging on dick.

Looks like your holiday dinner was a mouthful, hunty!

Dear Miss Tiger, Last year my roommate was alone during Thanksgiving, so I came up with the idea that we’d spend it together.

We drank too much and got caught up in the holiday spirit and ended up youknow-what. It hasn’t happened since but we’ll be together again this year.

Any advice?

— Mitchell Dear Turkey Baster, Who ate the drumstick and who broke the wishbone! As far as advice—invest in some butter ‘cause I’m certain you’ll be greasing his bird again this year!

Dear Miss Tiger, I beat up my sister Stephanie last Thanksgiving. She called me a dyke and I had enough of her shit. My parents asked me to leave. Do you feel they sent me home (and not her) because I’m a lesbian?

— Rhonda Dear Stereotype, They sent you on your merry way because mommy and daddy wanted to settle into a Bloody Mary and football ... not a Bloody Stephanie and a brawl.

Dear Miss Tiger, Last year I came home for Thanksgiving and visited Dick’s Cabaret and now I’m in love with one special dancer. Should I show him my true feelings?

— Travis Dear You Show Him an Open Wallet And You’ll Be Writing An Anniversary Card Instead of Writing to Me, Dear Miss Tiger, I eat too much on Thanksgiving. My boyfriend is an amazing cook and I just can’t stop myself. Help!

— Salvatore Dear Don’t Look For Skinny Jeans Under The Tree Next Month, If your man is as good in the bedroom as he is in the kitchen, then go ahead and gorge on holiday ham and your man’s summer sausage!

Miss Tiger

Advice Columnist • Radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Twitter/Instagram MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com November 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 95

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by Addison DeWitt

You wanna know how to get kicked off of Facebook?

We’ve all been in “Facebook Jail” once or twice for something or other.

One way is to show pictures of your genitals.

Or anybody’s. Or you can call someone a nasty name. My favorite Starbucks barista, Joel Ratner, (A) has called me plenty of names, but Zuckerberg’s posse got riled and Joel was banned for calling The C Donald a “See You Next Tuesday” in a post. You know the word.

“It’s in black and white,” Joel said. “‘No incendiary remarks about specific people or public figures.’”

Guess that includes the Orange fathead in the White House. Get this: it was Joel’s own sisterin-law who turned him in. That’s sure gonna make for an

uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner, I’m guessing.

If you missed Sausage Fest, you not only missed champion Joe Finedore (B) barfing up 58 frankfurters after he won the Hot Dog Eating Contest, you also missed the titillating “Best Buns” Contest with finalists Joshua and Will showing off their gluteus maximuses for bragging rights. Will couldn’t keep his Russian hands and Roman fingers off of Joshua’s creamy white globules of temptation.

Here’s an (unfortunately) censored picture. (C) Use your imagination and come back next year!

A

B

Host Jonny McGovern couldn’t keep his hands off of the “Aloha Realtors” Joseph Ching and the bouncy Brian Czech, either, who said, “Alo-HEY, mister!

What do you think you’re doing with our volcanoes!?” (D) Can’t say I blame Jonny!

The BS West Silver Halloween Show was amazing! Humpy Eli Ali was drawn to Ryan Boehme’s scorching hot D living “Lumière” like a moth to a flame. (E) He can light my fire anytime.

E

Enjoy your Thanksgiving. No name calling at the dinner table. If you do, just don’t post the name on Facebook. Or you’ll be sorry.

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he November 13 conjunction of Jupiter and Venus is an impressive celestial encounter.

This Father-Daughter planetary duo represents the best in mythological genetics and astrological fortune. Revel in the sensuality and love Venus offers while upholding the righteous no-nonsense qualities of Jupiter.

Reuniting these planets gives everyone the ability to bring a larger, global perspective into the picture. Your dreams and fantasies combine with reality and practicality. Exploit your feminine and masculine qualities, whether you’re a top, butch, nelly, femme or vers (which basically means a “bottom.”) This conjunction will be in the eastern sky just before sunrise.

Anticipate the upcoming Supermoon on December 3, the Moon’s closest approach to Earth, appearing 14% bigger than a small micromoon. It’s the only one of the year, and it brings a message that will be an exclamation point to the end of your year.

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

Try to listen to the intuitive, sensitive, romantic things the stars are telling you. Mars makes you seem a little threatening early in the month. It’s time to negotiate deals. Bring your passion to the table.

Taurus April. 21 - May 20

This is a perfect time for reconciliation.

Peacemaking is the name of the game. Try empathy. You can be nurturing, or needy.

Which will it be? December’s Supermoon encourages sentimentality.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

This Jupiter-Venus reunion brings a balance of decisiveness with harmony. One-on-one situations require you to lend the spotlight to others (which is so not you!) This makes you appear charming (which is so you!)

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Your emotions are like spices. Anger, joy, sadness, passion, disgust, surprise, trust.

Mix them all together into a casserole for the holidays! (Easy on the “disgust.” It makes us gassy.)

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Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

You know what the conjunction of Jupiter and Venus means? Togetherness. If there’s any family disfunction, it’s time to repair it. Isn’t that what Thanksgiving is about? Who gets the drumstick?

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

Mercury means you find the right way to express yourself; you mean what you say, you say what you really mean. Just don’t get too emotional about stuff.

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

Strong. Energetic. Courageous. Sexy. Sporty.

Frustrated. Sensitive. Romantic. Open-minded.

Flexible. Spiritual. We’re having a hard time keeping up with “all the feels” this month. It’s called “living.”

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

Birthday or not, it’s all about you this month as the Sun’s glorious rays are cast upon you.

It’s about connecting. Connecting with people.

You’re good at that. We’re a little jealous. (Lots of people are.)

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

Speedy Mercury improves your cat-like reflexes increasing your chances to attain goals. Your birthday brings old friends together with new ones. And they all get along. Surprise!

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

You’re stuck in a rut. You might join a social group, or something more adventurous happening in the outdoors. Well ... not that adventurous.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

It’s all about the future. Neptune retrograde ends and a financial struggle lifts. Expect praise and recognition for something you do well. Really, really well.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

A dream becomes a reality. Just one. Not all of them. Keep a suitcase packed. You might be traveling. It might be near, it might be far. Just bring a jacket.