ION Arizona #172

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KARAOKE WITH NANCY

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BAR 1

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CELIA PUTTY’S FREAKY FRIDAY

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PLAZMA

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3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com PUBLISHER / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com EDITOR Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez PRODUCTION & ARTWORK SUBMISSIONS

ionazproduction@me.com

ADVERTISING SALES Jack Tesorero ............................................................ (602) 750-1164

jacktesorero@me.com

PHOTOGRAPHERS:

Fernando Hernandez Franklin Diaz Scotty Kirby Sean Kapera Stephanie Anne Donoghue NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS:

Addison DeWitt C. Edwards Ted Kirby

Peter Lora Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger

Published monthly by

1995-2015: 20 Years of Design and Creative Excellence © 2015 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

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Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

Heeere’s Johnny!

I

love Halloween!

When I was a kid, my mother was the Queen of Halloween. It was her favorite holiday, too. Almost every year, she would create a unique costume and I usually won every contest.

While she isn’t with us anymore, I carry on her legacy of Halloween supremacy.

This year ION Arizona had the first contest of its kind where you–the reader–picked our theme for our expanded 132-page October issue. We loved the challenge!

Photographer Scotty Kirby, creative stylist Jacob from Simon Stylez, and a cast of talented characters to bring you “Creepy Candyland.” Check it out on page 93.

Madonna is coming to the Valley on October 22, so we collaberated with one of Arizona’s Miss Gay America 2015 contestants (and Madge superfan) Barbra Seville to ask some of her fabulous friends to create a tribute to Madonna’s many looks throughout the many, many years. Look on page 80.

We also have two great interviews! YouTube personality and activist (and new author) Tyler Oakley is coming to Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe on October 26. Check out what he has to say (and Tyler always has something to say) on page 38.

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Star of the recently released feature film, Stonewall, Jonny Beauchamp discusses the talked about film, his breakout role in Showtime’s Penny Dreadful, trans issues, his career and more on page 44.

172 months ago, we started IONAZ in the guest house of my home in the Willo neighborhood. Since our humble beginnings, we have moved our offices three times. This month we move the ION offices once again. We’re heading to downtown Phoenix, one block away from FEZ, now celebrating their 10th anniversary. Read more about them on page 71.

I don’t want to sound like a broken record, a broken record, a broken record, but please support our sponsors and advertisers. ION is a directory of our community supporters.

What are you going as this Halloween?

Make sure you go to Mardi Gras Costumes in Scottsdale and Easley’s Fun Shop in Phoenix for the best costumes, makeup and accessories. Tell them I sent you.

Don’t forget to stop by the ION booth at Rainbows Festival and say, “Hi.” I’d love to meet you!

Jack Tesorero Halloween Lover

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BLUE COMEDY SHOW

SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM

CRUISIN’ 7TH

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Neon Rainbow Party

Time to break out the fluorescent day-glo wardrobe! Get ready for Rainbows Festival at the dazzling Neon Rainbow Party! This dazzling event features eight DJs, sexy go-go dancers, plus an outdoor dance floor and bar, too! We’ll see your glowing faces on Friday, October 16 from 8 p.m.2 a.m. at the RC Saloon (Rainbow Cactus) at 15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. See ad on p. 14

Rainbows Festival

Celebrate the diversity of the Phoenix LGBTQ community! Join 25,000 friends, families and allies for the 2nd largest LGBTQ event in Arizona, thanks to Phoenix Pride. Entertainment, exhibitors, food and more! Saturday & Sunday, October 1718 at Heritage Square in downtown Phoenix, near 7th St. & Monroe. See ad on pp. 28-29

AIDS Walk Phoenix & Tucson

You can make a difference in your community when you participate in AIDS Walk Phoenix or Tucson! Join a team, raise money and start walking!

Tucson: Sunday, October 11 Phoenix: Sunday, October 25. Visit AIDSwalkAZ. org to sign up today.

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Charlie’s 31st Anniversary

Yee-haw! Charlie’s is celebrating their birthday! Head on down to that lil’ bitty ol’ pissant country place on Saturday, November 3 and grab yourself some White Lightning and Branch Water for only 1¢ a glass from 8-10 p.m. Remember: tip your bartender appropriately, pardner! 727 E. Camelback Rd. See ad back cover

#KirbyGirls

Nationally recognized (and–ahem!–coincidentally ION Arizona’s star photographer) Scotty Kirby presents a benefit show and the ultimate drag photography experience. See previous and new work with dazzling performances and more on First Friday, November 6 starting at 9 p.m. at Club Palazzo, 710 N. Central Ave. in Phoenix. Tickets at KirbyGirls.Eventbrite.com See ad on p. 21

OCTOBER 2015 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE

EVENT

LOCATION

CITY

Tues & Sat Karaoke RC Saloon Phoenix Fri Kenny Thames Happy Hour Cruisn’ 7th Phoenix Every 2nd Sat. Talent Show RC Saloon Phoenix Sat Wild Men of the West Karamba Phoenix 11 Tucson AIDS Walk downtown Tucso 9-10 FEZtacular 10th Anniversary FEZ Phoenix 10 EQAZ Gala Chateau Luxe Phoenix 10 Imperial Court “Sister Act” The Rock Phoenix 14 Disco & Anniversary Party Karamba Phoenix 16 Neon Rainbow Party RC Saloon Phoenix 16 Gear Up Leather Event FLEX Spas Phoenix 16-17 Cocktoberfest Dick’s Cabaret Phoenix 17 Masked Underwear Party FLEX Spas Phoenix 17 IBT’s Tucson Pride Party IBT’s Tucson 16-11/8 AZ State Fair AZ Fairgrounds Phoenix 17-18 Rainbows Festival Heritage Square Phoenix 18 Adal Ramones Party Karamba Phoenix 19 NOHO Happy Hour BS West Scottsdale 22 Madonna After-Party Karamba Phoenix 24 Blue Comedy Show Cruisin’ 7th Phoenix 23 Bianca del Rio Rialto Theatre Tucson 25 AIDS Walk Phoenix downtown Phx 29 Coppelia Ballet Symphony Hall Phoenix 31 SWAY Sins on 7th Bar Crawl 7th Ave. Phoenix

NOVEMBER

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Charlie’s 31st Anniversary #KirbyGirls Bearracuda

Charlie’s Club Palazzo The Rock

Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix

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ANNIVERSARY WEEK

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BLISS / REBAR

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NOHO HAPPY HOUR

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THE ROCK

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Fangirling with

Tyler Oakley YouTube weblebrity binges & purges about his new book and Phoenix appearance

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H

e talks about everything. Pancakes.

Twister. Tattoos. Chipotle. Imperfections.

Bullies. Being weird. You being you.

And Tyler Oakley being, well, Tyler Oakley.

If you’ve tuned into Tyler Oakley’s YouTube channel with its chipper, ukulele theme song, “Washing Line” scoring his videocasts, heard his trademark, cheery, adorably misarticulated sibilant “s” and infectious laughter, you probably love with the kid with the spectacles and the polychrome hair, bursting on you screen with an enthusiastic, “Well, hello, everyone!”

Now 27-years-old, Tyler’s first currently available video, “Raindrops” debuted in October, 2007 when he started college.

Since then it’s received over 300,000 views.

Tyler Oakley just may take over the civilized world. He’s produced over 370 videos for YouTube which have garnered over 500 million views, with 7 million subscribers to his channel. He’s got 2.7 million followers on Twitter and Facebook and 2.1 million on Instagram. Don’t forget about his podcasts, Vines and Snapchats.

He’s even got his own “Jams” and “Chill” playlists on Spotify. Tyler recently cohosted the Streamy Awards on VH1 honoring the best in online video and the pioneers and creators.

An LGBT rights activist and voice for civil rights, Tyler has raised one million dollars for the Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, toll free confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth. He’s interviewed Michelle Obama, met the POTUS and–get this–he appeared on Ellen!

Tyler’s latest campaign is “Dare To Be You,” encouraging everyone to develop and celebrate their individuality. Be your best “you.”

When ION Arizona had a chance to chat with Tyler, well, we gasped. You bet! As Tyler says, “Gasping is how gay people communicate, basically.” You might gasp a little bit, too, when you see what our America’s selfproclaimed favorite “fangirl” has to say.

ION: Was it challenging writing a book vs. making your YouTube videos? Was writing a book at all difficult?

Tyler Oakley: I think at the end of the day, we YouTubers are all storytellers. This just happens to be a different medium. I’ve always enjoyed writing, but actually forcing myself to meet deadlines was definitely challenging. And a lot goes into a book–not just the writing–but every little detail of the product and the launch. It’s consuming, but so rewarding. Regardless of the challenge, it felt right to finally get out so many stories I’ve had bottled up for decades.

ION: What would you like for readers to take away from your book, Binge?

Tyler: Life is about testing your boundaries, indulging in everything life has to offer, learning as you go. I messed up plenty of times, and they [the readers] can too–as long as we learn and grow in the process. To binge isn’t always a bad thing.

ION: Name one thing a person should do to make their life–or other lives–and the world a better place?

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do you do when you’re all alone?

organization or club at school – anything you can do to support the community is one step toward improving society.

Try and use whatever platform you have to be a voice for your community.

One follow or a million, you’re still making an impact that can change the world.

Tyler: We all need to “unplug” sometimes.

My ideal lazy day is sweatpants, take-out food, and bingewatching a season of a new TV show. Or Disneyland!

ION: What’s the best part of being Tyler Oakley?

Tyler: Probably being able to use my platform to do good and be a voice for youth–having a positive impact on them.

ION: Name just one vice that you have.

ION: Was there a watershed experience or particular moment when you felt like, “Wow! I’m Tyler Oakley!”?

Tyler: I can’t resist an airport massage kiosk. I’ll always try to squeeze a massage in before a flight.

Tyler: Not sure if I shed a tear during this moment, but I remember once when I was in college, I was at a football game in the Michigan State University stadium and found out I had more subscribers than could fit in the entire stadium! I knew then that this was bigger than a hobby.

ION: It feels like with Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and other social media outlets, we know everything about you. Can you tell our readers anything about yourself that might surprise them?

ION: You’re always so upbeat and cheerful. Do you ever have a bad day?

What do you do when you’re feeling low?

Tyler: I try to be, but of course we all have our bad days! I just try to surround myself with good, positive supportive people who are trying to make the world better. There’s this quote that I always remember when I’m feeling down or negative: “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” so I try to surround myself with people who make me better.

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Tyler: Pick up my book! It’s available for preorder now! You’ll find lots of untold stories there.

ION: So much of your growing up & becoming a young adult is videodocumented on YouTube. Do you ever go back and watch many of your early videos? What do you think of them? Do you ever have a change of heart and delete many of them?

Tyler: I think all YouTubers go back to see what they made years back and they all probably thought the same thing I did: “What was I thinking?” I don’t delete any videos, but I did private my very first video. Maybe someday I’ll let people see that one ...

ION: You’ll always be youthful! What will we see Tyler Oakley doing in the next 10 to 20 years?

Tyler: If world domination hasn’t happened within the 20 years, maybe a talk show? The world is my oyster.

If you couldn’t tell by the shameless plug in the Q&A, Tyler Oakley’s first book, BINGE! a collection of personal, hilarious essays is available for pre-order. But wait! You can get your very own copy on Tuesday, October 27 at 6 p.m. at Changing Hands Bookstore, 6428 S. McClintock Dr. in Tempe. This event is sold out, but you might get to see Tyler and get a free smile!

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y n n Jo h a m p c u a e B

Stonewall star starts a riot!

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T

he controversial feature film Stonewall released last month, a fictionalized account of the very real 1969 riots stars Jonny Beauchamp as trans hustler Ray ... or Ramona ... “depending on the hour.”

The riots, in fact, occurred after the death of troubled entertainer Judy Garland. Ray speculates, “Judy’s supposed to be tragic. It’s part of her beauty. In The Wizard of Oz she’s just like us ... a girl lost in a world that don’t understand her.”

Ray is a dreamer.

He’s got hope. And he’s willing to fight to be heard.

26 years old, Beauchamp attended Professional Performing Arts School–the “Fame” school–when his mother recognized his talent.

“My mother is an amazing woman,” Jonny says. “I am who I am today because of my mother; she’s always accepted me, always pushed for me, and taught me to love people: that’s what we have in this world; we have each other. We need to spend less time bothering each other and more time realizing that we’re all just the same.”

Beauchamp hit TV screens with Showtime’s gothic series Penny Dreadful as the delicious trans prostitute “Angelique.”

Jonny spoke with ION Arizona about his groundbreaking roles and his motivation.

And playing ping pong–in a corset.

ION: Tell us about your relationship with “Angelique.”

Jonny Beauchamp: I adore her!

Who doesn’t adore her?

ION: Sadly, she met a rather bad end.

JB: I know, but I don’t think anyone really meets a good end on Penny Dreadful. It’s kind of the nature of the show. Nothing nice happens to anyone.

Personally, I’m glad Angelique’s untimely end was not because she was trans, but because she knew too much. I think we’re all pretty sick and tired of seeing trans people murdered because they’re trans. We’ve done that, seen that and it’s time to move on.

ION: So, how’s your ping pong game?

JB: (Laughs) I’d come to the set a couple times a week just to wear the corset so I could learn how to move naturally. I’ve done a lot work with my body and physically because I’m, you know, a boy–I didn’t want to perform Angelique’s “girl-ness,” I wanted to embody her femaleness. In my body I’m very physical–maybe overly physical–she’s not. She’s very soft.

I had to go to a few ping pong lessons; they brought in a really great coach for [co-star] Reeve (Carney, as Dorian Gray) and me. It was so much fun! Now I’m a really big fan of ping pong.

ION: Consider yourself to be a storyteller, open to all experiences. What kind rate highest?

JB: One of the amazing things as an actor is that you can travel so far outside of yourself to communicate. It’s important to have a love for people and how people work. My favorite roles are the ones that are furthest from me.

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for yourself. What kind of awareness and visibility that brings. my reach, but I found a lot of myself in them.

The main thing that really shouts at me is how brave they are. Here I am, in 2015, being myself. They were being themselves whole-heartedly in a time and place when that was not in vogue or accepted. They had no outreach, no support. They were on their own playing the game of survival economics on a daily basis. We don’t really live in a world today that’s very different. In some parts of this world we do have more trans visibility, outreach and acceptance– but it’s hardly equal. That’s very much on the frontier, very much an issue that we all need to address–socially, politically and artistically.

ION: Has portraying these genderbending characters affected your own life?

JB: Both of these amazing characters have taught me the ‘Power of One.’ Pearl Bailey said some thing that stuck with me: “Everybody wants to do something to help, but nobody wants to be first.” If I take anything from these characters–and I hope if anyone takes anything away–it’s the Power of One. You, standing up–one person–standing up for someone. Or one person saying, “This is who I am.” It may not change the world, but like water, it’s a ripple effect: it will slowly get bigger and bigger, making it easier. It’s infectious.

How change and standing up for what you believe in and what’s right does catch fire.

I hope that people watching this film, specifically kids in their teens, can see that the Power of One is vast. You can make a change, you can make a difference.

Whether it’s standing up for someone whose being preyed upon or taking a stand

ION: The Stonewall Rebellion happened almost 50 years ago.

How did making a movie about the riots affect you as a gay man?

JB: I have no hang-ups being gay or being called queer or trans. I’ve always been fascinated with Stonewall, and why it’s not a part of our education. I want to do work that creates dialog and have some political or social impact; that’s my goal and where I’m challenged the most.

Being part of Stonewall as my first film was the most electric experience of my life. I’ve never had a job where I was so close to everyone I worked with. That’s the cherry on top of the amazingness of being part of this film.

ION: How did you prepare to play Ray? Were there trans people you used as a model?

JB: Absolutely. I grew up here [New York.]

I have a lot of trans friends. I spoke to a lot of women about the trans community just to try to get it right. What are their hopes?

What are their dreams? I wanted to get the vocabulary for it. The person who kept coming up was Sylvia Rivera; I think it helped me in my audition. I was so taken aback by how radical she was and how forceful and demanding she was about acceptance and visibility. It was really just her and Marsha P. Johnson for a long time. They were the loudest. They had outreach programs that they created from the ground up out of nothing! Just two sticks they rubbed together! How sad that the social climate was working against them and not with them. It’s appalling.

From an acting place, I come to things through music. When I got this role the first thing I did was research the Stonewall jukebox. I got every song. It gave me a deeper connection with Ray, specifically with the girl groups of the 60s, like the Marvelettes. The Shagri-las were a bit

tougher, The Supremes were sultry, The Chiffons were really fun and exciting.

Music is what really helps me get to my emotional place, to feel the vibe. To get “the walk” down–what’s playing inside Ray’s head.

ION: Stonewall was completed before you were cast to star in Penny Dreadful. Was there any kind of “artistic schizophrenia,” migrating from the role of a 20th century trans-hustler to a 19th century trans prostitute?

JB: I don’t think I would’ve even been considered for Penny Dreadful if I hadn’t already done Stonewall. It was kind of abrupt, but I had laid Ray to rest and able to jump into Angelique. I was really tickled to play a trans person in Victorian England.

Having a production team like those at Showtime saying that these people

existed and walked with dignity, pride and grace was so humbling.

ION: Is there more Ray in you, or Angelique?

JB: I’d have to say Ray because I’m a New York City kid and I’m Puerto Rican, and that was very much part of Ray. Angelique was amazing, but she’s British and a lot more graceful than I am.

ION: What would Ray say to today’s LGBTQ population?

JB: Love each other! Stop separating! We are all one and we are all in this together!

She says that to the LGBTQ community and to the heterosexual community because to her there is no big difference.

Look for Jonny Beauchamp starring in the forthcoming movie, Thirsty, a musical biopic about Scott Townsend, drag queen and Cher impersonator Thirsty Burlington.

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Bianca Del Rio “Not today, Satan. Not today.” Catch the acid-tongued winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race for a hilarious of evening of trash talking and laughs with her famous “Rolodex of Hate Comedy Special” on Friday, October 23 at 8 p.m. at the fabulous Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. in Tucson.

Meet and Greet tickets available! Call 520-740-1000 or go to RialtoTheatre.com for tickets.

OCTOBER 2015 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME Sat 10 7:00pm Wed 14 Thurs 15 Fri 16 9:00pm Sat 17 2:00pm Sun 18 6:00pm Fri 23 8:00pm Sat 24 10:00pm Sat 24 9:00pm Wed 28 10:00pm 11/6 9:00pm Mondays 9:30pm Mondays 10:00pm Tuesday 10:00pm Tuesdays 9:00pm Wednesdays 9:00pm Wednesdays 9:00pm Wednesdays 9:00pm Wednesdays 10:30pm Wednesdays 10:00pm Thursdays 10:30pm Thursdays 9:00pm Thursdays 9:00pm Fridays 10:30pn Fridays 10:30 Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 10:00pm 2nd Saturday 9:30pm 3rd Saturday Saturdays 9:00pm Saturdays 10:30pm Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 9:30pm Sundays 8:30pm Sundays 10:30pm 4th Sunday 2:00pm

LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) The Rock Sister Act: A Love Revival Karamba Karamba Girls 3rd Anniversary with Adriana & Karime Karamba Shakira Tribute hosted by Ruby The Rock The Witches Ball Twisted Peacock The Lunch Special with Kira Daniels & Saellah V. Stacy’s Madonna vs. Janet with Barbra Seville Rialto Theatre Bianca Del Rio’s Rolodex of Hate Charlie’s Phx Pussy LeHoot’s Witches Ball BS West “Carnage” hosted by Pandora Boxx Charlie’s Heaven & Hell with Nevaeh CLub Palazzo #KIRBYGIRLS - The Ultimate Drag Photography Experience Kobalt Drag Bingo Charlie’s Claudia B Hosts Nearly Nekkid Men Karamba Savannah Moussier’s Show BS West Stars Choice Talent Showcase IBT’s Viva La DIVA Cruisin’ 7th Your Time to Shine with Kira Daniels & Saellah V Kobalt Garden Variety Revue with Olivia Gardens Karamba Karamba Girls - Adriana Galiano & Karime Lizaldi Charlie’s Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Cruisin’ 7th Drag Show Bingo with Aimee V. Justice Twisted Peacock Throwback Thursdays with Celia Putty and Coco St. James Cruisin’ 7th Nikki at Night with Nikki Knowles The Rock Special Event Rotating Drag Shows Plazma Freaky Fridays with Celia Putty IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers OZ Classy Corona & The Go Go Boys Kobalt Celia Putty RC Saloon Nikki Star’s Cactus Angels IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Karamba Diamond’s Show Cruisin’ 7th “Big Sunday” with Big Booty Judy October 2015 WWW.IONAZ.COM 53

All Puppet Players Spew Forth!

Photos by Kristin McNamara

A

ll Puppet Players will be kicking off the season (if they had feet, that is) at the Playhouse on the Park at The Central Arts Plaza with “The Exorcist Has No Legs.” Celebrate Halloween by seeing this version of American Film Institute’s #3 most thrilling movie ever!

And what better way to pay homage to this epic tale of horror than watching a possessed puppet with a foul mouth rotating its head while spewing Silly String? Clutch your crucifix and witness the legendary Good vs. Evil grudge match with yarn, felt and fun fur.

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This irreverent puppet show is bound to help you exorcise your own demons.

Will Regan be saved by the feltfanatical priests? Will the audience get covered in ectoplasm? Does the power of puppets compel you? Find out when the All Puppet Players present one of their funniest shows, based on the scariest movie ever made. “Mirabile dictu, don’t you agree?”

WARNING! All Puppet Players shows are for mature audiences with immature tastes (although tasting is not recommended due to a risk of fur balls). These shows contain some

pretty adult language that you usually hear on elementary school playgrounds, and some grown-up situations. Puppets can be unpredictable, so if you’re sensitive or easily offended–puppets don’t care. Children of any kind are not permitted, with the exception of our Holiday spectacular, “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.”

NOTICE: For all other performances, unsanctioned children will be confiscated and placed in cages for the duration of the performance. Parents may claim them (with proof of ownership) after the show. Fines may apply.

All Puppet Players are a criticallyheralded theatre troupe whose sole purpose is to create quirky and innovative

stage shows using puppetry to demolish the “typical” theatre experience and add a bit of anarchy to every stage on which they perform. The company has garnered numerous awards and recognitions for their productions and live events.

Performances of “The Exorcist Has No Legs!” are October 9-30, at Playhouse on the Park in Viad Tower of the Central Arts Plaza at 1850 N. Central Avenue, Phoenix, on the corner of Palm Lane.

To convert your real, American money into tickets call 602-2542151 or for more information, visit AllPuppetPlayers.com

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The Exorcist Has No Legs!

Witness the epic horror that terrified audiences on the screen when it comes to the stage ... told entirely by puppets. Will Good triumph over Evil in the tale told in felt? Don’t miss this hilarious send up by the All Puppet Players inaugurating their 6th season! The terror unfolds October 9-30 at Playhouse on the Park at the Central Arts Plaza on Palm Lane & Central Avenue in Phoenix. Note: These shows ain’t suitable for kids. For tix and more call 602-264-2151 or visit AllPuppetPlayers.com

The Book of Mormon Learn about the good news from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in this wacky musical about two Mormon missionaries sent to war torn Uganda. With only their scripture to save them, guess how salvation goes? Catch this hit October 20-November 8 at ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest Ave. in Tempe. For tix go to ASUGammage.com or call 480-965-3434

Sex with Strangers A comedy about people finding love in the age of social media. A snowstorm traps two beautiful strangers in a secluded cabin. Chemistry is undeniable, then guess what happens? A one-night stand gets complicated! Don’t miss this Stray Cat Theatre production with the Arizona Theatre Company, now thru October 11 at the Herberger Theatre Center, 222 E. Monroe St. in Phoenix.

OCTOBER 2015 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT COMPANY 2-4 Dave Coulier Tempe Improv thru 4 Chicago Phoenix Theatre 9-30 The Exorcist Has No Legs!

All Puppet Players thru 10 Something’s Afoot Hale Centre Theatre thru 11 Sex with Strangers Stray Cat & AZ Theatre Co. 15-11/28 Mary Poppins Hale Centre Theatre 16 The Spoken World Series Mesa Arts Center 16-31 The Merry Wives of Windsor SW Shakespeare Co. 17 Margaret Cho Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts thru 20 Lucky Stiff AZ B’way Theatre 20-11/8 The Book of Mormon ASU Gammage 22-25 MTV’s Andrew Schulz & Jamie Lee Tempe Improv 22-25 Jay Mohr StandUp Live - Phx 24-27 Menopause! The Musical AZ B’way Theatre 30-11/22 The Toxic Avenger Phoenix Theatre November 7 Alan Cumming Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 7 Monster Nearly Naked Theatre

PHONE 480-921-9877 602-254-2151 602-254-2151 480-497-1181 602-265-9665 480-497-1181 480-644-6500 480-644-6500 480-499-8587 623-776-8400 480-965-3434 480-921-9877 480-719-6100 623-776-8400 602-254-2151 480-499-8587 602-254-2151

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Tony Bennett The 89-year-old crooner has had hits every decade since the 1950s.

He’s performed on MTV and is hipster approved. You haven’t lived ‘til you heard him sing, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” Lady Gaga loves him. Is that good enough for you? See him on Friday, October 9 at UofA’s Centennial Hall, 1020 E. University Blvd. in Tucson.

For tix call 520-621-3341 or go to UApresents.org

Florence + the Machine She sure has a set of lungs on her! The dog days are over, and now you’ll see “How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful” on Tuesday, October 13 at the Ak-Chin Pavilion, 2121 N. 83rd Ave. For tickets visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000

Janet Jackson Her first name ain’t, “Baby.” It’s “Janet.” (“Miss Jackson” if you’re nasty. But you knew that.) She’s still in control, and on Monday, October 19 she’s bringing her “Unbreakable World Tour” to the Comerica Theatre, 401 W. Washington St. call 800-745-3000 or go to TicketMaster.com. Will we see a wardrobe malfunction?

Madonna Bitch, she’s Madonna. Ever heard of her? She’ll be at the Gila River Arena, 9400 W. Maryland Ave. in Glendale. If you don’t have a ticket call 800-745-3000 or check out Ticketmaster.com

OCTOBER 2015 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE 2 5 6 6 8 9 9 12 13 19 21 22 22 25 25 27 27 31

ARTIST Rascal Flatts & others Counting Crows & more Mavis Staples & Joan Osborne The Mavericks Mavis Staples & Joan Osborne Julieta Venegas Tony Bennett Father John Misty Florence & the Machine Janet Jackson Blues Traveler Madonna Korn Music of Star Wars Sufjan Stevens Jackson Brown & others Marilyn Manson Santana

LOCATION Ak-Chin Pavilion Comerica Theatre Musical Instrument Museum - Phx Rialto Theatre - Tucson Rialto Theatre Rialto Theatre - Tucson Centennial Hall - Tucson Rialto Theatre - Tucson Ak-Chin Pavilion Comerica Theatre Livewire - Scottsdale Gila River Arena - Glendale Marquee Theatre - Tempe Phx Symphony Orpheum Theatre - Phx Tucson Music Hall Rialto Theatre - Tucson Casino del Sol - Tucson

PHONE 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 480-478-6000 520-740-1000 520-740-1000 520-740-1000 520-621-3341 520-740-1000 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 480-970-1112 800-745-3000 480-839-0707 602-495-1999 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 520-740-1000 800-344-9435

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eet me at the fair! The Arizona State Fair is one of the top five fairs in the nation! And it ain’t all Whack-A-Mole, livestock or award-winning pies. Catch some of the best in music entertainment in the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum. Admission is free with fair entrance, but reserved seating is available through ETIX.com The fair runs from October 16-November 8, open Wednedays through Sundays. Take advantage of the great deals and discounts with season passes, Unlimited Ride wristbands, get your tickets early and find out all sorts of other great information‑like where to park and stuff‑at AZStateFair.com.

Now, get some food-on-a-stick and get ready to jam!

Sheryl Crow A nine-time Grammy winner, whenever Sheryl Crow sings, “All I Wanna Do (Is Have Some Fun)” you’ll want to stay up ‘til the sun comes up. It’s nearly impossible to count how many number one hit’s she’s had, and on how many different charts. “If It Makes You Happy” you’ll catch her on Thursday, October 22.

Austin Mahone This adorable kid’s only 17-years-old, but he’s poised for stardom, winning the MTV Video Award for “Artist to Watch.” His song, “What About Love?” has over 40 million views on YouTube. Are you a “Mahomie” fan? Join in the fun and swoon with all his Tween fans on Saturday, October 24.

Flo Rida The stunning success of this rapper is all thanks to his positive attitude, following his dream and music. He’s established himself with chart topping block busters like “Low (feat. T-Pain)” and most recently with “Good Feeling” and “Wild Ones (feat Sia.)” Get low with Flo on Friday, October 30.

ARIZONA STATE FAIR CONCERT CALENDAR All shows are at 7 p.m. unless otherwise designated.

10/17 Bret Michaels

10/23 Gary Allan

10/29 Jane’s Addiction

10/18 Meat Loaf

10/24 Austin Mahone

10/30 Flo Rida

10/21 Rick Springfield

10/25 Jack & Jack (5 p.m.)

10/31 Third Day

10/22 Sheryl Crow

10/28 Jackson Browne

11/1 Natalia Jimenez October 2015 WWW.IONAZ.COM 61

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Aural Fixation

by Peter Lora pintelonegro@gmail.com

Lana Del Rey Honeymoon After Lana Del Rey’s last outing, 2013’s Ultraviolence, it was clear that she had become pigeonholed into the aesthetic that propelled her from aspiring songwriter to full-fledged pop star. Known for sweeping, melodramatic ballads, it seemed that Del Rey had met her full potential with three aesthetically consistent albums; each one less commercially viable or interesting than its predecessor.

It must’ve become clear to Del Rey that resting on her melancholy laurels would be a mistake. With Honeymoon, Del Rey revitalizes her perspective with new, interesting orchestrations which breathe new life and even fun into Del Rey’s vintage style of delivery and morose content.

Del Rey continues with her signature plays on words: “Art Deco” becomes, “You’re so Ghetto.” Honeymoon is distinctively set in California, “Music To Watch Boys To” and “High By The Beach” are breezy and sexy.

It all ends with a haunting cover of “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood.” I believe her when she sings, “I’m just a soul whose intentions are good.” Available now

The Weeknd

Beauty Behind The Madness The Weeknd, a.k.a. Abel Tesfaye, is undoubtedly the breakout star of 2015. The underground unknown surfaced with appearances on songs by Sia and Ariana Grand before his hit single “Earned It” from the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack. When “Can’t Feel My Face” was performed at the VMA’s it solidified his commercial potential.

This album puts Tesfaye on a clear path for stardom. Brilliant production frames his signature tender delivery; think Babyface meets Kanye West. This album fills the holes of the 90s revival. “In the Night” is pure Michael Jackson disco. “Angel” is a pure Celine Dion power ballad and “Losers” is Jay-Z. There are unlikely duets, like “Prisoner” with Lana Del Rey and “Dark Times” with Ed Sheeran. The Weeknd is more than “Can’t Feel My Face” and Beauty Behind The Madness proves it. Available now

a-ha Hunting High and Low: Super Deluxe 30th Anniversary Edition To say that music videos were in their experimental phase in the 80s is an understatement. “Take On Me” by Norway’s biggest musical export, the trio a-ha, stands out as one of the most iconic music videos.

Ever. a-ha is celebrating the 30th anniversary of their chart topping album Hunting High and Low with a Super Deluxe Edition package filled with five discs of exclusive, neverbefore-released demos, mixes, b-sides, the innovative music videos, plus an 10” x 10” 60-page booklet with liner notes of memorabilia. Have your own “a-ha” moment with this still-hot piece of 80s nostalgia in one monster package. Available now Disclosure

THE DL SONGS TO DOWNLOAD

ARTIST - “SONG” Ryan Adams “Blank Space” The Arcs “Stay In My Corner” Disclosure “Jaded” Sam Sparro “Hands Up” Børns “Fool” Beach House “PPP” JoJo “When Love Hurts” Naughty Boy “Runnin’” feat. Beyoncé, Arrow Benjamin ODESZA “Light” feat. Little Dragon Jess Glynne – “Ain’t Got Far To Go” October 2015 WWW.IONAZ.COM 63

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ionazeditor@me.com

The Last Man on Earth (season 1) Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Schaal, January Jones This was originally slated as a feature length comedy inspired from the not exactly cheery History Channel series, “Life After People” showing what happens on a postapocalyptic Earth after humans screwed everything up.

Eventually shopped as a TV comedy series, surprisingly FOX bit, promising to keep it intact.

The plot: After a vaguely mentioned virus wipes out the Earth’s population, Phil Miller (SNL alum Will Forte) travels the United States, looting museums, the White House and looking for survivors. He tags signs on the highways reading, “Alive in Tucson!” before settling in the Old Pueblo in a McMansion, swimming in a margarita pool and setting stuff on fire. And waiting.

For anything.

He discovers endlessly perky, “Type A” personality plague survivor Carol Pilbasian (Schaal, Flight of the Conchords). Phil grudgingly agrees to marry Carol to repopulate the Earth–only to meet the gorgeous Melissa Shart (Jones, Mad Men’s bitchy “Betty Draper”) survived, too, following Phil’s signs to Tucson. She’s single and horny.

Tucson vs.

Toddler maybe needed the entire world to end in order for him to become his best self.”

Tucson residents will love the location shots. (The ones that aren’t shot in Hollywood.)

Thought provoking, sly, sophisticated and understated. The intelligent (still funny) script will probably sink this very “meta” show.

Available now. 2-discs, SRP $14.99 ★★★★★

Lyle (2014) Starring: Gaby Hoffman, Ingrid Jungermann Leah (Hoffman) and June (Jungermann)–who just happen to be lesbians– have a little girl, Lyle, (which is an odd name for a girl, if you ask me) and they’re expecting another baby girl. (How Leah gets pregnant, we have no idea.) They freak out when they get a killer brownstone in New York.

“Killer” is the operative word. Little Lyle dies in a freak accident. Leah really freaks out when she discovers other babies have died in the same freaky building. A mysterious, freakish chain-smoking model lives upstairs.

Things get even freakier when Leah figures out there’s a satanic cult behind all this and her partner made a pact with the Devil.

Super freaky, yeow!

A very poor rip-off of Roman Polanski’s psychologically terrifying Rosemary’s Baby (1968). It gets one star for Rebecca Street, who plays a daffy (and, yes, a little bit freaky) 60-year-old neighbor who likes to pretend she’s pregnant. 65 not-sofreaky minutes of dull, plodding filmmaking.

Available now MSRP $21.99

Writer Phil Lord describes Phil as, “A person ★☆☆☆☆ who is very flawed, and a person who

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Addicted to Fresno

Starring: Natasha Lyonne, Judy Greer, Aubrey Plaza Shannon (Greer, Ant-Man, Arrested Development) is fresh out of sex rehab when her optimistic lesbian sister Martha (Lyonne, Orange is the New Black) lands her a job as a hotel maid in glamorous Fresno, California.

Shannon’s fresh start is jeopardized when she accidentally kills a hotel guest in a postrehab relapse. Martha helps her cover up this little “mistake.”

Death, blackmail, robbery, dildos, sex offenders, dykes ... who could ask for anything more?

Some critics call the raunchy dark comedy “a meanspirited farce,” while others call it “frickin’ hilarious.”

Limited release: October 2

Pan

Starring Hugh Jackman, Amanda Seyfried, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara Based on the classic J.M. Barrie story of the boy who refused to grow up, this fantastical tale with a twist is all about “frenemies.”

Who do you trust? Blackbeard, (Jackman, Wolverine), pre-pirate Hook (Hedlund, Troy) and Tiger Lily (Mara, Her. The freshly realized character is “whitewashed” and no longer an American Indian) pow-wow in a

Muffs & Magic breathtaking Neverland with the an orphan (Miller) who becomes Peter Pan. This eagerly awaited (and long post-poned) 3-D picture promises Harry Potter (also produced by Warner Bros.) caliber special effects. Do you believe in Tinkerbell? Clap your hands!

Opens October 9

Freeheld

Starring Julianne Moore, Ellen Page, Steve Carrell, Michael Shannon We’re not trying to lecture you here, but you know all the endless talk about marriage equality you’ve been hearing about for years and the recent SCOTUS decision upholding same-sex marriage? This drama proves why it’s so important. This drama is about police detective Laurel Hester’s (Moore, Still Alice) fight against the Ocean County, New Jersey Board of Chosen Freeholders who denied the transfer of her pension benefits to her domestic partner, Stacie Andree (Page, Juno), after Hester was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in 2005.

Moore’s catalog includes a surprising amount of costarring roles in gay and lesbian themed pictures A Single Man (2009), and Far From Heaven (2002) and The Hours (1995). Okay, that’s only three movies.

But that’s more than most other actresses, right? Moore starred as a full-on, serious lesbian in the award-winning The Kids Are Alright. (2010), too.

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Founding FEZ. Seeking Bliss.

W

ith Bliss ReBAR celebrating it’s 5th anniversary last month and FEZ celebrating it’s 10th anniversary this month, co-owner Mark Howard chatted about what makes these bastions of the community–and him–tick.

A variety of factors contribute to the restaurants’ success.

“We have amazing, loyal patrons. Incredible, caring staff,” Mark says. “We’re lucky to have thoughtful, intelligent, & creative business partners–Tom Jetland and Mark Dillon at FEZ; Jackson and Kevin Kelly at Bliss ReBAR.” Mark doesn’t have far to look for inspiration.

“Community has always been the centerpiece,” Mark believes. “You can’t succeed unless you help the community at large–and specifically the LGBT community– succeed. We are blessed to have given back over $450,000 back from all of our sister stores combined, including Switch, Pizza People & Corduroy.” Fundraisers like the popular Barbra Seville’s Drag Brunch help raise money for AIDS Walk Phoenix.

A conversation with AZ native Mark Howard In a competitive industry, Mark, his partners and staff have the magic touch. FEZ along with Bliss ReBAR are vital parts of the still growing Downtown Phoenix scene. The secret?

“We keep it fresh, fun and relevant,” Mark says.

“Being consistent is key while listening to your patrons (and your gut) to create experiences and spaces that engage people.”

You can go to school for business marketing, sure. Real success comes down to “people skills.” Mark’s genuine enthusiasm and warmth show.

“I love engaging with the community.

When people speak up, things get better, people donate resources and everything gets stronger. But the real secret? “I’m not afraid to open my mouth,” Mark laughs.How well does Mark Howard know his way around a kitchen? Does he cook?

“Hell, no. I mean, why would I? I have great restaurants and Rocco, my partner,” he laughs.

“Actually I cook one thing really well: Cheez-its Chicken. Message me for the recipe!”

If you haven’t already discovered what makes Bliss ReBAR and FEZ so popular, now’s the perfect time! If you’re already part of their “family,” Mark, his partners and their staff look forward to seeing you there again soon!

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7th Ave. & Missouri / 602.973.1238 / hanajapaneseeatery.com

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Adventures on 4th

The Kitchen & IBT’s Bar + Food

E

very city has their go-tos. If you want hot dogs in Los Angeles, you go to Pink’s. If you want a Rueben in New York City, you go to the Carnegie Deli. If you want to visit a gay bar in Tucson, you go to IBT’s. They’ve been a Tucson staple for years. They’ve kept things fresh and energetic along Fourth Avenue with their famous drag shows, dance nights, and now––a full kitchen and menu for brunch, lunch, dinner, and late night, too. Quite simply, it’s called “The Kitchen“ and now IBT‘s has expanded to “IBT‘s Bar + Food“.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a bar acquires a deep fryer (or worse yet: a microwave oven) and suddenly they’re a restaurant, too! They’ve got whatever you want, as long as it’s found in the freezer, and can be reheated in boiling oil. This isn’t the case at IBT’s; they’re offering up plenty of non-fried options with almost everything made from scratch, including their house-made sauces and salsas.

When owner Mike Kramowski developed the menu, he made a point to avoid the typical idea of frozen and fried “bar food” almost completely.

Our first experience with The Kitchen and IBT’s Bar + Food was for weekend brunch. Having enjoyed the previous evening thoroughly, we brought a little bit of a hangover with us–along with a huge appetite.

bacon, Oaxaca cheese and avocado. Their house-made salsa comes on the side, and we loved it so much we had to ask for extra.

Our favorite brunch item (even though it’s on the regular menu) had to be the Breakfast Burger and Fries ($8.50). A cooked-to-order ground beef patty that’s topped with hash browns, bacon, melted Cheddar cheese, spicy mayonnaise, and best of all, an overmedium egg inside a toasted brioche bun.

Careful! This one can get a little messy.

Messy, but worth it.

When we ordered Carne Asada Fries ($8 for a really generous serving), our server Bristol regaled us with some hilarious latenight stories of college town bar-street debauchery. It’s no wonder after a long night of partying that this item is what people come for. The crispy french fries are covered in a generous helping of marinated steak, and then drizzled with crema and avocado crema, sprinkled with pico de gallo salsa and Cotija cheese. It’s Heaven on a plate. This is an absolute “must,” – especially if you find yourself on Fourth Avenue around closing time.

Our next visit to at IBT’s Bar + Food was for Happy Hour, so we decided to try the wings.

They offer Buffalo style, BBQ, Teriyaki, or Crispy Fried. We wanted to

First we sampled the Breakfast Tacos ($6). Soft corn tortillas are filled with scrambled eggs, chopped October 2015 WWW.IONAZ.COM 73

sample the different sauces, so we went with the Crispy Fried. They’re perfectly prepared: big, hot, crispy and juicy. Our favorite sauce was the traditional Buffalo style lending the perfect amount of heat.

We must have been in a New York state of mind that day, because we also sampled the Buffalo Burger, ($8.50) topped with Buffalo sauce, melted bleu cheese and a cool, fresh carrot and celery slaw.

The Kitchen and IBT’s Bar + Food offers a

variety of tacos. They have Carne Asada, Pork Carnitas, Chicken Achiote, Shrimp, and Baja Shrimp ($7.50-$8.50). We had two clear favorites: the Pork Carnitas comes with braised pork, avocado and tomatillo salsa and pickled red onions on a soft corn tortilla, and the Baja Shrimp comes with fried, panko crusted shrimp, chopped cabbage, pico de gallo, crema, and spicy crema on a flour tortilla. We appreciated the care and love that went into these tacos. With everything being made from scratch in-house plus all the different sauces, we imagine the IBT’s ‘fridge must be stacked with crate’s full of fresh ingredients daily to produce all of them.

The menu is rounded out with a number of garden fresh salads, including the Spinach

Salad ($7.50) and Chicken Caprese ($10).

Sandwiches take simple ideas, such as Grilled Cheese ($7.50), and elevate it with bacon, avocado, Cheddar and Jack cheeses.

The Kitchen and IBT’s Bar + Food has vegan and vegetarian options as well, like the aptly named Vegan Sandwich, boasting roasted portobello mushroom, grilled eggplant, frilled zucchini, roasted salsa and hummus on pita bread for $8.50.

October is a great time to visit Tucson.

Lots of cool events are happening every weekend this month. AIDS Walk, Tucson Pride, the world famous Tucson Gem and

Mineral Show, Tucson Meet Yourself multicultural festival and more. We hear that the UofA Wildcats have a few football games scheduled, too. While you’re visiting the Old Pueblo–or if you live there–be sure to check out The Kitchen and IBT’s Bar + Food. Tell them ION sent you!

The Kitchen 628 N. 4th Ave Tucson, AZ Sunday - Thursday 11am-1am Friday Saturday 11am - 3am IBT’s Bar + Food 616 N. 4th Ave Tucson, AZ 7 Days a Week 12pm - 2am

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ION Weddings

The perfect wedding starts here!

CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN A TIME FOR CHOCOLATE (602) 628-0390 ATimeForChocolate.com EVENT PLANNING EVENTS BY DANIELLE

(602) 405-6832

FLORISTS PJ FLOWERS & EVENTS (602) 995-4999 7828 N. 19th Ave, #12, Phoenix GIFT REGISTRIES MACY’S BILTMORE (602) 468-2100 2410 E. Camelback Road, Phoenix MACY’S FASHION SQ. (480) 840-0333 7014 East Camelback Road, Scottsdale JEWELERS CORNELIS HOLLANDER (480) 423-5000 4151 N Marshall Way, Scottsdale DIAMOND JIM’S 6005 N 16th St, Phoenix (602) 466-1772 10001 W. Bell Rd, Sun City (602) 977-2299 HOTEL WYNDHAM GARDEN INN (602) 604-4906 3600 N. 2nd Ave, Phoenix PHOTOGRAPHERS SCOTTY KIRBY ScottyKirby.com

(480) 369-4529

FERNANDO HERNANDEZ (602) 622-4792 NightFuse.com FRANKLIN DIAZ

(602) 214-4019

PHOTO BOOTHS CRAZY SHOTZ CrazyShotz.com

(602) 487-7066

NO FUSS PHOTO BOOTH (480) 766-0349 NoFussPhotoBooths.com OFFICIANTS KEVIN BUSHAW (602) 369-6680 RICHARD STEVENS (602) 486-6996 TEMPEST DUJOUR tempestdujour@gmail.com TUXEDOS ROSE TUXEDO (602) 957-0089 4031 North 24th Street, Suite C, Phoenix, To have your business listed here, call Jack Tesorero at (602) 750-1164 October 2015 WWW.IONAZ.COM 79

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Starring Photos by Scotty Kirby Art by Kevin Bushaw Mens’ styling by Jacob Hamilton of Simon Stylez Hair and Makeup Male Models - Wild Men of the West Additional Costuming by Mardi Gras Costumes, Easley’s Fun Shop.

Miss Gay AZ America

Nevaeh McKenzie as

Evil Queen Frostine

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Coco St. James as

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Freddy Prinze Charming as

The Insatiable

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Diamond Dallas as

The Serial Sweetheart WMW Abel as

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Aimee V. Justice as

Cannibal Cotton Candy

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Trevor & Dylan

Wild Men of the West

as

Chocolate & Vanilla Swirl

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Halloween Parties Everywhere!

“Carnage” at BS West

This party is a killer! Don’t miss the biggest, baddest, bloodiest block party of them all! The legendary party of all Halloween parties happens on Saturday, October 24! Live stage entertainment, costume contest & frightful fun! RuPaul’s Drag Race hilarious veteran, Pandora Boxx hosts! VIP tickets and tables available now! 7125 E. 5th Ave. Visit BSwest.com for tix.

The Crypt, The Asylum & The Haunted Maze

One of Arizona’s longest running haunted houses, The Crypt, The Asylum and the Haunted Maze with all new bloodcurdling scares!

Three attractions at one location! Located in the Fiesta Mall parking lot. Go to HauntedAZ.com for more bone-chilling information. Look on page 100 and save with your own creepy coupon!

SWAY PHX Events “Sins on 7th”

Prepare for the fright night of your life! Celebrate the spookiest night of the year with SWAY PHX Events!

Party in Pedicabs at the best bars & clubs on 7th Avenue with drink specials, snacks, and more! For a full list of participating bars see the ad on p. 60

ION ARIZONA HALLOWEEN PARTY GUIDE

All parties are on Halloween Night unless otherwise noted Anvil See ad on pg 24 31 Costume Contest -Cash Prizes BS West See ads pp. 19 & 20 24 “Carnage!”

Charlie’s See ad p. 23 21 Rocky Horror Picture Show Ball 24 Pussy LeHoot’s “Witches Ball” 26 Leather Night 28 Heaven & Hell 31 Halloween Night!

11/1 Charlie’s Day of the Dead Diablo’s See ad on p. 11 31 “Inferno!” Look Like a Devil Dick’s Cabaret See ad on p. 110 31 Halloweenie Cruisin’ 7th See ad on p. 24 31 Halloween Madness

RC Saloon See ad on p. 14 31 Sexy Super Hero Party Stacy’s See ad on p. 12 FLEX SPA See ad p. 125 17 Masked Underwear Party Hula’s See ad on p. 70 Karamba See ad on p. 13 27 Freak Show 28 Creepy Cats 29 Postions: Witches’ Night 31 Halloween 11/1 Dia de los Muertos The Rock See ad on p. 7 31 “Nightmare on Melrose” Twisted Peacock “Twisted Addiction” See ad on p. 8 IBT’s See ad on p. 131

Nightmare on 4th Ave.

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Rush Pixie

The Sugar

Miley Mitchells as

#HOOKER

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IONTUCSON

IONBISBEE

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FLAWLESS FRIDAYS

IBT’S

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Vol. 9, Issue 7

October 2015

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

Volkswagen scandal grows: more clowns OUTRAGEOUS! inside than EPA knew.

Wolfsburg, GERMANY – In the wake of the legendary German car company caught cheating on American pollution emission tests by installing “defeat devices,” further investigations reveal more engineering misdeeds with the classic “Beetle.”

vehicles than permitted by the EPA “Too Many Clowns Crammed in Tiny Car” Act of 1982.

“The most those ridiculously small cars can hold is five average size adult clowns, Three morbidly obese clowns, or maybe eight little people clowns,” said one anonymous tipster.

“We deliberately ‘tricked’ the clown calibration installation device, enabling more clowns to fit Circuses around the world have ANY RESEMBLANCE TOlongTHE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL intoIS Beetles. entertained audiences with the comedic gag when a Volkswagen Beetle, or “Bug,” motors Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus into the circus ring and a seemingly endless claims to have no knowledge of wrong doing. parade of clowns emerge from the tiny vehicle, much to the audience’s delight.

“What next?” asked one clown. “A recall of

OUTRAGEOUS! A federal investigation into Volkswagen’s shady automotive engineering practices revealed that more clowns than physically possible have been shoved into the tiny

squirting giant flower boutonnieres?”

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OUTRAGEOUS!

Sábado Gigante cancelation OUTRAGEOUS! dooms giant bee population.

OUTRAGEOUS!

network and the Doral, FLA – For show in particular. over fifty years the popular Latin “We’re baffled,” American musical ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL said one variety game anonymous bee show Sábado research scientist.

Gigante has been a “The species staple for Spanish of bumble bee speaking people is unique to the on the Univision. stage of Sábado The genial Gigante. With Don Francisco pesticides killing hosted the wildly off the bee unpredictable, populations of the endless marathon world, we don’t show every ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL see how this bee Saturday with an can live anywhere American Idol It’s a sad day meets Gong Show ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY else.

ACCIDENTAL for the bee world.” style singing contest, busty United States Republican officials say, “You women in skimpy bikinis, wrestlers, dwarves do realize that’s just a fat guy in a bee costume, and other wild, zany, skits and games that don’t you?” confuse most “gringo” Americans.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Sadly, the recent cancelation of the legendary show spells the end of the gigantic, Latin American Bumble Bee, unique to the Univision

Right. And global warming isn’t a thing, either.

Sheesh.

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OUTRAGEOUS!

Trump plans on White House OUTRAGEOUS! remodel early.

OUTRAGEOUS!

New York – who asked to remain Billionaire, anonymous. fat-fingered vulgarian “The Trump House, presidential as he plans on calling Republican will be an exercise ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLYit,ACCIDENTAL nominee hopeful in bad taste like Donald Trump is you’ve never seen planning early. before,” he reported.

He’s eager to “Gone are the move into the antique Chippendale, mansion that Heppelwhite and for over 200 Sheraton furnishings years over 40 of the historic public presidents and rooms. The mansion their family’s is undergoing a have called massive facelift.” “home.” But ANY TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL The RESEMBLANCE Donald is Trump announces anxious to put plans to add an a few changes additional 15 stories ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL here and there to the modest in the Executive building. And that’s Mansion to make not all. “I will gild it “more liveable,” he said from his New York Trump House in 24-karat gold paint,” Trump City offices in Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. plans. “And not only that, I’m building a big

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

fence around it to keep out Mexican immigrants, Muslims and especially Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Clinton.”

OUTRAGEOUS! “First of all, it’s too small. Way too small. It’s gotta be big. Humongous. This is for Trump.

Well, and America” he directed an architect

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F

ALL has officially arrived, hunties. There are two things you can count on: a new fabulous wardrobe and APS disconnecting the deadbeats who got a free pass during the summer months. If you need a clean slate, this is the perfect time to let the new season usher in a fresh start.

And that’s what this month’s Favorite Bitch® is all about!

Dear Miss Tiger, I started a new job at Dunkin’ Donuts. One of my co-workers is a young college jock.

He’s been flirting with me heavily. The other night, he put my hand on his huge package.

I’m ready to take him to my bed but I have a husband. What should I do, girl?

— Tempted in Tempe Dear Fuckery Like This Is Probably Why You Ended Up Working In A Dunkin’ Donuts In The First Place, The pay is for shit ... but it looks like the employee incentives are the best in the business. Go ahead and let that douchebag smash you like some jelly-donuts-tossed-in-a-paper-bag-duringthe-morning-rush!

P.S. Seriously, hunty. You got a man. So instead of fantasizing about this trick in bed, keep it real and get your donut glazed in the broom closet at work!

Dear Miss Tiger, I was in an eight-year relationship. We broke up last month. I decided to make up for lost time by hooking-up with hot strippers. I even hired an escort with 11 inches! I got my face cracked when I found out that all these guys know each other.

My new attitude has branded me a nasty slut! Any advice for me?

— Mike

Dear Try Givin’ That Muffin Of Yours A Coffee Break, Boo, when you decided to spread your culo around like butter, ya should’ve been prepared for your good reputation to melt like it, too!

Dear Miss Tiger, I ditched my boyfriend because he wouldn’t go down on me. I need a new man who’ll enjoy this flower! Got any tips?

— Tia Dear Make It Rain, And speaking of H2O, water that flower real good with some Summer’s Eve and don’t you fret, Tia. There’ll be plenty of bees buzzing around that nectar!

Dear Miss Tiger, I’m a Fall complexion. I’m looking for a new lipstick. What shade should I wear?

— Nancy Dear I Got The Shade For You Alright, Do I look like an Esteé Lauder beauty consultant from the Macy’s at Biltmore Fashion Park? Take yo‘ ass to their counter ... and choose a color that compliments the base of ya man’s anaconda!

MISS TIGER Advice Columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Facebook /MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com

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by Synergistic Studios SynergisticStudios.com

Josh Corona

Personal Trainer & Model Phoenix, AZ FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM @SYNERGISTICSTUDIOS

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by Addison DeWitt

darling little crustacean (B) on the plate. It’s better than getting a case of crabs, kids! Does she come with a side of Cheddar Bay Biscuits?

B

y the shores of Gitchee Goomee, By the shining big sea water ...”

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the Blue Corn Moon?

A Well, neither have I. But during a recent expedition to wilds of Scottsdale at B.S. West, I saw brave Big Chief Tim Foye (A), who hails from the mighty land of Ah-Wah-TuKee. I adore his fabulous “Make Love, Not War” bonnet. And yes ... He can paint with all the colors of the wind.

C I’ve seen him do it at Stacy’s @ Melrose, where he tends bar. Shirtless, of course. When Tim’s around, you’ll learn things you never knew you never knew. He brings out the savage in me.

“Under da sea! Nobody beat us, fry us and eat us in fricassee!”

In cased you missed out on Red Lobster’s “Endless Shrimp Feast” it’s not too late to head over to B.S. West for “Stars of Tomorrow” for a surprise Lobster Fest! Bring on the tartar sauce and butter, because I got hungry when I spotted this

D

B

E

Thar she blows! If you head out to the high seas (or the Scottsdale Waterfront), you’ll need a ship.

B.S. West’s sexy skipper Mike Fornelli is always able to help out with some motorboating (C).

Tits ahoy!

See all this naughty nautical excitement and much, much more at the exciting “Stars of Tomorrow” competition at B.S. West with saucy “Rear” Admiral Kendra Katoure (D) at the helm! You can almost smell the ocean. Well, I smell fish, anyway.

No reservations necessary. Please, tip your server generously!

My favorite little polliwog Trevor Grant is growing up so fast!

He just had another birthday, so he drank like a fish to celebrate! As Trevor’s clothes kept coming off he had to F get reeled in by his handsome boyfriend, Tylor Caruso. Looks like you caught a live one there! (E)

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xpect a “Thriller” this months with a gangbang of planetary conjunctions. October 26 your libido soars in the bedroom, with your power and influence rising at work.

It all happens when sexy Venus gets it on with mighty Jupiter. See yet another Super Moon to light up the night sky on October 27, just in time for lusty Mars to join in for a three-way with Venus and Jupiter. Sparks fly! These early morning celestial orgasms will affect your life. So do do that voodoo that you do so well.

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20 A little bit of hocus-pocus on your part helps with a project that’s been irritating you.

It isn’t all smoke and mirrors; you apply yourself and–poof!–it’s done! Finally.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20 Somebody you thought was long gone rises from not-so-dead past to haunt you. Now is the time to trust your intuition–something you don’t usually do. Get out the stake and mallet. It has to be done.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22 A potion you swallow gives you magic powers. In reality the “potion” is just vodka making you unusually horny. So does beer.

And rum. And tequila. Better watch those “magic powers.”

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22 You have the ability to use a charm which bewitches someone special. If it’s your birthday you’ll find yourself joining a cult. Or maybe a club. It’s probably gonna be a club.

Work your magic!

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23 A little bit of “Abracadabra,” some Axe Body Spray and–BAM!–you’ve got yourself some mighty mojo, baby. You make your own magic. Birthday Scorps can expect a secret to be revealed.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 Tricks and treats are coming your way. But beware! If you overindulge you’ll be sorry.

It’s nothing a little exorcising and exercising won’t cure. Your mummy needs you. It wouldn’t hurt to call once in a while.

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20 You’ve entered into a deal that has you Gemini May 21 - June 21 feeling like you made a pact with the Devil.

Your natural cunning and wily abilities gives It’s not legally binding and you have nothing you the ability to create havoc for mortals to be afraid of. Except for the monster living this month. Kind of like the meddling Endora under your bed. on Bewitched. You look glamorous with blue eyeshadow.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 You have a clever bit of sorcery and the Cancer June 22 - July 22 ability to cast a spell to make someone’s life Consider hosting a séance. Your naturally happy ... or a living hell. Having that kind psychic abilities and gregarious nature power is intoxicating, isn’t it? What to do, make it easy for you to communicate to what to do ... (Sinister music plays) others, both, living, or in the Great Beyond.

You need an answer. Somebody has one.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20 Are you prepared?

You know a few curses, hexes, and incantations that you learned at Hogwarts Leo July 23 - Aug. 22 School of Wizardry (and from your mom and Unexplained activity has you spooked. It dad.) You’re compassionate and kind, sort isn’t exactly “paranormal,” however. Expect of like “Glinda the Good Witch.” All you need some ghostly “chain rattling” at work and at is a wand. home from somebody (or “thing”) trying to scare you. Get out the garlic!

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