ION Arizona May 2011

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PRIDE KICK-OFF PARTY

Additional photos by Deon Brown

BENEFITING PHOENIX HELLRAISERS

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Chane jordan

MORE PICTURES ON PAGE 22!

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A

Get Counted. Get Up. Get Out!

fter a week of great Phoenix Pride events, the Kick-off Party, Parade and Festival, you’d think I was exhausted. I am.

Now it i’s time to rejuvenate with another great issue of ION. While you count on us to deliver all the fun and excitement in your community, now we need to count on you...

Stand up and be Counted

Starting May 1st, we’ll be participating in a nationwide Gay community survey. This will help us take a snapshot of our community so we can better serve you. Please take a couple of minutes and answer a few questions. There’s a link at www.IONAZ. com and make sure you specify that you are an ION Arizona reader. You might just win $100!

A New Way to View Swimsuits

This month, we bring a whole new twist to our annual swimsuit issue. For the first time, the entire photo spread is printed in 3D. While our sexy models look great! Try looking at them through a typical old school pair of 3D glasses and you’ll be amazed.

Behind the Scenes

Everyone at ION works very hard on each issue, from the editor, creative director, writers, models, stylists, photographers to the graphic designers. After almost 10 years, I’m still amazed and I couldn’t be more proud of our team. We have a new behind the scenes video created by Mike

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Chesworth that shows all the hard work the talented people put behind our photoshoots. Check it out www.IONAZ.com

More for You to Love

We couldn’t make ION better, so we decided to give you more! We have three great interviews: First with writer/director Mike Mills, the dynamic drag duo Joey Arias and Sherry Vine and the talented Jennifer Holliday who’ll be performing live at the Southwest Center’s Night for Life Gala. We also have a more Party Cams as well as our informative entertainment guides and reviews.

All this for the unbelievable low price of FREE! We can’t do this all day! All you have to do is use ION as your entertainment guide, your directory of businesses and organizations that support your community. What a deal!

Now that Phoenix Pride is behind us and another hot, dry summer is right around the corner, we can take a moment to sit back and enjoy this great state of ours, our diverse community, and, yes, ION Arizona.

Enjoy!

Jack M. Tesorero - Publisher

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DRAG RACE

Additional photos by Deon Brown

barbra seville

3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero - Ext. 5 ................. jacktesorero@me.com

ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop .................................................... (602) 301-8457 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown - Ext. 3 .................. ionazeditor@me.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero Ext 2 - ionazsales@me.com Photographers:

Michael Fragale Fernando Hernandez

Jerry O’Conner Don Thompson

Cover Photo by Jerry O’Conner National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:

Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly Mark Gray Tom King

Ted Kirby Kim Ruff Joey Sarandos Paul Sanchez

Published monthly by

1995-2011: 16 Years of Design and Creative Excellence

© 2011 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

Inferno Foam Bash

Break out the Mr. Bubble and throw in a bunch of squeaky clean kids — who all just happen to be over 18 — and you’ve got yourself a party that’s hotter, wetter and cleaner than ever! So grab your rubber duckie (if you know what I mean) and join in the foam (and fun!) at Inferno Thursdays Foam Bash at Trinity. 1420 N. Scottsdale Rd. on the SW corner at McDowell Rd. Visit infernonights.com for details. See ad on p. 15

Club Sutra

Get your Kama and make your way over to Club Sutra, where the night comes alive! Enjoy live music on May 6 & 20, and DJ Sweat and DJ Lockdown on Fridays and for afterhours on Saturdays ‘til 4 a.m. Remember, no cover ‘til 1 a.m.! How cool is that!? 2424 E. Thomas Rd. Phone: 602-682-5088 See ad on p. 18

Pussy at Flex: Good Clean Fun!

For the discriminating gentleman who’s looking for a little Pussy in a private club ... hey, there’s a first time for everything! See the raucous Miss LeHoot, the Bathhouse Beauty, entertaining the gents at the Flex on Friday, May 6 at 11 p.m. Soap, water and towels provided. Mention the show for a complementary day pass on the day of the show. DJ Bryan sins poolside every Friday from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. See ad on p. 94

The Rock’s 2nd Anniversary

If you’re between something and a hard place, you’ll find yourself at The Rock! And they’re celebrating big from May 20-22. You won’t want to miss the legendary Sherry Vine and incomparable Joey Arias that Friday with our very own AZ Gender Outlaws while you enjoy $2 drinks all weekend long. 4129 N. 7th Ave. Phone: 602-248-8559 or visit therockdmphoenix.com See ad on p. 22

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SWAY’s 5th Birthday

For five years the fun folks at SWAY have been spearheading all the number one events and helping raise thousands and thousands of dollars for our community. Wish them “Happy Birthday” at their very own party on Wednesday, June 1 at 7 p.m. at The Vig uptown. 6015 N. 16th St. No cover for SWAY Facebook fans. Want on the list? RSVP@ swayevents.com. See ad on p. 2

MAY 2011 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT & LOCATION CITY Mons Chill Mondays - icepics Phoenix Tues Neon (Go-Go Boys) - icepics Phoenix Tues Tuesday Night Live Cabaret - Apollo’s Phoenix Sats Afterhours - Club Sutra Phoenix 5 Cinco de Mayo at Karamba Phoenix 5 Cinco de Mayo with Jojo - Z Club Phoenix 7 Night for Life - Phoenician Phoenix 8 Eric Himan & Namoli Brennet - The Rock Phoenix 13 Blackout Party - Charlie’s Phoenix 13-15 Trip Down the Red Carpet - PMMC Phx College Phoenix 14 Sunfish at Christown YMCA Phoenix 14 Get Leid Bash - Dick’s Cabaret Phoenix 14 Leather & Lace Party at BS West Scottsdale 16 Karaoke Mondays at Karamba Phoenix 20 Mustache Ride Bar Crawl Phoenix 20 Concert Tix Giveaways at Karamba Phoenix 20-22 The Rock 2nd Anniversary Party Phoenix 22 Lady Gaga Official Release Party - Bliss/Rebar Phoenix 29 Men of STRUT at icepics Phoenix 29 Carnaval Latino at Karamba’s Phoenix JUNE 1 SWAY’s 5th Anniversary - The Vig Uptown Phoenis

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Phoenix Fear Film Festival “The call is coming from inside the house!” If you like getting the youknow-what scared out of you, this independent film festival and convention is presenting the best in independent horror feature and short films from around the world. Just wait ‘til you see the Zombie Belly Dancers. Saturday, May 21, noon-11:30 p.m.

MADCAP Theatres, 730 S. Mill Ave. Tempe. Check out phoenixfearcon.com and Facebook for more info.

AZ Tattoo Expo Maybe it’s a battleship. Maybe it’s a tribal band. Maybe it’s Mickey Mouse flipping a bird. That one was a bad idea. But come see the best ink around on April 21-22 at the Mesa Convention Center. Over 150 tattoo artists, on-site piercing, side shows, cosmetic tattooing, contests, celebrity judges and more! 263 S. Center St. near University. Visit AZtattoo.com for more info.

Phoenix Comicon Get out your Spock ears and bring your Tribbles! Put on your Hobbit-feet shoes and hustle down to the Phoenix Comicon on May 26-29 at the Alien Heliports that looks a lot like the Phoenix Convention Center at 100 N. 3rd St. and the Hyatt Regency at 122 N. 2nd St. in downtown Phoenix. Visit phoenixcomicon.com for more dorky info. And may the force be with you.

MAY 2011 ION around town listings DATE EVENT / LOCATION CITY Saturdays 5-8 7 7 14-15 21 21-22 26-29 28-29

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Flashlight Tour - Desert Botanical Garden Butterfly Pavilion - Desert Botanical Garden Artwerks Lateral 58 AZ Lucky Ducky Derby - Scotts. Waterfront AZ Highways Travel Show Phoenix FearCON Film Festival - Madcap Theatres AZ Tattoo Expo - Mesa Convention Ctr. Phoenix Comicon - Phx Convention Ctr. iFest: AZ Int’l. Festival - AZ State Fairgrounds

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Phoenix Phoenix Downtown Glendale Scottsdale Phx Convention Ctr. Tempe Mesa Phoenix Phoenix

You’re Gonna Love Her Dreamgirl Jennifer Holliday

by Brown 26 Deon www.IONAZ.com

May 2011

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t’s been nearly 30 years since Dreamgirls’ Effie Melody White brought down the house at Broadway’s Imperial Theatre with “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” for almost every night for nearly four years. Jennifer Holliday won two Grammys and a Tony for Best Leading Actress in a Musical for her role. The Big Voiced Diva’s live recording of the legendary showstopper has been viewed over YouTube video viewed over 2,154,000 times.

When the burgeoning AIDS crisis hit the Great White Way, Miss Holliday headlined with Equity Cares/ Broadway fights AIDS in 2002. Miss Holliday spoke to ION Arizona from her home home in Atlanta, Georgia about her gift of singing, her allegiance to the GLBT community and dedication to help fight HIV/AIDS. “I think God gave me a gift to sing,” Miss Holliday said. “I don’t know if I have a source of inspiration. I’ve been singing professionally for 33 years. I started singing when I was around 13.

But I don’t do any singing around the house and very seldom listen to music at home.”

Her amazing pipes led Holliday to use her talent to help support GLBT causes and AIDS research.

“The Broadway community as well as Dreamgirls suffered a loss because of AIDS in the early 80s when the disease burst on the scene. Many people had no idea what the disease was, calling it ‘The White Gay Man’s Disease.’ At that time our phone was ringing every 15 minutes with news of someone dying.

Not getting the disease, but dying. It was quite devastating to our community and quite devastating for Dreamgirls.

We lost the director, Michael Bennett (A Chorus Line, Company, Follies), the librettist, Tom Eyen (The Dirtiest Show in Town, Women Behind Bars), the choreographer, Michael Peters (“Thriller,” “Beat It,” “Love is a Battlefield”). We lost a lot of the other technical people as well as a great portion of the male cast and chorus all to AIDS. Myself and [Dreamgirls castmate] Sheryl Lee Ralph have been aggressive in our plea to get people to understand that AIDS affected this community.

Grateful for her success, Holliday is especially grateful for her loyal GLBT fans.

“For me, on a personal note, the GLBT community has been my greatest source of support, love and loyalty for my career. It’s a lot of things that I’m involved with, so to me I owe this community everything. Not only to help May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 27

about why I do this.” me establish my career, but at a time when my career was at it’s lowest and didn’t have a hit record and couldn’t get any work this community kept me alive and I survived because of the community — because they have unconditional love. You don’t need a hit record to be loved or accepted by this community. Once they love you — they love you. They’re faithful. It was that same kind of love that carried me over into the 21st Century. There would be no Jennifer Holliday — and really no Dreamgirls — without this community.

I have a lot of emotion when I think

It must be difficult belting out a trademark, big money song like “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” for thirty years — and every night and twice on Sunday for four years.

“I’m able to take myself out of the situation and sing from a place that is in the moment each time,” she explained.

“Therefore it’s not calculated like, ‘let’s hit it again “and I’m telling you ...”’ Each moment has to be new, and this audience may have heard it many times, some may have heard it for the very first time. I take myself out of it and allow it to just happen. I can feel the audience. I can feel their heartbeat, I can feel them singing along silently -- all of that. I let all of that be the driving force behind it.”

And you. And you. And you and you, you’re gonna love her.

Night for Life Gala Miss Holliday will perform in Phoenix for the Southwest Center for HIV/ AIDS 16th Annual Night for Life Gala on Saturday, May 7 beginning 6 p.m. at the Phoenician Resort. For tickets visit www.SWHIV.org

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Phoenix pride festival

steele indian school park

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Fotografía por Jerry O’Conner Arte direccion por Kevin Bushaw Con Diamond Dallas y Jesus Osuna

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ola a todos, soy su amiga Diamond Dallas, este Cinco de Mayo vamos a divertirnos recordando la gran victoria de la gente campesina y él ejercito Mexicano contra la armada Francesa en la más conocida como batalla de Puebla en él año 1862. ¡Tomense un tequilita! ¡Vamos a cenar rico en Ticoz o Mi Patio! Después para amenizar la noche acompañen a la fabulosa Ruby Reynolds en él mejor antro latino de Arizona, Karamba Night Club, vamos a bailar sin parar y como siempre amigos con moderación y mucho cuidado.

Un fuerte abrazó y un gran beso a mi raza tequilera.

Mucho amor, Atte La Diamante

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Loretta Lynn The little ol’ Coal Miner’s Daughter from Butcher Hollow, Kentucky still puts on a finger lickin’ good show at the ripe old age of 78. Although she uses Butter Flavor Crisco for the flakiest pie crusts, it has nothing to do with her hit song, “Fist City.” See ‘Retty at the Celebrity Theatre, 440 N. 32nd St. in Phoenix on Sunday, May 1 at 7 p.m. For tix visit celebritytheatre.com or call 602-267-1600

Boogie Wonderland Drag Show The Farnsworth Theatre at Mesa Arts Center will be converted into a drag queen’s wildest dream: a cabaret lounge where disco, glam rock and trailer park sensibilities meet under one wig. A selection of queens TBA will mix lip-synch, live vocals, high heels and low brow camp all together on Saturday, May 14. 100% of the proceeds go to the Child Crisis Center of Mesa. 1 E. Main St. TIX: 480-644-6500 of visit mesaartscenter.com

Boogie Woogie Pops This rousing musical tribute promises to be a nostalgic trip down Memory Lane when the Andrews Sisters, Der Bingle, Sinatra, and Big Bands of the era inspired our boys and girls overseas and the folks here at home during The Good War. So Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar at Phoenix Symphony Hall on Friday and Saturday, May 27-28. 75 N. 2nd St. Get tix at phoenixsymphony.org or call 602-253-1772

MAY 2011 ION Concert Calendar DATE ARTIST LOCATION PHONE 1 Kenny Chesney Jobing.com Arena 800-745-3000 1 Loretta Lynn Celebrity Theatre 602-267-1600 5 Los Lobos Talking Stick Resort 480-850-7777 7 BETTY Alice Coopers’ Town missingpuzzlepiece.com 10 Diddy-Dirty Money Tour Wild Horse Pass 877-840-0457 11 Leon Russell Celebrity Theatre 602-267-1600 12 Moody Blues Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 13 A Trip Down the Red Carpet Phoenix College grandcanyonperformingarts.org 14 Boogie Wonderland Drag Show Mesa Arts Ctr. 480-644-6500 15 Yanni Jobing.com Arena 800-745-3000 23 Experience Hendrix Tribute Tour Mesa Arts Ctr. 480-644-6500 25 Earth, Wind & Fire Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 27-28 Boogie Woogie Pops Phx Symphony Hall 602-266-7464 29 Dwight Yoakam Talking Stick Resort 480-850-7777 JUNE 2011 5 Lyle Lovett & John Hiatt Mesa Arts Ctr. 480-644-6500 May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 39

by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? In addition to these, check out new albums from Sade (greatest hits), Kelly Price, Moby, She Wants Revenge, Dredg and from the goddess herself – Lady Gaga.

Christina Perri Jar of Hearts

This artist took the music world by storm after selling 100k downloads of her title track after being featured on last year’s “So You Think You Can Dance.” Shortly after, she was signed by Atlantic and now, she’s ready to share her rich, bluesy, sleek, singersongwriter vibe with the rest of the world.

Part KT Tunstall, Sheryl Crow and Michelle Branch, Christina uses the power of social media, her talent and perfect timing to jump start a career that is sure to get notoriety.

Track of choice here is “Lonely” with its haunting, lush and beautiful piano chords, while “Arms” and “Penguin” all shine bright.

GRADE: B

Stevie Nicks In Your Dreams

It’s been ten years since her last release and though the industry has changed in more ways in the past ten years than the previous 20, this album soars and is truly a diamond in the rough. In a nutshell, it’s moody, atmospheric, contemporary and gritty. And though she’s 62, it’s one of her best solo projects to date due in large part to help from Dave Stewart and Glen Ballard. Be assured that when Grammy voting comes around next year, this will be on many people’s short lists. Arguably,

the sweeping ballad “Italian Summer” is the standout track here, but also check out “Annabel Lee” and the title track. GRADE: B+

The Cars Move Like This

With Duran Duran, OMD and A-ha all having successful, relevant, current and nostalgic new releases, the poppy, punky creators of “You Might Think” and “Drive” are hoping to catch the same wave.

Fortunately for them, the time off and a fresh new look has done them well. Move Like This embodies the swagger and chrome shimmering sound they owned in the 80’s.

Most of the songs are upbeat with the same great New Wave feel. It’s almost as if they took a time capsule back to their peak to continue a career that many buried. Shout out to the songs “Blue Tip,” “Sad Song” and “It’s Only” GRADE: B-

Matthew Morrison ST

With Glee riding the success of every award show as well as chasing some of the most illustrious records in the biz, it was only a matter of time before we saw solo projects.

First up – Mr. Shuster. However, some things and groups work better as just that.

Though it was hoped Morrison’s debut and collaborations with Paltrow and Elton would be a cross of Bublé, Timberlake and Mraz, this album ends up being a collection of “old” songs that Simon would call indulgent.

Hopefully if/when the other members decide to test the waters, they do it with a bit more style. Check out lead single “Summer Rain” as well as “Over the Rainbow.” GRADE: CMay 2011 www.IONAZ.com 41

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Mystery of Irma Vep A quick-change horror story with two actors portraying all the residents of Mandacrest Estate as well as vampires, werewolves, and mummies from the moors of England to Egypt and back. A hilarious Gothic laff riot that’ll keep you in stitches! Presented by the Arizona Theatre Company at the Herberger Theatre, 222 E. Monroe St. For tix visit arizonatheatre.org or call 602-254-7399

Mamma Mia! The ultimate feel-good show! Sophia’s getting married, but doesn’t know who her father is. After discovering her mother’s old diary, she invites her three potential Baby Daddies. You can only imagine her mother’s surprise! If you love the music of ABBA, this is for you! If you don’t, stay home at all costs. At ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest Ave. Tempe. Visit asugammage.com for tix or call 480-965-3434

Abraham Lincoln’s Big Gay Dance Party A fourth-grade Christmas pageant sets off a firestorm of controversy when it calls into question Lincoln’s sexuality.

Thought-provoking, laugh-out-loud funny. A uniquely American story unfolds offering surprises. A Rubik’s Cube theatrical event in three acts letting the audience decide the play’s twists and turns. A Stray Cat Theatre production at Tempe Performing Arts Center, 132 E. 6th St. in Tempe. Visit straycattheatre.org for tix

May 2011 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 1-20 Girls’ Night Mesa Arts Ctr. 5-22 Mystery of Irma Vep Herberger Theatre 6-14 Adventures of Rose Red ...

AZ B’way Theatre 6-11 Return of Jackie Fontaine Herberger Theatre 6-21 Free Beer ...

Herberger Theatre 7 Jennie McNulty Rainbow Cactus thru 8 Billy Elliott ASU Gammage thru 8 Nine Phx Theatre thru 8 Circle Mirror Transformation Herberger Theatre 13-29 Getting Sara Married Tempe Ctr. for the Arts thru 15 The Full Monty AZ B’way Theatre 15 Sinbad Wild Horse Pass Casino 17-22 Mamma Mia! ASU Gammage 20-6/20 Lincoln’s Big Gay Dance Party Stray Cat Theatre 20-21 David Alan Grier Tempe Improv 27-6/12 Bye Bye Birdie Mesa Arts Center 28-6/18 Eating Raoul Nearly Naked Theatre

PHONE 480-677-6500 602--254-7399 623-776-8400 602-254-7399 602-254-7399 602-971-1086 480-965-3434 602-254-6151 602-254-7399 480-50-8388 623-776-8400 877*840-0457 480-965-3434 480-820-8022 480-921-9877 480-644-6500 602-254-2151

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Movie Previews Festival, this insightful documentary has finally received limited release. If you’re unable to find it at a local theater, be sure to mark it on your Netflix queue or pre-order a copy. This is one piece of GLBTQ history you won’t want to miss.

Release Date: April 28, 2011

Everything Must Go Making the Boys

Starring: Matt Crowley, Laurence Luckinbill, Edward Albee, Michael Cunningham, Robert Wagner In the Spring of 1968 – a year before the Stonewall Riots - Matt Crowley’s play, The Boys in the Band, opened off Broadway and forever changed the face of Queer Theater. A stripped-down narrative about a gathering of men at an Upper East Side apartment to celebrate their mutual friend’s birthday whose jocularity devolves into soulbearing honesty as alcohol loosens their tongues, The Boys in the Band took an open, honest approach to homosexuality at a time when mainstream culture vacillated between condemning it and lampooning it. Two years later, The Boys in the Band was adapted into a film. In filmmaker Crayton Robey’s 2009 documentary, he takes a look at the socio-cultural impact of The Boys in the Band, mixing historical notes with one-on-one interviews with the original playwright, fellow playwrights and members of the original cast. First premiering at the 2009 Tribeca Film

Starring: Will Ferrell, Rebecca Hall, Michael Pena, Laura Dern, Christopher Jordan Wallace

Based on the short story by Raymond Carver, Everything Must Go, is the story of Nick Porter (Ferrell, Step Brothers), an alcoholic salesman whose latest relapse costs him his job. Returning home with his pink slip, he discovers his wife has finally left him and changed the locks on their suburban home, leaving all his worldly possessions on the lawn.

Defeated and without a plan, he stages an impromptu yard sale (hence, the movie’s title) in an effort to salvage what remains of his broken life. Set in Northern

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California (but filmed primarily in Phoenix and Scottsdale), this black comedy is a nice departure from Will Ferrell’s absurdist humor, allowing him to exercise his acting ability similarly to his turn as an IRS-agent-turned-storycharacter in Stranger Than Fiction.

Release Date: May 13, 2011

The Hangover, Part II

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeong In an effort to re-mine comedy gold, the makers of The Hangover follow up their record-breaking comedy with The Hangover, Part II. This time, instead of going to Vegas for a bachelor’s partyturned-drug-induced-debauchery, the fearless foursome go to Thailand for Stu’s Wedding. Opting for a pre-wedding brunch, they quickly find that the best laid plans never go as such and that the relatively lax laws of American Vegas don’t compare to the strict laws of Thailand’s Bangkok.

Release Date: May 26, 2011

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Review Violet Tendencies (2010) Starring: Mindy Cohn, Jesse Archer, Casper Andreas, Sam Whitten, Kim Allen Written by Jesse Archer and Produced and Directed by Casper Andreas, Violet Tendencies, is the story of one woman’s attempt to branch outside of her circle of friends to find love, only to learn as Dorothy once did, that love is right there in your own backyard.

Beginning at the reception of one of her fellow “fruit flies,” Violet learns that she’s the last of a dying breed.

Nearly 40-yearsold, she still spends her evenings with her Gay friends, but yearns for something special of her own.

Adding insult to injury, her coworker and dear friend, Riley (Whitten) is negotiating starting a family with his long-term partner, Markus (Andreas), while her promiscuous roommate, Luke (Archer) contemplates giving up his adventurous sex life for a real, monogamous relationship. So Violet embarks on a series of dates, but when her outrageous, no holds-barred style scares potential suitors away, she enlists the assistance of a female coworker, Salome (Allen), who tells her to be less “her” to snag a mate. It works, but can you ever really ask a tiger to change her stripes? Each character’s story is knit together around this theme, as they all attempt to strike a comfortable compromise, without entirely losing themselves in the process. Mindy Cohn, best known for her turn as Valerie Green on The Facts of Life, is absolutely delightful as Violet – an earnest, endearing goober with a heart of gold. A hit at the 2011 Desperado Film Festival, this is a “must see!” Available at embrem.com

Tough Love (2011) Starring: Lisa Lampanelli For those of you unfamiliar with the comedic stylings of Lisa Lampanelli, let’s just put it this way: she’s an equal opportunity offender.

Every day is a roast and no one is off limits.

At 49 and newly married, Lampanelli, is full of piss and vinegar, rattling off of a barrage of outrageous stereotypes, derogatory statements, calling names, and poking sharp sticks in everyone’s eyes. But it’s done with absolute love; as she said, “In comedy, you only roast the ones you love.” Her entire set is a tongue-in-cheek mockery of every race, class, and sexuality, and she brings her smack-talking not just to her own door, but into her bedroom, as well. The icing on the cake? The last ten minutes of her set, she gets behind a podium and hits the highlights on every newsworthy celebrity with a series of delicious burns. My personal favorite? “The Real Housewives of New Jersey are such a disaster, they’re building a mosque next to it.” Priceless! Not for the faint of heart or easily offended, Lisa Lampanelli’s style enforces the notion that if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Also available on CD through Amazon.com

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a very good place to start Beginners Writer/Director Mike Mills Gets Real about Growing Up

by Deon Brown

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and the dad. Oliver and the scene on cant months after his the bench with the dog. To me that’s slightly zany, wonderfully expressive love. ‘I have curiosity about you, I have mother (Mary Page Keller) passes empathy for you, I care about you.’ away, Oliver (Ewan McGregor, is dealt a surprising hand when his 75-year-old “My dad came out and he passed away father and widower, Hal, (Christopher five years afterwards. When he came Plummer) comes out of the closet, out, My gay dad and I had so many revealing that he’s Gay. With joie more intense conversations than my de vivre and anxious to expand his ‘Straight’ dad and I. My Gay dad and I horizons, Hal lives life fully, despite would talk about sex and penises and a diagnosis of cancer. Nightclubs, our relationships; he would hassle me parties and younger boyfriends pepper about why I was breaking up with these Hal’s experiences which he eagerly girls and I would hassle him about what shares with his emotionally stunted he was doing with his boyfriends. We son. When Oliver inherits his really stopped being polite and father’s Jack Russell terrier, got much more real and Arthur, after his father’s much more interesting. death and meets the After he passed away unpredictable Anna I wasn’t done with (Mélanie Laurent that conversation. of Inglourious I started to write Basterds) the the film as a world opens continuation of up for him. By that voice, that turns funny, exchange between serious and faced us.” with, as Oliver Director says, “a historical Early in the film Oliver Mike Mills consciousness bigger (McGregor) explains than myself,” Beginners to the dog, Arthur, how he tells a true story based on the should behave when he says, experiences of writer/director Mike “Your ancestors were bred for their Mills with his own father, a little dog and stamina and courage of the hunt.” how they all face the transitions and gaps between life and death, and what Mills expanded, “That’s my favorite part they learn along the way. of the movie, I think. He’s telling, ‘You Mike Mills discussed Beginners with ION Arizona and his thoroughly postmodern Life with Father, how he remembers his family and how mutable and transformative life can be.

“The theme about the movie is really about Love. Different kinds of love.

People practicing love. There’s Gay love, Straight love, love between Oliver

don’t even know this, but this is why you are they way you are.’ I think that’s what Oliver trying to do with himself.

Figure out where he came from.

Figure out his ancestry, his parents and the decisions they made and how that impacted him. It’s a funny way to talk about history, how our parents influence us. And that came out.”

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 49

An unconventional mother figured more prominently in Mills early years and in the film.

“I have a lot of memories of my childhood and my dad is in my peripheral vision. When he came out he was front and center and so much more engaged with me. So much more ‘real,’ to use that theme. My Gay dad was a much more interesting dad than my Straight dad. My Gay dad helped me so much as a Straight guy. He was much more available.”

Early in Mill’s parent’s marriage, they made an unconventional decision.

Years later Mill’s father told him that his mother took off her Jewish badge and his father took off his Gay badge.

“That’s what my dad said. That was the night that I figured, ‘I’m making a movie about this.’ I asked him why they got married — ‘Mom knew you were Gay, you knew you were Gay ... why, why, why?’ One way he explained it to me was to put in a historical context. “‘When your

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mom was young she was shamed for being Jewish. It wasn’t easy an easy thing in America to be half-Jewish; she didn’t even know that she was ‘til got was kicked off the swim team,’ which means ‘We joined the mainstream American narrative.’ When he said that I knew I was making a movie about it. It was much more than the Mills Family, these people that I knew; but part of American history.

“Behind all that my parents had a real relationship; real respect for each other.

But they were more like an architecture firm than a married couple. In it there were these voids and absences and gaps of affection; of real passion. Of self-ownership. When you give up your Gay badge and give up your Jewish badge you’ve disowned a big part of yourself. I think that’s what led to me and Oliver’s search for something that’s real. What’s ‘real’ is very important in the movie.”

What advice would Mike Mills give to Adult Children of Gays and Lesbians?

“I saw this sign from a Gay actors group protesting the war in the 1970s.

It said, ‘Rather Blatant than Latent.’

I couldn’t agree more. If your [Gay] parent is not ‘out’ there’s so much you’re missing out on so much of them.

There’s so much that has been put to sleep in the closet that’s not alive.

You’re gonna get so much from your parent if they are out. So if you’re a kid with a parent who’s lucky enough to be out, that’s a privilege from my experience. You’re getting to see so much more of them.”

It’s never too late. Beginners opens in select cities nationwide beginning June 3. See it locally at Harkins Camelview Theatre.

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 51

Such Devoted Sisters

Joey Arias and Sherry Vine

by Deon Brown

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E

ntertainers. Legends. Divas.

With a little bit of sluttiness thrown in just for good measure. New York City’s comic and beautiful chanteuse Sherry Vine and the seductive Joey Arias are known around the world for their art, camp, glamour, comedy and sophistication, making them a celebrated mainstay around the world.

This month Phoenix audiences will be treated to an original, barnburning, take no prisoners/leave no survivors kind of performance that will leave audiences talking for days to come when they join forces with our own, one-of-a-kind cabaret troupe Genderfuct! with the AZ Gender Outlaws. This is all to celebrate the The Rock’s second anniversary.

Seduction.” Arias said that designer Thierry Mugler described him as “Classy and classic. The difference?

Pulling somebody’s pants down and giving them a blowjob onstage is ‘classic.’ ‘Classy’ is how it’s down.” And only Joey Arias could get away with that.

“It’s taken a lot of hard work. But you have to believe in yourself, follow the path you’ve chosen and you have to go up. My Yellow Brick Road hasn’t really always been paved; it’s been bumpy. But I’m always on track,” Joey explained.

Sherry Vine is a self-proclaimed showgirl. “A Vegas sex kitten with a heart of gold. A little loose, but sincere. Definitely a good time gal!” is how she describes herself. “I would like your readers to know that I’m a whore — that means free! You could tell them I’m really 23. I was underage when I started and it’s been a dark secret. I feel better now,” she confessed.

Svelte chatterbox Sherry Vine remembers, “When I first started performing at Bar d’O in NYC with Joey Arias and Raven O I wouldn’t even talk; I would sing and run away. It had to be scripted. Now you can’t shut me up! So I think my interaction with the audience has evolved. Of course, my look has, also. I have more confidence now and I know what works and what doesn’t. So many years were spent investigating and experimenting but I think I’ve found ‘Sherry’ although it’s always a work in progress! Never settle!”

The celebrated Joey Arias began performing in New York’s performance art scene in the 1980s and honing his craft, evolving into the “Mistress of

But the best part about performing?

“The free booze!” she laughs. “Just kidding! I’m a total ham, so the best part is the opportunity to perform and May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 53

laugh.”

hopefully make people

Sherry Vine and Joey Arias have unique ideas about what’s real, what’s imagined and they have a perception nobody else has. Inspiration is key and how they keep their talent evolving.

Sherry Vine and Joey Arias are no different.

Vine’s hysterical parodies of popular music provides her with lots of grist for the mill. “So many things inspire me every single day!” Sherry Vine told ION. “Other queens, my friends, by my idols, people I don’t know. I just saw this kid on YouTube singing a parody of Beyoncé’s “If I Were A Boy” called “If I Were A Goose.” So simple but he was feeling it and that was inspiring. Joey Arias never stops inspiring me. I recently spent an entire day watching vintage Blondie videos! Hello! Debbie Harry is inspiration!”

Teaming Sherry Vine and Joey Arias together in performance is a perfect match.

“Oh my god! It’s like performing with my sister in crime! We work in parallel.

She has such a great opinion about life. She’s so professional. Best of all, we always pick what’s behind Door Number Two. Never Door Number One,” Joey reports.

Arias is looking forward to performing onstage with Genderfuct! and the AZ Gender Outlaws.

“I’m kinda organic. I can’t say what I’ll do ‘til I I see what kind of vibe is coming. If they wanna go wild, I’ll go wild.” But he promises we’ll get some of his trademark, stupendous Billie Holiday style vocals.

How would these two stage greats like to be remembered? In a moment of refIection Sherry said, “I’d be happy if when people thought of me they smiled and said, ‘That bitch made me laugh!’”

Laugh with legends Sherry Vine, Joey Arias and the AZ Gender Outlaws at the Rock for their 2nd Anniversary on Friday, May 20. VIP Meet ‘n. ’ Greet at 9 p.m. General Admission tix $10 with availability, 10 p.m. Reserve your table now at therockdmphoenix.dom

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The Rock 4129 N. 7th Ave. 602-248-8559

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pandora boxx

Photos by Deon Brown

PHOENIX

You Better Work!

ArizonaDrag.com and BS West host a talent contest you won’t forget! So if you’re a drag queen or king, you better start polishing up your tap dance routines, baton twirling and prepare to Lip Synch for your Life when RuPaul’s Drag Race beauty Carmen Carrera comes to show you real Eleganza — “Heather” style. Not only that, there’s a $1000 prize up for grabs! It all happens Sunday, May 15, 7 p.m. at BS West. 7125 E. 5th St. Scottsdale See full contest details at arizonadrag.com. And don’t f#@k it up! See ad on p. 11

MAY 2011 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE

TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S)

Sun 1 4:00pm Fri 6 10:00pm Sat 7 Sun 8 4:00pm Sun 8 8:00pm Fri 13 10:00pm Sat 14 Sun 15 7:00pm Sun 15 8:00pm Wed 18 Wed 18 9:00pm Thurs 19 9pm Fri 20 9:00pm Sun 22 8:00pm Sun 22 7:00pm Sun 22 Thurs 26 Fri 27 10:00pm Sun 29 8:00pm Mon 30 Tuesdays 8:00pm Tuesdays 10:30pm Wednesdays 10:30pm Wednesdays 10:00pm Thursdays 10:30pm Third Thursdays 10:00 Fridays 10:30pm Fridays 9:00pm Saturdays 10:30p Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 9:30pm Sundays 8:30pm Sundays 10:30pm

Cruisin’ 7th The Rock Charlie’s Apollo’s Apollo’s The Rock Charlie’s BS West Apollo’s Charlie’s Apollo’s The Rock The Rock Apollo’s The Rock Karamba Karamba The Rock Apollo’s Charlie’s BS West Karamba Cruisin’ 7th Charlie’s Karamba Trinity Cruisin’ 7th BS West Cruisin’ 7th The Rock icepics Charlie’s Charlie’s Karamba

Underwear Auction with Maquerade and Afeelya Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens Chili Verde Day- An AGRA Benefit Masquerade’s Mothers’ Day Special Tequila Nights with Tyra Marie Genderfuct Spring Fling You Better Work with Carmen Carrera Cougar Cabaret Miss Gay Phoenix Pageant The Big Gay Challenge with Mia Adams Glamazon with T.C. Taylor Joey Arias & Sherry Vine The Big Girl Show Showgirlz Diamond’s Quincenera Ruby’s Hawaiian Party Trailer Trash Revue with Lady Christian Barbra Seville’s That Time of the Month Show Pussy LeHoot’s Annual Memorial Day Show Stars of Tomorrow with Kendra St. James Savannah Moussier Steppin’ Out with Judy & TC Claudia B. & Company Ruby Reynolds Inferno with Ruby Reynolds Devina’s TGIF Elements 7 Deadly Sins - followed by Mandi BoomBoom Host Mia Adams The Barbra Seville Show The Chane Jordan Show Pussy’s Patio Show Pussy LeHoot & Friends Diamond’s Show

To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 57

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Ticoz

I

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!

n July of 2010, Ticoz Resto-Bar changed ownership, and while patrons of beloved neighborhood restaurants historically fret whenever there’s a change, I assure you: change can be good. Your tried-and-true faves are still here, but you’ll find some tantalizing new finds on the menu, too.

We decided to indulge in Ticoz’s infamous Spanish-American cuisine on their beautifully furnished and softly lit patio. Insulated from street noise by an artistically designed barrier wall, we settled into our comfortable seats and immediately ordered a round of drinks including their infamous traditional Mojitos (a Cuban spin on traditional margaritas, where rum is used in place of tequila and paired with crushed mint and brown sugar) and their notoriously tasty Sangria (a sweet, fruit wine).

If you’re like me and find yourself intimidated by all the eye-popping and jaw-dropping options on their menu, it’s probably best to whet your appetite by priming your palette with a few appetizers.

Generous in portion, they can easily pass as an entrée, so if you’re looking for something more “snackable” your best bet is to kick-start your culinary experience with their house-made Chips and Salsa — homemade half-cut moon corn chips and a chipotle-spiced salsa — or try out their Trio of Dipping Sauces: three ramekins loaded with rich spicy chorizo queso, a medium-spicy pork chile verde, and their mild, but sumptuous lobster spinach queso. If you’re looking for something more refreshing with a pleasant, spicy aftertaste, there’s always their Shrimp Ceviche, a mouth-watering blend of spicy shrimp,

jalapenos, cilantro, onions and tomatoes served alongside their house-made corn chips and a sweet corn cob.

If appetizers aren’t simply enough or you’re feeling bolder and want to go straight to the entrées, Ticoz specializes in several incredible dishes. Their Paella, the Spanish equivalent of Italian Cioppino, is a hearty combination of chicken, shrimp, calamari, black mussels, Schreiner’s linguica sausage, saffron citrus broth, rice, tomato and peas. This dish came highly recommended by our waiter, and one of our guests was so taken by this menu item that she gladly broke her diet and doesn’t regret her decision.

Another highly recommended item was their Blue Corn Enchiladas, filled with tender shredded chicken, green chile, a blend of three cheeses, sour cream green chile sauce, rice and grilled

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 59

zucchini. If you’re feeling daring, ask for a fried egg served on top. The guest who tried this dish said it was the icing on the cake. Or the egg on the enchilada, if you will.

By far, Ticoz most popular dish is their street tacos, your choice of two corn or flour tortillas served with cabbage, chipotle crema, avocado crema, marinated onions and served with your choice of shredded chicken, beef or pork, grilled chicken, crispy chicken, shrimp or tilapia, and a side of pinto beans, rice and a savory scoop of sweet corn masa.

I ordered this with tilapia, which is served fried, and had to restrain myself midway from cleaning the entire plate. Most entrees are right around the $10 mark.

I hope you saved room for dessert! The same level of care and dedication Ticoz gives to their main menu is given to

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their dessert menu. We ordered their Dessert Empanada, a dish Ticoz had first introduced on Valentine’s Day that received so much praise from their patrons, they have continued to offer it.

A sweet crème sauce inside flaky pastry crust, lightly dusted with powdered sugar and served with a generous scoop of whipped cream had us fighting over the last bites. If that wasn’t enough to inspire poor table manners, we also ordered their Tortilla Pudding, Ticoz’s take on traditional bread pudding where they substitute tortilla in place of French bread. Drenched in rum and chocolate sauces and served with ice cream, we found ourselves roundly agreeing that the next time we come to eat at Ticoz, we’ll order dessert first.

If you’re in the neighborhood of 7th Street and Camelback and looking to have a full-scale dining experience for roughly $25-$30 a person (drinks, entrée and split dessert), make Ticoz your place to visit.

Believe me, you won’t regret it!

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 61

britney cd release party

More

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 63

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Phoenix pride parade I

More

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

Phoenix pride parade II

More

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

Photography by Jerry O’Conner Art Direction by Joey Sarandos & Kevin Bushaw Wardrobe Styling by Joey Sarandos & Tom King Art by Kevin Bushaw Wardrobe courtesy LaRue’s for Men & Antique Marketplace’s Sebastian & Starina Cover Photo features swimsuit from Sebastian & Starina Styling and Makeup provided by Par Exsalonce CityScape Salon & Spa 11 W. Washington St., Suite 240 Phoenix, AZ 85003 602.340.0332 Alfonso Gonzales, Owner / Editorial Stylist | Michael Parra, Hair Stylist Ash Yomontaño, Hair Stylist | Caroline Winkler, Make-up Artist Models are Meghan Tokarik, Victor Lopez, Jashua Estrada & Ash Yomontaño Watch the ION Arizona Magazine Facebook for Pop Up Events to get your pair of complimentary 3D Specs!

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 69

HEEL PARTY

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phoenix

Meghan is wearing glasses from DSquared2 and Swimsuit by Mossimo May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 71

Meghan is wearing glasses from John Galliano and Swimsuit by Mossimo 72

www.IONAZ.com May 2011

Victor is wearing a Swimsuit by Clever from LaRue’s For Men May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 73

Jashua is wearing a Swimsuit from Sebastian & Starina

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Ash is wearing glasses from Mont Blanc and a Swimsuit from Sauvage

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Jashua is wearing glasses by Tom Ford and Candyan Briefs from LaRue’s for Men 76

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Ash is wearing glasses from John Galliano

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 79

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Vol. 4, Issue 12

MAY 2011

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

Lady Gaga OUTRAGEOUS! Preggers!

NEW YORK — Fans of Pop Princess Lady Gaga were agog when sources leaked that the dance diva may have a “Little Monster” of her own on the way.

Sources close to the bizarre million dollar songbird are expecting the baby to be born this way before the end of the year.

“She’s speechless about the upcoming events,” said one backup dancer. “We just heard about via telephone today. But we’re wondering if this isn’t the result of a bad romance. We all know she likes it rough.”

OUTRAGEOUS!

Mac’s Viva Glam Surrounded by boys, girl took one too boys, boys and a many rides on an favorite of paparazzi anonymous disco everywhere, and may soon ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY stick ACCIDENTAL the 25-year-old find herself might singer has long have a Gerber been accused of Gaga contract by being a man or a 2013 once the baby hermaphrodite. So can show us his or far no father of her teeth. the future Baby GooGoo has been named. Probably because Will “Rock-a-Bye Alejandro” be her the girl born Stefani Joanne Angelina next hit?

Germanotta is usually surrounded by a phalanx of Gay men.

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

OUTRAGEOUS! PlayStation Network Shutdown Forces “Boy” Outdoors OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

to Radio Shack and MESA — Read tormenting that poor old this and cry. He man that works there,” lives in a darkened said Malouf’s mother, room. No windows.

Jeanette. “He’s got better No fresh air. He things to do, like do lives on Cheetos inventory on batteries and Pronto brand ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL than listen to you frozen burritos. yammer on about World He hasn’t bathed of Warcraft of some other in over four years. such nonsense!”

His name is Jarvis Malouf. He is Jarvis peeked out of his 22-years-old and parents’ 1,800 square lives in his parents’ foot ranch style home home near Lindsey for the first time as his and McKellips weak eyes watered in the Roads. Since Arizona sun. He gingerly PlayStation was stepped out into the front introduced in 1994, yard as the sun beat down on his soft, tender, Malouf hasn’t left his room. He spends exposed white flesh. his days and nights on an old futon in one ANY RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL squalid room decorated withTO old Battlestar “Ow! Ow! The sun! It’s killing me! I feel like Galactica posters.

I’m crawling out of the dungeon of Baulder’s Gate: Dark Alliance for the first time!” he Since Sony PlayStation closed its gaming screamed as he rode on his Huffy three-speed network down after sources revealed to the Circle K for some Skittles. players’ personal data may be tainted and compromised, Malouf left his room for the “And bring back a half-gallon of 2% with first time in years. you,” his mother called after him. “And “I told that boy, ‘Get outside and get some quit bawling! You’re a grown man, fer chrissakes!” excercise!’ and I don’t mean just going

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 83

OUTRAGEOUS!

Useful iPhone Apps Expand OUTRAGEOUS! Marketshare

OUTRAGEOUS!

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Think tank experts in Research and Development ANY RESEMBLANCE at Apple implemented more applications, or “apps” as they’re known, to increase their visibility in the smartphone marketplace.

TO THE TRUTH IS

iWasThere says, “No you didn’t!”

Disagreeable dinner? iSoDelicious! says TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL what you can’t about the Turkey Tetrazzini.

Failed apps include an “instant” condom called the iRubber and the iFakeO masquerading as imitation orgasms “Sure, you can were clunky and keep making unconvincing and weather apps, risky whereas traffic apps, the controversial recipes, knot ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL iHeyMomI’mGay proved useful for those guides, surf reports, heck, even hooking uncomfortable “heart to heart” talks for up,” said one Apple programmer. “But we coming out to family members. wanted to make some apps that will help almost anybody. Almost anywhere. Well, as “We’re still working the kinks out of the long as they can afford and iPhone and the programming for the iToldYouSo app. app fees.”

People really seem to want that for those situations when they really want to rub Need to run a red light or a stop sign?

Try iRunThrough. Skipping church? somebody’s nose in something,” said Apple spokespeople.

Use iConfess. Missed a meeting? Wait!

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 85

the STUD advantage

By Mark Gray

Interview with Millionaire Dorian Black

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I

t’s no secret we are a culture consumed by image. Consider the following: over his career, a good-looking man will make $250,000 more than his least-attractive counterpart.

It’s called the “beauty premium”: the idea that pretty people, whatever their aspirations, tend to do better in, well, almost everything. Handsome men earn, on average, 5 percent more than less-attractive men. They get more attention from teachers, bosses, and mentors; even babies stare longer at good-looking faces (and we stare longer at good-looking babies).

A couple of years ago, when the economy was thriving, we might have brushed off those statistics as superficial. But in 2011, when employers have more hiring options than ever, looking good is no longer something we can dismiss as frivolous or vain.

When it comes to the workplace, it’s looks, not merit, that all too often rule. We spoke with former model turned business financier, Dorian Black, on how his beauty has helped him rise up the corporate ladder.

ION: Do you agree that being attractive has opened doors for you?

Dorian Black: I believe attractiveness is more then just good looks; it’s an overall appeal. If one presents with confidence, his energy and passion will be evident and people will subconsciously gravitate toward him.

ION: What role have your looks played in your quick rise up the corporate ladder?

DB: My rise up the corporate ladder wasn’t due to good looks. So much of my business takes place overseas. Oftentimes I’m at my desk holding meetings via conference call so clients can’t even see what I look like.

Still, I admit my looks can be an advantage when I eventually meet a client in person to close the deal.

ION: Do you rely on your looks to close a deal?

DB: No, it’s more accurate to say I rely on my polished presentation. I think a wellpresented businessman is always going to come off as organized, successful, and driven. My looks are a small part of it. The confidence I exude plays a much larger role.

ION: Do you believe you would have that same confidence if you were 5’ 6” tall and 200 pounds?

DB: Confidence doesn’t depend on weight or height. I work with all facets of individuals, large and small, who know they are great and aren’t afraid to show it off.

ION: Have you mastered the art of influencing people and getting them to like you?

DB: Before every meeting, I do my research on the companies and the executives I will be in front of that day. Recently, I met with an oil tycoon from Texas. Through research, I discovered he enjoyed 18th century art that focused on polo championships. In the first hour of our meeting, most of our conversation was centered on his love; particular artists and styles. We eventually got to discussing business and within 15 minutes, he agreed to invest with my company.

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 87

ION: So you influence people by pretending to have an appreciation for what they enjoy?

DB: I strive to build a connection to their world. That allows them to trust me. Its not manipulation; its communication.

ION: How important are clothes?

DB: Clothes are essential to the presentation. I wear labels but I never buy them unless they are on sale. Recently, I bought a Prada Suit that was 60% off. I advise guys to spend $250-$300 on a suit.

Spend a bit more on the tie and shoes and wear a shirt that requires cufflinks.

ION: What about the briefcase?

DG: If you are going to

splurge, splurge on a great briefcase. It may sound strange, but it is something that everyone notices. It is an accessory that spells out the type of client and employee you can and will be. I recently scored, finding a $2000 Zegna briefcase for 80% off – now that’s a bargain!

ION: How important is it to be up on football and golf stats?

DB: I have found discussing sports before a meeting is a cop-out. It’s too general. If you do the research on the executives you will be meeting with, then you can lead the conversation to more polished subject matters that they will be interested in.

ION: Is there something else the wellgroomed man should know if he wants to fit in with the white collar set?

DB: My father always told me, “be willing to spend money to fly First Class, because you never know who you will be sitting next to”.

It could be your next boss or client.

ION: Have your looks ever been a detriment in the board room?

DB: No, but my youth has. Not everyone is willing to take a COO in his early 30s seriously. But, as long as I maintain my confidence, without going overboard and falling into cockiness, I’m usually able to convince them I’m the right man for the job.

ION: What advice can you offer men on how to raise their attractiveness to get more attention on the job?

DB: Eat well, exercise, and be the best you can be. The well groomed man is polished and exudes confidence. You will find that being attractive requires not just a good suit, but also a great attitude and a lot passion.

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 89

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IONPHOENIX 1.

Amsterdam Amsterdam

718N.N.Central Central Ave. Phoenix 718 Ave.--Downtown Downtown PHX

(602)258-6122 258-6122 (602)

2.

Apollo’s Apollo’s

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix 5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 277-9373 (602) 277-9373

3.

Bar 1

4.

Bliss / Rebar

901 N. 4th St. - Phoenix

(602) 795-1792

5.

BS West

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(480) 945-9028

6.

Bunkhouse Charlie’s

4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix 727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 200-9154 (602) 265-0224

7.

Cash Inn Cherry Bar

2140 Rd.Rd.- -Phoenix 1028E.E.McDowell Indian School Phoenix

(602) (602)244-9943 277-7729

8.

Cherry Lounge Charlie’s

Every starting 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe 727 W. Thursday Camelback Rd.January - Phoenix (602) 265-0224

9.

The Chute Men’s Club Club Sutra

1440E. E Indian School - Phoenix 2424 Thomas Rd.Rd. - Phoenix

(602)682-5088 234-1654 (602)

Clarendon Hotel

3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 212-9888

Bar 1

BS West

Bunkhouse Cash Inn

10. Cruisin’ 7th Club Vibe 11. Dick’s Cabaret Cruisin’ 7th

3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

3702 N. 16th St. - Phoenix 7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001

(602) 266-9001 (480) 945-9028

(602) 200-9154

2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix 3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 244-9943

(602) CLARENDON

(602) 224-9977

(602) 274-DICK (602) 212-9888

Men’s Club 12. FLEX

1517 S Black Canyon Hwy - Phoenix

(602) 271-9011

13. Friends

1028 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 277-7729

videobar 14. icepics Forbidden

3108 Rd. - Phoenix 6820E. E.McDowell 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(602) 267-8707 forbiddenaz.com

15. Karamba Homme

1724 E. Camelback McDowellRd. Rd. - Phoenix 138 W. - Phoenix

(602) (602)254-0231 266-0875

icepics videobar 16. Kobalt

3108N. E. Central McDowell Rd. -- Phoenix Phoenix 3110 Ave.

(602)264-5307 267-8707 (602)

Incognito Lounge 17. Lush

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix 2050 N. Alma School - Chandler

(602) 955-9805 (480) 857-9444

Dick’s Cabaret The Door

Karamba

18. OZ

Kobalt

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe

(602) 274-DICK

(480) 967-DOOR

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231

3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 264-5307

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix (602) 242-5114

19. COMING IN MAY! PARADISE BAR 1749 W. Main St. - Mesa paradisebaraz.com OZ

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 242-5114

20. Plazma

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477

II 21. Pumphouse Pumphouse II

4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509 (602) 275-3509

22. Rainbow Retro Bar Cactus

15615 Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix 3114 N. E. Cactus Rd. - Phoenix

(602) (602)971-1086 493-0355

The Rock Rock 23. The

Roscoe’s 24. Roscoe’s

4129N. N. 7th 7th Ave. 4129 Ave.- Phoenix - Phoenix

(602)248-8559 248-8559 (602)

4531N. N.7th 7th St. 4531 St.- -Phoenix Phoenix

(602)285-0833 285-0833 (602)

Plazma

Rainbow Cactus

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477

(602) 867-2463

25. Trinity Nightclub (Thurs) 1420 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Scottsdale infernonights.com Velocity

26. Velocity Wild Card

27. Z Girl Club Z Girl Club

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler

4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix 4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 956-2885

(602) 956-2885 (480) 857-3088

(602) 265-3233 (602) 265-3233

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 91

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Apollo’s

Frat Dance Night 10pm 2-4-1 well/dom 50¢ draft refills

$5 red cup/50¢ refills 10a-10p Karaoke 9pm

$5 red cup/50¢ refills 10a-10p Male Strippers 10:30pm

Bar 1

Friday Happy Hour 4-7p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Saturday $2 dom bottle 6-9p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$2 Brown Bagged Beer 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Happier Hour 3-6:30p 2-4-1well $5 martinis-$3 all beer & h wine

Brunch 10am-2pm $4 Bloody $3 glass or $10 mimosas pitch

Sunday Chill 2-7pm 2-4-1 alcohol / $10 bucket beer

BS West

ELEMENTS Illusion Show Mandi & the Boom Boom Boys

2-4-1 everything all night Go-go dancers - A new tradition

Karaoke 9pm $1 Miller Lite drafts

Charlie’s

$3 pitchers/2-4-1 well/dom 2-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

$3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 12-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

Volleyball 4-7pm, NEW 3-4-1 $3 Long Islands, $3 pitchers

Club Sultra

Happy Hour 2 Dom. Beer $4 Wine/$5 Martini/Shot Special

$4 Lng Islnd / Adios M.F.$5 Afterhours ‘til 4 Free before 1

Cruisn’ 7th

TGIF - Devina 10:30 pm

AZ Leathermen Strippers 4:3 New Show Hostess Mia Adams

Morning Madness 1st & 3rd Sun $3 Svedka cocktails 7p-close

Dick’s Cabaret

2-4-1 VIP Dances 7pm ‘til 9pm

Off the Hook Tons of Prizes & Giveaways

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances & VIP Wristbands

$3 Pomegranate Presses Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$3 Bottle Beer & Tequila Shot Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$3 Brunch Drinks 50% off bottles of wine

MEAT - Hot Go Go Dancers $2.50 dom / $3 well / $4 Lg Isl.

The Chane Jordan Show! $4 SKYY cocktails 10pm

Show Tunes Sundays 2pm-8pm 2-4-1 drinks

R Bliss / ReBAR

R FEZ icepics The Leathermen

FRIDAY

Roscoe’s 10:00p- 1:00a

Cruisin’ 7th | Plazma 4:30p - 7:00p | 10:30p - 1:30p

Fridays Karaoke @ 9pm

Saturdays - Live DJ Starting at 10pm

Sunday Karaoke & Triva Night @ 8:30

Fridays $5 Pitchers

Saturdays $5 Pitchers

Sundays with Diamond $3 pitchers

R Maizie’s

Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Happy Hour Brunch 9a-2p 3-6pm Everyday

Brunch All Day Closes at 4pm

R Mi Patio

Fridays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Saturdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Sundays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm-Open 11-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm-Open 11-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

R Roscoe’s*

The Leathermen!

Great Happy Hour

Happy Hour 10am-7pm Free Darts All afternoon

Make your Bloody Mary Bar $8 Lg Isnd Pitch. $3 Beer Pitch.

R Switch

Fri: $3 House Margaritas Open from 11am-Midnight

Sat: $3 House Cosmo Martini Open from 10am-Midnight

$3 Sweet Tea Vodka Lemonade $3 Breakfast Carafes Open @ 10

R Ticoz

Fridays 1/2 off Coronas all day Happy Hour 3-6:30pm

Saturday 1/2 off well vodka Brunch 10a-3p - HH 3-6:30p

Sundays 1/2 off Sangria Pitch Brunch 10a-3p - HH 3-6:30

R Lush Lounge Karamba

The Rock

Trinity Nightclub Z Club

R 92

FULL MENU

May 26th - The biggest, wettest 18+ FOAM PARTY at Trinity Fridays FREE Hot Wings!

DJ Tsunami 9p-2a

* LIMITED MENU/TIMES

www.IONAZ.com May 2011

Saturday DJ Rebel X 9p-2a

Sundays with Truett 2-4-1 3 Olives

FREE PROJECT HARD HAT CONDOMS

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

Drag Bingo 9:30 2 for 1 u-call-it all day/night

Live Cabaret Show 8 pm $2 off any martini

Happy Hour All day / All night

Karaoke 9:30pm

Monday $1 Bud Lt. Drft 4-cl.

10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

KAROKE $2.50 wel, dom 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$1 OFF in your undies/leather 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Thursday 2-4-1 U Call It 10a- cl 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Student Salvation Mondays $20 Plate of apps + bottle wine

Twofer Tuesdays $20 2 burgers/fries/2 dom beer

2-4-1 Wednesdays 9pm-close 2-4-1 on ALL drinks

Thirstday Thursdays $4 AMF, Lng Islnd/ Skinny drink

W.H.O.R.E. Service Industry $2 dom $3 well $4 bombers

Stars of Tomorrow Show with Kendra St. James $4 Skyy

2-4-1 All Day and All Night A valley tradion!

Alternative Night w/Shane Ecks $2 drafts

2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 8p-close $3 Pinnacle

2-4-1 All Day! Cocktails and beer

Karaoke 9pm

Steppin’ Out TC Taylor hosts 10:30 pm - $2 domestic

AZ Leathermen Strippers 10:30 pm

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances, VIP Wristbands

Amateur Night Starts at 10pm

Wacky Wednesdays $5 Cover and almost everything else

Stripper Karaoke

$3 Burgers $ Margaritas Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

‘tini Tuesdays $3 Martinis Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$20 Any Bottle of Wine Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

$3 G Spots Happy Hour Everyday 4-6:30 p

Martini Night $4 SKYY Martinis

GLEE starting at 7pm 2-4-1 drinks during the show

Karaoke starting at 9pm $3 well/$2.50 dom./$4 martinis

2-4-1 in undies beer/well 9p-cl $3 Three Olives Thursdays

Underwear Party 8-cl 1/2 price 2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 2-8pm $3 pitch. 2-4-1 well/dom 8p-Close 2-4-1 cocktails/dom

Cruisin’ 7th 10:30p - 12:30p

The Leathermen perform at Roscoe’s, Cruisin’ 7th and Plazma!

Mondays $3 U-Call-It

Tuesdays 2-4-1

Wednesday $3 U-Call-It SHOTS

Thursdays Game & Trivai Night @ 9pm

Mondays Karaoke $2 drinks all night

Tuesdays with Savannah $2 Drinks All Night

Wednesdays with Barbra Seville $2 Drinks All Night

Thursdays with Ruby $2 drinks all night

$4 Bistro Burgers 4-10pm $10 off of all Bottled Wines

Pizza/Wine Special Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

BBQ Short Ribs Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

$3 Mexican Beers Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Mondays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Tuesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Wednesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Thursdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Happy Hour ‘til 8pm- Open 2-2 $4.50 Stoli drinks ALL DAY!

Monday Pool Tournament 2-4-1 beer & well 7pm-close

2 for Tuesdays 2-4-1 drinks all day

Wednesday All Day Happy Hour

Thursdays 2-4-1 7pm

Mon: $3 House Chard and Cab Open from 11am-Midnight

Tue: $3 Drunken Italian Sodas Open from 11am-Midnight

Wed: $3 Sangrias Open from 11am-Midnight

Thur: $3 Caipirinhas Open from 11am-Midnight

Mondays 1/2 off Mojitos HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid

Tuesdays 1/2 off Sangrias HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid

Wednesdays 1/2 off Margaritas HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid

Thursdays 1/2 off draft beer HH 3-6:30pm - Open 11am-Mid INFERNO THURSDAYS 18+ The hottest, biggest dance club

$4 Wells / $4 Long Island / $4 Adios MF Mondays DJ Spinna 9p-2a $2.75 pitchers

Tuesdays 2-4-1

Wednesdays 2-4-1 Karaoke with Nikki Knowels

Thursdays DJ Spinna

ION ARIZONA May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 93

94

www.IONAZ.com May 2011

by Addison DeWitt

Another great Pride under my belt, along with a few corndogs, hamburgers, cherry lemonades, and eggrolls. But I think you’ll all agree it was a great success!

out and stay out. And no Vodka Stinger to go, either! Sheesh!

There is a happy ending to the story: the boys got out of paying the no doubt sizeable tab they’d racked up. And they only drink top shelf, too. So there is a silver lining to the story! And thanks for passing it along, pussycat! I don’t know how much it helped in troubleshooting, but it made a great story! I sure needed one!

And a hip, hip, whore-gay to another fabulous Pornopalooza at BS West thanks to Mistress of Ceremonies, Mandi Boom Boom who invited a From the “Separated at stable full of sizzling Birth Files” comes this fleshpots like reality amazing, Truth-Is-StrangerTV Big Brother alum Than-Fiction discovery! (and they weren’t Shocking, but true! It kidding about the “big” could only happen here! part!) Steven Daigle.

And remember, folks, you It’s always a treat to read it in ION Arizona first! It see Jason Pitt running was like finding a needle in a around in his skivvies, gaystack! Picture this: Phoenix which seemed remarkably Gay Pride 2011. Is this handsome, overdressed for him compared young man on the right the long lost twin to how I like to see him. And it’s always a of local Kate Moss Size 00 gadabout Craig treat to see my favorite hot mess by his own admission (and I mean that in a loving, Rubin? (Pictured below) caring way, darling!) blue movie blogger, The resemblance is uncanny! The stunning the blondacious Brandon Baker. (above) smile, the dashing good looks, the Iman supermodel bone structure, The oversized Let’s punctuate this blind item with a big, ... uh ... glasses. It girly “squeal!” A dear reader sent me a was like those frantic email attempting to do some a two little wee bit of damage control concerning a shenanigan that got a little too — well — shenaniganny for some local beef eaters. Seems a trio of swanky swells were boozing it up at a celebrated Central Phoenix chop house and having a Gay ol’ time when the troupe of Marys’ merrymaking got a teensy too vocal about tube steak, beef baloney ponies and trouser trout over their Pink Squirrels. And they weren’t talking about the meaty menu, either. A certain surly waitress had a belly full of their rollicking Bette Davis imitations and pulled a Stonewall on these three queens, inviting them to get

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 95

by Addison DeWitt

Lindsay Lohans in The Parent Trap! Except without all the cocaine and legal problems.

What are the odds? Well, okay. Of course there’s that whole rigamarole about one’s Latino/one’s Jewish thing, but why split hairs over details? My only hope is that these two will find each other and be reunited so they can fight over Tic-Tacs, Diet Pepsi and their mother’s affection someday. Someday. If you are Craig Rubin’s secret twin, please let us know!

Unless it really is Craig masquerading as a sexy little Latino with a handlebar

96

www.IONAZ.com May 2011

mustache in the Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program.

You boys can thank me later. Remember, when you’re here, you’re family.

Just like you are at the Olive Garden of Babara Eden.

This month’s Party Penguin is the luscious Michael Arbizo. This fabulous ballerina can pirouette onto these pages anytime! He’s the bomb!

If you’ve been kicked out of a restaurant or if you’re looking for your long-lost twin, or just want to give Addison a little TLC, please e-mail him at RumorHound@aol.com

not careful. An Aries and a Libra will point and laugh at you. We all will. Really hard.

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

Expand your horizons. Do something that surprises yourself. It may be kite flying, or more than likely admitting you’re wrong for once. Reach out to someone who thinks you’re a bitch just to prove how sweet you really are. You are sweet, aren’t you? Well?

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

You have the Midas Touch. But remember: all is not gold that glitters, and all is not silver that shines. So be wary of the value you place on things. Money isn’t everything. But it sure does help! A Cancer thinks your wallet is cute, too.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

People are drawn to you because of your personality. These same people like to stare at horrible car accidents, too. Make sure your charm shines brightly. If it’s your birthday, expect a special opportunity to come your way. Be nice to Aquarians. Seriously. Very nice. It’ll pay off in the long run. I hope.

You’ve got a right to sing the Blues, but we like Show Tunes more! No more Billie Holiday songs. Sing out, Louise! You’ll be plucked out of the chorus and singing to a packed house centerstage in no time. You’ve got a fan club and a Leo wants to sing a duet with you.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

People seek your advice this month and you’ve got it down to a science. Be careful when an Aquarius or a Gemini asks your opinion. No answer will be the right one. You’ll be better off agreeing with them. Just nod your head and say, “You are correct!”

Your wanderlust has you setting out on a voyage of discovery. It might be across country, or maybe right in your own backyard.

Learn to read a roadmap. It will give you direction, emotionally or physically. No backseat drivers allowed. Put on your seatbelts! If it’s a birthday month expect a challenge, emotional or physical.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

There’s something rotten in Denmark. Or it might be a lot closer. Your inner Hamlet detects something you thought was fresh ends up stinkin’ up the joint. Take out the metaphorical trash and spray some Febreze in the air. You’ll be glad you did.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

You did a good deed that you may not remember. Now you’ll reap the Karma that you sowed from that seemingly insignificant act. Don’t expect to win the Lottery now, but it’ll be a pleasant surprise. Isn’t the Universe wonderful? A Scorpio returns a favor.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

You have a habit of taking the moral high ground lately. Sometimes you’re respected for it. Sometimes it makes you look like a jerk.

You may fall on your celebrated ass if you’re 98

www.IONAZ.com

May 2011

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

You’re “get up ‘n’ go” got up and went. Time for a little rest and relaxation. But don’t waste too much time in front of the TV, couch potato. You may miss out on a good time with a Pisces if you wait for that commercial break. Up ‘n’ at ‘em! Up and let’s go!

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

A clever fox attempts to steal chickens from your henhouse this month but you’ll outsmart him. The look on his face is priceless when he discovers the jig is up. Your reward may be in pennies and nickels, but it all spends the same. A Scorpio will help you cash out.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You’re Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, and Encyclopedia Brown all rolled into one. Your detective work uncovers something you suspected all along. And it’s not Colonel Mustard in the Drawing Room with a candlestick, either. A Capricorn is caught redhanded with his hand in the cookie jar.

May 2011 www.IONAZ.com 99