ION Arizona #251

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Stop by the ION booth to enter to win Madonna, P!NK, Reba and Sam Smith tickets!

DINING OUT ► PHX / SCOTTS ► MI PATIO 6 IONARIZONA FEB 2023
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All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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I Want to be a Cowboy Saddle up for a Month of Fun!

Howdy cowboys and cowgirls! It’s time to get on you high horse and gallop over to the 2023 AGRA Rodeo at Corona Ranch this February 17-19. If you would rather head to the ranch in stagecoach luxury, hop on the many party buses traveling to and from Charlie’s. That way you can have as many adult beverages as you want. Have a great ’ole time.

After you take off you cowboy boots, hat, Wrangler jeans and oversized belt buckle, don your best 16th century attire and head back to merry olde England at the 35th Annual Renaissance Festival. Join our community as we go back in time together at Pride Day, Sunday, February 19. Come early, come hungry and come all!

Now that we’re in the middle of winter and the holidays are over, let the good times roll. Plenty of other great events including Arizona Theatre Company’s Pride Night for The Glass Menagerie on Thursday, February 16, PRIT Bowling Tournament on Friday, February 17, Willo Home Tour & Street Fair on Sunday, February 19 and more! Check out this issue for all the details.

On a more personal note: there will be one less cowboy this year. In 1998, my then-boyfriend, Colin Milan and I moved from Michigan to the Wild West Arizona. A few years later he helped me launch ION Arizona. Soon after, we went in different directions. Unfortunately, Colin passed away December 22 at the age of only 51. Thank you for all the kind words on Facebook. Our memories together will live forever. RIP Colin W. Milan.

Get out, have fun, be safe and for God’s sake, take care of yourself and loved ones. Life is short. Enjoy the ride but ride carefully. Giddy up! Let’s go! On with the show …

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“This Bothers

Drag Legend

Coco Peru talks about what grinds her gears her in her own goddam solo musicalcomedy show coming to Phoenix.

Photography by: Peter Palladino

Bothers Me.”

E

xplained to Deon Brown

The witty (and a little bit bitchy) insights and stingingly funny Miss Coco Peru (Clinton Leupp) captured a national audience when she guest starred in the movie Trick (1999) and again in the zany cult classic, Girls Will Be Girls (2003). ION Arizona chatted with the star about truth, the tour, tea, and cum in your eye.

ION: In the movie Trick, you say, “I’m not one to gossip. It’s not my nature. Truth. Truth! Now that’s my nature.” Coco, can you be truthful for our readers?

Coco Peru: Of course I can. I’m always truthful. That’s what my shows are. People think I make stuff up and I’m like, “No, that’s all 100% what happened.” People think my husband is made up, and he’s been going on the tour with me and they’re seeing him and go, “Wait. Rafael really exists?” which is very funny to me that people think that I’ve made up my husband who I’ve been with for 20-something years.

ION: Your tour is called, “Coco Peru is Bitter, Bothered and Beyond.” When did your bitterness start, Coco, who hurt you?

Coco: I think the better question is who didn’t hurt me. There’s an element of truth to my—I don’t want to say “bitterness”—but we live in a world that has not been kind to queer people. I decided to be a drag queen who tells autobiographical stories. When I created Coco, part of my mission was to make the world better for us. As I’ve gotten older, there’s a bit of celebration in embracing one’s crankiness. I find that the more truthful I am about the things that bother me, the more people respond, they relate, and they’re happy that someone’s saying the things that they’ve always wanted to say. That’s very satisfying to me because, in the end, it feels healing—not only to the people who are expressing that to me—but also to me to feel somewhat validated in my thoughts and feelings, which I never had as a kid. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own body, not to mention in what I was feeling.

ION: People like authenticity—even when it’s cloaked in humor; they embrace it.

Coco: I agree. My husband was worried when I first started to talk about my age and growing older, he said, “Young people aren’t going to be able to relate to you if you keep talking about getting older.” I said, “I don’t agree. I think young people respond to authenticity, and they want role models and people to just be real and honest with them.

ION: What’s the best piece of advice you ever got?

Coco: I learned that you were meant to respect everybody who was working with you. I always tell young drag queens that, and to treat their audience and fans with respect. They’re responsible for you keeping a roof over your head. I’ve actually gotten very motherly or grandmotherly and said, “Listen, honey, you need to treat your fans with respect and you need to show up on time.”

ION: What’s the worst piece of advice you ever got?

Coco: Oh, let me think … Butch up!

ION: The movie Trick made audiences much more aware of you.

Coco: Trick allowed me to have that long monologue in the middle of the movie. It spotlighted not only me, but kind of what I do: monologues. It definitely put me on the map.

ION: How many times have fans asked you, “Did you ever get cum in your eye?”

Coco: Yes, they’ll come up to me with that question in order for me to say, “It burns!” Now, with phones, they want to record me saying it. I’m thrilled that even today, 20 something years later, people still talk about that moment.

ION: In the comments on one of your YouTube videos, someone posted, “I was very shocked when I learned that she was a man.”

Coco: I just find that so funny; I think that’s because my makeup is not what they’re used to in drag today when you consider Bianca Del Rio’s makeup or Trixie Mattel’s. They’re not used to seeing drag that looks natural and plain. They just didn’t realize that I was a man in a dress. I look like their aunt. I was wearing things that I bought at Ross Dress for Less or a store like Kmart. That was a choice I made when I created Coco in order to make myself stand out because I was already doing something different which was monologues, talking and singing live; I decided to create a character that was the opposite of what everybody else was doing, so I decided Coco was going to be “less is more.”

ION: What do you keep in your purse?

I always like a nice little bag of cough drops, like an old lady. I always have to have lip balm, Aquaphor. That’s a “must.” When I go out as Coco, I carry my perfume with me because I

ION: If you could be the spokesperson for any product,

Oh God! What kind of questions are these? I’m terrible at these kind of questions that come out of left field! You remember the old coffee commercials? What were those things? God, the little cans of coffee …

ION: The General Foods International International Coffees!

Coco: I did the “Tension Tamer” videos for Celestial Seasonings Tea. I’d be very good at branding a nice little tea company and having a tea party. In fact, I have a whole set of beautiful china that a fan sent to me from England. Old Country Roses by Royal Albert. He even sent me tablecloths and little knives. It was his grandmother’s. Honey, I’m set to do a commercial. “High Tea with Coco Peru.” I can make little finger sandwiches. I make an excellent egg salad. My husband loves my tuna salad.

ION: What is your favorite part of performing?

Coco: Actually, I have terrible stage fright. It’s all related to my childhood of feeling ostracized by my community, being made fun of and bullied. I still carry that with me into the world. As confident and as fabulous as I present myself, there’s still that insecure child that’s worried about being judged and made fun of. So I go out on that stage in a way to exorcise myself from that stuff. I am forced to have to be vulnerable in front of an audience and deliver. Conquering those fears is what’s so rewarding to me. To have an audience rooting for you and reminding you that you are loved, that you are valued, and that you do have a place in this world is like ... I hate to say because it’s corny, but it’s like a gift.

ION: Your show isn’t just “joke, joke, joke.” There’s a fine line between bringing the audience in and getting them to understand you without appearing pathetic. Do you know what I mean?

Coco: There’s a fine line between comedy and that sort of drama. My writing has evolved over the years. I try to ride that line and push the audience to something that’s a little bit more sentimental or serious or whatever, but then always follow it up with the laugh and not taking myself too seriously. That’s an important line to figure out and I think I have.

ION: You’ve performed in Phoenix before.

Coco: I’m always so pleasantly, wonderfully surprised at the diversity of my audience. The first time I was in Phoenix a a friend of mine booked me in this beautiful theater. In another adjoining theater there was a show about the Holocaust. I remember peeking out and there was an old couple—canes and everything—sitting right front and center. I ran back to my friend, I said, “They’re at the wrong show. They meant to go to the Holocaust show!” So he went out to them and asked, and they said, “No, we’re here to see Coco Peru.” They were the best. Never judge.

And I was sainted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in Phoenix. I’ve been sainted by other chapters, but that was the first time I had ever been sainted. It was such an honor. I get chills thinking about it. I really cherish that memory.

ION: Well, it’s nice to know that we rose to the occasion.

Coco: Yes, you did. Phoenix better come out while I’m still working and see me. This show is, of course, me telling my stories, but also it’s about addressing our past and then being able to push forward beyond it. I want to come and create a new fabulous memory in Phoenix … and I want people to have a great time.

Hey, Coco Puffs! Find out more about Coco at MissCocoPeru.com and check out her YouTube channel.

Don’t miss “Coco Peru is Bitter, Bothered, and Beyond” on Tuesday, February 28 at 7:30 p.m. at CB Live at Desert Ridge Marketplace, 21001 N. Tatum Blvd. with VIP seating, Meet & Greet available. Get tickets at CBLive.com

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PHX ATTRACTIONS

Arizona Renaissance Festival

What ho! Time to party like it’s 1599! Hoist a mug o’ grog, eat a giant turkey leg, and see a royal joist! Sunday, February 19 is “Royal Pride Day” for queer folk. Go to ArizonaRenFestInfo.com for tickets, directions and royal decrees.

Weekends, February 4 thru’ April 2

Arizona Gay Rodeo

Yee haw! Saddle up, pardners! Bronco busters, bull riders, pole benders and other cowpokes will compete at the Corona Ranch, 7611 S. 29th Ave. in Laveen. Food, entertainment, vendors and more. For tickets, schedule of events and info visit AGRA-PHX.com Yahoo, y’all!

February 17-19

Willo Home Tour & Street Fair

Visit beautifully restored historic with beautiful yards and gardens, plus a street fair featuring local vendors along with the Antique Car Show. There’s live music, food trucks and a beer and wine garden, too, at 3rd & 5th Avenues in the Willo District. Tix at WilloPHX.com

Sunday, February 19 at 9 a.m.

One Night of Queen

Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Can you do the fandango? Garry Mullen and the Works will take you back to the days when Freddy Mercury’s operatic trills rocked the world. This awesome tribute band will be at the Celebrity Theater, 440 N. 32nd St. in Phoenix. Tix at CelebrityTheatre.com or call 602-267-1600

February 26, 7 p.m.-10:30 p.m.

EVENTS
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AGRA Rodeo

Join the Charlie’s wagon train (that’s a “party bus,” cowpokes) to the AGRA Rodeo on February 18 & 19. Tickets include round trip transportation, admission, $10 in drink tickets, and a dab of White Lightning or sarsaparilla served on the bus. Plus, (get ready for this!) you get a commemorative t-shirt! Your favorite bartenders and showgirls from the saloon will be your bronco bustin’ hosts and serving up fun along the way!

Tickets are $65 each and must be purchased at Charlie’s Phoenix or email PartyBus@CharliesNightclub.com

Adriana Galliano & Francisco Lalo, Moxxii Saxton, Valentino & Francisco
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Kimberly Ka’oir & Izmark Lexxx, Valentino & Izmark

Dvyne Valentino & Nate

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Francisco, Tori Steele & Lalo

Pussy LeHoot

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Sasha Bratz & Lalo

BS West T Girl Revue (W)

Charlie’s Kinky Tuesdays (W)

Sazerac Karaoke (W)

BS West T Girl Revue (W)

BS West Drag Bingo (W)

Charlie’s Kinky Tuesdays (W)

Sazerac Karaoke (W)

BS West Drag Bingo (W)

Willow District Willow Home Tour

Sazerac Karaoke (W)

Charlie’s Kinky Tuesdays (W)

CB Live Coco Peru

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the Rooftop Sunday Funday (W)
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Bunkhouse Sunday Funday
Charlie’s Sunday Funday (W) Renaissance Festival Pride Day Charlie’s Sunday Funday (W)
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BS West 2-4-1 College Night (W)

BS West Visionairies (W)

Roosevelt Row First Friday (M)

Flex Spa’s Phoenix Blackout Party (1st & 3rd Sat)

Renaissance Festival Renaissance Festival (W)

Sazerac Whiskey Flights / Cigars (W)

Sazerac Weekly DJ’s (W)

Location TBD PHX Takeover (M)

Renaissance Festival Renaissance Festival (W)

BS West 2-4-1 College Night (W)

BS West Visionairies (W)

BS West Elements (W)

Charlie’s/Corona Ranch AGRA Gay Rodeo

Flex Spa’s Phoenix Blackout Party (1st & 3rd Sat)

Charlie’s/Corona Ranch AGRA Gay Rodeo

Sazerac Whiskey Flights / Cigars (W)

Thunderbird Lounge Loteria (W)

BS West Elements (W)

Renaissance Festival Renaissance Festival (W)

BS West 2-4-1 College Night (W)

Sazerac Weekly DJ’s (W)

Roosevelt Row

First Friday (M)

Renaissance Festival Renaissance Festival (W)

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Tips and Tricks for Loving Thyself This

Valentine’s Day (And All Year ‘Round!)

1. Smile! Insecure about your teeth or gum health? Try a closed mouth smile. Or Smize! Smiling releases endorphins that combat stress and make you feel happier.

2. Masturbate. Self love starts within. Nobody knows you like you do, and if you can’t love yourself… well, they’re not paying me, but you know the rest! Spend some time worshiping your temple. Your body does a lot for you and you can return the favor. Whether you dance in circles on your own or with a consenting partner or friend, find your pleasure and indulge in release.

3. Think Before You Send That Message. (See #2) Make sure you’re spending your valuable time and energy on nouns that nourish you. Make sure you’re giving what you’re looking to receive. According to the Laws of Attraction, whatever you focus your energy on will come back to you, but if you’re putting out signals that aren’t being received—send those signals elsewhere and allow yourself the space to be received. “The Present is Perfect” so carpe diem and adjust your energy to manifest your fantasy into reality.

4. Treat Yo(Yo) Self. You work hard! Or maybe you don’t? That’s really none of my business. Schedule time for you and make it something to look forward to. Maybe you need to recharge with a good meal, and a night unplugged, or burn off some energy in nature, or on the dance floor. Find something that nourishes you and make it an event. I’m someone who needs a balance of solitude and social interaction. Sometimes treating myself means splurging for something new to wear, but lately I’ve been channeling my energies into projects that also provide me that something to look forward to, allowing me the opportunity to focus on my work while also accomplishing an enjoyable experience.

5. Practice Gratitude. The greatest gift I was ever given was the challenge of a gratitude journal. The challenge is to write down at least three things that you’re grateful for every day, with no repeats. It seems daunting at first. No repeats? Finding the gratitude in life wasn’t nearly as challenging as it was rewarding. Colors look more vibrant when you brighten up your point of view—or maybe that’s just the weed… It’s never too late to take a deep breath and find something to be grateful for.

6. Hydrate! We’re 66% water, and it’s true: water improves brain function, your skin will look better, and your organs will function better. You’ll feel better. I get it—it’s not easy to always stay hydrated. The path to success will be unique to the individual. Keep track of your water intake. For me it’s as simple as every time I pee, replacing some of the fluid I dispensed to maintain a healthy, neutral color. Too much pigment will let me know what my body needs to keep me healthy and happy so that I can smile, find gratitude, and make it to my next checkpoint in life with bigger, better, and more BLACKFIRE than ever.

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Alwun House Exotic Art Show

This the longest-running exhibit of erotic and exotic art in the country, showcasing local and regional visual artists whose work ranges from provocative to playful, sensual to uninhibited. Scintillating! Titillating! Don’t miss the Erotic Poetry & Music Festival on Friday, February 17. 1204 E. Roosevelt St. in Phoenix. For tickets visit AlwunHouse.org

Opening February 10

Glass Menagerie

Meet Amanda, a faded Southern belle, her delicate daughter, Laura, her son, Tom, who brings home a Gentleman Caller to meet his sister. Tennessee Williams’ heartbreaking play about love, betrayal, and everything in between. Arizona Theatre Company, Herberger Theater Ctr., 222 E. Monroe St. in Phx. For tix & info visit ATC.org

Feb 16-March 5

The Music of John Williams in Concert

You won’t want to miss these selections from some of movie maestro John Williams’ most powerful film scores, including Star Wars, E.T., Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, Saving Private Ryan, and more, composed by the movie maestro, John Williams performed by the Phoenix Symphony at Symphony Hall, 75 N. 2nd St. Tix: PhoenixSymphony.org

February 17, 18, & 19

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The Real Friends of WeHo

An unfiltered and honest look at a group of friends living, loving and pursuing their passions in the West Hollywood (Honest? Seriously? In WeHo?) revealing their “most intimate truths.” The cast who promises to reveal their (get ready for this) “authentic selves” *cough, cough* includes Todrick Hall.

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For the Love of DILFS

This looks like a fabulous tragic train wreck reality show. Two groups of gay men, “Daddies” and “Himbos,” compete to find ersatz love and win $10,000. Weepy former ION cover model/WeHo gogo boy par excellence “Prince” Joshua competes to be the top (or “bottom,” rather) gold digger! Can he do it?

The Last of Us

Twenty years after a fungal outbreak ravages the planet, survivors are tasked with a mission that could change everything. Gays know all about plagues, so the series builds upon inclusivity. Bill (Nick Offerman), is revealed to have had a lover named Frank who hanged himself. So … cheerful. And inclusive. Co-starring Murray Bartlett, a real gay.

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DRINK & EVENT GUIDE

BS West Elements After Dark 10:30p DJ Dance Party 10p $8 U-Call-It 8p-Mid KARAOKE 9p $6 Deep Eddy Vodka Charlie’s $1 HH 6p-8p Piper M’Shay 8:30p Sinful Studs 9:30p $1 HH 6p-8p Line Dancing 6p Saturday Stars 9:30p Sinful Studs 5:30p Pussy LeHoot & Friends 8:30p Centrico Open 11a-2p, 5p-Mid Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 11a-2p, 5p-Mid Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 10a-2p Located inside San Carlos Hotel From the Rooftop Open 4p-12p DJ 6p-Mid #brunchbeats 10a-3p DJ/Live Music 11a-1a #brunchbeats DJ 11a-6p Thunderbird Lng Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p DRAG every First Friday w/ Pandora Open 4p- 2a FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a FREE Classic Video Games Sazerac HH 4p-8p House DJ 9p- Cl HH 4p-8p House DJ 9p- Cl Sunday Funday Drink Specials ALL DAY Hula’s HH 3:30pm-6pm HH 10:30am-3:30pm HH 10:30am-3:30pm Wok’N’Roll PHX Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll DRAG BINGO 8p-10p KARAOKE 10p-Cl Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll
ION PHOENIX FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY ION APP: RESTAURANTS ► PHOENIX / SCOTTSDALE ► CENTRICO 54 IONARIZONA FEB 2023
HYDRAT
ION APP: TRAVEL & LEISURE ► PHOENIX / SCOTTSDALE ► CAMBRIA HOTEL T-Girl Revue 10:30p HH $3 off U-Call-It 4p-8p DRAG BINGO 9p HH $3 off U-Call-It 4p-8p 2-4-1 ALL DAY Weekend Wednesday 10:30p Fuego Latin Night 10:30p $3 Dom Pitchers $4 Limeade Cocktails KARAOKE 8p 2-4-1 ALL DAY DRAG BINGO 8p Sinful Studs 10:30p $3 Corona Bottles $4 Pitchers Claudia & Co. 8:30p 2-4-1 ALL DAY Line Dancing 6p Pipin’ Hot w/ Piper M’Shay 8:30p CLOSED Open 11a-2p, 5p-9p Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 11a-2p, 5p-9p Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 11a-2p, 5p-9p Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p / Live Music Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p / Live Music Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games HH 4p-8p KARAOKE 8p HH 4p-8p Taco Tuesday / House DJ HH 4p-8p Whiskey Flights & Cigars HH 4p-8p Retro Dance HH 3:30pm-6pm HH 3:30pm-6pm HH 3:30pm-10pm HH 3:30pm-6pm SIN Service Industry Night $4 Drink Specials Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FEB 2023 IONMOBILE 55
ION APP: LOCAL ► RETAIL ► THE FIT ALTERATIONS ION APP: MEDICAL ► DOCTORS ► FAMILY PRACTICE SPECIALISTS 56 IONARIZONA FEB 2023

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NAVIGATION

Use the ION ARIZONA APP for Google Maps turn-by-turn directions with links to UBER & LYFT!

DON’T DRINK & DRIVE!

ION APP: MEDICAL ► PHARMACIES ► CVS SPECIALTY
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PHOENIX METRO WEBSITE ADDRESS PHONE Friendly bars, clubs & restaurants: INSIDE THIS ISSUE 2424 E. Thomas Rd. (602) 334-1462 3702 N. 16th St. (602) 266-9001 4301 N. 7th Ave. (602) 515-3667 7125 E. 5th Ave., Scottsdale (480) 945-9028 4428 N. 7th Ave. (602) 200-9154 1730 E. McDowell Rd. (602) 253-0689 202 N. Central Ave. (602) 254-8226 727 W. Camelback Rd. (602) 265-0224 3702 N. 7th St. (602) 212-9888 3432 E. Illini Rd. (602) 274-DICK 105 W. Portland St. (602) 287-8700 1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy. (602) 271-9011 222 E Portland St (Cambria) (602) 675-3500 5114 N. 7th St. (602) 265-8454 1724 E. McDowell Rd. (602) 254-0231 8925 N. 12th St. (602) 795-6007 3110 N. Central Ave. Ste 175 (602) 264-5307 3347 N. 7th Ave. (602) 277-4831 5002 E. Van Buren St. (602) 267-9959 1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. (602) 242-5114 1560 E. Osborn Rd. (602) 266-0477 3308 N. 24th St. (602) 429-9660 4129 N. 7th Ave. (602) 248-8559 821 N. 2nd St. (602) 334-1626 4343 N. 7th Ave. (602) 264-1700 710 W. Montecito Ave. (602) 283-4621 2801 N. Central Ave. (602) 230-2960 4412 N. Miller Rd. (480) 427-2526 1. Anvil 2. Bar 1 3. Boycott Bar 4. BS West 5. Bunkhouse 6. The Cash 7. Centrico 8. Charlie’s 9. Cruisin’ 7th 10. Dick’s Cabaret 11. FEZ 12. Flex Spas 13. From The Rooftop 14. Hula’s 15. Karamba 16. King Pin Bar/Rest 17 Kobalt 18. Mi Patio 19. NuTowne Saloon 20. OZ Bar 21. Plazma 22. Rewined Bar 23. The Rock 24. Sazerac 25. Stacy’s @ Melrose 26. Thunderbird Lnge 27. Wok n Roll - Phx 28. Wok n Roll - Scott anvilbaraz.com bar1bar.com boycottbarphx.com bswest.com bunkhousesaloonphx cashnightclub.com centricophx.com charliesphoenix.com cruisin7th.com dickscabaret.com fezoncentral.com flexspas.com ftrooftop.com hulasmoderntiki.com karambanightclub.com kingpingrill.com kobaltbarphoenix.com mipatioaz.com nutownebar.com ozbarphx.com rewinedphx.square therockdmphoenix sazeracphoenix.com stacysatmelrose.com thunderbirdloungephx woknrollaz.com woknrollaz.com FEB 2023 IONMOBILE 63
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FEB 2023 IONMOBILE 65

ION FABULANCE

66 IONARIZONA FEB 2023
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Is it honesty time? It’s Aquarius season thru’ Feb. 17, giving you a chance to examine your authenticity. Mars, the planet of action and Mercury, the planet of communication, are moving full steam ahead. Co-hosted by the zany air sign Aquarius, and thoughtful Pisces, the Sun encourages your imagination to run wild because there are no retrogrades until April. You’ll be surprised at what you can manifest with this plantary energy. Trust your intuition. On February 20, Venus points her flirtatious spotlight, attracting people to you as you charm the pants off of them. Figuratively and literally.

ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

You’re feeling frisky thanks to Venus canoodling with Pluto. Get ready to crush hard. Is it the real deal? It’s a thrilling, neck-breaking, genitalengorging ride. You might even feel like barfing.

ION HOMOSCOPES

TAURUS April. 21 - May 20

Some planets and people have an opinion about you. So. Effing. What? Venus makes you into a magnet of opportunity and, frankly, we all would like to see you naked.

GEMINI May 21 - June 21

Jupiter sparks others’ interest in your ideas. Show ‘em whatcha got. In the idea department, that is. Oh, heck. Show ‘em everything. You probably have a Chaturbate account. Be direct, but don’t be a jerk about it.

CANCER June 22 - July 22

This is a month for growth thanks to those cosmic rays surrounding you. Expect some coin to come your way, and get a haircut: Venus wants to show you off.

LEO July 23 - Aug. 22

The Full Moon in your sign shuts down a problematic and ongoing issue. Finally. Mars shakes your deadbeat friends down for money they owe you. Love: Are you serious about it, or just sweet on yourself?

VIRGO Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

You know everyone. Mercury thinks it’s a good idea to focus on networking with those in the know and manifest that shit into existence. Renegotiate everything. And read the fine print.

LIBRA Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

In the immortal words of the oracle Madonna, “Open your heart with the key.” You’ll get some surprises on Feb. 20 when Venus fights her way through Aries to bring you passion.

SCORPIO Oct. 23 - Nov.23

Word on the street is that you have a sex sling at home. Venus says you’re definitely passionate – for one night only. You’re too goddam moody for anything long term. Right now.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

Sags know how to party because their pants are usually down and their skirts are usually up. If you’re single, romances are going to be short and sweet. (But your tricks are defintely gonna save your number.)

CAPRICORN Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

This is a good month for revelation!

It’s like Show ’n’ Tell or See ’n’ Say. Don’t worry about exposing too much. (Well, that’s not quite true. Don’t give everything away.)

AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Brace yourself for drama. But you have hystrionics to deal with it. Are you on the same page with your co-star? Check the script. Wait for the cues. Birthday: Try learning a new skill and create a public debut. Venus has you hunting for money. Keep a commitment you made to yourself.

PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You can always depend on Jupiter to broaden your horizons and grant you a windfall with some cash. Birthday

Fishy-Friends experience Venus hooking up with Neptune, so expect glamour, fantasy, and a little delusion and some special delights.

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