ION Arizona #248

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DINING OUT ► PHX / SCOTTS ► MI PATIO 8 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022
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APP | SOCIAL | VIDEO | MAGAZINE Locally Owned and Operated! 17 W. Vernon Ave., Suite 3 Phoenix, AZ 85003 602-750-1164 (no solicitors) www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com PUBLISHER / APP DEVELOPER / SALES Jack M. Tesorero ...................... jacktesorero@me.com EDITOR / EDITORIAL SUBMISSIONS Deon Brown ............................... ionazeditor@me.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR / MODEL SUBMISSIONS Alex Campos ...................... ionazproduction@me.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 PHOTOGRAPHERS: LeakedGlass Production Rafalogie Studio Fernando Hernandez RSVP Photography CONTRIBUTORS: DISTRIBUTION: Paul Sanchez Danny Silvani Published monthly by © 2022 JMT Designs, Inc. All rights reserved All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain prop erty of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and pub lished in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, dis play, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content. 1995-2022: 27 Years of Design and Creative Excellence WEB: Zachary Cross / Custom Resumes APP: Steve Sovacki / Biz Burst Mobile 12 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022
ION SAZERAC #IONAZ sazeracphx 14 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022
15December 2019 IONMOBILE 15 15ION APP: GAY BARS & CLUBS ► PHOENIX / SCOTTSDALE ► SAZERAC 15

Happy “Homo”ween!

Our Biggest, Most Fabulous Holiday is HERE!

When I was growing up there was a lot of hatred towards homosexuals. Let alone LGBTQ+ people. People openly used slurs to reduce us back into the closet. They would used words like homo, fag, queer and my dad‘s personal favorite “light in the loafers.” But we did something miraculous in the last 40 years. We owned those words! They are our words so feel free to use them. If “they” use them, it’s hatred. That’s why this article is entitled Happy Homoween. We own Halloween.

This month we celebrate the return of the BS West’s epic Halloween party. There are also incredible parties at Charlie’s, Sazerak and throughout the Valley. I think I’m going to be a slutty publisher. It won’t be a stretch. BTW we own the word “slutty”!

Also in this issue we have an interview with Billy Eichner and Luke Macfarlane, the stars of the rom-com BROS. If you haven’t seen it yet you owe it to yourself to check it out in the theaters, or when it’s released on streaming. It’s funny, very sexy and shines a light on the drama in our community. BTW we own the word “Drama” too!

Thank you to everyone who stopped by the ION Arizona booth at Phoenix Pride Festival and seeing the debut of ION RV, Pricilla Queen of the Desert in the Pride Parade. After Pride weekend, I love to sit back, relax, evaluate ION, my life and our community. I’m so proud of Phoenix Pride board, staff, volunteers, sponsors and supporters. BTW we own the word “Pride”!

That’s it for me. Enjoy this issue, get out, be careful, get your Monkey Pox vaccination and for God sake, make good choices. Or not!

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Finding love amongst the ho’s.

Straight folks have had rom-coms galore like When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and many more. This is a new twist in the hetero rom-com lexicon. This is 2022, and society is more inclusive (well, than it used to be). Bros is the first studio-backed gay rom-com with gay men in the lead and an all LGBTQ cast. Bros co-written by the co-star Billy Eichner (Billy on the Street, Difficult People) along with director, Nick Stoller. Co-star Luke Macfarlane (ABC’s Brothers Sisters and an extraordinary number of Hallmark movies, often in gay roles) spends his free time as a carpenter and woodworker. (More on that. Keep reading.)

The story: Meet Bobby Leiber (Eichner), a New Yorker. At 40, he’s spent most of his life alone and has convinced himself he’s better off this way. Buff & brawny Luke Macfarlane is Aaron Shepard, mild mannered estate lawyer by day, shirtless, nightclubbing tenderoni by night. And then one enchanted evening, they meet …

ION Arizona interviewed Eichner and Macfarlane in person about Bros and their experience, and the movie.

Billy: This is long overdue and Bros is part of a great wave of LGBTQ content we’re seeing on streaming platforms and online. This is getting released in movie theaters which is very special and exciting. It’s an R-rated gay rom-com produced by Judd Apatow, in over 3000 theaters in North America and all over the world. Historically Hollywood has always put famous straight actors in the most high profile roles. It’s cool that we’re finally getting to tell our own stories.

Luke Macfarlane: I’m certainly very grateful that I stuck around long enough that I could be around long enough that I get to be in a movie as a lead actor.

ION: You two were not acquainted with each other prior to filming.

Billy: That’s true. The first words we spoke to each other were the lines Luke’s character says to me when we were auditioning him.

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Luke: “You look angry.” That’s the first thing I said. I don’t even think it’s in the movie anymore.

Billy: Yes, it is. It’s literally one of your first lines in the movie!

Luke: Oh my goodness … I should watch it. (laughs)

Billy: We’ve already lost him to fame. He’s lost himself!

ION: Bros takes an unexpected turn from what we see in the trailers. I was expecting broad comedy throughout, but there are tender moments.

Luke: Because we deserve that.

ION: Bobby comments about gay men, “We’re horny, we’re selfish and we’re stupid.”

Billy: And he says, “I know, because I am, too.” Some of that is his own defense mechanisms. The premise we started with was “What happens when two people who both pride themselves on not needing love or a relationship fall in love with each other?” How do you navigate that? There’s a lot of comedy to be mined from that, and also a lot of poignancy.

ION: Are you both in love in real life? Not with each other, but in your own personal lives?

Billy: Ummm … No.

Luke: I do not ever talk about my personal life. (smiles)

ION: (to Luke) Outside of your woodworking?

Luke: (laughs) You get lots of my wood!

ION: Did the script take any unexpected turns during filming?

Billy: We kept working on it as we went along, adding jokes and bits of physical comedy. There’s a musical moment that got written while we were in production because it was influenced by a conversation that Luke and I had on set. We always kept it loose enough to keep adding jokes and as much funny material as possible.

ION: “Cancel Culture” is a big deal nowadays. The movie addresses this with issues like ageism, (“You both are too old to be in the pool.”)

Billy: There’s a lot of intergenerational conflict in the LGBTQ community—multiple generation gaps. We don’t talk about it much and I find it fascinating. It can also be very funny. We don’t want to make a sanctimonious movie; there’s a way to talk about these things and be funny and entertaining. Ultimately our goal is to make a funny movie.

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ION: With hook-up apps like Grindr, plus poppers, throuples, fourgies, do you think this might be seen as an exposé on gay relationships & activities?

Billy: Certainly the story of one gay couple doesn’t represent every gay couple, of course. But I think it’s fun to take a peek behind the curtain on what gay culture can be like or is like for these particular guys. Some of it’s very similar to how straight people are in relationships and some of it’s very different. It think for gay and straight audiences it’s exciting to experience something like that.

ION: “Gay sex was more fun when straight people were uncomfortable with it.” Sometimes being gay is like the Hula-Hoop of the 21st century.

Luke: That’s an interesting point, especially going back to the generational thing. I think there was this idea that because we’re gay we don’t have to do anything like anybody else. That’s still also the case, but also means you have to take a little bit more responsibility and share with everybody and that helps to erase shame as well.

ION: Luke, you’ve starred in Hallmark movies and the script pokes fun at them. Luke: (laughs) One or two. [More like 13 by last count. — Ed.]

Billy: That was written into the script before we cast Luke. I actually love Hallmark movies, but I like to spoof the things they love. That was all in the script and then we cast a Hallmark star opposite me.

Luke: Billy has a sensibility, ear to the ground understanding to anything zeitgeist-y happening in culture; that’s one of his gifts. In a weird sort of way it’s an homage to how successful Hallmark has been that they put out something that can be satirized.

ION: You have an excellent singing voice, Billy. Luke, you also have a musical background including singing, and you also play cello.

Luke: Somebody’s done their homework! I like this!

Billy: I always sang since I was a kid and did ton of musical theatre in college; that’s what I thought I was gonna do. I was a New York kid and wanted to be on Broadway; then I started doing comedy and things went a different direction. I love singing, I love musicals. They’re still my favorite thing.

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ION: Did you two ever consider a duet in the movie?

Billy: Wait for the sequel! (laughs)

ION: There’s too much underwear on in the bedroom scenes.

Billy: Ahhhhh! But you know! It’ not NC-17!

It’s not porn!

Luke: It’s not The Brown Bunny! (laughs)

Billy: (to Luke) You really surprise me sometimes. (laughs)

ION: Who’s the better kisser?

Billy: How can you say? We’re both kissing each other! I thought we were both good! We also had to kiss a lot! You do those takes, like, 50 times, you know they’re not all gonna be great! (both laugh)

ION: I might have to do my own independent marketing research survey—for the readers, of course.

Billy: I know how that goes!

Released September 30, check for showtimes at a theater near you. Streaming projections are for Peacock next month.

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PHX ATTRACTIONS

Barbra Seville’s Sweet & Sour Drag Show

The hardest working queen in a kimono brings her chopsticks to the stage for fun ’n’ fried rice. Ask for the Cum of Sum Yung Gai special. Wok ’n’ Roll, 2801 N. Central Ave. at Thomas Rd. (Guest performers subject to change)

Thursdays, 8 p.m.

Monsters Menagerie

This provocative and uncensored juried art exhibit is chock-full of grotesque and profane art from local artists. Demented works from menacing, dark noir fantasiesare on display at the spooky Alwun House, 1204 E. Roosevelt St. in Phoenix. AlwunHouse.org has all the info.

Arizona State Fair

The Ferris Wheel, the Midway, Whack-a-Mole, livestock, quilts, jellies and jam, concerts … and just about anything you can eat served on a stick. For tickets, parking info, and a complete schedule visit AZStateFair.com See you at the fairgrounds at 1826 W. McDowell Rd. in Phoenix.

Rocky Horror Picture Show with Barry Bostwick

The greatest cult movie of all time! Barry Bostwick (the dorky Brad Majors) hosts this special 47th anniversary screening. Celebrity Theater, 440 N. 2nd St. in Phoenix. Tickets: 602-267-1600 or go to CelebrityTheater.com

October 18 at 8 p.m.

ION EVENTS
October 7-29
through October 30 26 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022

PHX Fray

Put on your play clothes and join in this LGBTQ focused sports and events league. Play sports and other games. Fall leagues are now open. Meet to watch the Phoenix Suns play. Don’t forget their PHX Singles Series mixers on October 25 • November 15 • December 13. Check out PHXfray.com League registration ends October 18

Panic! At the Disco

You won’t want to miss the “Viva Las Vengeance” tour of this dance-pop-alt-punk-electro-psychedelic rock band with mouthwatering pansexual front man Brendon Urie! Footprint Center, 201 E. Jefferson St. in Phoenix. For tix go to TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000

Sunday, October 23 - 7 p.m.

Ripple PHX Carnival

Step right up for a creepy carnival with entertainment, prizes, games, learn about HIV transmission and prevention, plus get tested, too! Whitney Stevens & Yoyo Blackfire host Friday night. Visit RipplePHX.org for more info. Stacy’s, 4343 N. 7th Ave. in Phoenix.

October 28 & 29 - 7 p.m.-2 a.m.

Canal Convergence

The free,10-night event features large-scale public artworks created by artists from around the world, plus augmented reality artworks, live music, food trucks, and a beer and wine garden. Scottsdale Waterfront. For more information go to CanalConvergence.com

November 4-13
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Models:
Troy, Joe, Jimmy, Tanner, & Dexter

Never stop being curious. Stuff doesn’t get much stranger or gayer than things at the legendary BS West Halloween party. This year the staff at BS West turns Scottsdale, Arizona, 2022 into the small town of Hawkins, Indiana, 1983. One thing leads to another … Watch out as dark government agencies and terrifying supernatural forces converge on the bar creating a supernatural trail featuring drag queens, go go boys, bartenders, and a world where everything’s turned upside down. Friends don’t lie.

The fun, thrills, & chills happen on Saturday, October 29 at BS West, 7125 E. Fifth Ave. in Scottsdale. Scan the QR Code for tickets

Fiona
the Hippo Dress by Geo Johnson
bswestscottsdale
Joey Jay
ionarizona
Savannah Stevens bswestscottsdale
Jai Skyy ionarizona
ION OCT / NOV 22 SUNDAY TUESDAYMONDAY 9 23 16 30 6 11 25 18 1 8 10 24 17 31 7 From the Rooftop Sunday Funday (W) Bunkhouse Sunday Funday (W) Steele Indian School Park Phoenix Pride Sazerac Sunday Funday (W) Charlie’s Sunday Funday (W) Charlie’s Kinky Tuesdays (W) Charlie’s Hallowingo (Bingo) BS West Drag Bingo (W) BS West Drag Bingo (W) Charlie’s Kinky Tuesdays (W) BS West T Girl Revue (W) BS West T Girl Revue (W) Arizona Financial Theatre Carly Rae Jepsen Sazerac Karaoke (W) Sazerac Karaoke (W) Charlie’s Sunday Funday (W) Charlie’s Halloween Weekend OCT NOV (W) Weekly (M) Monthly 34 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022
WEDNESDAY 12 26 19 2 9 BS West 2-4-1 College Night (W) BS West 2-4-1 College Night (W) Sazerac Whiskey Flights / Cigars (W) Sazerac Whiskey Flights / Cigars (W) BS West 2-4-1 College Night (W) THURSDAY SATURDAYFRIDAY 13 27 20 3 10 15 29 22 5 12 14 28 21 4 11 BS West Visionairies (W) BS West Visionairies (W) Sazerac Weekly DJ’s (W) Thunderbird Lounge Loteria (W) Sazerac Weekly DJ’s (W) Steele Indian School Park Phoenix Pride BS West Halloween Block Party Flex Spa’s Phoenix Blackout Party (1st & 3rd Sat) Flex Spa’s Phoenix Blackout Party (1st & 3rd Sat) Park Central Pavilion Queer Renaissance Pedal Haus PHX Takeover (M) Stacy’s @ Melrose Ripple PHX Carnival BS West Elements (W) Roosevelt Row First Friday (M) Location TBD PHX Takeover (M) Walter Where?House Phoenix Pride After Party Charlie’s Camp Charlie’s Monster Ball Charlie’s The FireBall Kobalt Joey Jay Presents BUBBLEGUM Charlie’s Halloween Weekend OCT / NOV 2022 IONMOBILE 35
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Oklahoma!

“And when we say, ‘yeeow-a-yip-i-o-ee ay!’ …” Don’t miss this legendary Broadway warhorse, but this time it’s been re-imagined with a distinctly darker, very modern subtext with a new vision on a classic musical that’s got some critics’ feathers ruffled. ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest Ave. in Tempe. For more info and tix visit ASUGammage.com or call 480-965-3434

The Lion

A heartwarming and powerful one-man folk musica with the help of five different guitarsl. A true story about a young man’s relationship with his father, his survival and redemption, and about finding courage with music. Arizona Theatre Company, at the Herberger Theatre Center. Go to ATC.org or call 833-ATC-SEAT

Friday the 13th: the parody musical

Gory, gruesome, and funny! It all happens in a murder cursed summer camp. Teenagers and counselors are slashed, shot and stabbed—all with singing and dancing puppets. Playhouse on the Park in the BMO Building, 1850 N. Central Ave. Visit AllPuppetPlayerscom for info and tickets or call 602-254-2151

ION ARTS
October 18-25
October 7-30
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Huluween Dragstravaganza

Ginger Minj and Monét Xchange host his variety show spectacular featuring drag icons from RuPaul’s Drag Race (Surprise. Not!) and beyond performing in sketches, musical numbers, commercial parodies, and more—all inspired by the horrifying Halloween content you can stream … on Hulu, of course. Now screaming!

STREAMING

Queer for Fear

This four-part documentary series isn’t only a shrewd analysis of how horror movies embrace queer characters and themes through a queer lens, seeing them not as violent, murderous narratives, but as tales of survival that resonate with queer audiences. It’s also a treasure hunt, leading us back to the films themselves using sharp and often witty insights.

Los Espookys - season 2

The primarily Spanish-language unapologetically queer comedy follows four friends who stage horror-themed events—mostly elaborate hoaxes. Two characters are queer, another is somewhere on the spectrum. Anything can happen in this odd, supernatural series peppered with queer references and characters, bizarre humor and horror iconography.

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APP:
LOCAL ► RETAIL ► THE FIT ALTERATIONS
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BS West Elements After Dark 10:30p DJ Dance Party 10p $8 U-Call-It 8p-Mid KARAOKE 9p $6 Deep Eddy Vodka Charlie’s $1 HH 6p-8p Piper M’Shay 8:30p Sinful Studs 9:30p $1 HH 6p-8p Line Dancing 6p Saturday Stars 9:30p Sinful Studs 5:30p Pussy LeHoot & Friends 8:30p Centrico Open 11a-2p, 5p-Mid Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 11a-2p, 5p-Mid Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 10a-2p Located inside San Carlos Hotel From the Rooftop Open 4p-12p DJ 6p-Mid #brunchbeats 10a-3p DJ/Live Music 11a-1a #brunchbeats DJ 11a-6p Thunderbird Lng Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p DRAG every First Friday w/ Pandora Open 4p- 2a FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a FREE Classic Video Games Sazerac HH 4p-8p House DJ 9p- Cl HH 4p-8p House DJ 9p- Cl Sunday Funday Drink Specials ALL DAY Let it Roll Bowl Bowl, Eat, Drink, Repeat Rock n Cosmic Bowl 5p Bowl, Eat, Drink, Repeat Rock n Cosmic Bowl 5p Bowl, Eat, Drink, Repeat Wok’N’Roll PHX Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll DRAG BINGO 8p-10p KARAOKE 10p-Cl Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll DRINK & EVENT GUIDE HYDRATION PHOENIX FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY ION APP: RESTAURANTS ► PHOENIX / SCOTTSDALE ► CENTRICO 54 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022
ION APP: TRAVEL & LEISURE ► PHOENIX / SCOTTSDALE ► CAMBRIA HOTEL T-Girl Revue 10:30p HH $3 off U-Call-It 4p-8p DRAG BINGO 9p HH $3 off U-Call-It 4p-8p 2-4-1 ALL DAY Weekend Wednesday 10:30p Fuego Latin Night 10:30p $3 Dom Pitchers $4 Limeade Cocktails KARAOKE 8p 2-4-1 ALL DAY DRAG BINGO 8p Sinful Studs 10:30p $3 Corona Bottles $4 Pitchers Claudia & Co. 8:30p 2-4-1 ALL DAY Line Dancing 6p Pipin’ Hot w/ Piper M’Shay 8:30p CLOSED Open 11a-2p, 5p-9p Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 11a-2p, 5p-9p Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 11a-2p, 5p-9p Located inside San Carlos Hotel Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p / Live Music Open 4p-10p HH 5p-7p / Live Music Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games Open 4p- 2a HH 4p-7p FREE Classic Video Games HH 4p-8p KARAOKE 8p HH 4p-8p Taco Tuesday / House DJ HH 4p-8p Whiskey Flights & Cigars HH 4p-8p Retro Dance Bowl, Eat, Drink, Repeat Bowl, Eat, Drink, Repeat Bowl, Eat, Drink, Repeat Bowl, Eat, Drink, Repeat SIN Service Industry Night $4 Drink Specials Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll Chinese, Sushi & Rock n Roll MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY OCT / NOV 2022 IONMOBILE 55
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SEPT/OCT 2021 IONMOBILE 59 59December 2019 IONMOBILE 59ION APP: GAY BARS & CLUBS ► PHOENIX / SCOTTSDALE ► SAZERAC 59
ION APP: OPEN FOR BUSINESS ► PRINTING ► FAST SIGNS ION APP: OPEN FOR BUSINESS ► RETAIL ► DIAMOND JIM’S 60 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022

NAVIGAT

ION ION APP: MEDICAL ► PHARMACIES ► CVS SPECIALTY Use the ION ARIZONA APP for Google Maps turn-by-turn directions with links to UBER & LYFT! DON’T DRINK & DRIVE! 62 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022

E. Thomas Rd. (602) 334-1462

N. 16th St. (602) 266-9001

N. 7th Ave. (602) 515-3667

E. 5th Ave., Scottsdale (480) 945-9028

N. 7th Ave. (602) 200-9154

E. McDowell Rd. (602) 253-0689

N. Central Ave. (602) 254-8226

W. Camelback Rd. (602) 265-0224

N. 7th St. (602) 212-9888

E. Illini Rd. (602) 274-DICK

W. Portland St. (602) 287-8700

S. Black Canyon Hwy. (602) 271-9011

E Portland St (Cambria) (602) 675-3500

N. 7th St. (602) 265-8454

E. McDowell Rd. (602) 254-0231

N. 12th St. (602) 795-6007

N. Central Ave. Ste 175 (602) 264-5307

N. 7th Ave. (602) 277-4831

E. Van Buren St. (602) 267-9959

Bethany Home Rd. (602) 242-5114

Rd. (602) 266-0477

(602) 429-9660

(602) 248-8559

(602) 334-1626

(602) 264-1700

(602) 283-4621

Ave. (602) 230-2960

PHOENIX METRO WEBSITE ADDRESS PHONE Friendly bars, clubs & restaurants: INSIDE THIS ISSUE 2424
3702
4301
7125
4428
1730
202
727
3702
3432
105
1517
222
5114
1724
8925
3110
3347
5002
1804 W.
1560 E. Osborn
3308 N. 24th St.
4129 N. 7th Ave.
821 N. 2nd St.
4343 N. 7th Ave.
710 W. Montecito Ave.
2801 N. Central
4412 N. Miller Rd. (480) 427-2526 1. Anvil 2. Bar 1 3. Boycott Bar 4. BS West 5. Bunkhouse 6. The Cash 7. Centrico 8. Charlie’s 9. Cruisin’ 7th 10. Dick’s Cabaret 11. FEZ 12. Flex Spas 13. From The Rooftop 14. Hula’s 15. Karamba 16. King Pin Bar/Rest 17 Kobalt 18. Mi Patio 19. NuTowne Saloon 20. OZ Bar 21. Plazma 22. Rewined Bar 23. The Rock 24. Sazerac 25. Stacy’s @ Melrose 26. Thunderbird Lnge 27. Wok n Roll - Phx 28. Wok n Roll - Scott anvilbaraz.com bar1bar.com boycottbarphx.com bswest.com bunkhousesaloonphx cashnightclub.com centricophx.com charliesphoenix.com cruisin7th.com dickscabaret.com fezoncentral.com flexspas.com ftrooftop.com hulasmoderntiki.com karambanightclub.com kingpingrill.com kobaltbarphoenix.com mipatioaz.com nutownebar.com ozbarphx.com rewinedphx.square therockdmphoenix sazeracphoenix.com stacysatmelrose.com thunderbirdloungephx woknrollaz.com woknrollaz.com OCT / NOV 2022 IONMOBILE 63
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Ready for your Horrorscope? We all have a few skeletons in our closet. The New Moon Solar Eclipse on October 25 (you can’t see it in Arizona). Purge your karmic past, discover your true, spooky intentions driving your desires. C’mon, the life of the living dead ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. ¶ Mars, the warrior of the gods, and ruler of ambition, aggression, and super hot sex, goes retrograde on Sunday, October 30. Big changes are on the way. ¶ Look for a total eclipse of the Full Moon November 8, which is Election Day. It starts at 1:59 a.m. Might be scary. Or might not.

HORRORSCOPES

ION

ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

The spooky Mercury Retrograde is over. Optimism abounds! Expect “new blood” to enter your life (but not your veins.) Conflicts are sorted out, but you simply have to meet the angry villagers halfway. At least.

TAURUS April. 21 - May 20 Venus opposes Jupiter and encourages creativity, but don’t overindulge in excessive pleasure, including feasting on the blood of virgins, if you know any.

GEMINI May 21 - June 21

You may be experiencing changes in your surroundings. This could include a new home, coffin, or haunted castle. You’ll get things done despite poltergeists moving everything around.

CANCER June 22 - July 22

Expect good news at work! It may be a promotion at the funeral parlor or cemetery. Stay ahead of the competition and earn the recognition you deserve. Open your tomb and get some exercise.

LEO July 23 - Aug. 22

Your instinct is to stay put in your comfy little casket, but your comfort zone is evolving. Jupiter retrograde on October 28 finds you returning to past versions of yourself. (Which “self” is that? There’s so many!)

VIRGO Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

You are not the same spooky spirit you were a month ago. Or even a century ago. Free yourself from the fear of monsters chasing you in your dreams. Banish them to the closet! Your moment is “now.” Harness that energy.

LIBRA Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

You stand out in a crowd–and not just because of the bolts in your neck and stitches. If it’s your birthday, you’ll discover you’re a natural in social settings–not just funerals and wakes, but fun parties, too.

SCORPIO Oct. 23 - Nov.23

Mercury retrograde gave you the courage to be authentic. If you’re a monster, stand up and be proud! Birthday Scorps gain clarity on a situation you thought was spooky, but will reanimate your life. Figuratively.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

Prioritize the hobbies and interests that align with what truly inspires you. Bringing the dead back to life? Well, it’s unconventional, but it’s a thought. Let’s start with something like kickball, or stamp collecting first.

CAPRICORN Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

With Pluto, the planet of transformation, is in Capricorn. Lucky you! You’ll find yourself turning from a caterpillar into a butterfly, or from a bat into a bloodsucking vampire. You get the general idea.

AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

You’re the weird alien of the zodiac–an oddball, thinking and acting outside the coffin. Sew up any loose ends by the New Moon Eclipse. Don’t fight with zombies. Or Scorpios. You’ll never win.

PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

It’s a good time to heal from past pain, like that stake driven through your heart. Keep company with ghouls and goblins who think like you. You see someone in a new light–just make sure it’s not daylight.

70 IONARIZONA OCT / NOV 2022
ION APP: ADULT ► BATHHOUSES ► FLEX SPAS PHOENIX 71
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