ION Arizona #199

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BASIC BITCH BRUNCH

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2601 On Central

FOR MORE GREAT PHOTOS VISIT IONAZ.COM

830 N. 1st Ave., Unit 203 Phoenix, AZ 85003 (602) 308-4662 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com PUBLISHER / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com EDITOR Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez LAYOUT DESIGNER ............................................. Alex Campos PRODUCTION & ARTWORK SUBMISSIONS

ionazproduction@me.com

ADVERTISING SALES Jack Tesorero ............................................................ (602) 750-1164

jacktesorero@me.com

PHOTOGRAPHERS:

Franklin Diaz Alex Campos Fernando Hernandez

Scotty Kirby Tiffany Photography

Danny Catt

NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS:

Addison DeWitt C. Edwards Ted Kirby

Peter Lora Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger

Published monthly by

1995-2018: 23 Years of Design and Creative Excellence © 2018 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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IT SNOWS!

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CHARLIE’S PHX

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VIVRE

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BULIDING BLOCKS COUNSELING

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FESTIVAL OF TREES

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PHX CHILDERENS MUSEUM

PARTY CAM

FOR MORE GREAT PHOTOS VISIT IONAZ.COM

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4TH AVE STREET FAIR

IBT’S

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ONESIE BAR CRAWL

KO BA LT • LO S D I A B LO S • CH A R LI E’S & M O R E

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AUNT RITA’S RED BRUNCH

FOR MORE GREAT PHOTOS VISIT IONAZ.COM

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SHER ATON HOTEL

Photos by Randy & Sophia Bingham

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Good-bye and Hello H

appy New Year! 2017 was an interesting year for our community, our state and our country. With every new year we say “good-bye” and “hello.”

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Good-bye pounds While many of you will start the year with ambitious goals and resolutions, I use the New Year as the finish line. I’ve C spent the better part of this year losing weight. As of today, I lost 35 pounds. It wasn’t easy but I’ve never felt and looked better.

What are your goals and resolutions?

Hello Alex We’re excited to welcome our newest team member, Alex Campos (C). Many of you know Alex and his company Leaked Glass as the official photographer of Phoenix Pride. Alex will help with layout, design and, of course, photography.

Goodbye Justin, hello Mike Phoenix Pride is going through some changes, as well. After nearly five years of service, Justin Owen 28

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(A) stepped down as Executive Director of Phoenix Pride.

Taking over as interim Executive Director is Mike Fornelli (B), co-owner of BS West. We wish Justin all the luck in the future and we welcome Mike!

Goodbye Coletta For 30 years, many of you B had your car washed at Los Olivos Hand Car Wash. Their last day of business was December 31.

Owner Coletta Spurling (D) sold the land to—you guessed it—another developer. Coletta is a huge supporter and ally of our community.

She’s been an advertiser in ION Arizona and believed in us since the beginning. We’ll miss you Coletta, Jovel, along with your wonderful staff and the best hand job in town!

Our 199th issue is dedicated to the 2018 Spring Sports D season! A lot of our readers are athletes in local leagues. If you want to get involved, this issue has all the information you need! Get up and do something!

The New Year is a perfect time to start!

Jack Tesorero Sports Fan

Amanda Lepore

Puts the Pedal to the Metal in Sultry New Single, “Buckle Up” Photos: Josef Jasso 30

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“ et ready, you’re in for a bumpy ride.” says Amanda Lepore in “Buckle Up,” the first single from her soon-tobe-released EP titled, LEPORE. The flirty and playful song, with its burlesque, retro-pop swing, is the first original solo release from the world’s mega-famous transsexual since I … Amanda Lepore, her 2011 album debut that featured the smash hits, “My Hair Looks Fierce,” “Champagne,” “Turn Me Over” and “My Pussy.”

“My goal with ‘Buckle Up’ is to whip naughty boys and girls around and leave ‘em asking the questions they don’t want their mothers knowing the answers to,” coos Lepore. “Buckle Up” was written and produced by RedTop (“Convertible”), Knifekick, Ted Ottaviano (from the 80s synthpop group Book Of Love), DJ Angelo “Pepe,” indie-pop ingenue Megan Vice, and Lepore’s longtime musical collaborator, Bill Coleman from Peace Bisquit. “The song is sexy, bubbly, and takes on the night—like me,” Lepore continues. “And just as I’m easy on the eyes, ‘Buckle Up’ is easy on the ears.”

“Amanda is a woman who unapologetically owns her sexuality and is never afraid to flaunt what she’s got,” explains disco songstress Megan Vice on the inspiration for writing the single. “I had that in mind when I first began putting pen to paper. I wanted the listener to get a sense for how that tough broad managed to carve out her own path to greatness despite all of life’s roadblocks. These days it’s Amanda’s

way or the highway—as it should be because she’s earned it.”

“We concentrated on figuring out the perfect equation that paired a sweet hook with a bouncy groove, to really showcase Amanda‘s devilish side,” says Knifekick.

The aim was to marry Amanda’s love of Hollywood glamour and vintage bombshells with kick-up-your-Louboutins humor and a showgirl’sworthy groove. They needed just the right amount of camp that would complement Amanda’s classics.

“We nailed it in ‘Buckle Up,’” says Coleman. “We’re excited for fans to hear the next evolution of music from the hardest working gal in nightlife.”

The official audio/video montage clip edited by Scott J. Heller, features exclusive Amanda Lepore portraits

by David LaChapelle, Vijat Mohindra, Josef Jasso, Karl Giant, Marco Ovando, Alvaro Villarrubia and more. The clip also includes many of Amanda’s personal favorite images, selected for her memoir and coffee table book, Doll Parts.

Amanda Lepore is ecstatic to share “Buckle Up” and more of her new music. “I cannot wait to share my new songs and perform them live!” she squealed.

The single is distributed by Peace Bisquit and available for download now by pre-ordering LEPORE, releasing February 2018.

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Scott lost his fight with cancer surrounded by love from his family and friends. He had a genius for friendship and loving others, living exactly as he wished.

Scott was in the cast of Up With People, and the director of the Friends and Family program for the US Olympic team. He was a leader in the Phoenix Men’s Metropolitan Chorus, and a favorite bartender and karaoke host at Kobalt bar.

Scott is survived by his mother Lois, his sister Paula and sister-in-law Maria, many honorary siblings and friends.

Celebrate Scott’s life January 14, 2018 at 2 pm at The Parsons Center for Health and Wellness, 1101 N. Central Avenue, Phoenix. Scott never left the house without a splash of neon; wear something colorful to celebrate his zest for living.

“I learned to laugh and love and my soul grew, All from the pure joy of knowing you.”

— Corinth Merrifield, friend of over 20 years January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 33

e n u t For r e t n Hu

Out & proud, stand-up comic

Fortune Feimster

by Deon Brown

comes to Phoenix.

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he’s your everyday, garden variety lesbian stand-up comic. Fortune Feimster is gaining traction in Hollywood since she moved there from Belmont, North Carolina in 2003. She worked as an entertainment blogger when she joined The Groundlings Theatre for sketch comedy and improv as a “hobby.” Before long, it became her passion.

In 2010 she caught the nation’s eye when she competed on Last Comic Standing. (“There’s no better audience than a trapped one,” she quipped.)

Variety named her “Top 10 Comics to Watch in 2014.”

Her regular appearances on Chelsea Handler’s show on Netflix as the “freshly tarted up” Sarah Huckabee Sanders giving a “makeup tutorial” along with scathing political commentary are hysterical. (Check it out on YouTube.)

She also had a role on the acclaimed sitcom, The Mindy Project. Her inebriated retelling of Popé and the Pueblo Indians revolt against the Spanish colonists on Comedy Central’s Drunk History should be taught in schools across America.

Fortune almost had a regular gig on network TV. “I sold a pilot a few years ago and it was announced alongside the remake of Uncle Buck. People thought I was going to play a female Uncle Buck.

They were so excited and I had to say, ‘No, I sold a show based on my life,’ and they were, like, ‘Oh. We don’t want that.

Play Uncle Buck.’”

That didn’t happen, but it didn’t get Fortune down. “I would say my career is in a very good place. I’m in a place of

a lot of hope for what’s next. I see something great, but I’m not quite there,” she said optimistically.

An out lesbian, Fortune commented, “Blake Shelton gives me hope that I, too, could one day be People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive.’”

Fortune’s comedy touches on things that happen in everyday life. She aptly observed that “Social media is a fun place where fat, ugly guys constantly call everybody they don’t like ‘fat and ugly’” in a recent tweet.

Who knows where Fortune’s career will go? “I’m going to stick to what I know best: comedy. I may not be saving lives or changing the world, but if I can get one person to think differently about gay people because I made them laugh, then I will have succeeded. I’ll also hopefully have one more follower on Twitter, because in the end, that’s what really matters.”

Well, that, and “Do people still enjoy cheesecake as much as The Golden Girls did?”

You can follow Fortune on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @fortunefunny Catch Fortune January 11-13 at Rick Bronson’s House of Comedy, 5350 E. High St. in Phoenix. Doors open at 6 p.m. For tickets visit AZ.HouseOfComedy.net or call 480-420-3553 January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 35

BIG GAY SING ALONG - RENT

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FILM BAR

FOR MORE GREAT PHOTOS VISIT IONAZ.COM

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PHOENIX AIDS CANDLE LIGHT VIGIL

FOR MORE GREAT PHOTOS VISIT IONAZ.COM

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THE PARSONS CENTER

Photos by Randy & Sophia Bingham

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“ This Ain’t RuPaul ’s Best Friends’ Race! ”

Season 3 All Stars start their engines.

by Peter Lora PeterWasTheWolf@Gmail.com Photos courtesy of VH1

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fter snatching three Emmy Awards and slaying ratings with its move to Vh1, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars is back with even more legendary queens ready to come for each other and battle it out for their second chance at the crown. None of these ladies made it all the way or even to the Top 3 on their respective season, but this cast is full of hungry bitches just waiting to prove it’s not about winning the battle, it’s about slaying the war.

BenDeLaCreme Campy Seattle queen BenDeLaCreme’s Season 6 “Snatch Game” winning performance of Maggie Smith was one of the best in Drag Race Herstory, but her terminally delightful character was no match to her candid competitors, leaving her with only the “Miss Congeniality” title proving that when people say someone’s nice, it really just means they’re boring.

The Tea: Saying what she really thinks and slaying “Snatch Game.”

The Shade: Forgetting the Ben in BenDeLaCreme … that annoying character voice.

Morgan McMichaels Morgan’s most memorable moment is really someone else’s … When Mystique yelled, “Bitch, I am from Chicago!” it was aimed at her. After winning the first challenge of Season 2, Morgan floundered and eventually flopped in the first ever “Snatch Game.” 1 P!nk, but definitely 2 stinks.

The Tea: Back on the stripper pole where she succeeded the first time.

The Shade: As stylist Mathu Andersen put it, “… those Sharpie eyebrows ...”

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Shangela

Halleloo! Shangela Laquifa Wadley is back and “she [still] doesn’t have a sugar daddy, but if she wanted to have a sugar daddy, she could have a sugar daddy, because she is what!? Sickening!” Shangela’s third time on the competition could be the charm. Since her Season 2 and 3 departures she’s appeared on Glee, 2 Broke Girls, Community, a Lady GaGa video and on stage with Miley.

The Tea: A lead role in an acting challenge.

The Shade: Shangela is the definition of extra ... pushing a handmade snowman on stage, breaking your leg doing a death drop extra.

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Aja “You’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you look like Linda Evangelista …” Aja’s unhinged rant over fellow Season 9 queen Valentina’s early successes was arguably the highlight of her season, amplified in its ridiculousness by her Heatmiser styled wig and ill-fitting X-tina era chaps. Her electrifying lip sync ability couldn’t save Aja from her lackluster 9021-HO acting performance.

The Tea: Give her a talent show or some shade to react to and she’ll shine.

The Shade: Like Alyssa Edwards before her, Aja is best unscripted, give her a script and it’s Rosie Perez’ worst performance ever.

Kennedy Davenport

For Kennedy Davenport “The struggle was real” on Season 7, her tried and true Texas drag fell flat next to the more creative queens. Who could forget her rotisserie chicken in thigh-highs runway? In a season where looks trumped experience, Kennedy’s “Roar” lip sync with its Katya coordinated acrobatics reminded us all enter-taint-ment is why we watch.

The Tea: Thinking outside of her Cirque du So-gay presents Janet Jackson box.

The Shade: In a cast full of risk takers, sticking to tried and true will bore Ru.

Thorgy Thor

Thorgy Thor’s biggest mistake on Season 8 was being on the same season as Bob the Drag Queen. Even though the Brooklynite classical musician-turned-drag queen seemed to excel, Bob seemed to be front and center and two steps ahead.

Her other mistake was shoving as many concepts as possible into a challenge and those dreadful dreads into a tasteful afro.

The Tea: Getting a chance to show off her Thor-chestral skills.

The Shade: First time shame on Ru, second time around shame on Thorgy if she doesn’t do any better.

MILK

When MILK first walked into the workroom on Season 6, it was obvious she was going to give us something dreamy on stage and something creamy off of it.

A Pinocchio nose, boy drag, pregnancy and a beard made for some legen-dairy looks.

Unlike Raja before, her lack of technical know-how let MILK spoil.

The Tea: fashionfriendly runways where he can let his freak flag fly.

The Shade: Disregard and not tailoring for her audience could leave any guest judge as confused as Trina and Eve were the first time around.

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Chi Chi DeVayne

On Season 8 Chi Chi DeVayne used her Southern charm and backflips, kicks and splits to divert our eyes from her repurposed swimsuits, electrical tape and tin foil accessories, not to mention her lack of book learnin’. Case in point: Rupaul: “Chi Chi, you’ve won a trip to New England.” Chi Chi: “So I get to go overseas?” After touring the world the self-professed cheap queen is back with a bigger budget and a sense of geography.

The Tea: A “Partner Challenge” where she’s paired with someone on the intellectual end.

The Shade: Relying on kicks and splits in a cast full of them

Trixie Mattel

“Oh honey, hoooonnney!” Trixie Mattel’s confessionals were a hysterical narration of the early episodes of Season 7. The season ended up being about a New York boy without a personality, a chubby queen from Florida and someone who championed corsetry. Since then, Trixie’s turned the face that only a mother could love into a top selling album and a hit TV show.

Could the All-Stars crown be hers next?

The Tea: Disarming her competition by using their own catch phrases and jokes against them.

The Shade: Holding back all that Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent.

The new season will return with an explosive 90-minute premiere on an all-new night, Thursday, January 25 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on VH1 Peter Lora is a RuPaul aficionado as well as the Music Critic for ION Arizona. He can be reached at PeterWasTheWolf@gmail.com and followed on Instagram at PeterWasTheWolf January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 45

Mr. Phoenix Leather Weekend Embrace your inner-leatherman. Join in the hide-tanned hotness for the 10th Annual Mr. Phoenix Leather Weekend January 4-7. Four days of fun, brotherhood, socials, contests and, of course, lots of leather. Locales include The Anvil, Bunkhouse, Los Diablos, The Rock and FLEX Spas. For a full itinerary and tickets check out MrPhoenixLeather.com. Photo by Scotty Kirby

Ignite Your Status!

If you’re living with HIV, need tested, have questions, or want to socialize with others, the SW Center of HIV/AIDS Ignite program has great resources and events. Dining out, karaoke, monthly movies, and mixers are informative, a great way to connect with others, and fun. You’re not alone! Learn more at IgniteYourStatus.org (See ad on p. 50)

Gay Skate AZ Show off your fancy roller skating moves like the Grapevine, the Barrel Roll or Shoot the Turkey. It’s time for the Gay Skate AZ “Winter White Party” with Mia Inez Adams as your hostess. Thursday, January 25, 8-11 p.m. at Great Skate, 10054 N. 43rd Ave. in Glendale. This is a #MoreThanBars event. (See ad on p. 69)

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Trae Crowder at Joan Greene for Congress Kick-off Hillbilly-in-Chief and Tennessee’s Liberal Redneck Trae Crowder talks about homos, algebra, and other shit people don’t understand. This is also a kick-off event for out lesbian Joan Greene for Congress (CD5). 6 p.m. Thursday, January 18 at StandUp Live at CityScape, 50 W. Jefferson. Use promo code GREENE and meet Trae Crowder.

StandUpLive.com or call 480-719-6100

Stripper Pole Olympics at Dick’s Cabaret You’ve never seen a competition like this! Who’ll win bragging rights as the best pole athlete for 2018? Russia? The USA? Or maybe Tempe? We can’t wait to see the opening ceremonies! Prizes & Giveaways! January 19-20 at Dick’s Cabaret, 3432 E. Illini Rd. in Phoenix. (See ad p. 86)

JANUARY 2018 ION EVENTS DATE EVENT Mon The Strip Factor Tue Ignite Your Status Q&A LIVE 4-7 Mr. Phoenix Leather Weekend 5 Céntrico Restaurant Grand Opening 6 Mr. Phx Leather After Party - 6 Circus Party 11 Katy Perry Look-a-Like Contest 12-13 Fortune Feimster 13 AZ Men of Leather Night 16 Mr. Club Volt Toga Party 17 Ignite Your Status Mixer 18 Phoenix Pride Mixer 18 90s Dance Party 19 Pup Night 19-20 Stripper Pole Olympics 20 Blackout 20 Go Go Boy-Palooza 25 Gay Skate AZ 26 Mystery of Déjà Vu FEBRUARY 4 Super Bowl After Party 9-11 Desperado LGBTQ Film Festival

LOCATION Charlie’s Facebook various Hotel San Carlos FLEX Spas Charlie’s Charlie’s House of Comedy The Anvil Club Volt Bliss Rebar Club Volt Club Volt The Anvil Dick’s Cabaret The Anvil Karamba Great Skate Bunkhouse

CITY Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Glendale Phoenix

Dick’s Cabaret PVCC

Phoenix Phoenix

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Pipin’ Hot Thursdays at Charlie’s The sugar coated Piper M’Shay swish, swishes over to Charlie’s on Thursday nights where she’ll roar onto the stage with pop-up performances by special guests and giveaways. Win tickets to the Katy Perry concert at the “Look-a-Like Contest” on January 11 or again on January 18 when you can see “Katy Perry vs. Carly Rae Jepsen.” We guarantee there’ll be fireworks at Charlie’s, 727 W. Camelback Rd. in Phoenix.

602-265-0224 CharliesPhoenix.com Photo by Scotty Kirby

JANUARY 2018 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME Thurs 4 10:00pm Wed 10 Thurs 11 10:00pm Tues 16 9:00pm Thurs 18 10:00pm Sun 21 6:00pm Tues 23 9:00pm Thurs 25 Fri 26 10:00pm Tues 30 9:00pm Sun 28 Mondays 10:00pm Tuesday 10:00pm Tuesdays Wednesdays 10:00pm Wednesdays 10:30pm Wednesdays 10:00pm Thursdays 9:00pm Thursdays 10:30pm Thursdays 10:00pm 1st&3rd Thurs 10:00pm 1st & 3rd Fri 10:30pm 2nd & 4th Fri 10:30pn Fridays 10:00pm Fridays 10:30 Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 9:00pm Saturdays 10:30pm Saturdays 10:30pm Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 9:30pm 1st Sunday 2:00pm 4th Sun 2:00pm Sundays 8:30pm Sundays 7:00pm

LOCATION Charlies Karamba Charlies Club Volt Club Volt The Rock Club Volt Karamba The Rock Club Volt Karamba Charlie’s Karamba BS West Club Volt Karamba Charlie’s Cruisin’ 7th Karamba Charlie’s The Rock Cruisin’ 7th Cruisin’ 7th Club Volt The Rock Plazma BS West Club Vlt Cruisin’ 7th The Rock Charlie’s Cruisin’ 7th Cruisin’ 7th Charlie’s BS West

SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Candyland w/ Piper M’Shay, Pussy, Claudia B & Nevaeh Cher Tribute with Ariana Katy Perry Look-A-Like Contest with Piper M’Shay Mr Club Volt Toga Party 90’s Dance Party Hosted by Miley Mitchells Miss Rock Pageant honoring Daynah Rivera Miss Club Volt Ruby’s Toga Party with Ruby Lady Christians Trailer Trash Revue Brii St. James & Dustin Riot Adriana’s Broadway Show Claudia B & Coco St. James - The Strip Factor Savannah Moussier’s Show The Next Big Star with Naomi St. James T Party hosted by Gia DeMilo Karamba Girls - Adriana Galiano & Karime Lizaldi Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Grande Rains with Espressa Grande and Amber Rains Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Piping Hot Thursdays with Piper M’Shay Valentina’s Cantina with Valentina Knowles Olivia’s Garden Party Nikki at Night with Nikki Knowles 4Some Revue with Miley, Gia, Piper & Luna Special Event Rotating Drag Shows New Times Best Drag Show Freaky Fridays with Celia Putty Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Volt Vixxxens with Naomi St. James & Mia Adams Lady Christian’s Lady & the Tramps The Barbra Seville Show Pussy’s Patio Show Excuse Our Beauty Revue Cruisin’ for a Cause Pussy LeHoot & Friends The Showgirl Follies Big Sexy Show January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 49

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St. Vincent

The gender and sexually fluid St. Vincent (born Annie Clark) cut her musical teeth with Polyphonic Spree and the breathy Sufjan Stevens. Her Grammy Award winning music teeters between “happiness and madness.” Friday, January 26 at The Van Buren, 401 W. Van Buren St. in Phoenix. Visit TheVanBurenPHX.com or TicketMaster.com. 800-745-3000

Passion Pit

The quirky “indietronica” sound and chorus of this Massachusetts band will wake up “Sleepyheads” Passion Pit comes to town! Don’t miss them on Friday, February 2 at the Marquee Theatre, 730 N. Mill Ave. in Tempe. For tickets call 480-839-0707 or visit LuckyManOnline.com

Shakira

There’s a she-wolf in disguise! This hypnotic Columbian beauty’s hips don’t lie. Whenever, wherever ... actually, on Saturday, February 3 she’ll be at the Talking Stick Resort Arena, 201 E. Jefferson St. in Phoenix. Visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000.

That’s the deal, my dear.

JANUARY 2018 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE ARTIST 3 Willie Nelson 5 Willie Nelson 5 Holiday Hangover 10 Marilyn Manson 14 Sheila E. 19 Katy Perry 20 Morris Day & the Time 25 Jefferson Starship 26 St. Vincent 27 Hippo Campus 28 Adam Ant 31 Manhattan Transfer FEB 2 Passion Pit 2 Ladysmith Black Mambazo 3 Shakira

LOCATION PHONE Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 602-267-1600 Des. Diamond Casino - Sahuarita 520-297-7777 The Van Buren - Phoenix 800-745-3000 The Van Buren - Phoenix 800-745-3000 Rialto Theatre - Tucson 877-987-6487 Gila River Arena - Glendale 800-745-3000 BLK Live - Scottsdale 480-494-5069 BLK Live - Scottsdale 480-494-5069 The Van Buren - Phoenix 800-745-3000 The Van Buren - Phoenix 800-745-3000 Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 602-267-1600 Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 602-267-1600 Marquee Theatre - Tempe 480-839-0707 Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-8587 Talking Stick Resort Arena - Phx 800-745-3000 January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 51

Fortune Feimster

You remember her as “Butch Melman” on Glee, or as Colette Kimball-Kinney on The Mindy Project. Fortune was a writer on Chelsea Lately and she’s bringing her stand-up to Phoenix January 11-13 at Rick Bronson’s House of Comedy at 5350 E. High St. Get tickets at AZ.HouseOfComedy.net or call 480-420-3553

Outside Mullingar

From the writer of Moonstruck and Doubt comes this Irish rom-com. Anthony and Rosemary are neighboring lovelorn farmers who haven’t got a clue when it comes to love. They need to overcome a bitter land feud and family rivalries to make it work.

Arizona Theatre Company, Jan. 20-Feb. 10, Temple of Music & Art, 330 S. Scott, Tucson. TIX: 520-622-2823 or ArizonaTheatre.org

It’s Only a Play

It’s opening night for playwright Peter Austin. His career is on the line. He shares the event with his best friend, the producer, the doped-up diva, the director, a lethal critic, and a coat check attendant. Terrence McNally’s comedy about theatre people at their theatrical worst.

Jan. 24-Feb. 11 at Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. Tix: 602-254-2151 or PhoenixTheatre.com

JANUARY 2018 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE

4-6 5-28 11-13 11-13 12-27 12-2/4 12-2/10 18-20 18-21 20 20-2/10 24-2/11 26-27 30-2/25

EVENT

Alex Moffatt from SNL Man of La Mancha Fortune Feimster Gilbert Gottfried Romeo & Juliet Night of the Chicken Showboat David Alan Grier Andrew Santino Kristina Wong Outside Mullingar It’s Only a Play Jim Belushi Hamilton

FEBRUARY

9 Jerry Seinfeld thru 2/10 See How They Run

COMPANY

PHONE

Tempe Improv AZ Theatre Co. (Phx) House of Comedy - Phx Tempe Improv SW Shakespeare Co.- Mesa Space55- Phx AZ B’way Theatre - Peoria Tempe Improv House of Comedy - Phx ASU Gammage - Tempe AZ Theatre Co. (Tuc) Phoenix Theatre - Phx Tempe Improv ASU Gammage - Tempe

480-921-9877 602-256-6995 480-420-3553 480-921-9877 480-644-6500 Space55.com 623-776-8400 480-921-9877 480-420-3553 480-965-3434 520-622-2823 602-254-2151 480-921-9877 SOLD OUT

Comerica Theatre - Phx Hale Theatre - Gilbert

602-379-2800 480-497-1181

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Why Be Normal?

Saturday Church Starring: Luka Kain, Regina Taylor, Kate Bornstein Who are you?

Does anybody understand who you really are? 14-yearold Ulysses (breakout star Kain, pictured top) is shy and effeminate in New York City.

After his father dies, he’s forced to adapt to his new role as “man of the house” in a home with his mother and younger brother, where his very conservative aunt (awardwinning Taylor, tv’s I’ll Fly Away) rules the roost.

As he struggles with his gender identity, Ulysses finds a comfort zone in “Saturday Church,” a program of dance, music and performance engineered by the transgender community for marginalized LGBT youth, much like the famous underground ball scenes where vogueing was born documented in Paris is Burning—but for juniors.

Will Ulysses be true to himself, or lose those he cares about by living

authentically in world where racial and sexual diversity are discriminated against in this dramatic, coming of age, queer musical?

Early previews predict that an unwavering, honestly told story combined with low-key elegance.

Opens January 12

Freak Show Starring: Alex Lawther, Bette Midler, Abigail Breslin, Laverne Cox The original Party Monster, James St. James, penned the novel upon which this movie is based about high school bullying and flying your freak flag with pride.

Billy Bloom (Lawther, The Black Mirror, pictured center and below) is the bizarre and eccentric teenager who’s mother (Midler, do we really need to tell you who she is?) packs him up from his fabulous Connecticut life to live with his father in—where else?—the South. He locks horns in his ultra-conservative school with ultimate Mean Girl, Lynnette (Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine), in a Battle of the Wills. Billy fights back, pulling hair, slapping, scratching and reading all the way to the finale, when Billy runs for Homecoming Queen. Who’ll win?

Opens January 12 January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 55

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Aural Fixation

by Peter Lora PeterWasTheWolf@Gmail.com

Charli XCX Pop 2

“F*ck playing the game,” Charli XCX wrote in a note to a fan following the release of her second mixtape of the year Pop 2. Preceding 2018 Charli XCX seemed to be following the path of any aspiring pop princess: making all the right moves but never reaching the top. She released her first mixtape Number 1 Angel at the beginning of 2017 and then—arguably—the song and video of the year, “Boys.” The pop earworm was only made better with the image of a bathrobe clad Joe Jonas sensually eating pancakes.

Pop 2 pushes the envelope with its experimentation. Each song is a metamorphic piece of dance-pop that traverses samples, skittering beats and a ton of auto-tune. All but two tracks feature other artists. The album opens with “Backseat,” its best track featuring cult pop icon Carly Rae Jepsen. Enlisting Brooke Candy and Cupcakke makes “I Got It” car bumping fire and Korean-American singer Jay Park makes the breakdown on “Unlock It.” Where other pop princesses of the same age are worried about reputation, Charli XCX is making it happen with innovation. Available Now

N.E.R.D.

No_One Ever Really Dies One of the best decisions that the trio of Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo, and Shae

Haley made for their new album was calling in the favors of the artists they’d aided in the past. Their first album of original songs in over seven years, No_One Ever Really Dies enlists Future, Gucci Mane, Wale, Kendrick Lamar (twice!), Andrew 3000, M.I.A. and even Ed Sheeran.

Although with a veritable who’s who of hip-hop and pop featured throughout the album, listeners quickly realizes this seven years in the making follow up wasn’t worth the wait. Rihanna saves lead single “Lemon” with her signature, nonchalant cool.

N.E.R.D. has always been the repository for Pharrell’s worst ideas. “1000” is a bad new wave revival, “ESP” sounds like the demo for Bey’s “Blow” while “Rollinem 7’s” is complete nonsense. Failed attempts at activism riddle the album.

“Don’t Do It” seems an apropos title for a song on this album.

Available Now

Sufjan Stevens

THE DL SONGS TO DOWNLOAD ARTIST - SONG Sufjan Stevens – “Mystery of Love” Ravyn Lenae – “Sticky” BØRNS – “I Don’t Want U Back” SZA – “The Weekend” (Funkwav remix) Joan – “Tokyo” Björk – “Arisen My Senses” HAIM – “Walking Away” (Mura Masa Remix) Le Youth – “I Could Always” feat. MNDR Shannon and the Clams – “The Boy” Tim Maiden – “The Otherside” January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 57

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Creepy New Year!

IT Starring: Jaeden Lieberher, Jack Dylan Grazer, Bill Skarsgard Every 27 years a clown named “Pennywise” (Skarsgard) emerges from the sewers of Derry, Maine and children begin to disappear.

(Apparently that’s a bad thing.) Soon, a group of misfit youngsters face off with this evil clown who’s been killing kids one red balloon at a time. Based on a 1986 Stephen King classic, this smash is not for the squeamish.

Trivia: Tim Curry took on the role of Pennywise in a laughably bad 1990 TV miniseries flop. This movie was initially released in Slovakia. ★★★★☆ Available on Amazon Video and iTunes now. Blue-ray release date: January 9

Friend Request Mark Zuckerberg’s worst nightmare.

Popular co-ed Laura has over 800 friends on Facebook.

(Apparently 800 counts as “popular” in her college.) She

accepts a “Friend Request” from spooky Marina, who then takes her own life.

Soon after, Laura’s friends start dying.

Is Laura next? A cautionary tale about social media. ★★☆☆☆ Available on Amazon Video and iTunes now. Blue-ray release date: January 9

Tyler Perry’s Boo 2! A Madea Halloween Starring: Tyler Perry (who else?)

Why on earth Tyler Perry insists on branding crap like this in his attempt to trademark everything in Hollywood as “Tyler Perry’s” is beyond me. Especially when it’s this bad.

I may not be the target audience for Tyler Perry’s pictures, but the “funny” of the big, mouthy Tyler Perry’s “Madea” franchise wore off a long time ago.

The Tyler Perry plot—in case you’re still reading or even interested—involves Tyler Perry’s Madea and crew who go toe-to-toe with a gang of Tyler Perry frat boys and Tyler Perry high school girls (who all look pretty long in the tooth to be students) at a Tyler Perry Halloween party in a Tyler Perry campground in the Tyler Perry woods. Of course, there’s a Tyler Perry moral at the end of the Tyler Perry story.

One Tyler Perry “star.” ★☆☆☆☆ Release Date: January 30 January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 59

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Mexcellent!

Presidio Cocina Mexicana How many times have you had out of towners ask you for “real, authentic Mexican food” in Phoenix?

And not just a Taco Bell “Enchirito” something topped with gobs of Velveeta with a jar of Pace Picante Sauce dumped on it? True, we do have lots of great, and authentic, Mexican restaurants, and a few truly do stand out. Still, every once in a while there’s one rare gem that takes you by surprise. Presidio Cocina Mexicana is one of those places. We almost hate telling you about it. But we can’t keep Presidio all to ourselves; we love to share.

Presidio Cocina Mexicana is a surprise, tucked away in the end of an an unlikely, tiny strip mall across from St. Joseph’s Hospital, next to a sterile patient supply store selling wheelchairs, walkers, and scooters. Presidio’s very modest, unassuming dining room is cozy, and simply decorated.

from scratch, dishes based on old family recipes from the Nava family, presented here by the mother, Lucina. Her (handsome with beautiful grey eyes) son, Sergio and his fiancée, Karen, urged her to offer these dishes to everyone. They swear everything is made in-house. Fresh tortillas, homemade cheeses and fire roasted chilies all complement the slow-cooked meals featuring indigenous herbs and spices.

With a menu for breakfast, lunch and dinner, there’s plenty to come back for. Breakfast includes staples like Chilaquiles ($8.95), Huevos Rancheros ($12.95), and more, plus their own take on

The restaurant’s Michoacáninspired Mexican homestyle cooking is from the Sierra countryside, rather than the Sonoran kitchens we’re more accustomed to. Made January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 61

an omelet we’re dying to try. We hear dinner has a tempting mole, too, one of the most elusive dishes to prepare successfully.

We dropped in for a late lunch, so we made it in time for Happy Hour, from 3- 6 p.m. you’ll get $1 off tacos, $2 off starters. About those tacos ... the combination of three tacos à la carte are served with the option of rice or beans. Upgrade to Street Corn for $2.50. You need to try these with Presidio’s corn tortillas, packed with the earthy goodness of a variety of stoneground corn meals. It’s tough to choose just three from the nine tacos

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offered. We opted for Grilled Shrimp with pico de gallo, chipotle mayonnaise, cheese and cabbage $4.95, Carne Asada with juicy, grilled marinated skirt steak, guacamole, tomatillo salsa, onions and cilantro, $4.95, and the Cochinita Pibil with tender braised pork, pickled red onion and chile de arbol salsa, $3.95 (this was the table’s favorite.)

As another starter, we picked the Street Corn, also known as “elote.” Here, it’s served pared off the cob (I suspect due to the seasonal availability) fire-grilled corn with chipotle mayo, cotija cheese and chili powder for $4.95. Order a few.

The sweetness of the corn combined with the smoky bite and spice of the topping will have everyone fighting for their own.

Dive into the Queso Fundido, baked Oaxacan cheese topped with

housemade made, spicy chorizo. What’s not to love? $10.95 Presidio offers 10 lunch entrées. Don’t even try to resist the Chile Relleno, poblano pepper stuffed with queso fresco, with ranchera (red) sauce and topped with sour cream. The right amount of airy, eggy breading cloaking the chile makes this a standout. Served with (what we gringos call “Spanish”) rice, refried beans and a flour tortilla. $11.95.

Enchiladas and Tamale (pict. left), two enchiladas and your choice of a handmade red pork or green chicken tamale. The heavenly fluffiness of the masa housing the delectable meat filling (we chose chicken) inside puts these in a class all their own.

This time of year calls for a steaming bowl of Pozole, (pictured top), a red

chile broth with tender chunks of pork, hominy swimming around, garnished with cabbage, onion and radish.

Just enough fire to warm you all over without killing the subtlety of the ingredients. Served with chips for $10.95 Wet you whistle with one of their handcrafted cocktails, like the Presidio Margarita. The house tequila’s they use are Casa Noble Reposado, Añejo, and Crystal. Staples like Michélada, sangria, mimosas, beer, wine, and aguas frescas.

Presidio Cocina Mexicana doesn’t carry the low-cost price tag a lot of local places do, but here you’re getting something extra special. Not a sloppy “Enchirito” from Taco Bell. Catering available, and delivery via PostMates.

519 W. Thomas Rd. Tue-Sun, closed Mon. Phone: 602-279-8420 PresidioPhx.com

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I

“ n its 11 years, the Sin City Classic (Formerly the Sin City Shootout) has grown to be one of the largest annual LGBTQ sports festivals in the world and includes teams from across the United States and around the world.

Held Martin Luther King Jr. Day Weekend January 11-14, 2018 in Las Vegas, Nevada, it’s one long weekend of sporty fun all around town. This year, the host hotels have changed to the LINQ and Flamingo hotels, where they have the opening and closing parties, uniting players from all the different teams and events.

LGBTQ athletes, fans and allies descend upon Sin City for a weekend full of competition, companionship and, most of all, fun. The 18 sports that will be participating in this year’s festival include: Billiards, Body Building, Bowling, Bridge, Cheer, Diving, Dodgeball, Flag Football, Frisbee, Golf, Ice Hockey, Kickball, Running, Soccer, Softball, Tennis, Volleyball and Wrestling. In addition to the sports competition, attendees are treated to a weekend full of hosted events, including an Opening Night registration extravaganza, nightly events at local bars and a Closing Ceremony celebration event. Past closing parties have seen performances from out celebrities like Tyler Glenn from Neon Trees and Arizona’s own David Hernandez, as well as 80’s pop favorites like Tiffany.

Arizona is represented in a big waywith many teams competing in at least four different sporting events - Kickball, Softball, Flag Football, & Dodgeball.

(Pictured from top to bottom, Kickball teams The Phoenix Pig Pen & Phoenix Wolf Pack, Softball teams Charlie’s Toros & Ice, and dodgeball team The Monstars. ) January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 67

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Luc Van Vuuren, captain of the kickball team Phoenix Pig Pen, has participated in the event for the past three years. “My favorite part of the event is actually the same thing that keeps us coming back, it’s the friendships that are made with people from all over whether that’s on or off the field.”

North American Gay Amateur Athletic Allliance representative for Cactus Cities Softball League Conard Franz added, “The tournament is well run and the events are on point! It’s different because it incorporates so many diverse sports into one awesome weekend.”

“The Sin City Classic provides a fun and safe playing field for the participating LGBTQ athletes to both connect and compete over the course of our four-day event. We encourage all athletes to “Play You” by being themselves, embracing competition and having a good time both on and off the field.” says Ken Scearce, Sin City Classic Tournament Director.

Luc Van Vuuren

Conard Franz

For more information about the Sin City Classic visit www.sincityclassic.org.

Ken Scearce

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C

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It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. But winning is definitely pretty sweet! Spring Sports Leagues are firing up and ready for you to join in. Everyone one is welcome! All you need is a great attitude to compete. (A good pair of shoes and maybe a baseball glove or stuff like that doesn’t hurt, either.)

We put the spotlight on softball, volleyball and kickball, plus included listings of other sports leagues and athletic activities. Find the one that’s right for you and we’ll see you there!

SPRING 2018 ION SPORTS DATES SPORT EVENT Daily Mons+Weds Tuesdays Tues & Thurs Thursdays Thursdays Thursdays Saturdays Saturdays Fri & Sun Sun 1/7 Sun 1/7 + 1/21 Sat 1/20 Sun1/28 Sun 1/28 Wed 1/31 Sat 2/3 Sat 2/3 Sun 2/11 Mon 2/5 & 2/12 Tues 2/13 2/17-2/19 Sat. 3/17 Sat 3/24 4/14-15

Bowling Court Volleyball Walk/Run Rugby Walk/Run Dodgeball Sand Volleyball Walk/Run Court Volleyball Tennis Kickball Softball Flag Football Kickball Softball Dodgeball Walk/Run Softball Softball Sand Volleyball Sand Volleyball Tennis Walk/Run Walk/Run Softball

CONTACT

Phoenix Unified Gay Bowling pugba.org Desert Volleyball Alliance fb.com/desertvolleyball Frontrunners - Dreamy Draw phxfr.org Phoenix Storm Practice phoenixstorm.org Frontrunners - Tempe Town Lake phxfr.org Open Gym fb.com/skylinedodgeball 2Man AZ Volleyball fb.com/2manazvb Frontrunners - Phx Zoo (pictured) phxfr.org Desert Volleyball Alliance Open Play fb.com/desertvolleyball Cactus Tennis Alliance Drop-In Tennis fb.com/cactustennis Glitter Bowl Fall Season Tournament phxfirekickball.com Free Agent Clinic /Cesar Chavez Park cactuscities.com PGFFL Spring Season Starts phoenixflagfootball.com Spring Season Starts phxfirekickball.com Spring Registration Deadline cactuscities.com Skyline Dodgeball League Play fb.com/skylinedodgeball Rio Salado Trail Run phxfr.org Season Opening Party at Charlie’s cactuscities.com Cactus Cities Week One Play cactuscities.com AZGV Open Play at Steele Park azgv.org AZGV Registration Deadline azgv.org Cactus Open fb.com/cactustennis Gold Nugget Trail Run phxfr.org Pride Run Phoenix phxfr.org Saguaro Cup saguarocup.com January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 73

Phoenix Gay Flag Football Announces Scholarship P

hoenix Gay Flag Football League (PGFFL) is the premiere flag football league for the LGBTQ community of Arizona. Founded in 2005, they’re a recreational football club playing on Friday nights in the Fall and Saturday mornings in the Spring. All skill levels are encouraged to participate, and they are committed to providing a comfortable and enjoyable setting for those who want to play football and foster community. Since the league’s inception, they’ve grown from a hand full of players in their first year to nearly a 100 annual participants today.

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The PGFFL Board is excited to announce that starting January 1, 2018, the league will be introducing an LGBTQ college scholarship, for a high school student athlete in Maricopa County. They’re working closely with Phoenix Pride, who’ll administer and regulate the scholarship. The league has funded two years of scholarships previously. Each scholarship awarded was a $1,000 per year.

The board used the money given to them by Arizona Gay Rodeo Association (AGRA) for their volunteer work this year to help lay the foundation of this scholarship. The PGFFL will be raising future funds by selling their jerseys, their special edition Pride jersey, and travel shirts. One of their proud sponsors of the league, HP2 Promotions, is working with them to have the shirts made.

100% of the proceeds will go towards the scholarship fund and can be purchased on our new website PGFFL. com. Future items and ideas are in the works for raising funds to help the future of the scholarship.

Members of the PGFFL Board are excited about being able to offer a stepping stone to the Maricopa County athletic youth. “We want the youth to believe, ‘Be proud of who you are and be proud to be an athlete.’ We understand there can be challenges in high school, but we want them to know that there is an athletic community here supporting them. We are hoping this opens the door for other Phoenix LGBTQ athletic communities to come together and give back to future athletes,” said board member Joseph Husmann.

PGFFL Spring Season begins January 20th and runs through April. Visit phoenixflagfootball.com January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 75

AZ GAY VOLLEYBALL SPOTLIGHT ON DAT ACE DOE

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J

ose Madrigal, Sean Mauzy, Will Bals, and John Amrhein are no strangers to AZGV leagues and decided to put their team “Dat Ace Doe” together, adding Chris Callan.

“We all became friends over time through various series of events, groups, et cetera.

Jose and John know each other from college, John and Chris know each other from high school, Jose, Matt, and Sean are friends from kickball, Will just gets around,” explained Matt Murray.

“We’ve gelled well together as a team and our record shows. We started with the intent to stay active and have fun, but we all have a competitive nature. We ended our first season as a team undefeated both in (6-Man B Division) season and in tournament. We’re excited for next season and the challenge of moving up in division from B to A to see how we’ll do.”

AZGV starts open play this February at Steele Indian School Park. Visit AZGV.org

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Phoenix FIRE KICKBALL ENTERS FIFTH SEASON P

hoenix Fire Kickball is gearing up for the fall season glitterbowl championship on January 7th at encanto Park!

The 2018 Spring Season is now open! Visit phxfirekickball. com to register with a team or as a free agent! Get out and play some kickball with a side of glitter and beer!

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CACTUS CITIES SOFTBALL SPOTLIGHT ON THE TOROS 80

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T

he 2018 season marks the 14th year for the Charlie’s/Coors Light/Monsta Toros in the CCSL A division. Although most of the core group has been playing together for several years, they have added a few new key players for the 2018 season in their goal to winning the 2018 Gay Softball World Series in Tampa, Florida this Sept.

The Toros also plan on playing in Vegas for the annual Sin City Classic, The Saguaro Cup, the NAGAAA Cup in Minnesota, and several other local and statewide tournaments throughout this summer.

The Cactus Cities Softball League is an adult slowpitch softball league in Phoenix, Arizona predominately for gays, lesbians and anyone dedicated to promotion of the amateur athletic experience for persons of all skill levels and abilities regardless of sexual orientation, gender, race, or religion.

Cactus Cities Softball plays Sundays at Cesar Chavez Park.

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Flex Spas Ignight Free HIV Testing (W)

OZ Bar Bingo (W)

The Rock Miss Rock Pageant

Stacy’s @ Melrose Karaoke (W)

Club Volt Flesh (W)

The Rock Bearracuda

Club Volt Brii St. James & Dustin Riot

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Bliss/ Rebar Taco Tuesday Trivia (W)

Plazma Sinful Studs (W)

Club Volt 90’s Dance Party

OZ Bar Karaoke (W) The Cash Team Trivia (W)

Dick’s Cabaret WTF Wednesday (W) Plazma Sinful Studs (W)

FEBRUARY 1

Club Volt Face Savannah (W)

The Rock Undie Night with Chris (W)

31

Great Skate Glendale Gay Skate AZ

25

Charlies Pipin Hot Thursdays (w)

18

Cruisin 7th Grande’ Rains (W)

Karamba Ruby’s Snapchat Party

Charlies Candy Land

Pat O’s Bunk House Phx Leather Gear Party

11

4

THURSDAY

Karamba Back to the 80’s Show

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The Cash Karaoke w/ DJ Illuminati (W)

Film Bar Big Gay Classic But I’m a Cheerleader

17

Club Volt T Party (W)

Film Bar Phantom of the Opera Sing Along

10

Mi Patio Mexican Restaurant Ignight Dinner Social

3

WEDNESDAY

I N PARTY CAM EVENTS • (W) WEEKLY EVENT

Bliss/ Rebar Happy Hour All Day (W)

29

FEZ $5 Big Margaritas (W)

2601 On Central Liquid Brunch (W)

Club Volt Miss Club Volt Benefit

23

The Rock Bearracuda

OZ Bar Trivia Night (W)

Flex Spas Poolside BBQ (W)

Stacy’s @ Melrose Karaoke (W)

Club Volt Mr Club Volt Benefit

Los Diablos Trivia & Tacos (W)

The Rock Ignight Night Chats

22

Dick’s Cabaret Amature Night (W)

OZ BAR Poker (W)

The Cash Free Dance Lessons (W)

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9

2

TUESDAY

Plazma Sunday Funday (W)

15

Charlie’s The Strip Factor (W)

2601 On Central Liquid Brunch (W)

8

The Rock Ignight Night Chats

Karamba New Year’s Day Karaoke

Karamba Adriana’s Broadway Show

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21

14

7

SUNDAY

1

MONDAY

2

The Anvil Pup Night

Gila River Arena Katy Perry

The Cash Dance Party (W)

Plazma Freaky Friday (W)

OZ Bar Karaoke (W)

Club Volt 4some Revue (W)

Charlie’s Circus

Talking Stick Resort Arena Shakira Plazma Sinful Studs (W) Roosevelt Row First Friday

3

OZ Poker (W) The Rock Barbra Seville Show (W)

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Dick’s Cabaret 2018 Stripper Pole Olympics

Karamba The Gogo Boys Palooza

20

Club Volt Volt Vixxxens (W)

House Of Comedy Fortune Feimster

The Anvil Mr. Phx Leather Contest

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6

SATURDAY

Marquee Theater Passion Pit

The Rock Trailer Trash Review

Pat O’s Bunk House Mystery of Deja Vu

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12

5

FRIDAY

hydrat

DRINK & EVENT GUIDE

PHOENIX FRIDAY SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Anvil

DIRTY DADDY DANCERS 10pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

WILD MEN of the WEST 7:30pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

BEER BUST $3 Pitchers All Day HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

Bar 1

HH 10am-7pm

$2.25 Domestic Bottles 7pm-9pm

$1.50 Bud Light Drafts $2 Canned Beer

HH $4 Well & Beer $2 OFF Apps/GlassWine/Prem.Spirits

Brunch Specials 10a-3p $12 Bubbly $5 Bloodys/Sangria

$12 Bubbly, $5 Bloodys 10a-3p 1/2 OFF Cock. 2-7pm KARAOKE 9p

Elements Show 10:30pm $5 ABSOLUT All Night

2-4-1 All Day/All Night Go-Go Boys, Extended Patios VIP

Sunday Funday KARAOKE 10p $2 Miller - $3 Marys & Mimosas

2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm $2.50 Miller Products

2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm $2.50 Bud Products

Happy Hour All Day JAZZ w/ Kenny Thames 7pm

The Cash

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm $1 Drafts 8-10pm $5 Long Isl 10-cl

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm DJ Delicious 9pm

HH $3 Well & Dom ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm

Charlie’s

$3 Pitch/2-4-1 Well-Dom 2-7pm $1 Draft 10pm-Mid

2-4-1 Well/Dom Noon-7pm $3 Absolut/Barcardi Flavors 10-Mid

Super Happy Hour 4-7pm $3 Pitch / $3 Lng Island Open-Cl

Club Volt

4SOME REVUE 10pm $4 4Some Cock.

VOLT VIXXXENS 10pm HH 4-8pm 2-4-1 Dom. & Well

WMW’s FLESH 10pm HH 2-4-1 12-8pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Olivia & Nikki 10:30pm

Dirty Daddy Dancers 4:30pm Lady Christian 10:30pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm TS Dancers 10pm

2-4-1 VIP Dances 7-9pm

Off the Hook Tons of Prizes & Giveaways

2-4-1 Cover, Wristbands & VIP Dances

HH 3:30-6:30pm & 11pm-Close $2 OFF Apps / Well / Wine / Beer

$4 & $5 Big Brunch Drinks 10a-3p HH 3:30-6:30p & 11p-close

$4 & $5 Big Brunch Drinks 10a-3p HH 3:30-6:30p & 11p-close

Vaquero Fridays 9-11pm Reverse Happy Hour $3 Drinks

Top 40 Saturdays 9-11pm Reverse Happy Hour $3 Drinks

Top 40 Sundays Diamond Show $3 Pitchers Beer Bust

Finally Friday HH 3pm-7pm Reverse HH 10p-Close

HH 12pm-Close $5 Dom Pitchers $7 LIT&AMF Pitchers

Oz Bar

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY Darts 2pm KARAOKE 8pm-Cl

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY Bingo 1p

Plazma

$3 Well & Dom Until 8pm $4 3 Olives & $3 Fireball Shots

HH $3 Well/Dom Btl/Drft 12/8pm All Male Revue 10pm

Beer Bust until 7p $3.50 Dom Pitch KARAOKE 8pm-Cl 2-4-1 $3 Shots

HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm KARAOKE 9pm

2-4-1 11a-7p KARAOKE 9p Barbra Seville Show10p

HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom. 11am-cl

HH 4-8pm Live DJ $2 Rolling Rock

HH 4-8pm Live DJ $2 Rolling Rock

Sunday Funday $3 Mimosas DJ $1.50 Rolling Rock & Well

Bliss/ReBar

BS West Bunkhouse

Cruisin’ 7th

Dick’s Cabaret FEZ

Karamba Los Diablos

The Rock Stacy’s

Br

W

Brunch 10am-2pm KARAOKE 2pm-6pm $4.50 Mimosas, $7 LI / AMF / Marg Pitchers

Br

TUCSON FRIDAY SATURDAY Hotel Congress

IBTS

Live Music on the Patio Tom Walbank 7p DJ Dirtyverbs 10p

Free Dance Party 10pm DJs Sid the Kid, BOBFelix & More!

Flawless Fridays with China Collins

Saturday Night Starrletts with Janee Starr

Br

Br

SUNDAY Br

Hot Club of Tucson 10:30pm Club KARAOKE 10pm 2-4-1 9p-Close KARAOKE

MONDAY

TUESDAY

Beards, boxers & Briefs $1 OFF HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

$2 Miller High Life & well vodka cocktails 8pm-close

WEDNESDAY 2-4-1 WELL 8pm-close HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm

KARAOKE 9pm $2.75 well, dom bottle & drft

THURSDAY KARAOKE 9pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm 2-4-1 U-Call-It 10am-2am (except shots & pitchers) $4 Bellinis

HH ALL DAY $4 Well & Beer $2 OFF Apps/GlassWine/Prem.Spirits

$3 OFF Toco Platters $5 Margaritas TRIVIA 6:30p $4 Drafts

20% OFF ENTIRE BILL (excludes discounted items)

$20 Any wine bottle $15 Any wine bottle w/ food purchase

1/2 Price Drinks

Next Big Star 9:30pm $3 Coors Light / $5 3 Olives Vodka

2-4-1 All Day / All Night Go-Go Boys - A Valley Tradition VIP

WMW X-Posed 10pm with Aimee $3 Miller Lite / $6 Titos

HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm

HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm

HH 8am-2pm | $4.50 Fireball( All Day) KARAOKE 9pm $3.75 L.I.

HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm Underwear Night WMW $1 Off

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm Dance Lessons 7:30pm

HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm KARAOKE 2-4-1 Well 8pm

HH $3 Well & Dom ALL DAY 2-4-1 Well & Dom 10pm-close

Underwear Party 8pm-Cl Half off with your Pants Off $3 J.D.

2-4-1 Open to Close KARAOKE 9:30pm

$3 Pitcher / $3 Absolut 8pm-Close

2-4-1 All Cocktails & Beer Open-Close

CLOSED MONDAYS

CLOSED TUESDAYS

T-Party Trans Go-Go Dancers HH 4-8pm 2-4-1 Dom. & Well

HH 4-8pm 2-4-1 Dom. & Well

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm TS Dancers 10pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Wild Men of the West 10:30pm

HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Grande Rains Show 9pm

2-4-1 Cover, Wristbands & VIP Dances

Amateur Night Starts at 10pm

WTF Wednedays $5 Cover and almost everything else!

$5 Cover!

With coupon on our website

$5 BIG Margaritas ALL DAY HH 3:30-6:30p & 11p-close

$5 Classic Martinis ALL DAY HH 3:30-6:30p & 11p-close

$2 OFF Glasses of wine 50% OFF Bottles of wine

$5 BIG Signature Cocktails G Spot / O Spot / B Spot/ A Spot

KARAOKE 9pm $3 Drinks / $3 Pitchers

Cumbia Night Savannah Show $3 Drinks / $3 Pitchers

Salsa Nights $3 Pitchers Karamba Girls Show

Urban Thursdays Ruby Show $3 Pitcher $3 Drinks

HH 3pm -Close $3 Well & Domestics 7pm-Close

Taco & Tequila Tuesdays $5 Patron & Margs $4 Dos Equis

HH 3pm-7pm KARAOKE 7pm-Cl All Drinks Buy 1 get 1 for $1 7-Cl

HH 3pm-7pm $3 Well & Domestics 7pm-Close

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY Trivia Night 9pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY Poker 7pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY Poker 7pm

$3 Well & Dom $6 Call ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm

HH 2-4-1 4-8pm $2 Well & $3 Domestic

HH 2-4-1 4-8pm $2 Well & $3 Domestic 9pm-Close

2-4-1 4-8pm Sinful Studs 9pm-Mid

HH 2-4-1 ALL DAY Beautiful Losers Comedy SHow

HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm KARAOKE 9pm

HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm

HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm Underwear Night

HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm

KARAOKE 9pm-Close HH All Day

HH All Day SONGO 6-9pm $5 Martinis All Day

2-4-1 All Day Live DJ

HH 4-8pm Live DJ $1.50 Rolling Rock 4-mid / Well 8-mid

MONDAY

TUESDAY

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90s House Party 10pm w/ DJ Sid the Kid 90¢ PBR Br

3-4-1 Well Drinks 8p-Close KARAOKE

Taco & Tequi

Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night 8pm

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Tequila & Mexican Beer ALL DAY

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WEDNESDAY

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THURSDAY

Live Music

Salvador Duran 7pm OPTI CLUB Dance Party 10pm

Viva La Diva Show with Diva

2-4-1 All Day Go Go Boys 11pm

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PHOENIX Address

1. 2601 on Central

Phone

2601 N. Central Ave.

Coming Soon!

2. Anvil

2424 E. Thomas Rd.

(602) 334-1462

3. Aqua

1730 E McDowell Rd.

(602) 253-0689

4. Bar 1

3702 N. 16th St.

(602) 266-9001

5. Bliss/ReBar

901 N. 4th St.

(602) 795-1792

6. Boycott Bar

4301 N 7th Ave.

(602) 515-3667

7. BS West

7125 E. 5th Ave., Scottsdale

(480) 945-9028

8. Bunkhouse

4428 N 7th Ave.

(602) 200-9154

9. The Cash

2140 E McDowell Rd.

(602) 244-9943

10. Charlie’s

727 W. Camelback Rd.

(602) 265-0224

11. Club Volt

3108 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 244-1465

12. Cruisn’ 7th

3702 N. 7th St.

(602) 212-9888

13. Dick’s Cabaret

3432 E. Illini Rd.

(602) 274-DICK

14. FEZ

105 W. Portland St

(602) 287-8700

15. Flex Spas Phoenix

1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy.

(602) 271-9011

16. Karamba

1724 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 254-0231

17. Kobalt

3110 N Central Ave. Park Central (602) 264-5307

18. Los Diablos

1028 E Indian School Rd.

(602) 795-7881

19. NuTowne Saloon

5002 E Van Buren St.

(602) 267-9959

20. OZ Bar

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd.

(602) 242-5114

x

21. Plazma

1560 E Osborn Rd.

22. The Rock

4129 N. 7th Ave.

(602) 266-0477 (602) 248-8559

x

23. Stacy’s @ Melrose

4343 N 7th Ave.

TUCSON Address

25. Hotel Congress 26. IBTs

Phone

311 E Congress St., Tucson x

616 N 4th Ave, Tucson

(602) 264-1700

x

(520) 622-8848 (520) 882-3053

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e’ve become too comfortable with a world littered in surveillance cameras, screen grabs, reality show night cams and every other digital device that serves as a modern-day-peeping-tom. Howevah ... it’s never pleasant when the people we love put us on blast more than the evening edition of eyewitness news.

This new installment of Favorite Bitch® is all about … “I Got My Eye On You, Suckah!”

taking selfies and screwing on your bed than keeping your kids from sippin’ on toxic cleaning supplies.)

And didn’t these messy folks raise your ass? You should be prepared for abuelita givin’ grand papi a TKO after stumbling in smellin’ like Corona and a cum rag.

P.S. Unless she tosses one of your brats like a winning touchdown football at the Super Bowl ... there’s nothing to worry about.

NEXT!

Dear Miss Tiger, My six-year-old son walked in on me and the neighbor having sex. Not sure if he understood what he saw, but I’m afraid he’ll say something to my husband about the neighbor being in our bed. What should I do?

-Katie

Dear Miss Tiger, I’ve bottomed for 25 years. A bad case of anal warts forced me to be a TOP. (Against my will, of course.) The other morning I woke up to my fuckbuddy inspecting my anus. He’s demanding to know whether I have hemorrhoids or anal warts since I’ve stopped bottoming. Help!

-Tony

Dear Junior’s Never Too Young For Boarding School, Hunty ...

Ain’t there a Holiday Inn near y’alls house?

Next time try installing a lock on your bedroom door before letting the neighbor wiggle his key in your dead bolt!

Dear Hazardous Road Ahead, Your ass has had more pounding than I-10 and I-17 combined, therefore, potholes are to be expected. Forget about consulting me ... start consulting the queens down at the LGBTQ Center to see when and where you can get these crustaceans removed!

Dear Miss Tiger, My mom watches my kids while I work. They came home telling me that grandma punched grandpa in the face.

I’m afraid she’s a bad influence. Should I keep her as a babysitter?

-Maria del Carmen Dear You Get What You Pay For ….

And You Ain’t Paying Shit, My advice is to shut the hell up!

Or hire the neighborhood teenage babysitter (who’ll be more interested in

Need advice? Write, Tweet or Instagram me and get the answers you’re looking for!

Miss Tiger

Advice Columnist • Radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Twitter/Instagram MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com January 2018 WWW.IONAZ.COM 93

by Addison DeWitt

F

The Festival of the Trees at the Children’s Museum of Phoenix brought designer decorated Christmas trees in from near and “fir” for a action-packed auction and a little one-upmanship for the “Mine’s More Fabulous than Yours” tree. Robert Mich and Tom Zimbalatti (C) bested the others with the top tree fetching $1,700.

A

orget the “Elf on the Shelf!” It looks like everyone’s favorite is the “Jumping Elf at the Stadium.” Emm Jay celebrated Christmas Eve with the Cardinals who beat some football team, 23 to zip. (A) I love a jumping elf!

“Klaatu!

Barada nikto!” At a deadly pace it came from outer space ... well, not really.

The spermy-looking rocket launch from Vandenberg Air Force Base on December 22 had everyone expecting the War of the Worlds. Local earthlings C Trevor Grant and his husband Tylor Caruso (B) were ready for an interplanetary orbit to Uranus just for the butthole jokes.

That and lots of alien probing.

The boys are still here. Along with their buttholes. I guarantee, those spacemen don’t know what they missed out on.

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Nick Ray and Daniel Eckstrom (D) attended the pine-y party.

We hear that Daniel just might be ringing in 2018 with his first tattoo when he celebrates his birthday on New Year’s Eve. I ran into the delicious PeaBoPots.com entrepreneur Matt Pfeilstucker and his handsome

D

husband Jacob Emil with their pal, photographer Leland Gebhardt (E) at Phoenix Phoestivus downtown.

E

F

Celia Putty (F) pulled all the zany stops out for her Holiday show at Kobalt. Fans Cozette Phifer and Tuesday Pugsly Mahrle (G) cheered on the gobsmacked Rich Zavala (a.k.a.

“Afeelya Bunz”) who got engaged to be married just moments earlier to his now fiancé, Scott, (H) next to the popcorn machine. Congratulations! (I’m so jealous!)

G

H

Happy New Year, everyone! (Except for one of you out there.)

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018 is all about shoring up foundations.

Saturn and Uranus shift so you better be grounded. Five eclipses in 2018 open the door to increasing sensitivity. Develop your nurturing talent, memories, moods, and emotions. Manifest what you want to build and make your dreams come true. January has two full moons, including the first of two Total Lunar Eclipses for 2018 happening on January 31. The Sun, Earth and Moon align forming a “syzygy.” Can you say that?

These lunations are tied to the creation of changing circumstances. We’re naturally progressive, and change is necessary for growth. 2018 is prime time to reset your emotions. Can you handle it?

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20 Your self-confidence grows by leaps and bounds in 2018. Look for profound, meaningful experiences by summer. Your enemies are jealous. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Taurus April. 21 - May 20 It’s a good time to build up security for the future. You’re feeling ambitious, so start with cleaning your house or even a closet. Then maybe tackle your Facebook friends list.

Gemini May 21 - June 21 This year you’re bubbling over with energy.

Look for dramatic changes to happen around March (and we know how you love drama.) You pick up a fun, new hobby or pastime. It’ll be juicy.

Cancer June 22 - July 22 2018 sees you experiencing “issues” with some people, and that’s okay, because you form a dedicated army of followers who believe pretty much everything you say.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22 The stars hope you’re passionate about your work, because pressure is building.

If you love it, great! Your emotions are heightened, so reign them in a bit. 2018 is all about second chances for you & everyone.

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Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22 Things are a little complicated. Why? Because of feelings. You’re having a lot of them. Don’t avoid them; they motivate you.

Follow your intuition and you won’t make any dumb blunders.

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22 Affairs of the heart are front and center.

Connect with loved ones, embrace a new love, and give an old love (who’s really an asshole) the boot. You do some of your best work this year.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23 This is a good time to reevaluate goals.

You shine in your career and opportunities abound. You’re recognized for hard work.

Ka-CHING! You’ll be bringing in that coin this year, girl!

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 Usually the New Year is all about action and doing stuff. Don’t. Relax. Calm yourself.

You’re not being passive; things are developing all around you. It’s a good year to “bottom.”

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20 You’re usually taciturn and stoic. That makes 2018 a great time to splurge.

Birthday Caps will see their personal power amplified. What will be important event in your life happens. Big time.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 This is tough: keep your opinions to yourself. For a while. Reveal them when the time is right. You’ll be vindicated! Birthday boys and girls demand attention. 2018 is the year you get freaky. Well, freakier than usual.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20 You have all this pent up energy. Don’t limit your creativity, because for the first time in a long time it’s all about “you” in 2018. (It’s often all about “you,” but this year, it’s really all about “YOU.”) “Do me,” is your motto.