7 minute read
Why She Does it All
By Ty Chandler
A devoted wife, dedicated mother, and high-powered career woman that still finds time to volunteer in her community. Oh, and she never has a hair out of place, her five-inch heels don’t squeeze her pinky toe and she’s not exhausted by the load of responsibilities that hang over her shoulders. The cultural obsession with how women can do it all and look great while doing it is so prevalent that it shows up in films. Sarah Jessica Parker covered it in her 2011 movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It. In reality, many women do it all, but they find the balancing act can make it almost impossible to give 100 percent to everything all the time.
There’s been so much focus on how to be this superwoman that makes doing everything look easy. But it’s not really about the How, it’s the Why. The Why is what pushes us through when it seems like we have signed on for too much. The goal is not perfection, but balancing priorities by consistently reconnecting to your purpose. What are your goals and values?
The women of the Junior League of Charlotte, Inc. (JLC) make a commitment to voluntarism knowing that their work for the greater Charlotte community comes in addition to their professional and personal obligations. JLC members spend an estimated 8,800 hours volunteering annually. That adds up to 367 days. Keep in mind, JLC members are mothers, wives, caretakers, friends and confidantes. They are also engineers, doctors, lawyers, executives, entrepreneurs and educators. They create, strategize, problem solve and lead. Volunteering and service extends beyond the JLC, with many members involved in other community groups and organizations. Why do JLC women do it all? Below a JLC member shares her personal story and motivation.
My Story of Why
by Candace Williams
During our first staff meeting for The CRIER as we were getting to know one another and talking about the direction of the magazine, I shared the various things I am juggling. I am a wife of 23 years, the mother of four children ages 21, 19, 17 and 15, a full time healthcare administrator, high school PTO president at Lake Norman Charter, chaplain of the Charlotte Chapter of Jack and Jill of America, co-chair of the Women’s Business Resource Group and co-chair of the engagement committee of the Black/African-American Business Resource Group at my workplace, chair of the scholarship committee chair for the Greater Charlotte Healthcare Executives Group, and sales committee member of the Playing for Others board. I am in my fifth year with the JLC having served two years with Training and Development, one year as a membership advisor, and now on the staff of The CRIER. In addition, I completed Get on Board (a JLC training program for those looking to develop the skills necessary to serve on a board of directors) and am currently serving as an intern on the Sugar Creek Charter board with hopes of it turning into a board position.
But why do I do it all? How do I balance it? I know my faith and my family support system are key, but I wanted to offer more to those reading this. To do that, I had to take a deeper dive and do some real self reflection to understand the “why” I do it that leads to the “how” I do it. My husband and my children are my reasons. They are my priority. In this I know I am not alone. Over the years, I’ve chosen to serve in organizations that directly
“The Junior League allows me to build a network of cheerleaders who not only support my success, but also inspire it through their own lives, action and commitments. I do all that I do to initiate and lay the foundation for change in my family and our communities.” Marshae Smith
impact our children. I sought out opportunities for them that I believed would help them grow into compassionate and caring people. With our children now young adults and teenagers, I am in a place where I am engaging more in things that feed my own desire to grow personally and professionally.
Since joining the JLC, I’ve chosen internal placements (focusing on the daily running of the League) because I want to see other women grow in those same ways and love being a part of lifting up other women. I also realized that in many ways I am fueled by my own insecurities. The need to prove my value, to prove my worth. I am plagued by the imposter syndrome: are they going to find me out? While at the same time, I want to give back to the community, particularly in ways that impact children, not just my own. I want to see women rise to the top and live out their personal and professional goals.
It is important to me that I not only do a lot, but do it with excellence. I find myself questioning whether or not I’m doing too much and at the same wondering if I’m doing enough. Are my children and husband getting enough of me? Have I spent too much time trying to do things that will help them grow into amazing people and not enough time pouring life messages directly into them?
I’ve learned that I can’t give 100% to everything all the time. There are times when I’m all in with the JLC, like right now, as deadlines for The CRIER quickly approach and I have articles to write. At other times, I’m all in for my role as PTO president and will look out months ahead and inundate my fellow PTO presidents with emails when I find the time. And at other times, I may be all in for the women’s BRG, like when we were planning on bringing in a few speakers to present our accomplishments and goals in front of our president & CEO and our EVP & Chief Diversity & Inclusion officer. It is during those times that I am giving of myself primarily to one organization that I have learned to lean on others for support and delegate where I can. I also do a lot of planning and looking ahead. I constantly try new ways to organize all of the moving pieces and to ensure I don’t miss any details and I embrace technology as a tool.
It also is in those moments where I question whether I am doing too much and where I question what would I stop doing. And the truth is, I don’t know. I think it’s all valuable. It’s all important to me for one reason or another. If anything, I fight the desire to add more to my list. But then I remember that I committed myself to make sure that anything I add provides true value to myself and those I serve. I make sure to count the cost. We all have full plates and are juggling competing priorities. My hope, my prayer, is that rather than judge one another, we as women champion and support one another as we are all on our own journey to get it done.
When all is said and done, I want to know my husband and kids feel loved and supported, grow personally and professionally, and make a positive impact in my community. Will I always get it right? No. Will I make mistakes? Yes, but I will always give it my best and trust that my best is enough.
“I love being really busy. I’m taking a real estate class now.... I did slow down a few months ago, now I’m taking a real estate course. I don’t like being slow...No breaks, full blast, even at 61.” Lisa Tomilinson
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